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"The day I went missing was the day I died. Five years in hell forged me into a weapon, which I use to honor a vow I made to my father, who sacrificed his life for mine. In his final moments, he told me the truth that our family's wealth has been built on the suffering of others. That he failed our city, and that it was up to me to save it and right his wrongs. But to do that without endangering the people closest to me, I have to be something else."
"...Mr Redman claims refunding the halcyon pension plan has always been his intent. But sources say Redman was coerced by the vigilante."
"This guy gets more airtime than the Kardashians, right?" Oliver asked as he entered the living room. He straightened his tie and looked over at Speedy's confused look.
"Five years on an island and you still know who they are," she said. "You are certainly using your time wisely."
"It's just nice to see how much our culture has improved while I was away."
"The city used to be different. People used to feel safe," Moira said shaking her head. "Oliver do you have questions about today?"
"No mom. I've been in a courtroom before," Oliver replied.
"Just read out a brief, prepared statement to the judge and your death in-absentia judgment will be voided," Walter explained. Oliver sighed and turned to face Tommy as he headed in. It would be quick, hopefully. He'd been up most of the night thinking about what he would say when the Judge asked him to explain what happened.
The media storm wasn't unexpected. The fact it happened outside was an improvement. If he had been surrounded by all those people inside the courthouse he couldn't imagine how he might have reacted. His hand clenched to stop the shaking and he finally cleared the last of them.
The courtroom was quiet as he recounted what happened after the Gambit went down. He knew his mother was crying softly and Walter looked pained. He knew Tommy was trying to make sense of how different the Oliver Queen he knew could be. There was a lot of pity in the courtroom and it was deafening. His ears were ringing, his chest tight and achy. It was...he needed to breathe.
Court ended moments later with the motion granted. Everyone wanted to rush him to the office and he found himself standing back. The walls, the elevators, the pity. It was too much after this. He needed some time to think.
"Mom, that was heavier than I was expecting it to be. Can we do that tomorrow?"
"Sure honey," she replied. "You rest and we'll do the tour tomorrow."
He waved goodbye to his family and followed Tommy down the other hallway towards Diggle and the car that would be waiting. Turning the corner he was surprised to encounter Laurel and two other women..
"Hi."
"What are you doing here?" she asked. She looked pained.
"They were bringing me back from the dead. Legally speaking. What are you doing here?"
"My job. This is Emily Nocenti. Emily, Oliver just got back from five years on an uncharted island. Before that he was cheating on me with my sister. He was wit her when she died and last week he told me to stay away from him. I intend to."
Laurel shouldered past him and Emily smiled at him before stepping between him and Tommy to follow Laurel. Tommy nearly chuckled but caught himself when he saw Oliver's face.
"You just make friends wherever you go," Tommy offered. "That girl though the blonde? She looked interested."
"I'm not looking for anything like that Tommy."
"What have you done with Oliver Queen?"
The press was waiting for him when he came out of the building. He could feel John Diggle at his side and Tommy at his back. The pressing of bodies was overwhelming and the second he got into the car, he couldn't help but peel away. He knew Tommy and Diggle would be upset but he had to get away.
He drove for a while allowing his mind to go to autopilot. An hour outside of the city he found what he was looking for. The campgrounds were deserted at this time of year and he breathed easy once he stepped out in the area surrounded by trees. He stripped off the suit jacket, the dress shirt, shoes and socks and took a deep breath.
The dirt was cool against his feet and the trees waved in the subtle breeze. He sat down in his suit pants and just breathed in and out, letting his breathing calm in meditation. The birds fluttered around him and he heard the sound of a rabbit eating grass near the front driver's side door. He calmed and thought about the cave on Lian Yu that had been his first home on the island.
He jumped up and took to the trees, scaling the branches until he could rest on a bough up towards the top of the tree. He rested his back against the trunk and closed his eyes, allowing his mind to wander.
He could feel his father's book throbbing in his back pocket, the list of names calling to him. He should be on the streets stopping the bad guys and protecting his city. At the same time he just couldn't focus.
The ringing of his cell phone almost sent him off the branch. He forgot about it again. He fumbled for it and listened to his mother chatter on about the Queen Consolidated tour she had arranged for the morning. She clearly hadn't heard from Mr. Diggle yet. He silenced his phone and closed his eyes.
Hours passed while he slept in the tree, enjoying the solitude.
"Now where do you think my son is going on these chaperone-less excursions?" Moira Queen demanded.
"Ma'am I truly do not know," Diggle replied.
"And he truly doesn't" Oliver joked as he walked in the room. He'd managed to camouflage the dirt on his pants but he knew if anyone looked closely enough they would question the stains from the woods.
