Quinday, Jaufre 24th 067.M42

I heard from one of my neighbours today that we managed to raise enough money through the Shrine collection to provide extra for those poor orphans for at least a month. We caught the lift up to our floor together, I held the doors for her because she had her arms full of bags of groceries, she smiled and said thanks but then said she had so many bags because she was making dinner for her boyfriend. I didn't know she had a boyfriend, but… I wasn't really wondering. I suppose she was concerned that I was being friendly for selfish reasons, which upsets me. I should hope I never give that impression.

But her news put my heart a little more at ease. I was wondering if I should have put more in myself, but I'd already committed to doubling my weekly tithe before the collection came around, and that leaves little of my extra scrip available for, well, anything.

I should like to take some time during my extra furlough during Devotional to go to the Spire and see the Grand Cathedral, and to be able to afford that I will need to put away what extra scrip I can. Though again, I find myself wondering. Is it selfish to want to hoard that scrip, to put it away for the purposes of taking myself up to see the more lavish Cathedral of the Emperor, and perhaps in that time to spend a night or two in a nice accommodation in the Spire? After all, that scrip could be better served - being collected for the Orphans, going to the homeless kitchen that the Father runs, being donated to others with more need than I. I have a home, I have clothes and food and a link to the Feed, a new dataslate and a job that furnishes it all. I could do more with my blessings.

But then it's never said anywhere that He wants us to make ourselves destitute for those around. We should help one another, we should ensure that we tithe well to the Ecclesiarchy and we should live within modest means for our station in life - but Father Rainaud has never spoken a lesson in my hearing that requires us to give everything. And surely a trip to the grandest of His places of worship in Minos is a conceit worth saving for? I would like to go to praise Him in the very seat of His followers on this world, the original Cathedral set up by our Lord Jaufre Bernault, father of Asphodel. I've heard much of the frescoes and glasswork, the Cathedral is said to be a marvel of our world. And a chance to sing His chorus in those hallowed halls is yet another blessing in my small, insignificant life.

I would like to think I have the balance right. But it never hurts to look at one's motivations and reasoning. Complacency is the weapon of the Enemy, and we should be ever vigilant for our own failings.

Thought for the Day: Holiness is a constant battle, for it takes much less effort to fall than it does to ascend.