Disclaimer: Teen Titans isn't mine
"Speech"
Thoughts
It had been a long day, as it usually was for blacksmiths, who seemed to have a never ending list of things to do - making random utility things for people, doing repairs, forging weapons for knights... the man sighed as he slung his knapsack over his back and began the long trek home - because for god knew what reason, his forge was situated a distance away from the village, although yes, there was a mine nearby so that made hauling ore a little easier.
It was all a moot point to a tired man.
He shivered a little as the heat from the forge wore off and the cold air set in. As twilight approached, everything always began to cool down, often much more than one might have expected, so he knew he had to hurry lest he get caught in the frozen darkness of winter, which could very easily kill a man if he was not careful. That was why, as he hurried, he had to look twice as he saw a bit of color out of the corner of his eye to see what it actually was.
It was a girl, fast asleep against a tree. She stirred a little as he approached her.
"Miss? What are you doing all the way out here alone? You'll freeze to death if you sleep there tonight."
Jinx opened one eye. "I'll be fine," she murmured softly. "Just... let me be alone."
"But-"
"I'm fine," she snapped. "Just go home."
"But you'll die-"
She sighed. "Thanks for your concern. But I won't. Now go home before it gets dark."
The man looked at her oddly one more time before continuing on his way, leaving Jinx alone in the fading twilight once again. She closed her eyes again and sighed. Why did it come to this? Raven, why? Why did you never tell me you were a demon?
She bit her lip. You were probably afraid that I would leave you if you told me. If I knew from the start, would I have gone with you to begin with? Or am I judging you too harshly now just because you never told me? Jinx shivered, though not from the cold. Is being a demon in itself such a bad thing? Or are they just misunderstood as well? Guess I'll never find out, since she never tells me anything anyway. Ugh. Why are you so stubborn, Rae? I just want you to be happy.
Okay, maybe that's not going to happen so easily. I just don't want you to be miserable and alone. Jinx opened her eyes.
"I'm an idiot."
She looked around, watching as the darkness, very empty darkness, closed in around her. Could I just go back? Yeah, fat chance. Just let me go waltzing back in there and say, "Yeah, remember when I said fuck you, I'm out of here? I didn't mean it. Still love ya babe." Like I could do that. Damn it all.
But I can't just let her go around destroying everyone too, can I? That would be bad. I mean, even if the fuckers deserve it... I don't even know what to think. Why am I even thinking so much? Justifying everything is like... something Raven would do. She looked at the ground. Raven... She stood and began walking around, eyes slowing adjusting to the dark around her.
It reminded her of Avalon, though this forest felt peculiarly desolate, probably because it belonged to the harsh, mortal world and not to the magical timelessness of Avalon. Or maybe it was the absence of another presence there, another presence that, however moody, she had gotten used to and felt uncomfortable without. Yes, there was a measure of comfort there for sure.
I guess they're right when they say "You don't know what you've got until you lose it." When you fuck up and lose everything important to you... Maybe not everything important. Look on the bright side of things. I'm still alive. I've still got all my powers, nobody hates my guts, I- I'm really stupid. Bright side of things my ass. I should've tried talking to her instead of being scared of her for no reason. Like, Rae's not that scary. Actually, no, she's goddamn scary. But still... I could've tried.
I did try. She was gonna kill me!
Maybe I caught her at a bad time. I should've tried again. She said she'd talk to me after but I didn't even give her a chance. I didn't even wait for her to answer me. What the fuck, Jinx. Why are you so stupid?
She sighed again. What do I do now?
Nothing, I suppose. I don't want to do anything. I just...
But you can't mope forever.
She shook her head. I can't. And yet, as night fell, she still did not move.
"We need to go back-"
"Dude, we got our asses kicked with a bunch of guys there to back us up. And now you want us to go back alone, and injured?"
Richard rubbed his head, clearing away the dizziness, and clutched his ribs, which still stung a little. "Yes."
Victor rolled his eyes. "Hate to say it, dude, but the little man's right. We're not taking her down."
"Yeah! Wait, you called me little-"
"Save it for later, Gar."
Richard sighed. "We can't just let her go, though."
Garfield shrugged. "She didn't do anything wrong -" Richard glared at him. "Right, parents. My bad."
