What can I say? This was a hard chapter for me to write - as I'm sure my Beta would back me up on. I rewrote this 4 times, cut three pages and changed the ended twice before i was ready to send it off. I still don't know how i feel about it either, its pretty long.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the second to last chapter!
Chapter Nineteen: Gift
My winter coat lay draped over the railing of the bike rack of my apartment building as I, for what seemed like the 50th time, fidgeted with the end of my skirt. My mind told me I should have been freezing without the thick insulation of the jacket, but I had taken took it off due to being too warm after fifteen minutes. Demons didn't get cold very easily after all, as most had a much higher body temperature than humans.
"I'm still not sure about this…" I mumbled glancing back at the women behind me. Shizuru raised a brow in response, her arms crossed over her chest and I dropped the hemmed edge of the fabric.
"I'm not sure how I should take that expression, honestly Izumi, did I waste my time finding it?" she mused making me regret my words instantly. The brunette had showed up on my doorstep a good two hours ago to help her get ready and while her arrival had been expected, her gift had not been. Still she'd some how gotten me in the thing and out for the apartment while wearing it. Now we were simply waiting for Kuwabara to show up and all three of us would head for Kurama's and the Christmas Party we had been invited to.
"No, I mean, it's very pretty Shizuru," I assured her looking back down my form. "I'm just not…used to wearing something like this…" The dress was amazing. It was red, with a queen-Anne neckline and no sleeves. It clung to me perfectly and spun out in a fan of fabric for a skirt that spread its wings with every turn. A black belt with a gold buckle at my waist was the only decoration on the soft fabric. It was simple, yet elegant.
"Showy?" the older women mused, a lazy smirk on her face. I felt my face burn in response and looked down. "You're a pretty girl Izumi, it's time you stopped hiding under long sleeves and collared necklines." She moved closer as she spoke, uncrossing her arms. "This is a good chance to start being who you want to be, I mean, isn't that why you did all this? The hair, the music, the tail?" She waved at me and I gave her a sheepish smile, my shadow appendage slipping back under my dress where it wrapped around my waist and disappeared. Shadows didn't have a density or a shape unless I willed them to, so it could go unseen easily.
She was right, I just hadn't expected her to give me a push forward.
It had been a week and a half since the night my life had been changed drastically once again. Memories of what happened when I got home were blurry at best, full of agony and heartbreak, loss and tears. I mostly remember how hard I had cried and how Kurama hadn't let me go until I had finally stopped.
The next morning things had been better, not good, but less painful and more level headed. In truth I didn't do much for the next two days, just stayed in my apartment, staring at walls and trying to understand how to deal with everything again. Kurama had been there for most of it – the first day he couldn't even leave, seeing as it took almost 24 hours for him to be able to change back into his human form.
On the third day I had pulled myself back together enough to leave my home, and with the redhead at my side had went to the Kuwabaras' and explained everything. It had been time I told them; Kazuma had risked his life, and keeping anything from his sister would have been impossible. So I told them the same story I told Kurama. They took it well in all honestly, though the carrot-topped boy gave me a very sad look – not of pity, but of remorse for assuming things.
Since then I had done what I could to move forward. I had cut my hair – something I had never done in this life – and then I had pulled out music books that held old, classical songs in them, the ones musicians that were long gone had brought to life. How long had it been since I had played anything but Celtic music where a violin was referred to as a fiddle? It had weird to play those notes again.
"I know," I finally said to Shizuru, running a hand through my styled hair, the loose curls winding around my fingers. "I promised myself, promised him that this final chance he gave me would be different." I ran a hand down my other arm in thought, remembering that realization days back. I couldn't be April anymore, but I also didn't have to be just the Soul Detective.
I could move forward.
