The Burrow Part One
Day One
"Hermione… earth to Hermione!" Ginny snapped her fingers in front of the older girl's face, surprising her into wakefulness. "I swear, you've been spacier than Luna ever since you sat down. No offence, Luna."
"Huh?"
Hermione forced herself to smile at her friends, one rolling her eyes at the other. Outside the window she could see Platform and three quarters already filling up with bodies.
"When did we get here?"
"About a minute ago."
Ginny was pulling cases down from the racks and Luna was bouncing in the entrance, clearly excited to be going home. She jangled from all the jewellery she had received at her going away party.
Still dazed, Hermione feigned presence, taking her things and trundling them off while Ginny and Luna chatted excitedly about their plans. The younger girl wouldn't be returning with them in a week. Realising she had missed out on important time with her friend she felt a rush of sadness so when they were all standing on solid ground she pulled Luna into a tight hug.
"Geez, Hermione, let her breathe."
"Sorry. Sorry. I just can't believe you won't be there next semester."
Luna smiled. "It'll be okay. I'm going to help my dad and then I'm going to visit you both and then I'm going to find a Crumple-Horned Snorkack and prove they're real."
"I'm sure you will."
"Usually that's when you tell me there's no such thing."
Hermione shrugged. She wasn't feeling up to it.
Ginny pulled on Hermione's jumper and pointed into the crowd. She turned and immediately spotted Ron's red hair, Harry leading him as they elbowed through the masses. Ginny nearly pushed Harry over with the force of her hug but he wrapped both arms around her and they kissed deeply. Hermione couldn't look at them. She pressed her lips together and turned aside. She didn't want to think about kissing. She didn't want to think about Minerva.
"Hey."
"Ron!" Luna squealed, "There's something on your face!"
Hermione looked at him and snorted. He had self-consciously brought his hand up to touch the rough beard growing out.
"Thanks, Luna," he mumbled before looking over his shoulder. "They've stopped snogging now."
Hermione looked up at him. She really had to look up. It still surprised her how tall he was.
"Are your parents here?"
"Yeah, they're waiting outside with a car. It doesn't fly."
He grinned at his joke but it dropped away as quick as it had appeared. He looked better than the last time she had seen him, but his pallor still emphasised dark rings around his eyes, evidence of long periods of sleepless nights.
Small talk was difficult but they found some unused trolleys and loaded them up, filling each other on their lives. Luna went with them, although she was meant to take another train and had to leave them at the gates. There was a lot of hugging and some tears before she finally parted.
The car was from Arthur's work and fitted everyone inside perfectly. Hermione made herself answer and ask questions, talking to keep her mind busy. She specifically didn't want to wonder what Minerva had meant by 'we need time apart'. All she knew was it made her feel sick to think about.
Molly was thrilled to see Hermione and her hug was familiar and welcoming.
"I'm so glad to see you, dear. This going to be a busy weekend- the whole family will be coming," Mrs Weasley went on as they all clambered into the car. Bill and Fleur had already arrived, but Bill wasn't feeling well after the previous night's full moon. Charlie and his new boyfriend would be getting there in the morning. They were thinking of organising a trip to visit Fred, but the thought of going back to Hogwarts made Hermione wary.
She didn't know where to look. Harry and Ginny were snuggled up beside her while Arthur and Molly were holding hands. The way they looked at each other lovingly or with a natural caring seemed to hurt her insides. She sighed at the ridiculous reaction and looked up at Ron. He rolled his eyes and nodded in Harry and Ginny's direction. She smiled.
Bill and Fleur greeted them at the Burrow and while Ginny caught up with her eldest brother Ron took Hermione up to his room. Since everyone was coming home he'd be staying in George's room while she had his to herself. It was just like the last time she saw it, moving posters on every wall and a mess in every corner. Neither of them talked much, but it felt natural.
Percy and George returned from work late in the afternoon while everyone was settled in and the din of the full house kept Hermione's mind busy. Fleur and Bill explained to Hermione the problems they were facing at work due to their statuses as 'beasts' and Harry sat by her when it all started to feel like too much.
The last time Hermione had been at the Burrow was while Hogwarts was being rebuilt. It had been her home for a few months, a safe place where she felt loved and cared for. She had been in love. It was different now, like she no longer fit there and she knew it. It wasn't her home.
The dissonance she felt was at the front of her mind as she sat at the dinner table amongst the chaos of conversation. Every story held a piece that everyone knew but her. You remember that guy… So I talked to my boss… That idea you gave me… Whenever someone realised she didn't know they'd stop and address her directly, but it only made her feel more like an obstacle.
Molly noticed the way Hermione pushed at her food with a fork, politely nodding but barely smiling.
"We're just so happy you agreed to come, Hermione," the Weasley matriarch said, her smile making her plump cheeks plumper, "It was such a shame that you couldn't join us for Christmas, but since you and Ron have gotten back together he's been so much happier – healthier, too."