"Then perhaps you'd like to share with me where it is you run off to," Moira demanded.
"I've been alone for five years Mom," he began. He waved his hand at her response. "Alone."
"I see," she bit out.
"I promise to introduce her if it ever gets to the exchanging first names," he joked.
"I'd rather you promise to take Mr. Diggle with you on your next rendezvous. It's not safe darling. You've been abducted once and there is a maniac out there, hunting the wealthy."
"That maniac saved my life," Oliver interrupted. He didn't have time to discuss the vigilante right now. He could already feel the anxiety rising and he still had to deal with Martin Somers.
"This isn't a game Oliver!" his mother cried. "I lost you once and I am not going through that again. Promise me."
"Okay," he placated. "Dig's my guy. Sorry to give you so much grief Dig."
"I served three tours in Afghanistan Mr. Queen," Dig began buttoning his coat. "You don't even come close to my definition of grief. But I tell you what. You ditch me one more time and no one will have to fire me."
Oliver sighed and caught Thea heading down the steps in another revealing dress.
"Don't bother trying to pickpocket my stash this time because I'm going to go get drunk," she said as Oliver stepped in front of her.
"Thea do you think this is what Dad would want for you?"
"Funny thing Oliver," Thea replied. "Dead people don't want anything."
"I was dead and I wanted a lot."
"Except for us. You've been home a week. You're never here and when you are you avoid Mom and judge me. Don't wait up."
Oliver watched her go knowing he couldn't stop her. He gestured for Diggle.
"I'm staying in tonight," he said. "I promise. I want you to go after Thea and make sure she doesn't get into too much trouble."
"Of course Sir," he replied. "If you aren't here when I get back…"
"I'll be here," Oliver promised. It was only a matter of waiting for his phone to tell him Thea was heading home. He would beat them both back.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" Moira asked him. She was walking with him arms linked as Walter and her pointed out a variety of minor, unimportant changes to Queen Consolidated. He was thinking about Somers and his reconnaissance. Somers would make his move soon. Laurel or Emily. Laurel or Emily first…?
"I am," he admitted. He couldn't help but glance around every time he saw a flash of blonde hair. He knew in a company of this size he wouldn't see Ms. Smoak. Her first name haunted him but he was sure she'd eventually tell him.
"I remember your father used to bring you here when you were a boy," Walter said with a smile. "You were always so excited."
"Dad used to let me drink soda in the office," Oliver smiled at the memory. He had a lot of good memories with his father.
"Ah, so now we know why you always wanted to go," Moira laughed. "Robert had such a soft touch."
They pushed into Walter's office and Oliver felt the air shift around them. They were going to ask him something. They were going to expect something from him.
"Come Oliver, sit," Moira gestured.
"Mom it makes me nervous when you ask me to sit down. I'm fine."
"The company's about to break ground on a new site for the applied sciences division and we'd like to honor your father," Walter began.
"That's nice."
"And we'd like to make an announcement at the dedication that you will be taking a leadership position in the company. It's the perfect time for you to return."
"Yes Oliver. You're meant to do this," his mother explained.
"No. I don't want to lead anything or…"
"You said you wanted to be a different person," his mother started. "You are Robert's son and this is what Robert's son would do."
"I don't need to be reminded of my father," Oliver replied. "I know who I am."
"Obviously you don't."
"Look Oliver everyone knows this transition is really difficult for you," Walter placated.
"Which part Walter? Everyone is fantasizing I got my MBA while away? Or the fact my father's CFO now sleeps down the hall from me? I have no interest in this company."
"You know five years ago your irresponsibility was somewhat charming. It is a lot less so now." Moira stormed out of the office, Walter hot on her heels.
Oliver watched through the glass wall as his mother and Walter walked away. He frowned and headed for the door. He didn't want to hurt anyone but he couldn't just pick up his life as though he'd never been gone. He just wasn't cut out for that kind of life anymore. He opened the heavy glass door, sighing at the apology he would need to offer later.
"Mr. Queen," a familiar voice called. He turned and saw Ms. Smoak walking briskly towards him. "Hi. Are you coming to work here now? Uncomfortable chairs but decent coffee."
She smiled up at him and gestured to Walter's office. "Visiting Mr. Steele? I was going to drop off that computer from the other day but he practically knocked me down chasing after his wife. Did something happen. Oh! Did I stumble into a family matter? Oh I did. I'll just...go."
"Wait," he said. He grabbed her hand until she turned to look at him. "Will you show me where I can get some decent coffee around here?"
