My name is Oliver Queen. For 5 years I was stranded on an island with only one goal-survive. Now I will fulfill my father's dying wish to use the list of names he left me and bring down those who are poisoning my city. To do this, I must become someone else. I must become something else.

The knife rips through his skin and he can hear his screams echoing around him. The blood is trickling down his stomach. The binds are tight and the man behind the mask is enjoying it. He can't break. He can't tell them. He doesn't know why he just knows he can't give in to the torture.

"Oliver!" a hand is shaking him and his hand reaches out tightening around his attacker's throat. They're hurting him and they need to stop. A hand spasms over his grip and the other touches his face. "Oli.."

His eyes shoot open and he sees Felicity. He's choking her and he spins away from her, slipping over the couch to the floor. He backs himself against her kitchen island, knocking a stool over. He hurt her. He put marks on her. She'll bruise and it will be his fault. He's shaking and apologizing, remembering when he attacked his mother.

"It's okay," she rasps. She's holding him and he's shaking. He can't relax his body into her but she's there, hugging him and telling him everything will be okay.

"I hurt you," he whispers.

"I shouldn't have touched you." she murmurs. "You're not supposed to touch someone when they're having a nightmare. I just...you were screaming."

"I hurt you."

"I'm okay. My throat's a little sore but I'll live." Finally he wraps his arms around her middle. He has her arms around his head and he rests against her breasts. He can't even enjoy the moment because he's still locked in the pain. Her hands soothe over his back and she doesn't comment on his wet shirt or the way he shakes against her. She just holds him.

They sit there for minutes or hours, he's not sure. Her breathing levelled out awhile back and he knows she is sleeping. Her hands are not moving against him anymore but he can feel her fingers on his back. He won't sleep again tonight but he can enjoy this moment. She didn't ask him to explain or demand to know what he dreamt about. She just accepted it and moved on. He knows his time is running out with her. At some point she'll want answers and then all of this will end.

He closes his eyes and rests. He'll enjoy it while he can.


He slips her into her bed when Diggle's call comes in. Helena is on the move again. Felicity murmurs something sleepily and he has to fight to remove her hand from around his neck. He slips the quilt over her and takes one more second to touch her cheek. The note is next to her bed, waiting for her to read it. He knows it won't cover it but he needs to thank her. He needs to tell her what she did for him matters.

Suited up, Oliver stops Helena from shooting the leader of the triad. The last thing Starling City needs is a mob war and Helena has no problem putting all the innocent people at risk. He manages to convince her to talk to him.

"I have weakened my father's organization to the point if the Triad comes after him it will fall."

"Then you'll have your revenge?"

"I'll have justice," she corrects.

"It's not justice."

"And what is it you do?"

"Let me show you. Let me show you there is another way."

"Look, before we do this...whatever this is we should get this out of the way. I kissed you and you shot me down. We're not anything and I don't owe you a thing."

"I'm getting involved with someone else. You're my friend and I want to make sure you're okay."

"I'll be fine once I've gotten back at my father."

"What if I could show you another way, a way you could take down your father's organization without putting innocent people at risk like my mother?"

"I'll listen. No promises."


Oliver knows he only has a brief window to help Helena stop. She's standing on a line that divides the right and wrong, good and evil. He's been toeing that line for years and he's still not sure which side he's on. He's done terrible things but some of those things have been done to protect others. How will he know when he has gone too far?

"Last time we spoke you were off to talk Helena from her one-woman war against organized crime. A bunch of Bertinelli's men were found with their necks snapped. I assume it went poorly?" Diggle sits down across from Oliver and waits.

"I was with her when she was jumped. We didn't have a choice."

"We? Oliver this is not just your secret anymore. She's a killer. She's been dropping bodies all over the city and you just want to what? Help her?"

"She's not what you think she is. She tried to turn her father in and her father had her fiance killed when he thought it was Michael."

"That's heavy man but that doesn't change who she is."

"I can save her. She's lost and I can stop her from doing anything reckless."

"You can't save her okay? Some people don't change. Either way all of this, it ends badly."

"I have to try Dig."

"Well while you sit here and confuse right and wrong Oliver, you can call Ms. Smoak." Diggle finally says. He tosses Oliver the phone with a grunt. "I'm not your secretary."

"What?"

"Felicity called this morning while you were trying to convince Helena not to murder people. She wants to talk to you about dinner. She seems nice."

"She's going to cancel our date."

"Maybe. Why should you care? You have your project with Helena."

