Chapter Seventeen: Sayonara, Izumi

I still remember the day I realized the world wasn't as cut and dry, as I had once believed. That at the end of the day good and evil, heroes and villains were worlds easily changed to the other depending on the point of view one sits at.

I remember how my views on demons had changed through Kuronue, how I had hated him at first, then I simply tried to ignore him, then, when my world had suddenly changed as I had realized the truth…I gave him the chance he deserved and our entire dynamic had changed.

He had asked me then, why I was giving him another chance after all the bad blood and words we had hissed at one another. I had grinned like a fool and answered: "Well, third times the charm, right?"

From that moment on we had changed; he was my extra pair of eyes and ears on the battlefield, a voice to call out things I missed. He had saved my life far too many times to count, and even though I tried to improve so he wouldn't have to, I often fell short.

It seemed no matter how hard I tried; human error would always rear its head at an inopportune time.

It was a strange thing really. The pain that came was almost numbing, as if a light shove had turned into a knife stab. But it wasn't a knife. I stumbled forward, but only for a moment as an arm came up and caged my shoulders, jerking me back upright. I hit something hard, solid, and warm. A strangled gasp mingled with a scream as I ignored the arm and the warmth and looked down, almost laughing at the irony. Jutting from the lower right side of my abdomen was the tip of my own weapon. The chain pooled behind me, but the weapon didn't sag; it was being held up by something, a hand maybe? Maybe the person holding me up upright now?

"Did you really think it was that easy?" A voice—his voice. The demon I thought had just died. "You should do your homework Izumi, I gave you plenty of opportunities to get my name, but you didn't care to do that did you? Walking in blind, I thought Koenma trained you better, or was it Enma's fault? No matter."

I gasped, the blade sliding through even more as he pushed. Kurama was frozen as I looked to him. His hand clutching a rose as if he'd been about to attack, but had stopped suddenly. He must have realized he had no way to get to me without hurting me along with the demon. He probably knew if he made one wrong move the demon could kill me, but he seemed surprised to see him there, just like I had been. Though, he said he hadn't seen the body, why was that, I wondered. Kuronue growled, trying to help keep my focused as my brain became fuzzy.

How had he even gotten there? How had he gotten to my scythe and to me with no one seeing it till a moment before?

What was going on?

"Who are you then?" I said quietly. "Go ahead and tell me."

The nameless demon laughed, his chest vibrating into me and causing more pain. "You already know who I am Izumi, and trust me our friend Kuro paid dearly for that."

Slowly, my mind worked backwards, the name sounding like someone I should have known. Kuro. Kuro. That was right; I had gotten information from a demon named Kuro about the demon rebellion going on.

He'd told me…everything…their locations, their plans, or at least the ones he had known. He told me their leader's name and…

I froze up; the final dot connecting at the last moment as I remember the lipless demon's words.

"J-Jiro," he sputtered, and I put my hand back down. "His name is Jiro; he's an A class illusion demon."

Illusion demon…the man behind me was a high classed Illusion demon.

"Nothing I saw was real…" I thought bitterly. None of us had seen what we had thought. Kuronue was silently burning holes into the demon's skull, furious at the fact of being tricked. I had no idea how he could see the demon – Jiro – but I knew he was doing it.

"We walked right into it. Who knows how long we were under his spell. Damn it! I should have seen it, I should have…" As he spoke his voice seemed to weaken, get further away as if he were in a tunnel.

It all made sense now. Why the demons had attacked the ranch, why some random demon had gotten through the gaps in the border and gotten my brother. The leader of the group I was hunting was also the brother of Umiko, the demon I had killed two years ago in this very park. Everything that had been happening – my master's death, my brother kidnapping, and the havoc in demon world – was my fault, because I had killed the only family he had.

"Figure it out did you?" he hissed, and then yanked my blade out. The scream that flew from my mouth didn't sound like me. The pain laced through me, icy cold and red hot at the same time, mixing together into something I had never felt. The sound unfroze Kurama and in seconds I was alone, Jiro having to get away from the rose whip that cracked past me, inches from my head. In one last failed effort I pivoted, swiping out at the demon with claws, but met nothing but air. I knew I should have been looking for the demon but I couldn't seem to get my body to move, as if my joins had suddenly rusted together. Each second passed like a decade of time and yet, everything was so slow, so unfocused.

