Joker looked around the yard, he was patiently waiting for Elissa to make her appearance though he was still having doubts about whether or not Liara had been able to change their exercise hours to lining up. When Kasumi had told him three days ago that Liara had hacked the prison's time schedule and changed the times of three of their exercise hours that week, he had wanted to believe that he would see Elissa but decided that he would not fully trust what Liara had done until he saw Elissa. He heard the door behind him open and his heart beat faster, the footsteps that were moving towards him sounded familiar though he did not want to look around and be disappointed if it turned out to just be his imagination playing tricks on him. Then he felt two arms wrap around his shoulders and neck from behind, gently embracing him and he felt a wave of relief wash over him, he knew she was there and that Liara had come through.
He placed his hands on her arms and looked up at her, "I missed you, Ellie."
Elissa looked down at him and smiled through the tears, "I missed you, too, Jeff." She leaned down and pressed her forehead against his, despite the odd angle, it felt so reassuring to finally be able to touch him after being separated for nearly a month.
"Why don't you sit next to me?" asked Joker, patting the spot next to him on the bench he had been sitting on while waiting for her, and she pulled herself away from him then sat down where he had indicated.
"How've you been? Are the guards treating you right? What about your physical—" started Elissa only to be cut off by a soft kiss from Joker, the kiss took her by surprise but she felt herself kissing him back and enjoying to pure bliss.
Joker reluctantly broke the seal a few seconds later, "Sorry, but that's the best way I've found to calm you down you were talking a mile a minute, Ellie, it had to be done."
"I know," sighed Elissa, resting her head on Joker's shoulder, "Okay, first question, are the guards treating you right?"
"For the most part," said Joker, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, "Oakley's part of my guard, God I hate that son of a bitch."
Elissa chuckled quietly, "Steve could definitely do a lot better."
"What about you?" asked Joker, pulling her closer, "Anything happen that Kasumi hasn't told me about? Guards trying to beat the crap out of you, anything?"
"Kaidan stopped by," said Elissa bitterly, and she felt Joker tense up, "he told me some things I think I could have gone the rest of my life not knowing."
"You going to tell me?" asked Joker, looking at her.
"He only wanted to be with me to gain status," said Elissa, "that's all I was to him, a symbol of power and prestige, he didn't even really love me, he loved Rahna."
"Who's that?" asked Joker, never having heard the story of Kaidan and Rahna.
"A girl Kaidan was in love with when he was at some biotics training program as a teenager," said Elissa, giving Joker the short version, "Anyway, apparently the doctor he told me he went out with when I died turned out to be her and they were going to get married since she was pregnant. The baby died and then they broke up, he ran away to Horizon and we all know where it went from there."
"He told you all that?" asked Joker, angry that Kaidan had decided to kick her while she was down, "What was the point?"
"He wanted me to know," said Elissa, sitting up, "I think I could have gone an Asari lifetime without knowing any of that."
"Damn, Elissa," said Joker, not really knowing what to say to her, "I'm so sorry."
"I'll be fine," said Elissa, firmly, "Just makes me think whether or not I'll actually find someone who'll love me for me and not what I've done or what my rank is."
Joker was pissed, he could not believe what he was hearing, after all that had happened she still thought of him as nothing more than a friend, "For Christ's sake, Elissa, what about us?!"
"What do you mean 'us'?" asked Elissa, surprised and startled.
"What did it mean to you when we kissed, that I was just some kind of comfort, that I wasn't really worth anything to you?!" exclaimed Joker, standing up, his body shaking with rage.
"Jeff, please—" started Elissa, tears brimming in her eyes, she could see the pain in his face and it crushed her that she had been so stupid and hurt him.
"No, Shepard!" shouted Joker, "Believe it or not, you're worth the whole fucking galaxy to me! You don't think that's true, here look at this!" He yanked his dog tags off and threw them at her, then he stormed off, not even caring that they still had forty-five minutes left to talk he just wanted to be away from her.
Elissa watched him go, she wanted to chase after him but she seemed to be glued to the bench, the dog tags still clutched in her hands and she looked down at them only after he had gone back into the prison. She carefully moved them from hand to hand, not really reading anything she saw on the pieces of metal until her name caught her eye, looking more closely she realized that this was one of her old dog tags there were small chips all around the edges but the information was still intact:
Shepard
Elissa J.
