My head was aching like I'd been hit by a train.
My body was probably doing a lot worse.
Waking up had never sucked quite this bad and I've been in some hairy situations.
The smell of gasoline bit at my senses, my blurry vision coming back to me not quite fast enough. I tried to move but felt like I was wedged in between something… something cold and metallic. The little movements I made caused glass to crack… a broken windshield.
Right. I was in a car… or whatever was left of it anyway.
That Purple… Lamborghini.
"Are they alive?"
"I think so…"
DAMAGED were the blurry words I read as I saw that clown's face come into view. Joker looked like a mess, contorted and upside down... or was he right side up? Either way he probably was doing as bad as I was really. Seeing the King bleeding from deep lacerations, blood dripping down his forehead in streaks of red, made the broken memories come back.
Car ride…
Crash…
We were attacked…
That clown's eyes opened so slowly and calm, showing no pain whatsoever.
"Heh... heh… heh… nothin' like a joyride through Gotham eh Floyd?" Joker laughed, bloodied and all. "Never know where ya might end up! Hahaha…"
"Looks like they're still alive master."
"Get them out… we can solve this problem real quick."
I felt the car twist and creak, a hand grabbing my neck…
Me and Joker? Were fucked…
- J – H – D -
A week before…
"No way Shot. We're going down there?"
Harley's voice went all high pitched as it always did when she was really excited or really worried. This time it was definitely the later. She probably wished we stayed with Rick and June tonight. I don't blame her.
"I know this sucks." I glanced around to see if the coast was clear, being in one of the slummier areas of Gotham. "But you want a place to hide or not?"
"Ugh… what are you? A freakin' Ninja Turtle?"
Yeah, call me Raphael and I was with clown April.
A sewer hike was in the works.
The life of a hitman.
I pulled away the sewer cover with a grunt, sliding it off as it clanked to the floor. Harley's frown was as big as it ever was as the sewage stank hit us. The smell wasn't great that's for sure. The darkness kinda hid the crud we'd have to traverse through, that was 'nice'. Yeah it sucks to get to where we needed to go… but that's exactly why it was a perfect place to lay low.
The Queen wasn't used to this kind of filth. Joker and Harley had class.
I didn't.
"Come on, hurry before someone sees."
"This is where I'm stayin'?" Harley pouted. "But Shot-"
"Ladies first." I motioned with a hand. "Do you trust me or not?"
Harley reluctantly nodded as she stuck out her tongue. She nodded like she hated it. I smirked at her, making her grumble even more as she made her way down the ladder, me following suit after that. We hit subterranean level without a hitch and took off into the dark, damp and dingy sewer. I held her hand as I used my eye piece to see through the darkness, knowing exactly where I needed to go either way.
"You'd hide down here after every job?" Harley plugged her nose with her free hand.
"Yeah, when needed. Not exactly the luxury life being an assassin." I carefully wall hugged making a few turns into other sewer ducts.
"Hell you got my respect Shot. I'm gonna need a couple of showers… and then a couple more." She stared in horror. "This place you bringin' me to has a shower right?"
"Just trust me okay?"
It didn't take too long until I knew we were at the spot, my hand finding the right sewer pipe, and pulling it. Suddenly a trap door to the wall slid open, both of us sliding into the entrance, the door closing tight behind us and locking with a mechanical twist.
The led lights automatically shot on, suddenly both of us being sprayed with a clear mist from above.
"Gaah… what is this?!" Harley almost got into a defensive stance.
"Relax, just getting clean. Don't want sewer smell in this enclosed place do you?"
She slowly got back into a calm stand. I promised her to not worry about a 'shower'. Here ya go.
"H-hey, you could've told me! Heh, but this is actually cool. Hehehe…" Harley giggled, probably the sensation of high powered decontamination blowers amusing the child in her. "Feelin' fresh as a daisy!"
The sanitation process finished a little too soon to her disappointment, abruptly another sliding door opening and now Harley glanced around wide eyed. I've never shown anyone my base of operations and I always wondered how'd they react. She looked impressed enough.
"This is a nice shindig… not too big… and really quaint." Harley complimented. "Nerdy as hell though…"
"Well this is your home for a little while, so nerd away."
