"Some are born virtuous, some become virtuous. To be good by nature is indeed fortunate but to become good is like walking on a double-edged sword; it takes a longer time and is more painful." Umera Ahmed

Chapter 5 : Improving

"The enemy is in approach" Neji-San prevented me in my communicator.

"Roger." I said signing to Gai-Sensei.

We had broken up in two teams to trail the bandits. They thought they could escape from us ? What an error. We had a Byakugan and a Sharingan in our team. It was impossible for us to lose.

I leaped from my branch in silence. I watched the way Gai-Sensei was positioning his body. How did he managed his moves ? I always used chakra to reduce the sound and the shocks of my body when I landed, but he didn't. Or rether he didn't seem to. I really wanted to understand how he managed that. My ees didn't seem to pick it up.

People seem to think Sharingan offers us shortcuts. It isn't really true. It's not because you've understood something in your mind that you can reproduce it. The Jounin had shown me how hard it actually was to copy and reproduce. He wanted me to get better and better. Analyze, copy and redo were the basics. There was only training left after that.

We silently jumped from tree's to trees, ready to block their path. I was thinking of my options. Should I use a Genjutsu or a Katon on them ? Maybe I should check what Gai-Sensei suggested before...

Dynamic Entry !" he bellowed, his feet hitting a man in the face as he landed.

Well, that worked too... I followed his lead by a shower or shuriken. Crossing my fingers, I multiplied them. None of the blades were illusionary. It had been a pain learning the Shadow shuriken Jutsu, but I had managed.

Their group dispersed as their leader fell drooling, properly knocked out by Sensei. Three of them fell under Neji-San's divination and two others were severely hit by Lee-San. In the middle of my shuriken, Gai-Sensei moved. He was so efficient, never wasting a move of chakra. My sharingan was registering everything. And I learn. What was efficient. What was not. How they should move.

Two people were moving towards me. I made a small step on the right avoiding the thrust of a sword. A sweep of my leg mowed the other down. I jumped above his body, efficiently blocking the swordsman again. A foot landed, the sole of the other hit his throat harshly. He gasped loudly, spitting blood as he drew back. The one on the floor tried to grab me but he was way too slow. I finished my kicking move by hitting him in the head.

A mere minute had passed.

"I got the stolen amulet." Neji-San said.

"What do we do with them, Sensei ?" I asked. "Do we tie them up ?"

"There should be some cells in the next town" he said. "Knock them out and take one each."

There was nine bandits. It was quite unusual to see kids carrying full gown men on their back. It was especially unusual to have a man running around with five unconscious men on his shoulder.

These rank C missions seemed to go well. They weren't thrilling, since our opponents hadn't much fighting experience, but they allowed us to go outside Konoha. This was our third, and it had led us deep in the west of the Fire country. The only time I had never travelled outside the village. Travels had always been between wih Father and Onii-San. I was too young to remember them.

Not that I particularly wished to remember my childhood. I was too busy to daydream, and I made mysef busy not to dream.

I wished we could go back to Konoha soon. I had just missed Sasuke's birthday. I wanted to offer him a maintenance kit with a sharpener. I hoped he had improved his cooking. Lest time I was gone for a week he had burned a whole salmon. At least it was crispy, though a little bit on the black side.

We gave our prisoners to the local sheriff.

"It's too late for returning to Konoha." Neji-San said.

"Gai-Sensei ! I suggest we run as fast as we can !"

"I approve of your youthful idea, Lee ! Unfortunately Neji is right."

"Fine ! Then I will do 150 push-ups instead."

"Here he goes again." I sighed.

"That's the spirit, Lee ! I'll train with you ! If any of us fails, I will run 200 laps around the town."

"They don't know how to keep a low profile, do they ?" I asked Neji-San.

"Were you expecting anything different ?"

"But before let me make some reservation in the Inn tonight."

We were supposed to meet there afterwards. Because we had nothing better to do, Neji-San reluctantly suggested we sparred. This was awkward. We usually found other partners in our free time, or tried to work in solo. But we were slowly reaching a consensus : he didn't talk about my family and I didn't retorted something mean about his father.

He won the spar. Mostly because I wasn't using any Jutsu. If I had been... well I would probably have lost anyway. He was fast and he reached far. I couldn't hope hitting him efficiently without him closing my tenketsu. At least our spar lasted longer than it used to do. I was particularly proud of the few bruises I had left in his white skin. They matched the purple dots on my arms.

"I hate the numb feeling afterwards." I grumbled as we were walking back to the town.

"I don't suppose you'll let me open them for you." he said.

