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-Twenty-

In the Dark

When Morgana awoke the following morning, her head was much clearer. The idea of being Morgana again had settled somewhat. Even though she didn't feel like Morgan anymore, she didn't entirely feel like Morgana. She felt like a clean slate. She had the chance to be good from the start. So why did she have a hardness in the pit of her stomach? Why did she keep seeing her past life replay out in front of her eyes? How could she move on and become a different person if her past kept haunting her?

Let go. That's what Ryll would tell her. Ryll. She was probably worried about Morgana. Had she gotten her memories back at the same time as Morgana? Something told her that Ryll had been the reason Morgana had gotten her memories back. Ryll was always the clever one, finding solutions to what seemed to be impossible problems. If anyone could see them all through this, it was her. History was already repeating itself. Uther was still fighting magic even though it was already dying.

Then change it. If they didn't learn from their past mistakes then the future would be riddled with them. Morgana had made so many mistakes in the past, but not she had the chance to make up for them. She wouldn't let them hold her back. Feeling a fierce determination welling up inside of her, Morgana went in search of her sister.

"I need to go back to Ealdor to get something. Then I'm going to talk to my father," she said. And no one is going to convince me otherwise, was more or less implied.

Despite Morgause's protests, Morgana left A.V.A.L.O.N. Agency after calling a cab from the office phone. "I'll be back," she promised her sister. "This is something I need to do."

"I can't stop you or tell you what to do, sister, only advise you to the best of my ability. I just worry. Uther will say anything to get you back," Morgause warned her.

"Maybe giving up on him already will only drive him to destroy magic faster. Maybe I can talk to him."

"I admire your optimism, Morgana. Just be careful. I don't want to see you get hurt." Morgause reached out to touch her sister's face.

"I'll be careful," Morgana promised. "I know he's not going to change overnight, but I hope he meant it when he said he wanted things to be different between us."

Her cab honked from the curb, and Morgana hugged her sister before going to meet it. "Ealdor, please," Morgana said. The cabbie nodded and pulled away from the curb. As they passed the white castle the town was named for, Morgana saw a tour bus pulling up the drive. These people had no idea they were so close to the original legends. She smiled to herself. Who would believe they were entering a Pendragon castle anyway? This world didn't believe in magic. Maybe magic was already as good as dead. She didn't want to believe that but if it was magic that had caused all this trouble in the first place, perhaps they'd be better off without it.

The cab dropped her off outside of Ryll's flat, and Morgana retrieved her purse from upstairs to pay the cabbie. Her phone was where she'd left it, and she saw that she had several missed calls from Ryll. She pressed 'call' to connect to her friend, feeling a rush of happiness when Ryll answered a second later.

"Morgana! Is it you?" Ryll asked.

"It's me. I've got my memories back," Morgana told her friend.

"How are you?" The question was weighted, and Morgana could hear the hope and the fear behind Ryll's simple question.

"I'm…" She hesitated. How was she? Could she even answer that question after everything? "I'm just glad there are no more illusions," she said finally. "I'm also ready to be someone new. I don't want to be Morgan but I don't want to be the old Morgana either. I want to be someone who doesn't let people change her."

"You're one of the strongest people I know, Morgana," Ryll told her. "If anyone has the ability to change their future it's you."

"I hope you're right. I've already met Uther in this life." She caught Ryll up, telling her of Uther's unorthodox methods for getting her to White Castle and Lancelot's rescue. She explained A.V.A.L.O.N. Agency and Nimueh's mission. She told Ryll about her sister. "I'm going to forgive him," she said, speaking of Uther. "For all he did in the past, it was me who let him change me into something bitter and evil. I'm not going to let him have any power over me in this life. This is my life."

"I think you're making the right choice," Ryll said. "He might not have changed, but he's still your father and if there's a chance to make things right, you should take it. He's still trying to save you even if he doesn't understand that you don't need saving."

"Morgause thought I was mad for going back to speak with him."

"She just doesn't understand. Uther is nothing to her. She's just trying to protect you. Just don't let her tell you how to live your life. I know she's always had your best interests at heart, but last time didn't go so well."

"I won't. I'm not letting anyone tell me what's best for me."

"Don't even let me tell you," Ryll told her. "I just want to encourage you but I would never want to change you."

"I know that. You tried to keep me from changing before. I can't begin to say how sorry I am for what I did to you." Her voice broke.

"This is a new life, remember? Don't dwell on the past. I forgave you ages ago. You need to forgive yourself now."

Morgana nodded even though Ryll couldn't see the movement. "I will," she said. "Did you find Arthur?"