Hermione froze, lowering her fork to the plate and looking up. Arthur was nodding in agreement and she could feel everyone's eyes on her, whether or not they were actually paying attention. In her mind they all had bright, expectant faces. Her tongue was heavy in her mouth.
"Mum," Ron's voice came from beside her and she looked at him, a fleck of gravy on the side of his mouth, "we're not together. We're just friends, remember?"
"Just friends?" Molly looked disappointed for a moment before hiding it behind a smile. "Well things do change."
"They won't."
It was the first time that Hermione had heard Ron admit it out loud, and even he seemed surprised by the certainty. Their eyes met and she saw that he was telling the truth.
Everyone looked uncomfortable until Molly waved it away. "A mother can dream, though. Hermione is every mother in law's dream."
Hermione blushed.
"No offense to us, though, right," Bill said, drawing a laugh.
Everyone settled back into comfort and conversation filled the house.
Day Two
There was no rest for Minerva; her week was a holiday only in name. Her day started like any other, although she caught herself pausing at the door to her office expecting to see a sleeping woman there. Shaking it off, she carried on, seeing that Filtch and Hagrid had their list of necessities for the school to purchase, organizing the delivery of a month's worth of food, and then travelling off-campus to the Ministry to meet with the Department of Education. Her day was as full as ever with barely enough time to consume a meal from a muggle café before heading to St Mungos. By the time she got back to Hogwarts her 3pm was already waiting. She thank the wizard for his patience and took him up to her office.
Mssr Durand was replacing her as transfiguration professor on a probationary period. He wasn't her first choice, or second, and his resume was rather sparce, but as Fillius had pointed out she couldn't carry the work loads of both headmistress and professor of a mandatory subject. She'd never admit the difficulties to anyone, especially not Hermione, but it was becoming a struggle. Minerva's eyes had strayed from the warlock sitting across from her to the sofa but she forced herself to pay attention. He was exaggerating the accord he had received in Magazine Menseul Transfiguration, unaware that she subscribed to it. She was prepared to end their meeting early (he reminded her too much of a dark haired Gilderoy Lockhart), but knew she wouldn't find another teacher in just a week. Interrupting him, she took back control of their meeting. When they were finished she loaded him with class schedules, the plans she had written for the year and the notes she kept on her students' abilities. The amount of work caught him off guard and she derived an unprofessional satisfaction from it.
At last, she had the space to herself and for a moment she felt relief before her eyes fell on the couch again. It had only been a day since Hermione had left and while the large office felt lonely without her, she was glad the girl was spending the holidays amongst peers her own age. She wanted the best for her friend above all else and the week would be good for her. Anything else she felt was just… selfish.
She put the form from the St Mungo's healer in front of her. She had to inform Hermione of the chance to find a cure for her nightmares. On the other hand she wanted her to have the chance to change her mind, to realize that she could be with anyone else. McGonagall sighed and pushed the sheet aside. Turning her head slightly, she spoke to the portrait behind her.
"Sometimes I wish you were really here to tell me if I'm doing the right thing."
Just out of sight, Albus nodded sagely. "Perhaps I am just an echo of myself, but in my calculations you are doing splendidly, although you may be underestimating Ms Granger's ability to think for herself." Minerva looked back to her desk, her mouth a thin line. "By the way, there's a piece of rubbish under your desk. It's been bothering me all day."
She never dropped paper on the ground. Minerva summoned it and went to throw it out before recognizing the familiar penmanship.
o
Charlie arrived shortly after breakfast and Hermione stood with Harry and Fleur as the rest of the Weasleys rushed to greet him. After an ocean of 'how are ya's and 'long flight, mate's and demands to know where he got his newest scar, Charlie satisfied them with a short story about rescuing a Peruvian Glass Wing from an illegal poacher. An enthusiastic Molly introduced Harry and Hermione to Charlie's partner, Emillian. He was both very handsome and slightly feminine with his straight black hair worn in a long ponytail. He also seemed very reserved but Hermione knew how overwhelming the Weasleys could be in force.
The two men took their bags and brooms upstairs and the group shifted from the kitchen to the more open lounge room. George and Ginny were already talking excitedly about having a quidditch match while everyone was there. Harry and Ron were both more than enthusiastic to get back on a broom but Percy immediately rolled his eyes and tried to dodge George's headlock. Hermione lifted her feet out of the way as chaos descended on the room.
"C'mon, Perce, don't wimp out. If you don't play there'll be an odd number of players."
"Please, Perce," chimed Ginny.
Hermione counted on her fingers and tried to talk up over Ron and Harry deciding who should be captains, Fleur making sure Bill was up to the game, and Ginny and George sitting on their older brother.
"Ginny? Gin, I'll sit out with him."