"I have no will to feel your fingers on my skin again." I pouted.

"Then I suggest you get faster. Then again you'll never improve enough to beat me. "

"Whatever you say."

"Things were written that way."

"Watch me kicking your ass next time !"

He had a slight disbelieving smirk and I felt something flutter inside of me. I looked away, feeling a bit hot. Looking at his moonlike eyes was disturbing. Not mentionning

I stretched as we entered the inn. Gai-Sensei and Lee-San were already in the room. I claimed the bathroom first. Gai-Sensei gave the boys another lecture about peeping on women. At least I was about sure I would never have problem with these guys. Lee-San was too much of a gentleman, and Neji-San wouldn't dare.

I watched my silhouette in the mirror. I was sure I had grown a centimeter or two, but the most important detail was my frame. I had gained muscles. I used to be rather thin, but all these Taijutsu trainings had thickened them. I even had abs under my flat stomach. I let myself relax in the shower as I rubbed the soap on my body. Damn this puberty and these hormones peaks. Why did I have to live next to two teenage boys ? I couldn't quite understand this hunger inside of me when my eyes sometimes landed on them.

My hands travelled down to my inner thighs. I had felt hot and bothered the whole fight with Neji-San and I was about sure he knew about it. Fortunately he said nothing about it. I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall, indulging myself a little pleasure. Years living with Sasuke had taught me how to remain silent while wiggling my fingers.

The evening went well. We played 20 questions with ourselves. It's not particularly easy to guess concepts like youthfulness. I was getting along better with the boys. It felt good somehow. I hadn't played for ages. I did with Sasuke-Chan when I was more innocent. With my team I wasn't crushed by responsabilites too much, I had time to play. I coud be a kid again.

I remember looking at the window at some point of the night, thinking of before. Life wasn't the best, but it was good enough. Onii-Chan had no time for me, allowing lesser clanmembers to adopt the daughter of Uchiha Kagami. He was always with Itachi-Sama, and I was following with Sasuke, too young to star with the too genius, too old to bond fully with my young cousin. I was only tree years younger than the clan heir, yet he seemed so far away.

"Are you thinking of them ?" Neji-San had whispered while Lee-San and Gai-Sensei were kindly reminded by the owner there was other people sleeping in the other rooms.

I couldn't tell why I had these tears in my eyes.

Black and red in my head.

It had been a while since I had these visions. I felt the excruciating pain in my flank. I had to remind myself they are unreal.

I want to focus chakra to break the jutsu bit it's hard. It's really hard.

That night it seems a little bit easier. Maybe I got better.

I'm still bleeding, feeble and frightened. There's a maelstrom of emotion in the body of the girl I used to be. My eyes travel to the hilt of the katana. Who was on the other side ? I see a gloved hand holding it.

My blood is red. His hand is black.

For the first time in years there's someone else with me in this dream.

The blade had gone through my body, tracing a thick scar on my breast, opening a wound on the other side. It pinned me to the tree. How deep is it in the bark ? What if... What if...

I shouted in pain as my fist connected with a faceless man.

I opened my eyes in the Inn. My eyes were hurting me and I was crying. Everything around me was in grey tones.

Oh no ! It had happened again !

I threw the covers down the bed. They went as solid as stone as soon as they weren't around my body. My head was killing me.

Fighting that everlasting Genjutsu really was tricky. It inflicted me lots of pain whatever I tried. But I couldn't escape from it except with the help of other people. It was the first time I have had the dream around my teammates. The Yamanaka doctor that was following me had said I could prevent my mind from dreaming of what had happened with a few mental exercises. It was a small ritual I did before sleeping and it worked quite well.

Obviously it had failed.

So now what should I do ?

Last time this situation happened it was about two month ago, and I only freed myself because this seemed to be a Jutsu and I have fell from chakra exhaustion. Given the fact that I was miles away from the village, I had no desire to be carried back by Gai-Sensei.

The doctor had said there had been nothing wrong with my eyes, but there had to be. I was fucking bleeding !

I went to the bathroom to clean my face. I hoped fresh water would lessen the pounding in my head. Hopefully the door had been left ajar and I managed to squeeze inside the bathroom. I stopped in front of the tap. Whatever was happening, I had no way to influence things that weren't directly in contact with me.

Maybe if I focused some chakra in my hand I could use the tap ?

I directed the chakra flow inside my fingers. They went through the metal.

Wait, what ?

Did I just...

I tried on the door. I went through it. I focused my chakra inside my whole arm. I went through even further. Wicked !

