I know, I know, I took forever once again. -blocks sharp objects with shield.- Hey now, if you want to blame someone blame Bioware for their amazing game that not only fried my brain but sent me on a tirade of fandoming. Really, if your a gamer, you'll love DA:I, and if you already do, be sure to check out my one short: Tethered Hearts.

This Chapter... this chapter took me forever to get done. Which is sad because, honestly, its on of the base ideas that started the whole story. It had to be perfect and I'm still not sure it is, but I couldn't hold it away from you guys any longer, wouldn't be fair. Still no beta reader, so you'll have to bare with my minimal ability to find my own mistakes.

Enough of my excuses though, no one wants to hear them yes? After all, you all finally get to known the big secret: What happened to Izumi in her past. A word to the wise though, this is one of the chapters that made me make this story 'M' Nothing too bad, but still a warning.

as always, thank you to Counting Sinful Stars and Spycat for your reviews, I love them all.

Enjoy!

D.R.O.H


Chapter Thirteen: Sacrifice

The trip from Spirit World back to my apartment was anything but normal. It took me three tries to get the key in the door and even then, I dropped the damn thing when I pulled it back out.

I was frazzled, worried, brain numbingly conflicted.

Kurama retrieved my key as I tore at my boots, trying to figure out how to go about any of what needed to be done. He needed to know that much was easy to see. I just had no idea how to tell him, I had never had to tell anyone. Koenma and Saitō knew because they had watched it occur, Kuronue found out from nightmares and memories that I hadn't been able to lock away in the early days of my second chance.

"Breath Izumi." Kuronue coached as I half stumbled into the kitchen and let my bag drop with a 'thunk' onto the floor. Grabbing a glass for some water I concentrated on calming down as the bat demon said, and used the sink to fill my glass. "This is Kurama, you know you can talk to him." Taking a sip of water I nodded to myself before setting the glass down and looking over my shoulder.

Kurama was leaning on the wall, giving me a worried yet calm expression. He didn't want to push me, but he looked like he wanted answers. I had to give them now, but it made me wonder if he would ever trust me again.

"There's a lot to say." I spoke up finally sighing as I looked back down at the sink. "Too much maybe, how do I even start?" Too many lies, too many hours spent telling them and living them. It was almost like telling someone else's story now, not my own.

"I know." Kurama replied, his voice taking a soothing edge. "Why don't you start with telling me who was on the tape?"

"Just let him lead the conversation for now." Kuronue offered and then paused for a moment before adding, "And take the pendant off."

I was startled, nearly knocking over my glass at his words. "What? Kuronue…"

"You don't need my thoughts in your head for this Izumi. Your going to have to relive what you buried, and it will become muddled if I'm there, pushing my emotions onto you. Just like with Koenma."

The red-hot anger I had felt only a little while ago told me he was right. Pressing my lips together, I clenched at the pendant with one hand. "Thank you." I waited for him to speak again, but when he didn't I gently pulled the necklace free and set it down on the counter. If Kurama saw – which he probably did – he didn't say anything, just simply waited for me to answer his question. Taking in a deep breath, I spoke words I hadn't in years.

"That was my little brother, his name is Damien." Robotic, that how my answer sounded I realize. All I could muster was to sate the fact; any emotion behind it only caused pain.

"Brother?" Kurama asked, clearly surprised. I turned, pressing my back into the counter as I looked at him. He truly looked shocked, which meant I had done a very good job of hiding it. His eyes searched my face and he frowned. "I thought…"

I raised an eyebrow at him, surprised he was so muddled. His reasoning hit me far too quickly for me to really bask in a confused redhead though. It was amazing, how well I knew him now; I could follow his thought processes, his reasoning easily when he put his guard down like this. "…You thought my family was dead." It was a statement, for the looked on his face left no room for questions.

"It was what I had come up with, yes." He replied, pushing off from the wall, to move a little closer, his hands moving from behind his back as he gestured around. "You don't have any photos of them, nor have you ever said anything other then what I knew was a carefully laid out act. Further more, you don't live with them, if you did I think your story would be quiet different."

I smiled slightly. He was too smart sometimes. I wondered how long ago he'd figured all of that out. It was too bad he was wrong. "My family isn't dead. Before tonight, I thought them to be safe and happy." My smile disappeared at my own words. "My story, my real one is much more complicated."

"Izumi…"

For some reason his voice, thought one of comfort only stung like I'd touch a nettle. It made me jumpy, and far too panicked.

