Author's Note: Sorry for taking so long to update. I've been applying for full time jobs which is stressful and then I got a really bad cold resulting in lots of coughing and apathy. But I'm trying to get things together again. I'm working on the next chapter now, so hopefully I can get back to posting once a week. Thank you as always for reading!


-Twenty-Four-

A World Without Magic

After Merlin filled the bath for Arthur in the guest bathroom (old habits die hard, he told Ryll), he sat next to her by the fire, taking her hand without speaking. It felt so natural like hundreds of years hadn't stretched on between their last meeting. Giving into instinct, Ryll drew her knees up onto the couch and curled into Merlin's side. He put his arm around her and held her tight.

"I missed you," he breathed, the pain resonating in his voice.

"I'm here now. You don't ever have to miss me again because I'm not going anywhere," Ryll promised him.

"I'm afraid I'm going to wake up and this will all have been a dream. Ouch!" he hissed the next moment when Ryll pinched him. "What was that for?"

She smiled innocently. "You're not dreaming. Besides, no one could dream up something as bizarre as King Arthur bathing upstairs in your house."

"True." Merlin's smile faded after a second, and he grew serious again. "You know what was the worst part of living all these years?"

"What?" She was almost afraid to hear it. It'd been easy for her. She'd been dead. The pain had been taken away from her and left in Merlin's own heart.

"The worst part was not knowing how many years I still had to be alone but also knowing that an eternity is far too long to be alone," Merlin told her. "There were times…times when things got rough, when I didn't think I could keep going on alone. There were other times where I thought I should just move on with my life. But there was always that hope." He turned his eyes on her, and Ryll noticed for the first time how very old they looked. They were still the same shining blue, but there was also something faded behind them. A haunted look that could only come from the passing years. "Always that hope that you'd come back to me."

Later that night when Ryll lay in bed trying to fall asleep she kept hearing Merlin's words over and over. There were times when things got rough, when I didn't think I could keep going on alone… She couldn't take those years away from him. They might move on, make the life for themselves that they'd always wanted, but it wouldn't be the same. Ryll didn't know if she wanted to pick up right where they'd left off or not. She knew it wasn't possible but part of her ached to go back to how it had been. She'd been cheated out of her first life – no, not cheated. She'd died to save Merlin and she hadn't regretted that once. If he had died and she had lived then she would have had his life – alone, always looking for a glint of hope. At least until she died of old age or a broken heart. If she hadn't died, then the Second Coming might not have ever happened.

But even now I can't keep my promise to Merlin. Merlin was immortal. She didn't even have her magic anymore. Their time together was limited. It was only a matter of time before he had to watch her die again, until he was alone and this time for good. After the eternity he'd lived, her lifetime would be nothing.

Ryll didn't realize she was crying until a hot tear rolled off her nose. The pillow was already soaked underneath her face and she started sobbing. She buried her face in the pillow to muffle the sound. The guestroom was across the hall and Merlin was sleeping downstairs on the couch so no one would hear her. Her whole body began to shake, and she felt sick to her stomach from the effort of trying to hold her sobs back. She started a moment later when a warm hand touched her back. She turned to find Merlin standing there as if he'd known she needed him. He climbed into the bed next to her and pulled her into his chest. He said nothing, but Ryll felt instantly better, her tears subsiding and the wracking sobs melting into tremors.

"Will I die again?" she asked shakily. "Will I grow old while you live on forever? Will I leave you alone again?"

"I don't know," Merlin said. "I wish I had the answer, but I do know that spending one lifetime with you is worth all the years alone." This made Ryll's tears begin again, but Merlin wiped them away. "We'll find a way to be together forever," he told her, kissing her forehead. "I promise."

He stayed with her, and she finally fell asleep, worn out from her crying. When she woke up in the morning, she was still nestled in his arms while he slept, black hair sticking up in all directions. She smiled, reaching up to brush her fingers through his hair. He stirred, opening his eyes and grinning at her. "I could get used to this," he said. "Waking up next to you."