Somewhere behind me I could hear Kuwabara yelling my name, my brother feet from him still lost in dreams. I wasn't sure who I was in that moment, Izumi, or April? It hardly mattered. I swallowed, my mind reeling at the thought of my brother seeing this. I was glad he wasn't.

I looked down again, my body hunched over, aware that only moments had passed. I could feel my hold on Kuronue's energy slipping, saw my black hair returning to its normal golden hue. I saw the strands float there for a moment in the air and then they rose up; and I was falling, the flames of pain dragging me down.

Footsteps.

I saw my knees hit the earth but the rest of me hit something hard and warm. I hadn't realized I had closed my eyes as I felt arms wrap around my shoulders. I opened them slowly and was met with a panicked green gaze. How had he made it across the park so fast? Oh right, he had attacked Jiro…Where was that demon now, I wondered?

"Kur…Kurama." My voice was a whisper and I hated it. I thought it would be pain that stopped my voice, but the pain had all but gone, a ghostly numbness taking its place.

A hand ran over my hair.

"I'm here." His voice was even, but then again, it always was. Slowly, He lowered me to the ground and lifted a free hand to examine my wound, ignoring the blood that had soaked my now normal clothes. Every touch, ever breath, should have hurt, but I felt nothing, only that I was now sitting on the ground, my back against his side where he knelt, my head on the inside of his shoulder. Shock, my mind told me; it was shock. Yet, it didn't feel like shock, well it half did. My arms were cold and my head was hazy but something was wrong, as if something was missing.

Then I realized I didn't really feel Kurama's hand on my wound.

My mind paused and in that moment I tried to calm the panic that bubbled up. I couldn't seem to grasp at it at first, what was happening. My mind refused to do so. It was all so stupid and final sounding, so ironic and almost fitting. After all, what had I done to kill the demon, or at least thought I had done? I'd severed his spine, cutting it along with the cord clear in half. Jiro seemed to have simply done a messier job.

"Izumi…" Kuronue's voice was but a whisper, one I couldn't find the will to answer.

I refocused, blinking slightly, feeling dazed and shocked. I tried to calm myself, concentrating on the motion of Kurama's left hand as it stroked my tangled hair. It didn't work, and so the words that suddenly consumed my mind still spilled from my mouth along with a ragged shudder that tasted like blood.

"I…I can't feel my legs."

Kurama's hands froze, I watched as his other hand stopped probing my wound for any hope. Slowly, as if his own appendage weighted a ton, he pulled his hand away, the fingers curling inward, and the one that had stopped petting my head, restarted. I heard him take in two long breaths through his mouth, and a shudder racked him, shaking me, and I cringed. Another breath, and he stilled, his free arm wrapping around my chest and pulling me more firmly to him, losing whatever stance he'd had to defend in a moment.

"It won't last long." His words were a promise, a dark, cruel one, but still a promise. I could hear the pain in the words, even as he tried to hide it. If he had given up then…then there was really nothing he could do…nothing anyone could do. I closed my eyes and nodded slightly. I felt so weak then, drained, as if I had been running for far too long and I would fall asleep in moments if I let myself. I was cold too, I registered, but oddly enough, I wasn't afraid.

This was nothing new.

"It's over then." I was dying…again. I didn't receive an answer, and after a moment I realized my connection with Kuronue must have broken when the last of my spirit energy left me. All that was left was life energy now, and there wasn't much. It was all draining away with the red sticky stuff that was staining my clothes and Kurama's as well. My mind was silent, it was just me.

Just me…

I took a moment to bask in the irony that it was taking my death to truly have my mind back to me. Opening my eyes again, I found my brother's sleeping form across the way. Had it been so foolish to think I could be his hero one last time? In those moments I wasn't sure I could ever really be April again, no matter how much I wanted to be, if only for the night, for my brother. I hadn't been her for a very long time. Yet, to him, to my little brother, April was all I had ever been.

