"What do you think I should wear?" asked Samantha as she rummaged through a large pile of clothes that was sitting in the middle of Elissa's cabin floor.
"Definitely something with shimmer," said Kasumi, holding a mini skirt against her hips, "What do you think of this?"
"You're actually going to wear something besides your usual attire?" asked Miranda as she pulled a lacy violet dress from the pile, "I'm surprised, Kasumi."
"Hey, a girl wants to feel pretty sometimes, since when is that a crime?" commented Kasumi as she searched for a top to match the black mini skirt.
"Do you see any belts?" asked Tali, looking over Miranda's shoulder, "I want something not in black."
"Here's a green one," said Gabby, handing her a thin green belt, "Samara, is there anything you'd like me to look for?"
"No thank you, Gabby," said Samara quietly, "I'm still considering Shepard's offer of going out tonight."
"You do what you think is right," said Samantha kindly, "no one's going to force you at gun point to have fun."
"Thank you, Samantha," said Samara gently, "I might stay in and speak with Liara, she's far along enough in her pregnancy that I feel the need to pass along some advice to her, she is a very young mother by Asari standards after all."
"It's unbelievable to think that in a few weeks she'll be a mother," sighed Tali, "It'll be strange having a baby on board."
"You think it'd be wise to have a child on this vessel?" asked Miranda, examining a pair of black stilettos, "I mean we might all be family on this ship, but this is a war ship no matter who's on it, and war is no place for children and this is not a proper home for kids."
"I would have to disagree," said Samara, "A home is somewhere safe, stable, and full of people who love you. The Normandy fills all of those requirements, and while it is an active war vessel, I cannot imagine a better place for anyone to raise a child."
"What if it's attacked again?" argued Miranda, "What then?"
"Parents do almost anything to keep their children safe," replied Samara, "if the Normandy housed children, I can only imagine the fight our friends would put up in order to maintain the safety and security of the ship and the children."
"You have a point there," conceded Miranda as she picked up a silken shoulder wrap, "Okay, I'm going to change first, then—"
"What the hell is going on in here?!" demanded Elissa as she entered her cabin, "I gave you all leave to go and have fun not trash my cabin. Where'd this giant pile of clothes come from?"
"While you and Joker were out buying model ships, we were clothes shopping," said Miranda, "I'll be right out, help yourself to whatever's in the pile."
Elissa rolled her eyes as the door to her bathroom closed, "Why did you decide to use my bedroom as your changing room?"
"It has enough space for all of the clothes we bought plus extra space to lounge around while we wait for access to the bathroom," replied Kasumi as she reached for a blue top, "Aha! This matches perfectly with the skirt!"
"Whoa, what happened here?" asked Joker as he entered, his arms loaded down with small boxes, "Looks like my sister's room did before a school dance."
"We're treating ourselves for our night out, thank you very much," replied Samantha, picking out a sequined yellow top and a pair of tight grey jeans, "We bought several new outfits, some new shoes, we're using Miranda's make-up bag and styling our hair so we look our best for tonight."
"We're going clubbing at Afterlife, I don't think they care how you look," teased Joker as he placed the boxes on Elissa's desk, winking at her.
"Says you!" exclaimed Tali, "I bought some new belts for tonight to replace my other former sexy ones."
"Are you going to do your hair, Kasumi?" asked Miranda from the bathroom, "I have some pictures on how to style shorter hair."
"I like styling it my own way, thank you," said Kasumi, "Maybe you should style Tali's hair instead, she might look nice with curls and braids."
"No way," scoffed Tali, "I think you should style Gabby's hair though, Miranda."
"Are you insane?" asked Gabby as she entered with bags full of clothes, dumping them on the floor, "I like my hair the way it is."
"Wow, way too much estrogen in here," said Joker, raising his arms in surrender and backing out of the room slowly, "Ellie, if you need me for anything, I'll be downstairs at the poker table listening to lewd jokes and exchanging imaginary sex stories."
Elissa laughed, "Alright, go and immerse yourself in testosterone, I'll see you in a couple of hours."
Joker blew her a kiss before leaving her cabin to which all of the women in the room giggled, Elissa rolled her eyes again as she sat down on the couch, moving a few pairs of shoes over to the table in order to do that.
"I never thought I'd see the day when my female crew members became girly-girls," teased Elissa as she examined a pink tank-top that was sitting on the table.
"We always have been, Shep, we just keep it well hidden from the men," said Kasumi, "except now Joker knows our secret, thanks to you."
"Nothing remains a secret long on this ship," chuckled Elissa, a jade colored dress catching her eye, "besides, I also did some clothes shopping, I bought Joker a few items."
"Anything edible?" asked Gabby, the rest of the women laughing as Elissa blushed.
