Miya was terrified. She watched her best friend, the woman she considered her sister transform from her normally reasonable self into something far darker, a creature capable of almost anything. There have only been a few times that she could recall seeing Elissa this angry and while she had been completely justified in her rage, none of them had escalated to this magnitude.

Elissa was currently strapping Dr. Gavin Archer into the very machine they had just rescued his younger brother from and with each gesture, Miya could see the barely suppressed rage just below the surface and she was trying not to look in her eyes. Normally they were a bright emerald green with mirth, kindness or seriousness shining in them, but right now they were almost black. They were the only outlets for her rage right now, the only obvious indication that she was beyond reason at this point and Miya thought for a moment that if she looked in them, her soul would catch on fire. Right now the best course of action was to stay out of her way, unless she was about to do something she would regret when this was over, that would be the only time to intervene. Though right now, Miya was incredibly angry herself and might not be able to stop Elissa.

"EDI," said Elissa sharply, "are you hacked into Overlord? Do you have control of the machine?"

"I do, Shepard, and have made the changes you requested," replied EDI and her visor changed from orange to a bright blue. This was slightly unnerving to the rest of the crew.

"Shepard, what are you going to do?" asked Garrus cautiously. Somehow he seemed to sense the difference in Elissa's behavior and knew better than to outright question her.

Elissa turned to him slightly; her arms at her sides instead of crossed, as they normally would be in this situation. "It's simple, Garrus, I need information and he's the only one that can answer my questions. You can only learn so much from files."

"Shepard, please," begged Archer as she walked over to the control console. "I'll help you in whatever way I can. Just don't kill me!"

She chuckled menacingly, obviously pleased. "I seem to recall telling you before that I had a bullet with your name on it. What makes you so certain that I'll listen to you?"

Archer seemed at a loss for words though he was trying to form some kind of coherent sentence, instead just making strange sounds as he struggled not to cry. Elissa smirked as she put her finger over a specific button on the console, her smirk broadening to a slightly disturbing grin as she watched Archer struggle against the bonds. The rest of the crew stood back close to the door, they wanted to be here just incase something went wrong but part of them wanted to run away screaming.

"Why did Cerberus kidnap the students from Grissom and the Alliance Biotics division?" asked Elissa, her finger still hovering over the button.

Archer seemed torn between answering her question and just remaining silent, obviously the latter is not what Elissa wanted so she pressed the button. Suddenly Archer started convulsing violently and screaming, his body straining against the bonds that held him into Overlord. The crew stood there completely horrified at the sight.

"Feel like answering my questions now?" asked Elissa maliciously as she released the button and the convulsing stopped. Archer nodded wearily.

"Cerberus . . . wants to know . . . how biotics . . . work," he said between heavy breaths.

"Elaborate," snapped Elissa, it was not a request.

Archer nodded as best he could again. "We know so little about biotics, and it took too long to connect the abilities to eezo exposures. To find out what specifically is effected by the eezo exposure and how that generates biotics was our goal."

"That matches your notes, so I know you're telling the truth," said Elissa flatly, she was a little disappointed. "Now, here's a trickier question: how were you able to kidnap all of these people without raising suspicions?" She pressed the button quickly again, a small reminder of what will happen to him if he does not answer her right away or honestly.

"I didn't," replied Archer, panting heavily. "When I agreed to this project, all I asked for were strong biotics, I didn't care where they came from."

"Lies," hissed Elissa and she pressed the button, holding it there for a few more seconds than last time, causing Archer to have even stronger convulsions. "Tell me the truth, Archer."

He panted heavier this time when she released the button, taking a while to catch his breath before he could even move to answer. "Fine . . . I asked for the Grissom students . . . and for David . . . but I did not ask for the soldiers. The Illusive Man had them brought along."

Elissa's hand flinched slightly she had not expected this. "The Illusive Man's alive?"

"I don't know," groaned Archer in obvious discomfort. "Cerberus was dead for a while and then just started back up as if nothing had happened. I was contacted shortly after the war."

"Which saves me of asking when you decided to betray Brynn and the others," spat Jacob as he glared at Archer. "But it doesn't answer the why."

"I was destroyed!" roared Archer, having recovered from the machine. "After I left Cerberus, no one would hire me on for anything. I had so much knowledge to offer the scientific community but no one would give me the chance. Besides, once you've worked with Cerberus, it's damned near impossible to get away from them. The same goes if you're their enemy."

