Part Three: Second Coming

-Twenty-Nine-

The Darkness Within

Morgana stepped into a forest that felt just as real as the one she'd once ridden through in Camelot. A stiff breeze turned the leaves over above her head, and she could hear a river running somewhere in the distance. It was quiet but not a peaceful quiet; the sort of quiet that might break at any moment. If this was her test, she wasn't sure what she was being tested on.

"Morgana." She turned around sharply and found herself facing someone she never thought she'd see again. A woman stood between the trees where the crystal had once stood. She had long, dark hair like Morgana's and the same hazel eyes.

"Mother?" Morgana asked, her voice hardly above a whisper. Her mother's skin was pale as death and there was something off about her eyes as she gazed at Morgana.

"My daughter." Vivienne reached out a hand toward Morgana.

Morgana reached out and took her hand. It was cold and clammy, and Morgana had to force herself not to pull back. "I have so many questions," she said.

Vivienne smiled sadly. "And so little time to ask them."

"What do you mean?" Morgana looked around them but all was silent and still. Time didn't seem to have a presence here and yet she felt it pressing in on her all the same.

"This is an in between land. Those who come do not stay long or they do not leave at all," Vivienne warned. "What are your questions?"

"Where do I start?" Morgana sighed, turning away from her mother and gathering her thoughts. "Do you have magic? Are you like me?"

"Well you certainly didn't get it from your father," Vivienne said with a laugh.

"No. I don't suppose I did. Why did you have an affair with him? Uther of all people." Morgana wasn't trying to judge her mother but the question had been lingering on her mind ever since she'd discovered Uther was her biological father. She'd never had the chance to learn the truth of why her mother had been with Uther.

Vivienne bowed her head, perhaps in shame. Morgana waited for her answer. "I was staying at the castle," she said. "I was lonely. I suppose he seemed such a great man at the time…"

"It took me nearly twenty years to learn the truth. I overheard him speaking. He wasn't going to tell me. He didn't treat me like a daughter. If he had known about my magic, who knows what he might have done to me."

"I didn't mean for things to play out the way they did." Vivienne took a step toward Morgana. Her eyes were glossy as she gazed at her daughter. "I wanted you to be safe. I didn't realize you'd become Uther's ward after Gorlois and I died."

"Yes, I became his ward. Not his daughter, not his heir, but his ward." The bitterness in her tone surprised her. She thought she had moved past the bitterness, but it was still there. It still hurt to think of all those years living with no real idea of her identity.

"I never meant to leave you," Vivienne told her.

"If you had lived, if I had grown up with a mother and a father, would you have taught me how to use magic?" Morgana asked. She needed to know.

Vivienne's eyes grew sad. "Your father did not know I had magic. I'm not sure what he would have done if he had found out…"

"So you would have kept it hidden from me? Or perhaps taught me in secret, kept me locked away. Do you know how alone I felt? All those years fearing who I was, not understanding. I had no one to confide in until Morgause came into my life and suddenly I had a sister." Her voice was rising now as her emotions overwhelmed her. "What would you have wanted?" she asked, quietly now. "Did you want your daughters to grow up with so much hatred? So much fear?"

"Of course not," Vivienne said. "I wanted what was best for you, for both of you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. Morgause…" She turned away, gazing off into the distance. "She let her passion overwhelm her. She thought what she was doing was right."

"But it wasn't?" Morgana needed to hear her mother's answer, but Vivienne just shook her head. "Was what we did wrong? When we were hunted, our kind persecuted?"

"You already know the answer to that question," Vivienne said.

Morgana looked away, ashamed. "I know it was wrong. It didn't get us what we wanted and the cost was too high. Morgause shouldn't have died that way and I shouldn't have turned against my friends. I was hurt and alone but that doesn't excuse my actions. Is this part of the test? Is this where I bare my sins and ask for forgiveness?" she asked.

"Your friends have already forgiven you. It's you who must forgive yourself now." Vivienne turned to look over her shoulder. "The trials are about to begin," she told Morgana in a hushed voice. "You must ready yourself."

"What do you mean?" Morgana asked.

