Felicity can't focus. She just sits at her desk clutching her phone. Her calls go straight to voicemail and when she runs the tracking software, she finds the phone turned off. There is something wrong. She can feel it. He is so secretive and when he says he needs to tell her something, she knows. Whatever he has decided to tell her is going to break them up. She just knows this is what he wants to discuss.
Maybe she is overreacting. Maybe it is his sister again. That has to be it. He hasn't mentioned Thea in a few weeks and maybe there is something wrong with her probation. She turns to her computer and pulls up news sites knowing Thea Queen will make headlines. Instead all she finds are articles about the Hood taking out Cyrus Vanch and Laurel Lance being kidnapped. She reads each line of the article and then hacks into the police files, looking for the preliminary reports. Laurel Lance was kidnapped because of her connection to the Hood. Felicity's mind whirls as she reconciles the data.
Sighing she stands and grabs her purse. There is no point staying here. Oliver wants to talk to her at home and she should prepare herself. The elevator ride is so slow as she heads for the parking garage. She doesn't even notice when a few of the security guards rush past her to the elevators. She just keeps walking and thinking about her relationship. She's not ready for it to be over.
The parking garage is creepy and she walks a little faster towards her car. She knows the security guard would walk her but she tries to put on a brave face. She can't be the only woman to request that level of assistance. She's from Vegas and Vegas girls are tough. She smiles at the thought of her mother running through the garage in her six inch heels and short skirts.
She unlocks her car and slips into the driver's seat, adjusting the mirror and turning the car on. She turns to look behind her and freezes. The Hood is in her back seat. She looks around wildly and turns back to him. He says nothing. She reaches back and touches his chest, her hand coming away covered in blood.
"Something tells me blood stains are not covered under my lease." She groans and backs the car out. At the edge of the parking garage she pauses. Left will take her to the hospital but right...right will take her somewhere else. She looks back at the Hood slumped in her back seat and the decision is made. She turns right.
The south alleyway is the only place she can guarantee privacy. Getting out she pulls her phone out, connecting to the network. A few keystrokes later and the side door pops open. Glancing back at the car, she hits the lock button hoping no one wanders down the alleyway.
Inside she finds him, the man she was looking for. John Diggle jumps up at her face and follows her into the alleyway. She can hear the unasked question but ignores the look. Oliver is bleeding out and she needs Diggle to do whatever he needs to do.
He hauls Oliver to the gurney and wheels him into the room. Before she can think, Diggle is pressing her hand against the wound and telling her to press down.
"I should have taken him to a hospital," she says.
"No Felicity that's why he asked you to bring him here. He knew the police would want to know how and why he got that wound."
"He didn't ask me at all. He was already unconscious."
"We can't take him to the hospital so we'll bring the hospital to him. Luckily he stored his blood."
"Do you know what you're doing?"
"Yeah. I had some medical training in the army. I just hope it's enough."
"I…"
"Felicity listen to me. He'll be fine. He's been through a lot worse than this."
She just does what he commands, watching as he attaches an IV and starts working on the wound. She hands him tools when he asks but other times she just touches Oliver. She touches his hand and lets him know she's there.
Finally after nearly an hour of tension, Diggle declares Oliver is stable for now. She sits down on a nearby stool and just breathes. Diggle is watching her questioningly.
"You did good. You kept your head on."
"Well I always wondered how I'd react to find my boyfriend shot and bleeding in my car...not that I helped because he's my boyfriend. I'd help anyone who was shot and bleeding in my car."
"I would think you would be more surprised."
"Why?"
"So you knew?"
She stands and moves to look at the weaponry. She touches an arrow and sighs.
"I've known since the hospital. Well...that's not true. I've known since he broke into my apartment the first time. I only confirmed it at then."
"You've known this entire time and you haven't said a word?"
"Oliver didn't want me to know so I didn't. I was waiting for him to tell me," she says. "Oliver brought me a bullet-ridden laptop connected to Deadshot, a black arrow connected to the man who shot him twice, and research a company involved in armored car heists. I gave the Blackhawk fob to the Hood knowing he who he was. I would never have given it to him if I wasn't sure he was Oliver."
