-Thirty-Three -

Revenge

Ryll woke up to stabbing pain. She was lying on a cement floor, flat on her back. There was laughter all around her. She pushed herself up on her elbows and found herself within a giant cage. People leered at her from all sides, shouting and jeering. A hefty man stood in front of her, hands flexing on the handle of an axe. Without hesitation, he swung it straight at her head. Ryll rolled to the side just in time. The axe hit the ground where her head had been, sending up sparks. Ryll leapt to her feet and found a fallen sword a few feet away. She lunged for it, bringing it up just in time to block another blow. Her arm vibrated with the force of it. Her thoughts were garbled as her mind tried to catch up to what was happening. She was clearly no longer in the caves. As the man swung his axe again, Ryll realized with a jolt where exactly she was.

Hengist's castle.

Her memories overwhelmed her for a moment and she felt a hot, searing pain in her arm. The axe had nicked her. Ryll felt her anger rise up. She didn't know how she'd gotten here, but it was the one place she had never wanted to return to. With an angry cry, she flung herself at the man. The onslaught that followed left him weaponless and staggering. Finally, with one finally blow to the face with the hilt of her sword, the man collapsed to the ground, unconscious. Cheers went up all around, and Ryll turned to find Hengist himself watching her. His smug expression sent chills down her spine, and she felt like worms were writhing in her stomach. Hengist motioned for his men to open the doors of the cage. Ryll backed away. She didn't want to get any nearer to Hengist, but she couldn't very well stay in the cage. She took a hesitant step forward and then another, gripping her sword hard. Hengist grinned at her, toothy and greedy.

"There's my little assassin," he said, grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the crowd. "You never disappoint." His pockets jangled with coins won from bets, she supposed.

She kept thinking that this had to be a nightmare. Why else would she be reliving her worst memories? This was a part of her life she'd buried deep and had never dug up again. Ryll had kept these memories tucked deep inside of her, and Merlin had never asked her to relive them. It shouldn't have surprised her, really, that this would be her test. It was a time when she'd been desperate and alone. Hengist had exploited her, used her, made her feel weak. She was not that same girl though. Not anymore.

It was all Ryll could do not to stab Hengist right then and there with the sword. She mastered herself however. There would be little hope of escape in such a crowded room. Better to try to understand why she was there before doing anything rash. The last thing she remembered was reaching out to touch the tree. She imagined she was standing prone back in the caves, in a trance just like Merlin. Byron had said the tree wanted to test them to see if they were pure of heart. Ryll wasn't sure what exactly it meant to be pure of heart but she didn't think stabbing Hengist was a good way to begin her test. Instead she let Hengist lead her from the room into the courtyard outside. The air was cool and breezy, and Ryll thought it might be nearing fall. Had she travelled back in time? She felt younger. Something cold and familiar hung around her neck and she reached a hand up to grasp her mother's ring. She let out a gasp. If she still had her mother's ring then that meant she hadn't defeated the wraith yet. She hadn't been to Camelot. Hadn't met Merlin.

"That was well played," Hengist told her. He seemed unaware that she was feeling any sort of distress. She schooled her face into what she hoped was a placid expression.

"I know how to beat the so called men you send in to challenge me," she told him. "But I am also not here for your amusement."

"Aren't you?" His tone was cool and dangerous. But this wasn't real, and Ryll didn't care. She was not about to let him walk all over her again.

"I'm here because I have nowhere else to be." She now knew she had Camelot, but she wouldn't find herself there for another few years. "I might have a debt to repay you but you don't own me. Nobody does."

"I have a job for you," Hengist continued, ignoring her indignation. "There's a man who owes me money. Lives south of here about twenty miles. Name's Rabada Wilson. You know the drill: money or-" He made a slicing motion across his neck. Ryll looked away. "No time to get squeamish, girl." He grabbed her arm. "I expect my payment." He let go and she took a step back, disgusted by his touch.