"So out of arrogance and fear you rejoined Cerberus," said Elissa, her voice dangerously calm. "From that you killed dozens of innocent people, mutilated their bodies, and harmed your own brother just for the notoriety and money. You're just a piece of shit, Archer, not even worth killing quickly. I have a few more questions: Why was Kaidan spared but Rahna and the others killed? Why didn't your head explode? And are there other Cerberus branches in operation?"

"Your former crewmember was spared because we planned on improving him," answered Archer, without hesitation. "He was the only L2 that kept his original implant despite advances in technology, when he was forced to upgrade, it only made him stronger. We planned on improving his overall physiology, putting every aspect of him at optimum level, and then having him train the biotics we created. The first was project L7."

"Kaidan's son you mean," snapped Elissa. "He's not a project, he's a person just like David. You seem to have forgotten that, Archer. You answered the first part of that question, now answer it completely."

"The others were meant to demonstrate what parts of the body are affected or enhanced by possessing biotics," said Archer, he sounded slightly optimistic. "They were expendable from the start, but their genetic material was not, so we took that from them and planned on using it to generate the strongest human biotics possible. Rivaling even the Asari." He paused for a moment and showed the smallest hint of remorse before he spoke again. "L7's mother was not supposed to die, she was supposed to carry him to full term and then continue to be used as a breeder. While pregnant, she developed toxemia and it was a choice between her life and L7. We chose L7 and put him in a growth tank, accelerating his growth and development so he would reach the age of biotic acknowledgement sooner."

Elissa was still stone faced but she did not press the button again, apparently Archer was telling the truth. "And your head didn't explode because?"

"I didn't have the explosive reinstalled," said Archer calmly. "That was one of my conditions for rejoining Cerberus, I didn't want to have that back in my head no matter what."

"So you were the one who activated the bombs in the others," said Elissa, her eyes flashing dangerously, as if daring Archer to contradict her. He did not.

"As for whether there are other active branches, my best guess would be yes but which ones are I don't know," continued Archer, now taking the initiative. "I'm not high up enough to have that kind of information."

"I believe you," said Elissa and then she walked away from the console. "EDI, overload the system."

"Shepard, you can't!" shouted Garrus.

"Lola, he'll die if you do that!" argued James.

Elissa did not answer them, instead she nodded to EDI whom silently obeyed the order and overloaded Project Overlord without hesitation, her disgust with Archer rivaling even Elissa's. Archer started screaming and convulsing violently, so much so that the bindings were shaking to keep him tied to the machine and he was frothing at the mouth, a truly gruesome sight to behold. Elissa motioned for EDI to return to the others without even turning around.

"Let's go," said Elissa coldly and the others followed behind her, Archer's screams echoing through the room.


Joker was confused to say the very least, just a little over half an hour ago all of the cameras and audio for the ground team had gone dark without warning. EDI had to be the one responsible but still, she would have told him about something like this before going through with it, unless she had been ordered not to. This was bad, something was going on down there that Elissa obviously did not want him and the rest of the crew to see or hear, which meant she was doing something . . . unsavory. Knowing now that Archer was involved again only confirmed his suspicion.

He glanced over at Liara whom was sitting in the co-pilot's seat with Talissa, Elissa had sent Liara and Kasumi back to the ship a little while ago with Kaidan, David Archer and some growth tank in tow. Kaidan was now unconscious in the infirmary and the growth tank was down in the starboard cargo room, both of them waiting for Elissa to return so their fate could be decided. Joker bit back a groan, while he was glad that Elissa and the others were still alive and that the plan had gone off as intended; he was not looking forward to the inevitable breakup. He wanted this no contact to go on for as long as possible, because as long as she was off of the ship, they were still together.

"Joker, are you all right?" asked Liara suddenly. He looked over and saw her concerned expression; he could only guess that she somehow knew he was not looking forward to Elissa's return.

"I'm fine," replied Joker with a slight huff. "Just tired."

Liara frowned as she caressed Talissa's head crest. "Joker, I might be the Shadow Broker but that doesn't mean I know everything in the galaxy. If you want me to help, why don't you tell me what's bothering you?"

"If I wanted your help, I would've asked for it, now wouldn't I?" snapped Joker and he immediately regretted it the moment he saw her face. "I'm sorry, Liara."

She stood up and merely patted his shoulder as she walked past him though before she left the cockpit she said, "You should have more faith in people, Jeff."