"But she's not an immediate threat," Victor pointed out. "Listen. There've been three messengers from villages near the shores a little bit north of here, saying that there have been raiders... inhuman raiders. Not your normal sort of bandit."
"So those guys Kori's country is fighting."
"Possibly. If we're about to get attacked too, now isn't the time to be chasing some elusive sorceress that we can't even fight. If anything, we might need to beg for her help-"
"Over my dead body," Richard hissed, getting up and storming out of the room.
They blinked as the door slammed.
"Obsessive much?"
"He doesn't listen to anyone when he gets stubborn like that," Victor sighed. "Can't blame the man though. He has personal reasons to hate her."
"But there are bigger problems-"
"I know that. And he knows that too. I guess it's partially my fault. I picked a bad time to mention that we might need her help."
"Think it's gonna be that bad?"
"Ya never know, little man."
"Hey!"
Victor chuckled. "Can't deny the truth, green bean. You're short, and that's that."
"Yeah, but I'm stronger than you."
The blue armored knight stood over him and raised an eyebrow. Garfield gave a sheepish smile. "Err- maybe not."
"Might want to work on standing your ground before bragging about your strength," he smirked. And then the smile dropped from his face. "Anyway, we should go look for him before he does something stupid."
"And for you to say you're sorry for-"
"I know."
The skeletons of burnt houses left faint columns of smoke rising into the air. Though it was winter, there was an odd heat in the air, crackling and scorching like that of fire. There was fire, still burning on the ground, burning a dangerous crimson color, unlike any fire that they had ever seen before.
A masked knight knelt by one of the pillars of flame, inspecting it carefully. After a few moments, he got up, and shaking his head, turned back to the two people behind him.
"It's magic, that's for sure," Roy muttered. "But that's all I can tell."
"Guess we'll have to ask Richard to come see," Garth replied.
"He won't be able to tell what it is either, if Roy can't. We need someone skilled at magic to figure out what this is."
"So a sorcerer. Karen, you know that's forbidden-"
"I wasn't suggesting we actually do it. We don't really need to figure out what this stuff is. Just what made it, and how to kill... whatever it was."
The dark skinned woman looked down at the ground, where there was an odd clawprint in the snow, definitely not that of any animal they had ever seen.
"A demon. That's what all the villagers are calling them."
"What's left of them anyway..."
"They're defenseless, Roy."
"Yeah, well that's because Sir Richard is too busy chasing someone else to figure out that we're going to need to defend our people eventually."
Garth and Karen looked at each other, then turned back to him. It was true, they all knew that the leader of the Titans could be overly obsessive sometimes, and now was definitely not a good time for that. Not that there ever was a good time for it, but not now, when they were under threat of being attacked.
It was particularly worrying because Kori was not someone unfamiliar to them, so they knew she was a very good warrior. And even she was, if not a little frightened by these things, then respectful of their strength. The country of Tamaran had a very powerful army, stronger than that of Camelot's, anyway, and even they were having trouble defending against these things.
The three of them turned back to the burnt village, where there were only a few buildings left standing.
Karen sighed. "Well, not much we can do here boys. Let's head back and go get some help for these people. And tell Richard to get his head out of his ass."
It's been a long time. He stretched his limbs. I had forgotten what it was like to be free. Ah, the air is fresh here. Though, it does lack the heat of my homeworld. But that can be easily remedied.
Two pairs of glowing eyes looked up at the sky, the unfamiliar blue sky, cloudless, where the sun was shining brightly, casting a warm glow over the land. Although, it is not too bad here. Perhaps this world is just fine as it is. Though I did prefer Avalon. I should go visit sometime. I wonder if my daughter is still there.
Screams reached his ears and he grimaced, eyes narrowing. Foolish mortals. If you did not struggle, this would all be so much easier. He put on a rather pensive expression. Though, had you not antagonized me to begin with, perhaps this never would have happened. But you are all beyond hope. You proved that, didn't you, my dear Arella.
Though yes, it is presumptuous to assume that all mortals are the same. There are those who are possessed of a different breed. Sorceresses, they are known to ordinary mortals, though the name matters not. They have proven to be a little more receptive than the ordinary blind man. Perhaps not by much.
