When You're Broken

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're tryin' but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in your self
When you're broken


Emma sat on the couch, head in her hands as she tried to take it all in. Her phone laid on the table beside her ringing non-stop. She knew it was David but she didn't want to talk to him. Killian walked in to the room and looked to her before looking to her phone.

"Not going to talk to him?" He asked sitting on the couch beside her. Emma was on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Unemployed, alone and pregnant wasn't her dream in life. She didn't even know what her dream would be at this point.

"No. Right now I just don't want to talk to him." She said as she picked up the phone and denied his call before turning her phone off. "I won't be here long I promise. Just tonight and then Ill go to the Inn or my moms. I am sorry about this." She said softly as she sat back. Emma wished life was normal for her, normal enough for her to just be with her head above water now.

"Emma its fine really. You can stay as long as you need love. I won't rush you out." He told her as they sat there.

"I lost my job today, found out I am pregnant for sure, and now I'm homeless." She said before she started laughing. Killian looked to her shaking his head as he gave her a smile.

"It's been a fun day for you that's for sure." Killian said with a small laugh watching her. Emma shook her head sitting there watching him.

"Oh yeah so much fun I want to do it again tomorrow." She said shaking her head, still laughing. "I was looking in to going back to school. Online courses. But I have no clue what im going to study. I sat there and looked at the courses trying to decide. I thought about business classes, ya know opening up my own business. But then I thought about Law enforcement. But then teaching came to mind and then so does being a personal trainer and a chef and a stay at home mom. I just don't know what to do. Everything sounds like it would be fun but at the same time nothing sounds fun." She said with a sigh as she closed her eyes for a moment.

"What have you always wanted to do? When you were a kid?" He asked her as he got up and started a fire before moving back, handing her a blanket. The room had cooled quickly and Emma knew that a storm would be coming soon. She thanked him for the blanket and draped it over their legs as he sat back down.

"When I was 4 I wanted to be a fireman. I told my foster dad, who was a fire chief, I wanted to be just like him. At the next house I wanted to be a sailor, travel the seas and never have a care in the world. By time I was 9 I just wanted a family. I told a friend at the time that I would marry rich and just be a stay at home mom. It is kinda funny if you think about it given im pregnant now." She said with a small smile.

"I think you could still find Rich out there. No promise he has money though." He teased her with a small laugh shaking his head. Emma shook her own head before rolling her eyes.

"You're jokes are far from funny Jones." She said as she shook her head. Killian flashed her a grin, causing Emma to laugh more.

"What can I say I'm a charmer." Killian relaxed more as they sat there, both enjoying the pounding on the roof. "What about just starting your general courses? That way you can get them taken care of and then by time you have the baby you will have an idea of what you want maybe?" He suggested looking to her. Emma thought it over before she glanced to him.

"That doesn't sound half bad. I mean it would be a lot of things taken care of and then by time Ill look in to signing up tomorrow and hopefully I can get started soon. I need to go to my moms and talk to her as well. Tell her whats going on before David does." She said with a frown on her face. It scared her to talk to her mom. Ruth would be so upset with her.

"Well don't stress it. Why don't you get some sleep. Its late and you need some rest." He told her as he stood up and and grabbed the pillow from the chair opposite of them.

"I will thank you." She said softly as she took the pillow from him and shifted on the couch, laying back. As the footsteps retreated down the hall, she closed her eyes and listened to the rain against the building. She had a lot to think about and at the same time, she didn't want to think.

Emma woke with a start, her hand moving to her stomach. Killian was in the kitchen and she remembered she was okay, she was safe. Standing up she headed to the kitchen watching as Killian moved around the room.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" He asked her setting a cup of hot cocoa down in front of her at the counter. Emma sat down and took a drink shrugging.

Alright, lots of tossing and turning. Having to talk to my mom today scares the shit of out of me. But I know I need to do it other wise it will never happen." Emma said thanking him as he set down some oatmeal.