"That's not my real name, you know." I blurted out before I could even think about it. Glancing up at the redhead from my nice spot on the floor I saw him falter, taking a small step backwards as if he'd been punched or shoved. The hurt on his face only made it clearer it had likely felt like a punch. I bit my lip, relenting slightly. "Well, okay that's not completely true. Izumi is my middle name, I just started going by it when I came back. It was a way to… distance myself from her."

"Her?" Kurama whispered, straightening in his stance again. My lips twitched slightly and I sighed looking up to the ceiling.

"The person I use to be."

It was quiet again for a few minutes, just the ticking of the clock in the background as I reached out and took another sip of my water before replacing the glass to the counter. When I looked at the redhead again I gave him a small smile, one he didn't return but at least he held no malice in his face or eyes, just confusion and worry, and maybe just a bit of curiosity

"I should start from the beginning." I said finally, and he nodded his head as I pushed away from the counter, trailing into the main room and circling the small table in the middle of it. I thought about sitting, but my legs were too restless. So instead I just stood there next to the table and ran a hand through some of my hair.

Kurama didn't sit either as he followed me, just stood near the mouth of the hallway to the room as if he were waiting for a trap to be sprung. I glanced at the couch, feeling a bit bad as it hardly ever got used.

"I don't know how to tell you this." I said quietly. "I don't know how it will go, or if you'll…" I trailed off, biting my lip as I glanced up at him. When had one of my greatest fears become him hating me? Kurama met my eyes and after a moment of silence he entered the room further, and finally came to stand in front of me. When his hand raised and touched my face, skimming the right side of it I couldn't help the shocked expression that flashed upon it.

"Nothing in this world, nothing you could ever tell me could make me hate you." He stated calmly, his hand moved to sweep back my hair, running his fingers tough it. "Just start talking."

I nodded my head slowly, finally able to get my head on straight with his words. It was silly that I had needed his reassurance, but I had. Now all that was left, was to do just as he said: start talking. That meant digging deep and pulling out memories I had buried, but with his hand there, in my hair, it wasn't as painful to speak of them as I had thought it would be.

"Not everything I said about my life was a lie, some of it couldn't really be faked. My heritage for one thing." I saw Kurama nod slightly as he continued to run a hand over my stark blond hair that cover pale skin. "My dad's family is from a long line of Danish people, they moved to America from Norway when he was eight I think. My mom is Japanese; she grew up in Kyoto and spent a good portion of her life there. They met because my dad is one of the CEOs of a weapons defense company on the east coast and he was in Japan doing a seminar. My mom was one of the Police officers assigned to keep him safe from protesters. As you can probably figure out they hit it off, and after a year or so she moved to America with my father, and eventual had me and then my brother."

I shifted slightly my eyes meeting green ones again as Kurama dropped his hand from my hair. My next words were harder, because I hadn't wanted to ever speak them again, let alone tell any one. It had been my biggest secret, the one that kept my family safe, or so I thought. The redhead tilted his head slightly perhaps seeing something on my face that told him I was struggling.

"It's alright Izumi." Again, that word stung when it shouldn't have. I wondered if it was because he stilled called me that, even when he knew it was my real name. Though, it was what I wanted my name to be now, it was what I had thought my name was in this life. But now I had to tell him her name, the name I had buried.

"My… my parents named me April Izumi Kale, I was born in Hartford, Connecticut on June 15th." The words tasted bitter on my tongue and looked away from Kurama's sharp gaze when he frowned. What did he think of me, when I had said that in such a lifeless tone, speaking as if I was dead still.

But wasn't I? Who I had been, was dead, I knew that.

"April? Like the month in English?" His voice sounded confused and a bit interested, but it held no malice like I had thought it might.

"Yeah… Americans use a lot of them for names, all female though. April, June, May, December… " Absently I rubbed my arm thinking back. "When I was little people use to tease me about it, like all kids do." Glancing up at him I saw his face still held a bit of confusion and I raised an eyebrow at him. "What? Don't like it?"

He shook his head, frowning at me. "No. It just… it doesn't suit you." He muttered looking over me as if he were trying to picture me being called by that name. I let out a small laugh, though I found little humor in it.

"No, I guess it wouldn't, not now. It always seemed like such a fragile name, almost delicate. Back then though, before I died, I think it did fit me, at least well enough. I had always liked my name. Back then things were… different."

