THE SOMA SAGA II: CONTRABAND

Panting like dogs and slightly bruised up, we finally made it back to the lair in one piece. Raph switched off the lights on his helmet and slid it off his head, wiping the sweat from his brow with the other hand. I pulled my cowl off and untied the cape on my back, tossing them and the grappling hook on the back of the couch as we both flopped into its cushions limply.

"Fucking hood rats." He grumbled, unclicking the fasteners on the chest of his armor. "Ought to sign with the Yankees if they love swinging their goddamn bats so hard."

"At least you were wrapped up in your garbage can suit, dude." I fished the remote out from between the cushions, where I'd left it. "The cape doesn't help against blunt objects."

"The cape doesn't help, period." He chuckled, peeling the steel and leather off his torso. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Don't be jealous just 'cause you aren't as aerodynamic as the Turtle Titan." I teased.

"Aerodynamics don't mean shit to those Purple Dragons. Only thing they fear is strength." He flexed one bicep nonchalantly, and I hung my arms around it.

"That's why I keep you around, Tortoise Boy. Every hero needs a sidekick to play the enforcer sometimes."

"You keep telling yourself that, kiddo." He stole the remote from my hands, and lazily flipped through the channels. Other than the TV, the whole lair was silent; judging by the darkness in the lab, Leo and Don were already tucked in for the night. The two of us smelled like sweat and blood, but as Raph wrapped an arm across my shoulders, I started to notice a foreign scent.

"What's that smell, bro?" I sniffed curiously. "You step on a skunk or something?"

"Not quite. Just took a little something from the 'evidence locker'." He fished a hand into his armored leggings, and pulled out a small baggie of shredded green matter, and an orange pack labeled 'Zig Zag'. "Figure those scums ain't gonna miss it while they're in the hospital."

"You took their drugs?"

"Not like I pocketed the coke they had on 'em. Just a little pot."

"Still though…I mean, as if your cigarettes aren't gross enough. Now weed?"

"Aw, don't be such a bitch, Mike. Leo said I could smoke in the lair, just didn't say what I could smoke." He pinched some of the plant shreds into the paper in his fingers, and the room smelled even more sweetly musky. "Casey and I tried it a couple times. Hell, I heard even April's smoked once or twice."

"Humans do all kinds of stupid stuff, Raph. Doesn't mean we have to."

"You've been watching too many after-school specials." He licked the end of the paper and rolled it tightly shut. "Ain't like one puff's gonna kill you." I watched in curiosity as he clicked his lighter and turned the end of the paper to embers, hearing it crackle as he held it to his lips. The smell in the room grew tenfold as he blew a delicate ring of smoke out of his mouth.

"You're such a bad influence." I huffed, pinching the joint from his fingers as he gestured my way.

"Don't front like you don't enjoy it." Unsure of exactly what to expect, I drew in a breath as I pursed my lips around it, and my mouth filled with the potent herbal flavor. "It's good bud, too. As far as Purple Dragons' shit goes."

Reflexively, my lungs weren't used to being filled with smoke, and I keeled over in a coughing fit as he grabbed it back from me. It took a few more passes before I started to feel anything other than a burnt throat, but gradually the cartoons on TV seemed funnier and my stomach growled louder. I felt lightheaded, but not in a bad way. My mind seemed to drift in every direction, but my eyes stayed locked on the screen.

"This is…weird." I mumbled.

"You're weird." Raph shot back. "Told you it wouldn't kill you." He peeled himself off the couch and strutted into the kitchen. I unglued my eyes from the television, and didn't really notice how off the size of the room appeared as my attention caught on the light glinting off Raph's steel-plated leggings. As if he were a mind reader, he came back from the kitchen with a half-eaten box of fridge pizza in his arms, and my mouth turned into a waterfall.

"See something you like?" He shot me a grin, eyes tinged with pink, and I passed him what was left of the joint as he kicked his leggings off and rejoined me on the couch. He wrapped around me from behind, and I rested my head on his chest as he slid the pizza box onto my lap. Every sensation seemed magnified; each inch where his chest met my shell felt electric, and tastes of cool marinara and stringy cheese seemed like I'd sensed them for the first time all over again. Our legs intertwined as we finished and chucked the box aside.

"You know what Casey told me the best part of when he smoked with April was?" His hot breath smothered my ear and neck.

"The pizza?" I looked back, bleary-eyed.

"The sex." His toe dragged a line down my calf and around the ball of my ankle. "Said it was fucking mind-blowing." I rolled over to meet him, smirk to smirk.

"Then blow my mind, Tortoise Boy."


Sorry for the little sub-1k update!

Just kind of cutting up the monotony of the Leo/Don-centric Saga. Plus, who doesn't love some stoned lovin'?