"You will be great. I promise. Sorry oatmeal isn't much. I haven't been able to go shopping yet. Ill go tonight before I come back here. Ill also leave the extra key on the counter for you before I leave so you can come and go as you please." Killian told her as he sat down and rested back in the chair eating his own breakfast. "You are free to use the shower and anything else in the apartment. Make yourself at home." He told her with a smile as he ate. Emma smiled eating as well, her left hand on her stomach.

"Thank you. Im going to try and figure out what to do. I have lunch with my mom planned and then Regina wants to get together for a little bit after. What do you work today?" She asked curiously as she got up and cleaned her bowl out in the sink.

"I work 10 to 7. It will be late by time I get home. So I wont do to much after work. Just enough for the night." He said as he stood upwith his bowl, Emma taking it and washing it for him.

"I can do the shopping for you if you want. It wont be any trouble to me." She told him as she opened his dishwasher and put the bowls in. Killian looked to her giving her a smile.

"You sure? I don't want to have you do something you are comfortable with. I will leave money with you as well so you don't have to worry about it." He told her as he grabbed the notepad on the fridge and started writing a few things down.

"Not at all. I can help out Killian, im pregnant not broken. Let me help okay?" She said closing the dishwasher giving him a smile. Killian smiled as he looked to her giving her a small nod.

"Alright. Ill leave a list of food we will need, and If you don't mind I have a few things here I need help with. But again, totally up to you."He told her smiling. Emma smiled and placed a kiss to his cheek.

"I don't mind at all. You focus on work. Leave me a list and Ill do what I can to take care of it all. Im going to shower now. Have a good day at work." She said with a smile as she headed to the bathroom, having remembered where it was from the quick tour last night. Emma stripped down and looked at her bare body in the mirror. She could see a small bump forming, which made her smile. She suddenly felt love for this small baby growing in her.

After her shower she changed in to jeans and a her white shirt, pulling a plaid shirt on over it as she headed into the kitchen. On the counter was the key, just as he promised, along with a list and some money. She shook her head and smiled before she headed to the living room and sat down.

Turning her phone on she bit her lip ready for the attack of messages. David had called more than 20 times and his texts were just as often. She sighed before she went through them on, knowing she did need to call him back and soon. He would be at work now teaching, but she would call him when she knew he would be at lunch. She stood and slipped her shoes on before she headed to the kitchen and grabbed the lists and money putting them in her pocket before doing the same with her key.

Leaving the apartment she headed towards her moms house. The entire walk Emma was nervous, she didn't know what to expect and it scared her. She hoped that her mom would support her, after everything she just wanted support. It was sad to her she didn't have her brother on her side, but she needed her mom.

She knocked on the door once she got there before she walked in.

"Mom?" She called out taking her shoes odd before she headed towards the kitchen where she heard her mom dancing around as she baked.

"In here baby girl!" Ruth called back as she turned the radio down and moved to hug Emma. Emma smiled and hugged her back kissing her cheek.

"Whatcha baking?" She asked as she moved to sit down. "How are you doing mom?" Emma asked her tone shaky. She was scared and knew it was best to get it over with and soon.

"Cinnamon rolls. I woke up this morning and knew that it was time to make them." She said with a laugh before she looked to Emma. She was wondering what was up but knew her daughter would come to her. "Listen about Saturday. I shouldn't have been so hard on you. For years you have been trying to tell me what was going on but I never listened. Emma, darling, I am so proud of who you have become. You have grown in to such a beautiful woman. I knew all the second you walked in to my house all those years ago that I was going to be your mom. I would do anything to make sure you had a good life. David told me you feel like the black sheep of the family but baby you aren't. I promise you." She told her softly as she wiped her hands down and moved to hug her. Emma welcomed the hug gladly, holding her mom close as she cried. Ruth pulled back looking to Emma.

"Baby girl, why are you crying?" She asked wiping her cheeks frowning.

"Mom, I'm pregnant. I messed up and I don't know who the dad is but I'm pregnant and keeping my baby." She said softly looking up to her mom. Ruth gasped softly before she gave her a smile.

