Under the surface we're not machines
Under the surface we're living dreams
Death lives just one breath away
Somewhere my heart beats in silence
I made my way through the violence
Nobody lives forever
Under the surface we're not machines
Under the surface we're living dreams
Death lives just one breath away
Expiration Date, Fear Factory
Chapter 20: Inner convictions
"Why are your cousins always in the way?" Neji-San sulked all the way.
Neji-San wasn't someone to sulk. As usual he was cold and said nothing. But whenever I was near him, it happened. He started talking to me. I didn't want to answer him. I wanted to stay focused. And Lee-San was always leaving time for the two of us, running forward with Gai-Sensei with I don't know what stupid challenge again.
"Stop talking to me."
"Listen, I'm sorry about what happened in your apartment. I should have taken things more slowly. But you're so dense I'm losing all my patience. Sometimes I wonder if you're not doing it on purpose."
"Doing what on purpose?" I sighed.
"That! That ignorance about my feelings."
"Okay, I get it. You don't want me to ignore you since I'll be in another team. But I won't, I swear! I spend good times with you guys since the Academy, I remember now."
"Yes, but you still know nothing."
"I know everything. Try me." I gloated.
"You're a living encyclopaedia, I get it. But it's not what I like about you. I…"
"Damn, these two idiots are leaving us behind. Hurry up slow poke!"
I ran faster.
It was actually my first time to another country.
I think the most shocking is the advance in technology. Or rather the differences. I mean there are differences due to the wealth of the country, and the urbanised parts and all. But there was a huge difference. In Konoha we had phones lines and some local television channels, but that was about all. All our lives revolved around clan traditions and ninja lifestyle. Because most of the population had chakra, there was a lot of the creations that had been created with seals.
Seals were mostly military secrets, and a lot could be done with them. Civilians didn't have access to seals, so they compensated with technology. What good was technology for ninjas when we had seemingly magic powers? I mean, we spend most of our lives preparing to kill each other. But making lives easier or better, too few knew how to do.
At best ninjas knew how to patch things up, so they could be sold over and over again.
But far inside the Fire Country, where the civilian ruled, there was technology everywhere. I swear I had seen things we hadn't near Konoha. First there were the railroads where they could transport so much (okay we could compensate with storage seals, and we could go anywhere we wanted to, but still). There was also this impressive computer system or whatever where they could store so much data! I mean, we were still working on scrolls and ink where they were calculating tons of things in a fistful of seconds.
"Why don't we buy these things in Konoha?" I asked Gai-Sensei.
"Because they could represent a risk."
"To Konoha, everything that comes from the outside is a risk." I grumbled unhappily.
"Yanagi, that's the very principle of a Hidden village." Neji-San mocked.
"Yeah, like we're hiding so well with all the expansion in Konoha. Either we grow or reject people outside. And with the Chuunin exams there are even more exchanges with other villages and countries. So tell me about secrecy." I ranted.
"Well the clans are managing everything in town, remember? Clans mean traditions." Lee-San reminded me. "Civilian families have to fill forms that goes through the administration to import stuff. And don't get me speaking about merchants."
"Oh, yes, your mother's family are merchants, aren't they?" I said. "Still, I think we could beneficiate much from all these advances. Even if I don't need all of this, I'm sure there's a demand for this. Think of what could be done if we had these computer machines in the library."
Actually I represented the Uchiha clan, as well as one third of Konoha. I could make some demands about technologies, couldn't I?
"And you're speaking about books again…" Gai-Sensei sighed. "That's so youthless of you, Yanagi! You only need physical training to be happy!"
I rolled my eyes. Sure thing…
Neji-San was staring at me weirdly again. I gritted my teeth. It made me feel… uneasy. I didn't have a better term for this emotion. I decided to focus on the mission again.
Technology had spread a lot in all the civilian areas, well most in rich countries, where the lords were thinking about their people and not merely accumulating wealth. In all of this Uzushio was a real ovni. For real.
Because in Whirpool country lived a clan specialized in making their own seals. Like the biggest and coolest thing that existed (and probably the only skill that still made a respectable person of Jiraya-Sama). This clan had made tremendous efforts in bettering their country, all their onsen and all the cities with seals. Most of them were unknown to most people. Most of them had been lost during the war.