I lifted a hand and touched Kurama's that lay at my ribs.

"He can't…remember this." If anyone could understand my reasons it was Kurama. He'd had to do it once before after all, with Maya.

His hand moved and grabbed mine tightly. "He won't." His words dragged from him, and seemed to be left hanging as if there was more, but nothing came. It was too much, even for him, even for the great King of Thieves.

I smiled slightly and tried to look up at his face, but I couldn't get myself to move anymore, all I could manage was to squeeze his hand, feeble as it was. "Thank you…" I racked my brain, scolding myself. What kind of good-bye was that? I needed to tell him I love him, I needed to tell him it wasn't his fault, that I was sorry.

I needed…

Light exploded in front of my eyes, jarring me, throwing me off balance. I stumbled.

I stumbled?

I rubbed at my eyes, clearing my vision and looking around. At first all I saw was stars and treetops everywhere I looked and then, my eyes fell downward and I paused.

I wasn't looking at the ground, at least not very closely. I was in the air, and below me, Kurama cradled a body – my body – his clothes half soaked in blood. My blood, my mind reminded me. He was still and frozen just like my body, his hand unmoving in my hair.

Feet away Kuwabara stood looking shell shocked and guilt ridden as he glanced back to make sure Damien was still asleep. I had never seen the goofy guy look so lost. "Kurama? Buddy, I know it…Are you alright?" his words, though kind, meant nothing close to what was needed. Words wouldn't help, but that was all he had..

Kuwabara's words seemed to bring the statue of the redhead back to life, and slowly he raised his head just enough to look over my body. I watch in horror, as something slipped out his cheeks, glittering slightly in the dull cold light. Water splashed on my body's cheek, a small drop forming and running down the side, leaving a trail behind it. There were only three, but it was a number I had never seen coming.

He was crying.

I never, in my wildest thoughts ever consider such a thing. He was Kurama after all; he had been called 'the cold-hearted king' in his past. I hadn't thought it was possible…

What had he said to me that night? The night I had come home, shell shocked from the ranch? That for those of us who have seen so much and felt so much pain, that it would take something greater than anything we had felt to make tears form in our eyes.

"No." No emotion, nothing, just cold and calm, like ice and tinged with a anger so bright it nearly sent shudders down my spine.

The carrot top paused and stared, unable to really form words at that moment as Kurama slowly lifted my body from his and laid it on the ground. My eyes – glassy and glazed over – stared up into the night with no light left in them.

It took seeing my own eyes to really get what had happened, was happening. I was dead, I was a ghost, and even though I knew how it would go, and it wasn't my first time here my mind still felt the shock.

I was dead.

Again.

I watched Kurama, still stone faced, as he shifted to a crouch and slowly, using one hand, slid my body's eyelids shut.

I remember the morning have we bounded even closer, the night he'd found out everything. I'd asked him what he saw in the future but things had become too real again before he could answer, and then life had gone on, but now, now I knew. His tears were more than enough.

It had been me.

"Finally figured it out did you?"

Jerking around I blinked startled at the figure that stood, floating in front of me. It was rather odd, seeing him look solid.

"Kuronue…"

The bat demon simply smiled slightly tilting his head. He glanced behind me and down, over to his old partner, before looking back at me and shuffling over.

"Forgot did you? When you died, the contract I had with Spirit World ended, my soul is free now. I won't be bound to that pendant much longer, as soon as someone comes and picks us up…" he shrugged his shoulders and looked up at the night sky. "It is odd… not knowing what you are thinking, well, to a point I suppose I do, I know you well enough, but you know what I mean."

I did.

Even now my old friend was trying to distract me from my turmoil, but this time, my soul ached too much.

"It is weird." I agreed anyway.

It was low laugh, unrefined and almost menacing that got my attention again and I saw Kurama's head shoot up in the direct my eyes were drawn too. Standing close to where his dead body, the illusion I had killed, had laid, Jiro stood, his scaly tail swishing back and forth. "Well now, that was, almost sickening," he mused; a clawed hand brushed back dark blue hair. "She gave up so easily too, well so did you, didn't you Kurama? You might have been able to stop the bleeding you know."