"Nothing like that," replied Elissa calmly though she could still feel the heat from her cheeks, "I bought him an aviator jacket."
"Oh, like in those old pilot movies?" asked Samantha, selecting a pair of white pumps from the line up on the couch.
"Yeah," replied Elissa as she reached for the dress, "along with a pair of aviator sunglasses and a new hat."
"Where's all of this merchandise?" asked Tali, "I didn't see you come in with any boxes or bags."
"I hid them," said Elissa, as she scrutinized a pair of flesh-toned heels, "I managed to hang back enough to slip them onto his chair. I just hope he likes them."
"Why wouldn't he?" asked Samantha, "You obviously put some thought into the gift and everyone says it's the thought that counts."
"You should not worry so much about your relationship with Joker, Shepard," said Samara, "from what I have observed, it is progressing smoothly and you both appear to be very happy."
Elissa smiled, "I am happy, I mean, I'm dating the man I've been in love with for years now, what's not to be happy about?"
"Hold up," said Tali holding her hand up at Elissa, "You mean to tell us that you have always loved Joker even though you were dating Major Alenko?"
Elissa hung her head sheepishly, "Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. We didn't act on it until now because of Kaidan and the regs."
"You should've dated Joker while you were working with Cerberus," called Miranda from the bathroom, "I mean, Major Alenko had basically dumped you on Horizon and we didn't have any regs instated during that mission."
"Well, I never said I didn't think about it," said Elissa a mischievous gleam in her eye, "but I thought it'd be best for both of us at that time to just remain the best of friends, that way nothing would be overly complicated if things went sideways."
"I guess there's some practicality in that," said Gabby thoughtfully, "but why deny yourself the person you love?"
"I had hurt him already by dying as his friend," said Elissa quietly, "I didn't want to think of the pain I'd leave him with if I died as his lover."
The room was quiet for a few minutes as everyone thought about what Elissa had said and gathered their things getting ready for use of the bathroom, which was becoming a progressively long wait.
"So, Lisa," said Tali, "Garrus said we're only allowed a few remarks about your dancing tonight, can we start now? It's likely we won't reach our limit by the time we leave the club unless we start right now."
Elissa groaned and leaned back into her seat as the women around her laughed at her embarrassment, "I guess I should be glad at least Steve doesn't mind my dancing."
"I still can't believe you move your arms like that," joked Samantha.
"Given your grace on the battlefield, I would've expected better fluidity on the dance floor," remarked Samara, a smile ghosting her lips.
"Why couldn't you have fixed her dancing when you were rebuilding her, Miranda?" called Tali to Miranda.
"Some things like Lisa's terrible dancing are too difficult to overcome even with modern science," replied Miranda, eliciting laughter from the group.
"Thanks for all of your support, glad I can always count on you to back me up," sighed Elissa, laughing with the others.
"You're kidding me, a mountain of clothes in the middle of Lola's bedroom?" commented James as he dealt another hand, "That doesn't sound right, all of those bad ass women going loco over some shiny fabric, be serious."
"They weren't going crazy over just the clothes, James," said Joker, faking a shudder, "there was also the shoes, oh God the shoes, not to mention the belts and scarves."
"Shoes, clothes, accessories, sounds rather complicated which makes me glad our attire does not require as many frivolities," said Garrus, flexing his mandibles in a smile, "I'll raise you five credits, Steve."
"Plus we're able to get ready much faster than they do. I'll see your five and raise you six," said Steve, tossing in some chips before leaning back in his chair, "But why are you concerned that they're getting dressed up, James? I think it'd be a nice change to see everyone looking good for an evening out on the town."
"I have to agree with Steve," said Ken, his brow furrowing at his cards, "I think seeing all of those beautiful women out of uniform will do wonders for morale."
"Aren't you married, Ken?" asked Joker, glancing up from his cards as he tossed a couple of chips into the pile.
"Joker, just because I'm a married man doesn't mean I can't appreciate a well put together woman like the Commander or Miranda," replied Ken, playing with his chips, "I can look all I want as long as I don't touch."
"And Gabby knows about this system?" asked Garrus as he traded in two cards.
"Well . . .uh . . .not exactly," muttered Ken nervously, flicking his thumb across the corner of one of his cards, "but she hasn't said anything to the contrary."
"Yeah, remind her of that when she hits you for checking out another woman," chuckled James, "Alright, gentlemen, time to show the cards."
They all placed the cards on the table and groaned when Steve triumphantly pulled the chip pile to his section of the table.
Joker threw his cards to James in defeat, waiting patiently for the next round to start while James shuffled the deck again, Steve now sorting his ever growing pile of chips.