"Then don't stop now," Shizuru encouraged, resting a hand on my bare shoulder. "This isn't that big of a step, it's still a pretty modest dress. After all, you're meeting future in-laws, you want to make a good impression, don't you?" She was teasing me, and while my face did flush, all I could do was smile. There was no ring, no vows, Kurama hadn't even asked such a thing, but maybe it was because it was such an obvious conclusion that would one day happen.
I nodded, smoothing my hands over the dress once more. "I do have one question, though," I muttered eyeing her over my shoulder. "How did you know my size?"
The brunette grinned, her hand leaving my shoulder. "You can thank Keiko for that. You guys do go shopping together a lot, after all."
That we did.
A few days ago we had done just that, looking for Christmas presents and party wear. I didn't find anything I had thought I could pull off, but apparently, the two girls had. I snorted, shaking my head.
"You guys are too much."
"Hey, it is Christmas, and this is our joint present to you…and in a way to Red as well." Her words were sly and this time, I did outright blush and scowled at her.
"Just for that you're not getting your gift till it's the proper time," I grumbled and the girl blinked and then chuckled.
"Fine by me, I just can't wait to see the redhead's face," she mused taking her pack of smokes from her coat pocket and shaking one out. "Bro should be here soon, if not, we may have to go on without him."
No, she wouldn't. If my tale had done anything it had made the Kuwabara siblings closer.
Looking her over as she smoothed the black and green satin dress she wore, I couldn't help but wonder if she'd stayed single on purpose to help raise Kuzuma. She was so pretty and tall and kind. It made me wish she did have someone to look nice for too.
"Hey!" The gravelly voice of our escort – he had insisted we needed his protection – had us both turning to see Kuwabara walking towards us. Hand raised, a thick coat, and scraf over his dress clothes.
Shizuru smirked, letting out a puff of smoke from a newly lit cigarette, and started forward, her small bag of gifts hung on one arm. I grabbed my coat, pulling it on, knowing I needed to at least pretend to seem normal, but didn't bother zipping it up. My hand strayed to my neck for a moment, searching for something I knew wasn't there. It was a habit that wasn't going to die easily.
I'm unsure of what had happened to Kuronue's pendant; the last thing I remembered of it was handing it to Kurama to show him what had happened. I'd yet to have the confidence to ask him what he'd done with it. I'm not sure what I would do with it anyway…
I let my hand fall to my side and let out a deep breath of air. Bending down I snatched up my small gift bag, turned on the heels of my silly black heels, and headed after the brunette. Kuwabara greeted me warmly, offering to take my bag, but I had slyly declined, saying he just wanted to take a peek. The carrot top had sputtered, and his sister and I had laughed, making the trek through the snowy night more enjoyable.
The Minamino residence was buzzing with life. Cars cluttered their street – though I was sure not every car was for them – and the porch lights blazed red and green due to colored cellophane over the bulbs. The humming of chatter and music thrummed through the door as my small group stepped up on the porch. Kuwabara was the one that knocked.
Kokoda answered the door and it wasn't a surprise to me that he was all dressed up. He'd dodged the tie it seemed, but everything else was there. His face lit up as he saw us; apparently family got boring rather quickly. "Hey, guys!" He stepped to the side and let us in, where I slipped off my shoes and hung up my coat, thankful to get rid of it. "I can take your bags for you if you want? Put them under the tree?"
The siblings handed them to the boy quickly, and I wondered what was in them. Probably something for the hosts as thanks for the invitation and something for Kurama. I was currently wearing my gift from Shizuru and wasn't quite sure what to expect from her brother. Something, I was sure, as he'd grinned at me when I'd asked on the way over about the bag.
"Izumi?" I blinked, realizing I'd basically zoned out and Kokoda was looking at me worried, his hand out waiting to relieve me of my larger bag. I had quite a few more people to give gifts to here, so it only made sense. Raising an eyebrow I held it out to him. "No peaking," I jested and watched with satisfaction as his eyes lit up in excitement and took it from me.
