When youre broken

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're tryin' but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in your self
When you're broken


Killian was about to lose it. Ashton had been in the back seat screaming for the last 10 miles and Emma, who had been sitting in the back, had tried everything. Ash wasn't wet or dirty, she had been fed and had her binkie but nothing worked. After another mile Killian couldn't take it he pulled over and parked getting out. He just needed a moment. Only Emma got out angry at him in that moment.

"We are going to be late to Ash's appointment." She said with a harsh tone as she looked at him. Her nerves were already on edge and Killian knew not to take it personal yet he couldn't help it. He got no sleep last night, he had to pull a double since he needed today off, they left early to head to Portland for Ash's one month check up and to meet with Emma's bio dad, and he head a headache now.
"I just need a moment Emma. Get back in the car." Killian said as he rubbed his head. Emma glared as she looked at him.

"Oh you need a moment? I'm so sorry I didn't realize. I'm with ash all day, cleaning and taking care of our daughter and yet you need a moment!?" She yelled as she shook her head. "Fine have your damn moment. I'm over this." She snapped as she got back into the car, ash no longer crying. Killian sighed as he rubbed his face knowing Emma wasn't truly mad at him, but he did know he needed to fix it. He got back into the car and started driving, glancing to her in the rear view mirror.

"Stop looking at me." She told him as she looked to Killian before looking to Ashton. She was embarrassed by what she said to him but right now, she wanted him to feel guilty. "If you didn't want to be a dad you could have told me before." Emma said, hitting him below the belt. Killian snapped his head to her wondering where the hell that came from.

"I know I've been working a lot em, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be a dad." He told her as he glanced over his shoulder before changing lanes, that much closer to being in Portland.

"You are never home, you get mad at her crying, and you just don't seem to care today." Emma said as she sat back, tears in her eyes. She knew she was being a bitch but she was tired and beyond nervous about meeting her dad.

"Emma, love, we just put an offer in on a house and I want to make sure we have the money for it if we get turned down for the loan. I worked until 5 this morning and haven't slept since Wednesday. Of course I care today, when it comes to you and Ashton I will always care. Nothing matters more than you both." He told her as he got off the freeway. Emma closed her eyes, feeling like the worse person ever. Killian shifted in his seat and placed his hand on her leg. Even when she was being a bitch to him he still cared. She placed her hand on his holding it tight as she cried, apologizing to him over and over. When they pulled up to the hospital and Killian parked, Emma got out and waited until he was out before she hugged him close to her. Killian held her as she cried, kissing her head as she buried her face in to his neck.

"I'm sorry Kill, I know you want to be a dad, you were willing to be one before i wanted to really be a mom. I'm sorry. I have no excuse for being such a bitch." She said as she pulled back and looked to him. Killian gave her a smile and kissed her, resting his forehead against hers as he pulled back.

"Never worry love; I love you, bitchy moments and all." He said with a small laugh. Emma felt butterflies as he told her he loved her. She brought him down for another kiss smiling as she let it linger more than she should have.

"I love you too. Thank you for putting up with me and for working so hard for us." She said smiling as she moved to get ash out, smiling when he took Ash's car seat and Emma's hand leading her in to the building. Emma got them all checked in as Killian sat down. He watched his daughter sleep for a moment smiling as he did. Tamara called them back before Emma could sit down, both nervous with no reason to be.


Emma paced the hotel room, Ashton lying on the bed sleeping as Killian showered. In just a few hours she would be meeting her dad and she was nervous. What if he wasn't what she hoped he would be? What if he decided he didnt want to be in her life? She stopped in front of the mirror and looked over the dress she picked, a blue lace one that fell just at her knees Her hair was curled and make up was light. Killian came out of the bathroom and stopped watching her for a moment.

"Damn." He said breathless as he looked at her. Emma smiled as she turned and looked over to him. She loved the way he looked at her, like she was the only person in the world. He moved to her smiling as he kissed her softly. "You look so beautiful." He told her with a smile as he kissed her again. Emma smiled in to the kiss as she held him close.

"Thank you. You always know how to make me feel so beautiful." She told him smiling as she placed her hands on his bare chest. "As much as I love you wearing next to nothing, you will need to put a shirt on at least." She teased letting her hands run down his chest to the top of his black jeans smirking. He laughed before he kissed her before moving away from her knowing it was best to put space between them if they wanted to leave within the next few minutes. He pulled on his white shirt and blue plaid shirt before he looked to her smiling. both sat to put their shoes on, Killian doing his best to keep Emma from getting too nervous. As they headed out of the room, Killian holding Ashton's car seat in his left hand and Emma's in his right, She took a deep breath looking to him.

