"Killers everywhere, it ain't no place to run
Forgive me for my wrongs, I have just begun." – Rick Ross, Purple Lamborghini

- J – H – D -

There's a saying in Gotham City among us criminals.

When we want to scare the hell out of one another? Heh, we just take turns telling Joker stories.

I can hold my own and I know the scum populace of Gotham pretty damn well. (I've worked for most of them after all.) We're all bad cats for sure. But there's one consistent rule everyone follows around these parts no matter who the hell you are.

Don't fuck with the clown. Period.

It's not a bravery thing. It's not an ego thing.

It's a sanity thing.

… It's a not wanting to be put through hell before you die a slow horrible death thing.

Understand this. I've gone into missions TRYING to die. I'm no coward.

It's just a rule of thumb. The clowns? You steer clear of. And of course I knew who Harley Quinn was before it all went down.

The Joker's lady and his prize. Her texts from her 'friend' when we boarded the chopper? I knew whose side I needed to be on way before Waller sent us out to our death in Midway City. I saw the squad and I knew the Joker's girl is the one you needed to be on good terms with.

Definitely, not the Australian dude with the boomerangs and unicorn dolls. Not Croc and his ugly ass.

Or the cliffhanger guy… rest in peace... no offense.

Little did I know that little strategic partnership may have come back to haunt me. Right now, I'm sitting in a car with armed strangers, a black sack over my head and I don't know where hell I'm going. Remember, I'm allegedly going to meet up with the Joker and his gang. And this is on the word of a guy I don't 'know' know. His name was Johnny and he seemed quite up the ladder in Joker's operations. We met up at some shady street about ten minutes ago, the dude not willing to say much and my dumb ass jumped right in the car no questions asked.

As if I had a choice?

Again here I am in another shitty situation, Waller once again acting like she gave me a choice. 'Do this for me' she commanded. 'I'll shave off even more time… I'll give you more visits to your daughter, make it worth your while.' She tempted. 'All you have to do is be my rat.' she finished like the cold bitch she was. Feeding information to her while working alongside the most dangerous criminal mind in the world didn't seem like a tall task to her.

Simple enough.

I never had a choice to begin with. Why does she always talk to me like she's giving any of us a choice?

I get her angle though. Waller respects Joker. 'The clown gets shit done' she said so admirably. Getting back Harley the way he did was impressive to say the least, not to mention his pedigree in the crime world. Taking into custody a guy like Joker is a tall task. Besides Waller wanted him on the streets. She wanted to feed off the network that is his power. And you can't have Joker's power with him being contained…

So this is my suicide mission. She wanted me to find any weakness and intel on this guy and harness this ticking time bomb for herself… just like she tried to control the Enchantress. And we all know how that went…

Of course if something goes wrong and I bite the bullet?

She couldn't give a fuck less.

SCREEECH!

The tires screeched and the car came to a jarring stop, making me almost bump my head against the front chair.

"Sweet Tooth be quick and get him to the boss. He's losing patience." I heard Johnny order as I was roughly pulled out of the car.

"Yo ease up!" I yelled out as I was grabbed by the arm and pushed to my feet like a rag doll.

The bag came off quick and I blinked a bit, adjusting to the dirtied corridor, lit by blinking florescent lights. The rumbles came next. I was hearing thumping music literally shaking through the walls. Bass heavy and grinding. Sounded like some of the music that Zoe would listen to… she called the band Skrillex or something like that. Or was it a Dead Mouse?

Eh, I'm too old. I'm definitely a 70s and 80s guy myself. Just sounded like noise to me.

"No funny business, understood?" Johnny glared at me with a serious face, right next him a tall muscular behemoth of a clown giving me his own scowl.

This must be Sweet Tooth, the muscle of the gang. Six foot six of hulking clown. His hair looked like fire, and his muscles covered by some strange looking Mad Max overalls. Nothing sweet about him.

What about Johnny's looks? Well let's just say the dude looks like the quintessential henchman in a cheap suit.

Joker's quintessential bitch.