"Jeff," said EDI overhead, "your assistance is required on the bridge."
"Why?" asked Joker as James passed out the cards, excited when he saw what he was holding.
"The results of the diagnostics tests have just come in," replied EDI, "I suggest you come and examine them."
"Send them to my omni-tool," said Joker dismissively as he waited for his turn to toss in chips.
"I'm afraid these require your full attention," said EDI, "you must come down to the bridge this instant."
"Fine," groaned Joker, throwing James his cards before standing up, "Guess I'd better go and see what EDI wants. Deal me back in when I return."
"Roger that," said James, folding Joker's cards back into the deck.
"You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say EDI was trying to get you alone," said Ken, winking at Joker who glared in response.
"Not funny, Ken," muttered Joker, "I'll be back soon."
He left the room and made his way to the elevator, silently cursing EDI for interrupting his game, and pressed the button to summon the elevator.
"There had best be something wrong otherwise I'm smearing grease on her cameras again," mumbled Joker as he entered the elevator, pressing the button for the CIC.
When he arrived at the CIC he was hit with the quiet, these last few days had been nothing but hustle and bustle and now after Elissa had issued twenty four hours shore leave the calm was almost unnerving. Joker maneuvered his way across the CIC to the bridge, still cursing EDI as he walked to the bridge, "Okay, EDI, I'm here. What do you need me to look at?"
"I believe you will be more comfortable looking over these reports from your chair," said EDI, her orb appearing in its usual station.
Joker rolled his eyes as he walked to his chair and spun it around, he was about to sit down when he saw a wrapped gift sitting in his place, he stared at it for a few seconds unsure of why it was there and who it was from.
"I believe the organic custom when one is on the receiving end of a package is to open it in order to discover its content," quipped EDI.
"Thanks," mumbled Joker, reaching down for the small card he saw tucked underneath the string on the side of the box, he flipped the cover up and read the inscription:
Jeff,
Couldn't resist!
Love,
Ellie
With trembling hands he opened the package, eager to see what Elissa had gotten him, and when he saw the gifts inside he grinned. Inside was a brown leather aviator jacket, a pair of silver aviator sunglasses and a new cap that was red with Joker emblazoned across the front in gold lettering.
"Damn," chuckled Joker as he tried on the glasses and replaced his cap with the new one, "I'm definitely wearing these tonight."
"That is a good idea, Jeff," said EDI.
Joker looked at the AI, "You knew about this didn't you?"
"Yes," replied EDI, sounding almost pleased with herself, "I watched Shepard place them there earlier and was concerned that you would not find them in an adequate amount of time."
Joker raised an eyebrow, "Well, thanks EDI, I really appreciate the gesture. Is Shepard still getting ready?"
"I believe that is the situation," said EDI, "she recently broke up an altercation between Samantha and Tali over a beaded belt, saying, 'I've broken up many fights before but this is just ridiculous' before yanking the belt away."
Joker laughed, "I was expecting that to happen sooner or later."
"Is this normal behavior for organic females?" asked EDI as Joker slipped his jacket on.
"Not ordinarily," replied Joker, still grinning, "but when new clothes are involved, all bets are off."
"I see," said EDI, "When is the crew departing for Afterlife?"
"Uh, I think we're leaving just as soon as the girls are ready to leave," said Joker, checking the time on his omni-tool, "Speaking of which, EDI could you please inform the women that happy is hour is going to end in about forty five minutes and with it goes the one credit shots?"
"Yes, I will do so," said EDI, "Should I also inform the male crew members of this announcement?"
"Yeah, that's a good idea," said Joker adjusting the bill of his new cap, "How's that surprise you've been working on?"
"It is near completion," reported EDI, "I will inform the crew of your announcement, one moment please." EDI disappeared from her station.
Joker sat in his seat and waited for EDI to return to the cockpit, spinning his seat around out of boredom, humming the Russian national anthem to himself.
"I have delivered the message," said EDI, popping up in her station, "and I have a reply from the female crew members: Miranda's still in the fucking bathroom, give us five more fucking minutes or missing one credit shots will be the least of your worries."
Joker shook his head in mirth, "They obviously don't have their priorities straight."
"Should I relay that message to them as well, Jeff?" asked EDI.
"No!" cried Joker, "That one doesn't need to be repeated. Ever."
"Of course, Jeff," said EDI, disappearing from her station.
"Hey, Joker!" shouted James from across the CIC, "Thought you were coming back up to play a few more hands."
"I was when I realized we were about to miss one credit shots," said Joker smirking at James and he saw the rest of the group following behind him to the bridge.
"So we were told," said Garrus, "Interesting dress choice, Joker, seems very primitive Earth."