She could run away now, flee somewhere. But where would she go? She knew Hengist would hunt her if she didn't come back. Something had always brought her back, but now she didn't have that longing to belong. She knew where she belonged and it was not at Hengist's side as his personal bully. But she wouldn't have been brought back here for no reason, so what was the reason?

She searched the stables for Owl, but the mare wasn't there yet. Hengist hadn't stolen her yet. Feeling a stab of remorse, Ryll picked out a black gelding and saddled him. She knew exactly where she was going. The village was small and poor and Rabada Wilson had made the mistake of losing a bet to Hengist. Before, Ryll had convinced herself that this man needed to pay up. If she'd returned without payment, then Hengist took out his anger on her. The man had paid her, but it had been everything his family and neighbors had. They'd gone hungry that winter and their children had died. It was a burden Ryll had lived with. Hengist made sure of that. This time she was going to do it differently. She patted her pocket where a bulging bag lay. She did have Hengist to thank for her quick fingers. She smiled, thinking of the look on his face when he realized his winnings for the day were gone.

The village looked just as poor and sad as she remembered it. She wore Hengist's sigil on her cloak, and the people looked up at her in fear. Her reputation preceded her even if they didn't know exactly who she was. "Where is Rabada Wilson?" she questioned, her voice ringing out across the village square.

"I'm here." The people parted as the man walked forward. His wife clutched at his arm, but he gently pried her fingers away and walked to stand in front of Ryll. "I owe a debt, but I cannot pay," he said. "I cannot feed my family as it is. I ask you for mercy."

"Hengist does not show mercy," she told him. He bowed his head and his wife began to cry. "I am not Hengist," Ryll continued. Rabada's eyes flitted up to her again. She tossed him the bag of gold. "Keep it," she said. "Feed your family and your village. Consider your debt to Hengist paid."

"But…won't he come after us? Come after you?" Rabada questioned.

"No. I'm going after him," Ryll told him. She turned her horse and kicked him into a gallop. There was one more place she needed to go before she returned to Hengist's castle.

Ealdor lay across the border of Camelot. It was a tiny village and though Ryll had only visited it a few times, it spoke of home and comfort. She stopped the horse at the edge of the village, sitting amongst the trees to watch the comings and goings of the villagers. No one took any notice of her, and she made no move to go into the village. Her eyes fell on a familiar house, and she watched as the door opened and a boy with unruly black hair stepped out into the sunlight. He was dressed as usual, scarf tied around his neck, loose boots a little ungainly on his feet. He looked up at the sky with a smile and started across the village. He was happy and oblivious to what the future held. He had no destiny looming over him yet. She missed that Merlin. The Merlin of the future was tired. He'd seen too much and lived too long to ever gain this carefree innocence back. Ryll's vision blurred for a moment. How she wished she could turn back time. She wanted to go back to Camelot. Maybe it hadn't yet sunk in that she could never go back, that this was as close as she could get, because she started to sob. She turned the horse and galloped away from the village so no one could hear her crying. After a time the horse slowed, and she sobbed into its neck, mourning her losses, mourning her death, mourning her future. It would never go back to the way it was. They were all changed and despite being reunited, she wasn't sure she knew how to be happy anymore. She felt her emotions welling up inside of her like an unruly storm. Her hands went instinctually to her necklace. The moment her hand clamped over it, she felt a shock go through her body. Her hand jolted and the chain broke. She stared down at the ring and something tugged at the back of her mind. Don't take it off! A shadow loomed up before them, and her horse bolted, crying out in fear. Ryll hardly managed to stay on its back. Darkness crept across her eyes, and she faded from the world.

When Ryll awoke again she was lying in the courtyard of Hengist's castle. The black horse was chomping bits of hay on the ground a few feet away. Ryll's back hurt, and she realized she must have fallen off the horse. It was a miracle she'd stayed on as long as she had. She clutched at her head as she sat up. Pain lanced through it, and she wasn't sure if it was from the fall or something else. The ring was still clutched in her hand, and it felt lighter than it had before. Before she had the chance to think further, a shout came from across the courtyard.