"I thought ya'll were clowns." I didn't appreciate the rough treatment. "Isn't it always time for funny business around these parts?"

A growl from Sweet Tooth as he pulled me by jacket was the only reply I got. Sure he could probably beat my ass hand to hand, but showing weakness is a way to get killed real fast around these parts. I gave him no satisfaction of a scared reaction. I'm no punk.

"Put him down." Johnny said it all too calmly. "The Boss is waiting and he wants him in one piece. You don't want him angry understood?"

The giant man of a clown scoffed at me, those red bloodshot eyes not leaving as he shoved me forward. A druggie on roids is always a fun problem to have.

The music was getting louder and a little clearer. It didn't take too long of navigating this run down warehouse until a trap door let us in. The music and ambiance hit me hard. I'm not really into the rave scene but this looked like an underground party to end all parties. Hard drugs and alcohol were bottomless pits here for sure. I recognized some top mobsters out in the corners in the dark tables surrounded by their mutual gang banger friends… lots of pretty young ladies dancing quite exotically.

And by exotic I mean strippers. Lots and lots of strippers… some of them giving me the nice wink and suggestion to mingle. Tempting. Heh, I think there were more stripper poles here than all other strip joints combined in Gotham really. Joker knows how to party eh?

"My oh my… finally." I heard that voice shoot through the PA of the club. "Turn off the music!" The Joker's voice of God commanded and it shut off almost instantly. The once alive criminal crowd turned dead silent.

The control this guy commanded… sickening.

"Look who graces us Harley…" The King smirked, sitting at a table on the highest point, his girl all over him in quite the revealing hot pink top. These two dressed the part of the insane duo. Joker with his mix of James Bond and Bozo the clown. Harley with her sexy Lolita clown girl outfit with the short jean shorts.

Brangelina look out. They'd be quite the good looking couple minus the crazy part.

"Oh my god, Shot!" Harley giggled, now sitting so innocently on the boss' lap. "I knew you'd come!"

I gave a simple wave and a nod, now all the sudden being the center of attention in the Joker's club lair. It felt a little constrictive really. Like the darkness was trying to crush you under the stares of killers and maniacs. I noticed how many of them in here were complete freaks… clown masks… make up… I haven't even described the knives and blades décor.

Do they call this style 'Serial Killer chic'?

"I know we're all here to celebrate the return of our queen." Joker gently motioned Harley aside with the pat on her rear, standing and looking straight at me. "But we all must thank our newest member to the family for even letting this celebration take place… I'm sure you all know Deadshot. The man that never misses. Give him all your attention."

It was hard to tell but it felt even more silent, all beady eyeballs on me as they were sizing me up. Some girls giggled… most of the men scoffed. I felt like Michael Jackson in that Smooth Criminal music video before he hit the jukebox with that sweet flip of that quarter from a hundred feet away. I didn't see a jukebox… but I so I could've used it right now.

"Without this man, my queen wouldn't be here." Joker made a dramatic sigh, slowly turning to the people he called his empire. "So raise your drinks… your knives… and your guns… or whatever you got! Welcome Deadshot to the family! Play that music and let the party recommence... DJ play... my music..."

The music sent the place into cloud nine again. The weapons and glasses were raised as the crowd worshiped their leader. The entire room yelled out in a primal scream, suddenly downing their shots and the party continuing as if nothing had stopped it to begin with. Joker and Harley made their way down from their cozy throne, with that crazy girl bouncing up and down in a skip. She grasped onto my hand really hard as she pushed her way into my space.

"I knew you wouldn't chicken out. I love that you're here!" Harley seemed so genuinely excited to see me. She seemed really sweet about it. Guess we really are friends?

"This beats Belle Reve… not gonna lie." I glanced around, as she grasped my hand even tighter shaking it.

"Come on admit it... My puddin' is tossing us one hell of a party huh?"

"Uh… us?"

"Yes… Floydy, what do you think of the shindig? Good enough for a cultured guy like yourself?" Joker's presence always darkened the mood, his cane aiding his slow methodical walk, looking at me all too carefully.