"Sure Mr. Queen," she smiled. He held her hand for a second longer and then let it drop to her side. She turned and gestured for him to follow her. She chattered about her IT job as they wandered down a few hallways. He noticed very quickly the polish and wide hallways vanished as they started passing cubicles. The break room was miniscule, smaller than the smallest bathroom in the Queen Manor. She slid over to the old coffee maker and started preparing a cup for him. A group of workers came rushing through with a series of computer carts, pushing Oliver into the small space.
"Sorry," he offered when he slid up against her back. "They're moving computers."
"Yeah the 17th floor is getting an upgrade or downgrade depending on how you look at things," she rambled. "It's an upgrade for them but it's still outdated. Queen Consolidated needs to look forward, not back. Here."
She turned towards him and found her nose almost buried against his suit jacket. He smelled like dirt and trees. She liked contained places, cubicles and basements. She didn't like camping or lots of nature but there was something soothing about the masculine scent. She could feel the heat pouring from his body, The coffee was scalding against her hand but she couldn't move away. She gulped noisily and moved to look up at him. He towered over and she watched his blue eyes darken at her gaze. What was this? Why…?
"Let me take the coffee," he murmured. "I don't want you to burn yourself." He took the coffee from her and moved away. He huddled in the doorway putting a foot between them and turned his attention to the black coffee she'd gotten.
"Do you want sugar or cream?" she asked. He was staring so intently at the cup as though she hadn't spoken. "Mr. Queen?"
"No," he replied. "It's just...it's been a long time since I had coffee. Sugar is a strong taste and I'm...not used to it anymore."
"Right," she offered lamely. "I….why do you look like someone kicked your dog?"
"My…oh!" he laughed then for a moment. She couldn't but smile because he looked so surprised he was laughing. "No...nothing like that."
"What happened?"
"Expectations," he said shaking his head. "My mother wants me to run Applied Sciences."
"That's a big job," she said. "I know a lot of people are trying to get into that department."
"You too?"
"It's the future," she said with a shrug. "I don't want to spend my life in a cubicle fixing computers that have had coffee spilled on them."
"Understandable," he said. He drank the coffee for a moment and she found herself struggling to find something to do with her hands. She didn't want coffee. "It's...everyone just…"
"Wants to forget?" she offered. She caught his glance and sighed. "They want to pretend it didn't happen. This is where you'd be Mr. Queen. You would have come to work for your father and in the five years they'd be handing you a department. You'd carry a briefcase and go home to some ridiculously expensive, modern loft. You'd maybe be married to Ms. Lance and thinking about kids. Maybe even have some."
"I don't want to disappoint her," he replied. "She doesn't deserve that."
"The island changed you Mr. Queen," she said. "It's silly to assume you can just...pick up where you left off."
He finished the coffee in silence under her watchful gaze. He could feel her attention like a whisper. It floated over him and gave him a reprieve from the shadows of his mind where the island echoed.
"Thank you Ms. Smoak," he said. "I...what's your first name?"
"I think...maybe you need a little mystery Mr. Queen," she said with a smile. "I have to get back to work."
He grasped her arm as she went to brush past him, halting her in her steps.
"Oliver,"
"No, that's not my name," she said with a smile. She slipped out of his grasp and made her way down the hall. Before she was out of sight she turned back and smiled. Her wave caught him unawares and he found himself waving back stupidly at her retreating back. A throat cleared nearby and he turned to find his shadow waiting for him.
"Sir?"
The pair moved through the building, pushing past the ridiculous amounts of press still looking for a comment. Oliver felt the pressure but it was muted. His thoughts were still distracted by Ms. Smoak and her ability to understand how he felt.
"The driver will be here in a minute Mr. Queen," Diggle explained.
"Okay."
"You know I spent the first 27 years of my life in Starling City and the next five in Afghanistan?" Diggle explained. "You want to know what I learned?"
"There's no place like home?"
"No just the opposite." Oliver turned to look at Diggle interested in what he had to say. "Home is a battlefield. Back home they're all trying to get you. Get you to open up, be somebody you're not sure you are anymore."
Oliver held his gaze and considered the man who was supposed to protect him. He really hadn't give the man much thought the past few days.
"Or I could be wrong. Maybe after five years alone you're not as messed up in the head as you have every right to be."
Silence washed over the car as the driver arrived. Oliver looked out the window at the camera flashes as they pulled away and wondered for the first time, why the only people who seemed to understand him were newcomers in his life.
Oliver listened to the news as another update on the Somers murder trial ran. He knew Somers was his next target but he had to figure out when to target the man. He worked on the docks and that would be easy to infiltrate. He grabbed his shirt to tug it on and sighed.