"How did you know?"
"It was little things. His hands are callused from the bow. I had to look that up. His new wounds match every wound inflicted on the Hood. There are only publicized sightings of the Hood when Oliver is with me. That's you?"
"Yeah." The conversation dies down as she sits down next to Oliver again, watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest. She doesn't know what to say but when Oliver starts reacting violently she jumps.
"What's happening?!"
"Seizure. There's a syringe labeled ativan. Grab it! His heart stopped!"
"I'm calling 911 John."
"No. We'll have to try this." He goes to use the paddles and nothing happens. "Come on. Come on."
"Let me try." She slips over to the machine and starts messing with it. Seconds later Oliver's heartbeat fills the air and they both collapse into their chairs.
"How did you do that?"
"I've been building computers since I was seven. Wires are wires." She takes Oliver's hand in hers again and relaxes. He's still breathing and she can rest easy for awhile.
"Can I ask you one thing about the island?" she asks hesitantly. He looks over at her wearily and she tries to smile at him. "It's just been bothering me."
"Go ahead." he leans down to tie his shoes and she crawls up against his bare back. He leans back against her and sighs. He's scruffier than usual and she loves it. She doesn't like a full beard but this scruff is sexy and she just wants him to kiss her.
"Has being stranded on a deserted island for five years soured you on going to the beach?"
"What?"
"Has being stranded on a deserted island soured you on going to the beach...with me...this summer?"
"Felicity? That's months away."
"I know but we've been getting serious and I don't like to get ahead of myself but I want to go to the beach with you. I've never been."
"You've never been to the beach?"
"Well no. I'm from Vegas. It's all desert and I wasn't really much of a sunlight, beachgoer when I went to M.I.T. I was more of a basement, dark room, night time student."
He doesn't say anything. He just sits there leaning back against her and thinking. She knows it's risky. She's asking him to make plans with her this summer which is at least 3 months away and also to go to a beach.
"Okay," he says finally. "We could make it a weekend. Drive down the coast and visit a beach. We could get away from the city."
"Can you be away that long?" she asks. He looks at her strangely and she can't tell him why she asked. Can the Starling City vigilante even take that much time off. The city was falling apart when he was injured in December.
"For you...anything," he whispers.
"He's going into cardiac arrest again!" Diggle exclaims, jarring her out of her memories. She checks the wires.
"No. The leads came loose."
"It's less stressful when he's jumping off rooftops!"
"That bow has put arrows in quite a few people," she says gesturing.
"Bad People."
"That doesn't bother you? I mean this in a good way but you seem like the kind of guy it would bother."
He tells her about Afghanistan and her time in the military. She listens closely. She's been trying to make her own peace with Oliver's decision to wear a hood and shoot people with arrows. Before now it was easy to keep things separate. Two men. Two identities. She knew they were the same but it was easier to pretend.
"What I'm doing here with Oliver? I feel good again for the first time since I got home."
"And that's worth the collateral damage? He's killed people."
"There are always casualties in a war Felicity. This is a war regardless of what people think. He came back here to save his city. The deaths bother him more than he lets on."
"How do you know?"
"Because he's so worried the blood will rub off on the people he loves."
She doesn't know what she's doing exactly. Oliver Queen is in her bed. He's in her bed and he's naked! She knew they were headed in this direction but for some reason it just never entered her mind he would be here one day. Instead they kept missing each other.
He's calm and quiet for the first time. He's slept in her apartment before on her couch or even her bed a few times when they were both just so exhausted. Most nights he wakes up with nightmares, sliding away from her and pacing to the windows. After each time she gets up and holds him. She never asks about his nightmares but she hears it in his voice. She can feel the sweat on his skin. They terrify him. Her big, strong man is terrified by these demons.
