"What we should care about is health - reduction of morbidity and mortality. Too often, we instead pay attention to whether something is 'normal.' A hospital may spend several million dollars separating a pair of conjoined twins, even though that separation is likely to leave them worse off." Alice Dreger
Chapter 8: Visiting
The Hyuuga Dôjutsu specialist came to see me not far after Kakashi-San had gone. He was rather nice, considering he really was listening to me, thinking about the symptoms I described. He told me he couldn't risk any brain operation. He was quite sure the only way to remove the Genjutsu, aka what seemed to be the source of all my problems, was to ask another Uchiha to cancel it, since I was unable to do so by myself.
The Tenketsu block in my brain would wear thin after a time, so I was asked to watch it. They would teach the basics to Neji-San, in case broke down during a mission, but it was very unlikely. I was to see them immediately if I removed it when performing a Genjutsu, or anything else.
As soon as he left, there was a soft knock on my door.
"Yanagi-San, are you feeling well enough for a visit?" a woman voice asked.
"Yes?" I offered.
The door slid open to reveal Sasuke-Chan with a nurse. His eyes were glinting. He didn't want to show it, but I saw the worry and the relief on his features. I had scared him to death, hadn't I? The lady left us alone when I assured her I felt all right. He threw himself at me as soon as she closed the door, leaving his bag at his feet. All the air was chased from my lungs as he threw himself at me.
He was trembling, his arms all around my ribcage. I didn't remember him being so strong. He did have a bit of training after all, even though it clearly wasn't enough.
"You're hurting me a bit, Sasuke-Chan…" I groaned.
"They said you had a Genjutsu break down." He whispered. "I just thought…"
My hand went to comb his hair reassuringly. Of course he would be afraid. Even though he was the one the doctors kept the longest at the time, I was the one trapped in that filthy illusion for years.
"It's okay, I'm feeling better now." I said.
"But they haven't cured you, right? They can't do nothing more than they did at the time."
"Unfortunately…"
It had been a while since we had hugged each other that way. I didn't felt stiff and he didn't cringe at my contact. I thought it might have been the case. Not mentioning the fact, he hated that I treated him like a kid. But right now, I think we both needed that attention. I left him some place on my bed and he climbed beside me. I started rocking him, the regular motion felt good. His eyes were closed. He breathed fast.
"They say… They say I need a stronger Sharingan to break the Genjutsu." I muttered.
"A stronger Sharingan, heh…"
He drew back from me. There was a strange look in his eyes.
"There is something I haven't told you about that night." he said, looking away from me. "Will you listen?"
I nodded. He cleared his throat before plunging his eyes in mine. They were browner than mine, I thought. Shisui-Nii and me had charcoal-like eyes. Itachi-Sama's eyes were anthracite, I remembered, though I couldn't recall a precise time where I had stared in our heir's eyes. That would have been very incorrect of me.
"I didn't pass out after he put me under the Genjutsu. I managed to get up and run after him. I had apparently no value to be killed by him. Then he told me to curse and hate him, and I did. But he also said…"
I felt his hesitation. He nervously gulped. I didn't tare touching him at that moment. But only leaning on me seemed to make him feel better. But what he had said… I didn't get to know his brother much. Rather I can't remember much of this past because of this illusion in my head. Yet I did know Uchiha Itachi had a very peculiar way to convey his words. He had a talent to hide what he meant, merely hinting it in the conversation. I was almost sure he had addressed a message to his brother, one that the boy was supposed to decipher.
But in the end, it was a really cruel thing to do.
"He suggested I got the same eyes as him. He hadn't a normal Sharingan, it was a twisted one. It looked like a Fuuma Shuriken somehow. And the only way I can get it is…"
"Killing someone close to you." I finished his sentence. "I thought I was something like that in the clan's archives about something called the Mangekyô Sahringan."
"I don't want to kill anyone!" he whispered.
I put an arm around his shoulders. He wasn't crying, and I wasn't either. I hadn't shed a single tear for a while. Did I remember how it felt? When was the last time I had cried? I couldn't remember. I had been playing tough for so long…
"We are ninjas. Sometimes, we have to do something we don't like." I sighed.
"I know. But the person I would have to kill…"
"It's sick, isn't it? These eyes of ours… Just don't think about that."
His fingers clenched my shoulders as he hugged me again. I awkwardly closed mine against his frame. It hurt a bit to be honest. Neither of them let go.
"But I want to kill him, Yanagi-Nee. I want to kill him so much!"
"I know."
I closed my eyes as he pushed me away to face me. His voice was full of a contained rage.
"Don't you want that? He killed your brother as well!"
