-Thirty-Nine -

Oblivion

Morgana found Nimueh on the stone tiles leading around the courtyard. Morgause was standing over her holding a knife and looking livid. She looked up as Morgana approached.

"Sister."

"Morgause. What happened? Where were you?" She looked down at Nimueh, but the priestess made no move to get up.

"She locked me up," Morgause said, spite in her voice. "I thought we were allies, but I was mistaken. I'm on whatever side my sister is on." The loyalty and love in her eyes warmed Morgana's heart. "Shall I dispose of her?"

"Wait." Morgause lowered the knife. Morgana knelt in front of Nimueh who looked up at her, fear in her eyes. "Why do you fear me?" she asked.

"It's not you I fear but that magic within you. It too is trying to survive and it will do anything to get stronger."

"Include drain your magic."

"I will call off my soldiers, just don't let it take my magic." It was all she had left.

"I won't. But there are conditions." Morgana stood. "You stop this quest of yours. You vow never to kill again. You leave this place and never return."

"Anything. Just let me catch my breath, then I'll call them off." She looked utterly defeated and Morgana turned to Morgause.

"This magic is too much," she told her. "After this is over, I need to find somewhere for it to go. It's too dangerous to be kept inside of me."

"Are you well, sister? Is it hurting you?" Morgause asked.

"Not hurting me exactly just… It's just too much."

"Just a little longer, sister."

There was a shuffling behind them and someone shouted, "Morgana, look out!"

Morgana turned in time to see a knife slicing straight toward her. She threw out a hand and the magic stopped Nimueh's hand. The priestess strained against it, but she was no match for it. She dropped the knife, glaring up at Morgana.

"You don't deserve it!" she shouted. "It was supposed to be mine! I can use it. I am strong enough to use it!"

"The magic chose me," Morgana said. Nimueh choked in pain as she was lifted to her feet and then off the ground. Her hands grasped at her throat.

"Morgana, no." It was Merlin who had shouted the warning. Merlin who had wanted the power for himself. "Don't lose yourself."

But she wasn't lost. For the first time in her life she was seeing perfectly clear. The magic swelled around her, and she didn't feel afraid anymore. She could be anything, anyone with this power. The magic squeezed harder. Nimueh continued to struggle. Merlin rushed forward, but the magic lashed out and he flew backwards, hitting the ground hard. Morgause made no move to stop her perhaps because she knew she couldn't. But then–

"It wasn't Merlin I saw in my dream." Morgana paused, the air stilling. Her grip on Nimueh slackened. She turned to see Uther standing there looking haggard. His face was dirty and his clothes were ripped, but his eyes were clear. "I lied because I wanted to protect you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I told you that if Merlin were to take on that power, he would destroy the world. I thought you would stay away from him. But you didn't. And it wasn't him I saw. It was you. It was you who destroyed the world with that power because you let it consume you." There were tears in his eyes. "But I don't believe that's who you really are. You're my daughter. I might not have been much of a father to you but I wasn't lying when I said I wanted a second chance. Everything I have done in this lifetime has been for you, to protect you. I thought if I destroyed the caves, destroyed the magic, then you wouldn't fall to its power. If you keep hurting her, if you kill her, then you're throwing away your second chance, then you're becoming just like her."

Morgana hesitated. Everything in her was telling her to kill Nimueh, to rid the world of her and her genocidal ideas.

"You're better than that." The words were soft as if spoken from a distance. She looked up and saw that Ryll had approached. There was no fear in her eyes as she met Morgana's gaze. Nothing but a steady confidence that said she trusted Morgana. "This isn't you. You're stronger than this. Stronger than the magic." And then she smiled as if she was realizing something wonderful for the first time. "You're the hero," she told Morgana. "I might have died for this Second Coming to happen, but you're the hero of this story. You're going to save us. It's not up to me and it's not up to Merlin. It's not up to Arthur or Nimueh. It's up to you. What kind of life are we going to make this?"

Morgana looked back down at Nimueh, but she found her hatred was gone. Her lust for vengeance disappeared. So this is what it feels like, she thought as she let go. This is what I've been fighting for all along. She felt the magic release Nimueh, felt herself falling into blackness, felt it swallow her whole.

When she awoke she was no longer in the castle courtyard but standing before Camelot. It was different from what she remembered. The woods had grown all around it, encroaching on what used to be Arthur's land. The castle itself was dilapidated and abandoned, falling apart from years of disuse. She spun around but she was utterly alone. A loneliness swallowed her heart and suddenly she was back at the end of her time in Camelot, alone and hopeless. She'd seen her dragon cut down by hunters. She'd lost her best friend. She'd left her home. She was remembering the despair she'd felt before she'd cast the spell to put herself to sleep until the Second Coming arrived. She'd given up and right now she felt like she was close to the same but then her vision came back and she was still in Camelot. This time it had changed. The trees still crept up on the castle, but the walls were not so derelict. Birds sang in the forest and there was the sound of life within the castle walls.

"Are you all right, Morgana?" She turned to see Arthur standing there.

"Where are we? Am I dead?" she asked him.

He gave her a funny look. "Dead? No. You're home."

Morgana turned back to the castle and felt a rush of belonging she had not felt for so many years, so many centuries. She was home. Camelot somehow existed again. And then it dawned on her – this was where the magic could go. Instead of bringing destruction, it would bring new life. Camelot was a vessel waiting to be filled with life and laughter once more. A smile touched her lips before she found herself back in White Castle, Ryll and Morgause crouched next to her.