Sometimes he calls out names. Sometimes his sister or his friends. Sometimes it is her name. She doesn't ask but she knows he's watching them be hurt or killed in front of him. She knows it is torture to him and she does what she can. She holds him and she tells him everything is okay. She tells him he's safe.
Tonight he's calm. He's relaxed. He's content and instead it is she who cannot sleep. All she can do is watch over him. All she can do is rest her hand on his chest and look at the scars on his skin. He's covered in brutal scarring and she knows they only tell a small part of his tale. He doesn't talk about them or mention. It broke her heart to see him insecure the first time she saw him shirtless. He looked away from her while she touched him. The memory is sharp in her mind and she shakes it away.
Her room and hallway are in shambles after their night together. There are clothes everywhere, sheets tossed to the floor. Right now they're both bare and it is only his body keeping her warm. Her fingers slide down over his abs and down to his hip bones. She traces the lines there and smiles. She could wake him. She wants to but he needs to sleep.
She lays her head down on his arm and closes her eyes. This is enough. If she only has this, she'll be happy.
She shoots up when she hears Oliver groan. Diggle is not in the room and she moves cautiously to his side. His head is facing away from her and he coughs softly.
"I guess I didn't die. Cool."
She touches him lightly and he turns to face her. He's confused. She can see it in his eyes.
"How did I…?" Felicity steps away from him and heads to the computer. Diggle is back and he'll handle the explanations. Instead she goes back to the computer and continues to work. The fact she hadn't found his lair sooner is a bit of a mystery. His security is abysmal.
"You're okay. We managed to stabilize you," Diggle explains.
"How should I explain this one?"
"Hickey gone wrong?" Diggle jokes. She can feel Oliver's eyes on her but she doesn't respond.
"The police collected a sample of your blood at Queen Consolidated. I just hacked the crime lab and ordered the sample destroyed. Oops. Your system looks like it was from the eighties and not the good part of the eighties."
"Felicity?"
"I'm going to go home now. You're okay and I need to...think." She gets up and leaves, noticing neither man calls after her. Outside she climbs into her car and just stops. Pressing her forehead to the wheel, she thinks. Her mind seems sluggish, like she's been drinking all night. Sighing she starts the car and heads home. First a donut run. It's a donut kind of morning.
"The fact you're good at cooking should be criminal," she groans. Oliver is wearing an apron and stirring spaghetti sauce. She watches him work, marveling at the way he moves around her tiny kitchen. It's almost his space since she doesn't cook. She let him rearrange the cabinets and now it takes her five extra minutes to find anything. It's a small price to pay when he cooks.
"I've always wanted to learn and you're such a great taster," he replies. "Here. Try this."
"Mmm…" she says tasting the sauce. "Amazing."
"Can you be more specific?"
"No. It's great. Is it almost ready?"
"No." He stirs some more before putting the lid on and turning to her. "I was thinking about you and the beach…"
"You don't want to do it? Oh no I pushed too hard.."
"Felicity calm down," he commands. "I actually wanted to ask you something else. It's my birthday in May and I...was wondering if you might want to go camping with me?"
"Camping? Like...nature and dirt...and bugs?"
"I know it's not really your thing but I miss it. The trees and the absolute silence. It was my type of home for a long time and I want to share it with you...what it was like sometimes."
He looks so unsure and she feels it, that slow slide into something more. She's been in love before. She knows what that feels like...or what it did feel like. This is something different, something more.
"I would love to," she hears herself saying. He smiles and leans into kiss her quickly before turning back to the stove. All she can think is the man in front of her...he might be the one.
She doesn't even realize when she starts crying. She's just a wreck. She's sitting in her car in front of her building, eating powdered donuts, and crying. She's broken. This isn't her. Why is she crying?
She finally staggers up the steps and unlocks her door, dropping everything to the floor but the last donut. She looks at the mirror and gasps. There is a stripe of blood across her upper body. It's Oliver's blood. She rips off the shirt and throws it in the trash knowing she'll never wear it again.