"Did he? Brother died weeks before the massacre."
"Don't lie to yourself! He had these eyes right after Shisui-Nii died! You know what that means, right?"
I clenched my fists. I believed in Itachi-Sama's words. He had assured me he hadn't killed my brother, and I had believed him. Yet, I knew the apparition of his Mangekyô Sharingan did meant he had killed my brother. Yet something kept bothering me. Where was my brother's eyes? The person who killed him also got his eyes. Itachi-Sama wouldn't have dared.
Yet how could I be so sure? Who knew what happened in our heir's head. He had killed them all, hadn't he. So why did I keep believing him about my brother. I couldn't remember that.
"That means he used his Mangekyô Sharingan after my brother was dead, that is all." I answered evenly.
"How can you stay so calm while saying this? How can you?"
"Sasuke-Chan, I too have dealt with dead people. Mother died when I was born. Father died when I was a kid. Brother was killed." I said, keeping my voice from trembling. "Somehow… somehow you get used to this…"
I looked at the window.
"Yeah, you get used to this. Because somehow, this is also the path of a ninja." I said. "It's a sad world we're living in, right?"
"Well I'm not someone who lets go like you!" he said while standing. "I'll kill that man, I'll make him pay, and together we'll restore our clan!"
I waited for him to calm down a bit. It didn't seem to work at all. He was huffing angrily next to me. I felt him trembling.
"Look at me! Look at me and tell me what you're thinking! You've never agreed with my will to kill Itachi, haven't you? Are you considering keeping him alive after all he has done?"
"I have no will to kill him." I said. "It serves no purpose."
"I knew it. In the end you're just a coward with no power. All you do is rotting in this village, dancing around with this Hyuuga boy and befriending punks like Naruto."
I stared at him, a slight frown on my face. What was he criticizing? I get he was afraid to make friends because of what Itachi-Sama had told him, but still… A disgusted smirk bloomed on his lips.
"In the end, you're just weak. You're just weak and afraid, Yanagi-Nee." he spat.
"I do not understand. Why would befriending people be bad?"
"You're losing your time. Why aren't you looking for Itachi? You have as much right to kill him as I want to. Why aren't you looking for him?"
"Sasuke-Chan, I…"
"Don't 'Sasuke-Chan' me when you're the frightened little kid!"
The anger rose in me, uncontrollable. I didn't know it had been piling up behind my mental barriers until they exploded. Chakra oozed from my body, deadly. His pupils were dilated from fear. He had troubles breathing.
"Have you finished your ranting?" I muttered. "What were you thinking, threatening me with empty words like that. You just want powers to kill your brother, and then what?"
I suddenly realized how close I was to hit my little cousin. How foolish was that? I turned my back on him, releasing him from my anger. He fell on the ground, panting hard. Was that what I had directed on Kakashi-San about an hour ago? It felt just wrong.
"There's no point talking about that." I said. "Please leave and don't come back."
"Yanagi-Nee, I…"
"Leave, I said!" I shouted.
Leave. Don't make me feel worse than right now.
I was a mess.
Such a despicable mess.
He got back on his feet, taking something from his bag. He put it on the nightstand.
"I thought you would be needing this with the nightmares, and all…" he muttered.
I looked at the camera and sighed.
"Thanks, Sasuke." I muttered. "I shouldn't have gone that mad at you. It's just that… I wish there was another way than killing your brother. It won't bring anyone back, you know."
He grunted. I looked at the window again.
"So yeah, what I really want from your brother are answers. Then after I'll know what to do."
Couldn't he see the implications? The village wouldn't want our bloodline to disappear, and Itachi-Sama was one of our best ninjas. They would probably ask me to avoid having children with Sasuke-Chan. Even though we were cousins, it would mean having consanguineous offspring for our descendants. The safest bet would be that Itachi-Sama had children as well. Considering that I would need him to solve my Genjutsu problem, I would probably have to…
"There's something I would like to talk to you, when I get better…" I said to the boy. "The Village wants me to become a Chuunin sooner than I thought. Once I get promoted, I could probably get a mission outside the village and get some info about him."
He nodded, mutely. I saw the fear in his eyes. Things were moving way too fast. After Sasuke-Chan left the room, I laid on my bed. Eyes wide open, I looked at the ceiling. This was such a twisted word we lived in, sending people to their death for money…
Someone knocked at the door. I told them to come in. It wasn't a nurse. I didn't know that boy. He seemed a bit older than me, maybe one year or two. He had a thin face, long silver hair tied in a ponytail and round glasses. I straightened myself.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"I'm a doctor in training. I was just checking if you were feeling all right." he said with a smile.
