A.N: Hi! I had fun with this chapter! Thank you all so much for the lovely comments 3 Each one makes me feel so happy and appreciated and motivated!


Dib had never really cared about his birthday.

It had never been a cause for celebration before. They used to go for dinner when he was younger. But, the last ten years or so had been phone calls and cards. Pats on the back and money. Dib had never really WANTED anything, either. When your dad was rich, you could buy whatever you wanted. But, he also wasn't much for possessions anyway. Nearly everything he owned had its purpose and when it fulfilled that purpose he recycled it, gave it away or threw it out.

Birthdays never felt like a big deal to him. He remembered seeing kids in high school bring balloons and flowers for their friends. They'd sing each other happy birthday in the cafeteria and wear fake crowns with things like 'Birthday Queen/King' on them. Dib would probably die from embarrassment if anything like that had ever happened to him.

So, the very idea of such a big party, of music and stacks of presents and a giant cake and people he didn't know all wishing him 'happy birthday', made him faintly nauseous. Especially since, he knew the ulterior motive behind it. Dad wanted the world to see him. To know his son for when the day came that he would take over the business.

Gaz had left nearly an hour ago. He'd caught a glance of her outfit. It was black and purple and very frilly. A strange combo of femininity and darkness. That was Gaz.

This morning she'd made him pancakes,given him a drawing she'd done of mothman and a mumbled happy birthday before vanishing. He'd hung the picture up on his wall and the pancakes had been delicious.

He looked at himself in the mirror and grimaced. The tux felt...weird. It fit him perfectly but it was stiff. All of it black except for the bow tie, a bright blue. The person in the mirror didn't look like him. He sighed and resigned himself to a night of misery before turning away and pulling his phone out.


8/16/20,

4:50 pm

Big head: Hey I'm leaving to pick you up. Be ready when I get there.

Space Lizard: I am always ready

Big head: yeah ok


Luckily, most of the day had been rainy so the evening wasn't nearly as hot as it had been as of late. So, at least it didn't feel like torture wearing his tux.

He knocked at the door and fought back a yawn. He'd been up all night, going through the data the eyeball's had managed to get back from the Lurpeko labs. Not very smart since he'd known he had to go to the stupid party but, he hadn't really cared at the time.

The irken opened the door and then shut it behind him.

"Hi." he said.

Dib blinked and stepped out of his way.

"Hi. You're uh, you're wearing a dress."

It honestly shouldn't have surprised him. Zim had always worn a dress like thing. It was probably actually a tunic? But it had been so long on him it was basically a dress.

But, ever since he'd convinced the alien to take off his uniform for human clothes, Zim had been wearing a whole kaleidoscope of clothing.

Zim obviously didn't care about what was 'socially' appropriate. About what people said about gender and what people of that gender were 'allowed' to wear. Dib wasn't even sure if Zim knew what gender was or if the irkens had a strong constructed binary, like humans did. Dib had never really given a crap about it either. It seemed so limiting and stupid to tell someone what they could or couldn't wear based on something as fluid as gender.

"Yes. It is 'black tie' appropriate. I asked the store drone."

It was bright magenta, and had a collar and long sleeves, it was tight around his middle and split at his hips, continuing down to just above his ankles. He was wearing his usual black leggings and boots combo. It was a bit bizarre to see his normal wig and contacts along with his fancy getup.

"Oh...kay. Yeah. It certainly is...something. Black tie. Hmm."

Zim narrowed his eyes and glowered a bit.

"What?" He snapped, crossing his arms.

"Nothing. It's just..unexpected is all. You look...nice, Zim."

Dib nodded, satisfied with the word. He shrugged off his own surprise and walked back to the car. The irken yanked the door open and climbed inside.

"Yes, I know." He said, lifting his chin.

Dib rolled his eyes. "One day, Zim, you're going to need to learn manners."

"One day, Dib, you're going to need to learn to shut up."

The human grinned as he started up the car. The sky was a burning orange as the sun set.

"Look who's talking. Also, that's incredibly rude. It's my birthday, Zim. You can't be mean to people on their birthday."

Zim sniffed. "Well,...I suppose I can be a bit nicer to you. But, to make up for it I will be extra mean to you tomorrow."

Dib snickered. "That sounds fair."


The Membrane labs parking lot was packed. He parked his crappy car among the limos, corvettes and other fancy vehicles that he didn't know the names of.

He watched several people walk inside the glass doors. Dib had no idea who they were. They looked like they were chatting, laughing. They carried presents for him. For someone they had never met before in their lives. The sound of Zim opening his door, shook Dib from his musings.