"Tell me then." Kurama asked, curiosity now whole heartily in his voice. Whatever resentment he might have had for me keeping my real name from him, was over shadowed by his need to know. How could I not tell him the rest now? I nodded my head again before slowly wondering over to the table where I sat on it, instead of the couch. Kurama didn't follow, just turned to face me as I thought and then spoke.

"After me, Damien was born five years later. We grew up close, unlike many siblings; I always had this protective nature towards him. When I turned six, my mother, who had become a high-ranking officer by then, enrolled me in marshal arts, as she would my brother later on. She was always bound and determined to make sure her children knew how to protect them selves, she just didn't know how much that would come in handy later on in my life. I don't think anyone could have. "

"She sounds like an amazing women." Kurama commented as I paused. I smiled looking at him, and couldn't help but agree.

"All mothers are amazing."

"I hadn't thought that you' had training before this life, your skills in it have always been…" He trailed off and I snorted.

"Poor? Yeah I know. I mean I'm not horrible at it, but predicting other people's movements isn't my strong point. Before I died, I made it to Orange Belt though, and by then I had really started becoming proficient in my music, so I guess it took a back seat."

"They must have been proud of you." He commented and I looked away, fidgeting with the hem of my sweater.

"They were." I agreed. "When I was sixteen, a talent scout saw me perform and approached me. He said I was good enough I could probably get into any professional orchestra I wanted if I kept it up. He said I could get a scholarship to college as well, if I wanted that." I sighed; knowing I couldn't keep meandering on my past life much longer, not when I had already reached the point of tell him all of this. I just didn't want to. "My father made a lot of money in his work, so, when I told them about the news, he decided to take the family with him to New York City where he was to attended a business party. That was just one day though, so he figured we'd spend a week there and enjoy the sites. That's where… everything went wrong."

The heard footsteps and then glanced to the side as Kurama sat down next to me. He didn't say anything, but I had a feeling he was trying to comfort me in someway without having to blatantly do it. He knew I didn't want pity, and for that I was thankful.

I just hopped my table could hold the both of us…

"It was three days in to the vacation." I started off. "My parents were at the party so that left me and my brother, who was eleven at the time, to fend for our selves. My parents trusted me, so we had some money and we planned to go to Central Park. There are a bunch of monuments there and I thought it would be good for Damien to see them. We…. We never got there." I paused taking in a breath and closing my eyes as the memory flashed across the darkness of my eyelids like a movie. I had to push down the emotions of that day, locking them behind a door so that I could speak without becoming too upset. "Do you remember hearing about a terrorist attack 6 years ago in America? I'm not sure if it would be broadcasted here or not…"

"I believe I remember teachers talking about it in the halls. They were hushed but fox's do have good hearing." He muttered before seeming to understand my question more then he had at first. "You were there?"

"Yeah." I replied opening my eyes again. "I was right in the middle of it, and so was my brother." I shifted, one of my hands moving and touching his where they laid across his lap, folded. His hands were quick to unfold, and catch my cold one in his, stilling the tremors that had found their way out even if I had tried to stop them. "We were on the subway train, it was pretty crowded, though not many had to stand. I remember looking at the list of stops, trying to figure out which one we needed, when there was a loud bang and a lot of shouting." Damien had grabbed at my hand, squeezing so hard my figures had turned red; I still remembered that grip, so strong for someone so young. "It wasn't till an older man came stumbling into our cart bleeding, that we understood what was going on.

The man had resisted when the men who had taken over the train found a gun on him. I don't understand why they never came for him, but they didn't. I guess they figured it wasn't important. As it turned out, there was an off duty police officer in our cart, he took charge instantly, getting a women to look after the wounded man. There were several children one board, not just my brother and I, and the officer told the remaining women to taken them to the back of the train. We were pretty close to the front.

I don't know why I did it. I guess I just saw that the officer was alone, no one else had stood up to help, and I couldn't just stand by. I refused to go to the back, telling them I had a brother to protect, and that I had training. He refused at first, stating that I was to young, and it was too dangerous, but I didn't let up. I had to protect my brother and at the time, I thought that meant going after the bad guys. I look back on it now and think about how stupid I was, I hadn't known anything."

"You were brave." Kurama said quietly. "Even back then, you put yourself below others to make sure they were safe." He met my eyes, understanding clear in them as his hands tightened around mine. I shook my head.