"Baby girl its all going to be okay. You will make a wonderful mom. I know it." Ruth said kissing her head, wiping Emma's tears off.

"You aren't upset with me? I'm not a stupid girl?" She asked softly as she wiped her face. Ruth shook her head as she sat down.

"Of course not! You have never done anything to make me think that or be upset with you. Your brother on the other hand will have some explaining to do when I talk to him next. Mary called me last night, told me what happened between you both and I was angry. Please tell me you were safe last night, wherever you ended up." Ruth said as she stood up and started making them some tea.

"I went to Killian's. He is my doctor for the time being and a new friend. I didn't know where else to go and I didn't want to talk about it last night. So I went there. I was safe, I promise." She said as she stood up and moved towards her mom.

"Well good I'm glad. I am happy you are safe. You know you can always come here if you need to. I won't ever force you to but you can." Ruth said as she swatted Emma's hand away from the dough, Emma laughing. It was like old times.

"I know. But I didn't want to burden you and Killian was closer." She said thanking her mom for the tea as she sat back down.

"You are never a burden to your mother dear. Now, let's make some cinnamon rolls and we can figure out what to do." Ruth said. Emma nodded as they got to work, talking about pregnancy and Emma going back to school.


After lunch with her mom, and a stop into Regina's, she headed to the grocery store. She had all the things on their list in the cart, and a few that neither had put down. Her mind was full of everything she had talked about with both Ruth an Regina. She had so much to worry about when it came to the baby she didn't even know where to being. She talked with the teen who checked her out, before paying and leaving the store. She walked back to Killian's and put everything away, slowly given she had no clue where anything went.

Sitting down on the couch he grabbed her phone out and pressed Davids name, holding it to her ear as she waited for him to answer.

"Mom already laid in to me." David said as he answered, laughing in to the phone. It was a stressed laugh and Emma picked up on it right away. Taking a deep breath she let go of her anger at him knowing it wasn't good to hold on to right now.

"Good. You were an ass last night. David I need my brother. I don't need a dad, not right now." She said as she pulled her feet under her smiling.

"I know. I was just so angry. Not at you mainly at myself for not protecting you." He told her. The rustling of papers in the background let her know he was still at work.

"David, All the protecting that has been happening has done nothing more than make it hard for me to do anything for myself. All through high school you did everything you could to make sure I graduated, even if it meant doing it for me. I had a shit life growing up I know that. But I have always tried to get away from it and I need you to let me. Let me fuck up, let me lose my nerve and have no clue what I'm going to do. Stop being the white knight. I'm not asking for you to back off completely but please let me try. You know I will come to you if I need to. Please." Emma said as she cried looking to the wall. It was silent on David's end for a while and Emma wondered if he hung up.

"Okay. It will be hard for me to just back off but I know you can do this Em. Mom always told me to protect you and I thought that was what I was doing but hearing you I realize I was doing more than that. I was sheltering you too much, I was taking over and doing it all for you. I'm sorry; I just didn't want you to fail. But I guess I was setting you up to fail." He told her softly as Emma smiled softly, she was glad to finally be able to get it out there.

"Thank you. I'll still need my big brother. But I need my space too. I want to be a great mom like mom. I need help of course but only when I come to you okay?" Emma said softly.

"Okay. I love you Em. I'm always going to be right here, Mary too. I went there last night and told her what happened. I'm sorry I know you probably wanted to do it yourself. But she is on your team. She knows you can do this. She's willing to help you get a job or watch the baby or whatever you need. We are here for you Em." He told her making her smiling.

"I'm not mad you told her, I knew it was going to happen. Regina wants to get everyone together for dinner tomorrow, after 7, I'm going to tell them then." Emma said nervous.

"Okay, I will be there, Mary too." He told her softly, "Em, where are you staying? Mom said it wasn't with her and Mary said it wasn't with her or the girls." He asked curiously. Emma bit her lip nervous to tell him.

