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Chapter Eight: Fate Strings

It was well past two AM when I finally reached my apartment back in Tokyo and unceremoniously dumped my things into a pile in my room. I probably should have been more careful, but, at this point, I was too tried to get a shit. I stared at my bed longingly for a moment, wanting nothing more then to kick off my boots and fall onto it. My eyelids nearly dragged themselves closed at the mere thought.

I shook my head, knowing I couldn't and turned away, already muttering about the time it would take to get to Spirit World so I could make my report. I had planned on going to see Kurama today, but at this rate, I'd been sleeping all day instead.

"… How long have I been up now?" Counting the small nap at the ranch was hardly worth it.

"Oh, forty plus hours, give or take a few with the time zones and stuff."

"Awesome." I grumbled out in English as I left the apartment complex and walked to a near by alleyway between a drug store and a warehouse that had been for sale since I had come to live here. Near the back of the ally way I stopped for a moment and reached out, touching the stone wall. This was one of the easiest entrances to spirit world unless I wanted to fly there, and right now I wasn't sure I was up to that. I was liable to some how end up with a FUI or something. Muttering to myself I used a small amount of energy and made it shoot through my hand, telling the hidden portal that I was indeed allowed to go through. With that my hand sunk into the wall as if it were nothing but air. Closing my eyes I sighed and walked forward, my ears popping gently and my hair lifting at the light wind current before I was suddenly somewhere warm.

Reopened my sleepy eyes I found myself in the halls of my work place. It took me a few moments to get my bearings, and then I kicked myself. I was nowhere near Koenma's office. The portal wasn't really a portal after all, but more like a teleport to spirit world. One normally had to have their destination in mind before entering. If not, they were dropped somewhere random like I had just been.

"Ag…" I rubbed my face with a hand as I started trudging down the hall.

"It's your own fault for not paying attention." Kuronue pointed out. "Instead of thinking about how you'll lose 'Kurama time', you should have been focused on the mission."

I stiffened slightly at his remark.

"I was not! It was a passing thought and you know that." I wasn't even sure I had been thinking when I had passed through the portal. Still Kuronue snorted acting much like a teenager that wasn't getting his way.

I wasn't sure if it was because I was tired or if I was simply sick of feeling his resentment towards one of his oldest friends. The fact that he was bringing it up again now, just irritated the hell out of me.

"Are you seriously still trying to tell me not to be with him?" The silence that answered me left me even more agitated. "I would think after yesterday it would have sunk in, then again it hasn't before so why would it now?"

The very fact that Kuronue had phased right through me when he attempted to comfort me was one of the main reasons I had shut out any real feeling for him in that nature. Soul mates or not, no life could be built around that, so I had turned my mind from it from the start.

The bat demon, however, had already allowed such feels, and so, he suffered with the fact that I was with his old partner and not him. This fact made me often feel like I was living inside of a soap opera.

Besides, even if for some unethical reason I suddenly fell head over heels for Kuronue, how in the world would you explain to a living person that you were dumping them for a ghost? It was unbelievably stupid.

"If you're so close to him, why haven't you told him anything? Perhaps not about you became Soul Detective Izumi, but there are others that know much more about you then him. Are you afraid that telling Kurama about Saitō would go badly? He should still know. I do, and I don't care."

I stopped for a moment, and sighed. That was true, Kuronue didn't care. Then again my… interaction with Saitō had occurred during a time when the bat demon and I had still had trouble getting along.

His words still strung though, for they were the undeniable truth. Kurama had understood before, he knew I had my secrets, my past, hidden for a reason and he had assured me that he would wait till I felt I could tell him. Coming to terms with what had happened to me so many years ago, still some times was hard to except. But what Kuronue spoke of – what he held over me now – were things that had happened after my death, things I had no real reason to hide, other then a childish fear that Kurama might see me differently afterwards. And really… that was no excuse.

My mind connecting dots suddenly, making decisions that I had been wary of before, suddenly too clear to deny. It brought to light something that I should have told him before, regarding Kuronue and myself. I frown, crossing my arms, my mind made up.

"You're right… I'm going to have to tell him. If I ever expect him to truly trust me, I need to tell him about Saitō…and about you." I realized, thinking back to the day Kurama and Saitō had that little chat. The redhead hadn't said anything about it to me, nor had he asked about my relationship with the SDF agent, but I was sure he was confused. In all reality, I hadn't been fair to him at all, while I knew quiet a bit about him thanks to my job and Kuronue's memories, he knew… next to nothing about me, and half of that was a lie.

Kuronue was taken back by my sudden decision, and he backtracked, bristling at my words. "No! Izumi, you don't need to tell him about me. What good will that do? He'll probably demand that you take the pendant off when you're around him!"