04-11-2154
A Neg
Nondenominational
She stifled a sob, she had had no idea that Joker was carrying this around with him, she felt horrible that she had said what she did to him, since having this proved he really did care about her. Elissa wanted to ask Joker why he had her tag and how he got it in the first place, but first there was something she had to do first, she had to find someway to apologize to him and explain why she was acting the way she was. Quickly she pulled off her own dog tags and removed one of Joker's from his chain putting it with her own set, 'There, that's much better,' thought Elissa as she put her dog tags back on, hiding them under her shirt. Then she jumped up and ran inside the prison, hoping to make it to see Joker before the guards came back to put her in her cell again, luckily his cell was not too far from the door that led to the outside yard and she managed to get there with very little difficulty.
Looking in through the small window on the door, she saw Joker laying on his bed, cap over his eyes and she quietly opened the door being very careful to not disturb him and she crept over to his bed, sitting down on the end. Elissa was not sure how he would react when he saw her, she expected more angry outbursts and she knew she deserved every single one of them since she had deeply hurt him with what she said. She looked at the clock, they had a little more than half an hour before she would be forced back to her own cell, she knew she had to make the best of these few minutes and waiting for him to wake up was not something she planned to do right now.
"Jeff, Jeff," said Elissa, gently shaking his leg, "wake up, Jeff, I need to talk to you."
Joker looked out from under the bill of his cap, he could see her sitting there but he really did not want to talk at the moment, so he just laid there pretending to be asleep.
"I know you're not really sleeping, Jeff," said Elissa, slightly annoyed, "Should I kiss you to wake you up?"
"Not necessary, Commander," said Joker, putting his cap back on his head, then sitting up careful not to hit her with his legs as he switched positions.
"Jeff," said Elissa, putting her hand on his shoulder, half expecting him to shrug her off, she was grateful though when he let her hand stay there, "I wanted to ask you, how did you get my dog tag?"
"Liara gave it to me," said Joker quietly, "After you died, I begged her to find me anything that was yours, I thought if I had something of yours I would be able to get over my grief. It wasn't until months later when you were being rebuilt by Cerberus that she even found your tags, then she gave one to me and I've worn it with mine ever since."
"I guess you also answered my question of why you had one in the first place," said Elissa, handing him his tags back.
"That was only part the reason," admitted Joker, putting his tags back on, "I also wanted to have something to remember you by, I know, they say someone always lives on in your memories but I wanted something a little more tangible. I was so jealous of Kaidan I mean he at least had a picture of you, and I wanted something to remember you too, anything at all, I would have even settled for a piece of your scorched armor." His voice became thick with emotion, he tried not to think about the years after Elissa had died, they were way too painful to relive.
Elissa wrapped her arms around him, she had been aware that her death had hit everyone pretty hard but seeing what lengths Joker had gone to just to keep her memory alive was just astounding since she had doubted for a very long time that he cared for her as much as he really did.
"Jeff, I had no idea," said Elissa, still holding him close, "Why didn't you tell me about all of this, about the tags, about any of it?"
"I didn't think it would matter since you're now alive," said Joker his arm now snaking around her waist, "Ellie, the day you woke up was the day I decided everything would go back to normal. I tried my best to not bring up the past, I wanted you to move on and live life, not keep dwelling on what had happened. I thought that was my penance for killing you in the first place, to make you feel as if nothing had changed."
"Jeff, you didn't kill me," said Elissa seriously, pulling his face up so she could look at him, "I was doing my job and you were doing yours, you saved our crew by staying where you were, giving them enough time to get into the escape pods. I don't ever want to hear you blame yourself for my death again, if I do, there will be severe repercussions."
"And what would those be, Commander?" asked Joker, smirking at her.
"Lets just say it involves whipped cream, cherries, and your chair," said Elissa, her eyes gleaming wickedly as she watched Joker turn red and she could tell that all thought had disappeared clean from his head. She giggled as he laid back down, covering his face and groaning behind his hands and she laid down next to him, wrapping her arm around his torso.
"Ellie, I know that we'll have to have a serious talk, but can that wait until tomorrow?" asked Joker as he wrapped his arms around her, "I kind of just want this moment to last as long as it can, then if you reject me, I'll have this to look back on so I win in either circumstance."
Elissa rolled her eyes playfully, "Sure, Jeff, I just hope the guards don't mind seeing us in this position they might not let us see each other."
"Then I would have to bust out of here," said Joker holding her tighter, "because I don't want to be separated from you again as long as I can help it."
Elissa smiled as she felt the desire to sleep overcome her, though she knew that they would have to talk about what their feelings were and how they wanted to proceed which could go badly, she slept soundly for the first time since her arrival to the prison happy that she was in the comfort of someone she trusted with her very life.
Elissa waited next to the door that led to the exercise yard, she was both excited and a little apprehensive about seeing Joker, it had been two days since they had last seen each other and they had not had a chance to talk since then though they had used Kasumi once to send a message to the other. She saw Joker coming out of his cell and felt her heart leap in her chest, even with just the short month of physical therapy his posture had improved and even his limp was better.