Charlie and Emillian walked into the bedlam and laughed at it.
"You have to play, 'Mione, it's no fun sitting on the side!"
"Have you ever seen me ride a broom?" She didn't get a response. "There's a good reason for that."
Ron sniggered and tried to hide it.
"Huh. Fine, but you both have to referee."
Percy was climbing up off his knees and looked sour. "Fine."
Ginny and Charlie were chosen to be the captains as they were both brilliant chasers (Harry admitted his girlfriend would kick his ass with a quaffle) and the teams were chosen by each of them. Ginny had Harry, Fleur and Bill while Charlie led Ron, George and Emillian. The sorting had taken so much time that Molly made them eat before playing. The table was mostly engulfed by trash talk between brothers and sister. Hermione felt full before she began to eat. The noise and excitement made her feel smaller like she wasn't entirely there.
While the rest collected their gear from bedrooms and broomsheds, Hermione found a comfortable spot in the shade of the orchard that surrounded the field. Percy soon joined her with a couple of books and some parchment for keeping score. She had never gotten very interested in the sport and after eight years still wasn't certain of the rules, but the lanky Weasley promised to referee if she wrote down what he said. She couldn't recall ever spending time with him, her earlier Hogwarts years spent evading him while she broke the rules, but she felt comfortable sitting in silence until both teams were on the grassy meadow. Bill used magic to erect the goals at either end of the playing area and Charlie and Ginny faced off on their brooms until Percy shot off a bang to signal the start.
The game proceeded quickly, flashes of brooms zigzagging and diving after the quaffle. It hurt Hermione's neck trying to follow it, but she was impressed by the skill. Some of them surprised her. Bill, Ginny, George, and Charlie were all very aggressive in trying to grab the ball while Emillian used his broom to block the other team. Ron and Fleur both kept the goals and though he was much better at knocking the quaffle with his broom, she was adept at simply catching it and sending it back. Harry was by far the fastest on his professional broom, but he seemed to lack the ability to toss the cumbersome ball to his team mates without it being intercepted.
She wrote when Percy instructed her to, but goals were few and far between with the equally matched opponents. Stretching, she leaned back and glanced at Percy's books. They were both thick documents with lengthy titles that included the word Portkey. Hermione remembered the Christmas gift Minerva had given her, though its whereabouts were unknown to her.
"Are Portkeys safe to use internationally?" she asked when her thoughts started to wander to her friend.
Percy looked sideways at her and she could tell he was surprised she was talking to him at all.
"Compared to other forms of transportations they're the safest… So long as they're acquired through the Ministry, that is. If you're planning on making your own or buying them on the black market it's as safe as drinking nightshade tea. Why?"
"I'm using one to go to Australian after school finishes."
Percy was watching the game again, but still spoke, "That's where your parents are?"
Hermione nodded. The mention of them made her throat fill with regret- the topic wasn't a smart one. "Minerva said the Australian Bureau can help me find them, but if Voldemort couldn't find them I doubt I will."
She tried to focus on the game but the acidic swirling in her stomach had her feel too sick to concentrate.
"He was never going to expend that much energy looking for a pair of muggles. None of the ministries would." Percy's voice was low as if he was worried the others would hear him admit he worked in the corrupted ministry. Hermione didn't care about that. She just cared about what he meant.
"I did all that for nothing?"
Percy shook his head. "You did the right thing, he looked for them, but not very hard."
"So you think I'll find them?"
He thinned his mouth and called a foul. "You will if you work for it. Don't rely on the Bureau, they won't care about a couple of muggles." After a moment he added, "Sorry."
Hermione was quiet. She couldn't believe that after all they had fought for the world was still so wrong. "This is why I never wanted to work for the Ministry. It's fine for some purebloods, but for people like me it's unjust."
She started to stand up, intent on leaving Percy to his government work and the stupid wizarding sport, but his voice slowed her step.
"How do you think anything will change if the good people like you don't change it? The Ministry doesn't care if you work there or not, but if you don't another pureblood like me will and we'll keep on following the rules because we don't have reason to question them."
"OI, REF- WATCH THE BLOODY GAME! BILL JUST TACKLED HARRY!"
With an annoyed groan, Percy turned back to the field and Hermione waited for the overwhelming emotions in her chest to settle. After a breath she walked back through the long grass to the house, holding herself and wishing she could talk to Minerva.
Hermione had been trying not to think all day. She knew if she gave her mind an inch it would run amok, so she kept it busy. She spent a lot of time talking to Fleur and Bill about the state of werewolf rights and when things settled down she helped Molly prepare dinner. Afterwards she let Arthur show her his prize collection of batteries and tried to explain why the biggest ones wouldn't work with small appliances. It wasn't until she was alone and lying in Ron's room that her thoughts wormed their way back to McGonagall.