The most incredible thing was that I had no feeling of the part of me that was 'inside' the wood. I moved my fingers. I could feel and direct my arm, so the nervous messages were still there. I retracted my arm. I didn't know whether I would get stuck in the wood or if my arm would be cut in two if I stopped the jutsu. Actually I didn't want to test that.

Plus my head was still hurting me. I looked at myself in the mirror. Thin blood streams had rolled on my face. My sharingan looked like a flower, a black flower outlined in red. I could feel the amount of chakra I was unconsciously using : way more than with a normal Sharingan ! If only I could reduce the flow...

Pain eased immediately. I hadn't been aware of the silence I was in until the soft sounds of the inn hit me. I was aware of the snoring in the other room. I was aware of the water dripping in the next room. I was aware of the wind in the trees outside.

I washed the blood in my face, properly shutting my Sharingan off.

I was aware of the soft steps of Neji-San behind me ! I twirled, throwing my towel at him. He pushed it away with one of his forearms before grabbing my right fist in his hand. I stopped my other fist right before his chest. We both know he wouldn't have blocked it. We both relaxed.

"How did you do that ?" he asked lowly.

"Did what ?" I whispered back.

"You were having a nightmare, then you disappeared. I saw your sheets move, but nothing else. I couldn't sense you at all, even with my Byakugan on. So what did you do ?"

So that's how I could use this ability... Too bad I had to break from a Genjutsu anchored in my mind and suffer monstrous headaches to maintain it.

Hey, I knew something Neji Hyuuga didn't !

"I'm not telling you." I answered. "Let's go back to bed."

I went back to the room, deeply thinking about the experience. That could be very useful if I could use this weird Sharingan without these major inconvenient. I wasn't aware there was other stages than having three tomoe.

Then it hit me.

"Hyuuga Neji, are you watching me sleep ?" I muttered with a touch of anger.

He brushed past me.

"I'm not telling you." he mimicked me.

Gai-Sensei suggested we youthfully took our flirting out of the room. I was blushing mad when I lied down on my bed. Me, flirting with a Hyuuga ? Unconceivable. Both of us were too close to the main family of our clan to marry with outsiders. I supposed his wedding had been planned for years. As for mine, I was grateful they hadn't named Sasuke-Chan for it, I still had the opportunity to reject him. Not that such things mattered.

There was no further incident by the time we went back to Konoha. Because it was only the beginning of the afternoon, I went to the Administration Tower to get access to my clan's archive. It bothered me that I had to tell them why I wanted access. Officially they couldn't prevent me to access them, but they could refuse to give me the key. I had no mean to make them change their mind.

There was lots of memories that came back to my mind as I opened several boxes to check their content.I took some stuff from there like an old pendant Father had offered Mother for their marriage and Brother's tanto. I had an hesitation seeing my old guitare lying there as well. The teams who had cleaned the compound had put it with all my stepfamily's properties. I remember playing some music at the time, back when I had been taught how to be a nice family girl.

I had no idea of what I wanted to be. I hadn't had much ideas since that time. Everyone was wanting things from me. Somehow it was a good thing some of my people weren't there anymore. I wanted to show my talent and learn many things, and it pleased my adopted mother. They had obviously taken me in to augment their prestige (my adopted father had gotten more popular within the clan, hadn't he ?). But I had this voice in the back of my head who wanted Onii-Chan back. My talent worried him for an unknown reason. My stepfamily, the elders of the clan and Fugaku-Sama had told me several times about how much I could gain by honing my powers. At the time I decided I would stop improving too fast, so I would get my brother back.

Today I couldn't afford this luxury without a clan, and Sasuke-Chan was counting on me.

I finally stop ressassing memories to get to work. I was glad they had kept the Archives. I was quite sure the documents had been copied, at least those which could be. Most of the textes had been written for people who had the Sharingan. And that wasn't even a third of our clansmen. It was there that I learned about the existence of the Mangekyô Sharingan. It was some sort of a better Sharingan activated by losing a loved one. I had been there when Father passed away, though it didn't happened as peacefully as the official reports said.

I found nothing about everlasting Genjutsu. The powers of the Mangekyô Sharingan were different for every person, and there wasn't much documents about it. Actually everything I had found was on the Clan wars, and half of it was witten in gibberish. I suspected I would have to activate my own Mangekyô to read it. Even if I somehow managed to fall asleep here and then dream, there was no way I could look up the books with that power of mine.

A deadend for now, then.

