A big thank you to Counting Sinful Stars and Verry-chan for your reviews!

for the time being i'm having a friend look over these chapters... still looking for someone to handle my other stuff as lest... I'm kind of picky so i would have to talk to them first...

ALSO!

I have a tumblr... because i was bored! Its a place you guys can go and check out stuff i dont post on here like art, quotes, extras and ever personal reasoning behing my stories. You can even ask me questions. So if your into the whole blog thing go check it out! My user name is FeatherFang, i'll be putting the link for it on my authors page here.

Doesn't have much yet, but it will in time.

Anyway, enjoy! R&R


Chapter Three: Raw

When we finally leave the sibling's apartment it is still pouring down rain in sheets that looked almost solid. This time though I was dry and safely under an umbrella, Kuronue's pendant tucked way under my shirt and Kurama's arm over my shoulders, if not in a romantic way than at least to give me the comfort my eyes must have been pleading for.

We walked in silence, only the sound of the rain and our feet splashing on the water logged ground, as he lead me back to the apartment I have not been to in two years. I might not have a key to it now, but he was a retired thief, and such skills seldom go rusty.

I was glad for the silence; it gave me time to try and think. I knew he knew that I was grieving, in my own way, for I must have been deathly pale by the end of my story. I did morn as we walked. My chest ached and my head pounded, but my eyes stayed dry. I wasn't sure why I didn't cry, but for some reason the salty water didn't come, had not come in quiet a while – so long I can't remember the last time they appeared. It must have been years, I realized, and I truly wondered if there was something wrong with me.

We were at the complex faster then I would have liked, and I climbed up the flights of stairs with little thought. It is like riding a bike. It was a wonder that after years of going up and down this same path I haven't started leaving ruts in the metal.

Kurama found the apartment door and left me with the umbrella as he hunkered down to the doorknob under the small shelter from the roof. A small vine appeared from under his sleeve, slinking out and penetrating the small keyhole. For the first time since seeing him again, I was struck by the difference in his aura.

In one of his letters he'd told me about how he'd given up his true form, sealing away half of his powers until his mortal life ran out. I didn't understand his reasoning, but I knew what it felt like to lie about everything.

"His power is far less then before."

I heard Kuronue grunt in agreement, felt his eyes through mine as he looks carefully at the redhead.

"He has to know that denying who he really is will come back to bite him."

"It's his choice…"

"It's not smart Izumi. I just hope it doesn't cause anything to end up in a mess."

I was pulled from our conversation by the sound the door's lock clicking open and Kurama stood, pushing the worn door in. I give him a small smile in thanks, and walk in, pulling off my boots again and setting them near one of the heating vents. They are soaked and I hope to dry them before I need them again.

Kurama shadowed me, hanging up his coat and the umbrella on a vacant row of hooks. I wanted nothing more then to lay on my bed and not think, but it was cold and dark in the apartment. I fumbled for a moment before sighing and leeching power from Kuronue, my vision suddenly turning clear and bright in the darkness.

I found the fuse box quickly and turned the power back on. Through the wall I could hear the generator kicking back to life and it reminded me that this apartment isn't fed through the grid because Koenma owns it. Once I'd flicked on the lights and turned the heat on high, I finally ran out of things to occupy myself with.

I found myself staring at my living room. The bookshelves were missing quiet a few of their residents and there were white sheets thrown over the furniture. Almost everything that had made this place me was gone, back up at the ranch and most likely ashes or in pieces. My heart clenched when it dawned on me that my violin was among those things.

"Izumi?" I didn't hear him approach, but I felt his hands as they touched my shoulders, and felt his breath dance over my scalp. "You're still icy." He rubbed my arms with his hands and I frowned, turning around to look at him. His green eyes look at my hazel ones and he reached out to press a hand to the side of my face. "You're exhausted as well."

I bit my lip. I knew he meant that I should sleep, and I found myself frightened that I might be left here alone, even if just for the night. I pressed my face to his hand and closed my eyes.