"You got me something?" He peeked into the bag as if he could see through the different boxes all wrapped in paper and bows. I snorted a bit rolling my eyes, a devilish smirk working its way onto my face.
"I guess you'll have to wait and see, won't you?" I teased and his grin faltered, suddenly worried about what it was I could have possibly gotten him that would cause such a smirk. After a moment he shook his head, all too used to my teasing by now. I moved to ask where Kurama was, oddly excited to see what his reaction was to my dress now that I was here. Not that I'd let Shizuru know that, but I never got to as a voice from further in the house called out to me.
"Izumi! Merry Christmas dear!" I hardly had time to turn before I was caught in the warm hug of Shiori and I laughed slightly, returning it.
"Same to you Shiori," I replied and pulled back as she did. She greeted the other two as well, and the siblings thanked her for the invite.
"Oh, it was nothing, I'm glad Shuichi invited all of you, it will be more fun for him that way." The older women in her cream sweater dress grasped my hand tightly with a smile. "You look darling tonight, come, I should induce you to my sister, Shuichi is speaking with her." She led me forward before I could even say anything and I caught the laughter of my friends and Kokoda behind me and couldn't help but smile.
I'd been warned after all, Shiori was excited to have me meet her family, her heart set on the idea that one day I would be part of the family. Not that I disagreed but, well, it was a bit embarrassing.
The next two hours were a blur, as I met a stream of people and almost instantly forgot their names. Kurama had grinned at me when he had seen saw me, his hand taking the place of his mother's quickly, but we'd had little time to really speak. He'd hardly reacted to the dress other than to say it was pretty on me, thought I did catch him drag his eyes over me casually. I wasn't very good at being a model girlfriend, but at least I had my story down, had answers to all their questions. I'd come here with a law degree, working part time under a defense attorney while going to auditions with my violin.
For some reason Shiori seemed to be very excited about my music, not that she ever wasn't but tonight, somehow it was different. I'd given Kurama a questioning look, but he'd only smiled that elusive, cunning smile of his.
Cheeky fox.
By the time it was time to hand gifts out I had taken to drinking a glass of sake with the Kuwbaras and had to set my glass down as I picked up my bag of gifts much like others did and began to hand them out. I hadn't gone Christmas shopping in such a long time; it was more fulfilling then I had remembered to see people's faces light up. I gave a complex, latticed metal hairclip decked with crystals for Shizuru, a set of Manga for Kazuma, 'a videogame Kokoda had been hinting at—a tip I received from Shiori. I gave the host season pass tickets to the largest performing arts theater in town – one I had auditioned for, not that they knew.
I received gifts as well, more than I had thought I would. Shiori gave me a cookbook with both English and Japanese dishes in it. Kokoda sheepishly handed me a music book full of modern day songs' sheet music, and my favorite goofy friend Kuwabara had handed me tickets to a hot spring in Okinawa – two of them. I'd given him a stunned look, trying to figure out how he'd afforded these, but he'd just grinned like I knew he would. I laughed, letting it go and simply enjoying the people around me.
The hum of chatter and laughter was almost its own light and I was lost in it until a strong hand pulled me to the side. Everyone was busy opening other gifts when Kurama grabbed my hand. No one even said anything as the redhead led me out the side door and onto the porch. I was surprised but relieved all the same. I hadn't really wanted to give him his gift with so many eyes watching us. Perhaps that was how he felt, and perhaps that was why no one had stopped us. Maybe they understood, we hadn't really had a moment alone all night.
I looked at him curiously as he dropped my hand and turned to me, a searching look in his eyes. "Kurama?" I muttered and he smiled before picking up something that had been sitting on the ground. I'd been so distracted I hadn't even seen it. I raised my hands automatically not really seeing it until I realized it had some weight to it. An oddly a familiar weight. Looking down I could only stare at the sleek black leather violin case. It didn't feel empty.