I eyed him warily. He seemed so tell the truth. He had that ugly white outfit the doctors wore generally. But why wasn't he alone? A trainee left alone to check on patients. It seemed wrong, given the fact I had been checked by the Hyuuga optometrist an hour ago.
He walked to me. The smell of antiseptics and bleach came to my nose. I cringed a bit. There was a bit of plant in the mix as well. I couldn't tell what it was, but it added a faint sweet note to the fragrance. My nose was definitely bad, though I wouldn't have identified the components if it hadn't been for Kakashi-Sensei. Nonetheless, I felt my body relax.
Why was I relaxing? I didn't know that guy!
"Don't come closer." I snapped as he took the chart by the end of the bed. "I don't believe your lies."
"Calm down" he said with a soothing voice, and I got up. "I'm just here to see you're all right."
My Sharingan spun in my eyes. Did he think he could do as he pleased?
"Identify yourself!" I ordered, remembering how Tekka-San had showed me how to intimidate someone before. "This is an order."
"Calm down, pretty lady." he laughed.
His hand went near my face in a flash. I parred it with no problem, someone had thought of taking my weights off. His eyes widened slightly. He was surprised. He had been underestimating me. I felt his finger trail on my skin.
"I was told Hyuuga girls were the most beautiful of Konoha. They were wrong." he purred. "I am Yakushi Kabuto, milady. You might want to remember my name."
"I don't want anything from you." I answered.
My voice was steady. In dangerous situations, the worse you could do was getting emotional. I was keeping my disgust at bay. His eyes were seeing everything of me, analysing me, gauging me like a piece of meat.
"But I want everything of you." he muttered. "Especially those pretty eyes of yours."
He made a step forward, his hands trying to grab me. I went faster than he anticipated. Actually I went faster than I had anticipated: I wasn't wearing my weights anymore. He was still smiling at me. I saw the twitch of his muscles right before he made his jump. I glided on my right. What was his game?
"I was the one who kept you stable until the Hyuuga meds came. You were so beautiful. The way you looked at me without looking. I felt a connexion."
I blinked, still evading him. The dreamy look in his eyes was even creepier.
"I do not recall you face. Now If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna tell the nurses how much of a nuisance you are."
"You would? How inconvenient…" he said. "Just when I was telling you about our fated meeting. I think it's love at first sight."
I was surprised by his retort. I couldn't tell if It was the smell of plants around him that I had been breathing, or simply because I was blushing madly, but I couldn't move. He lunged at me, pushing me against the wall. His body was brushing mine, without touching it. The sweet scent was everywhere.
"Seems like I'm making your head spin." he chuckled.
"What is your game?" I whispered, feigning to be even weaker.
He turned my head to face me.
"I just want to share the life of the last Uchiha girl, what else?" he muttered while plunging his eyes into mine.
"Liar…"
I immediately activated a Genjutsu. Pain erupted in his brain and he gasped and fell on the floor. I looked at him writhing without an ounce of empathy. I didn't have much strength. What did he have me breathe? Why trying to seduce me? I didn't understand.
I kept looking in his eyes, trying to find the data I needed. He hadn't lied about his identity: he really was named Kabuto and was a trainee doctor. And he really seemed to have twisted feeling about me. Right, now I got a creepy guy that was in love with me! I looked deeper. He had to have an ulterior motive. There was no way anyone could like me because of my looks. That probably meant he needed me for power.
I was the last Uchiha girl? There was something in that statement…
"That's enough for now." he said.
I hadn't noticed him stop to feel pain. It wasn't right. I was still sending the right signals in his brain, and he hadn't disrupted the illusion. I tried to stop leaning on the wall, but it proved impossible.
"You're better than I thought! It will be even better!" he smirked before getting on his feet. "See you around, milady!"
His hand caressed my face. It glowed a bit green and my vision blurred. And then he was gone.
Mere seconds after I heard someone opening the door. I blinked. Why was I standing again? I felt sore and I had difficulties moving. I was thirsty too. And why had I turned my Sharingan on? It was with these questions that I felt myself falling forward.
Tenten caught me before I hit the ground.
"Easy girl!" she told me. "Don't you think you're doing too much?"
I leaned on her until she helped me sit on the bed. Once I was back inside, she sighed in relief. I had frightened her. Lee-San had been kind enough to prevent her of my injuries.
"I swear someday you're going to die on me." She sighed.
"I don't think so. Seems Kami-Sama had given me the means to survive." I grunted.
"Yeah, whatever you say. Still you're training way too much. We practically don't see each other, except for training. We could do something else, like, I don't know…"
"Studying in the library?" I suggested.