The Third Ninja War had been a pretext for the Countries that were enemies to Konoha, especially Iwa and Kumo (until Kiri stabbed its ally in the back), to try and steal all the secrets of the Uzumaki clan. It only resulted on the death of the most knowledgeable people. The non-ninja Uzumaki flew everywhere, and settled in the neighbourhood countries. But in the end most of the knowledge disappeared.
But Jiraya-Sama had been convinced of the existence of old scrolls still remaining in that country, but was never able to find them. Until bandits raided a few villages and got some of these scrolls they sold in the black market. The Sannin had been contacted through his spying network about a particular scroll that talked about blood wards. It wasn't something unknown to Konoha's clans, maybe they traded some goods to have some protections of that kind built for them. There was a real value into obtaining this particular scroll.
The mission was simple: beating these bandits, getting the scroll back to Konoha.
I intended to get every other scroll for my personal use. And if I found myself unable to read them, I could still sell them myself.
Maybe I'll learn more about seals one day. It was part of the things I wanted to learn but never could.
As we passed the border, the sky darkened. It would rain tonight.
"We should take cover." I suggested. "I don't want to walk soaked."
"Actually Jiraya-Sama gave us a meeting point." Gai-Sensei explained and gestured towards the map Neji-San had in his hands.
I cocked my head on the side and get closer to my teammate, Lee-San following me.
"We have to go inside Grass country though this road, and meet Jiraya-Sama here."
"Isn't it near the Kannabi bridge?" Lee-San remarked.
"Exact my knowledgeable student!" Gai-San beamed.
"There was a great mission where the Yondaime played a big role, right?" I said. "He destroyed the bridge with his team so Iwa's supplies would be cut. Kakashi-San took part in these mission. I hear it's when he get his Sharingan."
"You've been researching about Kakashi-San, haven't you?" Lee-San said. "You'd know all his flaws and tell Sensei?"
At that I clearly saw Gai-Sensei and Neji-San twitch. Why would they want to know about Kakashi-San's flaws? I had no idea what they could be; that man probably wasn't human. And if I had found these information, I wouldn't have told them. Information was power, and I needed as much power as I could get. After all, Kakashi-Sensei may be working towards the same goal I did, but he was a real pain. He was too smart for my taste, and I wasn't gifted enough to understand what he thought.
"Doesn't Gai-Sensei already knows about Kakashi-San's defaults?" Neji-san asked, breaking my line of thoughts. "If you're at 50 victories against 49, you've got to know stuff about him."
"Of course I know his defaults, and I overcame them! Because I'm the Green Beast of Konoha, and he is my fated rival!"
"The Green Beast of Konoha?" I repeated. "That doesn't ring any bell."
Sensei suddenly seemed crushed.
"The library talks more about Kakashi than they talk of me…"
He sounded depressed.
"There isn't much information about him, only that he is the man who copied tons of techniques. I'm sure your Databook pages are more impressive than his." I said, trying to cheer him up.
"You… you really think so?" he muttered.
I nodded.
"Sensei does things I never seen anyone else do." I said.
Yeah, like freaking training, or wearing an ugly training suit. Or training his students to death with exercises that defies the limits of normal human beings. Or smiling like an idiot with gleaming teeth. Or… Or…
Suddenly he crushed me against his chest. Rivers of tears were pooling out of his eyes. I struggled against his bear-like hug.
"Yanagi, you're my cutest student ever!" he cried.
"All right, all right! Just let me down!" I complained.
"Sensei! I want to do a youthful hug as well!"
"Then come here all of you!" he shouted.
I started trembling. Then the air around me trembled as well, and the chakra inside of it. No. One. Was. Touching. Me. Not even my Sensei. Not even my teammates. Not even my friends. I didn't like that! If I wasn't the one to make that move it…
Lee-San hit the back of my head.
"Stop complaining and enjoy the moment, silly Yanagi."
I looked away, my face reddening. I opened my mouth to deny all that warmth feeling that was crawling inside of me.
"And before you say anything, yes you're cute." Neji-San confirmed.
I pouted.
