My name is Oliver Queen. For five years I was stranded on an island with only one goal-survive. Now I will fulfill my father's dying wish. Make it home, right my wrongs. To use the list of names he left me and bring down those who are poisoning my city. To do this, I must become someone else. I must become something else.
"Variable acceleration. Most fighters work at the same pace. If you switch it up, you throw your opponent off his game." Oliver can feel the burn in his workout. There is something incredibly relaxing about hitting something. The sweat is pouring down his back and it's almost like he's back on Lian Yu and learning to fight all over again.
No one quite understands what "totally alone" means even if there were large chunks of time he was not "totally alone". During his last months on the island when he was getting ready to come home again he sometimes spent days without making a sound. Noise was jarring and also sometimes a savior. It told him about the wildlife. It warned him of approaching rain or storms. It made him aware of his surroundings.
Here where there was so much noise? He is always on high alert. A knife, a bullet, a car, anything could be right there. A second is all it takes to fall, to falter, to lose, to die. It takes one second and Oliver, more than anyone understands. He's seen it and experienced it. Death is always waiting around the corner. For now though, he can fight and breathe and sweat.
"Where'd you learn that?" Diggle huffs after a particularly loud crack of metal on skin.
"His name was Yao Fei."
"He give you those scars?"
"One of them." The arrow wound still feels strange to him. His first scar from the island. He knows it healed wrong, worse than some of his others. He can still remember the pain from that one even after so much had been done to him. That one will probably always hurt the most.
"You know one day you're going to be straight with me about what really happened on that island."
"Absolutely." Diggle goes down after another crack and Oliver smiles as he walks away "Not today!"
"Still some pretty sweet moves."
"Yep and tonight I'm going to use them on him. Scott Morgan runs water and power in the Glades. Jacks up the prices when people can't pay, shuts them down even in the dead of winter."
"That's at least a month away."
Diggle puts forth the idea of helping other people in Starling City. He demands to know why the list is the only option. Oliver can explain it to him but Diggle doesn't want to hear it. He wants Oliver to become Starling City's hero except Oliver never signed up for that. He's not on a hero's quest to stop crime in his city and be a source of inspiration and hope. He's trying to fix his father's mistakes. Once the last name is crossed off his list then he'll stop. He'll hang up the hood and move on with his life. Or maybe he'll die with the hood on. Either way he has no desire to play hero.
"There's more than one way to save this city Oliver."
"Not for me Dig. Crime happens in this city every day. What do you want me to do, stop all of it?"
"It sounds like you have a narrow definition of being a hero."
"I'm not a hero." He knows the statement falls on deaf ears. Diggle wanted to save the world when he joined the military. He cannot understand why another person doesn't feel the same. Oliver has never been a hero. He's had people depend on him in Hong Kong, Lian Yu, Russia, Starling, but he's never wanted that. He's never wanted to be the guy everyone looks to for answers. He doesn't have them.
Oliver heads home to change and shower. Diggle's words echo in his head but Oliver stands by it. He's no hero. He sits down at his computer and glances through the files he knows Felicity has been pulling up about the Hood. If she noticed his little surprise she hasn't removed it. That surprises him. He would have thought her computer would be meticulously looked over after the wipe but apparently she was too angry to look carefully.
She moves quickly. She's gathered far more intel than than the police. She's leagues ahead of them. She's already pulled up an old article from Coast City during his brief stay there two years earlier. A man in a green hood. She's flagged the article and flagged it with two words
First time?
He remembers that night vividly. It was the first time he put on the hood with the intention of helping people. He thought he'd rid himself of some of the darkness. Amanda Waller found him then and he headed back to the island.
Felicity is getting close. She already suspects him but she has no proof. No actual proof. He can work with that. Diggle can wear the suit again while he's with her. At the same time he knows it won't matter. She'll keep digging because she feels compelled to. He wonders if he was wrong to wipe her computers. Before then it was a curiosity. Now he is a mystery to be solved. Who is the man under the hood?
Thea meets him at the door of his bedroom. She wants to talk. She looks worried and at first he thinks it is something serious. She's hurt or needs help. No it's about their mother.
"Haven't you noticed she's been acting a little down lately? What am I saying? Of course you haven't."