"Um, I actually wound up at Killian's. I called him after you left and he said I could come crash here. So for right now I'm crashing here. I have no idea what I'm going to do next but ill figure it out as I go." She said with a nervous laugh, worried of what his reaction would be.

"Well I'm glad he is there for you. But you can come back to the apartment. I promise to behave." David said making Emma laugh.

"I will keep that in mind. But I'm good here." She said as she heard the door open and the oven ding. "I am going to go eat. I'll call you later I promise." She said as they said goodbye. Hanging up she headed to the kitchen and pulled the pizzas out.

"It smells great in here love." Killian said smiling as he set his things down on the small table in the corner. Emma smiled as she set the potholders down watching him a moment.

"Thanks but it's just frozen pizza. I had planned to cook but it was a long day, so this will have to do." She said with a laugh as she grabbed out a salad kit from the fridge and started making it.

"Hey it works for me. I'm going to hop in to the shower. Don't wait for me to eat though." He said as he headed to the bathroom. Emma smiled as she made the salad and tossed it in a bowl before setting the table. She knew she could eat but she wanted to wait for him as well. Grabbing them drinks, she set down the food on to top table before she sat down. Her hand moved to her stomach gently rubbing it as she waited. Being a moment could be something that was going to excel at.

"You didn't have to wait." Killian said smiling as he sat down taking a drink of his water.

"I didn't feel like eating alone yet. So I waited." She blushed as she started eating.

"How did talking with your mom go?" He asked curiously as he started eating himself. Emma gave a small smile as she set her pizza down.

"Well, my mom is totally supportive, and apologetic. She apologized about Saturday and we talked about it for a while. Then I told her I'm pregnant. I thought she was going to be upset and angry but she wasn't. She is supportive and told me she will do whatever she can to help me. We made cinnamon rolls and I brought some home too! They are in the fridge." She said smiling before she started eating again. Killian smiled; excited to hear that her day was better but even more so when she called the apartment home. It felt nice for him to have her there and he almost didn't want her to go any time soon.

"I'm happy to hear that! Your mom was sweet on Saturday, I'm glad she is seeing things with the family isn't going well. Have you talked to David?" He asked curiously as they ate. Emma nodded pausing a moment as she felt suddenly ill. Killian handed her his water, hers having sat empty, and got up to get more. She drank his cup down before closing her eyes trying to breathe through it. Regina was right, it hits any time. Killian knelt down besides her giving her a smile as he looked to her.

"Its passed, I'm just worried to move and have it come back." She said as his hand ran up and down her back gently.

"As long as you are breathing through it, it's going to be okay." He said softly as he stood and moved back to his chair. Emma slowly shifted as she rested back, her hand moving to her stomach.

"Once the baby comes out, she is going to pay for this." Emma teased with a laugh, thanking him for the water as she drank it. Killian laughed shaking his head.

"I'm sure she will hear all about it as she grows up." He teased her before he finished eating.

"I did talk to David, he apologized and told me he will support me and let me fuck up on my own." She said with a laugh returning to their conversation before the sickness kicked in. "I told him I need space and time to fuck up. I need to make mistakes and he has been protecting me far too much." She said as she stood up and helped him clear the table.

"That is even better to hear. My older brother Liam was the same way when we were growing up. When my mom died, Liam started taking on all my problems. He helped me solve them and didn't let me do much myself. Then when our dad left, He only became more protective. It took a severe heartbreak for him to realize I have to have problems to learn. Now he lets me fuck up all I want, though he still bails me out even from across the pond." He said with a small laugh as he put the dishes in the dishwasher, Emma packing up the leftovers and putting them in the sink.

"Whose heart was broken?" She asked softly as she moved to sit down at the counter smiling as she looked to him.

"Mine. When I was 16, I fell in love with this amazing girl. She was everything I wanted in a person and more. 5 months in to our relationship, I bought a promise ring and decided I was going to ask her to marry me someday, but until then I was going to make sure she knew how much I loved her. I went to go give her the ring, make my promise to her known when I caught her with my best friend. Will didn't know I was dating her; he had just moved back from Ireland and didn't know. She tried to tell me it was nothing but will told me the truth. It was bad. Liam had to force me out of my room to shower after 2 weeks. Will and I are still great friends; he's planning a move over here soon. Liam finally let me fight a battle and I showed him I could handle it." Killian said as she looked to him, sad for young Killian.