She strips down and pulls on her favorite pajamas. The bed is still unmade from the other night when Oliver was there. It feels forever ago. She crawls under the covers and pulls the blankets up hoping she'll fall asleep quickly.
"So what did you and Laurel...or Sara...or the many talk about?" she asks suddenly. They have been walking through the big park by her apartment and it struck her suddenly. They've been talking about all kinds of things and now she wonders. He even listened to her ramble on about Doctor Who for way longer than non-fans should.
"I couldn't tell you," he replies simply.
"What do you mean?"
"I was a terrible person then," he continues. "I didn't care what we talked about and I honestly don't think I could tell you anything they told me. I was selfish and horrible and I just wanted one thing."
"Oh." For some reason that bothers her. What does that say about her that he would rather talk for two hours in the park than sleep with her. Was she bad? Did she do something?
"Now I want it all," he says. "I want to know everything about you. I want normal and serious and everything."
"Oliver…"
"Like this," he whispers. Right there in the middle of the park he stops everything to kiss her. She can hear people going around them, grumbling about the couple in the middle of the path. She doesn't care.
She wakes up hours later and groans. Her head feels like a sledgehammer has been hitting it for hours. She sits up and rubs her eyes, sighing.
"John said you knew." She spins to look at him. He's sitting slumped in the armchair in the corner. He looks exhausted and he's unkempt. He looks like he's been working out for hours but she knows that's not true.
"I've known for months," she replies. She's tired and she doesn't know why. It's been at least eight hours. There should be egg rolls. She needs egg rolls.
"How?"
"Oliver you're not exactly...good at lying. You have terrible cover stories and then you're always just a tiny bit coincidental. You happen to be with me and the news covers a rare appearance of the Hood. The Hood doesn't make those mistakes because you make sure you're not seen. You rush off randomly and then there are reports of the Hood stopping someone."
"Felicity…"
"I'm a hacker Oliver. I've been watching the Hood since you started. I've seen every bit of footage covering the Hood. I also have a hard drive filled with evidence I've collected on my own. I'll destroy it later. Plus there is the most important thing…"
"What is that?"
"I know every inch of your body Oliver," she says gesturing her hand towards him.. "This bullet wound from Deadshot? These arrow wounds from the archer? This new wound from your mother? The vertigo O.D.? The bruises? I know your body Oliver. That alone told me."
"I'm sorry."
"No. I understand why you didn't tell me. What I don't understand is why you were going to break up with me last night?"
"You figured that out too?"
"I'm really, really smart Oliver."
"You are. Last night Laurel got kidnapped by someone who wanted to hurt the Hood. I care about Laurel and I went for her."
"I understand."
"No...you don't. Vanch took someone who is a friend, an old friend. I care a lot about her but she's still just a friend. I can't even begin to imagine if they took someone I love."
"Thea and your Mom have round-the-clock guards. They'll be fine."
"I wasn't talking about them."
"But...oh!" Her mind is racing. She knew she was falling in love with him but she has not really considered the fact he was falling in love with her too. For some reason that entire concept seems ridiculous. He's...and she's…
"I thought about what I would do if he'd taken you and I couldn't even consider it. I need you safe Felicity. I always need you safe and if being close to me makes you a target then I have to say goodbye."
"Idiot," she grumbles.
She stands up and moves in front of him. She's standing there in her bare feet in cupcake pajamas and he's going to listen to her. She's going to make him. She's stared down scarier things in her life than him.
"Now let's talk Mr. Queen. You are not the boss of me and I am the only one who decides whether I need someone's protection. You were going to make this decision without me, without asking me what I wanted and that is not okay. That is never okay. Isn't the whole point of a relationship to get through the hard times, to fight our way through it together and to make decisions together?"
"Felicity?"
"I love you and I want to be with you and I want to join your insane crusade. I want to be by your side through all of this because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Yes! You even beat out M.I.T and that's saying a lot!. You are not going to make decisions without me either! If we're over then we are both going to agree or you are going to have to convince me you don't love me."
"Felicity."