He was about to ask her what she meant but when he turned his chair around to face her, she was already gone, having closed the doors behind her. Her words echoed through his mind, repeating themselves over and over again as he considered their meaning. 'Why would she say something like that?' he wondered as he tried to reestablish a connection with the ground team's cameras and comms. No matter how many times he tried, he could not establish a connection; this proved his assumption that EDI was responsible for this blackout as she was actively blocking his attempts. Which meant it would probably be a surprise when and if the ground team decided to return. He switched the dark screens back to the feed from the Normandy, focusing on the medbay, his blood boiling just looking at Kaidan's unconscious form.

Besides the fact that he would probably wake up and charm Elissa once again, he was just as angry at his blatant betrayal of the entire crew which resulted in them being evicted from Council space and bounced from safe house to safe house. The crew did not seem to be too eager to forgive the Major, and right now there was talk of possibly executing him before he woke up and before Elissa returned. This kind of talk was why Zaeed and Kasumi were currently standing guard in the medbay, which had its bulletproof shielding over the glass. Everything was different now and would probably remain that way from now on.


Carefully Elissa zipped up another body bag, this one held the body of an Alliance biotic and was a person she knew though not well, his name was Jason Kent and had been at the FOB during the last battle of the war. She remembered him cracking a few jokes with James and offering people some liquid courage before heading off to battle, even having the nerve to suggest it to Anderson before they left. The last thing she had anticipated for him was to end up in a body bag after being a Cerberus guinea pig, she wished that he had died in London instead of living long enough to die like this.

When that was done, she stood up and looked around the reception area which was now littered with Alliance body bags, just waiting now to be buried in the mass grave they had dug using a controlled explosion of one of the bombs. She wanted to give each individual a proper burial but that was impossible right now, the best they could do was putting their bodies in separate bags so as not to create a true mass grave, and hope for a time when they could give these people the funeral they deserved. Glancing down at her wrist, she shuddered involuntarily at the sight of ten sets of dog tags wrapped around her gauntlet. She knew if she looked at the rest of the crew she would see dog tags on their wrists too, collected from the bodies they had put in bags for burial.

"How many more need to be put in a bag, Lieutenant?" asked Elissa, glancing over at her friend.

Miya was silent for a moment as she thought about how many were left. "I believe that's all of them, Commander. They're ready for burial."

Elissa nodded and then went over to James who was bent over one of the bags. "Vega, start putting the bodies in the grave. We'll hold a service for them on the Normandy."

James nodded dumbly; he was still in shock not only over the senseless massacre of these innocent people but by Elissa's behavior earlier, how she had just calmly killed Archer as if he were nothing. He knew she had acted similarly in the past; still it was one thing to hear about it and an entirely different one to witness it first hand. If he ever lived to see 150 he would never forget the way she looked today, hell it would probably haunt his nightmares.

"Vega," said Elissa sharply when he did not reply. "Where's your mind at, soldier?"

"With Archer," he replied without looking at her. "I still can't believe you did that to him, Lola. I thought you were above that kind of thing."

Elissa turned her head slowly, a hideous look on her face as she stared at James. "You think what I did to Archer was overly severe, Vega? Really? When Batarians skin other species alive and sell their skin on the black market? When Krogan will eat a Salarian while his family watches on horrified, knowing they're next?"

"Well," started James, looking anywhere but at Elissa directly, "when you put it that way—"

"When I put it that way you still think what I did was unnecessary and sadistic!" shouted Elissa, the rage evident in her face. "You think I should have simply put a bullet in his brain and been done with it, don't you?! Well guess what, that would've been too fucking good for that sick bastard!"

James wanted to argue, to tell her that she was way out of line with Archer but he could not bring himself to do it, deep down he knew she was right. He looked over and saw something in her besides rage, it was something close to regret and before he could stop himself he pulled her close, armor and all into a tight embrace. Initially she stood stock-still but a few moments later she folded against him, bringing her arms around him as best she could. They stayed that way for a number of seconds before James got up the nerve to speak again.

"Lola, this wasn't your fault," he said carefully and he felt her tense so he knew this was why she was so upset. "Nothing you could've done could've prevented this from happening."

He felt her shake her head as she tried to pull away but he kept her right where she was, even if she got out of his grasp he would probably hug her again anyway.

"James, if I had killed him before, this could've been avoided," said Elissa, swallowing a sob. "I knew what kind of a man he was but I still didn't do anything about him. If I had killed him the first time we met then—"

"Then Cerberus would've found someone just as loco to carry out their plan," interrupted James, pulling away so he could look her in the eyes. "Lola, this could've been so much worse, there are always terrible people in the world but at least you knew this one. If it had been an unknown enemy, then you might've let him live for this and he'd have gone on to do something worse."