"It might be, but the classics last a lifetime," said Joker smugly, "plus I'm pretty sure I'm the only one of us that can pull of this look."
"Which is probably a good thing," said Ken with a smirk.
"Ah screw you, Ken," chuckled Joker.
"I hope the girls hurry up," sighed James, "I can practically taste those shots now."
"Patience is obviously the virtue none of you learned," said Elissa from behind, startling them.
"How are you so quiet in heels, Shepard?" asked Ken, clutching his chest.
"Years of practice," replied Elissa simply, "Are we ready to go or is Joker the only one?"
"No, Lola, the rest of us are ready," said James, "We've just been waiting for our dates."
"Well, yours might be longer than the rest," said Elissa smirking, "We ended up forgoing the bathroom and just using Kasumi's hand mirror instead."
"Where is everyone else?" asked Steve and soon they heard the sounds of clicking heels and excited chatter as the rest of the women exited the elevator.
"Finally," muttered Garrus, holding out his arm for Tali to take, "Tali, you look incredible, you have my mandible on the floor."
"Good to know," said Tali in a sultry voice, "I like this green belt but I think the beaded one would have looked better, Shepard."
"Hey, you were the one who was about the break Samantha's hand over a piece of fabric with glass beads," retorted Elissa, making Joker laugh.
She looked at him and smiled, "I see you found your present."
"Yeah," said Joker, absentmindedly grazing his fingers on the leather, "EDI made sure I was able to find them in time."
Elissa shook her head, a smile on her face, "Thanks, EDI, I appreciate the help."
"You are most welcome, Elissa," replied EDI from overhead.
"So are we ready for some fun?" asked Samantha as she approached, Steve offering her his arm which she happily accepted.
"I know I am," said Gabby, kissing Ken on the cheek.
"You're looking good, Gabby," said Ken, wrapping his arm protectively around her waist, "you should wear skirts more often."
Gabby blushed, "Well, I know how you like my legs."
"And what lovely legs they are," said Ken in a husky voice.
"Should we just leave you two on the ship and go on without you?" asked Joker uncomfortably.
"Not necessary, Joker," laughed Ken, "I promise we'll behave until the alcohol starts flowing."
Gabby gaped at him as the rest of the crew laughed.
"Speaking of people staying behind," said Elissa, "Liara and Samara aren't joining us, is that correct?"
"That is accurate, Elissa," said EDI, "Your mother and Chakwas are declining the invitation as well, they seem intent on having a quiet evening."
"Yeah, this might be their last chance," sighed Tali, "as soon as leave's over we're all back on this ship and hopefully off to Rannoch soon."
The mood became sombre at the mention of Rannoch, many of the crew now thinking of their families and the unknown day they would arrive.
Elissa sensed the change in everyone's mood and was quick to improve morale, "Alright, if I'm not mistaken, we're about to miss those one credit shots I've heard so much about. Shall we head to Afterlife?"
There were resounding cheers as everyone prepared to enter the airlock and depart from the ship, when they heard the loud clicking of heels, they all turned around to see Miranda walking up with a stern look on her face.
"You weren't thinking of leaving without me were you?" asked Miranda as she took James's arm, "I mean, I wasn't in the powder room that long."
"You were in Shepard's bathroom for fifty-two minutes, twelve seconds, Miranda," said EDI, the stunned look on Miranda's face evoking sniggering from the rest of the group.
"Well, with that settled, let's get the hell to Afterlife!" cried Gabby and the group cheered as they disembarked from the Normandy, everyone eager to begin a night of drunken fun and mischief.
Elissa and Joker entered Afterlife first, quickly deafened by the loud thumping bass, they quickly made a bee line for the bar hoping to get a few shots before attempting to dance or mingle uninhibited.
"I need four shots of whiskey, my good man," said Joker, throwing four credit chits on the counter, the Turian bartender nodded and went about getting the drink.
"Why whiskey?" asked Elissa, leaning against the metal counter.
"Why not whiskey?" retorted Joker wrapping his arm securely around her shoulders, "Where'd everyone else go?"
"Dance floor," said Elissa her eyes scanning the room, briefly resting on each crew member before turning back to Joker, "All present and accounted for."
"Except for me," said Jack, coming up behind Elissa, "Hey Shepard, looks like you took my advice and got him laid finally, didn't mean for you to do it per say but I guess if you want to do something right you should do it yourself."
Elissa laughed and Joker opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out, instead he reached for the shot glass the bartender had put beside his elbow, he quickly downed the bitter liquid relishing in the burning sensation as it went down his throat.
"So Jack," said Elissa, "how'd you manage to sneak out?"
"I used the front door," snorted Jack, "Since I'm not formally part of Hackett's crew, he doesn't have any authority over whether I stay on or leave the ship. So are you going to ask me?"