Mortals are all blinded by appearances and desires. What seems to be an anomaly is one. What appears as gold is gold. What they deem as justice is justice. There is nothing else, save for what they sense and feel. A smirk crossed his features. It is not a bad way of living, for the mind that is so confined by the limitations of a mortal life. But those of us who think and see more cannot live this way, for we feel and wonder about the world as a whole, about everything and how we live in it, not just ourselves as individuals. Desire becomes irrelevant, even our own lives become insignificant. And so in the end we can only do what we feel.
In that regard, perhaps I am no better than a mortal, for I have reached the same conclusion while knowing more. The only difference is power. Yes, I am the one who purges, by fire, the ignorant and the stupid, those who know nothing and think they are fit to judge the world. A fool who does not know that he is a fool has no place in this plane of existence.
The screams died away and he got up, watching as smoke rose into the sky and the stench of blood filled the air.
Perhaps I am a fool as well. Yes, we are all fools. It is merely the extent to which we realizes it that defines our worth. And it does not matter whether I purge those who are worth nothing or not. The outcome is the same.
"Do you understand?" He murmured, voice a deep, low rasp. "I am sure you do, my daughter."
Across the ravaged land, a few fires were still burning here and there, though curiously they seemed to flicker a little bit above the ground, requiring nothing to continue burning, their immense heat scorching the air. But as Jinx drew closer to one, it became apparent that the fire itself was no warmer than a normal fire - merely, it radiated more heat and in a wider radius, almost like a miniature sun… except for the fact that it was crimson.
The area around the fire was warm enough, but there was something unnatural about them - probably the fact that they were obviously magical in nature - that made people stay away from them and go back to the uncomfortable cold. Perhaps it was because she was a sorceress and so she was used to it, or maybe because the aura of the fires reminded her of Raven, but they did not repel her so much. If anything, there was something alluring about their mystic luster, something very entrancing. Too entrancing.
She tore her gaze away and looked back at the burnt village, biting her lip. Should I go? Or... It would have been easy to just pretend that she was some random traveler, or better yet, a girl who had also lost her home in the raids, but some part of her wanted to help these people, and to do that, she required her powers, though there wasn't really that much she could do with them. Raven was the one with healing, and with the ability to fix things. All she could do was destroy.
Unless... I can somehow manipulate good luck too... That would be asking too much, wouldn't it? I guess I can try...
Jinx got up and walked over to one of the buildings, touching the cold, wet wood. Good luck huh... so maybe it was good luck that the fire only burned down their house but the pieces of wood that were on fire fell away before anything inside got burned.
Pink light flared up and inside, food began to appear, tables and chairs remade themselves, a loom was recreated, everything began to reform. Jinx blinked a few times, then smiled. Damn. Didn't know I could do that. Figures being able to do stuff with bad luck means you can do the opposite too. She looked at the house. Though, not really much I can do about that. They'll have to rebuild that themselves. But the rest...
She walked between the buildings, sending her powers into them and watching as things began recreating themselves. Though, she noted, anything that seemed to be completely destroyed or gone was not remade - some houses lacked any sort of furniture after her magic finished its work, and others were missing the metal cross that hung over every mantle.
Passing through a store, she smiled a little as most of the wares reappeared on the shelves, though there were a few empty spaces here and there.
A child came out of a nearby building and hid behind the corner of one of the still standing buildings, watching her do her work. She noticed him and after a couple moments of staring at each other, she went inside the half-rebuilt store and took a couple apples from the ruins of the storeroom and offered one to him, smiling slightly. He smiled back and reached out to grab it-
"Thomas! What are you doing?!"
A woman rushed out of the building and hurried him away, glaring at Jinx.
"But mommy-"
"Shush. Go inside."
"But mommy, I'm hungry."
"We'll get you some gruel to eat. Just go inside."
The boy put on an annoyed face, but did as his mother told him to, and disappeared into the building. The woman gave a warning glare to Jinx again, before following her child, leaving Jinx out in the cold.
The pink haired sorceress sighed. Now I know how Raven felt. I mean, I'm not exactly saving lives, but couldn't they be just a little grateful to me for trying to help? Or at least not be rude. I guess the kid wasn't scared though. Just the old hag.
Jinx passed by a few more buildings and restored them the best she could before moving on out of the village, somewhat unsatisfied. Okay. Very unsatisfied. But nothing's ever easy. Can't expect things to go great the first time around. Right?
