Chapter Twenty-Two
Intensity

Hermione slept in the headmaster's office that night and the one after that. The lounge transfigured into a bed with a partition around it was genuinely comfortable. At first it was nerve-wracking to have the portraits around the room watching her curiously, but as Dumbledore's said, they had seen much stranger things and had more interesting things to do.

The greatest comfort was knowing that Minerva was only a room away while they slept, Hermione lying on her side facing the bedroom. Despite the Potion for Dreamless Sleep, she was still afraid of falling asleep and at the same time wanted nothing more than to disappear into a state of nothingness.

During the day she studied. Hard. During her time spent in the Room of Requirements she had fallen behind in almost all of her classes. If it wasn't for Ginny's extraordinary patience and reminders to take a break every now and then, Hermione didn't think she would have gotten anything done.

It was taxing both mentally and emotionally. Every error she made felt dire, every comment from her friend sounded like it had a hidden meaning, and she knew how ridiculous she was being. Her thoughts swung from having to perfect everything to thinking it didn't matter anyway and she didn't know how to explain that to her study partner.

-/-

On Sunday it was after seven thirty when the Headmistress came through the doorway. Hermione barely acknowledged it except for a sigh. She had been sitting with her arms curled around her knees on one side of the couch, a book not so much 'abandoned' as 'thrown violently on the floor'. Like it continued to do, her mind had been circling every interaction she'd had that day, picking at the social errors. To pull away from that, she had tried studying only to become frustrated enough to pitch the book away from her.

Minerva observed the girl's position as she dropped off some texts on her desk.

"Are you okay, my darling?"

Hermione shifted. The question was ridiculous. Of course she wasn't okay. She was going to fail her assignments, fail her NEWTs, drop out of school and her friends were dropping one by one. Her tombstone would be engraved with 'The Girl Who Knew Harry Potter'.

"I'm coping." She had been smiling all day for Ginny and couldn't manage any more, so she continued to glare at the book on the rug in front of the fireplace.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Minerva was coming towards her, tucking her wand into her bun. There was no pity in her voice, no fake concern.

Hermione watched as the woman picked up the book and put it on a side table. Her thoughts had quieted with the presence of the other woman.

"Just sit with me awhile?"

Removing her pointed hat and outer cloak, McGonagall took up a seat beside Hermione. Hermione was curled with her knees to her chest to avoid touching the headmistress in any unwanted way, but Minerva reached for one of her student's hands and delicately drew her closer. Giving in without a fight, Hermione moved closer until she could lay her head on the Headmistress' lap. It was intimate, but felt completely natural. She sighed as she relaxed and Minerva smiled down.

"I didn't see you at dinner tonight." Her voice was soft, almost a murmur.

"I wasn't feeling up to it."

"Have you eaten?"

"Yes."

One of Minerva's pale hands ran through Hermione's curly hair. It was something that reminded the girl of what her dad used to do when her mum was stressed. She relaxed a little.

"Why don't you tell me about your weekend?"

Lulled by the security, Hermione did. The letters, the library, the lake. Some things were hard to talk about, like how looking over the balcony of the owlery made her want to jump, or how people kept mentioning her smiling. She did mention that Ron had been spreading rumours, but avoided telling her what Ginny had said about their relationship.

While she talked, her eyes slowly closed. Her voice was detached but her chest felt warm where usually there was just emptiness. When she did look up, Minerva's eyes were peering over her glass with such intensity it made Hermione blush and they turned away at the same time. She had been talking for some time and in an instant she became completely aware of how the portraits watched them and how inappropriate this must seem.

"I'm sorry, you probably have a lot of work to do." Hermione sat up quickly, swinging her legs over the side of the sofa.

Minerva retracted her hands too, holding them flat against her chest. "Hermione, I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I know I crossed a line before, so if I ever do anything that makes you feel that way – even the slightest thing – I want you to tell me."

Stunned, Hermione stood, trying to compose herself. Her face became a whirl of expressions as she tried to put her words in order. "I would. I mean, I will. I mean… you… you haven't done anything wrong. I like it when it's like this. It's not uncomfortable. It's like… it feels like home."

The two witches continued to watch each other in silence until Minerva nodded and rose, taking some papers from her desk.

"Hermione, your trust means the world to me. I don't want to do anything to lose it again." She gave a tight-lipped smile and a nod before clearing her throat. "Wake me if you anything," she said before shutting the door.

Hermione was still standing by the lounge, her eyes trained on the closed door. Any negative thoughts had been pushed aside by those words and even as she transfigured the seat into a bed and summoned partitions, she could still summon the soothing scent of the other woman (parchment, cat fur, and cinnamon) and imagine that gaze so passionately caring. No one had ever looked at her like that before.

A/N: (Cue Backstreet Boys' "Everybody"/"Backstreet's Back")

Holy Ravioli that was a long wait for a short bloody chapter. I'm very sorry for the unexpected hiatus. I've had a dreadful year about as bad as Hermione's (minus the attractive older love interest). For NaNoWriMo I'm going to try and write 50,000 words for this story so updates should become regular again. Fun fact: I wrote the two following chapters before this one because I didn't know how to get back into the swing of things.

Also, I'm considering editting/rewriting the first few chapters so that they mesh better with the later ones as well as to correct grammar/factual/continuity errors.