This was indeed Deadshot's home base. A high tech wonderland that I slowly built from my amassed wealth and know how. I converted a large abandoned sewer construction zone into the center of my operations. Gotham City Construction Corp. deemed this place too dangerous to continue work so it was perfect. Nobody wants to come down here… cept Croc I guess.
In the center of the room was my lounge, a small fridge next to a long dark red couch with a TV for killing time. Behind that was my super computer, multiple monitors out in array so I can have eyes and ears outside without being clueless down here. To the opposite corner was my workbench with guns and more guns. There was a small little kitchen entrance to the right and the bedroom to the left… beyond that the makeshift bathroom with running water.
"Damn Shot, you built this all yourself down here?" Harley stepped in looking around amazed. "This is frickin' crazy. Hotel De La Shot."
"Heh, yeah, spent a lot of time here hiding and hunting." I took off my eyepiece, laying it next to my computer desk. "This is where you'll hide till you figure out what you want to do."
"Oh I hope you get Cartoon Network down here!" Harley fell in love, jumping on my couch and flipping channels. "I could get used to this."
Everything was always so fleeting and A.D.D. with this girl. That's part of her soul. To make anything a much bigger deal than it was. To be over enthused by anything. It was… pleasant. I'm usually the opposite.
"Wow what's this?" Harley found a glass casing into the side of the living room. Her face pressed into the glass, a suit of red, silver, and gold metal sitting there, that armored mask looking back at her with one red glowing eye.
"Oh… that's uh… a prototype suit I made…"
"… Huh… you made this too? Shit, I didn't know you were some MacGyver." Harley blinked in amazement. "Why haven't you wore this one?"
"I was going to give it a few test runs. That was before the Bat paid me a visit while I was on a shoppin' spree with Zoe."
What I usually wore and was known for was tactical SWAT armor modded for my needs. It worked fine but I knew a change was coming. A fully mechanized suit of armor for war. This was something I was always working towards besides paying for Zoe's future. With the world becoming more and more unpredictable with crazy enemies and metahumans… I had to upgrade.
Bats was doing this all the time.
I felt strange looking at it. I almost forgot about this thing being at Belle Reve. This was a full on metal power suit that was going to be the new Deadshot armor. It made me stronger, faster, more durable. When it comes to shooting people I'm the best. But building weapons of destruction? I was pretty damn good too.
Kinda ironic I built this thing knowing I'm going to hang up all this shit soon anyway.
Really looking at all these guns I modded on the bench. The wristgun… this suit? I spent a lot of lonely nights here working on ways to fuck up my life more. Maybe that's why Belle Reve never felt out of place. Heh… my life as Deadshot… a waste of time.
"Wow… I see what you do with all the money you get on jobs." Harley smirked. "This thing looks cool."
"Cool? Thought you'd call me an even bigger pussy for somethin' like this."
"Heh… well you haven't worn it just yet." Harley teased.
"And I don't know if I should."
"What? Why?"
"Cause it might blow up and take me with it?"
Harley tapped her head, probably thinking to herself like she was weighing the pros and cons. "You'd be like sort of… an Iron Man in this huh?"
Iron Man? Think that name's taken…
I think…
"Heh, oh well!" Harley twirled off to the kitchen as her A.D.D. kicked in again, checking out the fridge. "Oh this place is so cute! I'll take it Shot!"
"This isn't permanent. Don't get too comfortable."
She ignored that part and beamed big, bouncing off the seat as she hopped over the couch, prancing next to me looking so appreciative. "How can I evah repay you Shot?"
"Get to bed, get rest." I undid my wrist guns, eyeing her down. "I got the couch… you can have the bedroom over there."
Harley tiled her head at me. She looked disenchanted. "T-thanks for your kindness but… uh… ya ain't gonna join me?"
Join her…? R-right… I didn't say a word just yet, putting all my guns aside on the rack one by one to stall for time. We did have a moment earlier today of course and I almost wanted to forget it but you don't overlook shit like that. She cutely leaned forward with that pale pouty face. She wouldn't let this go… those lips.
Good ol innocent fun with no repercussions is what those lips were whispering to me…
Red lips always lie…
This girl's kiss has been messing me up for real. Now it was back in my mind again. She's trouble Lawton… another obstacle in the way of freedom from this life.