They walked to the door together, Dib steeling himself for the hours he would need to wear a fake smile, say so many thank yous, talk so much useless small talk.

Zim smacked his arm. "Dib."

"What?" Dib asked, fists clenched in his pockets.

"You...you are alright?"

He looked at Zim. The sky was still a fiery orange, though it was fading to a deep blue. The sunset behind the irken's head ringed his stupid face with an unearthly glow.

Zim was trying to look nonchalant but, it was obvious he was concerned. Or at least it was obvious to someone who had spent years trying to decode the expressions of someone without eyebrows or a nose or pupils or any kind of idea about human emotions.

"I'm...alright. I'm dreading this." He could see inside the glass doors. Strangers were dancing, talking, eating, waiting for him.

"Hmm." Zim clicked his tongue. "This is because Membrane wishes you to be his heir?"

Dib ran a hand through his hair and cursed. "Kind of? That's part of it, I guess. I just...this place is full of strangers who think I'm someone I'm not. They want me to be a good, smart person who can follow perfectly in dad's shoes. They're gonna give me shitty presents and want to talk to me and I'm going to have to act like...like my dad. I'm gonna have to smile and answer stupid questions and deal with so much 'how are you's and 'what are you doing right now' and 'how is college' and 'do you have a girlfriend' and...and..." He sighed, looking away from the building. "And I hate it."

Silence. "Why?"

Dib blinked, turning to look at Zim. "Why, what?"

Zim gestured to the lab full of people. "Why do you have to do any of that?"

"B-because?" Dark brows furrowed. "I know this means a lot to my dad. I know I've embarrassed him a lot in the past. He's always had to be disappointed in me...I hate knowing that...that who I am...what I love makes him feel ashamed of..."

Dib shook his head, suddenly terrified as he felt his throat go tight. No. No way. He took several deep breaths until he felt less emotional. "It's just stupid human things."

Zim was silent again. It dragged on for a good minute.

"Dib. I spent so much of my life trying to impress my Tallest."

Dib felt his breath catch in his throat. Zim hadn't spoken of the tallest since...since they'd made their truce.

"That's one of the goals we irkens subscribe to. We live to please them." He shook his head, wrapping his arms across his chest. "But...I haven't thought of them in weeks. It makes me feel guilty and like a traitor."

Dib swallowed. "M-my dad isn't like them. He's my dad. Not some mystery figure who rules the...world. And besides, my dad loves me. He's always provided for us and given us everything he could. He can't help it that he's...him." He hurriedly tacked on, "And you're not a traitor. Your tallest suck."

Zim's face, made thin by shadows, passed through several emotions.

"Dib...I do not understand this." He gestured again to the building and perhaps to the idea of a birthday, of Membrane's looming presence and expectations. "But, we have a truce. I'm with you. I will protect you, you needn't worry about such things. You've handled much more frightening circumstances than some black tie-d parties. You walk head first into things that are unnatural and and terrifying."

Dib sputtered, feeling an unfamiliar blush on his face. He hadn't blushed since...ever?

"Okay so...first of all...I don't need you to protect me. That's not part of the truce. You're helping protect the earth. Not me."

Zim shrugged that off. What was the difference? Dib and earth had always been interchangeable in his mind.

"And secondly..." He was unsure what the second part was. But, it felt like gratitude. Dib felt a bit better, more prepared, less afraid which was kind of stupid. He shook his head and stood up straight. "Let's just go."

Zim studied the human for a second and what he found must've been satisfactory because he nodded and copied the human's posture, lifting his chin and trying to appear taller.


Dib was supposed to be the guest of honor but, he really wasn't. Membrane was always the center of the party. Dib didn't really mind.

The first few hours were pretty unbearable. He'd been announced and then introduced to every single guest. As predicted he'd been given the usual onslaught of questions. Before the party, he'd prepared himself to lie. And each time he opened his mouth, he felt the irken by his side (actually getting along with people, chatting, mingling, being a perfectly imperfect imitation of a human, always just slightly off but, humans always seemed eager to ignore that fact. They were always drawn in by Zim's charisma, even if it was brutally arrogant.).

Instead, he answered every question truthfully.


'Dib, what college are you going to'

'I'm not. I learn best outside of the classroom.'

'Oh. So what are you doing?'

'I'm a freelance investigator of unusual creatures,occurrences and circumstances.'

'That sounds...nice. And this is...?'