"Well I'm glad Liam gave you a chance to grow. You are strong and amazing." She told him as they shared a smile. "I'm going to get ready for bed. I have a few things I need to do tomorrow and try to get a job. Regina thinks she may have some ideas." She said smiling as she stood up and headed to the living room. Killian watched her for a moment his heart seeming to beat faster as she did. He needed to real his feelings in because he couldn't fall for her. There was no way it would work out. Shaking the thoughts away he called out a goodnight and headed to his room.

Emma waited until he was gone to change in to her sweats and t shirt before she laid back on the couch. Everything from the day went through her mind again, though she fell asleep faster than she thought she could.


Emma woke hearing the door close, her body suddenly feeling sick. Barely making it to the kitchen sink she emptied her stomach contents. Drinking some water she cleaned up the sink before she headed to the bathroom and showered.

Once dressed in clean clothes and feeling clean, she sat at the table smiling when she saw his note.

"Em, had to go in early today, Whale is swamped. I'll see you tonight at Regina's, I have a surprise for you after as well. –Kill."

Emma set the note down and headed to her couch, laughing as she thought about it. Sitting down she grabbed her laptop, starting to sign up for school again. She knew this time she would do it, unlike the last times when she would close it down and walk away. After the 15 minutes of filling it all out and making sure it was done right, she hit send and took a deep breath.

Deciding to do something for Killian she started with laundry, moving to cleaning the kitchen and bathroom before ending with the living room. She laid down only for a moment, her body was worn down. But the sound of her phone ringing from across the room jolted her awake.

"Hello?" She mumbled as she rubbed her eyes standing up.

"Hey loser. You have been distant lately. Everything okay?" Elsa asked softly as Emma laughed.

"Hiding away from the world. I am just too tired to deal with life at the moment. Are you going to Regina's tonight?" She asked as she stood and headed to the fridge grabbing a water bottle.

"Yeah I plan too. I've been working so many shifts I can't stay too long. What do you think their news is?" Emma laughed as she heard Elsa's question. It just made Emma smile and shake her head.

"I have no clue. I am hoping it's nothing too bad." Emma already knew what the news but she just smirked holding it in. They talked for a moment before hanging up, agreeing to talk soon. Glancing to the clock she knew she still had time until they were all meeting over at Regina's. After anther shower she dressed in blue leggings and a black long sleeved t shirt dress before she headed to the living room. A knock at the door caught her attention after she sat to put her shoes on. With a sigh she got up and headed to the door smiling as she opened it.

"Little Brot…. Oh you aren't Killian." Liam said with a small laugh and a strong accent. Emma laughed moving aside and let him in.

"That is correct; I'm Emma a friend of his." She said smiling as she closed the door smiling.

"Well it's nice to meet you lass. I'm Liam but I'm sure you already knew that." Liam said as he sat down in the chair looking to Emma.

"I did. Other than the accent, you both look alike." Emma told him as she sat down again to pull her other shoe on. "He's at work right now. He's not off until 7 and we are headed to a friend's house, but you are welcomed to come with me." She said smiling as she stood up and slipped her jacket on.

"You sure that is okay?" He asked her rising as well. Emma nodded giving him a smile.

"Of course. Regina would love to have more people at her house. She loves hosting and given she is the mayor, I'm not surprised." Emma said with a laugh leading him from the apartment, locking it after him.

"Well then I will join you. I rented a car when I landed so you direct me and I'll drive us. I'm sure Killian wouldn't want you walking that far pregnant." Liam said as they walked, Emma stilling in her tracks.