"… I thought you were confused right?" I reminded her of the caveat of our little make out session earlier, tossing off my bulletproof vest. "We're not gonna make this more complicated than it already is Harley."
"True. I… I was confused… but… I've been thinkin'… and starin' at your ass the whole time leadin' us here." Harley suddenly grabbed my wrists, pulling them to her. "I gotta thank you the way I want to. Tell me what we did a while ago back at Flag's didn't get your engine runnin'?"
It did… it got my engine running faster than it ever did. But it doesn't matter.
"Priorities… I gotta get to work finding who wants you dead." I fought bad judgement and temptation.
"A lot of people want me dead handsome." She hugged closely, giggling while nuzzling into my chest, her warm body feeling so good. "Fun now… work later… I'm safe in your arms right now anyway."
I'm not lying. I don't get really that pumped up for anything in this life… but Harley Quinn does this to you no matter how cold you are. Having a flirty Harley in your grasp, begging you to take her makes you feel a lot of things. On one end, she's the epitome of a sexy woman, probably any person would tell you that. Extreme attraction.
The other? Depending on how you like it… she was as unstable and unpredictable as can be. Extreme cautiousness or excitement.
Was it even safe to be with her? She was almost like an assassination mission in this sense.
A little scared… a lot of lust.
A little adventurous… a real nice bust.
Doesn't matter Lawton… gotta keep this straight.
"So we go in there… have our fun… then what?"
"Oh… the questions game!" Harley put a finger to her mouth. "We'll wait till we're ready… and we go again."
I blinked. "Okay… then after that?"
"… Wait for us to recover… then go again? It ain't science Shot!"
"After the sex Harley… after it all… you know how it's gonna go."
Harley pouted. "Stop being a buzzkill."
"You and I are gonna lay there thinking about how this shit ain't gonna work."
"… Buzzkillin'… Floyd 'Buzzkill' Lawton… that should be your name."
"Be real. You're marked from head to toe telling the world who you belong with." I pointed out her pale skin and tattoos. "Besides, it's old school of me and I don't like your boy… but it's bro code. No bangin' chicks that are with dudes I know."
"Really?" Harley rolled her eyes. "You ain't gonna play with me because of Puddin' huh? Scared?"
"I ain't scared of no man."
"So you're scared of me then?"
"Terrified…"
"Ugh, come on… It's just… sex… it's just fun."
"So this gonna be a one-night fling? Then we'll forget about the whole thing?"
Harley's eager self finally wavered a bit, actually thinking a few steps ahead for the first time tonight. "… I… I'm not sure."
"Listen, I do flings with girls named Diamond and Kupkake at the strip joints. Not with a girl who stood beside me to save the world. Not a girl who'd stand next to me while disabling a bomb. There's respect there understood?"
Harley could only nod after another silent moment. It seemed that calmed her down a bit. My mind appreciated it. My libido? Not so much…
"… I understand." Harley was a bit taken back, a grin creeping back on those pretty lips though. "You really care about me… most guys couldn't resist me unless Mistah J had a gun to their heads…"
"I care way way more than I should." I slowly pressed her away from me. "Don't need to know what it's like with you in bed to make this even more of a problem."
It was fact. Harley had those multiple personalities, those whispering voices in her head. You could see them literally switch in and out sometimes. That lust we had… yeah we both were into each other. But a lot of her still thought of Joker. That one was appearing again.
"You're a good guy Shot... best guy I know." Harley's calmer head prevailed, amazingly.
"I'm just trying not to be a douche… success rate is about 50 percent I hope."
Harley giggled, looking to the ground, then back at me. I didn't think she thought I was a douche at all.
"… You know when I said you're just like the rest of em?" She stared at me in a bit of shame, slowly leaning back in and kissing me on the cheek. "I was so fuckin' wrong…"
I tried to be as stone faced as I could be nodding. You can't pull the cute kiss on the cheek thing and be that sweet. This girl does too many things to me… it's like a storm inside me right now.
"Good night k?" She yawned deeply. "I do… think I need some rest."
"That's the best idea you've had in a while." I praised the Lord to end this tease. "Night…"
It doesn't matter how much I wanted Harley. The clown was trouble no matter how great of a girl I thought she was inside. It has to be this way. That road we were going on was a disaster waiting to happen.
"… Oh and just fyi?" Harley turned. "I'm amazing in bed. Just so you can know."
