Deadpool Star Wars IV A New Ship

Chapter 2

Reviews:

Hero of the Multiverse: We had to kill Han. He shot first AND we've got plans.

Drift219: Wait and see for that.

Deadpool on July 17th: Really? Really Wade? That's disturbing.

Deadpool on July 20th: Dang it Wade...We've got you girls set out.

Wade and Tali were at the controls, they were heading to Tatooine and into the power vacuum that would cause a planetary gang-war. "Okay...know I've seen Han and the others fly this type of thing a million times...And...HERE!" Wade pushed a button and they arrived back at the Outer Rim planet.

"Are...are we here?" Tali asked

"Can you see OTHER planets around here?" Wade asked

"N-No...Sir." Tali cowered lightly

"Hey, hey...Easy with the "Sir" stuff, we're equal partners...Call me "Captain Wade McMegaLover Deadpool Wilson"...Or either Wade or Deadpool." Wade answered

"... What is with that name?" She asked

"Which one? I've got a TONNE of different names." Wade answered

"The one you told me to call you." She pointed out

"Captain McMegaLover or Deadpool?" Wade asked as he scratched his head.

"The Captain one!" She snapped

"Oh THAT...Err...well...I've err...Hey, look we're heading for the landing bay." Wade answered pointing to the ground

"Wade, PLEASE tell me WHY you called yourself "Captain McMegaLover"!" Tali asked

"Okay...okay...Let's just say: I've been a great lover to many a woman." Wade answered

Tali was just silent... And blushed

"Well, we've got to head down there. We're gonna get some HELLA loot." Wade smiled "Really? Is-is "hella" even a WORD anymore?"

*With the writers*

"Hey, Wade; Life is Strange brought it back. Don't knock the game, it's awesome." Ghost answered

"Plus Hella is slang for hell of." Grey added

"So it's a good thing, right?" Luna asked

"Yes it is." Catherine nodded

*With Wade*

"Well, let's go and get some loot. You coming Tali?" Wade asked

"Y-Yes Captain." Tali smiled as she picked up her blaster

"Now, since my own katana were destroyed...Does that mean I get Lightsabers?" Wade asked

"I'm not sure...But what's a katana?" Tali asked

"And what's a Lightsabre?" She added

"A katanna is an awesome blade! ... But mine where trashed." Wade pouted as he and Tali entered the cantina

"And you think...there's going to be one here?" Tali asked

"Well, one can hope." Wade smiled "Stay close, I know the sorts of people who haunt here."

She nodded with a slightly nervous smile

As they walked through they saw various species and humans who were drinking and conversing while listening to the musicians who weren't playing the same song in Mos Eisley. "At least you guys gave us a variation of music." Wade whispered as they waded through the people

"What are we doing here?" Tali asked

"Information and looting pockets. No better place to become a smuggler/thief than a cantina." Wade answered

"Plus we arrived before an alternate Episode 4 so Obi-Wan and Lukey-boy should be arriving soon." He added

"Huh?" Tali asked tilting her head

"Don't worry; alright?" Wade reassured her "Just try and pickpocket without getting caught."

"I-I'll try." Tali nodded

"You can do it." He smiled

"Okay." Tali nodded and tried to pickpocket some people a few people over.

Wade smirked, swiping a laser gun from a random person as he watched his new friend work

'That girl has a future...I wonder how Bob's doing?' Wade smiled then thought

*With Bob*

"You've just won $1 BILLION DOLLARS!" a Lottery announcer spoke

"WOO!" Bob, Agent of HYDRA cheered as he held his winning ticket

*With Wade*

"Probably fine." He shrugged

"Sir... Look." Tali smiled, showing him five wallets

"NICE. Let's see what you got." Wade examined the contents and saw a few credits. "Okay...what's the conversion rate on these things?"

"What do you mean? The whole galaxy uses these." She frowned

*With the writers*

"Err...well from what I remember £1 is equal to 500 Credits." Ghost answered

"You sure?" Grey asked "Well if that's true he has about... 650000 credits so about... £1300."

