Chapter 11
Rollo arrived late to breakfast that morning. He was always on time or early because he was anxious to eat after a night of fasting. Today was different though, he had spent most of the night tossing and turning as he thought of different ways to exact vengeance from Gisla for making him so love sick. Sometime during the early morning hours he decided that at breakfast the next morning he would speak to her out right so that then she could see that it was he who had been visiting her in the dark. It was him that she had kissed. And then he would tell her that he no longer loved her and that this was the price of her pride and arrogance.
He was surprised when he did not see her there. It was true that she was rarely punctual, but he was late as well. She should be here. He sat down at the table and for the first time in his life did not feel hunger. The steaming cuts of meat did not appeal to him. The ripe fruit did not tempt him. The light and fluffy bread did not make his mouth water. Where was she? She should be here.
For a moment he sat before the table like a statue. He then placed a bite of beef in his mouth, but it tasted like ash to him. He stared at the empty spot across from him. He had planned so carefully how he would take his revenge for her insults, but now he could not remember the words he was going to say. His mind drifted to her mentioning how others were growing suspicious, but what did their suspicions even mean? He was her husband.
But then again he had denied that he was the man seen leaving Gisla's room last. Perhaps they thought she had been with another man. Even she did not know it was him. Would they punish her for such an offence? If they were in his own land and she took another without his knowing, he would have right to kill both of them.
His throat grew dry at the thoughts of what they may do to her. It was even more suspicious that her father was not asking for her. Normally when she was so late he would send someone to fetch her. Instead the Emperor went about his meal as if nothing was out of place.
He already knew where Gisla was, Rollo realized.
This only added to his own apprehension. What had they done to her?
He looked about the room in panic as if there was some clue hidden in the area that would tell him more.
"Is something amiss, Duke Rollo?" The Emperor asked while whipping his mouth.
Rollo was shocked the man was even speaking to him at all. Usually he was ignored as if he were a small child.
He considered his next actions carefully, and then spoke, "Where…ees…Gisla?" He asked, intentionally leaving his words mispronounced and slow so that they would not know the full extent that he knew the language.
The Emperor's jaw dropped in shock, "You wish to know where Princess Gisla is?"
Rollo nodded.
"She is in bed."
Rollo waited as if struggling to think of the next word and then asked, "Why?"
A wry smile crossed Charles' face, "I think God has taken it upon himself to remind her of her proper and subservient role as a woman."
After the meal was finished Rollo left the room in haste. He did not know what Charles' answer meant. Was something wrong with Gisla? Had they done something to her?
He walked towards her chambers determined to find more answers. Standing outside of her door was a group of women who scattered like a school of fish at the sight of him. One brave woman moved to block his entrance to the door of Gisla's room.
"You must not go in," she said in a shaking voice.
Rollo looked around for support. He easily had the strength to move her aside, but did not wish to harm her.
An elderly woman with a stern face stepped forward and said, "Move aside Adelhied. He has a right to enter."
Reluctantly she stepped out of his way and he entered the darkened chamber.
Gisla's body seized with yet another sharp pain. It was her time of bleeding again. A time of pain and sickness. Her head throbbed and her stomach churned violently. Why couldn't God have made her a man? The curse he had given to women was too great.
She heard the click of her door unlatching and looked up to see if it was the maid she had sent to fetch her bread. But it wasn't. It was the heathen.
A fresh wave of sickness passed over her. What was he doing here? Was her suffering not already great enough?
She wanted nothing more than to run as he drew closer to her. But the pain would not even allow her to uncurl her body. She would have to submit to whatever he wanted.
He came to stand by her bedside and she looked up at him with wary eyes. He then did something unexpected. He placed a hand on her forehead.
She could not even place the context of someone acting like this until she remembered something. Her mother had once done this when she was a child to see if she was feverish. Gisla was outraged that someone had told him she had been taken ill. Why would anyone concern him with such a thing?
He let his hand linger for a moment and then removed it. Gisla wondered where she had placed her knife. She knew she may need to overcome her suffering to fend him off.
However, Gisla did not need her knife. He looked her over once more as if deciding something and then turned and left.
Rollo stood in the cool night air listening to the nighttime noises. They were so different than the ones he once knew. There was nothing wild about them anymore, instead it was always the soft buzzing of people. He missed the sound of the owl calling, and the howl of the wolves in the distance. He wondered if he heard those things now if he would be able to think more clearly. He knew he needed a sound mind to decide what he was going to do next.
Only this morning he was on the very brink of leaving this city and seeking his fortune else where. Now it felt like everything and nothing had changed all at once.
He had wanted nothing more than to disgrace Gisla before he left, but now that was not possible. She was ill. With what he did not know.
He did not think it was too serious she was not feverish. But the severity of her illness was not his concern. He was worried about how when he saw her so pale in bed he felt great concern. The problem was he was not as free of her love as he thought. In that moment he would have given her anything she would have asked, then she could have openly insulted him, and he would not have cared.
He realized that she was the Sul and he was Hati. She was the sun he would always be chasing. Even if he left now he would only want to go back to her.
This was no good. He needed to leave, but he could not escape her pull. Amends needed to be made. He could not give up.
Gisla's chamber was quiet, but he could tell that she was not sleeping. There was certain kind of restlessness inside that he could feel.
"You came back." She said, and Rollo realized that she must have seen his outline by the faint light of the moon.
"Yes, I did." He answered, still unsure exactly what he was doing there.
"I thought you would always be gone from me." Gisla said her voice strangled from tears.
The sound of her crying pierced his heart like an arrow and he knew he would never escape. For better or for worse he loved Gisla.
"No. Never. I will always come back to you." He said crawling into bed towards her.
"Please, you must not be near me." She suddenly said.
"Why?" Rollo asked, confused by her ever changing opinions.
"I am unclean." She mumbled.
"No, never to me. Come near." He said moving to curl around her.
"No. You do not understand. I may get blood on you." She insisted.
"That does not matter. I have been covered in others blood many times."
"Oh," Gisla said, as if surprised he was not more offended by her condition.
She settled back against him and he held her close, "Just the same, I am glad you are here." She told him.
"So am I," He answered truthfully, "have you much pain?"
"Yes, but it is better now that you are here."
He held her closer and let his hand drift to the spot above her womb, hoping to protect her from any pain she might feel. In that moment he made up his mind that he would never leave her again.
Author's Note: Please review, they mean so much to me.
