July 6th 2013
I looked out the window of my apartment at the falling rain miserably. I felt as if Lindsay had ripped my heart right out of my chest. I clicked my phone on for the millionth time, praying to see a message from her. No such luck. I needed some air, so I grabbed my jacket and headed outside.
I was so numb I barely even felt the raindrops harshly pelting down on me as I walked aimlessly through the streets. In hindsight, I thought, an umbrella would have been a good idea. Suddenly I was stopped in my tracks because someone stood right in front of me. I looked at them.
'Lizzy?' I said weakly.
Her brown eyes looked sad, her curls darkened by the rain and dripping wet. Her light pink blouse hung loosely off her. She'd obviously forgotten an umbrella too.
'What are you doing?' I asked her.
'Just… don't talk,' she told me.
She put both her hands on the back of my head and pulled me into her. We kissed for the second time.
But the kiss was empty.
I felt nothing stirring inside of me. I felt no eagerness to kiss her harder. Emptiness was all there was. Why? Because I had no feelings towards Lizzy. Then I felt guilty. Lizzy had made it fairly clear that she had feelings for me, and I was just using her to try and forget about Lindsay. That time it was me who pulled away.
'Sorry,' I mumbled.
Lizzy closed her eyes and sighed.
'No, don't apologise,' she said sadly. 'I always knew you never loved me.'
Man, this girl was deep.
She patted me on the cheek and then took off running, causing water to splash up around her as she ran through the puddles on the sidewalk.
I shook my head and turned around to go back home. I gasped at who I saw standing a few metres away.
Her long black hair stuck to her cheeks, her brilliant green eyes looked confused and hurt. Her long olive arms hung limply at her sides.
'Lindsay,' I said.
Then I realised what she just saw. My mouth dropped open. She scrunched up her face and started walking away.
'Lindsay!' I called out, that time louder.
She started running. Why were so many girls running away from me this morning? Luckily speed was one of my strengths, so I was able to catch up to her pretty quickly.
I grabbed her shoulder and turned her around, so she was looking right at me. Her whole body was shaking with sobs, and even though it was still pouring rain I could tell there were tears streaming down her cheeks. I tucked her hair behind her ears and grabbed her face in both my hands.
'Lindsay, what you just saw…' I started, but she didn't seem to be listening to me. 'Lindsay?'
She let out a scream and smacked me in the face. Hard. Pain exploded through my cheek, and I stumbled back in surprise and grabbed it. It felt hot. I moaned in pain and looked back at her. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was a little open. She looked down at her hand, as if she was in shock at what she just did. She swallowed and then she spoke.
'One second you're proposing to me, the next you're kissing random girls on the street? Minho, what is wrong with you?' The hurt look in her eyes broke my heart. What was wrong with me?
'Lindsay, there is nothing going on between Lizzy and I,' I assured her. 'I just…'
Lindsay stared at me for a long hard moment.
'That was Lizzy?' She whispered. 'Your girlfriend's friend, Lizzy? Your best friend's sister, Lizzy?'
'Well you said you needed time to breathe! I didn't think you were my girlfriend anymore! I thought we were broken up!' I said. But why did I say that? Was I trying to make an excuse? I knew what I did was over the line. I gave myself what seemed like the billionth mental slap.
I noticed it had stopped raining, so I could see Lindsay better. The hurt look in her eyes had turned to anger, her whole face contorted with rage.
'WELL WHY DON'T YOU GO KISS HER SOME MORE, MINHO? BECAUSE NOW WE ARE BROKEN UP!' She yelled, then stormed off.
I should've chased her again. I should've convinced her she was the only girl I cared about. But me being the stupid person I am, I just stood there.