"Ask you what?" asked Elissa as she accepted her shots from Joker, handing one to Jack who immediately threw it down her throat.
"Damn that's good whiskey," declared Jack as she put the glass back on the counter, "Ask me about all the crap you normally do, like 'Where have I been?', 'How'd I get mixed up with Hackett,' 'Where are the students?'"
"Well since you saved me the trouble of asking," smirked Elissa, throwing back her shot of whiskey, shivering slightly from the pleasant bitter bite of the alcohol.
"Alright then," said Jack, making herself comfortable on the nearest barstool, Elissa and Joker doing the same, "Before this I was on the Citadel with Kahlee, teaching my fucking amazing students how to make stronger shields that were practically impenetrable to inferno rounds when in walked Hackett. He informed Kahlee and I that we were both in danger due to our association with you and the Normandy, I told him that I could handle myself and to fuck off, Kahlee on the other hand wanted to know what to do with the kids. Hackett suggested sending them back home to Earth, Kahlee agreed and I fucking lost it, I yelled at both of them and told them they were not taking those kids away for no good reason. That was when the bullet came sailing into the room."
"What?!" exclaimed both Joker and Elissa.
"Yeah," snarled Jack, her brow furrowing in anger as if she wanted to forget that part of the story, "It . . . it hit Rodriguez. Only a shoulder wound but the way she was carrying on I thought it hit her in the chest, well that's what convinced me to go with Hackett's plan and we got the kids and Kahlee on the next shuttle out of there. I was going to go too when Hackett told me you had been thrown in prison."
"Why'd that keep you from accompanying your students to Earth?" asked Elissa, trying to contain her own rage at the situation.
"Believe it or not, Shepard, I do give a fuck about how you're doing," said Jack defensively, "and the fact you were behind bars again to me was just a load of bullshit. I decided to stay with Hackett, help anyway I could, and then regroup with you after you made your escape which brings me to my next point of business: I want in."
"Want in?" repeated Joker, knowing full well what she meant but decided to tease her, "Want in what? Shepard's room? Some kind of betting pool James has set up? Garrus's pants?"
Jack rolled her eyes, "You know what the fuck I mean, Joker. Jesus, Shepard, I would've thought you screwing him would've given him an attitude adjustment."
"Who says I want his attitude adjusted?" asked Elissa defensively.
"Hey, calm down," said Jack, backing off of the subject quickly, "I never said that sex changes everyone, but it certainly seems to have affected the Cheerleader."
They all glanced at Miranda who was dancing so incredibly close to James that both Joker and Elissa were surprised that there was even room left for his dog tags.
"Yeah, guess you're right," snorted Joker amused, "I think you're being beckoned, Ellie."
Elissa nervously looked over and saw Samantha, Tali, and Kasumi all waving her over to join them on the dance floor, she waved back throwing them a timid smile only to have Kasumi walk over and physically drag her over.
"Come on, Shep, we have to get a few jabs in before the night's out," joked Kasumi as she tried to pull Elissa by the arm away from Joker and the bar only to be stopped when Elissa took her free arm and grabbed the counter bracing herself.
Joker laughed, "My God, babe, you took down a Reaper on foot! I don't think dancing is that difficult for you to do."
"Have you ever seen her dancing?" laughed Jack as she motioned with her glass for another shot of whiskey, "I think she defeated that Reaper by dancing at it."
Elissa shot her a dark glare, and then she turned to Joker, a pleading look on her face, "Please help me!"
"Alright, Kasumi, let her go," sighed Joker pulling Kasumi's hand from Elissa's wrist, "I promise she'll be out on the dance floor soon, just let me give her a little pep talk."
Kasumi begrudgingly backed away from Elissa, "Fine, but I expect her on the dance floor in two minutes, if she's not there I'm coming back for her."
"Understood, now go," laughed Joker, shooing the thief away before turning to Elissa, "Okay, cut the crap, you're going to dance."
"Is that an order, Flight Lieutenant?" asked Elissa, cocking her head at him in surprise.
"You bet that nice ass of yours it is, Commander," said Joker, speaking in a tone similar to hers in the heat of battle, "I know you have rhythm, Ellie, I've seen the way you can move your hips and damn if it isn't the best sight in the galaxy."
"That's different," scoffed Elissa, unable to keep herself from grinning at the compliment, "That only happens because I'm doing something I enjoy, dancing is the bane on my existence."
Joker rolled his eyes, "Always one for the dramatics. Look, dancing and sex or in our case making love are the one in the same, you feel for the rhythm and move your body accordingly. Just let the music flow through you and relax, you've seen how everyone else dances and you have the potential to do the same, just keep your arms under control otherwise you'll throw off the entire balance."