She looked at the sky, watching the clouds drift slowly across it, occasionally blotting out the sun, white puffs against a clear background. It was funny that the daylight seemed too harsh to her; she knew that ordinarily, this would be considered a beautiful day, but probably because she had lived in Avalon for so long, the light was grating and unwelcome - she was used to dimmer light.
And, beautiful day or not, there was nothing beautiful about walking around, seeing the homes razed everywhere, the corpses of the dead littering the ground, blood staining the white snow... as far as sympathy went, she did feel bad for the people who were the victims of these attacks, though her empathy was a little limited by the fact that she knew that they wouldn't be grateful if she tried to help them. But she still wanted to help. Part of her couldn't avoid that urge, to do something while everyone was in trouble, to at least be somewhat useful, but then part of her sympathized with Raven, who must've had years - decades... centuries - of dealing with ungrateful people who never recognized that she was saving their lives.
And long years of being alone. Jinx bit her lip. And I only made her suffer again. Why am I so selfish? Ugh. I supposed I was thinking about what I wanted. But I don't even want to be away from her! I just don't want her to be so... so... destructive. And angry and all that shit. I just wish she felt a little better about people. Hell, I wish I felt better about people.
I guess it all comes down to helping people even though you know they're shit. Playin' the saint here...
Jinx looked up as she sensed another presence somewhere nearby, a dark, malicious presence that seemed as if it belonged to something unliving… or rather, something that had never been living at all, maybe some sort of magical construction. She shuddered as it began moving again. Jinx hurried forward, not wanting to wait for it to catch up to her. But it seemed to be faster than she was, quickly closing in on her, filling the air with some sort of foul stench, though it was not really a smell - more of a sensation of danger. Panic sprung up in her, but she fought it down quickly and continued moving, not daring to look back.
And suddenly, its presence was everywhere, scorching the air with raw heat, its potent aura seeming as if it were suffocating her. She fought it off, struggling to keep her terror in check, trying to run, but her feet moved at an achingly slow pace, her body not obeying her mind's command. Without having to look, she knew it was right behind her, the burning flames practically searing the clothes off her back, but she still didn't turn.
The creature stopped as she did, mirroring her own movements as though it were stalking her, but it must have known that she was aware of its presence. Perhaps it was just deciding not to be hostile, or perhaps it was even wary of her. Jinx focused all of her energy into sensing it, working her way through the dense, fiery aura, toward its body.
It noticed her probing, shifted, then moved away, taking its uncomfortable heat away with it. And slowly, ever so slowly, she turned her head and looked behind her, then breathed a sigh of relief as she saw that there was nothing there.
And then, she blinked. Were her eyes fooling her?
It had been there for just a moment, so she couldn't be too sure, but she thought she had seen dead bodies, scattered all about, and among them, a dark cloaked figure that seemed suspiciously like...
No. It was just my imagination. Great. Now I'm going crazy.
She took a deep breath and sat, holding her head. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down... without realizing it, she began crying, tears streaming down her face. Raven... she buried her head in her arms and wept silently.
Alone again. In the darkness, where there was no light or sound, everything was empty void bereft of all sensation. She was back in all too familiar numbness, which now she knew she loathed, yet could not live without; like a drug, it was there, addictive, alluring, chilling. Despairing.
People come. People go. In this endless cycle, individuals are droplets of water in the vast ocean, each one insignificant, each one no different than any other. It does not matter which droplet flows past this point in space and time. Just another soul. Just another one... As am I. What does it matter what I want? In the end, I am nothing. She closed her eyes. I was only something when you were around.
Now, I am not even part of that ocean anymore. I am merely a grain of salt, cast ashore. And like all other minerals, absorbed back into the earth from which I came, feeling nothing, being nothing. She tried to clench her hand, but could not feel the muscles move. Feeling nothing... it is an odd sensation, but maybe it is better. And yet I hate it.
There is something there, right beyond my reach, something waiting, but just out of sight, something that spurns me like a cur, and so dangles itself right before my nose, and is gone as I reach for it. She frowned deeply. Flecks of black and grey flew wildly through her violet eyes, though she kept her face calm. This pain... how can I deal with it? I am not strong enough to bear it head on... And yet I try. In the end, it will tear me apart, if it has not done so already. Heart and soul against mind and body. Once detached, now one cannot live without the other. One is dying. And so the other fades with it.
