A Trip to the Dollar Store

"Haruhi I don't think I follow," said Tamaki with a befuddled expression.

"Senpai its not that hard to understand. Everything in this store only costs a dollar."

"Everything?"

"Everything."

"And how much is a dollar?"

"It's four quarters, or equal to a hundred cents."

"…Aaand what's a cent again?"

"Never mind. All you need to know is that everything in this store is about as cheap as you can get it."

"Alrighty then Haruhi, so tell me, what do you commoners call this strange item here? It's so….lumpy

…and wrinkly, and it smells like mayonnaise-"

"Senpai that's the cashier."

.

A Tamaki Left to His Own Fantasies is a Danger to Everyone

"Uh…boss-" said Hikaru.

"Quiet! You'll ruin the effect!" shouted Tamaki.

"But I have more than a few questions about this…" said Hikaru hesitantly from under a frilly pink dress that was too short for his liking.

"Yeah boss," chimed Kaoru, "We know you're upset about Haruhi going away to visit her relatives for a week, but it has only been two days."

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm not upset in the least!" he proclaimed, slapping a short brown wig onto the head of Hikaru.

Hikaru had had enough. "That's it, I'm outta here."

"No Haruhi! I mean Haruhi! I mean HIKARU come back to daddy!"

The twins slammed the door behind them, leaving Tamaki to sulk alone.

"Well, that leaves me with only one other option… OH KYOOOYAAA!~"

.

Nappuku

"Honey senpai!"

"Mitskuni!"

"Honey senpai, get down from there!"

"NO! I've finally decided this world isn't worth living in anymore," said the diminutive senior from the top of a cliff that overlooked a sharp, rocky patch in the ocean, possibly the only thing that could actually kill him. "There's no reason why I shouldn't just end it all." A single tear slipped down his cheek.

"Senpai, you're being ridiculous," called Haruhi, "you can't do this every time you don't feel like taking a nap.

.

Thick Creamy Goodness

"Mmm…Mnh!- Tamaki, not so hard! I can't fit all of that in my mouth," said Kyoya, wiping white sticky creaminess from his face.

"Sorry Kyo, you know I have trouble controlling myself," winked Tamaki as he filled Kyoya's mouth once again. Kyoya sucked on the length and licked the cream coming out the tip, before it was shoved to the back of his throat once again.

"T-Tama- *cough* *cough*" Kyoya choked and sat back, glaring at Tamaki as he sipped his cup of tea to clear his throat. "Tamaki, if you're going to keep doing this every time we eat eclairs together I'm going to stop staying after club hours."

"Fiiine," whined Tamaki. "Let's get this mess cleaned up so we can go have sex."

.

Heartbreaker

When Kaoru walked into the bedroom he shared with his brother, he was surprised to find all the lights off and music blaring from a corner beside the bed. He was just barely able to make out the sounds of whimpering and rustling over the music.

"Hikaru?" Kaoru called as he approached the source of the music. "Hikaru I know you're in there, you're the only one in this house that listens to Slipknot. He found the light switch and the room was illuminated. He crouched next to his brother, who was busy applying black lipstick to match what remained of his mascara that hadn't already run down his face with his tears.

Kaoru sighed. "Did Haruhi reject you again?"

Hikaru didn't respond, but another tear streamed down his face and dripped a black spot on the floor.

"Do you want me to go make you some cocoa?"

"….c-can you use the mini m-marshmallows?" he whimpered.

Kaoru patted his back. "Sure buddy"

A Trip to the Dollar Store 2

"So…. Let me get this straight."

"Tamaki-senpai we've been over this fourteen times already-"

"You're telling me…that everything in this store only costs a dollar?"

"For the fifteenth time, yes, senpai," sighed Haruhi.

Tamaki giggled and hopped in place for a moment before speeding off to the other end of the store. Haruhi took the opportunity of peace and quiet to get some shopping done. Moments later she saw Tamaki approaching the check-out desk with a mountain of items.

"-And I'll need one of these, and two of those, and-ooh I bet Antoinette would love this! And a couple of these and-" Tamaki paused as he caught Haruhi in his sights, before running up to her, picking her up and setting her on the conveyer belt. "And one of these!"