Oh yeah. Put the stinger on it… go on ahead clown girl. Make it hurt real bad.
She walked into the adjacent bedroom snickering, closing the door with a slide and a wink at me. Oh man… holding back was hard. I REALLY needed to not dwell on Harley sleeping across the room from me, I had to get to work or something. I wanted out of this life and I wanted to keep Harley safe. This was killing two birds with one.
Birds…
Cats eat birds…
A cat was exactly what I needed.
I hit the computer with a purpose glancing down my contact list. I saw her screenname and I saw her little handle.
ThisPussyLovesMeowMix (ONLINE)
Nice.
C.R.I.M.E. (Connected Routing Interweb Messaging Encrypter) popped up on screen. This underground social encryption program that let baddies like me 'skype' with the criminal underworld and whoever I wanted without giving away my location. The web cam shot up. Selina Kyle was always so carefree, the girl sitting there with a bag of Goldfish crackers and smiling.
Long silky black hair, green eyes with cat slits, and a face to die for… the girl just had that allure. Catwoman was known as the greatest thief in Gotham City, and probably the best in the world. For me though… she was my informant. The main go to source for finding people I needed to shoot. Of course Catwoman was the best hub of knowledge in town.
"Frickin' Floyd Lawton." Selina looked so surprised. "Finally found the time to say hello to little ol me since breakin' out of jail huh?"
I saw her take a drink to her lips, the pinkest ooze out of a shot glass.
"The hell you drinking?"
"Pink Pussycat shots… so good."
This girl takes her cat gimmick a bit too far…
"Looks like pepto bismol… what's in it?"
"Butterscotch schnapps and strawberry liqueur. Heaven in a little shot glass."
"Heaven?" I just kept giving her a look. "Sounds more like a terrible drink."
"Alright, it's a bitch drink… sue me Whiskey boy."
I chuckled, shaking my head, trying to get to business now. Catwoman distracts you with playfulness. "… Selina, I gotta job. Got the time to talk?"
"Eh, just binge watching Narcos while gettin' tanked, watching my dream husband Pablo doing it like it should be done." She put her crackers away. "But I'll never turn down good money… haven't worked with ya since that Angelo gig. Boy is he still pissed at you."
"Don't blame him." I remembered playing my cards right, doubling my kill salary to 2 mill on that contract. "But this one's bigger…"
"How much and for who?"
"I don't have a number but it's more than that Angelo job." I fed her the bait. "You can have all the cash. I just want to find out who's responsible for something and take him or her in alive."
"So we're not shooting someone… and you're giving me the entire purse?" Selina blinked confused. "Where the fuck is Floyd Lawton and who are you? 'No money no honey' remember?"
"This is my last job…" I stated fact. "This ain't about the money. This is about closure."
"Last job?" Selina frowned. "Don't like hearin' that… the legend of Deadshot pays a good chunk of my bills."
"Sentimental shit aside, It'll be one hell of a final gig… so you in or out?"
"In… but who's this job for?"
"Joker…"
"Hah, a job for your boss. I figured as much. Now I remember why you wanna retire. Crazy son of a bitch."
"Harley Quinn got shot a day ago." I kept it on topic. "I think someone has it out for her beyond the actual shooter. The only lead I got is the guy who shot her was named Will Evans and he worked for the Joker."
"Interesting… I heard rumors she was hit. She okay?"
"Yeah she's fine… Can you try to find as much as you can on Will Evans for the past months? The usual stuff."
"I'm sure I can scavenge up something useful for ya… just send me any info you got and I'll do my thing…"
"You're the best."
"You know it." Selina gave a thumbs up.
"I'm all out of lo~ve… I'm so lost without you… I know you were right… believing for so long…"
I cringed again and I think Selina did too… Harley sharing her 'lovely' voice to the world was always an event. Even muffled behind a door it bothered me. I imagined her singing to her PUDDIN collar… thinking about the guy.
Sad. Disturbing… and strangely… now? With a hint of jealousy on my part.
Selina blinked, hearing that high pitched voice over the chat. "Is that… Harley Quinn? She's with you?"
"Yeah…"
Selina and I had that awkward stare, and then that suggestive nod appeared.