"Don't Felicity me. I'm serious. I love you and I'm already part of your team. I'm practically an honorary member and I want the secret handshake and the keycodes. I want my own chair and I want to help find Walter. I also want to make sure you never do that to another computer system again. That was embarrassing."
"Felicity...can I talk now?"
"What? If you hold up your hand to placate me, I'm going to rip it off."
"Okay...you're scary when you're mad," he says taking her hands in his. "What I'm doing...what Dig and I are doing is dangerous. I almost died tonight because of my mother. I...no...my turn. I know you're strong and committed. I know you can do this. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can go out there every night knowing you're a target."
"I've been a target for months Oliver. I'm good but I'm not the only hacker out there."
"If we do this...if you come down into the lair and join this war then...there will be some rules. You'll need to do what I say when it comes to the Hood. You'll need to stay safe always. You'll carry a tracker on you at all times. I can change or add to these at any time. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Now about the other thing," he begins tugging her down to his lap. "I love you. I know it was implied but I wanted you to hear it from me now."
"I wanted to hear it. Oliver we need to get one thing straight."
"Yeah?"
"You only get one of these. You don't have to sit down and tell me everything that happened to you right now but you don't get to keep things from me for months at a time because...you feel like it. If you are sitting there wondering how I'm going to react then that means you need to tell me. Got it?"
"Got it. So we're okay Felicity?"
"I want egg rolls so...get on that. Then we'll be okay."
"I just...I didn't expect you to accept this...or me."
"Like you said, I'm remarkable."
Felicity watches him sleep again. She was laying on his other side tonight out of fear she would hit his wound in her sleep. She did demand he take the pain medicine Diggle gave him even though he didn't want it. Thirty minutes later he's asleep and she's moved the Chinese food they've been eating to her bedside table.
"You scared me today," she whispers to him. "I don't know if we can make it or go the distance but I know I want to try."
She leaves him in bed, padding to her computer room. Connecting the drive up to it she pages through the evidence she has collected on the Hood and Oliver Queen. A few keystrokes start the delete. Each percentage of data is just another bit closer to protecting him. She can do so little to keep him safe but she knows being down there, running the computers and deleting any evidence found on him will keep him safe. She can't even think about the bullets or arrows or other weapons that will be used against him. She can't do anything about them.
She works tirelessly and hacks into Queen Consolidated. Each video feed is systematically reset and each bit of footage from the evening is wiped. She back tracks across town working the route Diggle said he took. Each surveillance camera is wiped clean and countless servers are messed with by her. Silently she takes out each place and loops footage to create a seamless evening. She scrubs the footage the police has, edits the files Detective Lance keeps, and orders all evidence related to the Hood to be destroyed.
"Have you slept?" he asks suddenly. His hands clap down on her shoulders and she moans when his fingers begin their massage. "What are you doing?"
"Erasing the Hood from his attack on Moira Queen," she says. "I took out 15 surveillance cameras, 3 tapes of police evidence, and 1 back-up blood sample."
"I didn't expect for you to join the team tonight."
"I'm not going to let them lose sight of the issues. Detective Lance wants to take down the Hood because he's missing the point. You are doing good out there even when I disagree with the methods. Crime is down and some of the biggest cockroaches in town have scurried away. Taking down the Hood is not going to fix anything."
"Have you slept at all?"
"No."
"Come to bed," he urges. When she doesn't move he scoops her up ignoring her protests about his wound. She keeps watching it, expecting it to start gushing blood at any second. Instead he settles her back down and begins to talk.
She listens when he tells her about Yao Fei. He tells her about almost killing himself in that cave. He tells her about being tortured by Billy Wintergreen and the time right after arriving on the island he thought he would never come home. He doesn't tell her everything and she doesn't ask. Instead she just snuggles up closer to him and hugs him. He's been through so much and she doesn't know how he made it. Well she does. He's the strongest person she's ever met but still...what he went through.
The both fall asleep tangled together and when she wakes up, he's gone. She rubs the empty space and looks around wondering if she dreamt it all.