"You're all jerks." I whispered against Sensei's vest. "You're playing fools during a mission. That's not how we should act according to the Ninja guidelines."
When he finally released us, I got to see the map. We weren't too far from the rendezvous point after all. A few drops of water fell from the sky, sipping under my collar. I jerked while making a face. It made the boys laugh.
It was raining cats and dogs when we arrived at the inn. I hoped their private bath were free.
"Hello!" Sensei saluted the clerk at the desk, while I handed Neji a towel from my bag so he could dry his hair a little. "Someone made a reservation for our team."
He handed the man a parchment. The other read it and nodded.
"Of course. A room is available for you as well as a full-course meal."
"Yatta!" Lee-San yelled.
I glanced at Neji-San as our teammate ran to the room that had been reserved for us.
"And are your baths available?" I asked the clerk.
"We only have one inner bath, so it's a mixed one." He said. "It won't be a problem since you're all boys, right?"
I looked at my chest flattened by the chest binder. That was the plan to look like a boy and never be bothered by my status as a woman during the missions.
"Then I'll go after them by myself." I announced.
"You're sure you don't want to go with us?" Neji-San muttered with a weird tone.
"Are you trying to imply something?" I asked, frowning. "I just can't place the allusion you're making. Anyway, I want to bathe alone. For now, let's eat by ourselves."
The meal was sumptuous. There were different eat and fishes and a tone of rice. It was delicious! I tried not to eat too much. And of course our client was there. The white-haired ninja looked at me sharply. Maybe it was because of me we were given this mission after all. Everyone talked of small things while eating. I couldn't keep my eyes from the Sannin. I felt observed by him, like he was detailing me. Neji-San had remarked that as well, and it kept both of us on our guards. Lee-San and Gai-Sensei were eating everything they could.
Then two maids came to clear the table and left us. I frowned at the old man who kept glancing at them with envy. I was suddenly reminded of his books, and something clicked in my mind. He wanted to have sex with these women, and he didn't hide it from us. I felt embarrassed. I clenched fists and teeth to shut me up.
"Here's what we're going to do." He said while rolling out a map on the table. "We're going to need two teams for this operation. One will be looking for the bandits, and the other one will be checking the nearby villages for the remaining scrolls."
"Will you help us in this task?" Gai-Sensei asked. "There might still be active seals in the villages."
"Of course, but I won't go alone. I want to take Uchiha Yanagi with me. Her Sharingan will be useful to detect chakra emanation."
"Neji-San would be more useful than me in that fashion." I remarked. "Sharingan can detect chakra, but it's not its primary function."
Jiraya-San looked straight at me and I felt a shudder coursing along my back. He wanted to talk with me; the kind of long talk I was sure not to like.
"Actually it might be good to have the two of you working without her." Gai-Sensei remarked.
"But Gai-Sensei! It's our last mission together." Lee-San protested.
"Yes, we should send Lee with Jiraya-Sama." Neji-San said coldly.
"You know, that might be the exact reason why I'm the one separated from you." I suggested.
Gai-Sensei had a slight huff, his shoulders went down a bit. Jiraya-Sensei nodded at me and he sipped another cup of sake.
"Neji, Lee, both of you are making lots of efforts when Yanagi is around. But you stop that when she isn't there. I understand you want to ease things for her, but this is neither good for her, nor for you. You have strong bonds with her, but not between you."
I looked away, embarrassed by them.
"But Yanagi has made lots of friends! There's the beautiful Sakura-San, and Naruto-Kun, and Ino-San…" Lee-San started counting and the shadow of a smile blossomed on my face.
"But now you have to accept and let her go, kids." Jiraya-San said. "Keeping the same team you have made when you were Genin is very rare, especially with two members of great clans of Konoha. You three were lucky to be in the elite teams and not in the Genin Corpse."
"I still don't understand why they couldn't make us take the Chuunin test together. That's because Lee is slowing us down, isn't it?"
"Neji!" Lee-San shouted.
There was a brief glance between the two adults. I hadn't been looking at them, more focused on the boy's quarrel. We should have made more team building. There would be no cohesion between them, even with Tenten there. She would probably live a…
Shuriken! My hand shot by itself to stop the one aimed at me. The projectiles weren't making any sound, and the two men hadn't warned us with any chakra surge. A mild assassination technique after all. But neither Neji-San nor Lee-San had seen them. I flattened myself on the floor and shot a senbon when the three holes were aligned. They only moved when the weapons collided.