"Wait! How did you get those?!" Thea demanded as she barged in. "Mom said there were scars but Oliver...what happened to you?" Her hand touched his scars, trailing over the shark bite and the scar from Fyer's torture.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Of course not," she said. "You never want to talk to me."
"Thea wait. I...I'm sorry. I know I need to get better about talking about the island but I'm just not ready. Can you understand?"
"Fine," she rolled her eyes. "Do you have a second?"
He followed her through the house and into the backyard. Two headstones stood prominently in the clearing. Thea walked over and started to wipe the dirt off them and tug a weed or two from around the stones.
"About a month after the funerals, Mom stopped going out," she began. "Pretty soon it was like she wasn't there. So I'd come out here and talk to you. I'd tell you everything and beg you to come home."
"Thea…"
"I felt closer to you when you were dead. You weren't the only one in hell Ollie. You need to let someone in."
His eyes fell on his father's headstone and he didn't move when Thea walked away. He leaned down to touch the letters of his father's name. It was much nicer than the one on the island where his body was buried. At the same time he couldn't feel his father here. He couldn't feel anyone here.
She jumped at the sound of the knock. She wasn't expecting anyone. She didn't really have friends in Starling City and while life could be lonely it was all hers. For the first time in her life she wasn't explaining herself or pretending to be someone she wasn't. She padded for the door hoping it wasn't her next door neighbor who kept trying to get her to go out on a date.
"Mr. Queen!" she exclaimed. He was standing there holding a brown paper bag and looked sheepish. "Sorry. What are you doing...I mean can I help you?"
"I...do you know my sister?" he asked. "Or do you know of her?"
"Thea Queen, " she offered. "She's seventeen or something? Got arrested last year for shoplifting...but you wouldn't know that. It was on the news. Sorry...your sister."
"She told me I've been distant," he began. "I don't know how to let people in anymore. It's hard to talk to people."
She nodded encouragingly, holding the door tightly between her and him. "You should. There are good therapists in Starling City…"
"I was wondering if I could talk to you," he explained. "I...got your address from the QC directory. Only Smoak in the book. You didn't know me before so I'm not some huge disappointment."
"Come in," she said, opening the door. "You...uh…sorry for the tech mess. I was rebuilding one of my old computers. I don't really have much of a life but…"
"It's okay. I'm used to a lot of dirt," he replied and then froze. "I meant things like this don't bother me. I mean….sorry I'm not used to people."
"It's nice to see others babble sometimes. Saves me the job," she smiled. She cleared a place on the floor for him and he settled in next to the couch. She sat down next to him and tried to make space on the coffee table. It was difficult to find any room on the tech strewn area. He breathed in the fresh air from the open window and sighed. "So...you want to talk."
He opened the bag and pulled out a pint of ice cream and two spoons. He looked up at her and smiled broadly.
"You said ice cream," he said. "Do you like chocolate?"
"Who doesn't?"
He cracked open the container and offered her the spoon. He liked watching her eat, she just dug into the pint unapologetically. She blushed when she noticed him watching her. She offered him the pint and he took a spoonful.
"It's just like I remember it," he said as they ate more of the ice cream. She slipped to the floor next to him and just waited for him to speak.
"When I was away for the past five years, I wasn't just sitting on an island waiting to be rescued," he explained. "I made plans. I have goals."
"What do you want to do?" she asked. He shrugged for a moment thinking about his options. It's not like he could tell her he wanted to be a vigilante and rescue the city.
"I want...to help people," he finally said. "My father was a great man but he didn't always do what was right. I want to fix his mistakes."
"And you can't do that at Queen Consolidated?"
"While I'm taking in board meetings and socializing, I'm not really helping this city."
"So tell them this,"
"I tried. Trust me I did. My mother doesn't want to hear it."
"So show them who you want to be. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or build a playground or start a charity.. Just show them what you want to do when you're not in a board meeting."
"Thank you for...talking to me," he said. "You haven't asked."
"Asked about what?"
"The island. Everyone asks me about the island. What was it like there? You don't."
"If you want to talk about it, you will. You went through something. It's up to you to talk about or not. It's not anyone else's business."
They lapsed into a comfortable silence. The ice cream disappeared between the two of them and Oliver felt himself relaxing in a haze of contentment. No one wanted anything. No one was expecting anything. He could just be.
"Sir?" Diggle asked as Oliver slid into back seat. He glanced up at the window and saw Ms. Smoak waving at him. He lingered for a moment watching as the lights went off and she hopefully went to get some sleep.
"I need to see Laurel. Then we'll head home."
"Of course sir."