"I hurt her last night. I had a nightmare and I almost strangled her."

"And how did she react?"

"She...she understood."

"There you go. You're sitting down here so concerned with Helena and her revenge that you've forgotten you have a woman who is asking you for nothing. It seems like you have the wrong priorities."

Diggle left him sitting there and Oliver wondered if Diggle would be back. He needed to help Helena. He knew what it meant to be drowning in anger and hate and pain. He couldn't let her lose herself and change into something terrible.

The phone rang and he waits, sighing. She was going to end things. They hadn't even started yet but he'd known when she held him the night before. That would be the last time. There was no way she would want to spend time with a man who almost killed her.

"Oliver," she breathed. "Sorry I'm laying upside down working on a computer right now."

"Should I call back?"

"No..no! I just wanted to explain why I sound weird." She drops silent for a second and he hears a clatter in the background. "Sorry I almost stabbed myself with a screwdriver. How are you?"

"I'm okay."

"Oliver stop acting weird. You had a nightmare, almost strangled me, and then we slept on the floor for a few hours. What you do that with every girl? Way to make me feel like one of the many!"

"You're not one of the many. You're the only."

"Well that's...that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I...wanted to know about dinner. We didn't talk about it."

"I just figured you wouldn't want to go to dinner after last night."

"Of course I do. It's not your fault Oliver. You need to stop blaming yourself for everything."

"I hurt you Felicity."

"Oliver did you mean to hurt me?"

"Well no but I-"

"Do you want to hurt me?"

"Well no-"

"Then I want you to take me to dinner. I'm going to wear something pretty and sit in a chair instead of the floor. I'm not going to be wearing pjs this time."

"You look nice in pjs."

"...that's not fair. I have to fix four more computers, attend two meetings and fix my supervisor's computer because he's too busy with actual work to do so. Now I get to think about you and pjs and kissing."

"Will there be kissing?"

"I hope so."

"Tonight. 7?"

"Tell me where and I'll meet you. It's not because I think you're a crazy serial killer who will take me to an abandoned part of town and use your serial killer kit on me because I've had you in my apartment but more like I'll have to get ready at work and meet you there."

"I'll leave my serial killer kit at home, I promise."

"Good. So it's a date?"

"It's a date. Oh and Oliver? I look amazing out of Pjs too."

She hangs up before he can respond. He knows she meant other clothes but his mind jumps to the only logical place. It's a long time before Oliver Queen heads out to talk to Helena and even then he's not sure his mind is present.


"I don't want to talk Oliver."

"I just want you to listen Helena." He's taken her to Sara's grave. The story is short but he hopes it will make an impact. Revenge is the only way to get people hurt. She needs to change her ways like he changed his.

She's not skilled with a bow. She's barely able to keep her focus on the task at hand while he tries to train her. She wants the impact of a gun and she's unwilling to wait for the training to kick in. She's frustrated and quickly favors the crossbow. It's click and shoot.

"Our crusades are similar. Mine started with my father too. He left me with a list and a goal to remind people that Starling City isn't theirs for the taking."

She flips through the list, marking names she knows. She's circling Anthony Venza's name when Diggle comes in.

"Helena, this is Diggle my associate."

"Well any associate of Oliver's is-"

"Absolutely nothing to you ma'am." Diggle shoots Oliver a look and Helena gets the picture. She's out of the room quickly, grabbing her crossbow on the way out.

"I love the fact the crazy revenge girl knows my name."

"You can trust her."

"I thought you were going after the IT girl? Now it's the revenge girl?"

"No but that's not really any of your business."

"Oliver, you brought me into this and you need to keep your head straight. You're like an addict trying to handle your own addiction by trying to save another addict. You can't change her. She's already too far gone."

"You done?"

"Yeah I'm done."


He manages to convince Diggle to monitor Helena's activities. Diggle makes it clear he's not interested in dealing with Helena but he's willing to keep an eye on her. After the Venza drug bust, Diggle is sure Helena will go after the triad. Oliver hopes not. He hopes she can find the other way.

She loves her new costume and brandishes her crossbow with pride. She was happy with the Venza takedown and never went too far. Oliver has high hopes and wonders for the first time if maybe saving Helena will prove to himself he's not broken.

The restaurant is packed and Oliver doesn't see Felicity. He's early for the first time in forever and he's at a loss. The hostess assures him they'll get him a table.. He heads for the bar to wait for Felicity and finds Tommy and Laurel instead.

"Tommy? What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for a table and starving," Laurel offers as she steps around Oliver. "We've been waiting forever for a table."