My choice faltered for a moment, clouded over with his reasoning, I could easily just follow his words. I had done so many times before. I thought back to two years ago, to the tunnel incident and my decision to withhold information about Kuronue from Kurama. I'd followed my friend's plea, but in the end, that had almost killed me and ruined my chances with the redhead.

I didn't want to do that again, yet I knew that there was a chance that Kurama might not take the fact that his old partner – who was a ghost and was connected to me on a level he could never be on – had feelings for me. Jealously, no matter how strong the person, can make them crumble to the thought of loosing something important to another.

It was all a bit too much for my tired mind to really process.

"…Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea…" I flinched at my own thought, knowing that too much lack of contact could lessen the bond we had, and Kuronue's snarl only echoed his pain.

"No, I demand that you keep this to yourself!"

"Demand?" I scowled, narrowing my eyes at the ground. "You can demand nothing of me, this is my life!"

Another round of snarls boomed through my head, causing it to throb. "Fine, do as you wish! Its not like you ever listen anyways!" With that sharp snap, Kuronue retreated to the back of my mind and I gasped, in pain as he threw up a block between us so he could sulk without my thoughts in the way.

"God damn him!" I snapped, forgetting Japanese once again and kicked the wall I was standing next to before wincing and hopping backwards. "Ouch!"

"Izumi?"

I jumped slightly, turning to face my employer who gave me an odd look. Though, it did look a bit funny seeing at it was done around his pacifier.

"Koenma, sir, I erm…" I rubbed my head sighing. "I was just coming to find you so I could make my report."

The prince raised an eyebrow and it occurred to me that he'd been in his teenage from the morning I had been debriefed to, was this his normal form now? "I figured as much," he replied. "Though it would seem you and your partner have had a bit of a rough night."

"He's just… being difficult sir, nothing to worry about."

Koenma nodded his head slightly before waving his hand. "Come on, we can talk back in my office." As he started walking back I suddenly felt the strangest urge to scream. I didn't normal ask questions about my job but I needed some kind of reassurance. Something I could grab onto that was a fact. I needed answers…

"Koenma?" I said hastily. The prince stopped, and looked at me. "I just… can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

I shifted a bit, rubbing my arm before I walked up next to him.

"I just, I wonder why he did it." I started off. "Your father, why would he tell Soul Detectives right off the bat that their demon partners are their one and only soul-mate? I get that it explains the whole reason why we can work together but, it just seems… rather cruel."

Koenma stared at me for a moment before sighing, his hand coming up to scratch his mop of brown hair. After a short amount of time, he nodded his head slightly. "Yes well, we both know my father had a very interesting sense of duty. He probably thought it was kind of humorous to watch you struggle with such a thing, what better way is there to isolate you from others and keep you loyal to Spirit World then to tell you that. After all, he was the only one capable to bring the demon back if needed be." His hand fell from his head and he gently placed it on my shoulder at my scowl. "But, what my father said Izumi… it's not really… the truth in a way."

I frowned, confused slightly, and pulled away at his words. In the back of my head, I felt Kuronue perk slightly at his words, he had been listening after all then…

"What do you mean?"

Koenma sighed said before he started walking once more. "As I said, we shall talk about this in my office. There is much you should know."

Confused and a little more then slightly curious, I followed the ruler down the hall and towards his office.

When we entered his office something about the room seemed more ominous then it ever had before, which made no sense to me at all. How many years had been now? Six. Six years since I had started my job in Spirit World, six years since my life had changed forever. Six year since the first time I had ever been in this room. Nothing about it had changed. It was still vastly empty, nothing but open space except for the large wooden desk near the back wall that was currently - and normally - covered in papers that looked as precariously balanced as a game of Janga nearing its end.

I waited for the prince to saunter over to said desk, where he would more than likely cause the papers to go toppling down. When he didn't do so, but instead turned to face me once we were near the center of the room, I stared at him confused.

Just what was going on?

"Give me your hands."

My brows rose at the odd command, but like the good little detective I was, I did as I was told and casually lifted them, placing them onto one of his, palms down. My hands were not the prettiest. They were worn, callused and red in places. The cold left them chapped; giving me bad hang nails and sore cuticles. The nails were chipped, broken in places and holding dirt under them. They were certainly not the hands of a normal teen. These were not the hands of the girl who had walked through these doors years before. They were the hands of someone completely different.

Koenma nodded his head and his other hand rose, hovering over mine. For a moment, nothing happened, and I wondered just what the hell he was trying to do. Then, his raised hand glowed slightly, the outline shining in a white light. Slowly, as if they were snowflake, little particles of light drifted down from his hand the fell upon mine.