Joker hadn't really done anything yet he always feels like he's doing something to you. It was just a normal conversation but even then the Joker makes everything so on edge. I guess I'd call it an aura? A... bright evil... purple and green aura?

Too tense. I deal with this kind of stuff in one way really… joke my way out.

"Ya'll ever seen the movie Blade?"

They both only looked at me blankly.

"You know when the black vampire slayer comes into a club, with a bunch of pasty looking vampires ready to tear him apart? Yeah, that's what this feels like… that's a perfect description of what this is."

"Huh, that sounds like I am Legend!" Harley titled her head in that cute way of hers. "I love that movie!"

"No… Blade is an actual good movie…" I replied dryly.

"Pshhh, whatever Shot! I think the lead in I Am Legend is totally cute." She shrugged, only to look back at Joker innocently. "But not as cute as you of course!" She pecked him getting little reaction from her 'puddin'.

"... Basically yeah the party is poppin'. I'm impressed." I finally replied, giving the two what they'd been wanting to hear.

Joker just chuckled now curiously, his dead beady eyes not leaving me yet again. "Heh… heh… I like you Floyd. You have a sense of humor. I like that…"

I'm liked by the Joker… nice…

"Just impressed huh? You're a kidder Shot... this party is amazing!"

"And it's only getting started boo boo bear." The Joker wrapped his arms around Harley's naked mid-riff, hounding her in front for all to see.

Only this guy can make boo boo bear sound like the creepiest thing anyone could ever say.

"Speaking of bears, when am I going to see that rug you had ready?" Harley whispered suggestively into his ear, a nibble on his ear a little more incentive for Joker to comply.

"Heh-heh-heh… We're on our way now… just thought you wanted to enjoy the party I made for you baby doll."

"I'm warmed up now hun… let's go." She purred back.

Do they always gotta pull this lovey dovey shit right in front of me… Really?

"H-hey hey… before you all go get freaky… I came here for business." I had enough of the theatrics. "You brought me here Joker and I'm all ears."

A sigh is all I got for a reply.

"Come on Floyd my boy…" Joker took Harley in his arms again. "In this part of town its pleasure before business… get used to it kiddo."

"Bye bye!" Harley added punctually.

"Whoa whoa, what am I supposed to do then?" I had my hands up in disbelief.

"Duh, it's a party Shot…" Harley huffed, glancing around with a roll of her blue eyes. "All of its yours… I think a lot of girls here would love to get a piece of fine chocolate like yourself."

Chocolate?

A fine piece of chocolate?

"Oh speaking of which… JOHNNY!" Harley screamed out in a high pitch yell, making me wince a bit.

"Yes ma'am…" Johnny droned, walking in like the servant they made him.

"Where's my gift to Shot?!" Harley poked his forehead repeatedly, not knowing what personal space quite meant.

"It's at the bar as you instructed…" Johnny seemed quite annoyed, taking each poke with no ounce of dignity to tell her to stop.

"Cool!" The Queen giggled eagerly. "Shot, go over there and pick it up! I spent a lot of time on it… I hope you love it!"

"Drinks… women… men... whatever you want or swing towards Floyd. HAHA!" Joker made the offer with a nudge of my shoulder, laughing all the while. "Like I said, get used to this. This will be your life from now on! Mi casa… is your CASA!"

The two clowns once again made off without a care, this their reality they created. They were in their element. They were in their world. I looked on a bit pissed that I couldn't just get the info I needed and just get out. By the time I came to, this party was firing on all cylinders and I was just a spec in the pandemonium.

I refused a few girls who made pass as I made my way over to the bar, thinking what kind of gift Harley had for me and how much Whiskey I could down to make this night go by faster. As I approached the bar the masked bartender in a yellow happy face mask placed a box in front of me. I took a seat, glancing at the rainbow gift wrapped box and it had my full attention.

I had given a second thought of it being some sort of prank… or even a bomb (knowing these psychos)… but I grabbed at the wrap, tearing it apart, slowly opening the gift. I saw a familiar getup… a present that made me happy actually. It was my gear… my costume… my helmet… my array of favorite fire arms... my trusty wrist guns. Waller told me the clowns raided the barracks of Belle Reve… probably looking for Harley's gear. They were nice enough to pick mine up to… there was only one problem.