"That's your twisted way of having fun! I'm talking about real fun, non-tiring fun!"
"I can assure you that reading is…"
"I was thinking of taking tea together, or eating sweets!"
"But that's the civilian way of fun." I pouted. "Training is the ninja equivalent to the civilians taking a drink."
"… you're spending way too much time with Neji and Lee." she deadpanned.
I gave her a blank stare.
"Don't try denying it."
"Okay, I'll admit Lee-San's a bit extreme in his training. But Neji-San puts the right amount of work, I think. And I suppose I have trained a bit too much recently, hence my presence in this room."
"I get why they have put training freaks in the same team."
"In the same team, yeah…" I sighed.
I stretched and yawned, finally able to move in these covers. I still couldn't get why I felt so numb. I hadn't been with Kakashi-San nor Sasuke-Chan. I probably had tried to do too much with my body too soon.
"Are you hiding something, Uchiha Yanagi?" Tenten asked.
"The Council apparently wants me to take the Chuunin exam this December."
She whistled, impressed. A dry smile bloomed on my lips.
"You shouldn't be that impressed", I told her. "That would mean dismantling our current team. The way I see it, the Council wants the village to look good while using me."
"Well, you are exceptionally good." she said. "You've slowed down since it happened, but you've always been like a super ninja."
"Humour me." I sarcastically replied.
"I really mean it! You used to be more lively and all, even though your step family treated you like crap. I think your crazy training habits come from that time."
I raised a brow. She wasn't the first one to refer to what I had been before the Massacre. Had I really been that different at the time?
"Did I change… that much?" I asked, unsure of the answer.
The brown-eyed girl was thoughtful for a while. She was reflecting on her answer at the time.
"How can I put it into words… You were like, super popular, you know? Smart, gifted and you gave off that warm feeling, unlike all the Uchiha I know. Like your little cousin. I went past him in the hallway, and I swear to Kami he looked like he had a bunch of chili pepper inside his pants."
"Tenten!" I laughed, falsely shocked.
"He too had changed. You were often together, you know. Probably because your brothers were rivals or something, I think you had mentioned that. He was like this adorable boy. You were like overprotective of each other, snapping at boys and girls who wanted to approach you."
I closed my eyes. Yes, maybe I recalled something like that. Not clearly, but I remember being more than this quiet bookish girl who read next her silent little cousin. If we had seemingly been like revolving stars before, we now were like ticking bombs, checking who would burst first.
The door slid open violently and we both jumped.
"How are you fairing in your youthlessness, Yanagi!" Lee-San shouted.
I was ready to jump out of the bed, wary. I blinked. For half a second I thought I saw a teenager wearing glasses and a lab coat, but it was probably my imagination.
"Lee! Keep your voice down, we're in the hospital!" Tenten scolded him at the same moment Neji-San elbowed him.
I smiled, slightly amused by the scene.
"Tenten! I haven't seen you here! How are you doing?" Lee-San said, and Neji-San merely nodded to acknowledge the girl's presence.
"I'm good," she said. "The Corps are dull, but I might be lucky and find two teammates and a Jounin to form a squad with."
It might even be sooner that she thought. I might talk to Gai-Sensei. Tenten was about the only girl I knew who could cope with Lee-San and Neji-San in the same room. I looked at my teammates. Now could be a good time to say it.
"You know, Tenten, you might want to take my place in Team 9." I said.
"What?" Lee-San and her exclaimed, while Neji-San frowned.
"Are you leaving the team?" he asked. "That would explain your unusual amount of training."
"Hah! I told you!" Tenten exclaimed.
"Shut up!" I pouted. "Yes, it seems like I will soon be placed in another team, in order to prepare for the Chuunin exam in next December."
"How impressive! That's Yanagi for you!"
"Only in four months?" Neji-San mused. "Think you can accomplish it with that chakra control of yours?"
"Stop boasting about that! It's not because you were able to do the tree-walk thingy before me that you're better than me." I complained.
"That's a nostalgic sight." Tenten smiled.
I tilted my head on the side. What was nostalgic?
"You used to always complain about his skills in class, right before asking Mizuki-Sensei why we couldn't spar with boys." she explained.
"I did?" I asked before pausing. "Well, that sounds like me, 'cause Neji-San really got on my nerves when we were at the Academy. We got better after we got teamed up."
Neji-San looked at me intently. Lee-San sat down on the last available chair.
"You suffered memory loss from the Academy days?" the green-clad boy asked. "I thought you just didn't like talking of your past with us, that's all!"
"It's not like I don't remember, rather than not thinking of the past helps me not thinking of…"
I shuddered.