To weep, envy. To desire, lust. To live, pride. The vices that grip our lives can only be banished in death. Around her, darkness swirled dangerously, crackling with energy. Death. It is always there, right at the outskirts of my senses, and all that remains to be done is welcome it. After that... She bared her body, feeling the sheer power surge around her. Her back arched, chest pushed out, mouth opened in a silent scream, nerves overloaded with pure feeling. And then it tore in, rending her soul, sapping her of all energy away, leaving her drained, gasping for air. A natural reflex. When the body feels like it is dying... She coughed violently a few times as the energy kept tearing into her, ripping her flesh to shreds, tearing into her soul itself. She collapsed to her knees, feeling the sensation of life within her body fading quickly.
But not quickly enough. The other half of her, the other inhuman half protested, fighting back against the darkness surrounding her body. No! This is what I want. This is what I need-
Yet her basic instinct - no, not mine. My other half's - still would not give in, and she could feel her heart beating shakily, trying to withstand the assault on her body. The darkness about her lessened, faltering, and she could feel the life return to her. She let out a long, low gasp. Please!
The storm, whirling about her, intensified once more and tore at her physical body again, shredding her flesh, rending her apart, and through the pain, she could feel the cold bliss of death waiting for her. Finally, the calm in her face broke and she squeezed her eyes tightly shut, anger... no, despair?... written plainly there, though at least there was nobody there to see it. Nobody to see me in such a pathetic state.
Blood trickled out of the corner of her mouth as another wave of power wracked her body, but then suddenly it began dying away as something within her fought it off. It was only the slightest sensation of uneasiness, but it was enough. Everything died away and she was alone again, laying there on the ground, her body broken and bleeding, but still alive.
Damn it. She tried to move, but most of her muscles had been torn to shreds, past their point of functionality, and several of her organs had been damaged. One of them was damaged. The one that governs the soul, that brings life, which I forfeit long ago... at least I'm finishing the act now. She knew she was dying - the injuries were too severe. Had she been a weaker person, she would've died already, but as it was, death merely began encroaching on her senses, until she was only aware of her own, shallow breathing, and the fading emotions in her eyes.
And the ravens flocking around her. As soon as she realized what they were doing - as soon as she realized that she wasn't quite dead yet - her eyes flew open.
"No..." she whispered. Her voice was saturated with anguish. "Why?"
They swirled around, healing her damaged body, crying softly as they ruffled their feathers against her. She closed her eyes again, refusing to look, a terrible sense of failure filling her heart.
"Why?" She whispered again. Her lips worked furiously, but noiselessly.
Because, their dark stares seemed to reply. It is not time for you to die yet. You are not as worthless as you seem, Raven.
Raven sat up, feeling a slight sense of warmth - and pain - return to her. "I wanted to die so badly," she whimpered. "I wanted-"
One of the raven's eyes flashed pink, as if to contradict her. She bowed her head, violet hair falling around her like a curtain.
I was always the selfish one. Despite the fact that I can so clearly discern what other people feel, I never gave a shit about what they wanted. It was always about me. Me, me, me. What do I want? What do I think? Such hubris... I never even bothered to care about what Jinx wanted. I'm so stupid. I'm so...
Her lips pressed into a thin, hard line. Would you forgive me? Would you... she let go in a slow, defeated breath. No. Nothing to break this solitude now. Never again. Enough is enough. She looked around at the ravens, who had begun to move away from her again.
I must feel nothing. I musn't think about these things. Breathe slowly. In, out. Azarath, metrion... zinthos... She whispered the three words again, trying to calm herself, to regain control.
"Azarath, metrion, zinthos... Azarath, metrion, zinthos..."
Void. Nothingness. Complete emptiness. She was drifting away in timeless, spaceless oblivion, completely and utterly motionless, not herself anymore, but a wisp of energy, flowing in the massive universe, the stars, the heavenly bodies spinning around her... eons passing, unperturbed, in final, blissful peace, a peace that was not death, but wholeness with everything... traveling through the endless space, infinite darkness broken only by the specks of colored light, deep crimson, glowing azure, bright gold, lustrous pink-
Jinx. She shook her head violently. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. Calm down. Subdue all emotion. I don't care about anything -
A streak of water ran down her cheek. She gritted her teeth, and mouth trembling, forced herself to be silent, desperately trying to regain some of that lost numbness.