Elissa glared at him but there was no malice in her look, instead she nodded her head in agreement, "Alright, I'll give it a shot, if you hear snickering just know I'm coming for you when we get back to the ship."
"Deal," chuckled Joker, kissing her cheek, "now go have some fun, I'll be right here if you need me for anything."
Elissa sulked off, only to be encouraged by the cheers of her friends, and she lifted her head higher.
"How'd you know that'd work?" asked Jack, dipping a cherry in her whiskey shot.
"Just a hunch," replied Joker, pulling his hat further over his eyes, hoping Jack would miss the blush that was creeping on his cheeks, "How'd you know Shepard and I are together?"
"Just a hunch," said Jack simply, shrugging her shoulders, when Joker gave her a questioning look she sighed, "I always had a feeling if you two were in the right circumstances, you'd make a badass couple, and I have a feeling I'm right."
"You might be, but the circumstances are less than ideal," sighed Joker, "I wouldn't call confessing our feelings for each other in prison the best way to go about starting a relationship."
Jack shrugged, "It's certainly memorable, hell, I've done it while gunning down mercs you work with what you're dealt. Just don't fuck it up like that asshole did or I'll break every bone in your body."
"Noted," huffed Joker, "Since when did you take an interest in Shepard's love life?"
Jack glared at him, "That woman is the best damn thing to ever happen to this galaxy, and she doesn't deserve to be treated like shit, if I had been there I'd have beaten the ever loving fuck out of that guy. No woman, especially Shepard, deserves to be treated like that ever! And if you ever tell Shepard I said that, I'll break your jaw."
Joker looked at Jack in amazement, he had always known Elissa considered Jack a good friend but he had never heard Jack reciprocating those feelings, even if she had not come out and said it just then he could tell in her body language and tone that she cared.
"Your secret's safe with me, Jenny," sniggered Joker, missing the fist aimed at his head, "Careful, Shepard's watching you."
Jack turned and saw that Elissa was indeed watching them, a look of warning on her face and Jack relaxed slightly and faced Joker, "Good. Now let's open a tab, I'm aiming to get everyone drunk tonight, and then filming the result."
"I thought filming our drunken antics was Kasumi's job," said Joker as he accepted a drink from Jack, glad to see it had an umbrella sticking out of the cherry.
Jack gave him a smirk, "Hard to hold a camera if you're completely plowed, and I never get drunk so I can hold a camera just fine, I'm sure you've seen some of my work on the extranet."
Joker nearly chocked on his drink, "I'm going to pretend you never said that, and then when I get back to the ship, delete most if not all of my porn collection."
The night progressed smoothly, Jack kept the tab open and the alcohol flowing, the music was great and the crew finally found themselves relaxing. Jacob apologized to Jack for trying to knock her out with a chair, she responded by playfully punching his shoulder and offering him another drink, clinking glasses as a sign of friendship. Garrus told Tali he loved her singing and that he would not ever tell her to stop singing again as long as she did not get onto him for saying calibrate more than three times in a day, to which she happily agreed. James serenaded Miranda in Spanish, to the great amusement of the crew, and in response she admitted she was not as perfect as everyone thought saying that when she was younger she was caught in a rather embarrassing position with her biotics instructor. Everyone laughed to Miranda's obvious relief, and James kissed her cheek, telling her she would have to show him the exact position she had been caught in later.
Ken kept Gabby on his hip the entire night, not even glancing at another woman, but getting extremely jealous whenever someone would point out to Gabby that some man was checking her out. Samantha persuaded the bartender to let her behind the bar and make some special drinks for her friends, Steve accompanying her in this endeavor and together they created a new drink called the Flaming Shepard which comprised of ryncol and a few other key ingredients before being lit on fire. Kasumi giggled like a school girl when several men came up to her and asked her to join them for a dance or a drink, saying she would never have gotten this much attention if she had gone out in her usual attire. Miranda even complimented her hair, telling her she did an excellent job with it, admiring the pink highlights she had added just for this night out. The best news of the evening was Elissa had finally earned her comrades' admiration and respect for her dancing, everyone was shocked into silence when they saw her moving her hips and arms in time to the music with the grace and fluidity of water.
"Alright, everyone," called Garrus, getting the crew's attention, "before this night ends, I would like to propose a toast: first to Shepard's greatly improved dancing skills which is no longer a source of pain and embarrassment for the entire crew and by extension Council space, and to these amazing people with me tonight, we've been to hell and back with hardly a scratch."
Everyone around him raised their glasses, clinking together in unison, laughter and a few bouts of swearing following as drinks spilled in the process. They all sat around the bar engaging in mindless chatter when the music changed to a slower beat, a club's equivalent to a slow song, and Joker took Elissa's hand.