"No… no Harley..." I picked up my white helmet with a sigh, the helmet that so many people saw as their last image before I blew a hole through their skull.

It wasn't right. It was painted all over. Smiley faces and lip stick kiss marks splattered throughout. A painted sun… XOXO written across the top. It was now a color me mine pottery ornament. The Deadshot costume was now officially sullied.

Right where the forehead was a message left for me in bright pink.

Helmets are for pussies!

"Want something to drink?"

My stare didn't leave my helmet, knowing that I was supposed to be one of the baddest men on the planet. This was a reminder that it didn't mean shit here.

"Yeah… give me a bottle of whiskey… and uh… you happen to have a magic eraser handy?"

- J – H – D –

I vaguely remember I'd been drinking away at the whiskey for hours. Probably more than two bottles… four perhaps? How god damn long would those two go at it? I remember thinking a bunch of times actually. Scrubbing down my mask must have got me bored enough though. I had to have fallen asleep because I was feeling a bit lazy eyed at the moment. And I had a bit of a headache.

How much did I actually drink? Maybe more than four...

"Wakey wakey Floyd. It's another beau~tiful day in Gotham!"

It was a bit of a blur but the smell of expensive cologne woke me up along with that cold voice. A seated Joker is not exactly the most comforting sight to see when you just wake up. He was sitting up comfortably on his couch though, peaceful and cross legged with a newspaper in his grasp. He was casually reading, taking a sip of coffee here and there, a bright purple getup in a robe once again screaming at my eyeballs.

It's going to be this way forever right? I'm going to be the on edge dude and he's going to be the guy in the robe sippin' on expensive drinks all casual. Well... at least till he tries to kill me.

"H-how long was I out?" I tried to wake up with my mild headache going strong, my head thumping.

"All night Floyd. One of my guys said you had a bit too much and dragged you up here about ten minutes ago. You party animal..."

"Heh. Yeah. Damn, must be still on jail time… sleep in hourly intervals." I rubbed my eyes, trying to get a clear view of the place. I glanced at Joker expecting some sort of reply but he was more than anything still just fixated on that newspaper. I took a peak at his room soon after the silence… or what at least I thought was his room.

Ah... more knife decor.

Shit. I'm definitely in the Joker's room. It must be.

Horrors aside? Very nice… very classy. Besides the neatly placed patterns of knives all over the floor or the creepy paintings I can dig it. Oh and then there's that big bear rug about a foot away from my boots...

Knowing what went down on that thing last night? I backed up in my chair a bit.

Speaking of which...

"It's alright you slept. Me and Harley's night flew by just as fast. Heh-heh-heh…" Joker chuckled suggestively. "I haven't had her in a while and business was the last thing I wanted to think about. She's such… a gem."

Nice to know Joker… nice to know.

"I'm sure… uh well-"

"Mornin' Shot."

I heard Harley's nonchalant voice chime in from the side, ready to turn to give her a wave but my mouth couldn't find words. She walked out and took my words away, glistening after a shower with only a white towel covering her damp hair. Her picture perfect body naked as the day she was born. The girl had curves… the girl had a chest… the girl was a looker… why am I staring damn it?

"Are you looking at something in particular Floyd?"

The Joker shattered my stare with words like a hammer to glass, my attention whipping back to him. I had some explaining to do.

"H-hey I… you know… was just… she said hi man. Come on…" I tried to be as cool as I could, Joker not looking the least bit amused. "Come on Jay… she walked out here butt naked… I was just surprised… y-ya know?"

The silence continued and I could only give a long huff, ready for this guy to call his goons to jump me right now.

"You like what you see Shot it's alright. Just tell em'." Harley laughed as she was getting dressed, not giving any hoot over who saw her this way. She broke the ice like a pro. It's almost like she evens out Joker in a way… gives him a slightly… slightly softer side.

"Thanks for what you did to my helmet by the way." I tried to change the subject fast.

