chapter 17
Disclaimer: I do not own death note
I apologize for the crazy long wait and this probably will happen again because, you know, life, school, stuffs, etc. Like, seriously my homeschool group is killing me. I'm supposed to be able to draw and label a map of the ENTIRE world from MEMORY by the end of the school year, and that's just geography. We people have lives you know! *looks annoyedly at teacher* school sucks. But enough of my complaining, on with the story!
Vanilla shivered and reached for the blankets, but she couldn't find any on the mattress. She opened her eyes only to be met with darkness. She sat up on the edge of the bed and let her eyes adjust to the darkness. When she could finally see she examined the strangely familiar room. The bed was falling apart and the mattress was old and worn. There were no blankets or pillows either. The closet doors were falling off and the pale yellow paint in the room was peeling. She looked down and realized she was wearing a torn, dirty white nightgown. The curtains were torn and covered in holes as well. She stood up and walked to the window, pulling the curtains aside. The window was falling apart as well and some of the glass was broken. Outside was a large pond with woods behind it. She saw the sun rising behind the trees and rested her head in her hands to watch the sunrise. She watched the beautiful oranges and yellows peek out from behind the trees and the black night sky turn blue as she sighed and felt the gentle breeze blowing through the broken window.
She nearly fell over in surprise when the glass of the window started to repair itself as the sunlight reached it. The light flowed through the room, fixing everything. Pink blankets and pillows appeared on the bed as the wooden frame repaired itself. The closet doors were repaired and new furniture appeared as the sunlight swept through the room like a wave, making it look new again. She looked down as her nightgown turned into an orange dress that faded into pink at the bottom. The dress was long and the sleeves reached her elbows. She looked around the room one more time, finally recognizing it.
"My old bedroom" she smiled as she realized where she was. "so that means..." she walked over to the door, slowly turning the shining handle. She opened the door a little bit, peeking out. She opened the door all the way on looked down the familiar hallway. Walking slowly, she recalled every detail of her old house. She looked into a door on the left wall of the hallway, her parent's room. It looked the same as she remembered it, the big bed it the middle, the dresser on the right wall and the night tables on either side of the bed with an alarm clock on one of them. She turned and walked down the stairs and into the small living room. The white carpet was soft and fluffy. She ran her hand along the wall, carefully avoiding the dozens of picture frames hung all over, all the way to the other end of the room. She passed the kitchen, taking a peek inside before moving on to the dining room.
In the doorway of the dining room hung a beautiful bead curtain with an image of Japanese cherry blossoms on it. Vanilla pushed the beads to the side slightly and peeked in. Two people sat the table. She gasped as the two figures turned towards her. She couldn't bring herself to say anything as the people stood up. When she finally realized, Sort of, what was going on, she felt her eyes tear up. A smile came to her face as she stepped towards the figures.
"Mama! Papa!" she ran up to them and gave them a hug.
"Hello my little dragon," Her father said softly, using the nickname he had always called her.
"It's good to see you haven't yet forgotten us," Her mother said. Vanilla looked up at her parents.
"I would never forget you, no matter what" Her parents just smiled at her. Then her mother spoke again.
"You've made us proud, you've survived what many people couldn't and saw what others can't" Her mother stopped. Her father continued instead, saying what he wanted to.
"People might not always agree with you, but you must always speak the truth. Even the most bizarre of truths are still true, regardless of what others may say" Vanilla was about to say something when her mother spoke again.
"Now go, we won't keep you from your friends in the real world any longer." Vanilla looked around and realized they were now standing by the front door. She had no idea how they had gotten there, as she hadn't remembered moving at all. Her mother gestured to the door. Vanilla walked over to the door but turned around before opening it.
"Thank you" she wasn't really sure what she was thanking them for but it seemed like the right thing to say. She turned the doorknob and swung open the door. everything was white, or maybe nothing was white. All she could see was white but she couldn't see anything else, it was just a sea of whiteness if that was even a word. She took a step outside and looked back towards the house, except there was no house now. It had just disappeared. She looked around a few times and saw nothing but the white glow that seemed to be coming from everywhere. She felt almost like a kid who had gotten lost. Scared, no clue where she was and confused. She was incredibly confused. She felt a tear roll down her face, she had no clue what to do so she just dropped to the ground, no longer trying to hold back her tears.