In the late afternoon I decided to buy Sasuke-Chan's present. I also bought a new outfit for myself. The old one had started getting a bit small. I opted for a short back kimono and black short pants. A large burgundy leather obi closed my top. I placed the short sword in the back. I didn't look half bad in these. It really was a pain finding fitting clothes.

Sasuke-Chan went home later. I had set the tables making healthy food; I had tried my best (which wasn't much but he didn't mind) and he seemed happy. I remember the first birthday we celebrated. It had been mine, and we had been used to have Itachi-Sama, Sasuke-Chan and Onii-San at my adopted family's home (such an honor for them). That year we had bought a small cake and ate it between ourselves. Owning half of it made me want to cry.

Last year I had managed to have some of his classmates over. It had felt awkward. The Hyuuga heir was a timid girl, and I wasn't fond of her cousin at the time. The Yamanaka girl was gloating about being the best kunoichi and tried to claim Sasuke-Chan as a husband. As for the boys it seemed I had made a mistake by having all these clan heir in the appartment. The Aburame was creepy but quiet ; he had been the only one Sasuke-Chan had shown a slight interest for, as well as the Nara guy when he hadn't been half asleep on his chair. Most of the food was eaten by the Aburame, but it didn't matter since his mother gave us tons of sweets. The Inuzuka and the Kyuubi boy were exhausting (Sasuke-Chan actually wished to murder me because of them), shouting and running around. The dog boy was even teasing me in an annoying manner (Sasuke-Chan said he had broken his nose the next day, no idea why).

This year I had no time to organize another event of that scale (especially with my rank C missions). Sasuke-Chan actually surprised me when he said some of the boys actually dared asking if we would throw a party this year again. He also said most of the asking had been done by the Inuzuka and the Uzumaki. I wasn't much surprused. I remember talking to them sometimes when meeting them in the Academy. I had nothing against Uzumaki Naruto. My family had said nothing about rejecting him (well they didn't want me to hang with civilians or lesser clanmembers), and I remember Itachi-Sama advising his brother and I not to seclude the boy.

That night I took a look at my brother's sword as I was sharpening it. I tried waving it around in the living room, but I definitely hadn't enough space to try some moves. I had never learned any sword technique, so I was basically using it like I would use a long kunai. I decided to try tomorrow during my solo training.

Looking at the ceiling I'm thinking. Sasuke-Chan never told me about Itachi-Sama, but I was sure he had achieved the Mangekyô Sharingan stage. There was no way he could have done such an impressive Genjutsu on his brother without it. Who did he see die ? Was it before or after he...

I tried chasing the disturbing ideas from my mind. I looked at my reflection on the mirror. What if I tried channeling more chakra in my eyes ? My Sharingan twirled on. I kept increasing the amount of chakra. More. More.

I started feeling pain in my eyes.

"Come on... Come on !" I whispered to my reflection.

Nothing happened. Shit.

I guess I still had a long way to go.

I went back to my bed with a big headache. It wouldn't work.

"Stop sulking and sleep, please." a half-asleep voice told me from the other room.

"Brat." I answered.

"Will you stop calling me that ? I just gained one year." he reminded me.

"Hum... No." I answered.

I couldn't sleep. Like at all. I just couldn't. I was rolling in my civers, unable to find a comfortable position. Morning found me still reading scrolls on my bed.

If I look half as bad as I felt during training, then I guess why Neji-San was looking at me weirdly. I still had a slight headache, trying and trying to activate this second Sharingan stage without success. Damn it seemed so easy on the paper, especially since I had already completed the first requirement. So what was I missing ?

No need to say I couldn't focus enough. Both Neji-San and Lee-San beat me up today.

"If you had trained instead of choosing clothes, it wouldn't have happened." the Hyuuga had told me.

"Everyone has days off. Get youthful again, Yanagi-San !" Lee-San suggested.

I could feel the tanto in my back. The sheath felt rather hard, especially when boys land kicks on it. I looked the way the blade glimmered in the sunrays. Onii-San combined it with fire attacks. I thought it looked cool.

"Nice weapon, Yanagi !" Gai-Sensei complimented me.

"It was my brother's." I said and it sounded off somehow.

"I see. Would you like to test it a bit today while Neji and Lee have a go at each other ?"

"I'm not sure." I answered, watching them fight. "I think it's better if I only get to look for now. I'm not feeling extremely well today."

"Then rest well. When you feel better, I suggest you look for Hayate Gekko. He's a Chuunin specialized in swordsmanship. But perhaps you'd prefer looking for my fated rival. As painful as it is, I guess he might have more answers than me."