"I saw a vision," she told them softly. "Of Camelot. We must bring the magic there."

"You're not making sense. What do you mean 'bring the magic there'?" Ryll asked.

"The magic needs a stronger vessel than me to contain it. The tree died leaving the magic with nowhere to anchor itself. Camelot will be its anchor. The magic will restore it. We can have a place in this world. We can go home."

"Camelot is just a pile of stones," Ryll told her. "I've seen it myself."

"Stones can be rebuilt. I feel it calling me. Calling me back home."

"It might work." Merlin was still standing across the courtyard, but his eyes were focused, keen. She saw a hope there that she hadn't seen since she'd returned.

"First we finish this fight. No one else gets hurt." Morgana got to her feet with Ryll and Morgause's help. Nimueh was lying on the ground, cowering, and Morgana felt a stab of sympathy. The magic could be cruel, she knew that much. It protected itself and it protected the future of those who carried its magic. Nimueh had threatened all that, but in the end, she really had wanted the same thing. Morgana nodded to her. "Make sure she's treated well," she said. Morgause nodded.

"I'll see to it, sister."

Morgana walked out of the castle and onto the front lawn where the battle still raged. "It's over," she called out in a clear voice. "Nimueh is defeated and the battle is won."

The fighting ceased. Swords clattered to the ground. The people who'd been under Nimueh's control looked confused and dazed.

"There is a place for you in this world, a place for all of you. We're going to rebuild Camelot. Forge it anew. Who is with me?"

There was silence and then two of Nimueh's wards stepped up. "We just want to be safe," they told her.

"I can make you safe. We go now to Camelot. It's been waiting for its king." She met Arthur's gaze. "This life is what we make it. We'll never be normal like the other people out there, but we also have a place to be ourselves. This is our second life, our second chance, and we're going to make sure it's a good one. No more fighting, no more hatred, no more fear. If you wish to stay in White Castle or Ealdor, you will be protected. They are a part of our little corner of this land. If you wish to come to Camelot, pack your things and be ready to leave within the hour. A messenger can ride ahead and spread the word to those who evacuated."

"You heard her," Arthur said. "Get moving." He smiled at her, coming forward. "How did you manage this?" he asked. "I thought Camelot was just ruins now."

"It is, but I have the power to make it whole again. We all do. We were always meant to come back to it in the end, to make things right so that we did not have to suffer the loses we did before. I once let myself sink into oblivion thinking that there was no hope left in the world, no home for me, no family or friends. I let that consume me. I'm not going to let that feeling into my heart again."

"I just wish…" Arthur hesitated, eyes going distant. "I just wish we were all here to see it."

"Gwen."

"I thought she'd be here. I don't know how to live in a world without her."

"I'm sorry."

Morgause was leading Nimueh out of the castle now, Uther trailing behind her. Arthur lit up to see his father, and Uther started toward them to greet his son.

They say time slows down when something horrible happens. That was a lie. Time speeds up until it's a blur and you're left wondering how it happened. Nimueh still had some strength left. She used it to push Morgause away from her and snatch up a fallen dagger. Morgana's first thought was that she meant to kill herself. Then the knife sunk into Uther's back up to the hilt.

"You don't deserve a second chance!" Nimueh shouted as Uther stumbled. Morgause grabbed her and the knights helped her hold Nimueh down, binding her hands and dragging her away. Morgana stood for a moment. Then Uther was falling, and she rushed to catch him before he hit the ground.

"No no no no!" This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. They were supposed to start over. She held his head in her hands. "Stay with me. I'll heal you. I can use the magic-"

"No." Uther's voice was firm. "You need it all for rebuilding Camelot."

"I can spare a little."

"I was never meant to live this life a second time," he told her, looking up at her. The grey eyes she'd once found so cruel and cold were now filled with a father's love for his daughter. "That I should get the chance to seek my daughter's forgiveness is more than I could have ever asked for."

"I can't lose you now. We were supposed to be a family," Morgana said, tears rolling down her cheeks. Arthur joined her, crouching down and taking his father's hand.

"We are a family," Uther said. "We always will be. You need to live your life, Morgana. Anyway, there's only room for one king in Camelot." He looked over at Arthur.

"I lost you already," Arthur said. "I don't want to lose you again."

"This was borrowed time for me," Uther said. "I've always known that."

"You knew this would happen?" Morgana asked.

"When I was reborn, I was shown just what my purpose was. I tried to change it, tried to make things different, but in the end all I really wanted was to see my children again and ask for their forgiveness."

"You have it," Morgana told him. "You have it."

"Then I am complete."

"No, don't leave us." Morgana bowed her head over him, but he had already stopped breathing. She started to sob. Arthur gently laid his father on the ground and pulled Morgana into his arms. Her tears soaked his tunic and they mourned the loss of their father together.

"I could have healed him," she said.

"You already did," Arthur told her. "All he wanted was your forgiveness." Somehow, by some small miracle, that made her feel better.

"We need to take him home," Morgana told Arthur. He nodded.

"We will," he promised her. "We will."

Somewhere along the line Lancelot had put an arm around Morgana and guided her to a waiting car. A procession of people followed them, but Morgana turned her head away and closed her eyes. A hero saved everyone. A hero didn't let someone die like that.

"It wasn't your fault," Lancelot told her. She wished she could believe him.