"It's opening night Laurel. We'll get a table soon." Laurel rolls her eyes but looks up at Oliver questioningly.

"I haven't seen you in awhile. How's your Mom?"

"Good." Oliver's distracted. He keeps looking for her. He's afraid she'll stand him up after last night. Even though she said she wants to be here, he can't help but wonder if she was trying to be polite.

"So Oliver, hot date?" Tommy asks. "I mean you didn't come here to eat with your bodyguard right?"

"I…" He sees her then. Her red dress shows off her legs and there is just a tease of cleavage. He's seen her in pjs but there is something different about seeing her looking like this for him. Her hair is down, piled over her shoulder and her shoes shimmer in the date-night lighting. She is without her glasses and she's fumbling with her clutch, tucking her phone away. She's beautiful and he's rendered speechless. She doesn't see him and he just watches her while Tommy attempts to find more peanuts for Laurel to munch on.

She smiles at him in that odd little subconscious way she does the moment she sees him. The room seems to part for her or at least his mind is so wrapped up in how amazing she looks and the fact she's here, it seems like it does. He barely hears Laurel and Tommy when she reaches him. His hand slips down her arm and he's kissing her again. She squeaks in surprise but he can feel her clutch against his back.

"Hi." she whispers when he pulls back. He scrutinizes her neck but sees no marks. "I told you you didn't hurt me."

"Good." He hugs her tighter for a second and jumps when Tommy clears his throat. "You look amazing."

"Thank you. Sorry I'm late. My boss spilled a coffee on his laptop."

"Poor guy."

"The lack of bullet holes helped. Did you ever find a better coffee shop?"

"No. I might need an excuse to come see you."

"Ollie, seriously, get a room," Tommy's voice is a little loud and Felicity blushes an adorable shade of red. Her eyes drop to her shoes while Oliver turns to face Tommy and Laurel. Tommy seems amused but a little uncomfortable with the scene while Laurel has an unreadable expression on her face.

"Sorry. Felicity Smoak, this is Tommy Merlyn and Laurel Lance." Felicity reaches out to shake their hands. Laurel goes quickly but Tommy clasps her hand.

"Wait you're pajama girl!"

"Well that's flattering," she mumbles. "I told you I've become pajama girl in your life."

"There are worse things," Oliver replies.

"You are! You're the girl that yelled at Oliver when he had that almost going to jail party," Tommy is delighted. Laurel is looking at Oliver's hand linked with Felicity's. He's not even sure what to make of that. Felicity is talking to Tommy and being adorable with one handed gestures. A few times she raises their linked hands as she describes the traffic getting here.

Oliver checks with the hostess but the place is packed and no amount of money is going to move things along. He stands next to Felicity listening to her charm Tommy and reveal all kinds of odd things about herself. She shudders when she talks about kangaroos and he can't help but kiss her again.

"Tommy we've been here an hour and we're not even seated yet," Laurel says suddenly. "Maybe we should just go."

"No. Laurel I...I'll go ask again," Tommy goes to move and Felicity reaches out to stop him.

"Big Belly Burger is down the street. We could all just grab burgers?" Tommy and Laurel look somewhat horrified by the suggestion. They're at the hottest opening in months and she wants fast food.

"That sounds amazing," Oliver pays the bar tab and waits for Felicity to grab her clutch. He tucks her close to him knowing they're heading into the Glades and while he can defend her, he doesn't want to court disaster.

He hears Tommy and Laurel following them and sighs. This is not what he wanted tonight. Felicity babbles next to him, telling him about her day and the screwdriver that almost stabbed her. It takes him a second to realize she's asking him about his day. He answers as simply as possible leaving out the majority of information about Helena. No good can come from that discussion.

He finally tells her a story about Thea when she was younger and how the two of them got into so much trouble. Felicity laughs at the story while Tommy and Laurel are quiet behind them. Periodically Tommy interjects his own memories of Speedy but Laurel remains silent.

"You love your sister very much," Felicity said. "It must be difficult to relate being so far apart in age."

"I don't know. I've loved her since she came home from the hospital. I'd do anything for her."

"I'm an only," she offers. "Just me and my mom." Before he can ask about her father, they're entering Big Belly Burger and eying the cooking food with hunger.

Carly seats them at Big Belly Burger. The girls take the interior of the booth with the guys on the outside. Carly asks him where Diggle is and he mentions giving him the night off.

"He seems like a good guy," Felicity says. "He seems to understand you."