"Aw no problem…" She mocked me sticking out her tongue. "I got an A in art in second grade so you can tell."

"Oh... Picasso look out..."

"Pssh, screw that old dead fuck... he's got nothin' on me. Look at the detail on those smiley faces! Come on! And did you see the little cute toush I drew on the back?"

"Huh... so that's what that was."

Hah... I'm going to get her back… somehow some way…

That is if Joker didn't try to kill me right here right now.

"Heh… heh… hehehe…" Joker suddenly raised from his seat, cracking up at our banter as he walked over to his prize, kissing her lips which was returned with a passion. "I know I got a catch Floyd… it's okay. She's a stunning creature isn't she? It's hard to peel your eyes away."

"The stunningest!" Harley celebrated with a shake of her read end. At least she was lingerie now… bright pink ones of course. Better than nothing.

"Right... look," I muttered, breathing a tad bit easier. "I wouldn't look at her that way Joker. I know how you treat cats that look at her. I'm not going to be one of 'em."

Joker nodded. I wasn't sure if he trusted me. He looked like he did... but at the same time... there were a bunch of knives on the floor, this dude is dressed up like a clown with an array of weapons, guns and manpower to make sure I don't exist anymore.

"Heh-heh-heh. You hear the stories but you don't know the reasons." He suddenly tossed the newspaper at my lap. "I kill those who look at my dearest only if they're useless. You're not useless are you now?"

Useless is one thing I'm not... I only nodded along.

"Good now read Mr. Useful..."

Finally business. I picked up the newspaper reading the headlines and descriptions closely. A picture of the one and only Bruce Wayne standing next to a woman who I vaguely remember was on the front page. She was that reporter from the Daily Planet. Lois Lane… I think? Superman's girl... or er... formal girl anyway.

Benefit in remembrance of 50 years of the Daily Planet at Gotham Convention Center tonight. Bruce Wayne hosting party in commemoration a month since Superman's Death.

"What better way to announce the return of Harley and I than to crash this party eh? The whole world would be watching."

"Crash this party…" I looked up at him in disbelief. "This place is going to be on lockdown with the entirety of Gotham's security squad there… you want to crash this party? Just for shits and giggles?"

"Heh-heh-heh… too crazy for ya Floyd?"

"It sounds fun to me puddin'." Harley was now completely dressed, smirking like the devil she was.

The image of Waller intimidating me to follow through popped in my mind. What the hell did I get myself into… saving the world… and now doing this? What would Zoe think? Joker didn't want me to be some assassin in the shadows… silly ol' me.

He wants the world to know that this world was his.

"There doesn't need to be reason… you just gotta follow your heart." Joker closed his eyes, probably thinking of the glory of Gotham kneeling to him. Or at least he was thinking about Harley who was in his grasp.

There was no logic or reasoning when it came to what the Joker wanted. He just got things done. That's… admirable I guess. That's he reason he was who he was.

"There's no way around it." I admitted, knowing there was no way out. "There's going to be a war if you show up to this place. There's no skating in and out smoothly."

"Floyd my boy, that's why you, Johnny, and I will plan this all out." Joker suddenly put his hands on my shoulder, smiling big with those shiny teeth. "Sometimes it's the crazy shit you do that makes the world respect you…" He crossed his arms tightly. "Are you going to be a low life assassin all your life… or are you going to be the figurehead?"

"… I work for you now right?" I reminded him. "I'll do as you say and play the low life assassin... for a price…"

"Hehehe. Right. And about your pay… what is it this time hahaha… One million dollars?" Joker pressed his pinky to his mouth mocking that Mike Myers movie to a tee. "Look Floyd, I'm not giving you just another job. I'm not giving you just another payday..."

No payday… those two words that are the bane of my existence.

"You will be paid… of course." Joker suddenly sat next to me, holding me like a little brother of some kind with one arm draped across the shoulders. "I'm giving you an opportunity. I'm giving you a chance to be more than just a two-bit murderer for hire."

"You give me the target… I take out the target… I get money that's how it works. That's all I need."