I bit my lip, excited yet somewhat numb as I clicked it open with one hand, balancing it on the other. Nestled in the purple velvet was a forest green violin, the acrylic face not metallic but there was *with* a certain shine to it, a sparkle like stardust. The rest was a mild maple wood, smooth and perfect. Off to one side, I could see a spot for a cord to be plugged in, and a switch to change it from acoustic to eclectic.
"Kurama…" I didn't know what to say to that, didn't even know how to feel about it. It was like watching a tidal wave, amazing and breath-taking and yet so terrifying. I wasn't sure why I was scared, but something about this made my chest clench together.
"The night I lost you," Kurama spoke quietly, breaking my racing thoughts. "That night, when you were laying on the ground and I had to find a way to save you… and then you said you couldn't feel your legs." I looked at him, my arms cradling the open case. He was looking off in the snow edged night, his face calm, but his voice torn between a memory and the now. "I realized in that moment that I couldn't do anything for you because for once I was the liability. It's why you didn't call me that night."
"You know that's not true," I interjected stepping closer. I wanted to touch him, but my hands were more or less busy. "Your family needed you and…and it was my problem, my family."
"Izumi," he looked me in the eyes and I nearly flinched at the awful look in them. "You've never once voiced your thoughts on what I did, sealing away my power, but Kuronue was loud enough for the both of you. You didn't have to tell me, I knew you worried and you disagreed, yet you let me go forward with it." A small smile graced his face at that as if remembering something. "It's part of the reason I love you."
He said it so easily, so calmly that I almost didn't register it. My legs just about abandoned me, and I just stared at him. He'd never said those words before, though I'd known how he felt, though he'd shown me as much so many times. Something about him saying it…
"Then Kuronue brought you back," he went on, not stopping to really gauge my reaction. "I don't think I ever really realized how much he cared about you till that moment, to use that spell on you. He never told you about it, did he?"
I shook my head, looking back down at my gift. "No. I still don't understand it." I'd lost track of how many times I'd dug through the memories I could remember of his past. I didn't have his thoughts anymore, couldn't skim through the library of his mind, but I could pick up the books I had already checked out.
"Kuronue was born with a rather large amount of demonic energy," Kurama muttered, reaching forward and placing a hand on the railing in front of us. "It was quite a problem for him growing up, he caused a lot of things to go wrong, much like you did that night…" he trailed off, but I knew what he spoke of. I'd almost destroyed my room when I'd lost control of my newly given powers.
"I…didn't know," I whispered, feeling somewhat betrayed by such a secret. Why wouldn't he have let me know this?
"It was something very few knew about, he more than likely buried it deep in his memories." He shifted sighing, recalling thoughts from so long ago when his hair was silver and not red. "He found a solution early on: his pendant. While he used it as a way to distract those around him, make them believe it was a tool to cast his spells, it really wasn't. That gem was a crystal, an imbued one meant to hold and store energy. Kuronue used it to store the extra demonic energy he naturally produced, and it stacked up, accumulating over his lifetime. I asked him about it once, and he said it was his trump card, a way to bring himself back from the dead, with enough energy to heal his body completely and drag his soul back in."
I was quiet for a moment, a long unanswered question suddenly being solved. "That's why he went after it in that bamboo forest. He really did need it."
"Yes, but he never fully reached it, and the spell backfired. Trapping him in the pendant along with his reserves."
The irony on such insight was almost too much and I snorted shaking my head. "I wonder if he ever thought he would end up using it on someone else."
Kurama turned and reached out, touching one of my hands that held the case. "If there is anything I've realized from all of this, it's that all three of us spent too much time in the past—avoiding it, trying to relive it, or being stuck in it. Izumi, look at the back of it.".
I raised an eyebrow and pulled away, carefully setting the case on the ground again, crouched there, and removed the instrument from it. I took in a deep breath and flipped it over. Written in a dark stain on the back in small letters was a single phrase.
"Always remember, but never regret."