"Promise me if this starts going back you make up a lie and we come back here okay?" She asked softly as they headed down to the lobby, Killian squeezing her hand with a nod.

"I promise. Ill text Liam and have him call with a lie." He told her as he held her in to the car, thanking the valet that brought it up to him. Emma sat up front with Killian, her hand wrapped tight around his as she watched out the window.

"I promise I won't be so nervous when we get there but its hard to not be." She said as she looked to him. Killian gave her a smile, checking a road sign as he turned.

"Love i get it. You don't have to explain it to me." He told her as he gave her a smile. Emma relaxed back against the seat, watching as they pulled up to the restaurant. Killian parked and looked to her as she bit her lip. "You will be great Em. He is a bloody fool if he doesn't like you." He said as he kissed her. Emma nodded and got out, waiting for him as he grabbed Ash out from the back, both smiling down at their daughter as she slept. Emma couldn't wait for the time when Ashton was up more than she was sleeping. leading the way in she told the Hostess the reservation name smiling when they were led back to a table. James stood up as they got closer, Emma looking to the man in front of her. Killian held a laugh in, to him they were spitting images of the other minus James's darker hair.

"Emma, wow its great to meet you." James said unsure if he could give her a hug. Emma made up the choice for them and stepped forward, giving him a hug. James's eyes closed as he held Emma close whispering something to her. As they pulled back Emma smiled.

"James, this is my boyfriend Killian and our daughter Ashton." She said smiling, Killian and James shaking hands before they all sat down. "I hope you haven't been waiting long, I've been a nervous mess and made us late." She said with a small laugh, taking Killian's hand in her under the table.

"It's all good. I haven't been here too long," He said smiling at her. "Why don't we go ahead and order and you can ask anything you'd like. I'm sure you have questions for me?" He said smiling as they looked over the menu, James pointing out things he enjoyed when he came with his family. The waitress came over and took their order, smiling as she left.

"What happened to my mom? Her letter made it seem like she didn't care what happened to me but I've been thinking about her a lot lately." Emma said as she looked to him, hoping it was an okay Question. James took a drink of his water before he gave her a smile.

"Well after she had you, Lynn ran away. She was upset her mom didn't seem to care about her feelings and just left. She came to visit me in college a few years later, she was pregnant again, a little boy. The state took him a few years later. After that i don't know much of what happened. I never see her or her mom any more. Not after I graduated from college and moved here." He told her softly as he looked to her. Emma nodded and thought a second before looking back to him.

"Would you have kept me if you could?" She asked softly, Killian's heart breaking as he heard her tone. He gave her hand a squeeze as James nodded.

"I wanted you more than anything. My parents didn't want me to keep you but I tried to fight your mom and grandma. I would have done anything to have you as mine." He told her softly, tears in his eyes. Emma nodded with a small smile before she changed the subject asking about him and his life now and his family. Killian texted Liam letting him now they didn't need the call any time soon.

They sat there talking for what felt like days, when it had only been a few hours. Emma told James about her past, frowning when he started crying and apologizing to her. She knew they would never have a true father daughter relationship, though she was only 23 and maybe it could happen. But she was glad he wanted to be in her life now. James and Killian got along great, both having interest in sword fighting, which had Emma laughing. She couldn't wait to see what his wife and son were like, James promising they could meet soon.


Laying in bed that night, Ash in her pack-n-play beside them, Emma cuddled closer to Killian smiling, his hands where on her back keeping her as close to him as he could.

"James and Rose are coming down next weekend. they want to meet mom and David." Emma said smiling as she kissed Killian's chin smiling. Killian grinned as he kissed her head a few times.

"It will be great to have them in town. James is a great guy." He said as he rolled on to his back, Emma placing her head on his chest smiling. They talked about what they should do with Rose and James while they were in town, making plans to see them more often. The room went silent before she sat up and grinned to him. Emma had been thinking for a few days and hoped this wouldn't come out wrong or upset him. She kissed him softly smiling as she whispered against his lips.

"Marry me Killian."


A|n: Ta-da! I know its not as long as the others. Hopefully you enjoy it just the same! Im already working on chapter 8, which is more than the original plan for this story was going to have. BUT I love writing them and I don't plan on stopping just yet. Next chapter will be Killians reply and a surprise from Liam and David. Oh plus a girls night! Leave a review and let me know what you think.