"Why are you sitting there, girl?" Hengist shouted. "You should have been back hours ago." Ryll got to her feet, feeling unsteady and dizzy. She tried to focus as Hengist came up to her, getting in her face. "Where's my money?" he demanded.

Ryll shook her head to clear it. "I don't have it," she told him. "I didn't take the man's money."

Hengist gritted his teeth. "Then you'll take a lashing for every bit of gold he owed me."

"I don't think so." Something was stirring in her. It was ugly and raw and angry and hateful. She let it rise up into her throat until she felt like screaming. Hengist's face crumpled in anger.

"Now listen here. I own you! You owe me everything, girl, and you will pay for what you've done and what you've said."

"I'm not the one who needs to pay up," she said calmly. She wasn't sure where the calm was coming from. It was almost like watching herself from a distance. She didn't feel in control anymore.

"You insolent…" Hengist raised a hand to slap her and Ryll snapped. She grabbed his wrist and tugged hard. Hengist let out a howl of pain as his wrist snapped. "You little bitch!" he shouted at her. Ryll kicked him hard and he went down on his back. She stepped a booted foot on his broken wrist, and he screamed in pain.

"You owe a lot of debts, Hengist," Ryll said. The voice didn't sound like hers anymore. It was like her body was acting of its own accord, and she could do nothing to stop it. Her thoughts went to the ring. To the demon inside of it, the wraith. A fear went through her head. What if she had somehow released the wraith? What if it was somehow commanding her body now? She had been weakened and angry and all her thoughts of revenge against Hengist had opened up the perfect doorway to the wraith. She tried to fight, but she heard a deep laugh come out of her mouth. "You cannot control me," the voice said. It was said toward Hengist, but Ryll knew it was meant for her.

Get out of me! she screamed. She felt the wraith inside of her now. The hatred and pain and power. It was dark and cruel, but something in it called to her. Don't you want revenge? it asked her. Don't you want him to pay for what he did to you and to everyone else who was in his debt?

Yes. The answer was there before she could take it back. Yes that was what she wanted, but that wasn't who she was.

But you have nothing left. This time it wasn't the wraith speaking. It was her. I want to go home but where is home?

Finish it, the wraith told her. She drew her sword.

"No, please!" Hengist pleaded with her, eyes wide with fear. "What do you want? Gold? Freedom? Take a horse and go! I don't want to see you again. You're too much trouble!"

He's a coward, the wraith told her.

"This isn't who I am," Ryll said. She took a step back. "Begone!" she shouted at the wraith, thrusting every bit of her will into forcing him out of her. Something like a shadow released itself from her body and was suddenly whole before her. She dropped to her knees feeling suddenly weak.

"Very well," the wraith spoke, and Ryll suppressed a shiver. It grabbed Hengist by the neck.

"No!" Ryll screamed, but it was too late. It was as if the wraith were sucking the very life out of the man. Hengist shuddered and then was still. "You didn't have to do that."

"I can reverse it all," the wraith told her. "I can get your life back. Isn't that what you want? For things to be as they were before? I can give you that."

"You lie." Ryll wasn't about to trust something evil like the wraith.

"I don't," it said. "You set me free. I owe you a debt. I can turn back time and make it so that you never died. You can marry your love and live out your life in Camelot. You can be happy."

Happy. Wasn't that all she wanted? The chance at happiness? She thought of Merlin and all the troubles on his shoulders, the haunted look in his eyes. Could she really reverse all that, make it so that she never died? What was the purpose in dying anyway? So that they could come back for what? As far as she could tell, none of them belonged in this new world. There was no place for them there. It was cruel to dangle life in front of them when it wasn't the life they wanted.

"What must I do?" Ryll asked the wraith.

It gave her what might have been a smile. "I was hoping you'd ask."