"We did. He's here now. We're at Merlin's house about four hours away from Ealdor. He's got no idea about the 21st century so it's as if he was frozen in time. He still looks twenty-something." She told Morgana about searching for Excalibur, finally pulling the sword from the stone, and the rush of memories that followed. "It's all very odd. There are still so many questions that need to be answered."

"It's just the beginning," Morgana agreed. "We have a bigger problem though. Uther means to destroy magic."

"How?"

"I don't know. He thinks it's the only way to save me. He thinks it's evil still even if he doesn't think the same of me. I'm going to try to learn more. He's got men working for him. I don't know how much they know, but Lancelot is under some sort of enchantment. He has to serve Uther until he's released."

"You think Uther is using magic?" Ryll sounded surprised.

"I think he's desperate to destroy it and if it means using it beforehand, he might try. Lancelot isn't under his total control though."

"After we got Arthur, we came across two groups of men. One tried to stop us while the other fought them off. I couldn't see their faces, but there are definitely others out there who are aware of what's happening. I feel like I'm one of the only ones who has no idea of anything. You and I both didn't have our memories and yet everyone else seems to have their purpose figured out."

"We'll figure out ours too," Morgana assured her. "We just need to tread carefully until we do."

"Byron works at the pub," Ryll said suddenly. "Will you talk to him? Find out what he knows?"

"I will. And I'll take care of Owl while you're away," Morgana promised. "Or at least see if Byron can feed her if I end up staying with Morgause."

"Thank you. We're going to try to figure out more about Arthur's purpose in coming back. Will you keep me updated on your end?"

"Of course."

"And be careful," Ryll warned her. "Don't let anyone try to use you." She hesitated as if she wanted to say more. "Did you get your magic back?" she asked.

"I did," Morgana replied. "Though I'm not too keen to use it."

"I didn't get mine back," Ryll said softly. "I don't know why."

"Maybe it's just taking awhile," Morgana suggested. "I'm sure it will come back. You didn't even have magic until you were older."

"Or maybe I used up all my magic to bring this Second Coming around. Somehow…"

"We're going to figure this out," Morgana promised. "Perhaps it's the magic weakening and we need to find a way to bring it back before you can get your magic back."

"Either way, I'm glad you're back. I missed you."

"I missed you too."

After they'd said their goodbyes, Morgana fed Owl and left to find the White Dragon pub where she'd first met Liz. Ealdor wasn't a big town by any means, and she had no trouble locating it again. She hesitated outside the doors. She and Byron had had a complicated relationship in Camelot. They'd been enemies and allies, but he'd died before she could make up for whatever ills she'd caused him. She remembered the day after he died so clearly it could have been only moments before. She had a feeling it was similarly engrained in Arthur, Merlin, and Ryll's minds as well. The look on Ryll's face when Sarrum's men had tossed Byron's lifeless body before them… Anyone could see that Byron had been in love with Ryll though he'd come to accept that she would only ever love Merlin. Ryll had loved Byron like a brother though. Through it all they'd shared an unshakable bond that withstood whatever disagreements and conflicts they had. It only made sense that Byron would awaken in this life only to protect Ryll again.

Morgana pushed the doors to the pub open. Byron stood behind the bar polishing a glass. The building was empty, and Morgana was glad for that. Anyone who overheard them might think they were taking the Camelot obsession a little too far. This wasn't going to be a conversation for other ears anyway. When Byron looked up at her there was no surprise in his eyes, and Morgana wondered if he'd known all along.

"Hello, Morgana," he said. He set the glass down.

"Byron."

"Then we both know who we are." She didn't know if that was relief in his voice. What would it have been like to know who you were all this time but not be able to talk to anyone about it?

"Just recently. You?"

"The same."

"So neither of us had our memories until yesterday." She didn't sit, and Byron didn't offer her a seat. They just stood there, the bar between them.

"What changed?"

"Ryll." At her name, Byron's eyes flashed to Morgana's, filled with so many emotions that she couldn't read them. "She and Merlin pulled Excalibur from the stone. That triggered her memories to come back."

"I was working, just finishing up my shift when I felt a headache coming on. I blacked out for ten whole minutes before I woke up again and found I wasn't Byron the bartender but Byron the druid."

"Can you do magic?" she asked.

"I only tried a few small things, but yes."

"Ryll's magic hasn't come back yet." Morgana knew Ryll wouldn't mind her telling Byron this detail. She trusted Byron with her life, so Morgana would put her trust in him too.

"Maybe she used it all up to get us here."

"That's what she suggested. I'm not sure if that's possible. I wonder if we could find the stone you gave her – the one to channel power through. Would it have any residual power in it?" Morgana asked.