"Well who are you to judge? Since when do you pay attention to how Mom's feeling?" Thea rolls her eyes at him and he's amused. She's worried about Walter being gone. He knows he should be more understanding but he barely knows Walter. His life is just the same with Walter being gone. He should care more but he doesn't. He doesn't have it in him anymore.
"Ah, guess who I just hung up with?" Moira Queen greets them. Thea and Oliver are equally weary. This could be anything. Anyone. This is dangerous.
"Janice Bowen. Carter's mother."
"Oh." Oliver can barely hide his distaste. He'd rather be stabbed with an arrow on Lian Yu.
"Carter Bowen." Thea looks like she'd rather be stabbed with an arrow on Lian Yu.
"The perfect son." Oliver groans.
"Perfect?"
"According to you Mom. Carter Bowen just won the national chess championship." Thea smiles and gets in on it.
"Carter Bowen is anchoring the debate team."
"You two are being ridiculous."
"Oliver, Carter just got accepted to Harvard AND Princeton!"
"Well Thea, that's because Carter got a perfect score on his SATs."
"How did he manage to study and cure cancer?"
"Fine you two. I get it." Moira struggles not to laugh. "Well they're coming for brunch and I expect you there."
"I have plans." Oliver spits out quickly.
"Yes well it's tomorrow."
"HA!" Thea looks giddy. "Inches from a getaway."
"You too Thea!'
"Snap."
"Nobody says that anymore Ollie."
"Okay but Mom, seriously, I can't be there."
"Oliver." She's got scary face on. Oliver knows he's about to lose the argument. She brings that face out only when she really wants something. Wait is that...nope guilt face. She's good. "I'm sure you two can make the sacrifice."
"We'll be there." He's quick to agree. He can manage an hour. Two tops.
"I hate you Ollie."
"Carter Bowen has perfected time travel and can probably help you escape Speedy."
"Carter Bowen survived five years on a deserted island and managed to cure the common cold," Thea adds as she exits. "And he brought me something better than an airport arrowhead!"
He chuckles at her retreating back. Carter Bowen...wonder where he ended up? He's probably still the perfect son. Great.
Diggle lies to him. Not only does he lie but he does it so convincingly. Oliver's not sure whether to be surprised or to simply applaud the man. Diggle put the injured cop right in front of him and the sad wife. How can he say no now? He can't. That much is obvious.
"Fine. Let's catch some bank robbers." Him and Diggle are at the factory warehouse soon enough and they're staring at the cameras from the earlier bank robbery. "You lied to me."
"You asked me to work with you, not for you. And you said it was because you understand the kind of man I am. Well Oliver I'm the kind of man who doesn't walk away when there's a chance to make a difference. Where are you going?"
"To make a difference apparently." Diggle and Oliver pour over the bank footage, checking all the angles the few cameras offer. While Oliver assesses the scene, pointing out the guy with the temper, the ring that will help ID him, he thinks. Felicity would probably have this information much faster than he can manage it. He hasn't spoken to her in a week. He wanted to give her space after his crash-and-burn moment in her apartment.
"The ring will get us an I.D." Oliver finally says. "High school rather than college probably."
"Yeah but even with photo enhancement you're going to have a problem getting a clear shot of the ring."
"It will have left an impression the police would have photographed. It'll be in evidence lockup."
"Oliver you can't be serious."
"I'm always serious Diggle."
Felicity was listening to the news report on the bank robbery when her computer pinged. Oliver Queen had apparently been spotted at a club downtown. Traffic cams have the Hood breaking into the police station. One man? Two? She still isn't sure. She turns her attention to the reports on Oliver Queen. One clean shot of him at the club will at least put him there. Of course the club prides itself on discretion and the only camera is by the main entrance. V.I.P.s like Queen will go in the side door.
She hasn't seen either men in the past week. She shouldn't be surprised but she is. She wants him to come see her. She wants Oliver. She doesn't know why or maybe she does. He's an interesting man. He's survived something horrible and he's trying to find his way home after five years. She knows he's still struggling but when he looks at her she...she wants it all.
She has never wanted like this before. She's fantasizing about him at night. She's picturing him under that hood during late night visits. She's imagining him in her place, in her life and she can't seem to stop. Why can't she stop?