Elissa shrugged weakly, her eyes cast on the floor, though she seemed to have calmed down somewhat. "Maybe, but that still doesn't change things. Archer still was responsible for these peoples' deaths, and by extension me."

James grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to look at him. "Listen to me, Shepard, this was not your fault! Nothing done here was because of you or your choices! You need to accept that. Sometimes people are just evil and can't be stopped right away."

"You're making a lot of sense, James," said Elissa with a feeble laugh. "I wish my heart can accept it as much as my brain."

"Don't worry, Lola, it'll get there eventually," replied James and he kissed her cheek. "Come on, we have to get these poor souls buried and you back to your ship."


"Normandy this is shuttle two requesting entrance," said Hilary as she flew up to the Normandy's bay doors.

"Shuttle two this is Normandy, stand by for docking procedures," said Joker and Elissa smiled, never had she been so happy to hear his voice. When this was all wrapped up, they would get married, nothing would stop them.

"Hey, Shepard," said Garrus suddenly. "What are we going to do about Sanctuary? How do we prevent Cerberus from just retaking it."

Elissa smiled as she held up a detonation trigger, the button on top flashing red and instantly Garrus knew what she planned on doing. Moments later a visual of Sanctuary came up on the shuttle's screen and she pressed the button, almost instantly the entire building went up in smoke and flames.

"I'm glad we buried those people when we had the chance," muttered Jacob. "Now I just have to tell Brynn what happened, she won't be very happy to hear that Archer went crawling back to Cerberus."

"Maybe we should've questioned him further," said Garrus as he rolled his shoulders, obviously exhausted. "We didn't get many answers."

"Most of what I asked was already answered in his notes and the other files we took," replied Elissa sternly. "The only question that mattered was why Rahna died and what the hell he was doing back with Cerberus. I didn't expect him to admit that the Illusive Man was still alive."

Miya shook her head. "The fact that bastard's still alive doesn't sit well with me. I mean you saw him shoot himself, Lizzie! This doesn't make any fucking sense."

"I know," said Elissa calmly. "I did see him die so this could mean that either the real Illusive Man is back or someone else has taken up his identity to run Cerberus for themselves. Just like Miranda's message said. Though honestly, this is the least of my concerns. I'm much more eager to speak with Kaidan, you know, before I decide whether or not to launch him out of the airlock."

"Javik would've been proud of that statement," chuckled Garrus warmly.

"Shepard, if it comes down to that outcome, could I be the one to do it?" asked EDI and everyone stared at her.

"You're starting to scare me, EDI," said Elissa warily, wondering if she had triggered something in EDI by having her kill Archer.

"Don't be scared, Shepard, I have not decided to destroy my creators," said EDI and Elissa smiled, she was making a joke now. "When Major Alenko attempted to board the Normandy while you were in prison, he tried hacking into my systems to release a virus, nearly destroyed the hull and sent endless waves of spam into the Normandy's computers."

"So you want revenge for him assaulting you?" asked Elissa, both confused and surprised that EDI would react this way to Kaidan's attacks.

EDI nodded. "Exactly. I would very much like to be the one who executes him."

"That'll only happen if I suspect he's going to cause trouble," warned Elissa.

"Besides that, there's a huge line between you and Kaidan of people wanting to execute him," said Garrus, cracking his knuckles menacingly. "Maybe we can all take turns."

"Like I said, that'll have to wait until I determine his threat level," said Elissa sternly and then the doors to the shuttle opened. "Speaking of which, I'm going to head to the medbay, to see if Kaidan's willing to talk."

"Sounds good, Lola, just let us know if you need backup," said James as she left the shuttle, nodding to him.


Elissa stood outside of the locked medbay door, still in full armor and stinking of burned flesh, but she could have cared less at that point in time. She knew she had to do this, for the sake of her sanity and the crew but even knowing that did not make this any easier for her, if anything she wanted to run in the other direction. It was time to bite the bullet and finally close this chapter of her life.

"EDI," said Elissa to the ceiling, "override medbay lockdown, access code 117439-S."

"Code recognized," said EDI and the lock on the medbay changed from red to green and opened faster than she would have liked. Taking as deep a breath as she could manage, she crossed the threshold.

"Shepard," said Chakwas when she saw her. "I was wondering when you'd show up. God you smell terrible."

"Thanks, Karin," said Elissa with a brief smile. "Zaeed, Kasumi, what are you doing here?"