"It might but how would we find that? Did she have it on her when she…when she passed on?" he asked, unable to say 'died.'

"I don't think so. I'm not sure."

Byron's eyes wandered to the window. "I wonder… There's a shop below her flat."

"The Crystal Caves, I've seen it."

"What if it's not just a tacky tourist shop?" he said slowly. "Everything seems too perfect, too planned. Like someone placed it all here for us to find."

"What do you mean?"

"The Second Coming. What is that? Who decided that we should all come back? For what purpose?" Byron asked. "What if someone is toying with us?"

"Who? Who has the power to do that?" Morgana asked. Byron's words startled her. She didn't like being in the dark which was exactly how she'd felt since she'd met Ryll and started suspecting there was something more to her life. The idea that someone had planned this all out for them…that unsettled her more than Uther's plot to destroy magic.

"I have no idea. I don't know who would be powerful enough to do that." He furrowed his brow in thought. "The two most powerful sorcerers I know are Merlin and Ryll."

"You're not suggesting either of them had something to do with this? I mean I know Ryll's sacrifice made this possible, but she was and is in the dark as much a we are."

"Did Merlin have his memories?" Byron asked. "How would he have known to pull Excalibur?"

"Merlin never lost his memories," Morgana told him. "He wasn't reborn with us because he didn't die." Byron pondered this, expression dark. "You aren't suggesting he had something to do with this?"

"Think about it. He's the only one of us who didn't come back since he was the only one of us who didn't die. Wait…" He looked at Morgana. "Did you die?" he asked.

"I…" Morgana hesitated. Her own end was so personal. She wasn't sure she was ready to share it. "Not exactly but something happened so that I lost my memories and woke up along with the rest of you."

"But you said you got your memories back."

"I did. Let's not jump to conclusions," she said. "About Merlin. But I do have some questions for him."

"Me too. Where is he?"

"With Ryll. They're at his house. It's four hours away. I'm not sure where exactly."

"I can't just stay here working in this pub anymore," Byron said, tossing down his rag on the bar counter. "Not now that I know the truth."

"Right now I need to be here," Morgana told him. "If you want to go off and find Ryll, then call her. She can tell you how to get there. Right now I could really use an ally though."

"Last time we were allies, Ryll got hurt."

"I'm different now," Morgana told him. "I'd never hurt her and I never meant to. Right now there's a threat that could eliminate magic altogether."

"What?"

"My father. But I'm hoping I can change that."

Byron was quiet for a moment, and Morgana wasn't sure if he would help her or not. Then, "What did you have in mind?"

"I hoping I can convince him it isn't the right thing to do. He's convinced that if he destroys magic then he'll save me, but I need to show him that it isn't evil. I didn't set a good example before. I can hardly blame him for thinking that magic corrupted me, but I don't want to blame him. I want to forgive him."

"Even after all he did? All the magical people he executed?" Byron asked, tone hard. Morgana remembered that he'd had a friend who had died at Uther's hand.

"That was in our past life. If we don't start fresh here we'll just repeat the same mistakes we made before. Do you want that life again?"

"No." Byron's green eyes were determined, but they no longer held the anger they had before. "No, we need to learn from those mistakes. What do we do first?"

"First let's see if we can find that crystal," Morgana said. "Ryll might need magic, and if hers isn't working the crystal might give her something she can use."

"Then let's go," Byron said. He started toward the door and Morgana followed. Byron switched the sign to 'shut' and locked the door behind him. "Slow day anyway," he said with a shrug.

It was strange walking beside him now. Morgana was torn between the familiarity and the discordance of it. Last time they had interacted they'd been deep in a forest within the borders of Camelot. They'd had swords and horses and all that things that came with Medieval Times. Morgana was still the same person who had grown up in that time, but she hadn't forgotten Morgan and her familiarity with the modern world. It was an odd combination of belonging and feeling out of place.

When they reached the Crystal Caves, Morgana pushed the door open. A bell overhead tinkled and an older woman appeared from the backroom. "Can I help you?" she asked. She wore a crystal around her neck like a lucky charm and her fingers flashed with rings.

"We're looking for a particular crystal," Morgana said. "Pale pink in color."

"Roughly cut. It would be on a chain most likely," Byron added. He knew best as he had found the stone for Ryll.

"We have a lot of stones but I think I know the one you mean." The woman walked over to one of the glass cases and pulled out a stone. "Is this the one?" she asked.

Morgana and Byron came closer, studying the stone. Morgana looked at Byron who nodded. "That's the one," he said. There was suspicion in his tone. Morgana turned back to the old woman.

"It's been waiting for you," the woman said. "I've been keeping it safe all these years."