How he had guessed my Sharingan problems was beyond me ? Maybe he has asked people at the tower, but I was fairly certain he didn't. One of the impressive things about Gai-Sensei was the way he observed people. He didn't have a dôjutsu, yet he could pick up the signals the body emitted like no one. I was quite sure he could detect a Henge by looking at the body language.

How was Gai-Sensei so strong while he was just a Genjutsu master ?

"That's because I'm filled with the power of youth !"

I snorted in answer.

Still I had to get stronger and I had no time. Three months had passed since my graduation. A few more and Sasuke-Chan would be old enough to get his own Genin team. And then he would probably start chasing his brother.

I had no time to grow. I wanted to be already grown.

I watched the boys fighting each other. Lee-San was trying hard to get to Neji. I felt the information filling my mind. Without knowing I would soon move like him when I would land a hit. Or maybe would I dance around like Neji-San, not caring about the powerful hits that went around me. I was learning and learning again.

"I don't want you to tell the boys about that, but it seems like you'll be attending the next Chuunin exam." Sensei said.

I was flabbergasted. We hadn't the level. We had only gone to a handful of D rank mission and three easy rank C. There was no way I could have the level to be a Chuunin yet.

"How is that possible ? I mean, we don't work really well as a team, yet. And individually we don't have the level. We are clearly missing in several areas. Why did you suggest that ?"

He didn't answer, but I clearly saw the tension in his spine. Someone was forcing his hand. I remember when I had taunted him at the bell test. I knew he hadn't the power to send us back to the Academy (well he could have send Lee-San back with a little bit of persuasion on his side). The village would have refused to send an Uchiha or a Hyuuga in the Academy. They would want us battle-ready as soon as possible.

"Is there such an urgency to have us on the field ?" I asked. "Are there political stuff happening ? Should we worry ?"

"Yanagi, it wasn't a 'you' as in 'Team 9'. The village wants an Uchiha officer."

My eyes widened. What the...

"I'm truly sorry. I know I am failing as a teacher, but I can't protect you from them. I managed to delay them, but my hands are tied."

"When you say 'them'..." I started.

"Yanagi, listen to me."

We watched the match in silence. Lee-San had managed to block most of Neji-San's attack for now. There was a pattern on the Hyuuga attacks, I knew. What I really wanted to know was to anticipate his moves from the first muscle twitch. A fist generally comes from the shoulder and the hip.

"I wish I wasn't the one to teach you this. I supposed you would have learn some ropes in your clan, but... Anyway, Konoha has a really neat political agenda. For now it is considered to be the most powerful hidden village. To keep that place in time of peace, we have to show our talents at the Chuunin exams. This is where nobles and minor countries go to see who they should support."

"In other words they want to show they still have powerful clans in Konoha, even with the massacre. Politics sucks. But I get what you mean. The same things happens inside of clans, you know ? So when Itachi-Sama had started to act 'oddly' and Onii-San died..."

"I'm truly sorry about you and your cousin."

"Don't be. If you really were you would have tried harder to protect me. Now I have to get stronger for an exam I can't pass. Thanks a lot Sensei." I bitterly retorted.

Neji-San unsurprisingly won the round. Gai-Sensei made us practice our throws. I was glad I trained so often with Tenten. She really was a weapon mistress. I'd just needed to pick her moves precisely and then train. Strength and angle varied at every throw, but it was just a question of calculus after that.

I was picking my weapons when Gai-Sensei decided to finish our conversation.

"The exam will be next January, in Water Country."

"Even more great." I sarcastically reacted. "I get to be evaluated in a place where Kekkei Genkai are seen as threats. They wiped clans there too. Wait, did the village thought that would make me sympathize with the other contestants ?"

"Stop being so negative and listen to me. I'm sure you can make it. You have six months before getting there. It's not a problem if you don't manage. Many people don't succeed at first. I didn't."

"Well it seems that isn't the case for Uchiha." I sulked. "Why me ? I'm not that strong or smart ? Neji-San's the genius in our team."

"I'm not letting you go because of your abilities. I'm letting you go because of your quest."

"Huh ?"

"You're looking for the man who destroyed your life. You really think you'll be able to find and question him that easily ? You would have gone sooner or later. Grief makes you do things you'll regret. But I don't think I'll be able to reach you with my words. So go ahead and face danger. Face it until you can dream again."

He wasn't stopping me. He thought my quest was silly, but he wasn't stopping me.

Because once I'll have my answers, what will I do next ?

I was doing all this to save Sasuke-Chan's life. What about mine ?

"Shinobi are people who make hard choices. I hope you'll make yours wisely."

Six months to go. Only six.


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