It won't end well. For some reason she's sure of that. He's hiding something, holding something back from everyone. She cannot stand being lied to and he does it so well or not well depending on the situation. At the same time she's compelled to overlook them. He knows she knows he's lying and he's amused by it. Someday she'll figure him out...if he sticks around long enough.
Oliver rushes home to meet with Carter Bowen, grimacing the whole way. He knows the whole event is going to be painful and awkward and he doesn't have time for this. The Restons will be planning another heist. The police aren't even looking for the right people yet. Oliver doesn't want anyone else getting hurt because of them. It's off-putting that he cares. He shouldn't. A glance at his watch tells him he's on time...early actually.
As he steps on the porch his phone rings. He almost presses ignore, almost misses it. He figures it's Diggle with a general comment about Oliver ditching him again.
"Yeah?"
"Hi."
"Felicity? He stops dead in front of the door and turns to sit on the low wall. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I...I missed you." The warmth rushes through him and he smiles. He's been thinking about her all week but wanted to respect her boundaries.
"I missed you too. How?"
"Did I get your number? I've actually been stalking you since you came home. I have so many pictures...so many pictures. Shirtless. Shirtless all the time." She babbles and can't seem to stop. He doesn't want her to.
"How'd you know about my shirtlessness?"
"I…"
"Are you blushing Felicity?"
"No."
"Uh huh." He just listens to her breathing and Carter Bowen drops away. "So what are you doing on this sunny Sunday morning."
"Working. The servers need to be upgraded. I'm just sitting here waiting it to load up and I thought of you."
"Ah you were bored." She laughs and he smiles again. "Should I be insulted?"
"No. I'm bored and you were the first and only person I wanted to call. Oliver, I'm not stalking you. I may have hacked into your cell provider and gotten your number. I...they're overcharging you. You should switch carriers."
"Should I? Did you look at my credit card statements too?"
"Oliver I'm sorry. I didn't know how else to get your number. It's not like I can just walk into HR's office and demand."
"Felicity, I'm kidding. I'm more worried you'll find all my skeletons."
"In your cell phone records? What are you doing...hiring hitmen?"
"Can I see you?" He doesn't want to keep joking.
"You know where I am. I'm here. Here is where I am."
"If I could come now I would. I...I keep trying to stay away and I can't. Felicity I don't know what I'm doing but I just…"
"Want?" she whispers.
"Yeah. I shouldn't. I'm still damaged and a mess and I don't want to bring that darkness into your life."
"I want. I want so much and I shouldn't. We barely know each other."
"I barely know me anymore. I want to know you."
"So learn me Oliver Queen. I'll see you soon?"
"Yeah. Soon. I...Felicity? Thanks for calling. It will make this meal more bearable."
"I live to help. I hope I haven't kept you."
"Never." He's still smiling when he makes his apologies to his mother and the Bowens. Thea returns his smile and winks. She knows he's been talking to his mystery girl. His mystery girl who is hard to catch. He's never worked hard at his relationships and he wants this one to be okay. He doesn't want to screw this one up.
"We thought you were-" Janice begins.
"Dead?" Oliver replies. "I get that a lot."
"We're just glad he's home." Moira says sternly. This is not what she wants to talk about.
"Billionaire scion, castaway for 5 years? My agent says they're fighting over your life story," Carter jokes as he sips a glass of orange juice.
"I thought you were a neurosurgeon Carter?" Moira asks.
"I am. One minute I'm publishing a book on long term potentiation initiates the creation of a slow-moving protein synthesis and then an agent wants to make me the next Dr. Oz!"
"Why would he want you to be a wizard?"
There's laughter and Thea jokes about him needing to read some magazines but Oliver is already thinking about something else. He wishes Felicity was here even though he's not sure he would subject her to his family right now. It would be an inquisition. Does she have family? She must have family...but he's always talking about himself or his problems. Something to think about...
"I feel it is our duty as Starling City's more fortunate to help those most in need," Carter says. Thea rolls her eyes but Oliver does nothing. "Don't you agree Oliver?"
"You're the hero Carter. I'm just here. Here is where I am."
The silence rolls over the table and Oliver sips his own orange juice. It's too strong for him and he sets it aside. The eggs are already turning his stomach. His mother looks at him questioningly as everyone starts eating but he just sits there in silence.