"Wha…" Neji-San started, looking at the shuriken spinning around my senbon.
I had immediately rolled backwards and was already on my feet, a hand blocking the fist Jiraya-Sama had landed in my direction. Had almost no time to deflect the other two shuriken aiming at my teammates before the man kicked my legs. I jumped backwards, unable to do any fire Jutsu to counter him, and was forced into a cross-block with my arms in front of my face.
Kakashi-San said keeping aces up my sleeve and not using them was stupid.
I did the smart thing: my Sharingan spun in my eyes. Immediately after the old man went a lot faster. I had to pay attention to the gap. My eyes anticipated his moves even better since I had trained myself to rely on observing the muscles twitches without my dôjutsu help. I needed to keep him away from me. Either I escaped the room, or I found a weapon to do so.
My katana was leaning against the wall.
We were dancing around the room. He was preventing me from taking my weapon without looking in my eyes. I was trying to get it while evading his fists. I felt so light without my training weights, moving around like a fluttering butterfly. My elbow suddenly flew near him and I tok a few steps to get behind him. He didn't let me. My feet whooshed near his face, an invisible wave of chakra coursing through it. He frowned at my aim, since it wasn't a feint and he didn't have to avoid it. Then the Genjutsu struck him, and I added a second layer, then a third. It took him a mere second to free himself from the last one. It was short, but it was enough time for me to threaten his femoral artery with a kunai.
"If I cut here you bleed to death." I quoted Kakashi-Sensei.
"I wasn't being serious." He said.
"I wasn't too serious either. But it wasn't the point, wasn't it?"
I put my kunai back into my holster and sat down. A fistful of seconds had only passed since we had engaged in this Taijutsu match, and I was sweating buckets. My joints were hurting me, but I didn't show it. There was only the look on the boy's eyes that mattered.
"What was that?" Neji-San muttered.
"That was Yanagi using almost all her resources in a hand-to-hand spar." Gai-Sensei said. "I'd say she's about Chuunin level."
"I'd say the same. You're better than I expected."
And we still hadn't had this long talk he wanted us to have. Well I guess I'd only have to wait until we go together on our part of the mission.
"Neither of you have the level to compete with her. She's been a Gennin for four months, just like you were, and she's already that advanced. Plus, there's no team cohesion without her. You understand what the problem is?"
"But I thout we were the elite teams… The only three teams to get a Jounin Sensei on our promotion…" Lee-San muttered.
"Which means you're really good in your specialty and got the adapted Sensei." Jiraya-Sama explained. "Gai is specialised in physical training. But if Yanagi is good at Taijutsu, she has other assets she had honed."
"Actually I'd have thought they put me in a Ninjutsu or a Genjutsu team, since I excel in that." I reckoned. "But being in a Taijutsu-focused team helped me a lot. Besides I was the only person who could bear with this two for so long."
"Yanagi, you're so great!" Lee-San yelled while attempting a bear-hug.
I avoided him.
"Now I'm fired up! I won't stop training until I beat you!" he said with inspiration.
"I concur. Yanagi is really impressive."
"Guys, I'm just training a lot, that's all." I mumbled. "There's no need to put me on a pedestal. I bet you'll be as strong as I am in no time."
"If you say so…" Jiraya-Sama singsonged. "As I was saying earlier, I'll take Yanagi for the investigations. I trust you know a bit about tracking from your clan."
"Just a bit, I hadn't had much time to learn from them." I muttered drily.
"Gai, you take your other students to find the bandits and get their treasure back." Jiraya-Sama said. "Now, I'd like to talk with Yanagi for a while."
I frowned.
"Shouldn't you be talking to Sensei?" I asked. "He's the other team's leader. We can do the rest during the investigation."
His brown eyes went hard on me again and I shuddered. Neji-San squared his shoulders and moved forward as if he could shield me. I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Didn't he just see I was stronger than him? Or was he just an idiot in trying to confront Jiraya-Sama? No, there was definitely something fishy about that story.