"Hey, Ellie," said Joker as the guard unlocked the door and allowed them into the yard, he took her by the hand and led her out of the prison and into the freshly recycled air.
"I hate this being a part bull," sighed Elissa as they sat down on the bench, still holding hands.
"I know how you feel, you'd think we were planning an escape," said Joker smirking.
"Maybe we should, at least we'd have something to do," said Elissa, looking up at the shuttles that drove by overhead.
They sat on the bench in peace, watching the shuttles fly over, Joker pointing out the mistakes the various drivers were making eliciting the occasional laugh from Elissa and she would ask him how to avoid making those mistakes in the future. Both seemed nervous to start the inevitable conversation, they knew it was going to have to happen sooner or later, so Joker cleared his throat prepared to take the leap, "So, Ellie, have you given any thought to maybe being more than just friends?"
Elissa looked at him, his eyes green in the light, "I've actually been thinking about it longer than just two days, Jeff, I've been thinking about it for nearly three years."
Joker's eyes widened, he was surprised to hear that she had thought of being with him since they had started working together on the Normandy, he was also upset that she had not acted on her feelings, "Why'd you wait so freaking long, Ellie?"
"Well, you stated several times that dating crew members wasn't your thing," said Elissa in a slightly defensive tone, "and I didn't want to put you in an uncomfortable position."
"Elissa," said Joker, cupping her cheek, trying not to focus too much on how soft and warm her skin was, "There were two reasons why I said what I did, one, because of you and Kaidan, two because I didn't want you to think I was like all of the other guys on our crew who were all lusting after you."
"Jeff, I never could see you that way," said Elissa, gently pressing her forehead against his, "I have a great deal more respect for you than I have for most people and it would take a great deal of crap to happen for my perception of you to be tarnished."
"So, about what's been going on," said Joker, suddenly getting very nervous, moving his head away from hers, "What are we exactly? I mean, I know you've been a serious relationship, albeit with a jackass, but are you looking for another one or are you looking for something else? Have you thought everything through, do you need more time or—"
Elissa softly kissed him, silencing him like he had done to her, then she released her claim on his lips, "Sorry, Jeff, but you were talking a mile a minute, I had to do something. To answer your questions, yes, I have thought about this quite a bit actually. I care about you a great deal, not only are you my pilot but you are my best friend and I want you to know that the last thing I want to do is hurt you . . . " She saw him close his eyes, she worried that he had taken that the wrong way so she quickly continued, "I want to see how this turns out, having you in my life has been the best thing to ever happen, and I don't want this to be something casual or something we're doing just to not be alone."
Joker relaxed, not wanting to believe his own luck, that she actually wanted to have him around and not as something temporary in her life, "Elissa, the last thing I want in this lifetime is to lose you for a second time, through death or to another man. I'm yours, Elissa, as long as you want me and even when you don't."
Elissa smiled, in this moment right now she thought of nothing but being with him, she did not think of the prison cells or the fact they only had an hour every few days to talk with each other none of that mattered to her only he did.
"How do you suggest we make this official?" asked Joker, playing with a few loose strands of her hair, he was not being serious but thought it was appropriate to say.
"I kind of already have," said Elissa, pulling her dog tags from underneath her shirt, showing him that she had taken one of his and put it with hers.
"Wow, Ellie," said Joker, looking at her addition to her chain, "You know I wasn't being serious at all about finding a way to make us official?"
"I know, I just couldn't resist," said Elissa brightly, as she put her dog tags back into her shirt, looking at him, getting lost in his gorgeous eyes.
'God, if this is a dream, don't let me wake up,' thought Joker, leaning in closer to Elissa, the space between their lips getting smaller until he claimed her lips in a tender embrace. He felt himself filled with the blissful euphoria, forgetting everything else except how Elissa's lips felt against his, the taste of her mouth as his tongue slid in, the way their tongues danced together.
"Shepard! Moreau!" shouted a familiar voice, causing them to jump apart, Joker looked around wildly and saw Armando Bailey standing on the other side of the yard, a serious look on his face.
"What do you think he wants?" asked Joker as they stood and started walking towards Bailey, her hand gripped in his.
"There's only one way to find out," said Elissa and they met him at the door and he indicated to them to follow him to the side of the yard, away from the door.
"Is there something you need, Bailey?" asked Elissa in hushed tone.
"No, Shepard," said Bailey, throwing Edward a look that told him to stay back, "I've received a message from Admiral Hackett, neither of you is safe here, we're busting you out."