"Beats the couch. You really didn't have to sleep down there."

"I might not then."

"Good."

They heard movement in the bathroom across the hall – Arthur was awake. "I'll get breakfast and coffee going," Merlin said, stretching his arms and tossing his feet over the side of the bed. "Waffles or pancakes?"

"Waffles. We've got to get Arthur into this new century with the proper breakfast."

"Couldn't agree more."

Ryll watched Merlin go, not quite wanting to leave the warmth of the bed yet but also not wanting to be separated from him for too long. She went over to her suitcase and pulled out fresh clothes before making the bed and heading downstairs. She met Arthur outside the guest room door where he was pulling at the T-shirt Merlin had loaned him.

"This is much softer than my old clothes and they were finely made," he said. "And these trousers…what do you call them again?" He plucked at the fabric, frowning.

"Jeans."

"They're very unusual."

"I wouldn't start with that if you're having a conversation with someone – anyone – about fashion these days," she told him with a sly grin.

"Right, well, do I look like I fit in?" he asked, holding his arms out so she could inspect him. It was so odd having King Arthur asking her opinion on his clothes, but Ryll smothered a laugh and gave him a critical look.

"Honestly, walk out that door and all the girls will be falling at your feet." Arthur scowled at her. "You look fine," she told him. "And we'll keep the girls at bay. You do have your wedding band on still."

Arthur looked down at the ring, and Ryll could see his happiness slipping. She mentally kicked herself for bringing up Gwen. "Hey, we're going to find her. For now let's get you adjusted to this world starting with breakfast."

Arthur followed her downstairs where they were met with the smells of cooking breakfast foods and brewing coffee. "You've probably never had coffee," Ryll said. "You're in for a treat."

"It smells wonderful whatever it is," Arthur said.

"You drink it like tea only it's stronger. You'll like it." She poured him a cup and handed it to him, watching as he took a tentative sip.

"That's delicious," he said a moment later. "A little bitter but I like the flavor."

"You'll find all foods and beverages have improved significantly over the past hundreds of years."

"And my cooking," Merlin added with a grin, pulling the waffle iron open and serving up two plates of steaming waffles and bacon to Arthur and Ryll. He added more batter while Ryll suggested Arthur add butter and syrup.

"You can also add jam if you'd like," she said, digging through Merlin's refrigerator and finding a strawberry jam. "They're basically bread made of batter and way more fun than the mush we had in Camelot."

Arthur dug in, savoring the taste, and Ryll could tell how pleased Merlin was that Arthur now enjoyed his cooking. "I can teach you how to make some meals if you'd like," he suggested to Arthur as he joined them. "It's a lot easier. You just go to the supermarket to get fresh meat and vegetables and fruit instead of going out to hunt or collect. I do have a vegetable patch and some fruit trees in the back though."

"Who…collects this food then?" Arthur asked.

"Well there are different farms and companies that grow and produce food. People hunt more for sport these days. Most of the meat in stores is fish, poultry, pork, or beef. The store sells it along with other necessities like soap and cleaning supplies and other stuff you might use around the house. There are a lot of different stores out there. You can buy just about anything. I'll take you shopping later if you feel like it."

"I don't know, is he ready for canned soup and express lines?" Ryll asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"We'll break him in slowly," Merlin promised with a sly grin.

"So how long have you lived here?" Ryll asked. "I don't even know what this town is called."

"Forest Ridge, and I've lived here five years now. I…moved around a lot. I guess I had a hard time finding somewhere to call home. I can take you around the town after breakfast if you're up for a walk. Both of you," he suggested.

"You two go," Arthur told him. "I can clean up the dishes."

Merlin and Ryll looked at Arthur. Merlin's mouth hung open. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"I think I can handle it," Arthur said. "Water, soap, dishes."

"Okay," Merlin said a little hesitantly. "Thank you."