"It was still stupid. Either way, the officer relented, I'm not sure why, maybe he realized he couldn't do it alone. I had to pry my brother off of me, he'd been crying and still was then one of the women took him with her towards the back.

We headed forward after that, so much of those moments were a blur of surreal scenes. There were two in the cart before the conductor's and we paused there to listen, only to hear that they were planning to use explosives, or at least that's what it had sounded like.

We didn't have time to plan, only to act, and some how I got my frozen legs to move as the officer ran, taking on the two of them so that I could run to the front and stop the train. I was fast, and I got across the car with little trouble…" I had been terrified as bullets and shouting rang through the air like a movie, I still wonder how I had been able to do that. The only thing I had ever come up with was that I had just been too focused on Damian to think about anything else. " When I got to the control room, I found out there was one more man there, making sure the train kept going. The person in change of the train was dead on the ground… there was a lot of blood. I remember staring at it unseeing. I couldn't really… come to terms with it at the time."

"The problem with our world today is that we see so much horror in movie and games that we forget that it does happen in life." Kurama muttered running his hand over mine again. I tried not to think about how he called the Human World his world as well. It still bothered me that he pushed away who he was when he didn't need to. Not really.

"Perhaps." I agreed quietly. "Either way, I don't think I was truly thinking after that. The man was big, much bigger then I, but for the moment he didn't seem to see me there as he was turned the other way, pushing the corps to the side as if it were trash. I found what I needed to quickly and then acted, not giving myself time to think about the danger. I remember running the few feet needed and basically slamming into the lever that stuck out of the ground. The man had turned at the sound but he wasn't quick enough to stop me from pulling the lever down with my weight."

I remembered the shadows that had looked so striking and dangerous around the man. I remember his eyes, the way they had burned like fire-licked coals, and he had looked like the devil himself, the shadows nothing more then his minions of Hell. I remembered the keening screech of the wheels as they stopped turning, spitting out sparks as the brakes bit into them. There had been pain in my hands, I had gripped the lever so hard, and hadn't ever let go of it, not while I was alive.

"…Izumi?" Kurama's voice was hesitant, as if he wasn't sure he should call me that, but it brought me back all the same. I shook my head, and then sighed, bowing it slightly as I continued.

"The subway train stopped and the doors opened, I could hear the people as they went screaming from it. My hands had stayed clamped the lever and I had felt the joy of victor for only a moment, and then it was gone. The man…I remember wondering if he was a demon, a devil of some sorts, he had given me a glare so hot with malice I was sure I was dead right then and there. He had snarled at me, words I can't remember, but it hadn't sounded human and then he wasn't human anymore, his skin ripping apart…"

"He was a demon then?" Kurama asked, though his only reply was a slow nod of my head. "Were they all?"

"No." I gave a small sigh. "The other two were humans, people he had convinced some how to help him." I grasped his lower hand in mine tighter as I thought about those few minutes at the end of my life. I remembered wondering if he had been a werewolf, and then there had been such a bright light. "That's when I met Saitō the very first time." I said off hand, startling the redhead. "Apparently Koenma had been sending in the SDF, but for some reason he couldn't send them through a portal when the target was moving. Once I had stopped it, the portal opened and Saitō and a few others came though, appearing out of no where." I had thought they were angels, sent to save me. Maybe they had been, maybe they were. The SDF were beings that in many ways still confused me. "When the… thing saw them, I guess he realized he was in trouble, and did the only thing he could…"

It played out in my head like a movie again, and I saw the massive clawed hand of the demon glow yellow, getting brighter and bright until I had to look away. My eyes had found the SDF then, and had locked with Saitō's for nothing more then a heartbeat. In that moment – he told me much later – he had been horrified to find a young girl there, clutching at the break lever. He had reacted then, trying to reach out to save me but as everything was that day, he was too late.

Taking in a deep breath I raised my head too look at Kurama and felt as if my next words weight a ton each, crushing whatever reply he might have ever had. "The demon used an energy attack of some sort, and he through it right at the engine of the car we were all in. There was a bright light, and heat… and then I was floating above the wreckage of a crumbled front car." It had still been on fire, the metal warped and broken into pieces, and shrapnel everywhere. I was standing in the middle of the ruin, feet from where I hade been moments ago and wondering what was going on. "It had taken me finding my own remains, or at least part of them for it to sink in.

My body had been ripped and burned to sheds, but somehow one of my hands had still been clutching that damned break."