"Guarding this man's sorry ass," growled Zaeed. "Too many of the crew wanting to kill him, so Joker thought it would be best to put the medbay on lockdown and have us standing here in case any of the crew felt ballsy."

"That's not how Joker put it, but I guess it's close enough," said Kasumi from somewhere beside Elissa. "How did things go down there, Shep? You know, after we left."

Elissa was barely able to keep herself calm, just thinking about Sanctuary sent her heart racing and made her temper flare up dangerously. "Sanctuary's no more. We have all of their files, buried the bodies, and took care of the man responsible."

"Sounds more like a report than a detailed account," muttered Kasumi, she had been hoping for more details than just the basics.

Zaeed on the other hand, understood exactly how precarious Elissa's mental state was at this time and thought best not to press her for any details. "Are you here to interrogate Alenko, Shepard?"

"I am, though he doesn't seem to be awake," said Elissa grimly. She wanted this over and done with, not dragged out to the point of agony.

"No, no, I'm awake," said Kaidan as he turned to look at her and her blood went cold. "God, you look like hell."

"You're one to talk, Alenko," she said stiffly as she sat down in the chair beside his bed. She had a moment of déjà vu from the times she had visited him in the hospital after his attack on Mars, how different things had been then compared to now.

"Should we leave, Shepard?" asked Chakwas as she gathered her things.

Elissa shook her head. "No, I want witnesses. EDI's good but I don't want to burden her further with human atrocities."

"Is that what you think of me now, Shepard?" asked Kaidan, anger briefly flaring behind his hazel eyes.

"Yes," said Elissa firmly. "You betrayed us, Alenko. You sold us out to the Council, left Jeff and me to rot in prison, tried to steal my ship! And the worst of it is, I think you had been planning this for a long time."

Kaidan looked away from her, clenching and unclenching his fists before he spoke. "Shepard, what I'm about to tell you will either make you hate me or forgive me."

"Go on," she said, her stomach twisting into agonizing knots.

"I've had this plan since after Horizon," he said quietly. "It wasn't my plan though, it was originally Udina's. After I saw you and fought the Collectors, I went to him and Anderson for clarification about the situation. Anderson basically stonewalled me, just like he did you, and told me to drop the subject; you were doing what was needed, end of story. For Udina though, it was just the beginning. He wanted to get you, Shepard he was out for blood."

Elissa sighed heavily. "Let me guess, he felt slighted for me giving the promotion of 'First Human Councilor' to Anderson instead of him?"

Kaidan nodded firmly. "Exactly, he wanted to ruin you like you'd ruined him. So he enlisted my help in bringing you down."

"Any particular reason you were so eager to team up with Undina?" sneered Elissa.

"Shepard, I was angry, okay?" he said with an exasperated tone. "I was angry, and I felt just as betrayed by you as Udina did if not more. I'm not justifying what I did, but I'm telling you the motivation behind my actions. Anyway, I started collecting Intel on you, starting from Freedom's Progress onward. I even contacted Hackett, asking for copies of your reports to see if they matched up with what was being reported. I also contacted that Yeoman of yours, Kelly, asking her to send me your mental evaluations. I wanted something on you, Shepard, anything that would tell me I was right for walking away from you on Horizon."

"Did you get anything?" asked Elissa through clenched teeth.

"Nothing," admitted Kaidan. "All I got were the answers I didn't want. You were being you; nothing was wrong with you mentally, you still acted the paragon you've always been, and you were going to be the hero once again. What pissed me off even more was the fact I was staring my stupidity right in the face, after everything I went through to besmirch your name, I came back with information worthy of awards and accolades. I mean, even on that goddamn asteroid, you still tried to warn the Batarian home world instead of radioing for help."

"If you couldn't find anything on me, why'd Jeff and I get tried for treason?" asked Elissa, now even more curious than she had been.

"I'm getting to that," said Kaidan with a small smile. "Like I said, I didn't get the answers I wanted and when I showed Udina he was pissed, he didn't want to hear that you were going to be a hero again. He wanted to hear that you were causing mayhem and chaos throughout the galaxy; he wanted to be the one who was right. Nothing I brought him satisfied that need, and so he told me that he was going to try and revoke your Spectre status through other means. I didn't know what he meant and by that time, I didn't care, I just wanted to be the first one to congratulate you for blasting the Collectors back to the Stone Age."

"Get to the part where you kicked Shepard under the bus," sneered Zaeed and Kaidan glared at him.