Strange as it was, it was the once comforting odour of a teenage boy. It seemed silly, but she missed Minerva's scent, fainter but more alluring. It hurt to think about the other woman. The kiss they shared had meant so much to her, but Minerva's reaction to it, the distance she had put between them, had Hermione worrying about it. Her attraction was clearly reciprocated on some level, but was it enough? She rolled onto her side and on the bed side table a photograph of her with Ron and Harry was waving at her, all of them laughing. Her heart ached.
She was about to reach for the vial of potion to keep her from dreaming but froze when she heard the floor outside of the bedroom door creak. Ron's voice swore softly. Dread came over her for a moment until she listened carefully and heard his footsteps continuing past the room. She rose and went to the door silently, pressing her ear against it. The staircase let out a low grown as Ron stepped down onto it. Half expecting the footsteps to return to where she was standing, she waited, listening but all she could hear was the moaning from the attic ghoul.
"What are you doing?" she whispered into the wood when no more sounds came.
She pulled on a sweater before pushing the door open quietly, peering into the dark hallway. There was no light from downstairs and even though she knew she should stay in her room and sleep, she was already moving out, driven in parts by concern for her friend and curiosity.
Her jumper was loose, so she hugged it closer to her body and transcended the stairs with silent ease. At the bottom of the steps it was brighter, the waning moon shining through the kitchen window. From where she stood, Hermione could see Ron's form outlined by the moonlight. He was slouched slightly, facing the window that looked out over the garden.
"Ron?" Hermione's voice was soft, but she knew he heard her because he straightened up and turned his head slightly.
Not waiting for an invitation, she walked around the table to sit opposite him. His blue eyes watched her carefully as Hermione's slid from his tense face to the unopened bottle of firewhiskey and glass that stood between them.
"Ron, why are you still up?" She asked, keeping her voice down in case Harry or Ginny heard them.
"I couldn't sleep."
From the way he held her gaze it was clear he was waiting for her to say something, to ask something. She looked at his hands which were fretting, one going for the glass and the other gripping the sleeve of his pyjamas.
"How did you do it, Hermione?" The question came out of nowhere and she didn't understand until he rephrased it. "How did you get better? After what we went through and what you've told us. How did you get out?"
His face was so open, pleading almost, and she could feel connections being made in her brain.
"I'm not out yet, Ron. Things have been getting a little bit better over the last few months, but I'm not even close to getting out."
"But you look so together. Normal."
"I do?" She still felt so broken that the idea she looked complete was incredible. There were dark rings around Ron's eyes and he was wan and thin despite the healthy amount of muscle that had grown on his arms and chest. "I suppose it's because I've had people looking out for me."
"McGonagall." When the name passed his lips both of his hands went to the bottle, about to break the seal before he looked at it and placed it further away from himself.
"Yes. She was the first but she got me to open up to the others."
"But not me." The forlorn expression lasted only a few quiet moments before he stiffened his chin. "I'm sorry, Hermione. It should have been me. I should have stood by you. Trusted you."
"Don't think about it like that, Ron. I was wrapped up in my own feelings and I couldn't see what it was doing to you. It's not your fault. It's not mine. We were just facing different problems and it drove us apart." She put her hand out over the table and he took it, stilling the other fidgeting hand. "I'd say you've changed for the better, too. What you said last night. To your mum. It showed me how much you've grown. It helped me."
"I can't believe she even brought it up. I told them not to mention it." He lapsed into silence, searching her eyes for something before giving up. "It's true, isn't it? We're finally over. Forever."
He didn't look hurt, just accepting.
"Yes, Ron." He nodded and wiped an eye.
"It wasn't bad, was it? Having me for a boyfriend, I mean."
Hermione smiled gently. "You're a perfect boyfriend and I'm sure it'll make someone very happy to be with you in that way. It just won't be me."
"Thanks, 'Mione. You're a great friend."
It felt good, finally knowing the pressure was gone. Hermione rose and started to get up but Ron was still holding her hand.
"What do I do now, Hermione?" He was staring at the bottle and she squeezed his hand.
"First, you're going to put that away then you're going to bed. And in the morning you're going to find help from someone who's been through what you're going through."
He looked up at her, his eyes glistening. "And it'll work?"
"With your Gryffindor heart and everyone who loves you by your side? I'm sure of it."
Ron let go of her hand and stood up, engulfing her in a strong hug. "Thanks."
"I'm always just an owl away."
Before she ascended the stairs, she turned to look at her ex who had lifted both the bottle and the glass and was stowing them away in a cabinet.
AN: Well, I found the strikethrough... If anyone knows how to make double spaces work I'd be thrilled to know the secret. I'm not sure I'm 100% happy with this yet but I'm entering a crisis and needed to upload on time to feel a little less bad. (Also it's weirdly hard to find the healthy balance of missing someone without it being either an unhealthy amount of pining or not caring enough.)