"Will you stay?" I asked finally. "I don't think I can sleep…I'm too over exerted, and wound up." I was being a child. I knew his family is probably wondering where he had run off to. I knew it was inappropriate to even ask such a thing after two years apart.

Where did we even stand any more? Letters were all well and good but…

"I'm not going anywhere." His words were soft, but crisp and even as they always were. I should have known he would not leave, but I had still thought he would, still told myself he had places to be. "I just need to call mother and let her know, alright?"

I gave a short nod of my head and he smiled slightly. I wasn't sure what he was planning on saying to Shiori. He could lie, but something told me he'd tell her mostly the truth. After all, he'd given up a large portion of his power so he wouldn't have to lie to her, so why do it now?

"Why don't you see about getting your bed ready? You really should try to sleep tonight. I'll see about getting something to eat."

Food. I hadn't had anything since breakfast, I should have been starving, but all I really felt in my stomach was a stinging raw feeling like sand paper had been rubbed against it.

I wandered off to my room as Kurama took out his cell phone, dialed in a number and pressed it to his ear. Much like the rest of the apartment, my room was mostly barren, though seeing as I had my own furniture and bed up at the ranch everything was still in place here. I walked over to the bed pushed up against the side of the room and pulled off the white cover to show the dark blue comforter I had left on it.

I walked around my room a bit like a ghost, stopping in front of the dresser and taking my headphones from my neck, putting them and my music player down on it. After a moment I also pulled out the dead communicator and sighed, setting it down as well. I couldn't seem to get my head in order today, though who could hardly blame me? Sighing, I walked back over to my bed and sat down on it.

"Izumi?" Kurama appeared at the door way and I gave him a small smile. "I'm going to meet my step-brother half way. Mother is sending some of the meal she made tonight. I didn't have a chance to eat before I got the call." He smiled slightly rubbing his neck. I nodded my head, feeling a bit guilty. I had just crashed back into his life. Part of me wondered if I should have. He looked me over before walking in and over to me. He crouched looking at me in the eyes, "Just try to rest alright? I'll be back shortly."

"I know. I'll try," I muttered, nodding slightly. The redhead frowned, not seeming to believe me, but stood up again all the same. He glanced at me once more before turning and head for the door. I waited till I heard it shut behind him before I flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

I lay there for a good two minutes before sitting back up and wondering back over to my dresser. Absently I push the play button on my player again and hear the music play faintly through my headphones. Then I started rummaging around in the few boxes I had left behind in my closet.

"What are you…?"

"Didn't I leave some of my newer clothes here? Because I didn't want to ruin them during training?"

"Maybe? I don't really remember you have too many articles of clothing."

"I am female Kuronue."

"Trust me, I know."

I rolled my eyes breaking the tape lose on one of the bigger boxes and smiling in triumph when cloth met me. As I dug around for something to sleep in I let my mind go black, let myself hear the faint music playing in the room.

'…Believe in hallucinations? Silly dreams and…'

Odd, wasn't that what I had listened to on my way back to the ranch earlier today? Maybe the music had already run its loop and was repeating. As I lifted up a long sleeved nightshirt I suddenly heard something that most defiantly wasn't Angels and Airwaves. The loud constant beep was one I knew well, but had not thought I would be hearing anytime soon. Turning around I walked over to my dresser again and stared at the communicator on it. It was flashing its little light and beeping in warning that I had an incoming transition.

"What the hell…" I muttered, knowing that the thing had not worked at the ranch. I had been sure it was dead. I picked it up after another beep and walked over to my bed, sitting down and opening the flip screen. The screen turned blue for a moment and then slowly the image of a teenage Koenma with his office backdrop appeared on the screen. I stared, and stared, and then shook my head. "Eh… Koenma?"

The prince looked a bit relieved. "Good, you finally picking up."

Finally? What the hell did that mean?

"I…Koenma. I don't understand. I tried to call you hours ago, but the communicator never lit up. I thought it was broken."