I wasn't sure a truer statement could have ever been said. It was something I had been trying to do in these last few days, and apparently; Kurama had taken notice and agreed.
"Thank you," I whispered, and carefully replaced the violin, closing the lid. I took in a deep breath before speaking again, "You know, in a way, it feels like all of this had to happen," I muttered, standing back up. When I glanced at Kurama he looked confused and saddened by such words. I smiled slightly, letting my thoughts tumble out in a stream of thought. "It's as if I had to say goodbye to him and to my brother and the life that they both had kept in the forefront of my mind. Two goodbyes for one new beginning, something Kuronue had planned from the start, I think."
"He did?" Kurama words were so soft, his eyes not so sad, and I gave a small nod, joining him near the railing.
"Kuronue had said that no matter what had happened, in the end, he had made the choice to do exactly what he did, it had just happened sooner than he had planned." "I looked at my hand and the carefully filed-down claws on my fingers. "He knew that we were happy, but...our happiness would have been cut short due to what I was."
"Human?" Kurama questioned, and I nodded my head again. There was clear understanding in his eyes then, he knew what I meant. Because in the end, when the time came Kurama would leave his human form behind, and demons lived so much longer than humans. He would have been left with the grief of me dying of old age. I rested my forearms on the railing, leaning on them. It was cold outside, frost glittering on the wood, but demonic blood is so much hotter than human blood, I reminded myself again. I hardly felt it. Leaning forward I let out another long sigh, eyes drooping as I contemplated.
"I just… I still don't understand how he did it. Turned me into a demon."
"It is possible that in a way you are like Yusuke." At his words, I jerked a bit, head whipping to the side again to look at him in surprise. Kurama simply tilted his head, smiling slightly. "Not to the same extent of course, but I had always wondered how the Soul Detective bond was possible. You said it was because they are linked by fate, soul mates, but that doesn't attend to the fact that for some reason you were able to use and withstand demonic energy, not just any, but his only."
I pressed my lips together, wondering how I had never really thought about that. I suppose it had really never mattered to me. "What are you trying to say then?"
"I think it's possible that every Soul Detective had demonic heritage. Back before the worlds were separated, demon-human offspring did happen. With so much time having passed, the genetics would be hardly even in existence, but if enough demonic energy of the same race of demon that was your ancestor was to awaken it? It is possible, it would explain why your powers are of the same elemental type but have manifested differently."
That was true. I was a shadow demon, just like Kuronue, but I wasn't a bat demon, and Kuronue had certainly never had a tail of shadows – something Kurama referred to as my 'mark of the Lionhearted' because it vaguely looked like the feline's tail and because the name referred to bravery. I personally thought he was being silly. – So maybe Kurama was on to something. Whether that was the case or not, it hardly mattered now.
Shaking my head, I turned around once again and bent down, grabbing at my bag. "I should give you your gift; if we spend too much time out here, people will start noticing," I muttered, letting the subject drop, I didn't want to dwell on my still lingering grief over everything. I'd ponder more on it later. I reached in blindly for the last wrapped box inside. "I hope you like it," I muttered and picked up a golden wrapped box, holding it out to the redhead as I stood straight again. "Merry Christmas Kurama." His face showed the curiosity that rushed through him at how light the small box was when he picked it up and I smiled wickedly at his look. He opened it quickly; probably realizing our time alone would have to end soon.
Once the lid was off, I found myself holding my breath. I knew what was inside, and I bit the inside of my cheek as he lifted the blank toothless key between his fingers. He gave me with an odd look and I felt my lips twitch, amused. I would never get tired of being able to have the rare occasion of stumping him.
"I was thinking…" I muttered, looking away for a moment in a sudden wave of embarrassment. "It's…weird being completely alone in that apartment… I was wondering if you'd like to find an apartment together…or you could just move into the one I'm in now…" Awkward, so very awkward. My face was so hot I thought I had a sunburn for a moment. What I said was true, though, my apartment felt like a huge empty hole now. Even if Kuronue had never really lived there – he'd lived in his pendant and in the back of my mind – not seeing him in his ghostly appearance around my apartment, not hearing his voice in my head…it was too quiet, too big for just me.
