Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit, everything belongs to Tolkien, and this story is not for profit.

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Chapter 13

My wedding happened very late at night.

Afterwards, as I took my husband's arm, and followed him away, it occurred to me that there might not be many more hours of darkness left.

Ever since I had come to love the king, every now and then thoughts would enter my head that would make me blush, and then I would hurriedly chase the thought away because after all, it was embarrassing and unlikely to ever happen, so why dwell on it if I didn't want to? But those same thoughts I had embarrassedly had over the last past months were no longer far off dreams and wishes. They were suddenly very realistic realties that might take place in the near future.

As if reading my mind, the king, Thranduil now, said suddenly, "I'll have your things moved into my chamber tomorrow. You can sleep in your chamber tonight still, if you want. I know you are tired. You might be more…comfortable there."

How could I say yes? Suddenly completely and irrationally nervous, I did wish for one more night to spend by myself. And he was right, I was exhausted. Near death experiences will do that to you. But there was only one right answer to this question. Of course he wouldn't mind if I wanted to be alone tonight. But no one should say they want to be alone on their wedding night. Even if he understood, it would still probably upset him. I never wanted to upset him again for as long as I lived. I was married to the man that I loved; I would not let myself spend my wedding night alone because of nerves or silly fears.

"No… I don't mind." I said quietly. Even my small voice seemed to echo in the empty halls. I had never been this way before. The King's chambers were located far away from mine, towards the upper levels of the palace. I wondered if he ever spent much time in his chambers; it seemed to me that it would take forever for him to go up and down these steps all day. I guess he didn't. He was so busy he probably never had time to himself.

There were guards outside his chamber. They didn't say anything when I followed him in. I wandered if they knew already, or if, like me, nothing their king did surprised them.

We came inside and we awkwardly stood in silence for a moment. He sighed, and looked down at me.

" I think that I will soak for a bit, before bed. If you want, you can go ahead and go to…bed. If you want."

Quite audibly clearing my throat, I tried to say lightly, "You have a bathing room here?"

"Oh, yes. There's a warm spring past that door and then two doors to the left. It's why I chose this place to build my chambers…that and the view from the balcony. I like to stand out there some mornings and enjoy the view… I'll show you sometime. It is very beautiful."

"I would like that."

"Well, I am going now." He reached down and gave me a chaste kiss on the hand.

He turned and left his new wife standing alone in his room. I wandered back and forth, not sure what I was supposed to do. At moments like this I wished I had a sister or some female friend that I had gleaned information from beforehand. Should I take my clothes off and get into bed? Should I get into bed with my clothes still on? Come to think of it, I was in my wedding dress, surely I shouldn't wear it to bed. Should I stand waiting here for him to come back? Maybe he would want to take it off himself. Maybe he wouldn't want to take it off at all. Maybe he would want me to be asleep when he came back. No, surely he wouldn't want that. It occurred to me that what he had done was quite rash, and really not sensible at all. I was a homeless human girl, wanted and banished. I was a lot of trouble, more trouble than I was worth really. Even among his subjects who loved him, they could not fail to be skeptical at the very least about what he had done. He was old and widowed, and I was so young.

He wouldn't have done such a pointless thing, unless he had some strong reasons to do so, or at least some strong feelings.

Surely he wanted me. He must.

I carefully took off my wedding dress and draped it along a small table in the corner. My slippers went too, and also my bejeweled headpiece. I took off everything until I was as naked as I had been the day I was born.

Following his directions, I opened the doors until I came to out into the room he spoke of. It seemed to be entirely made of smooth stone and rock, like an indoor cave, only there was a heavy stream of water coming out from the stones. The waterfall created a pool below, where the King was wetting his hair.

He seemed so relaxed, more so than I had seen him before. The steam rising up from the water left me no doubt that it was a very relaxing pool.

Even though he must have heard me come in, he didn't look up until I stepped toward the edge of the water. There was no shallow end that I could see, so it appeared that I would just have to sink right into the deep end.

I stepped right on the edge, trying to find a way to enter gracefully, but the stony ground was slippery and I tripped and fell right in.

I might have fallen and splashed, or hit my head on the ground behind, but as I came down the King quickly reached out and caught me around the waist so that I wouldn't fall.

He didn't let go of my waist, not even when I was safely in the water with him. He brought me closer to him, until he had wrapped both his arms around my smaller frame, and my girlish chest was pressed against his own broad one.

My face was hot now, and I knew it wasn't just from the steamy water. It felt so strange, my bare skin meeting his.

He was so tall he could stand up completely in the water. Timidly I wrapped first one leg around his waist, and then the other, until he was holding me completely.

He leaned down to kiss me, and I leaned up at the same time, but a little too quickly, because I bumped my nose hard against his.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, unable to meet his eyes from my embarrassment, "I haven't done this before."

"Don't worry," he whispered, reaching down again to kiss me, but this time cradling my head in his hands, "I have."

Then, slowly, painfully, magically, he brought me down to him until our bodies truly met.

…..