Vivienne shook her head wildly. "I must go. They mustn't find me here." She grabbed Morgana's shoulders, her fingers biting into her skin. "Stay true to yourself," she told her before letting go and disappearing between the trees before Morgana could speak.

There was rustling in the woods around Morgana the moment her mother left. Morgana whirled around, but all she could see were darting shadows drawing nearer. A branch cracked behind her, and she turned quickly. Before she could see what had snuck up on her, something hard hit the back of her head and she fell to the ground, the moss damp against her cheek. Her vision was blurred, but she could see a shape looming above her. Her eyes blinked shut.

Morgana awoke to find herself in a familiar bed. It had been years – centuries really – but she was back in her old room in Camelot. She sat up, looking around her. How could she be here? This didn't exist anymore. Then she remembered the caves. Her own reflection had told her she would be tested. She'd spoken to her dead mother. Morgana tried to push back her fear and panic, but she didn't understand what was happening or why she was here. As her emotions rose, she felt a new sensation – her magic spiraling out of control. Fire suddenly lit the candles around her room and the flames shot straight into the air. The curtains around her four-poster bed and the windows caught fire. Morgana screamed. She tried to tamp down her powers, but she couldn't control them.

Someone flung the door open, calling out her name. Gwen. She was dressed like a servant, and she hurried to Morgana's side despite the flames and pulled her from the bed. "We need to get out of here," she said, urging Morgana on. "Guards!"

Three guards ran into the room. One grabbed a vase from the table and flung the flowers out before sloshing the water over the curtains. The others went to find more water, but Gwen pulled Morgana away.

"Are you all right?" she asked Morgana. The worry in her eyes – the care. It undid Morgana and she started to sob. "Morgana?" Gwen's eyes widened in surprise and she pulled her into a hug. "You're all right."

Morgana tried to stop her tears, pulling herself together. "I'm sorry," she told Gwen once she had control of her voice again. "I just…the flames frightened me." In reality she was terrified. She didn't understand why she was here or what she was supposed to do. She didn't know if this was real or a memory or a dream.

"Are you hurt?" Gwen asked.

Morgana shook her head. "Just startled. Gwen…" She paused, not knowing how to continue. "I'm just glad you're here. Thank you for being such a kind friend."

"Of course," Gwen said, sounding a little surprised. "Do you know what happened?"

Morgana paused. She could say she didn't know or that the candle had gotten too close to the curtains. Or she could tell Gwen the truth. Her heart was pounding now. This couldn't be real… She'd already lived this. She'd already lied and hidden the truth. She knew how that turned out. What if this was a turning point? What if this was her chance to change her future?

"Can I talk to you?" she asked.

"Of course. Shall we go to one of the spare rooms?"

"First I'd like to get Merlin and Ryll. It's something I need to tell them too."

Instead of telling Morgana it was the middle of the night, Gwen simply nodded. "I'll get Merlin," she said.

"I'll get Ryll. We'll meet in her room." Ryll knew of her fore dreams but not her magic at this point if Morgana was remembering correctly. Her past was a patchwork of secrets and deceit, and she found it was hard to keep it clear. She knocked on Ryll's door and heard shuffling within a moment later. Ryll opened the door. Her long, golden hair was pulled into a messy braid and though it looked as if she'd just woken, her eyes were alert.

"Morgana. What's wrong?" she asked, pulling the door open to let Morgana in.

"Merlin and Gwen will be here in a few minutes. There's something I need to tell all of you," Morgana said.

Ryll didn't question her. She just took it in stride, nodding. She motioned for Morgana to take a seat at her dressing table. They were silent as they waited and a thought wormed its way into Morgana's head. What if this was reality and everything that happened after was a fore dream? A long, elaborate fore dream. What if none of it had happened yet and this was the turning point?

"Ryll?" Morgana turned to her friend. "Do you ever get the feeling that something isn't real?"

"All the time. Sometimes I hardly believe the way my life has turned out."