"You have a lot to catch up on," Arthur told them. "I'll have plenty of time to learn more about automobes and…modern people."

"Automobiles, but you're right. Make yourself at home. I've got plenty of books in the library on history or there's the TV. You remember how to work the remote, right?" Merlin asked.

"I've ruled a kingdom, I think I can figure out the talking box," Arthur told him. "You go take your walk and leave the cleanup to me."

Merlin and Ryll pushed their dishes toward him. Ryll thought Merlin looked the tiniest bit smug and noticed he didn't tell Arthur about the dishwasher, just showed him where the dish soap was and showed him how to plug the sink. He beamed at her, holding out a hand, and they left by the front door. Ryll stood for a moment letting the morning sun soak her face. The front yard opened up onto a street that led straight down past neat brick-fronted homes with well-kept lawns. There was a sort of peacefulness that lay over the town, and she could see why Merlin had chosen this place for his home. She felt Merlin's warm hand slip into hers and smiled.

"Shall we?" he asked. She nodded and let him lead her down the drive and onto the sidewalk. Straight down the residential street led into the commercial district where quaint shops lined the street. No one seemed to notice them, and Merlin told her he'd kept a quiet presence in the town for the years he'd lived there. It made her sad to think of him wiling away his time alone.

"You're enjoying the thought of Arthur washing the dishes, aren't you?" she asked as they reached the waterfront. They leaned over the railing by the docks.

"Just a little," Merlin said, a satisfied smile on his lips. "But I feel for him too, of course. This isn't an easy transition. He's handling it well so far, but I can see him struggling with his role in this world. It's not Camelot."

"What about magic?" Ryll asked, turning to look at Merlin. He kept his gaze ahead as she continued. "When did it start to fail? When did you have to start hiding who you were again?" It was a sad thought. They'd worked so hard to get to the point when they didn't have to hide their magic anymore but now they lived in a world that would not only persecute magic but didn't believe in it in the first place. It was a world that feared anything outside the realm of normalcy.

"After awhile those with magic ran scarce in Camelot," Merlin told her. "There were druids, yes, but even they, after a few generations, grew scarce. I think people forgot the old ways. After awhile it became legend and then myth. The new world began to fear such things. People thought of magic as the devil's work. I learned to hide it again. I'd had plenty of practice growing. It came easily to me again." He sighed softly. "It wasn't like I had anyone to share it with anymore. Sometimes I thought it might be easier just to be normal. There wasn't really a need for magic anymore."

"It must have felt like losing part of your identity though." Was that how she felt now without the use of her magic? Like Merlin had said, there wasn't really a need for it anymore.

"Maybe at first. After awhile I realized maybe it was time for a new identity."

"And now that Arthur is back? Now where does that leave you?" she asked him.

He finally turned to look at her. "I don't know," he replied. "I honestly don't know anymore. Uther is trying to destroy magic, but what he doesn't realize is that the natural progression of time has already started to do that."

"There is still magic out there. Without it, I would never have been reborn. That has to count for something."

Merlin took her hands, the corners of his eyes wrinkling as he frowned. "Of course it does," he told her. "It means everything. I'm just wondering if it was magic's way of saying goodbye. It's grand finale. Maybe that was the end of it."

"But you still have magic. It's still a part of you. Right?"

"Yes, I still have magic." Merlin looked down at their hands. "I just don't have a use for it."

"You don't think you do, but we don't know anything right now. There might come a time very soon where we'll need your magic. We're going to save it anyway, not let it die. I don't believe magic is over with. I don't believe it can ever die. Not while we still live."

"I'm glad one of us is still optimistic," Merlin said. "Maybe I'm getting too old for optimism."

"Maybe, but I came back didn't I? If I can come back then so can magic." She hoped she was right. She had no idea how to fix it. She felt as if a part of her hadn't woken up yet.