*With Wade*

"Awesome! Good work Tali; now let's get some stuff." Wade smiled

Unknown to them the majority of the money belonged to a Mandalorian, who's wallet Tali lifted, was glaring at them intently. And it followed, maintaining a distance.

Wade wrapped an arm around his 'partners' shoulder, whistling happily

'Target acquired...' The Mandalorian thought darkly as it followed

The two walked outside, basking in the sunlight... Before Wade span around and, using his stolen blaster, shot the Mandalorian in the chest

"ARGH!" The Mandalorian groaned in a disguised voice and shot back with its own blaster, just edging Tali's head-tails.

"Stay back." Wade instructed Tali as he didn't want her hurt.

He took her blaster and pushed her behind some crates, running towards the guy while blasting both guns as fast as he could. They weren't as good as his machine guns but those seemed to have no effect. Plus he was out of ammo. 'Wish Rocket was here to super upgrade my machine guns into OP laser blasting things of death.' Wade thought as he took the laser blasts from the assassin like they where nothing, healing after each blast ripped through his body

"What? That...That's impossible! You're filled with holes! You should be dead!" the Mandalorian snarled as she activated her flame thrower.

"Whoa! Hot, hot!" Wade commented "And I'm not talking about the flames." He flirted

"What're you talking about? I'm a bounty hunter! THIS is all that's hot!" The Mandalorian spoke now floating in the air hoping to get some distance between it and Wade and get an aerial advantage.

"... You don't get flirting, do you babe." Wade facepalmed

"Flirting isn't part of my repertoire." the woman answered and shot some rounds off

Wade rolled his eyes, dodging "No flirting? Oh you are missing out babe!" He smirked, shooting her helmet off

"Gah!" the Mandalorian woman landed on the ground, disoriented and beaten. She seemed to be about 20, short black hair, with cyborg enhancements over her left eye, dark skinned that seemed only lightened from the smoke etch around her eyes and nose.

"Whoa... Hubba hubba." He muttered

"If...If you're going to kill me...Do it quick...!" She panted heavily

"Whoa, whoa, whoa...No-one's killing anyone." Wade answered

"What?" She asked, shocked

"I'm not gonna kill ya." Wade repeated "I only attacked ya cause you attacked first. Name's Wade; what's yours?"

"... M... My name's Liara." She gulped

"Nice to meet ya." Wade extended his hand to get her up.

She took his hand and he helped her up

"So...Why were you tailing us?" Wade asked

"Your little friend there stole my wallet." Liara answered

"... I told her to." He flinched

"Grr...Novices." Liara groaned "You have a ship?"

"Err...Yeah, why'd you ask?" Tali asked

"Cause I'm coming along, you need to be a bit sneakier when lifting cash." Liara answered

"Okay, fine. We are currently waiting for an old man, a blonde teen, a good droid and an R2 unit. They'll be wanting a ship." Wade replied

"...Kind of an obscure limit, but okay. And speaking of droids, I've got this droid with me; she needs a good master/mistress." Liara added

"Okay?" Wade shrugged "And the ships big."

"Great, I'll go get her." Liara answered

"Well...we've gotten another member for the ship." Tali spoke kindly.

"Yep...Listen: you help Liara to the ship and get the droid uploaded and whatever. I'll meet you back in the cantina and wait for our next payday." Wade ordered kindly

"Okay." Tali nodded

Wade headed into the cantina while Tali followed Liara to get her droid.

Wade slumped down into one of the sectioned tables where he ordered, what seemed to be, alcohol. Luckily for him, his healing factor prevented him from drunk driving...try as he might.

And that was when the ones he was looking for arrived

'Right on time.' Wade smiled as he downed his alcohol.

One was a dirty blonde haired young adult man with blue eyes and white garb and a black belt. Another was an elderly man, white haired and with a white beard wearing a hermit brown robe. They aimed for the main bar where a pig faced man started harassing the young man.

Looking around Wade saw the big eyed alien. Greedo.

"Oh yeah...No Han, no "Han shot first"...There is a problem..." Wade pondered to himself.