"Come on, Ellie, I'll dance with you," said Joker sweetly, pulling her with him to the dance floor, barely aware that the rest of the crew had stayed back to watch them dance together for the second time.
Joker pulled her close to his chest, wrapping his arms securely around her waist as she snaked her arms around his neck, their foreheads resting against each other as the swayed in time with the music. He felt himself floating, he could not tell if the bliss he was feeling was from the alcohol, the love he saw in the eyes of the woman he loved, or a mix of both but he was happy nonetheless and was not about to give up this perfect moment for anything.
"This is perfect," muttered Joker, pecking her lips lightly.
"Can't argue there," sighed Elissa happily, pulling him in closer.
"You're so beautiful, Elissa," said Joker, "Marry me."
Elissa smiled, she could tell he was not serious but appreciated the sentiment nonetheless, "On a night like this, how could I say no?"
"Good, so now I know for future reference you'll always say yes if I dance with you," laughed Joker, kissing the tip of her nose, making her laugh in response.
Elissa suddenly felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle, now aware that the room had gone eerily quiet, she released her hold on Joker who looked at her with concern before coming to the same realization she had: there was someone behind them. She turned around slowly, her hand hovering over the small concealed weapon she had on her thigh, and she came face to face with Aria T'Loak. Elissa swallowed hard, the look on the Queen of Omega's face could have reduced a Krogan to a blubbering puddle of cowardice but she met her gaze refusing to look away.
"Shepard," said Aria harshly.
"Aria," said Elissa calmly, putting herself between Aria and Joker, aware that her crew was now moving to her side though she dared not glance at them. Quickly her eyes scanned the body guards Aria had on both sides, there was easily a dozen in total and most of them were Batarians except for Patriarch who stood smugly to Aria's right.
"I'm surprised you'd betray me in this way, Shepard," started Aria, her arms crossed, "I give you and your allies shelter and access to supplies, protect you from those who would do you harm, and you still betray me."
"What have I done, Aria? Dance with my boyfriend in your club?" asked Elissa, managing not to sneer.
Aria stepped forward, barely two feet between them now, Elissa could vividly see the purple markings on Aria's skin, "You brought Archangel back to Omega, after I told him to never return, what he did warrants his death."
Elissa felt her blood boil, not only was she angry at Garrus for not mentioning the fact he was banned from Omega but now Aria had the nerve to threaten him to her face.
"You're not going to lay a hand on him," snarled Elissa and she heard the sound of guns being cocked and loaded behind her, inwardly smiling that she had not been the only paranoid one that night.
Aria gave a throaty chuckle in response, "You think you're so well protected, don't you, Shepard? You believe that just because you have your little crew you're safe from me and mine, but you are mistaken, I have two dozens guns aimed at you right now along with these men."
Elissa quickly looked up around her, Aria wasn't lying, she could see the shadows of the men she had mentioned, "I'm sure we can end this without any bloodshed."
"No!" shouted Aria, "You know the rule of Omega: Don't fuck with Aria. You fucked with me and now you have to pay for it!"
Elissa pulled her pistol from underneath her skirt, aiming it at Aria, "I didn't fuck with you, I didn't even know Garrus wasn't supposed to be on Omega, he didn't tell me."
"So he lied to us both," reasoned Aria, "Alright, Shepard, how about this: you hand over Archangel and I let you and your crew leave without being harmed."
Elissa thought about it for the briefest of moments, she was not about to hand her friend over to this psycho bitch who wanted to torture and kill him, "No deal, either you let all of us go, or we fight our way out and I can guarantee you this Aria, only one of us is walking out of this club."
"Why do you always sound so damn cocky?" sneered Aria.
"Because I have the best team in the galaxy," replied Elissa proudly, "Right now, I have three of the best biotics in the galaxy behind me not to mention my N7 soldiers, plus Archangel, all you have are hired mercs who'd turn on you the second someone paid them more. Me, I have loyal friends that would kick your ass for me if I asked."
Aria's face contorted with rage, she pointed at Shepard, "You arrogant bitch! Fi—"
Elissa felt the blood splatter all over her face and arms, saw Aria's body slump to the floor, her final word still etched on her parted lips. There was silence for a few moments and suddenly panic. The partiers who had stood out of the way of the dance floor to allow for Aria's confrontation were now scrambling towards the exit, even some of Aria's hired goons were trying to make a run for it.
"Don't just stand there like pyjaks, attack!" shouted Patriarch over the roar of screams and scurrying feet.
Elissa spun around and started firing at some of the mercs as they scattered around the club hiding in various booths and behind the bar, she looked around and saw a few upturned tables, she motioned to everyone around her to go towards the tables for cover.