"Here Mr. Oliver," Raisa says gently. She sets ice water in front of him and removes the stuffed omelette. Instead she places a plate of toast and two lightly salted eggs in its place. Instead of breakfast meat there is an apple, sliced.
"Thank you Raisa," he murmurs. He can feel everyone's eyes on him but he looks to his meal instead.
"Oliver?" his mother asks.
"Mom, Oliver doesn't eat strong tasting foods very often," Thea explains. "He says it upsets his stomach."
"I'm fine Mom really."
"I should have known Oliver. You should have told me. I never would have…"
"Sir?" Diggle interrupts and moves towards him. "Your liquor distributor's on the line."
"Diggle?"
"The Restons are hitting another bank," he whispers. "The alarm was just tripped."
"You'll have to excuse me Carter...Janice." Oliver is out of there as quickly as possible, grabbing a slice of toast on his way to the door.
His mother catches up to him on the threshold. She goes to touch his shoulder before her hand drops to her side.
"Oliver…"
"I'm sorry. Something's come up." He sees the disappointment in her gaze before he leaves but there is nothing he can do.
When Oliver stops the Restons from getting their score, he knows it's only a matter of time before they strike again. He needs to find them now but he doesn't even know where to start. Dig's on his heels as he marches through Queen Consolidated. The few workers in the building seem startled to see the Queen heir in the building on a Sunday.
"Hi." She jumps out of her chair nearly falling to the floor at his greeting. She blushes and turns to face him. Dig grunts in amusement.
"I didn't expect you to come to me. Here. I mean here. I didn't expect to see you here," she stammers. She's wearing slippers instead of heels and he finds it oddly adorable.
"I need your help. I'm trying to find an old friend and uh...I thought maybe you could help with the computer."
"I should just add 'personal internet researcher for Oliver Queen' to my job title. Happily I mean." At Diggle's grunt Oliver nearly blushes. He forgot Dig was with him. He's too busy watching her try to look intimidating in slippers with duck faces on them.
"This is John Diggle, my bodyguard. Dig this is Felicity Smoak, computer genius."
"I'm not really...I'm not." Oliver takes her hand and escorts her back to her chair. She falls into it, staring blankly at her computer. "What...what's his name?"
"Derek Reston." She finds the information effortlessly.
"So you guys met at the factory?"
"Factory?" Oliver hasn't been paying attention. He's been watching her fingers move over the keyboard. She has a twisty tie around her one finger and he can't help but wonder why.
"The Queen Steel Factory."
"Wait he worked for my father?"
"Not so close then? He was the factory foreman until your Dad moved all the production to China. 1500 workers lost their jobs. They lost everything."
Oliver sits back stunned. He knew his father made mistakes but he didn't realize just how many. 1500 people and families lost everything while his father padded their bank accounts. He doesn't even hear Diggle leave the room. He does feel her hand on his.
"You didn't know? I'm sorry. He was your father."
"It seems I never really knew my father." She slides closer to him and links her fingers with him. The twisty tie cuts into his finger and she rips her hand away.
"Sorry. I made a sandwich earlier and I always lose these." She pulls it off her finger and drops it on her keyboard. He watches it bounce to the floor and knows she probably won't find it again. He links his fingers with her before she can change her mind. She lets him.
"I don't know if I'll ever be able to make up for my father's mistakes."
"The fact that you're sitting here worried about this man you clearly don't know, means you are not your father. You're already trying to make a difference. Like the vigilante."
"Do you still think I'm him?"
"I don't know. I don't want to think you can just go out there and hurt people that way."
"Maybe he's trying to protect this city."
"There are other ways," she cuts him off. "There's always another way that doesn't involve killing."
"Would you go to dinner with me?" He asks abruptly and she looks confused. Their hands are still linked but when she looks at him he knows her answer. "It's a no again."
"It's a 'not right now'," she responds. "I'm sorry. I'm being a tease and hate that term. It's like when people think the only news a woman can have is engaged or pregnant."
"Can I ask why the answer's no?"
"I have to work every night this week and by Friday I'll be exhausted. When I go to dinner with you, I don't want to be falling asleep."
"We could have dinner in bed," he murmurs. A flush is creeping up her cheeks and he smiles broadly. Good to know. She's thought about it.
"Mmm...sounds nice but I'm not that kind of girl."
