[AN: Radar appeared as a regular character in M*A*S*H. I'm thinking I'll alternate posting this story between the A-Team and MASH sites, as it didn't get very many views on the Cross-Over site.]
Chapter 2: Paper and rock
HM Murdock sauntered across the compound as he made his way to the clerk's office. On entering the room, he was met by a scene of utter chaos and devastation. Filing cabinets had been pulled open and the contents of the folders had been flung haphazardly on the ground. Army forms and other paper documents were also strewn around the room.
Sitting on the floor, in the midst of it all, was Corporal Klinger, looking very fetching in a short-sleeved, pink satin knee-length dress. A lacy-layered frill adorned the neck and hem, with a fake diamond tiara and matching chandelier earrings completing the outfit.
The pilot blinked in amusement at the rather bizarre vision in front of him. But not to be outdone, he sat down in an empty chair and removed a 14 pound rock from his rucksack. He placed it carefully on the desk in front of him, muttering to it lovingly. He surreptitiously glanced sideways at the Corporal, waiting for some sort of response.
But Klinger seemed oblivious to the Captain and his companion. He continued his frantic search for whatever it was he was looking for, picking up random pieces of paper and throwing them away in frustration.
He then got up and started rummaging through the contents on the desk, reading every piece of paper he picked up with a great deal of concentration. Then he would screw it up and throw it away over his shoulder, muttering "No, that's not it" angrily to himself. It was only when he started to rifle through the bin, that the pilot could contain his curiosity no more.
"I say old bean," he said in a near perfect British accent, dodging the candy wrappers and discarded newspapers that were being tossed in his direction. "You're making the most frightful mess. What exactly are you looking for?"
It was at that moment that the company clerk walked into the room. He flung his hands up in horror when he saw the mess in his office.
"Jiminy Crickets, Klinger!" he screeched irritably. "What have you done to my office!"
"You gotta help me find it, Radar!" lamented Klinger dramatically. "I can't stand it here any longer! I've gotta get out!"
"You better clear all this mess up before the Colonel sees it," warned Radar. "Or he'll kick your ass before you can say Section 8."
"That's it, that's it!" exclaimed Klinger in excitement. "That's what I'm looking for! You better give it to me Radar, or I'm gonna tear up this camp looking at every bit of paper until I get it!"
Radar groaned and rolled his eyes towards the heavens as the penny dropped. This was just another one of Klinger's schemes to get out the army. Deciding to play along with his little charade, he walked over to the filing cabinet and handed the form to Klinger.
"You wanna know somethin'?" said Radar, as he looked round the ransacked room. "The Colonel just might buy it this time."
"You better believe it, kid!" said Klinger. "Where is the Colonel now, Radar?"
"He's in post-op making his rounds," replied Radar.
Klinger smoothed down his dress in a business-like manner and strode confidently to the door. As an after-thought he turned back to Radar, a puzzled frown puckering up his eyebrows.
"Hey?" he said quizzically. "I went all through the "S" section in your filing cabinet and I didn't see no Section 8 forms."
"That's because they're filed under "O" for "Out of here"," answered Radar, slightly perplexed as to why Klinger should be so confused over his alphabetical filing system.
"Of course!" concurred Klinger, as if it all suddenly made sense. He turned to give Murdock a quick glance, muttered something about liking his rock and then rushed out of the room to find the Colonel.
"Sorry about that, Captain," said Radar, apologetically, sitting down in his chair.
"That's quite alright, Corporal", said Murdock, shaking his head in a sympathetic manner. "What a very sad state of affairs."
"What can I do for you, Sir?" asked Radar.
Murdock rose from his seat, at the same time as picking up his rock.
We've come to pick up one of your officers and fly him to Tokyo for the Medical Conference," said Murdock, gently patting the rock.
"Erm, we Sir?" enquired Radar, looking rather dubiously at the pilot.
"Yes, me and Rocky here," enthused Murdock. "Isn't he fabulous? He's my best friend you know. We've been through many a journey together. He's as solid as … well … as a rock!
"Whatever you say, Captain," said Radar, apprehensively. "If you turn right out of here and make your way towards The Swamp, Major Burns will be waiting for you.
"The Swamp?" repeated Murdock. "How quaint! Come along Rocky. Another adventure awaits us!"
Murdock flung his rucksack over his shoulder and cradled Rocky in his hands.
"Tally-ho!" he said brightly to Radar, who very slowly raised his hand to salute the Captain, looking slightly agog at the same time.
Once the pilot left the office, Radar scratched his head in bewilderment. He opened up one of the drawers in his desk and pulled out his teddy bear.
"Jeez! Just went I thought I'd seen it all," he pondered loudly to his bear.
He gave his bear a quick hug, sighing deeply at the wonderment of all the insanity!
[AN: Hmmm, this got a bit disjointed! I'm hoping the next chapter will feature more of a Klinger/Murdock interaction.Thanks for reading and for all the interest in the story so far.As always, reviews/comments/ideas very welcome.]