He made love about like I would have expected, calmly, strongly, and mostly quietly. None of the wild, loud frenzy that some other women had spoken of their own husbands doing.

But he was not impassionate, quite the contrary. He brought the same quiet, slow burning intensity that he had for everything into bed with him. And it made the whole experience very intense and almost overwhelming.

The first night, he put his arms around me afterwards, when we lay in his large bed, but he did so strangely and somewhat coldly. In fact, other than the first night, it was not usual for him to ever hold me in bed, whether or not we had slept together.

I didn't mind though. I was ecstatic to be lying next to him at night, knowing that I was his wife, and could act as if I was his beloved like he was mine. If he ever fell asleep before me, I would gently, so as not to wake him, stroke his face softly with my fingers, or briefly cover his hand with mine, or even his broad naked chest.

But that first night he held me. I couldn't really enjoy it though because I fell asleep fairly quickly that night. I was tired from running through the woods, almost drowning, and not to mention learning the secrets of the marriage bed. I was also in quite a bit of pain.

He was gone when I woke up.

I didn't, for a moment, know what to do. My wedding dress was still on the chair where I had left it, but I could scarcely put that back on. I decided to go outside to the balcony he had described and try to see from the sun what time it was.

I wrapped the sheet around myself and wandered out to the doors barefoot.

Thankfully, he was there outside leaning against the rails and starting at the winter sky.

I tried to lessen the ecstatic hysterical smile that I felt like giving, and instead smiled shyly at him as I came outside.

He returned my smile and beckoned me closer.

I couldn't suppress a shiver. My sheet-our sheet- was not doing much to keep me warm in the frigid winter air, especially to my bony shoulders that were poking out. And it was also embarrassing to see how easily what the cold was doing to my body show through the sheet.

He pulled me into his long morning coat so that we were both bundled in it together.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked.

"I did. " I replied.

We both were silent for a moment until I said, "This is a spectacular view."

I couldn't see his facial expression, but I wondered if he were smiling. "I thought you might like it." He said quietly.

I cleared my throat and summoned up the courage to ask him what I was supposed to do now.

"Whatever you like. Whatever you were doing before. You're my queen now. If you like, you can come to council meetings with me sometimes, or help me attend to my other duties, if you wish.

Pondering over that for a moment I wondered what I did want to do now. I wanted to reply that I wanted to be his wife, and be by his side all the time, every moment, until he got sick of me. But I wasn't sure he would like it, so instead I said that for a while I would rather do what I had always done. I didn't add this, but I thought that I was so young to be ruling. I would wait until I was a little older and had more knowledge and experience before I presumed to lead others.

"Of course. Inform me if you change your mind. You can follow me around sometimes and watch whenever you wish, however."

I thanked him, and he wrapped his arms a little tighter around me. I thought, not for the first time, how beautiful his arms were, and how big and powerful they were, yet how gentle they could be when they were holding me. An overwhelming urge to look at his face overcame me, and I turned in his arms to look up his tall body to his face.

He was so beautiful; I could scarcely believe that he was my husband, that I was his wife. That he belonged to me, and I to him.

"What is it?" He asked, probably sensing some of my awe in my expression.

"I.. well…um.. my King…"

"Thranduil." He said, squeezing me for emphasis.

"Thranduil. I was wondering…about… some clothes?" Even after all of this, it was still difficult for me to tell him what I was thinking.

He smiled. "I'll have someone bring your clothes to this room, don't worry. But in the meantime, while you don't have any…" He slowly pulled the sheet away from my body, until it was pooled around my feet at the floor, and when he lifted me up into his arms I didn't even notice how cold I was before he brought me back inside our room and laid me down on his bed.

…..

Galessel brought me my clothes later.

It felt strange, to think that I was now a married woman and a queen, but I would still be dressing the same way and doing the same things. It was nice, I remember thinking.

Unfortunately a few days later I opened the wardrobe that had been brought into the King's chambers for my use and found most of my old clothes replaced with new, even grander clothes. At least they were still sewn in the human style; it made me feel more like myself. My wedding dress was the only bit of elven clothing that I owned.

To my relief, most people seemed extremely happy to see me married to the King. Friends that I did not know very well commented on how smart and brave I was, and how they knew I would be a good queen for the King. Closer friends whispered to me that the King had seemed so much happier ever since I had came to Mirkwood and how they were delighted that he had married me and that now he would be happy all the time.

Of course, I knew even as I had said the words "I do" that there would be one person who would not be thrilled about my marriage to the king.

If I had gone my entire life and never had to see Coruven again with the knowledge that he knew I had married his father, I would have been a blissful woman.

Unfortunately for me it was not to be.

After a morning tending to some wounded rangers with Padhrion, and then eating lunch with the king (now that I was queen we ate more meals together), I went in to practice my harp for an hour or so.

When I brought a candle into the room, I set it down and moved the curtains aside to let light into the room. I almost screamed when I did; Coruven was sitting in one of my chairs, with his long legs crossed. He was looking at something in his hands, but he was still sitting in one of the more shaded areas of the room and I couldn't see what it was.