"I know." He can hear the beeping from the nearby room and she bolts upright.
"I have to get back to work," she says. She's halfway out the door before she turns back. Orchids."
"Hmm?"
"My thank you flowers. I love orchids too." She winks but doesn't look back as she heads into a nearby room.
"Sir?"
"Not a word Diggle."
"Wouldn't dream of it sir."
"I'm going to speak to Reston. Maybe I can get him to change his mind."
"Oliver, he had his chance. It's called not being a criminal."
"Diggle my father did this to him. This is because of me."
"Oliver listen to yourself. This is not your fault. The Restons are not the victims here."
"They wouldn't be doing this if my father had done the right thing. There's another way Dig and I have to try."
Diggle doesn't speak to him again and doesn't follow. Oliver finds Derek Reston in the bar near the old factory. He's indignant and has no patience for rich men. Oliver wants to help and when he hints at the bank robberies, Reston looks surprised.
The job offer is a no go. Oliver can understand pride. It's something he learned about on the island. What it means to have it and what it means to not. He also knows the sacrifices it takes to maintain it. Reston is intrigued but Oliver knows it's not enough. Reston is doing one more job and now he'll have to take them down. He wants to try a different way but he can't do it if those he is hunting refuse to cooperate.
The fundraiser is loud and Oliver looks over the food options groaning. Everything is fancy and overdone. He skips it heading it for the bar. When he orders a glass of water the bartender looks confused. This party has free alcohol and he wants water? Him? Oliver Queen? He doesn't know how long he'll be here but he writes a check for CNRI, glancing over the information about their important work.
His phone beeps and he tugs it out, opening the text. The white and yellow orchids are sitting by her bed and she's lying there, smiling. It's nothing risque but he's affected either way. His thumb runs over her cheek and he smiles. She'll say yes eventually.
"Oliver, I'm surprised you made it with your hectic schedule," his mother says. She's next to him holding a plate of food, offering him some absently. He shakes his head and sips his water
.
"I'm sorry Mom. I messed up. I made you a promise and I couldn't keep it."
"Oliver, it's nothing new. I know we've had our differences but I always thought we had a connection. Can you just imagine after being granted the miracle of having my only son return to me, he wants nothing to do with me."
"Mom it's not like that. It's complicated."
"Oliver I'm not sure why you come home at all. Clearly whatever or whomever you see at night is more important."
"Mom I don't come at night because I can't sleep there." She looks startled and faces him fully, her gaze full of questions. "I sleep outside mostly, sometimes at the warehouse when it rains. I have nightmares and I can be violent. I won't risk Thea or you."
He's not exactly lying. Most of what he's said is true. It's why he pushes himself as the Hood. It's why he works himself to exhaustion. He doesn't know how to relax anymore. Sleep is vulnerability and he struggles with being exposed. Diggle might guess but he doesn't bring it up.
"Oh Oliver, why didn't you say any-"
"Sir?" Diggle interrupts and mentions the Restons. Oliver looks at his mother and can already see her disappointment. He tries to apologize but she's already turning from him. Again he's disappointed his family. He nearly pauses when he sees Thea stumble in drunkenness but he can't wait. The Restons need to be stopped. He can't wait.
Reston is pleading with him to understand. He turned his son into this. His son is paying for his sins. Oliver understands better than anyone. It doesn't save Reston and it didn't save his father. Reston still bleeds out in a bank in the middle of the night with only Oliver by his side. His son will still go to prison. His family will still be broken. Another thing Oliver understands…
Diggle's comfort does nothing for him. He doesn't want to talk about Reston or his father or the cop in the hospital who had been shot. It didn't matter. He tried a different way and it didn't work. He couldn't save him. Diggle tries to tell him his other way matters. He got justice for the cop who was shot. He stopped bank robbers who would have hurt others. Maybe but he doesn't feel any better about it.
He watches his mother pour her drink, sighing to an empty room. Raisa has already told him Thea is drunk and sleeping it off. He doesn't know why she got drunk but that's another problem. It's just another symptom of the poison in this city. Families are breaking every day and he can't save them all. He can't even save his own.
"I'm sorry about tonight." She puts the alcohol down and turns to face him. His mother doesn't smile or offer anything at all. "I...don't want to hurt you."