"I see," he pocketed the key, giving me an understanding look, his eyes are warm with emotion. "I had wondered if you were lonely," Kurama muttered, and I felt him move closer. He tilted his head, and I only really had a moment to realize he was smirking like the fox he was before he was kissing me, a hand cupping the back of my head and pulling me closer. I returned it eagerly arms around his neck instantly, knowing this was all I was getting, knowing we had to return inside.
Maybe it was a silly gift, as in a way it benefited me more than him. It had meaning, though, so much more than any item ever could, I hoped he understood that. The trust I was showing him by being willing to let him into my life further than I had let anyone other than Kuronue, and in some ways more so…I was giving him the trust that I so rarely gave to others, and above all else, I was showing him just how much I loved him.
Kurama seemed to like it, though, if the way he was kissing me – biting my lip for entrance, growling softly in the back of his throat, making the animalistic tension I had gained with from being a demon scrape at my control – meant anything. He pulled back before I could do anything more than skim my fingers along the back of his ear, making him shiver. I bit back a protest, and he smirked resting his forehead against mine.
"Sorry, that was unfair of me," he mused, not sounding sorry at all. He knew quite well I was having trouble getting used to the hormonal drive that demons seemed to have, so much stronger than humans. Not that it was really that much different for him, but he certainly had more experience controlling it than I did. He let his hands run down my shoulders, trailing down to grasp my hands in his where I had dropped them. "I will speak to Mother about this. I believe it is about time I 'left the nest' so to speak. It would make things easier for the both of us."
My eye nearly twitched at the seductive edge to his last words and I scowled playfully at him. "You're unbearable tonight," I grumbled. "I hope you know you're going to have to pay up."
He laughed quietly, pulling his head away and gave me a meaningful look. "Once they've gone to bed, I'll come to you." His eyes trailed down my form, more openly than he had before. "Do not take off that dress 'til I get there."
Oh, so he did like it.
"Noted," I snickered and pulled one hand away to pick up the instrument case. "We should get back inside." I hoped my hair wasn't too messed up; people didn't need to think we'd been doing anything out here. Kurama used his free hand and fixed what I had been contemplating, moving a few curls of styled hair to one side. He nodded his head after that, and led me back inside, the warm house air greeting us like a wall of heat.
When we got back to our little group within the mass of people, Shiori beamed when her eyes landed on my gift from her son. That certainly explained a few things if he'd told her what he'd gotten me.
Suddenly, I had an understanding as to why she'd been so interested in my music this evening. As I got closer Kuwabara looked up from the new Manga I had given him and grinned at me, looking curiously at the case and then to Kurama. The fox demon gave a small shrug of his shoulders in response and let go of my hand as Shiori moved to stand next to me.
"Izumi dear. Is there any chance I could get you to play for us?" she asked sweetly, drawing the eyes of anyone in hearing range. Anxiety smashed into the back of my mind but I quickly shut it out, not even letting myself get caught up in silly worry over something so simple.
"Well, I can Shiori, but I'm going to have to tune the thing first," I muttered looking down at the case, hoping to deter her without being blunt. I felt hands on my shoulders; Kurama had moved behind me to make room for his mother. The hands squeezed lightly and his voice was near my head as he spoke.
"When I picked it up from Miyumi's father's store I had him tune it for you," he explained and I cursed him silently in the back of my mind.
He'd set this up.
He was so going to get it later, once we were alone.
Shiori gave me a brilliant smile and waited for me to say something as I panicked for a second, my excuse vanishing before I gave in. After all, what could it hurt? This wasn't my first show; I'd played in front of many more people than this before. The difference was that I really wanted to leave a good impression with these people. I bit my lip before smiling. "Alright Shiori, I think I have a Christmas song or two I know by heart. Do you have a preference?"