She jumped when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her. She looked up and saw L. She tried to say something but no sound came out, almost as if the world had been muted. He looked down at her with a small smile and seemed to say something, but she couldn't hear what it was. He pulled her closer into the hug and suddenly she felt really tired. She closed her eyes.
Vanilla opened her eyes slowly and looked up at the ceiling of the dark room. 'that was a weird dream'. She turned her head when she heard a series soft clicking noises from beside her.
"Ryuzaki?" He looked at her for a second but looked back at his laptop and went back to whatever he was doing.
'still refusing to talk to me, huh?' she thought. She glared at him for a second and was about to say something else but stopped herself. 'I'm tired of this argument, if I get angry it's just going to go on for longer' she sighed and stood up. She walked part way to the door before glancing back at L. He was watching her from the corner of his eye. Vanilla couldn't help but smirk a little at his horrible attempt at being sneaky. When he saw that he had been caught he quickly looked back at his computer. Vanilla rolled her eyes and smiled slightly as she walked out of the room. She decided to make some tea. As she was drinking it she looked up at the clock and realized it was only a few minutes past 2 A.M. 'when did I start waking up THIS early?' she shrugged and took another sip of her tea. She leaned against the wall and noticed how peaceful and quiet it was. She closed her eyes and relaxed, sipping on her tea every now and then. She finished her warm beverage, washing her cup and putting it away. She went back to the room, where Ryuzaki was still sitting on the bed and typing on his laptop. Walking across the room, Vanilla opened the doors that led to the balcony. She put in her earbuds and turned on her orange mp3 player, resting her arms on the railing of the balcony as she listened to music. She sighed as she felt the breeze blow her hair back a bit. She watched as two birds flew past the buildings, a feather falling from one of them down to the street below. As she watched the feather fall a new song started. Her soft voice rang through the quiet air as she sang along.
"I can't help but close my eyes for life
And dream a different ending
That when I wake, I won't be so exhausted
And I will stop with my pretending
That I'm fine, I'm fine if I can fool myself tonight
And my lie will drown out all of yours
I will not bend until I break, how much can one bruised body take?
Just not enough to silence me, you're only a memory
I'll scream these words 'til they come true, then I will think no more of you
Look back on what I'm going through, this isn't my identity
You will bleed for what your hands have done
You can't outrun your ending
And I'll get well long before you let yourself
I may forgive you, but you never will
I will not bend until I break, how much can one bruised body take?
Just not enough to silence me, you're only a memory
I'll scream these words 'til they come true, then I will think no more of you
Look back on what I'm going through, this isn't my identity
And I told you, I told you, you had no right
How damaged you must be
Watch you panic, it's tragic, you'll carry this for life
You have my sympathy
I will not bend until I break, how much can one bruised body take?
Just not enough to silence me, you're only a memory
I'll scream these words 'til they come true, then I will think no more of you
Look back on what I'm going through, this isn't my identity
You're only a memory
This isn't my identity
You're only a memory
This isn't my identity (I will not bend)
You're only a memory (I will not break)
This isn't my identity (I will not bend)
You're only a memory (I will not break)
This isn't my identity (I will not bend)
You're only a memory (I will not break)
This isn't my identity (I will not bend)
You're only a memory (I will not break)
This isn't my identity (I will not bend)
You're only a memory (I will not break)
This isn't my identity"
In the silence in between the songs, she heard someone say something.
"What song was that?"
Vanilla turned off her mp3 player and turned around. "only a memory by Icon for hire. It's one of my favorite songs" she looked up at L. He was still typing on his computer, not looking away from the screen.
"Any reason why?"
"huh?"
"Why do you like that song? does it mean something? people tend to choose songs they can relate to"
She rested her arms on the railing again, sighing.
"No particular reason, it's just a well-made song."
Ryuzaki said nothing else. Vanilla looked up at the sky. The lights and pollution of the city hid most of the stars, only a few were lucky enough to shine their light on Tokyo. Even the moon seemed dimmed. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, smiling a bit as a silent whisper escaped her lips, almost too quiet to hear.
"I wonder how long it will be until I feel free like a child again..."