"And you will get the money smart guy… but this green stuff?" Joker abruptly pulled a wad of cash from the pocket of his robe, using it as a tissue to blow his nose. "You won't give a shit about cash when we're done with you Floyd… You see kid… I like you. I like how you showed loyalty to my lady… and I will shower you with my knowledge and tricks as my gratitude."

He tossed the money at my face, letting it trickle the floor with that signature laugh. I brushed my face before I spoke. "Uh… you freed me from that jail… you're giving me a job. That works for me..."

"Come now. You're not free yet Floyd. You and I both know this." Joker almost whispered the words but it sounded so loud, like he was speaking to my soul. "You still run away from your desires. You still do what you do even though you had more than enough money for yourself… am I right?"

"I do what I'm good at… I kill people and collect."

"Excuses drive people to not fulfill their potential." Joker hissed. "You care for something that makes you tick. You care for someone… but you can't be free enough to do what you need to do am I right?"

Was he talking about Zoe… does he know Zoe?

Fuck…

"You do what you want. Not what you need to do. You should dictate the rules! Not the government… Not Donald Trump… not Hilary Clinton… Fuck, not anyone else really! Hah! I can sense it. This is a start of a beautiful friendship." He gave me a big pat on my head as he sat up. "Besides… you want the Bat right?"

I could only nod again speechless, feeling like this guy was really telepathic or something. That Bat is the reason I'm in this mess in the first place. I was so close to walking away from all of this… I was almost done.

"I'll bring you the Bat tonight. You can thank me later." Joker was full of himself as he rubbed his hands together anxiously. "Now kiddies, the gifts aren't over yet! I got a gift for you and my Harley down in the basement as my cous de gras!"

"Oh more gifts! Yay!" Harley bounced excited. "Come on Shot let's go!"

Those were Joker's heavy preaching words in action. He tempts you by looking into your soul... and I think he just did that to me. Walking slowly with a heavy mind, I followed the two as I was trying to figure this out. Joker knew too much about me. He knows every little bit about me. He plays with your mind and I think I kind of get how a girl like Harley could be twisted so easy by him now.

The man is a genius with words and psychology. Crazy or not. And he is dangerous… to me and my family.

It felt like a fact. Waller sent me to my doom coming here. Midway City with the ancient evil spirits is nothing compared to this...

"No fucking way! Puddin you're a doll!"

"I knew you would love my present dear."

Yeah there was a present. One fucked up Joker present wrapped in tape and drizzled in blood. I reached the bottom of the basement where a horror show awaited me. Me and Harley's gift? The one and only Officer Griggs tied up against a chair and gagged.

The same officer that tormented us at Belle Reve. He had his guards beat the daily lights out of me like it was routine. The Joker got him and this was one of the top guards in the city.

Griggs was a pathetic sight. He was beaten, bludgeoned and defeated. He was groaning and wiggling, trying everything he could to free himself. Fresh tattoos of 'I'm sorry" were cut into his body, dried blood smeared all over him. A few HAHAHA tattoos were sprinkled onto good effect. This was… disgusting.

"Mistah Jay this is the best present ever!" Harley hugged her man as I could only look down at Griggs in a bit of pity.

I can't believe I'm saying it but poor Griggs. I swore I'd get even with him one day this was way way more than that. A gunshot to the head would've been much more humane and fair. I hated this SOB but man...

"So you two have fun. There's some toys I left out over there on the table. I'll be outside… Have a ball you three!"

Griggs could only muffle a squeal hopelessly in reply. A grown man crying was something I was used to at gunpoint but this was just not something I could get with.

"Hi there big boy… remember me?" Harley taunted him, walking over seductively and sitting on his lap arm wrapped around his neck. She stroked at his wounds mockingly. "Oh you look a bit bored sitting there all tied up… I'll play with you."

I looked at them both uneasy as Harley reached for her favorite bat off the table of weapons Joker setup. This is the other side to Harley. That beautiful, brave, innocent girl… the one that saved us? Well… the ugly side was about to be unleashed.

"Ladies first eh Shot?"