"You were being honest Oliver. You used to be able to tell me everything and now even when you're here it's like you are still on that island. I miss you and I don't know how to get you back."
"I don't know how to come back Mom. I'm not that guy anymore. I'm not...I'm different. I don't know how to be any of this anymore."
"Honey," she hugs him but he doesn't break. He just hugs her back. It's not the same. He dreamt of this kind of comfort for years but he's still cold inside. He doesn't know how to come home even though he decided to. He doesn't know how to be Oliver Queen anymore.
"Are you hungry?" She's surprised but happy when they sit down at Big Belly Burger. Carly's not there and neither is Diggle. She's trying to cut her burger with a knife and fork and he stops her. "It's okay to get your hands dirty."
"This food is okay?" she asks hesitantly.
"Yeah. It's just meat and a slice of cheese. I didn't get condiments and I'll eat the fries without anything. The milkshake might be too much but...I'll soldier through."
"You lied to me this morning."
"Hmm?"
"When you said your were late because of traffic for the Bowens. You lied. You arrived fifteen minutes early. I saw you."
"I got a phone call."
"And that was more important than brunch with me?"
"Not more important Mom."
"Oliver I'm kidding. Whomever you spoke to made you smile and relax. You came into brunch calm. It was refreshing."
He doesn't respond. He doesn't really know what to say. He's not ready to share Felicity with his family. He craves those interactions and he's afraid if he shares it then it will be ruined. Right now it's his and only his.
"You know I'll bet Carter Bowen doesn't know where to find the best burger joint in Starling City."
"So I have one thing on him."
"No. You have everything on him."
She's sleeping when he crawls in the window. The orchids are right where they were in the picture and she's smiling. He shouldn't be here. He knows this. He knows it's wrong to be here in the middle of the night in her bedroom but he wanted to see her even if for a moment.
"I left the window open for you," she murmurs sleepily. "I left my computer up so you can wipe it."
"I didn't come here for that."
"Hmm…"
"You're right about Coast City." She sits up suddenly and stares at him, blinking up at him. She tugs her glasses on and watches him prowl around the small room. His bow is on the window sill and for some reason she feels safe. She shouldn't. He's dangerous. He was involved in a bank shooting.
"That was your first time? Really?" She's thankful she wore full pjs tonight. She almost...well that's another fantasy for after he leaves. She steps behind him and pauses. "Am I close?"
"Too close," he rasps. He jumps when she touches his shoulder and she feels like she's touching dynamite. He's larger than she remembered. She can feel his muscles through the costume and she should be scared. He could really hurt her. She's read the police reports. She knows what he's capable of doing.
"Why are you here?"
"I wanted to offer you a job. I could use someone with your skills."
"No." It's quiet but forceful. "I don't want to help you hurt people."
"That's a narrow view of what I do. I'm stopping crime lords and punishing the guilty who are destroying this city."
"You're shooting people with arrows! Those people have families. They have people who will miss them! Who are you to play judge, jury, and executioner?"
"Fear is motivation."
"So is actual justice. They can go to prison and serve their time."
"They'll never spend a single night in prison. With their money, their resources? They'll be out and destroying this city."
"It's not your job to fix the system!"
"I've made it my job."
"I can't help you with that. I won't be a part of that."
"I understand."
He's at the window before she can speak. She rushes towards him and stops him with a hand on his shoulder. She can't see his face but she hopes he can see hers.
"Be safe. You're trying to do something good even when I don't agree with it. It's honorable to try."
He's gone before she can say anything else. She doesn't see him on the street but she's knows he out there. The bank robbery was different tonight. The police report mentioned he stayed with the dying man. He tried to save him. She looks at her phone light up across the room and moves to check the message.
Please say yes to dinner -O
She looks back to the open window and then to her phone. She's the girl who was going to save the world and didn't consider the consequences. She yelled at the head of a major company and didn't look back. She's the girl who just said no to a vigilante. She types in her response and puts the phone down, slipping back into bed.
On the roof of her building, Oliver waits and smiles. The sirens go off nearby and he's off. The city still needs saving and maybe there is another way.
Thanks for reading. I'm working on 107 which is the introduction of Helena. I'm having a bit more difficulty placing Felicity into that particular chapter so far. She might only encounter the Hood in 107. The date will be in 108.