"It's not that…" Morgana paused, gathering her thoughts. "What if I've seen my entire future in a dream? How am I supposed to know what's real? That doesn't even make sense…"

Ryll furrowed her brow. "You think you've seen your future? Beyond the little bits you get in your fore dreams?"

"What if I told you I've lived my future and this moment right here is a repeat in history? Well, not this exact one because I've changed it. Before I didn't come to your room. Before I didn't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you and Merlin and Gwen. Does that sound crazy?" She felt crazy. She felt like she was losing her grasp on reality.

Before Ryll had the chance to reply, there was a tap on the door and Gwen and Merlin entered. "Gwen said you have something you want to tell us?" Merlin said. He joined Ryll on the edge of her bed. Gwen hovered by the door.

"There's something I need to tell all of you because if I don't our lives go down a very different path. I've just discovered something about myself…" It felt odd starting over again but she hadn't known she had magic at this point. Perhaps Ryll and Merlin had guessed it, but she needed to say it out loud. "It started as fore dreams. I would see the future in small glimpses. Everything I saw came true. But I've done other things too… I lit the curtains in my room on fire tonight. I was asleep."

"What are you saying?" Merlin asked. She could see his mind working behind his blue eyes.

"I have magic," Morgana said. "It must have come from my mother. I have magic."

No one spoke for a moment, but she saw no looks of horror. A little surprise from Gwen perhaps, but no hatred or disgust.

"I figured that was why you had fore dreams," Ryll said. "It makes sense. How do you feel about all this?"

"I'm glad I told my friends," Morgana said. "I suppose I'm a little frightened. I've seen what Uther does to people with magic."

"That won't happen to you," Ryll promised her. "I won't let it. He need never know."

"What do you think he'd do if he did know?" Morgana asked. If this were a test then it would be harder than simply telling her friends. She saw the alarm in their eyes though and knew what their answers would be even before they spoke.

"I don't think it's a risk worth taking," Ryll said slowly. "I know you want to have people accept you for who you are but…"

"But you think Uther wouldn't do that. You think he'd treat me just like any other person who practiced magic?" Morgana knew she was probably right, but Ryll didn't know at this point that Uther was Morgana's father.

"I think Uther believes that in order to be a strong king he must persecute anyone who practices magic," Ryll said carefully.

"Don't you remember what happens next?" a voice sounded from behind Morgana and she whirled around.

"Morgana?" Ryll sounded confused, and Morgana realized only she had heard the voice.

"I thought I heard something," Morgana said, turning back to the others.

"The Witch Finder approaches…" the voice was a whisper against her ear, but Morgana did not respond. Her memories stirred though and she recalled what happened next. Gaius would be tortured and Merlin would confess to being a sorcerer to save him. What Uther would not realize, however, was that Merlin spoke the truth. She knew the Witch Finder died in the end, that he didn't execute any of them, but this felt like a test. "Make your choice…" The voice faded and Morgana was left with her friends.

"You're right," Morgana said. "It means a lot to have friends who don't judge me for what I was born as, but Uther thinks everyone who has magic is evil no matter what their actions." What she didn't add was that perhaps it was time that someone challenged him on this. "Thank you for listening, for coming here so late. I'm so lucky to have friends like you."

"We know you, Morgana," Gwen said. "We know that you're a good person. I don't believe magic makes someone evil. It's their actions that define whether they are good or bad."

"That means the world to hear that."

Ryll and Gwen smiled at Morgana while Merlin watched her pensively. It was almost as if he knew just what she had in mind. He said nothing though as he and Gwen left the room. Ryll hugged Morgana tightly and told her she could stay in her room tonight if she wished. Morgana accepted, climbing into the four-poster. She knew with Ryll's presence she would have no more nightmares. She felt more in control of her magic now even if she still wasn't sure if this was the past or the present. She lay awake for a long time thinking of what she was going to do. Uther's rejection and her fear of what he might do to her if he learned the truth had driven her to become the spiteful, unhappy thing she'd seen reflected in the crystal. What if she changed that? What if she put an answer to the mystery behind what Uther would do if he found out she had magic? What if she told Uther Pendragon that she had magic? She would put him to the test and hope it didn't end in her execution.