"What are you talking about Izumi? They don't break, not unless you through them in lava or smash them." He frowned at my very confused expression. "We got your call, your image appeared on the screen for a moment and then I heard an explosion in the background and suddenly the connection died. I tried to call you back but you never answered."

I was flabbergasted. "I… Koenma, I never got a call, this was the first time I heard it beep all day." I shook my head confused and tired. "Never mind. Koenma, something horrible happened, the ranch was attacked by demons, and not lower class. Kyo and Saitō… they stayed behind so I could get out."

"I am aware. I sent a dispatch group after I lost your signal along with Saitō's. They are still searching the area, but right now they haven't turned up anything." He frowned seeing the panicked expression on my face. "I am sorry Izumi, I will contact you as soon as we know anything. If you think of anything that can help… contact me."

I heard my apartment door open and footsteps come towards my room as I nodded at the little screen. "Alright, sir."

Koenma looked at me for a long moment before sighing and nodding his head. "I'm glad you're alright. Get some rest Izumi." With that the screen went blank. I stared at it for a few more seconds before pressing my lips together and closing the flip screen. I was starting to get tired of hearing that.

Looking over to the side I saw Kurama quietly leaning on the doorframe watching me with worry in his eyes. I gave him a small smile and he smiled back holding up a bag with one hand. The smell of food wafted in to the room and my stomach suddenly clenched and complained at how empty it was.

I stood up and placed the communicator on my nightstand before following him out of the room and into the kitchen where a small wooden table sat. The dish Kurama revealed was chicken curry and rice, and I couldn't help but be glad it was something simple and slightly normal. I had never been able to get myself to like Miso Soup or Sushi, which was a problem in a country like Japan.

"It was nice of your mother to send this over." I muttered eating a bite of it. Kurama nodded his head eating his plate as well. We ate mostly in silence, and I wasn't sure if it was because we were both so hungry or if neither of us could think of anything to say over food. Most of my thoughts just seemed too heavy for dinner conversation.

Once the food was gone I placed the plates on the counter by the sink and stood there for a moment mulling over my thoughts. "Kurama?"

"Yes?"

I shifted a bit looking at my reflection in the metal sink head. "Do you… think its weird that I haven't felt like crying? I mean, I'm devastated, I can't stop thinking about it, all I want to do it sit down and cry, but I can't seem to. The feeling just isn't there…"

Quiet footsteps were my answer and suddenly his hands were on my shoulders again, pulling me around to face him before I was suddenly tight against his chest. Some part of me reveled in it, finally being held by him again and I buried my nose into his shoulder. Kuronue, for his part, stayed completely quiet.

"It's not that weird." Kurama finally answered me, his hand smoothing my blond locks. "As cruel as it might sound, your mind is just used to this amount of emotional pain. You haven't told me much about your life before I met you, or the life you had before you died, but I cannot help but think you went through quiet a lot to get where you are today."

I thought about his words quietly, and realized quickly that he was right. Feeling that type of pain over and over again was like watching horror movies or getting a shot. You got use to it. "The first few years here… I did a lot of crying." I confessed, resting the side of my head on his chest. "Everything about this life was so different. I hated it. Kuronue upset me constantly, the training was brutal and when I started doing missions… when I killed my first demon, my first human?" I frowned thinking about how much I had cried during those days. Part of me had wished I had stayed dead.

"The same is much for me." The redhead muttered. "We've both just gotten used to seeing things like this happen. Your mind is just desensitized to it. It would probably take something worse than everything you have felt to really cry again. As it would for me."

Kurama was over a thousand years old. I wondered quietly if there was anything had hadn't already had to endure. If there was anything that would hurt him so badly that he might shed tears. I hoped that day never came, for both of our sakes.

"Come on, let's get you settled down into bed." He muttered, pulling back and taking my hand before leading me back to my room. "Get changed." He nodded to the nightshirt I had set out. "I'll be right back." He left the room I was sure to give me some privacy, and I snorted slightly at the thought. As if I even knew of such a thing anymore…

"Hey!"