"How did you know?" She asked as she caught up to him biting her lip. Liam looked to her wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"You are starting to show a bit and you have a glow. I'm a doctor as well, pediatrics though." Liam said as he opened the passenger door for her, closing it once she was in. Emma took a moment in the silence to worry about everyone else guesing before she told them. She didn't want anyone to know until after dinner.

"I- I haven't told anyone yet. I mean I'm going to tonight that's what this dinner is about but only Killian and my brother and mom know and now I'm rambling." She forced herself to stop and breath. Liam gave her a smile shaking his head.

"No one will pick up on it anytime soon. Just relax and tell them you have been eating a lot lately if they ask." He said softly as he started the car. Emma nodded and took a deep breath before telling him where to drive. Liam told her about his flight after she asked. Getting to Regina's Emma got out and waited for Liam at the front of the car before they headed up to the door, Emma knocking before walking in.

"Hello?" She called out closing the door behind them, hanging her jacket up, Liam doing the same as well.

"Kitchen Em!" Robin called out, Emma following his voice to the kitchen.

"I hope its okay, Killian's brothers is here for a visit so I invited him." She said smiling, Robin hugging Liam before nodding.

"I haven't seen you in a long time! I didn't know you where coming." Robin said, Emma realizing they probably knew each other. Regina came in and hugged Emma, asking her how she was doing. One by one the rest of their friends came, hanging out as they waited for Killian to join them. Elsa and Emma sat on the couch, talking about Emma going back to school. Ruby and Whale stood in the corner with Mary and David, talking wedding plans. The door opening alerted them to Killian's arrival.

"Sorry there was a problem before I could clock off. Liam?" Killian said smiling as he noticed his brother was standing in the room. Laughing they hugged for a moment, Liam explaining he figured it would be a good time for a trip. Regina called them all to dinner and led them to the dining room. A they ate the conversation was easy and fun. Laughs and teases were shared all around.

As dinner came to an end, Regina tapped her glass and stood up.

"I want to thank you all for coming. There is something that needs to be told tonight. But not by me, Emma?" Regina sat back down as Emma stood up and took a moment to breathe. Telling her friends was going to be the hardest part of it she was sure.

"Um the other day, just before moms party I took a test. For once in my life I wanted to fail the test but I didn't and it took a while for me to remember what all happened. At girls night a while back I got drunk and went home with some random guy. All I remember about his is his eyes were beyond gorgeous. I did another test to confirm it and I am stalling this I know. I'm um," Emma paused closing her eyes, forcing the rears away. "I'm pregnant."

The room was silent except for the few gasps. She did her best to keep from crying, even as Killian grabbed her hand for support.

"You will be a great mom Emma." Elsa got up to hug her ruby right behind her. Soon the other followed telling her they were there for her, they had her support. She cried as David hugged her, telling her he was there for her. A few asked about gender and how far along she was but Emma told them she wasn't sure until she went to her appointment with the obgyn.

As they sat there and talked, Emma realized how loved she really was. She had people around her who wanted to be there and support her. She took a moment to take it all in. Everything was going to be okay. Though the look on Liam's face, shock and amusement, the look in his eye telling her more than she needed to know.

He thought Killian was the father. And part of her has wished he was right. Maybe their friendship could grow to be more someday and he could be the father her little one needed.


A|N: Chapter Two! I'm in love with all the support and feedback I am getting from all you. I love how much you guys love this story so far! You make it easier for me to write and get it up. The ending for this changed 5 times and each time it didn't feel right. Hopefully this one is the perfect ending. Ready to help give a little more input (I just love the ideas I get from you guys!)

One: Neal or Walsh being the dad, good idea or bad? I'm on the fence about it, it was the original plan I had but part of me wants to go another way and have it be someone else, maybe an OC.
Two: Emma moving out of Killian's. Yes or no? Killian did tell her he had a surprise but then there is Elsa who would be a perfect roommate for her. Whatcha think?

Next chapter will be out soon, I am planning on updating my other story, "A new Life" soon as well so the third chapter here will be out after that. Thank you for reading loves! See you soon.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing! All characters belong to their rightful owners. Song is Broken by Lindsey Haun.