"You there." Greedo spoke in the direction of Wade and walked towards him.

"Who? ME? Why're you talking to me?" Wade asked as he was being held at gun point by the alien.

"Rumour has it, YOU offed Solo. There's a price on your head." Greedo spoke maintaining his gun at chest height.

"I...dunno what to tell ya. You must have the wrong guy." Wade tried to talk his way out of it.

"Nah-nah-no...I got word from Hutta, you're the pretty boy who choked Rungra. Stole a red and black YT-1300...Ballsy...to say the least." Greedo answered

"Well, nothing else I can say." Wade sighed, shooting Greedo in the face

"That's taken care of...Hey barkeep, this guy's had one too many." Wade pointed to Greedo's smouldering corpse.

"ARGH!" a horrible scream was heard, it was one of the aliens who was hanging around pig-face. One of his favourite appendages was hacked off by a glowing blue lightsaber.

As Greedo's body was hauled off the old and young man approached Wade as they thought he was the most competent...and only one who didn't look like he was going to kill them.

"Hey Benny, Lukey boy!" He smiled

"I take it you know us." Ben Kenobi spoke as he sat down

"But, who're you?" Luke spoke as respectfully as he could slipping into a seat.

"Wade Wilson: pilot, mercenary and good with guns; at your service." Wade answered "You want to hire me to save the space princess? I'm game." he smiled

"How could you possibly know that? We've only received notice ourselves." Ben spoke

"I...Have a friend of a friend, who knows a guy." Wade smiled "You need a ship, I'm your man. Along with my crew."

He stood up and patted Luke's shoulder "You're gonna be a great guy one day kid. Hey Benny, how do I get Lightsabers?" He asked

"One doesn't simply "get" a lightsaber, you must have the heart for it." Ben answered "And don't call me "Benny"...Please."

"And yet bad guys have them to Benny." Wade shrugged

"How do you know so much about them? The Jedi and such." Luke asked

"I've watched the movies, played a lot of games... And one of the writers is a massive Star Wars nerd." Wade shrugged as he walked towards his ship, the two Jedi and the droids following

"Movies? Games?"the two asked each other as they followed

*Somewhere else*

"Sir, we haven't found the droids." a female sounding Storm Trooper spoke to her commanding officer

"Damn it. But what about those who went through the cantina? I want you to tail them." the officer ordered

"Yes Sir!" The female Storm Trooper answered

*back at the... *cough cough*... Pussy waggon.*

"This is your droid?" Tali asked Liara in confusion at the droid. It looked more humanoid than C-3PO, she almost looked like Jocasta.

"Yeah...Picked her up from a trader's route. Thought she'd make a bit of money...But, she's a good listener." Liara answered

"I see." Tali nodded

"Ms Liara, who may I ask is this?" the droid asked

"This is Tali, she's co-pilot of this ship." Liara answered "Tali, this is: Xara."

"Nice to meet you Xara." Tali nodded "What's your protocol system?"

"Secondary priority: human-cyborg relations; primary functions: ship maintenance, maintenance of owner's health, living arrangements and physical engagements." Xara answered

"... Simpler terms please?" The former slave asked

"I help create relations between different species, that is my secondary function. My primary function translates to: being a maid and a sexual partner." Xara answered

Tali blushed at that before...

"Oooooh baby! That sounds awesome!" Wade grinned as he walked up to them

"Gah! C-Captain..." Tali jumped into her seat

"Luke, R2, Benny, 3PO; this is my crew, Tali, Liara and Xara." Wade smiled introducing them to each other. "And helloooooo Xara. I think you and I will get along GREAT." He smirked

"Hello Sir." Xara answered kindly

"So, can you get us to Alderaan?" Ben asked

"Yeah I can but...Can't." Wade answered

"Why not?" Ben asked

"It's blown up." Wade answered

"What can blow up a planet?" Luke asked

"You'll find out." Wade shrugged, getting into the pilot's chair

"Hold onto your butts." Wade spoke as they began to levitate from the ground and flew into deep space.

To be continued

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