"Yeah Dig has an interesting perspective," Oliver replies. "Dig knows what it is like to come back from something life-changing. Special Forces…"

"Wow. So he's not the person from last night? You seem to respect him."

"No not Diggle." She chatters on while they look at the simple menu telling him how Diggle seems to be a good friend.

Soon enough they have their food and Felicity is all smiles and energy. He's quiet, watching her tell Tommy about M.I.T. and answering any question Oliver throws out. She's practically an open book except for the occasional skirting of a topic. She's careful talking about her family but she's gesturing wildly when she describes her newly built computer. Her hand falls to his knee under the table and before she can pull it back, he's holding it there.

"So you really filled your father's pool with beer? How many cases did that take?" Felicity seems completely baffled by the amount of wealth being discussed. It's like a foreign world. Oliver is smiling and laughing at some of Tommy's old stories and for a while it seems normal again.

"About a thousand."

"I thought your Dad was going to kill you." Oliver laughs. "He was so angry."

"It was close but drowning in beer? What a way to go."

"So how did you two meet?" Laurel asks suddenly.

"I ruined a computer and Oliver rescued me," Felicity replies. "Saved my job."

"I've seen you work. You would have fixed it."

"My skills are amazing. So how did you and Tommy meet?"

"Oh we've all known each other for years. Grew up together." Laurel answers.

"Too long sometimes," Tommy says bitterly. "So-"

"So how's the nightclub coming Ollie?" Laurel breaks in again suddenly. Felicity looks surprised but she just chews on a few fries while she follows the conversation.

"Slower than I expected. I've been...distracted." He knows Laurel and Tommy thinks he means Felicity and on some level he does. He's been distracted by her and the potential she offers.

"Well then you must be happy to have the extra help."

"Laurel I'm sure Oliver doesn't want to talk about work right now," Tommy says quickly. "So Felicity you said you're from Vegas?"

"You didn't ask him? I can believe you Tommy. Tommy said he was going to talk to you about working for you at your night club."

"Really?" Oliver laughs. At Tommy's face he stops. "Sorry I didn't think you wanted any responsibility."

"You've always wanted to get into business with Tommy," Laurel says. "Remember Aspen and the ski lodge?"

"You working for me could be fun," Oliver offers quietly. Tommy storms off at that point and Laurel makes apologies as she races after him.

"Not to make light of the clearly issue-ridden fight there, but this is the nicest date I've been on in awhile," Felicity says. "Seriously, I've been on some really terrible dates since college. Horrifying really."

"Can I get the two of you anything else?" Carly interrupts.

"Yeah. Can you find like a really big bowl and just fill it with chocolate ice cream? Sprinkles and chocolate fudge and two spoons? This is an ice cream kind of date right now. No nuts though. I'm allergic." Oliver kisses her again as Carly goes off to get the ice cream. "What?"

"Nothing. You just make me happy."

"You know Laurel is still in love with you right?" she says suddenly. She doesn't seem upset.

"No."

"Trust me she is."

"Well it's over between us."

"I'm just saying it's an issue that will come up again."

The ice cream is a great end to the date. Tommy and Laurel never come back and there is no word from Diggle surrounding Helena. He finds himself telling her about the early days on the island. He skips Yao Fei and Fyers but manages to convey the hunger and thirst. She slips closer when he talks about building a grave for his father.

The cab they share is over too fast and he's walking to her door. He knows she's thinking about inviting him in but he wants to do right about her. Their goodbyes are lengthy, pressed against her door.

"When can I see you again?" he manages between goodbyes. Her forehead is pressed to his and her eyes are still shut. "When?"

"I'm free Wednesday night."

"I'll be free," he murmurs. "I'll make sure of it."

He regretfully lets her go into her apartment and walks away from her door. He doesn't make it out of the building before it hits him. He's falling in love. He can't fall in love right now. The list and his mission should come first. He jumps when his phone rings. It's Diggle calling about the deaths of various triad members that springs him into action. He'll worry about Felicity later. Right now he needs to deal with Helena.


Helena's been dropping bodies all over the city. Oliver's been tracking her progress and knows it is only a matter of time before she finds the triad leader. He's called Diggle, leaving him a message asking for his help back at the lair. He needs to locate Helena before she starts a gang war in the Glades.

"I should have listened to you." Diggle doesn't say a word as he comes to sit in front of a suited-up Oliver. "You were right about everything."

"Oliver you said you wanted to help her change but the thing is she already did. When her father killed her fiance, she changed into something dark and twisted."