My apartment was silent again, and I might have thought Kurama were gone if I wasn't staring at him and his hands weren't gripping one of mine. His gaze had shifted from mine, clouded in troubled thoughts. No one ever expect to hear that kind of story, it almost sounded unreal. I wanted to wait for him to really think it though, but I found myself moving on with my story, unable to not finish it as quickly as possible.

"They called me a hero you know. I was on the news for weeks along with the cop that died along with me. I guess he died in the explosion too, when he came to find me. My parents were given my metal, the government gave me the 'Award of Heroism'." I smiled bitterly, remembering how my mother had tried to through it back at the military outfit that had given it to her. She hadn't wanted a metal; she had wanted her daughter back. "I guess if you die for something, saving people is the best way. Because of my actions my brother is still alive and well, or at least that is what Koenma told me last time I asked. Except now some how he's here, caught up in my world, even though I left him and everyone I knew on their own."

Finally, Kurama moved again and he let go with one hand reaching out to touch my face, his fingers skimming over my cheek. "Why would you leave them behind?" He whispered, as if dazed. I gave him a watery smile, knowing he wasn't thinking very straight, either that or he had figured it out and was hoping for a different answer.

"No, I couldn't." I pulled away from him then, slipping my hands free as I stood up once more, a sudden itch in my mind that made me restless and unnerved. I didn't want to talk about this any more. But I had to; I had to finish so he under stood. Turning to look at the redhead he sat on my couch as if waiting for me to continue. I bit my lip, running a hand over my hair, slowly knotting the fingers there. "There was nothing for me to return to Kurama." My hands pulling at my hair, using the pain to deter the grief I felt.

"You aren't making any sense Izumi."

"Honestly?" I sighed, frustrated that I had to say it so plainly. The irony that he had not understood, when he was suppose to be so intelligent was not lost on me. "I told you once Yusuke was lucky. He died by getting hit by a car – his body stayed perfectly in tack; they could say his coming back to life was a miracle, but mine? No. Impossible. My body was ripped into pieces Kurama. The explosion and the shrapnel from the car and the flames… my own arm was blow off." I stopped, taking in a sharp breath through my nose, pulling my hands loose again to rub at the same arm for a moment. "You can't say it's a miracle, if you daughter suddenly comes back to life and her body is suddenly whole again. There was no possible way for me to every come back to life, not for them, not from anyone that had even known me."

I had been so jealous when I had seen how easily Yusuke had gotten his life back. I had hated him for it, when he'd done nothing in his life to truly have need of it back. Why couldn't that have been me as well, I had though to myself.

"Then how are you here?"

His question was expected, even if he hadn't been the curious fox I knew him to be. I couldn't look him the eyes as I spoke; I just stared down at the floor, tracing the wood grain patterns.

"Koenma gave me a choice. Stay dead, or come back to life and help stop events like my death from happening. The only condition was that I could never have any interaction with anyone from my old life. My body, or what they could fine of it was already nothing but ash and buried. Koenma used his powers to make a perfect copy of what those ashes had been. Well almost perfect…"

"Almost perfect?"

I rubbed my arm a bit thinking back to that day. "He said it was because my new body wasn't created naturally. He had the power to make it, just like how we can make two animals breed together, but at the same time nature take something away." I snorted a bit, always feeling a bit of irony at my words. "I'm like a mule, completely infernal. That part of me just doesn't work. " I looked up at him, his shocked face unmasked and as fragile as my open heart. "The reason I'm telling you all of this, is not only because you need to know, but because it's why my brother shouldn't have been on that tape." He already knew I had made a deal with Koenma to keep them safe, and now he knew why I had never talked about them. But he didn't know the severity, what my own sacrifice had truly caused. "The reason this event should be impossible Kurama, is because by coming back to life I gave up ever having family. The one I belonged to was support to continue to believe I died and I will never be able to have one. That was the price I paid in order to live and keep my family safe, and it doesn't seem possible for it to crumble so easily."

"I see…" His voice was firm, calm and callused like normal, but I could hear the small catch in it as he struggled to digest everything. "I never knew Koenma had such a power. I suppose I'm unsure of if it is a gift or a punishment." The creaking of my table told me he stood up and the soft footsteps traveled to me before a hand gently ran over my skull, undoing the clip in my hair that was probably only half in use after all my pulling. The long bags fell down in front of my eyes and he wept them back. "To think you were able to keep this from me so long. I'm so sorry…" he trailed off again unsure and I bit my lip before meeting his gaze.