I felt nothing at first, then a small warmth in my hands began to surface, growing till they were almost glowing as well. I glanced at the ruler, still confused and found his gaze on our hands, his consecration easily seen by the way his mouth mulled around the binky in his mouth. Shifting my gaze back down I jumped slightly at what had appeared.

There were three of them, and they started out at nothing but small light pink shapes over my fingers and then grew in opacity, growing brighter and darker till they had blushed a deep red. They were… strands, ribbons of some sort that were attached to three of my fingers - two on the right hand, the middle and pointer, and one of my left, the pinky - and as they moved farther way they became more transparently, disappearing completely after barely a foot.

"I don't… are they?" I stared bewildered by what I was seeing; yet easily remember the countless pictures, stories, and saying that drew from such a thing.

"Humans didn't really get it wrong you know." Koenma said easily. "They just, much like my father had you believe, made it too absolute."

I shook my head, mouth gaping slight at the three red strings on my fingers. Kuwabara would so love this. "What do you mean?"

"Soul mates do exist Izumi, but there is no such thing as one soul mate, the universe simply can't make such a thing happen. Call it as you will, fate, destiny, mere chance, people are drawn to each other, but one seldom feels such a things for just one person. It might appear that way, seeing as in most cases when you find one of your matches, you stop looking." When he saw the confused look on my face only become more prominent, he sighed. "Think of it this way: when a being is created, whether they be human or demon, certain things come into play. Linage of course, and the physical state of that being, but there is more to it than that. When someone is born into the world that depicts who else will also come to be in the world. It is how the universe knows what to create next." He gestured down to my hand and the strings that were upon it. "For instance. When Kuronue was created - perhaps not born quiet yet, but when he was put into motion - the tie to you was also formed, as well as any others that formed as well. Thus, when that happened, though not for many centuries to come, your connection with him and others were also written into being."

I blinked, once, twice and then three times before raising my hand and rubbed my eyes before setting it back where it had been. "But… that doesn't make sense Koenma." I complained. "My parents weren't even born when Kuronue was, so how in the world was it that I was…written at the same time as he was."

Though still quiet miffed with me, Kuronue agreed silently, though seemed to deal with the information a bit better than I did. Koenma smiled patting my hands as if I were a child needing comfort.

"You are thinking too linearly Izumi. Time, space, creation, none of it is as such. It is more like an ever-expanding tapestry, flaring out in all directions, not all of the pieces connected at the same time. It maps out the past, present and future in a way no one can truly comprehend: some pieces only connecting after centuries of time have gone by. Think if it was a more complicated version of the Moira from geek legends." He applied to me, knowing I had great knowledge in that field.

Or like the Three Witches in Shakespeare, my mind supplied for me as I tried to wrap it around the words being spoken.

"I would sure hope our lives aren't being created by three old women." Kuronue chimed in from the depth of my mind. Even though I was nowhere near close to forgiving his earlier behavior, my lips twitched slightly at his words.

"So if Kuronue is one of them… who are the others?" I eyed the other two strings with cautious curiously, eyeing them much like I might snakes.

"That, I do not know." Koenma replied. "I am not as all knowing as many think. I don't control such things, though as you see, I can glimpse upon them, perhaps if they were in the same room with us I could tell, for you would be connected by one of the ties. It is quite possible that they do not even exist on this plan of living yet. It is also possible that at one time, you had more strings attached to you."

I gave him a slightly startled look and he shrugged slightly. "But I… how did they come off?" Was I broken? Well okay, I already knew I was broken in some ways, but I hoped I wasn't that broken.

"That can happen for many reasons, the most normal being that the person had died and moved on into the afterlife. That's not the only possibility though, as soul mates can choose - if both agree - to sever that kind of bond. That doesn't mean they hate each other, just that, for one reason or another, things didn't work out. Such things aren't absolute, nothing in this world is." Koenma tilted his head slightly as I gave him an interested glance. "Like for example, it is quite possible, if things had been different, your relationship might have been different with Saito."

My jaw popped open and I stared at my boss like a teenager might if they got caught making out with someone in their room by a parent. Was he suggesting that Saito and I had once had the option of being life partners? Even more so, how did he even know about …that?

Koenma laughed slightly at my horrified face. "You must think me naïve. You forget I am much older than anyone you know."

"Yes well… it's hard to think of you as some wise old man when most of the time I've known you as a toddler…"

He sighed.