"Oh, hush, you know it doesn't bother me anymore." I pulled off the borrowed sweats and unclipped my bra before slipping on the dark blue shirt. It tumbled over me, falling to my knees. Lastly I changed my underwear and then sat down on the bed. "I'll see you in the morning Kuronue…I think we both need some sleep."

"Yeah… alright. Just, don't let him do anything you don't want to Izumi okay? I know you trust him but…"

"I hardly think he's going to try anything with me in this state Kuronue. I can take care of myself after all."

"I know. Night Izumi."

"Night."

With that I pulled the pendant from my neck and set it on my nightstand our connection breaking as I let go of the chain. I sighed looking at in and shaking my head. It was like having a protective father all over again… if that father wasn't related to you and only said such things because he had a thing for you.

"Ag." I rubbed my face with my hands. My life was so messed up.

"Izumi?" Kurama peaked into the room and I waved him in. He smiled walking over to me, his eyes flashing to the pendant. "Finally alone are we?"

I nodded my head slightly, relived that I could speak to him more freely now. I hadn't had the energy to block out Kuronue. I stood up in front of him, not at all effected my his wondering gaze and stepped close to him my face in his neck again.

"I missed you …so much." I whispered the words I had been thinking all night since he'd appeared at the Kuwabara's apartment. I wasn't sure where our relationship stood after such a long time, but I knew where I stood. I still needed him; nothing had changed for me, nothing at all. His arms fell tight around me, his breath in my ear.

"I missed you too." He moved a hand, caressing my face with his thumb and pulling my head back to look at him. "I was worried when I got that call from Kuwabara, but a part of me… I was so glad to hear you were back, and then to see you again." He closed his eyes, his other arm tightening around my waist again. "I wanted nothing more…"

He trailed off and I nodded my head understand his thoughts. "Me too."

I hardly had the words out before he was kissing me. My eyes slid shut and my hands slid up his shoulders and pulled him closer. It deepened almost instantly, pent up emotion from two years flowed out as he tangled his hands into my hair. I gasped for air when he pulled away and kissed my neck, pushing me back so we could sit on my bed. I laughed slightly and ran a hand though his hair. Kuronue had been right about him, though, I had been thinking little else either.

I just wished I wasn't so god damn tired.

Sighing I pulled his head back up and kissed him lightly again before resting my forehead to his. "Sorry fox boy." I mused, "I'm not really up for anything hard core tonight."

He eyed me for a moment before nodding his head and kissing me again. This time as he pulled back he moved and pulled my shirt collar to one side, to check on my injury to make sure it was still covered. Once he was satisfied he stroked my hair, his calm exterior coming back into place.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I got carried away."

"We both did." I assured him before yawning for the first time that night. He chuckled slightly and I moved to swiftly get under the covers. "I don't know how you want to go about this..." In the short time we'd had together before I had left, he'd only spent the night once and that was because we'd both fallen asleep watching a movie on the couch. This was hardly that. I fidgeted, suddenly nervous about the whole thing. That in itself was silly. As if I had never had a guy sleep with me before…

"Relax." Kurama bent down and kissed my forehead. "Stay there." He waited for me to nod and then turned around and went to the light switch turning it off. In the darkness I watched him discarded his long-sleeved shirt, leaving an undershirt and his pants. He quiet easily moved around my body and carefully set himself on the bed next to me, above the covers.

"Won't you be cold?"

I heard a smile in his reply. "Demons don't get cold very easily Izumi. I'll be fine." I nodded my head and snuggled closer, my back pressing against his chest from between the fabric. I felt his hand run through my hair again before his arm lazily curved over me. "I'm here, you don't need to worry about anything, just let yourself go."

As if his words were the key to a puzzle, my eyes slid shut and my mind drifted, comforted by the warmth of his body next to mine, and his protective hold around my shoulders.


Izumi's Playlist: Dive Too Deep By Red Jumpsuit Apparatus