"Izumi." I muttered. "I…She is still there, somewhere inside of my soul, but I haven't been April in a very long time. Her ghost, her memories, I cling to them yes but… I'm Izumi to everyone here, to you. It's who I want to me for you. I do not think you would have liked April much…"

"You are not that different." Kurama muttered, continuing to comb back my bags with a hand. "Everything that you are is because of who you were. Just from this story, I see piece of who you were, that have made you into who you are now." "You are You, Izumi." He let that statement hang for a moment, long enough for me to nod my head finally in understanding. If I had been up to it, I might have told him much the same, that him being a demon was a part of him, but right now, I wasn't sure I had the will required for such a debate. "For what it is worth, your brother seems well for his circumstance. You cannot simply follow this demons terms."

I shook my head, he didn't understand. This wasn't the Dark Torment with his mother being stalked by a demon. This was my brother and I had a feeling this demon had something against me that was personal; I had caused him pain in one-way or another. He would do much the same to me; cause the same pain to my brother if I did what Kurama said. "I have to find him Kurama. I don't know how, but when that demon makes his demand I will have to meet it." I said quietly, feeling defeated before things had even begun. I was in Check; all that was left was one last move. It was the way his hand froze and stiffened that had me searching his face once more.

His eyes were unguarded in that moment and I'm half stunned to see fear and anger in their forest colored depts. A thin ring of gold is there, more vivid then normal as he catches my meaning. "You will not through your life away. There are other ways to go about this."

"We won't have the time for that, you know that, and I'm not that's stupid, I'll figured something out. I just can't let him die, not because of me. Not after everything he's already gone through." I said quickly, trying to plead with him to understand even as I move his hand from my head to press it to my cheek. "Kurama He's my brother. It's my fault he's in this mess, I have to fix it. I have to. He needs me."

"I need you!" It came out in a snarl, and I find myself frozen in place, his hand had turned harder on my face, his gaze almost more animal then man. I find myself at a loss of words as he takes in a slow, deep breath as if to calm himself, but his green eyes still blaze, the slight ring of gold almost burning away the other color as if it were fire on fresh land. I'm unable to call up any arguments, because I've never seen him like this. His calm demeanor has shattered with his anger and fear and his own sudden words. His hand slowly moves, leaving mine to drop like dead weight to my side and starts threading his into my hair Before I can register was is happened he is pulling my head forward to touch my forehead to his. "I need you." He breathed this time, as if dragging the words from his very soul. "Don't take yourself from me."

It is the ways he says the words that make the mood in the room change. I can't get my mind to work straight even if I know my brother should be the first and last priority right now, but I can't. Because he'd never said such a thing to me, not in those words, not in that way. He needed me, and I couldn't deny the fact that I had always needed him. Perhaps even more so now when my world seems to unsteady, I needed something firm to hold on to. I swallow, wings flapping in my gut at the sudden heat I can feel on his skin, on my skin. It is a feeling I have had many times before, but this time, I can't seem to find reason to ignore it.

"As if I could."

The words are hardly out before he has my mouth. His lips burn against mine and I have no time or thoughts as he slams me back onto the wall a few feet behind me and places his free hand on it near my shoulder. I let myself go then, realizing I can't wallow when all I need is him and his comfort. My hands are everywhere, in his hair, gliding over his neck, pulling at the caller of his shirt. My mouth opens to his and I am lost in the flames and I forget how I got his shirt open, but it is suddenly gone. He pulls away slightly lips on my throat.

"Izumi…" He growls out my name and I gasp, my lungs all but useless. I know he is waiting for me to tell him to stop. His gaze is still heated and his hands are still under the lip of my shirt. I smiled and pushed him backwards, so I can get out from the wall. I can't stop this any more, not after everything, there's nothing in-between us now that he had accepted me for who I really am. I know he has, he doesn't even have to say it. When I kissed him again, I let go of everything else but him, letting it all melt in to the background if only for a little while, knowing for now it was all I could do. When I pull back slight again my words are clipped on breathless lungs.

"Bedroom. Now."

There is a look in his eyes, deeper then lust or want. Its something I've never seen before, and suddenly I know he loves me, even if he can't say it. He followed my command with ease then, his hands on my hips, leading me forward; as he lifted me higher and higher towards infinity.


Hey, she cant be perfectly moral all the time, lol.