He might have, I agreed, but I had a feeling the moment I had mentioned my legs the redhead had let that go. Even if I had lived, he knew that I wouldn't have wanted to be paralyzed for the rest of my life.

"Then again…perhaps not, your power levels are nearly painfully low. I guess what I heard was true," Jiro continued, eyes looking about, catching Kuwabara's harden gaze and then sliding over Damien's still form. Then, oddly enough he looked upwards towards me, though I knew I was invisible to all, except maybe Kuwabara. "I know you're watching, Izumi; ghosts don't have much of a choice but he see what happens right after they die. So, I'm going to let you in on a secret." He flexed his claws, a smirk stretching his lips. "I lied. Your death hardly is that satisfying, so, I'm going to make you watch as I kill that darling brother of yours. You'll be helpless to stop it…just as I was."

The snarled that ripped through his last words sent spikes through my spine and made both men stiffen, Kuwabara taking a step to put himself directly in front of my brother. My hands clenched and I felt like screaming. Kuwabara had said he would make sure my brother got home, and now, with my death, he was even more determined to make it so. Could he handle an A class on his own though? I knew he was strong, but he hadn't had to fight anything powerful in years.

Was I going to have to watch him die as well?

…What about Kurama?

"That fool doesn't know what he's done," Kuronue mused, calm and cool as always. I would have turned to give him a confused look if not for the sudden, violent torrent of demonic energy that almost knocked me right off my feet. My head snapped around, finding Kurama in an instant, and I took a step back at what I saw. His entire body was lined in a silver glow so cold it put the streetlights to shame. Energy curled around him and the icy glare that had morphed his face made Jiro pause in his words.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that." With those words, I truly realized just what Kuronue had meant. No matter how much Kurama had valued the peace he'd found here, no matter how much he wished to bury who he had been, anger and blood thirst, the need for revenge and justice had simply just won over. That statement was only made clearer as the redhead's form flickered and silver and gold replaced red and green over and over in an internal strife. In an instant, Youko Kurama stood looming by my corpse, demonic energy crackling around him like wispy storm clouds.

Jiro was doomed.

Said demon took a step back and his face paled slightly. "I thought you gave up your demon form!" When he reserved no answer other than a chilling glare he scowled. "Fine, no matter. You won't stop me; no one can, not when you can't see through my power." That certainly didn't stop the sudden wave of deadly vines that engulfed him in seconds only for his form to flicker away and for him to reappear elsewhere. "It will take more than that."

Their battled continued, Kurama barely moving as all manner of plants formed and attacked Jiro, who would seemed to easily evade them, at least as first. I caught sight of blood on his face and on his arm a few minutes later, but he was still moving, and Kurama seemed more agitated by the moment, street lamps bending and walk ways cracking.

"He's creating a mess," Kuronue muttered walking up next to me. "He's going to attract a lot of attention soon if he doesn't come back to his senses." He was right, this wasn't demon world, a place where monstrous battles took place on a normal basis. Humans were curious and with all the noise being made it was only a matter of time.

He could be found out and everything Kurama loved and held dear could be ripped away from him. Koenma would have no choice; he'd have to banish him to demon world.

"There's nothing we can do…" I muttered helpless to a fault. I had long forgotten such a feeling. I hated it.

"Not quite-well, for you yes, but for me? I do have my ways," Kuronue mused and I turned my startled gaze to him. The bat demon smirked, laying a hand on my shoulder. His touch was warm and solid, nothing I had ever thought I would feel. Now that we were both spirits, the boundaries between us had shattered. He looked ready to laugh at my expression, "Come now Izumi, you should know me better, I always have a plan, and I've had one for this very moment for a long, long time."

"What are you talking about?" I scowled and the bat demon tilted his head, his stupid hat shading his eyes.