"We keep talking about it like it's supposed to come back, but what if the world would be better off without magic? Do you know what people who believe in magic are called these days? Crazy. Cults. A sorcerer is some made up person who only lives in books and movies and fairy tales. There's never going to be a place for us in this world. Why should we try to make one?"

"Because it's who we are. We can't change that and we shouldn't have to," Ryll protested.

"But where can we practice magic?" Merlin asked. "Behind locked doors with the curtains shut tight? We no longer live in a world filled with magic."

"Then I don't know." Ryll reached a hand up to touch his face. "I want to live in a world with you. If it doesn't have magic, then so be it. We don't need it to be happy."

Merlin leaned into her touch. "No," he said softly, but she could hear the doubt in his voice. He wanted to believe that, but magic was a big part of who he was. He might no longer see a place for it in the world, but that didn't mean he was ready to let it go.

"That's not the answer you were thinking," she told him. "I just don't want you to lose hope. I could get used to being normal if that's what we have to do. Liz did okay."

Merlin gave the blue strand of hair a gentle tug. "Mostly okay." His eyes glowed amber for a second, and Ryll grabbed her hair and gasped.

"You got rid of it!" Her hair was flawless honey blonde now, no blue in sight.

"But I left your ring," he told her as if that made up for it.

She gave him a playful push. "You are just behind the times," she told him.

"Well I am ancient. Maybe I'm too old for such radical hair colors."

"You're not too old for anything," she told him. "Don't think of yourself as old. This is our second chance. Don't go into it feeling the weight of all the years." Maybe it was an impossible hope, but she wished she could still see that glint in his eyes, half mischievous, half hopeful. Now all she saw was a seriousness that came with having witnessed so many years and so many sorrows.

"You make me feel young again," he told her. "Like we're back in Camelot and I haven't seen the world go on without you."

"It's really working. Your wrinkles and grey hair is receding," Ryll teased him, pretending to search for grey hairs. His hair was black as ever though, and he shook his head at her.

"I could make myself look old and grey, but then people might start to wonder what a woman as beautiful and young as yourself is doing around a dawdling old man. They'll think I'm your grandfather."

"Well we can't have that. I don't want them to stare when I do this." She leaned up and kissed him softly. When she pulled away a moment later, his eyes were closed, and he did look younger.

"Is that all I get?" he asked, opening one eye a bit to give her a look.

"I don't know. Are people staring?" she pretended to look around, but Merlin hooked his arm around her waist and pulled her into him, pressing his lips into hers in a much more passionate kiss than before. This one lasted longer, and Ryll could feel all the aching pain from the years Merlin had spent waiting for her along with the happiness he felt at their reunion.

"I can be happy in this world with you and only you," Merlin told her when he finally pulled away. "You're all I want, magic or no magic."

"Then you have me," she said. "Let's quit relying on other things to make our lives perfect. Let's quit allowing other people to get in the way of our happiness. It's our time to live."

"Then maybe we let things happen however they will," Merlin said, and she could tell though he meant it, it took a great deal for him to say it. "Maybe we quit interfering."

"Maybe this time it isn't up to us."

Merlin laughed a little as he spoke. "Seems a little presumptuous of us to think we have a role to play in everything."

"Well, destiny and all. You did have a dragon whispering something about that in your ear an awful lot before."

"I suppose you're right. There are no dragons in this time, however. Just a lot of unanswered questions." He brushed his fingernail against the grain of the wood, leaning an elbow on the railing. Ryll turned to face the sea, enjoying the warm breeze that tugged at her hair. It already felt like home, and she found she didn't want to leave the little town. She was tired of quests, tired of questions, tired of suspicions. She just wanted to live.

"We should get back," Merlin said, interrupting her thoughts. He held out a hand, and she took it. "We don't want Arthur burning down the house or something."

Ryll smiled. "Who knows, maybe he decided to mop or dust or something."

"The Second Coming might be about second chances, but let's not take things too far," he told her. "No one said anything about miracles."