My head feels heavy as I hear voices muffled around me. I can't open my eyes or even move my body. Is this how I die? My body is laying down, and the air around me is cold. I find myself going in and out of consciousness until I finally strain to open my eyes. A dim light comes from the left side of the room. A girl is sitting at a desk reading a large text book. This is the medical center that Maggie pointed out earlier. I'm alive.
"Hey," my voice comes out as a painful whisper.
The girl jumps a little and rushes to my side. She places her hand on my forehead and sighs in relief. She must be the doctor. By looking at her, I would say we are around the same age. I look away and realize that it's nightfall. What time is it? I sit up as she instructs me to do so. She checks my eyes with a small flashlight to see if I have a concussion.
"You should be okay, but if you start to feel dizzy or anything. Please let me know." She yawns and walks to the door.
"How long have I been out?" I slide off the bed and walk over to the door with her.
"Um…" She closes her eyes. "About ten hours. You whacked your head pretty hard. I'm actually surprised you don't have a concussion."
"Yeah," I say stepping outside. "Thank you."
She yawns again and waves goodnight to me. As I walk back towards my house, my mind starts to panic. Did she stay up all night to make sure I was okay? Did Glenn and Heath tell everyone how stupid I was on the roof? Oh no. Was Glenn testing me today? A loud motorcycle noise rips through the silent night making me stumble on the sidewalk. I catch myself as I look to the gate where the noise is coming from. I can see that Heath is on tower duty.
I reach my house and stand on the porch watching. The gate opens slightly to let Daryl drive his bike into the lane of cars and park. Heath yells something down to him when he shuts the motor off. Daryl pauses briefly and yells something back. It's hard to hear from this distance, but as soon as Heath points to the medical center, Daryl takes off in a sprint. They can't be talking about me, right? My face blushes in the darkness at the thought of Daryl knowing I screwed up today.
I go inside my house and shut the door behind me. Why do I care what he thinks? I go into the kitchen and see the dishes in the sink that I still haven't cleaned. I groan and get a cup from the cabinet as if I've lived here forever. I get some water from the tap and sip it carefully. My dry throat tingles as the coolness of the water slides down.
My porch squeaks under the weight of someone hurried. I put my glass down and peek around the corner to see the door. I can see Daryl's shadow in the door's window, but he doesn't knock or even come inside. He pauses at the door. I step into the hallway and over to the door. As I open the door, he turns around to leave.
"What?" I say a little frustrated.
He lets out a deep breath and faces me. "Nothin."
I shake my head at him and scrunch my face in confusion. "Are you here for something?"
His eyes flick from my eyes to the ground. "Nah." He turns around again to leave.
"Come inside."
I leave the door open and go back to the kitchen to finish my water. It takes him a moment to finally come inside and shut the door. I listen as he walks to the couch and puts his stuff down. I take the last sip of my water and add the cup to dishes I won't wash. I walk into the living room and sit down in one of the chairs across from the couch. He watches me curiously.
I sigh before taking my shoes off and dropping them to the floor. "Let's have it."
"What?" He sits down on the couch and continues to watch me carefully.
"I screwed up today. I almost got myself killed. That's why you're here, right?" When he doesn't speak, I continue, "To tell me I can't go on runs anymore."
"Is that what you want?"
I laugh and look at the ground. "If only it was up to me."
"What do you mean?" he says getting a little more comfortable on the couch.
"College. Getting a real job. Moving back home because I couldn't afford an apartment. Seeing my dad get killed. My mom abandoning me and forcing me to take care of my sister. Burying my sister. Coming here." I shake my head. "It's never been about what I want."
Daryl doesn't move a muscle as he tries to figure out why I just told him all of that. To be honest, why did I tell him all of that? He didn't need to know any of that crap. Our eyes meet in the dimly lit light, and hold. My heart pounds as his eyes keep mine. I chicken out and look away. Why does he stare like this?
"Sorry," I mumble as I stand up. "You can stay if you want."
I leave the room and head towards the stairs a little embarrassed that I just spilled a part of myself to a complete stranger. I run up the stairs and shut myself in my room. I sit on the bed and face the window. The moonlight pours into the room washing everything a light blue. I reach into my pocket and pull out my sister's picture. I could have saved her. She should be here.
"Hey."
Daryl's sudden voice from the door way makes me jump. I didn't even hear him open the door. I close my eyes and put the picture on my nightstand. I stand up and turn to face him. He flicks the light on and glares at me. My eyes start to tear up as he steps towards me.
"You just sat there and complained about some really shitty things that you don't deserve to think are even remotely shitty."
"What?"
He steps closer again and raises his voice. "You got to actually go to college and get a job. You had a family that let you move back home when you couldn't make it. We bring you here, and you think you get to complain? That's bullshit!"
I step backwards as my tears drip from my eyes. "I… You're right."
He nods and backs away a couple steps, but doesn't lower his voice. "We all lost people, but we have to keep going!"
"I'm trying," I whisper, my voice cracking.
Daryl takes in a deep breath and lets it out a little dramatically. He spins on his heels and heads for the door. His hand hits the light switch and the room becomes dark again.
"Please stay."
He stops and looks over his shoulder at me. The intenseness of his demeanor increases as he stomps over to me and stands awkwardly close to me. I feel his breath on my face as I look up at him. I can smell the dirt, sweat, and cigarette smoke on him. His chest touches mine as he tries to intimidate me.
I repeat, "Please…stay."
My heart skips as his eyes and face become more gentle. His hands skim mine so lightly that I half believe I made it up that I felt it. Just as suddenly as he invaded my personal space, he walks away and sits on the floor next to my bed. He looks away from me and grunts. My face must be red as a tomato right now, but thank goodness he kept the light off. I shake myself mentally and climb into bed. Daryl lays on the floor and stares up at the ceiling. I can't find sleep. Probably because I just slept for ten hours.
"Who have you lost?" I ask looking up at the ceiling.
He takes such a long time to answer, I almost think he's ignoring me. "Too many people…"
"Your family?" I prod.
"Merle, my brother." There's a hint of remorse in his voice.
I prop myself up on my elbow and look down at him. "I'm sorry."
He glances at me and looks away. "You should get some sleep."
"I slept for ten hours. So I just thought-"
He sighs and closes his eyes. "Well, I didn't."
I lay back down at stare at the ceiling and soon am sleeping soundly.