The older woman shook her head. "No dear, whatever you would like. It will be a treat I'm sure." She had never heard me play, I realized. No one here except Kurama and Kuwabara had. I nodded my head and moved, sitting down in the chair I had been in before and putting the case at my feet where I clicked it open. Kurama stayed next to his mother, giving me the stage, as it were and I suddenly wished he hadn't done that.
People started moving in a bit closer, settling down and hushing conversation as I took the violin from its case and picked up the bow. I glanced to Kurama again, feeling uneasy and he gave a small nod, encouraging me with the warmth in his eyes.
I mentally selected the songs I knew best, knowing I hadn't played any Christmas music in a very long time. Another deep breath and I set the violin on my shoulder, my jaw touching the smooth plastic of the chin rest, and raised the bow to the strings.
The first note is always the hardest, feeling the anticipation of the people around me, their stares and expectations of how you'll sound, how you'll play. I remembered a time when that feeling used to suffocate me, used to make me feel like I was choking as if I couldn't breathe. That feeling prodded at me now but I easily ignored it. My fingers touched the proper strings and I moved the bow against them.
It's easy after that, the music covers up any worries or doubts I have. My fingers dance, slow and calm along with the bow like a waltz is being performed that only I can see. The notes form the melody of the timeless song Silent Night, and I noted that indeed, the violin had been tuned perfectly. I lost myself in the song, not really even having to concentrate on my hands – they knew what to do. I took that time to discreetly look around the room. It was silent now, except for a few whispers farther back, and while not everyone is looking at me – their bodies turned this way and that in the room – I knew they were listening. The Kuwabara siblings have both taken seats; hands still holding glasses, both watching me with calm eyes. Shiori is smiling, leaning back into her husband's arms, looking to truly be enjoying it. Kokoda fidgets in his seat, interested but still bored as most young people would be.
When I looked to Kurama, I almost faltered in my notes, because the look he was giving me made my insides shudder and sigh. He didn't look that different really, but there was a subtle look to him, the glint in his eyes, and the tilt of his head. It brought forward just what he had said to me outside, reinforcing it ten-fold. I love you. Could I have asked for anything more than that? Yet I had gotten so very much more. I smiled a bit moving my hand rhythmically up the neck of the violin as a few fast notes came and sung through the air.
Behind him, and behind everyone else, my mind saw something brought to life by my heart. Near the back, leaning on a wall with one shoulder like he always had I saw Kuronue standing there. Not transparent like a ghost, but whole and alive with flesh and blood. His arms were lazily crossed and from under the brim of his witch's hat his eyes met mine and for a moment I could almost feel the pendant resting at my collarbone. Then, the bat demon closed his eyes and tilted his head, a pleasant smile on his face as he listened.
My heart ached in a bittersweet happiness and I closed my eyes, knowing that when I opened them he would be gone. My eyes swam behind closed lids and for a moment I strained to keep myself together, my heart threatening to fall back into grief.
"Even if you can't feel me, or see me, I'll always be right beside you Izumi." Kuronue's words drifted back to me and I remember my promises to him. After all, was he truly gone if I remembered him? I would never forget, never once let the image of my best friend fade from my mind. I engraved his voice, his eyes, his smile, and his heart, on to my own and felt it grow stronger.
Opening my eyes I blinked back tears, trying to clear my vision. I looked to Kurama who looked slightly worried for a moment before I mouthed the words I knew were imprinted on our hearts just like the violin.
Always remember, never regret.
I smiled at him and he returned it, giving me a small, careful nod in agreement and I slid my bow across the strings in answer, the notes soft and endearing. In the end, that was all we could do, that and to always think of every day together as a gift. It was, after all, the gift Kuronue had given us both.
I would cherish it forever.