"I see how this job is personal. Heh… boy you better keep it together." Selina giggled to herself. "That girl is trouble… even more trouble than me. And damn get her some singing lessons."
Don't I know it…
- J – H – D –
After getting off the conference with Selina I had to compile my list of potential suspects. On screen names and pictures filled the monitor, criminal overlords galore. Just exactly who would have the balls and the reasons to go after Joker or Harley?
Sure, this was the royal criminal couple around these parts and it wasn't a wise move to cross them but who would feel saucy enough to even do it? Who'd be crazy enough and have the resources to do it?
The criminal underworld in Gotham was vast. I figured if Joker could keep his own gang in line who could the exterior forces that were a threat?
Freeze. Riddler. Penguin. Falcone. Angelo. Dent…
Harvey Dent…
If Joker was number one around here? Two Face was the closet guy to that mantle with his empire. With half of his face mangled, maybe a part of his brain went with it finally. Maybe he'd be the first guy I should take a crack at talking to. Harley mentioned they didn't get along, it was actually Joker and her fault half of his face looked the way it did in the first place.
We have history too… that's for sure.
THUD!
"Harley?"
I heard something hit the ground in the bedroom, getting up and rushing over, pulling the door aside. I saw Harley knocked out and on the floor, laying there out cold and motionless.
What the heck happened?
"Hey Harley! What's wrong?!" I rushed over to her side, checking her pulse and breathing. They were fine. I leaned over checking her face if she'd banged her head… nothing.
It was like she fainted. Was it the meds? Was it the wound?
It was none of that.
"Gotcha…"
It was a trap.
I stared with a nervous gulp as I was pulled in, her legs wrapped around my waist and arms around my neck. She grasped on tight, not willing to let go.
"What… the fuck Harley…" I scowled, realizing the ruse.
"Don't be mad, I just needed to get you in here and on top of me without hearin' any of your lecturin'. Come on have a little sympathy! I was gettin' bored being alone… play with me…"
"Fuck you." I growled. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"
"What? Cause I faked being passed out or because I'm just so hot?" She giggled, suddenly leaning up to my ear, her warm tongue running up the side of my face. "And yes… you got the idea Shot… Fuck me."
She whispered a command… and licked me.
And I got shot into the moment.
I started realizing the gravity of the whole situation. Harley was in a sexy black lingerie number, pressing up to me and begging for me to take her. She looked… and felt… amazing. The feelings of our make out session came roaring back… and now her soft smooth pale skin was touchable.
God damn it, she lays one hell of a trap.
"Harley… if this is just to get back at-"
"Shut up. This ain't a revenge fuck…" She guided my hand to her breast grinning so naughtily with no shame. "This is a I've been wanting to fuck you since the moment I saw ya fuck."
I let my hand get a firm squeeze, then tracing down her flat stomach, seeing that "Lucky You" tattoo that was right above her panties. I really wasn't in control… or that's what I wanted to believe.
Lucky you…
Yeah… lucky me…
"I know you have doubts but when you gotta target? And the pay is good? You take that shot don'tcha? You don't hesitate or nothin'…" She hurried my hand down her Lucky You tattoo, stopping where only Joker seemed to have the privilege of touching. "Here's your target, and the payday is right here baby."
Harley looked like a million bucks, that wasn't an argument. I wanted her… I really wanted her bad. She was an addiction at this point. I couldn't turn away.
"You're trouble Harley…" I sighed, trouble that I couldn't walk away from.
"Mmmm Shot…" She moaned into my ear, my hand exploring like she wanted. "You're right I'm a lot of trouble… but trust me… this pussy's worth it…"
I couldn't fight it. This girl is too much. She got me.
I began to pull off her panties.
"Heh, show me what you got cowboy cause you're in for one hell of a ride…"
We both let it take us. Infatuation. I kissed her hard and she did the same… we were now officially on the 'ride'.
A/N: Don't know if foreshadowing scene... and jump back and time was cool... but I did it anyway :) Haha I miss writing Joker even for a few seconds.
The next 'shot' is a Lemon. Lemon Shot. I want to keep this story "T" just cause this chapter is such a 'one off' situation. So for those who don't need or appreciate smut it won't be forced down ya'lls throats. Contact me if you want to read it and I will send it!
The ending is coming... and it is going to be a wild ride like Harley says.
So exciiiiite.