The drive was quiet other than the sirens. Oliver tried to remember if the city had always been this bad. He'd been distracted by life at the time but were there this many sirens back then? Had the city always been this bad?
"Sir, Ms. Lance's apartment," Diggle offered. Oliver sighed and waited for the man to open the door. He found it strange to have the man shadowing him when he didn't need it. It would be difficult to get his mother to let up on this insanity. It was getting more and more difficult to get away from the man.
Thankfully Diggle waited at the end of the hall while Oliver went to talk to Laurel. He couldn't stand the thought of the man standing over him while he tried to apologize. He didn't want Laurel to hate him but he couldn't let her get close either. He wondered if the ice cream might have smoothed the way but it was gone.
"Hi" She said as stood in the doorway. The similarities between this and the moment a few hours earlier was eerie.
"Are you okay? There are two cop cars outside."
"How am I supposed to stay away from you if you won't stay away from me? What are you doing here?"
"I pushed you away to protect you. Then I realized that I hurt you. I was a jerk before the island and now I'm just a damaged jerk."
"You've been through something and everyone's jumping on you. Maybe you should just take some time."
"I...yeah. Did you hear that?"
"What?"
Oliver pushed past her hoping she would stay near the door. She didn't, following him through the apartment. He grabbed a knife from the kitchen counter and approached the window.
"There's someone on the fire escape." The man burst through the window just as Oliver realized Laurel was right behind him. Grabbing her he rushed for the front door but a man had already burst through it. He didn't have time to worry about Mr. Diggle. Another guy came bursting through the bedroom window and Oliver backed Laurel up against the wall.
He barely had time to think when Diggle burst through the door. He itched to rush in and end the fight with the female attacker but he stood back holding his act together. Finally he couldn't help but disarm her by throwing the knife. She turned and glared at him before running away. Assuring Diggle was easy but Laurel was another matter.
"Freeze! Twitch and you're dead." Oliver froze. He watched Detective Lance come towards him, brandishing his weapon. He breathed slowly to calm his heart. He hadn't expected China White to still be with Somers. He had thought the Triad would cut ties with him as Laurel circled closer to nailing Somers for murder. It wasn't like them to stay attached.
"Bow down! Hands up!"
He breathed and made his move. The recorder was thrown, knocking into Lance's hand and throwing off his focus. He jumped the building listening as Lance retrieved the confession. It was over. Martin Somers was finished and he could focus on the next piece of his life. It was time to deal with his mother.
'Ms. Smoak was right. I can't be the Oliver my mother wants me to be and keep the promise I made to my father. I have to be the person I need them to see me as.'
"Ms. Smoak!" he exclaimed. He downed the glass of champagne and nearly crashed into her. He wasn't drunk but it certainly helped sell it."
"Mr. Queen! Are you okay?"
"I'm fine! Oliver...Ollie...that's my name." he stumbled. "I'm just here to give my speech and...be myself."
"Are you drunk?" She patted his shoulder, straightening his tie absent-mindedly. "There are so many reporters. You should get a cup of coffee."
"With you? Anything."
"Oliver they're ready for you," Walter steered him towards the podium, introducing him. Oliver caught a glimpse of Laurel and Tommy's expectant faces. Everyone wanted him to be Robert Queen. He couldn't be.
"My legacy," he rambled. "Thanks for warming them up Walt. Ow...stupid shovel."
He could see Ms. Smoak's horrified face as he dropped the shovel. It clattered noisily to the ground.
"Some of you may not know me. Who are we kidding? You all know who I am. I'm Oliver Queen. I was rescued from that island. Well and I'm Robby's son. But Walter, my new dad, is right. I'm not much of a legacy."
"Oliver," his mother whispered.
"I was supposed to come here and take my right...rightful place at the company. But I'm not him. I'm me and I never will be him. So just leave me alone."
He stumbled off the stage, crashing into a waiter and sending a tray of drinks crashing to the ground. He made his way to the door, stumbling inside until he could let go of the act. He glanced back but no one was watching. A slow applause distracted him.
"That was some act."
"Ms. Smoak," he said surprised. She looked angry and he could see the slight flush to her cheeks. "I thought maybe you would...I don't know. Not be like this."
"Did I disappoint you?"
"How could you? I'm not anyone of importance to you. I hope you get what you wanted Mr. Queen. I doubt they'll ask you for anything for a long time."
She stomped away and he watched her, wondering if maybe he'd made a mistake. He couldn't have his family riding him about joining the company but he might have lost something more valuable. Straightening he turned towards the elevators. He had bigger problems to handle.
"You ready Sir?"
"Yes Dig."
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