"Isn't it dangerous?" Neji-San asked. "They agreed to let you become a ninja?"
"I have regular check-ups with a Yamanaka doctor. She says it's not a handicap to the fight."
"But you're doing better, right?" Tenten said. "You said you did?"
"As long as I don't exhaust myself. If I do, they just come to mind. It's not like I don't remember the past, rather than when I think of it I'm bound to recall unwanted memories after a while."
"Gai-Sensei says there's an ideal amount of training for everyone! Maybe you haven't found yours?"
"Yeah, but with the stress of the Chuuning exam, and the fact we'd be separated…"
My voice trailed. I wanted to look away from them, but they were all around me. Neji-San was leaning near the door frame. He had a glint in his eyes, not an angry one. I thought he wanted to tell something, but he didn't. Maybe he wanted to wait.
"Like I said before, you've always been some kind of training freak."
"You're just not training enough. That's the reason why you're in the Corps and not in an actual Genin team." Neji-San explained.
I gritted my teeth. Tenten addressed the Hyuuga an unimpressed look.
"You haven't changed at all, do you? You're still the same old fashioned git you've always been!"
"I'm just being realistic. It was fate that we were placed in the same team and you weren't."
"Neji-San, I'd advise you to watch your words. You know I had never liked you using the f word."
"F word…" Lee-San thought before turning to Neji-San. "That's weird, I've never seen you use the word 'fuck' much Neji-San!"
Tenten and I facepalmed at the same moment.
"I think I'm gonna leave you three alone." the girl sighed. "I hope we can see each other in a booth with green tea and dango, not on a training field next time."
I nodded distractedly. I knew another person who was fond of geen tea and dango, and well I couldn't allow this thought to go further away.
"Yeah, let's talk about how I became so badass you can't handle it anymore." I joked.
"Train freak!" she called before exiting the room.
I gestured for Neji-San to sit down on the chair she had freed, but he declined. He was fine leaning against the window. I wasn't. I think he knew that quirk I had: I always looked away when I was embarrassed, often by the window.
"So… When had you intended to tell us about this change of team?" Lee-San asked.
"Hum… I kinda wanted to postpone the thing. You know… to enjoy being with you as a Genin the longest possible?" I offered, upset I couldn't look away from them like I wanted to.
"I'm quite sure you'll become a Chuunin." Neji-San said.
"Thanks? I guess…"
"Yanagi, you've always been a fast learner. I thought we could have taken the exam together, but we couldn't." Lee-San said. "That's a bit disappointing, you know?"
"I'm really sorry about that. I would have like that very much, but I wasn't exactly given the choice. One day you were sparring, Gai-Sensei told me the Council had decided that. That is probably a politic scheme given that I am the last Uchiha girl alive."
We spent the last of the afternoon discussing, something we had rarely done as a team. Lee-San was an enthusiastic talker, and even though his ideas often led to talk about youthful things, he was able to reason pretty well. I liked the way Neji-San always found the way to take things calmly. He analysed things rather deeply. A shame he was often thinking of things as fated. I too was thinking and talking, not much, and I guess I could have gone a bit more emotive.
When the nurses asked them to leave the room, they waved me goodbye. Right when he was about to close the door, Neji-San looked at me again.
"When you said you had troubles remembering your past at the Academy, it's more like the people you don't remember, right?"
"Well Tenten said I was rather popular, and I think I was trying to befriend most of the class. Of course I've always considered you as a rival."
"Always?"
"Well we were both from powerful clans and close enough to the main family, so I'd naturally be competitive, right? Was it something I should have remembered in particular?"
He looked embarrassed at these words. I swore his upper cheeks had this dusty pink shade of embarrass.
"No, nothing at all. That's probably just me. See you around."
Wasn't he being a tiny bit out of character? Nah, that was probably my own imagination. My mind was cloudy all right. It was such a mess. I should reorganise it. And with this chakra block I felt like I was free to do lots of things.
That was until I met my new team, and my new instructor.
Hello everyone!
I thought I would give you a nice Christmas present (yet I am a little bit late, sorry...)
I hope you've spent a better Eve than I did :)
Anyway, the next chapters are gonna be a bit hard to write, but I'll try my best!
StrawberryObsession: I'm glad you like Yanagi. I talked a bit of the survival of the Kekkei Genkai in this chapter, didn't I. Don't hesitate asking questions :)
spicyrash: It's good to see you like her interactions (even though she's not the best at sociable stuff)
Guest: I put a bit of Tenten in that chapter. Happy?
Don't forget to review (a late chistmas present for me?)
See ya!