"I wanted to believe I could help her. Maybe the universe owed me one."

"She's already crossed the line Oliver. She's not trying to save the city or protect people. She's after her own vendetta no matter the cost."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"What you have to. Protect our city."


The triad leader is murdered. Oliver knows it was Helena and she's now going to sit back and watch the war. She'll be close to her father for her final revenge. He stops her before she manages to kill her father. He watches her own father shoot her with her crossbow and for a moment considers killing the man. It goes against everything he is trying to stand for but the man deserves some pain. His bow hitting the man calms Oliver down.

Helena comes to and wants nothing to do with Oliver. She's pushing him away and gathering her things around the lair.

"He should be dead!" she yells in the space.

"He's a criminal Helena. He'll go to prison for a long time. The police have the laptop"

"That's not enough Oliver. He needs to pay and I'm not going to stop. You aren't going to stop me."

"You think because you've killed Helena, you understand what it is like to have blood on your hands. You have no idea what that does to you especially when it is your father's."

"You're fooling yourself. I saw you with that blonde trying to pretend you can be normal. You are so desperate to feel normal again that you are pretending you can have it all. You can't. Neither of us can. It's the mission or nothing."

"What you want isn't justice Helena!"

"No it's not. It's revenge and that's what I want. You can keep pretending that she'll accept you and you can have the white picket fence while shooting people with arrows. One of these days she'll see you for what you are and then you'll wish you listened to me."

"Helena!"

"If I see you again, I'll expose you. Stay away from me Oliver."


Diggle slides into the booth, grabbing a fry from the basket. They sit in silence for a moment as Diggle assesses the situation. He's good at that.

"You know Oliver I'm no expert at this but I don't think love is about changing or saving a person. I think it's about finding the person who's already the right fit."

"What are you talking about?"

"Helena filled your head with crap. She told you how the island changed you, made you filled with hate and anger. She wants revenge over justice. She's managing to make you rethink your entire mission right now."

"Your point?"

"Felicity Smoak. You are so worried about healing or being better for her that you've missed your stop. Helena messed you up with all her crap and you're still thinking you're broken. You're not broken Oliver. You're trying to figure out how you fit in the world."

"What if I am like Helena?"

"You're opening up and taking a risk. There are no promises in life. Stop worrying about all the things you cannot change and just accept the fact that girl seems to like who you are now."

"What if I hurt her or am too...damaged?"

"I'd let her be the judge of that." Diggle smiles when Carly puts some food down in front of him Munching on fries he continues "Maybe she's just the first of many or maybe Felicity Smoak is the girl you're going to share everything with. Why knows? Let her tell you when you've gone too far. For now see where it takes you and when you get closer then decide if you can trust her with your secrets. Trust me Oliver, your secrets are going to matter eventually."


Oliver doesn't like thunder ever since the island and he listened to it rumbling from the living room. He knew he probably wouldn't sleep during the storm. That was fine. He had plenty to think about now that Helena had fled Starling City. He thought he could help her but in the end he failed her and himself. There was also the discussion with Diggle to give thought. He still had a long way to go to be the man he wants to be.

"Hey." Tommy is hesitant as he enters the room. "I'm sorry about last night."

"I shouldn't have let it get that far," Oliver says forgiving Tommy. "I should have not let us eat together."

"I've been stupid. My dad...he cut me off. I'm living on fumes."

"Why didn't you say something? My trust fund is your trust fund."

"No. That's the easy way. I want to prove I can do this Oliver. I'm almost thirty years old and I've never had any responsibility. I just want a job."

"Done."

"Thanks man."

"Always Tommy."

"So Felicity what's going on there?"

"I don't know. I'm seeing her again on Wednesday."

"Good. I don't know what's going on with me and Laurel but you...you deserve to move on from our weirdly incestuous romances."

"Tommy. I hope everything works out between you and Laurel."

"Me too. Me too."


Okay so Laurel came off a bit bitchy. Here's the thing. I'm not anti-Laurel. As a character she grows on me. The thing is, I watched her scenes in this episode 4 times and I'm sorry she's totally bitchy at the restaurant and to Tommy. The fact no one called her on it bums me out.

I rewrote the date scene three times before this one. The other ones were way too similar to the Helena/Oliver/Laurel/Tommy date and they didn't feel right. Oliver/Felicity dress up and go to dinner in the show but I always picture them at Big Belly Burger or sitting at home. It's just more intimate.

Next up is the holiday party and the introduction of the Dark Archer. Thanks for reading!