"…do you remember a few months ago, when we spent the day apart, and you ran to Kurama's?" he questioned, and I blinked remember that day. I'd been so overwhelmed by the sudden shock of the time that had passed so quickly while I had been gone, I'd run to Kurama's house in a fit of fear and devastation. I'd fallen asleep and then…I'd dreamed about one of Kuronue's memories.

The hand on my shoulder yanked me to the side gently and I'm suddenly wrapped in Kuronue's arms, my forehead bumping against his collarbone. I'd forgotten how much taller he was then me. I blinked looking up and he smirked at me, but something in his eyes told a different story, something that made my chest constrict.

"I know you remember, didn't you ever wonder why?" he mused shrugging slightly. "Kurama put my pendent in your hand after you fell asleep; he had wanted to…chat with me after you had revealed everything."

Of course he had.

"What does that have to do with your memory…or any of this?" I grumbled pushing against him slightly, but he didn't let go. It was odd, being able to really touch him. The bat demon sighed and moved, resting his chin on my head and twitched.

"What you saw, that was my memories; in fact, what you saw was us planning to steal that bloody mirror from the Bamboo Temple." He was scowling, I could tell from the way he hissed the words through his teeth. I couldn't blame him; after all, it had been the heist that had brought him to this point in time. "What you heard on the other hand," he continued, "were the words being spoken while you slept. You heard them and your brain simply integrated them."

Well, that did make a bit more sense. Thinking about it, words came rushing back that suddenly held more meaning.

"You don't know her the way I do-"

"You're in love with a ghost Kuronue, which I guess, is ironic."

"What you have done, you have forsaken yourself. What would happen if that loss meant you couldn't protect her, or anyone else?"

"And you could do better?"

"I'm not going to let her die, I promise you that Kurama. She deserves a life without pain, but that is impossible, and so I shall do what I can, when she needs it most."

"I'm not going to let her die."

Something heavy dropped into my gut and I gasped suddenly. No. He couldn't be serious. There wasn't anything he could do, we were both dead.

"You probably think I'm crazy," Kuronue mused, the vibration running through his jaw and into the crown of my head. "But, like always, you give up just a bit too easily sometimes, Izumi." He pulled back and when I met his eyes I saw the warmth in his face he showed only once before. It was the same look he'd given me when he'd told me he loved me, knowing I would only refuse him.

I didn't like the feeling that look gave me. It felt too final.

"Kuronue…wait… I…"

His arms tightened and I suddenly found my own hand clutching at him, knotting himself in to his clothes, terror sweeping through me even though I didn't know why. He dropped his head, his mouth near my ear as he spoke.

"I am sorry Izumi, for this, for keep this from you. I had to, because I knew you'd hate this, but…I don't want to see you dead and to see you and my best friend in so much pain…" He chuckled dryly. "You just need one more chance. Third time's the charm, right, Izumi?"

I couldn't breathe. Gods, what was he planning? We were dead, was this some stupid gag of his? He felt warmer than before; I when I looked to the side, I nearly jumped. His skin was lit in a warm reddish glow, his pendant bright around his neck.

"Please…you can't…" He was crazy and he was rash and jealous, but he was my best friend and I needed him. My hands tore at his clothing in a death grip and I suddenly had to shut my eyes at the pain behind him.

His lips, warm and slightly chapped, brushed my forehead. I could feel the sly smile on them. Everything was so warm, his arms were so comforting and so I forced my eyes back open just in time to see his sapphire blue eyes meet mine.

"Things will be different for you now, but remember Izumi, even if you can't hear me, or feel me, I'll always be here, if only in your memories. You'll keep me alive though that, won't you?"

My chin shuddered and I clenched my teeth together and gave a jerky nod. I couldn't stop him. I didn't even know what he was going to do. He laughed slightly and pulled me as close as he could, his head near mine once more and I thought I would drown in his words.

"Sayonara, Izumi."

Below, a battle raged and around me, everything was warm. My world became nothing but blue, a deep sapphire blue that seemed to shimmer with trickling red dust. There was no pain; there was no laughter or anger. Just the color and the warmth.

Then I was falling and a sharp shattering sound echoed around me like glass, only deeper and thicker and so much more heart stopping.


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-hides from angry readers-