In the end, the three of them went for a bath inside the inn. Jiraya-Sama ordered tea for us.
"Is green tea all right?"
"I prefer black tea." I replied. "What do you want from me?"
"Our common friend asked me to look after you, since I had made him aware of your existence. Don't frown, I'm merely quoting him."
"He didn't say anything about his brother?"
"Well he did give me a letter."
There was a pause.
"And?"
"I want to see some things with you before giving it."
"What do you want in the end?"
"Back when you were in that Yamanaka girl, you weren't exactly sane. And I learned Danzô is really interested in you."
"That doesn't concern you. This is my personal business."
"Actually it does. Danzô is both an asset and a liability to our government, I trust you already know that. Given the fact you've given the Hokage some pretty ideas for the future of Konoha, I don't want to see you wasted because of that man."
I pinched the bridge of my nose. Please don't be another Kakashi-San…
"Great, another idealist." I sighed. "Well, you work with Itachi-Sama, so I shouldn't be surprised. Did he asked you to watch over me, or are you acting on your behalf?"
"A bit of both, a bit of both… Actually I'd rather go against Itachi's recommendations about you, but only if you think you can do it."
"And what did my cousin recommended? A few weeks ago he thought I was a fake, and that the real Uchiha Yanagi was dead and buried alongside the other members of our clan. I haven't seen him for years, so why should he bother now?"
"Because he cares? Listen, he put his reasons on this letter."
"But you won't give the letter until I say yes to your proposition, right?" I answered unimpressed. "If I want to talk to him, I'll talk to him directly. If you want to do business with me, you talk to me. You don't have to ask for his permission."
"He still is the heir of your clan."
I showed myself with my thumb.
"And I'm the one who manages my clan for now. In terms of business with the Uchiha clan, you go through me."
"… he didn't tell me you were hard at business."
"Last time Itachi-Sama saw me, I was 10. I grew up a lot."
"That too… I don't think he had expected you to be that tall. If I hadn't known better, I'd have thought you were a boy. But you're well-endowed, aren't you?"
He made a cupping gesture. My cup of tea creaked under my fingers. I couldn't help shaking. He was half drunk I could see that. But even in that state I would never be able to save my honour. But… Oh, I think I had a very nice idea for my revenge, but I would need a bit of time to put my plan into motion.
"By the way he really liked the picture I took of you."
I spat tea everywhere.
"You did what?" I coughed.
"Don't be too dramatic. Better think of it as an help to your relationship with Itachi." He winked at me while handing me a handkerchief.
"What relationship with Itachi-Sama?" I asked after wiping the tea from my face.
"What? Don't tell me there's nothing between the two of you? I'd be so disappointing."
"Nothing like what? He's just my cousin, that's all. What relationship would you think we have? I haven't seen him in four years and he was lead to believe another girl was me. I don't get where you want to go with your questions."
"I would have thought otherwise. Itachi cares a lot about you. I mean, he did received information about you for four years and cared about you. To him you were like treated for your traumas in an area far from the village, taken hostage by…"
"I stop your novelization right here. If he did care that much, then he would have rescued the girl sooner and taken an interest in the real me sooner. And he wouldn't have gone to me if I hadn't been in the body of the girl you've abducted."
"Okay, tell yourself what you want. I'm only telling you how he reacted about you after he discovered everything was a lie. He was obsessive. I want to know what is so important about you? You're good, and you're the last Uchiha woman. But knowing Itachi, it isn't enough."
"Why are you asking so much questions about Itachi-Sama anyway?"
"Because I care about him kid. We both share the same dream for peace."
I remained silent for a while. Then I looked at the window and sighed.
"You care about him, you say? I guess he needs the help if you're offering it, but… He still killed people that night. Not everyone, I know. But he was there, I'm sure of it."
I looked at Jiraya-Sama.
"You asked what relationship there was between us? Well I can't answer that question. I don't have the words for the bond that tie me to Itachi-Sama. I trust him. I trust him despite all the proofs against him. I trust him despite all the people that pledge him guilty. I just…"
I looked at my powerless hands.
"Itachi-Sama had always been there for me when I needed someone. And when he had needed someone, I had been there. I don't know what is between us, but it's a strong bond. Now I need answers from him so that…"
"You want to be sure wasn't misplaced, right."