"Hello, Coruven. It's nice to see you." I said politely. I figured that now was as good a time as ever to try to turn over a new leaf and get on better terms with him. It would be easier for us both this way, and most important to me, it would be easier on Thranduil.

He didn't say anything for a moment. He looked too angry to speak. I decided that maybe I should wait for him to speak, and then I wished I hadn't.

He got up, put whatever he was holding down on the ground next to him and came over to me.

He picked up my left hand in his cold grip. He was tall, like his father, but very slim, like his mother must have been.

"I see you're a married woman now." He said, fingering my wedding ring with his thumb.

"Yes." I said. I was far too scared to pull my hand away like I wanted to do.

He snorted. "Oh yes, you're married, but you are not his wife. My mother was his wife, and elves only marry once, as you are probably aware. He may have thought he married you, but you are not his wife. Do you understand?" He hissed, looking down into my face.

"Coruven, I'm not trying to replace your mother-" I started, but he struck me with his other hand, the one that wasn't holding mine. Then he grabbed both of my shoulders and shook me angrily.

"Don't you ever speak of my mother ever again. Replace my mother? Ha. You stupid, weak, human girl. You aren't even a hundredth of my own age. Of course you could never replace her. You'll marry him, he'll enjoy you for a little while, and then, oh, maybe a hundred years or so, you'll die. And he will forget all about you. He'll forget that you even existed, like he always does. No, you could never replace her. You'll never really be a wife, or a mother. And you'll never be a queen. Now, tell me you understand so I can let you go."

"I understand. " I whispered.

He let me go and strode out of the room. For a while I was too panicked and upset to do anything, so I just sat in silence, huddled on the floor.

Hours passed and the shadows in the room moved with the sun and with the time of day.

The light of the window hit the spot where he had put down the item that he had been holding.

It was a knife.

…..

When Coruven came into his father's personal study, it was several minutes before he even noticed he was there. It was apparent the King was deep in thought. About what, his son did not know-the possibilities were almost unlimited.

"Father." Coruven said.

Thranduil looked up sharply. "Coruven. It is nice to see you." He seemed to have not noticed that his son, who unlike Legolas almost never called him father but always the king, was holding a small pack.

"Thank you, father."

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

"No, I don't think so. But I want you to know that I'm off."

His father smiled. "Again? You've just returned."

"I know, but I need to go."

"Is something wrong? I mean, you almost never tell me when you go. I've never made you tell me when you leave."

"I know. I thank you for that. But…I've told you this time because…I'll be gone longer than usual."

"How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know."

"I see… is there some particular reason?"

"I-I just must. I don't know where yet. Don't worry about me."

Thranduil got out of his chair and went over to his son. "I won't. I know you can take care of yourself." He put his hand briefly on his younger son's shoulder before it was shaken off.

"Goodbye father."

Thranduil stood for a long time looking back after his son had left.

….

That night, my husband was very silent and calm. I think something was bothering him, but I was scarcely in the mood to discuss it with him; I was so shaken from my experience with his son earlier in the day.

A week later, however, after we lay in bed together after making love, he tossed and turned more than usual. I knew he wasn't asleep, so I asked him if something was wrong. He denied that anything was wrong for a long while, but finally he told me that Coruven had left Mirkwood.

I sat up in bed abruptly. This was such fantastic news as I could have scarcely hoped for.

He misread my shock for horror and assured me that his son was all right but had chosen to leave for some unspecified reason.

"And you're worried about him?" I asked Thranduil.

"I am. He's so...strange. Strange in that he is just so...unhappy. He's always been so unhappy. I'm not sure what to do about it. I feel like it's my fault; that there's something that I should have done differently. He's just not like other elves."

"Like his father." I said, laying a hand gently on his cheek..

He took my hand and kissed it, but he still had that worried look in his eyes.

"My King, you haven't done anything wrong. Trust me, some people are just…unhappy. And sensitive. They need to be alone sometimes. Their emotions can cloud their thoughts and they need time to figure out what they want and how to make things right."

"You wouldn't understand; you don't have children."

His words made me suddenly grind my teeth together. "No, I don't have children. I practically am one, remember? I know a lot more about what Coruven is thinking than you do."

With that I turned to the other side of the large bed.

There was silence for a moment, then I heard him say, "I wonder if it was the death of his mother. But, on the other hand, he and Legolas are almost the same age and Legolas seems unaffected. He's a fine boy, not prone to brooding like his brother."

I was still angry, but I couldn't help asking, "What is your other son like?" I was very curious, he had not told me very much about this Legolas, and I had spent quite a bit of time lately thinking about him; hoping, praying, that he was nothing like Coruven.

"He's a fine warrior. Very brave. Very…spirited."

"He sounds like you." I said into the pillow.

"He's kinder than I am."

"Maybe I wed the wrong one." I said smiling.

The king huffed and pulled me away from that end of the bed. He kissed me all over until I admitted I was teasing and then we took each other for the second time that night.