"You have a point." Slowly, he drew his hands away and I dropped mine, the strings fading into nothing, though I felt as if I could feel the loops on my fingers now, as if they were ghost. "What my father told you, was cruel, and I am sorry that you felt so trapped," he muttered. "You just have to remember that everything in life relevant, that every choice you make can change those strings. It is quite possible that if Kuronue had never died and been trapped in his pendant that you two might have never met, or you still might have, seeing at the barrier is now gone. It is also possible that if Kurama hadn't been forced to flee to Human World that you two might have never met as well, or that if both of them had lived you might have met both and yet, only one of them would have kept the fate string with you."

As he spoke I nodded my head, realizing just how complex the world truly was. It was like one big ever-changing puzzle, and frankly it made my head spin. It wasn't until my mind caught up with me that I truly registered what he had just head and jerked my head to look at him straight in the eyes.

"Kurama?" I muttered confused, Koenma nodded his head. Brow furrowed I fought at the confusing notion much like Kuronue was. "But… but you said you couldn't see who they were!" I accused. Koenma smirked at me, his teeth clenching the pacifier as he did so.

"That's true, but that doesn't mean I can't have a good guess about it." He teased, and I scowled. "Things must be complicated for the three of you." He said suddenly and I frowned glancing at the ground. "True, when you said my father was cruel, it is in more ways than one. Yet, normally, those of the Soul Detectives do end up isolated for one reason or another, it could be seen as a blessing to still find partnership. You are different though, and so, what will happen Izumi, is completely up to you and Kurama. If I am right, your bond to him is just as strong as the one you have with Kuronue."

Kuronue glowered quietly in the back of my head and I did my best to ignore him. I had always known this of course; my master had spent decades of time up on the mountain with only his soul partner. I hadn't thought it was on a cosmic level though, and that was kind of creepy.

Suddenly the need to fall into bed was ten times more prominent in my mind. I was sure though, that once the shock wore off, sleep would evade me until my mind felt less confused and cluttered.

"Thanks for telling me," I muttered after a few minutes and the prince nodded his head, walking over to his desk. I barely blinked when the motion sent papers cascading to the ground and he cursed.

"Now then." He prompted, ignoring the mess for the moment. "Your report?"

And just like that, things went back to normal. I gave a curt nod and straightened, placing my hand behind me and preceding to do as he had asked. I told him all I had learned that was solid, and he confirmed that Hiei had in fact sent the message that he had told me he would. When I told Koenma of my worries, of that rather disturbing information that connected the rebels to the attack on the ranch, he had given me a look that told me he was as worried as I was about what I had found.

"Did you find anything at the ranch that pointed to that?"

I shook my head. "Other than a few signs that lead me to believe my master is gone, I found nothing. I know there was a high class fire demon as well as a demon of earth that attacked us, maybe Hiei can take another look into the informant I found." I didn't allow myself to feel sadness about my master again; I had done so enough in the last few hours. Right now I needed to focus. I also kept my finding of the journal to myself, as I found no reason to tell Koenma of it yet. I wanted to find something first before I said anything, to honor my Master's privacy.

"Good idea. I'll send a message to Mukuro." He paused for a moment, looking at me with a slightly saddened expression for a moment. "I will also send the ferry girls back out again. Kyo's soul might be wondering lost."

I often forgot that Koenma had probably known my master a very long time. Kyo had been the second Soul Detective ever assigned, and it was only thanks to his partner's power of rewinding his timeline and age that he had still around to teach me.

Time powers were so much cheating…

I nodded my head again, blinking slowly as my bed called to me once more. Koenma must have realized this.

"That's all for now." He dismissed me. "Until we know more I can't send you out again. You can count on a mission with the SDF in the near future though. Once we nail down a place where the rebels are, you'll be going in."

I paused slightly, something sparking in my mind at the mention of the SDF. "How is Saito?" I asked, realizing I should have when Koenma had mentioned him before. The ruler nodded his head, expecting my question.

"He has all but recovered now, Kurama's and your quick thinking saved him from a lot of pain and bed rest. The healers were able to finish up what you started. You could see him now if you want."

I thought about the offer, and I would have liked to see my friend and make sure he was okay for myself. I also wanted to give him a good head smack from his little conversation with Kurama. My resolve however only lasted about three seconds before I brushed it aside for the time being.

"I will soon enough." I promised. "For now, I have other things to do."

"Very well. I will see you soon Izumi."

I don't remember much of leaving Spirit World and of making it back to the apartment. Kuronue had been very quiet since Koenma had told us about the truth of the world, and honestly I'm not sure if he had spoken if I would have heard him.

Sloppily, as if I had been drinking, I locked the door and staggered into my room, kicking off my boot - and almost tripping over them - and yanking off Kuronue's pendant where I dropped it on the nightstand. Just as the sun was rising for a new day I pulled my blackout curtains shut and finally, finally flopped onto my bed where dreamland welcomed me quickly.