I nodded, still not looking at him.
"What if you learn he's not a good person? What will you do?" he asked then.
"I don't know. I've always been told to protect the clan, and to protect the village. But they gave nothing to me in return. Everyone is just… waiting for me to get stronger and get useful. But that's not what I wanna be. I don't want to be a simple pawn in that. I want to have the choice. Itachi-Sama works for the peace of this world, or at least this is what I want to believe, because he always saw me for who I was, not for who people wanted me to become. It took me a long time, but I managed to look at him in that fashion; to see the person behind the ninja."
Suddenly a large hand was ruffling my bangs. I immediately drew back, before letting him pet me.
"You're just like a wild cat, aren't you?" Jiraya-Sama said. "I thought you were some kind of crazy girl, but in the end you're a good kid, right?"
"I… won't blame you for the crazy part. I lived four years with a Genjutsu that didn't stop and where I was dying. And I resented Itachi-Sama a bit. Because even if he was always there to support me, even if he was protecting me, it was nice to have someone to blame for every of my problems."
"I should let you calm down before giving you that letter." He grumbled. "You're a troublesome kid, you know?"
"Wait until you meet Itachi-Sama's brother and we'll talk about being troublesome again."
"What? He's crazy too? He didn't look like this when I spied you."
"He just has fits of murderous rampage about his brother. He just can't understand the trust I have for him. Neither do I for that matter."
The door opened to my teammates wearing plain yukata. Their black hair was sticking to their bodies. Neji-San's bangs cascading on his shoulders. They looked curiously attractive, and I tried to conceal my hormones spike. I couldn't be attracted to them; they were my teammates! But the look I had on Lee-San's buffed chest and Neji-San chiselled one… I gulped nervously. Damn hormones! That was bad!
"It felt youthful!" Gai-Sensei beamed as he entered the room.
The sight of his open yukata gave a nice view on his fundoshi. I felt sick.
"Gai-Sensei!" I complained covering my eyes.
"Teenagers!" Jiraya-Sensei chuckled behind me.
I quickly ran to the inner bath to soak myself and forget everything that I saw.
I'm definitely struggling with all these conviction speeches with Yanagi. I should put more action in these seriously...
Anyway I had a lot of reaction about the last chapters so thank you!
Radiopoisoning: Yeah, Neji will be cockblocked forever.
Songfern1128: Yanagi is really dense in terms of flirt and everything. But Neji doesn't want her babies, I thing getting in her pants is good enough for him. You want Kakashi to be sexually inactive? It would be no fun!
Pcrafter: 3 love interests? Nahhh, the only real love interest would be Neji and Yanagi isn't interested. Kakashi isn't interested in Yanagi as a woman, since he is twice her age (he calls her "girl" for a reason). And Sasuke considers her as a convenient way to continue the Uchiha clan, but he hasn't thought about the fact that she might be against it (But wait until puberty really hits him).
Leila-Chan: One of your suggestions was the correct one :) There will be an arc about these two in the future.
And now all the answers to the anonymous questions.
Is Kakashi gay?
He's the one who said to Yanagi he was fucking Iruka. So he might be lying. Is he really making a move on Yanagi when he's gay? I don't think so. For now I won't say whether he's really interested in a gender, another or both :P
Will there be a kiss between Neji and Yanagi?
I have no idea. Seriously, if Neji wanted a kiss he would have to force Yanagi, since she won't understand his intentions. But you still can suggest ideas for him, since I don't think he will ever try violence on her, even if he gets too impatient.
What will be Sasuke, Neji and Gai's reaction when they learn what kind of books Kakashi lend Yanagi?
I think I'll have Sasuke discover that when Kakashi becomes his Jounin Sensei (I can't wait for that to happen). As for the other two I haven't decided yet. I think Gai-Sensei already knows but won't make too much of a fuss about that. As for Neji... He could have a nosebleed indeed, but that would imply he read the boook as well and not only some passages from above Kakashi's shoulder.
In Itachi's flashback, was he really that protective of her or does he have other feelings as well?
It might spoil the fun if I answer that question :P
That's all folks! Don't forget to leave a review :)
