Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

Prompt: Inuyasha's first transformation into a full youkai

Context: Chapter 10


Inner Demons

Inuyasha

Inuyasha remembers everything.

He will learn later on that this is not always the case when his youkai blood takes control. But this first time, this first encounter with the savagery that lurks just beneath the surface, seems to be branded on his retinas.

He can't forget the pleasure he'd taken in violently ripping those last feline youkai apart, can't forget Kagome's first scream of pain that had stirred something wild and uncontrollable within him to wake. Can't forget her screams of horror that had followed as she witnessed the carnage he inflicted on their enemies.

When every attacker had been reduced to an unmoving, unmentionably disfigured carcass on the forest floor, he had stood growling, facing her. She still lay where she had fallen, wounds deep, rendering her immovable. He remembers the deep sadness in her eyes, remembers the pain and desperation in her voice as she'd choked out his name.

"Inuyasha." Tears were streaming down her face, and she'd lifted a hand weakly in his direction. "Inuyasha, please, come back to me."

He'd shaken his head roughly, unable to remember exactly who she was and driven mad by the scent of her blood, only knowing that she smelled of home. The instinct to protect and defend together with his remaining lust to kill had been overpowering. A canine whine had mixed in with his furious growls, conveying his frustration at his helplessness to heal her wounds.

She'd called his name once more, her strength clearly fading. "Inuyasha, please." And something in him, deep and instinctive, had finally responded to her plea, and he'd found himself moving to her side, deeply inhaling her scent. Her raised hand had been shaking, but she managed to gently bring it to rest against his purple-striped cheek.

Her eyes showed no fear, only sadness. No condemnation, only compassion.

"This isn't you," she had murmured. He had just stared, uncomprehending, still tense and ready to fight.

It's early morning now, and Inuyasha can't tear his eyes away from the exhausted girl who'd fallen asleep next to him the night before. He smells her dried tears- maybe from nightmares, or bad memories. Kami knows he's had his fair share of both since that horrible evening. Guilt wraps creeping tendrils around his heart and squeezes as he looks at her slightly furrowed brow.

This is my fault. The thought is inescapable. Her pain, her sorrow, her misfortune. That's all he is.

But then she stirs slightly, and moves to snuggle tightly against his side. She murmurs his name in her sleep, and again he remembers her eyes, looking at his violent and bloodthirsty youkai. His youkai who had called her home.

She had shown him no fear, only love- just as she'd been doing since the day she'd come out of a well and into his life.

So he banishes the guilt for the moment, as the sun begins to rise, and allows her innocent warmth to wash the memory of the blood from his hands.


Author's Note: If you noticed important details missing, blame the word count. But I still like how it turned out. :)

Again, if you have prompt suggestions, please review and let me know! Hope you enjoyed!

-Lady E