"Lola, what do we do?" asked James over the sounds of gunfire as they made it to safety.
"We need to get the civilians out of here," called Elissa, aiming a few shots at the mercs, "Then get back to the Normandy and get the hell out of here."
"We need to tell Hackett," said Jacob as he threw a warp at a group of mercs above, allowing Garrus a clear line of sight.
Elissa nodded, she pressed her earpiece, "Normandy come in, EDI are you there?"
"I am here, Elissa," said EDI, "What do you require?"
"We need to get off Omega!" shouted Elissa, "Recall everyone from shore leave and prep the Normandy for take off and tell Hackett to do the same for the Orizaba!"
"Of course, Elissa," said EDI and she closed the line.
"Start heading for the door," ordered Elissa, "James, you and Jack stay back here with me. Joker, you and the others need to get the civilians to safety, we'll draw the mercs' fire away from the door."
Joker nodded, the look on her face telling him now was not the time to argue, he started inching his way towards Miranda and Kasumi not daring to look back as he heard the gunfire increase.
"Jack, singularity!" he heard Elissa shout and then there was the sound of screams and more gunfire that quickly silenced the screams he could only guess came from the mercs Jack had hit.
"Lola, three pendejos at nine o' clock!" yelled James before more gunfire sounded off in the room.
"Joker, come on," said Miranda, ushering him towards the door, he made the mistake of looking back at the battle unfolding behind him. The woman he saw firing round after round at the mercs was not the same woman whom he had held in his arms just moments ago, this was someone entirely different, this was Commander Shepard and he saw first hand why the very mention of her name made the toughest soldiers nervous. He was so absorbed in this change that he barely registered that Miranda was still tugging on his arm, he stumbled a few steps, still focused on Elissa when Miranda was finally able to get him through the door. He snapped out of the trance and started running the best he could down the long hallway that led to the outside of the club, grateful he had decided to wear his braces underneath his jeans instead of going without.
When they arrived in the common area, the crew stopped to catch their breath as the civilians scrambled back to their respective houses and shelters, still waiting for the arrival of Elissa, Jack and James.
"What the hell happened in there?" panted Gabby, she had gone visibly pale, obviously shaken by the sudden attack.
"I'm not sure," wheezed Tali, "but from what I saw, I think Aria was assassinated."
Garrus nodded, "I have to agree, that bullet came in from behind her, I barely saw it in time myself. Damn, I hope Shepard's alright."
Joker could not speak, still trying to take in all that had happened, instead he kept his gaze on the doors to Afterlife hoping to see Elissa sprinting out of them soon. His wish was granted a few minutes later, she and the others came running out though they did not stop to regroup instead they kept running, motioning for the rest to follow them.
"What's going on, Shepard?" asked Garrus as they headed for the docks.
"Patriarch's called in reinforcements," shouted Elissa, "In about five minutes we're going to be drowning in mercs and assassins, we need to get the fuck off this rock now!"
"EDI, is the ship ready?" asked Joker through his earpiece, jogging beside Kasumi who was helping him keep balance and not stain himself.
"Yes, Jeff, we are ready to depart," replied EDI, "Hackett has already departed, he is heading towards New Canton, he has suggested you and the Normandy head to Rannoch immediately."
"Roger that," said Joker and was relieved when they arrived at the Normandy's entrance, Elissa quickly punched in the access codes and ushered everyone through the doors, sealing the airlock the moment the squad was on board.
"Is everyone on board, EDI?" asked Elissa as she and Garrus helped Joker to the cockpit.
"Yes, Elissa, all crew members have been accounted for," replied EDI.
Elissa nodded and helped Joker settle in his chair, guilt cutting through her when she saw him wince, "Here, baby, work your magic."
"Aye, aye," groaned Joker as he finished the sequence EDI had started and the Normandy came to life, quickly being released from the clamps that held her hull to the dock.
"Setting course for Rannoch," said Joker, prepping the FTL, "Everyone hold onto something, this is going to be rough!"
Elissa braced herself against the back of his chair, feeling the Normandy start flying away from the dock, dodging various smaller ships as Joker flew the ship towards the relay his hands flying across the consoles as he prepared for the entry. In a matter of seconds they were through the beam and Joker engaged the FTL, resting back in his seat sighing heavily, Elissa released her death grip on his seat allowing him to turn around and face her a pained smile on his face.
"Shore leave's never boring with this crew, huh, Ellie?" said Joker, wincing even more, knowing he probably broke his leg during the sprint on Omega.
"Yeah, tell me about it," snorted Elissa, she helped him up out of his chair, "Come on, let's get you looked at, EDI can handle the ship until you get back."