'My partner, Zim. He's a jerk. But, smart, intuitive and strong.'

'Your...partner. That's lovely. Where did you guys meet?'

'Uh, in school. We've known each other for a long time.'

'That's adorable.'

'What? Oh. OH. No. No. No. He's uh, my partner. As in business partner. As in ally. As in not...my uh, anything like that.'


'Dib, when are you planning on stepping into your father's shoes, eh?'

'I am honestly not sure, sir.'

'Well, that's just fine. Membrane is still young and going strong.'

'He sure is. I have a hard time believing he'll stop working until absolutely forced to.'

'Ha ha ha, yes! That sounds just like him. So, what are ya doin' in the meantime?'

'I'm a freelance investigator of unusual creatures, occurrences and circumstances.'

'Huh?'

'I'm a paranormal investigator. I work for a very prestigious and old organization.'

'Ah, yes. I had heard rumors of course. My niece is really into that kind of stuff. The occult.'

'Uhh. Well,the occult definitely can be a part of many supernatural-'

'Do you have a girlfriend, Dib?'

'Wha-? Um. No. No, I don't. I don't really have time or...uh the inclination to-'

'My niece is 19 and very pretty. I'm sure she would like you. I'll get you her number.'

'Oh uh, t-thanks? But, um I really-'

'Here, ya go.'

'T-thank you,sir.'


'So, Dib what does this uh...paranormal kind of stuff, um entail exactly?'

'Well, it's actually incredibly vast. The paranormal and supernatural have big roots in the unknowable, the mysterious. Every question we've ever had about things that can't be fully explained, can be answered and investigated by those who study the paranormal. I've dedicated my life to-'

'It's about ghosts and ufos and bigfoot.'

'Zim! That's not JUST what it is. Those ARE some of the questions and mysteries that need to be solved. But, it also includes things like time and space, other cryptids, fringe science, questions about the afterlife, ESP-'

'Yeah. And also, werewolves.'

'I'm going to kill you.'


After he'd talked to every single person in the whole building, Dib was forgotten. He was thankful for this and slipped away to a empty side room. It looked like a cross between an office and a lab.

Dib sat in a chair and sighed, letting his posture go limp. Talking to and being around so many people was exhausting. Introversion and parties did not get along well. He felt drained.

The door opened and he looked up, startled for a second, thinking maybe someone had caught him and was here to drag him back to the party or scold him for being in some random room. But, it was just Zim. He relaxed again and shut his eyes in preparation as the irken turned on the light.

"What are you doing?" Zim asked, voice loud and spelling out his every emotion and intention. A far cry from the polite pleasantries he'd been suffering through the last hour.

"Recuperating. Resting. Hiding." The light shut off again and Dib opened his eyes and watched Zim walk over to a counter, topped with test tubes and cylinders and mystery chemicals in bottles.

Dib noted the sway of his hips, before he closed his eyes, yawning into a fist. "Why? What are you doing?"

"I saw you duck away to hide like a smeet. I followed you. Obviously."

Dib snorted. "Right. I know that. I mean, you seemed like you were doing alright out there. People like you."

Zim scoffed, and there was the sound of soft glass like clinks. "Of course they do. I do not like them, however."

Dib breathed a chuckle and pulled out his phone. The light from his screen was way too bright. He checked his emails. He scrolled through the junk mail and answers to forum posts before he came to a message sent by the Eyeballs. He read through it silently for a second.

"Agent Darkbooty says that the lab we staked out has been raided and they're currently taking everyone and everything into custody. Wow. They've found at least four living specimens."

"You mean, more of those horrible hybrid things."

"Yes, those." Dib knew without looking that the irken shuddered at the thought. "They're gonna study them the best they can before neutralizing them. He uh...oh."

Dib quieted, reading the last few lines again. "He wants to know if we want to go look at them before they do. Tonight."

More quiet clinks as Zim set down the test tubes he was messing with. Dib turned in his chair to look at the irken. The moonlight outside made him look incredibly alien.

Zim tapped his bare claws on the counter before he threw his hands in the air. "Well, it's your stupid birthday. What do you want to do?"

Dib blinked and felt a grin rise to his face. "Let's go."


They snuck out through a back door, leaving presents unopened and cake uneaten. Dib knew he'd probably get in trouble later. They'd want him to make a speech, to mingle some more. To pretend to be someone he wasn't for the sake of his father's empire.

But, standing with Zim in their fancy clothes, examining and discussing disturbing dangerous cryptid hybrids was the best birthday he ever had.