"I want to take you home with me." She looks up in the doorway and smiles. He's fresh from the shower and the towel is riding low. "I want you to meet my family."
"Oliver?"
"No...we keep putting it off and I love you. I want them to know you. I want them to see how happy I am."
She smiles when he gathers her hands in his and kisses them. She crawls up on her knees and embraces him, breathing in the smell of his soap. His hands slip down over her hips and points to one of the cupcakes.
"I like these," he says. "They're cute."
Turns out they look a lot cuter to him on the floor.
"What if they don't like me?" she asks. "Maybe we should do this another time. Maybe it's a bad idea. Your mom was attacked by the Hood and she shot you and now you're healing from being shot…"
"Felicity, they are going to love you." She tugs on the pink dress she's wearing and messes with the hem while he drives. "Everything is going to be fine."
"You don't know that. I'm just the I.T. girl at Queen Consolidated. You live in an estate. It's not just a house Oliver. It's an estate!"
"You are not just the I.T. Girl." He grabs her hand and she links her fingers with his. He's so calm and she can't understand it. Isn't he worried? Shouldn't be be worried?
He doesn't say anything when he helps her out of the car. He just takes her hand and leads her to the front door. She looks around the yard and just shakes her head. This amount of wealth is baffling. How could he feel so comfortably in her tiny apartment when he has all of this? She's been here before but she never really looked at it.
"It's just a house Felicity." She spins around in the entryway. That last few times she has been here she was always so Oliver or the potential loss of her job to notice. He takes her hand and pulls her towards the stairs, pulling her past countless expensive paintings until he's pulling her into what must be his room.
She's never been here and she walks around the room, touching random pictures and trinkets lying around. She smiles when she encounters so of their pictures and turns realizing his room is filled with them. She's in the pictures by his bed and her Christmas gifts are on his desk...well the dreamcatcher anyway.
"I usually carry the compass," he confesses. "It's in the lair because I went after you."
"This room doesn't feel like you," she says spinning around. "I thought you'd have lots of nature artwork or plants in here but it feels...cold."
"I don't really spend a lot of time here. "
She ends up sitting down at his computer and upgrading his system while he massages her shoulders. His fingers are warm and she almost deletes important files when he hits that one spot. He kisses her and her fingers pause on the keys.
"Ollie! Where have you been?"
They break apart and turn. Thea Queen is standing in the doorway and Felicity watches in awe as the anger Thea had a minute ago melts into shock.
"Speedy!" Oliver and Felicity stay frozen in place as Thea Queen walks across the room to stand in front of them. Her eyes slip down to look at Oliver's hands resting on Felicity's shoulders. Moving around the desk she looks at the screen.
"Wow...you are good at computers. I thought maybe Tommy was lying. I mean my brother and a computer genius? Not what someone would ever...ever guess."
"Speedy this is Felicity Smoak," Oliver says warmly. "Felicity this is my sister Thea."
"Oliver talks about you all the time," Felicity says.
"He never talks about you but then...he's really secretive."
"Speedy…"
"Get out Ollie. I want to talk to Felicity alone."
"Speedy…"
"Out!" Oliver finally moves slipping the door closed behind him, shooting Felicity a slightly worried look.
"So let's talk computer girl," Thea says sliding up to sit on the desk. "Are you interested in my brother's money or is it real?"
"It's real."
"How do I know you're telling the truth?"
"You don't I guess. I know he loves you more than anything Thea and I know I love him. So...I want you to like me but I'm more worried about Oliver. He's my first concern."
"You love him?"
"Yes."
"Then that's enough for me," Thea says before hopping off the desk. "If you hurt him, I'll destroy you."
Felicity nods and watches Thea head for the door, opening it and gesturing to Oliver. She looks at him and smiles, nodding at his unasked question.
"Mom's not here but I want to have lunch with you guys. Raisa made your favorite."
"Thanks Speedy," he says hugging her.
"Always Ollie."
Thanks for reading!