"Fine," huffed Kaidan. "After I was brought back from the dead, and was lying in a hospital bed waiting for you, Udina came to visit me. He offered me the position of Spectre but there was a price, I would have to spy for him otherwise he'd reveal what I did for him to Anderson and Hackett. He said if I didn't agree or failed to comply he'd release documents to the public implicating you and Joker in various crimes, and show that you were still affiliated with Cerberus despite your surrender. The last thing I wanted was for that to get released, so I agreed to spy for him. I didn't do anything really, just tweaked a few reports to read 'Classified' and sent them to him. He couldn't verify whether what I was saying was actually classified or not otherwise it would reveal what he was doing. So I kept up my end by doing nothing and kept you safe in the process."

Elissa wanted to laugh and cry, this was so strange, too surreal to be true. But she could not see any trace of deception in Kaidan's face, and she had always been able to read him like a book. "What happened after the coup?"

"I went and tried to get the files but his office was locked up tight," replied Kaidan. "I should've tried to get in and seize everything he had that could be used against you, true or not, but I didn't. I thought that with Udina dead, none of his threats would come to fruition; I thought we were safe from all of that. Then Sparatus contacted me after the war. Turns out he had had all of Udina's files forwarded to him and he came across the fabricated ones about you and Joker. I told him they were forged, that Udina had made them up as a means of blackmailing me but he didn't care, he wanted to go after you. He still had a grudge from when we accused Saren of being a traitor and he was angry that you had allowed Primarch Victus's son to die at Cerberus's hands either."

"So he basically thought I was an enemy to the Turians but couldn't come out and say it," sighed Elissa.

"That's exactly it," said Kaidan and he rubbed his eyes. "He wanted my help in bringing you down, just like Udina, and when I tried to refuse he said he'd make sure you were executed. He told me that he'd give you over to the remaining Batarians and let them decide how you'd die and I couldn't' let that happen. So while Sparatus was scheming to bring you down, I was secretly making plans of my own, ones that would allow you to escape and get you on the course to clearing your name."

"I'm sorry, but weren't you the man that was trying to steal my ship?" asked Elissa skeptically.

Kaidan nodded and then shrugged. "I didn't ask for the Normandy outright, I just hinted to Sparatus that it would be an ideal ship for a Spectre. My plan was to obtain the Normandy and then help you escape, what I didn't plan on was you having made your own arrangements as far as security and countermeasures. For some stupid reason I thought you'd accept being put in prison without any problem. Anyway, another part of my plan was to have you hate me before being put in prison and finding out how much of a hand in your arrest I had. So I starting acting like a complete jackass and asked EDI to help me."

Now Elissa was very confused. "How did you get EDI to help you? What did she do?"

"I asked her a few times to argue with Joker and make it seem like she was angry at him for being attracted to you," he said. "She also lied a couple of times too, saying that she had asked me for advice on organic behavior and I had misinterpreted it so I acted like an asshole as a result. I didn't mean for things to go so far that I'd try to punch him, but all I saw was everything collapsing and when you got out of the taxi with Joker . . . I knew things were over."

"But nothing happened between him and me that night!" protested Elissa though she knew she was lying through her teeth, they had kissed that night as she had wanted to for years.

Kaidan smirked smugly at her and shook his head. "Shepard, I'm many things, but blind isn't one of them. I saw the way you two looked at each other, how much you cared about him, and I knew you'd never feel that way about me. I mean, you and he were friends for years before I even came into your life. I knew eventually something would develop between you two, and I wanted to help it along, that's why I convinced EDI to break up with Joker. I told her that he'd only be happy with you and that you'd only be happy with him, which she agreed with. I figured my last gift to you would be the man of your dreams, so you could fly off in the sunset and be happy. I didn't want you to be alone in life, and I've always known about your feelings for Joker even when you denied them."

"So you purposefully pushed Jeff and I together?" asked Elissa, completely blown away by his admission and he nodded. "But I mean, you proposed! You had stuff for our wedding already figured out—"

"No, I didn't," said Kaidan sternly. "I lied about that too, honestly I had nothing planned. I said all of that so you'd get annoyed with me and I'd seem like some control freak, like I said before, I had to play the part of the jackass to protect you. I didn't want to and after all we'd been through, it nearly killed me to treat you like crap but I had to do it. You and I couldn't be together when you went away and I needed you to hate me somewhat so when some stuff surfaced, you wouldn't be surprised. And yes, I proposed, but again that was part of my plan. Even though I loved you, I couldn't bring myself to marry you for real, not after all I had done."

"So did you make up that stuff about Rahna?" asked Elissa quietly.

"No, that was true," said Kaidan softly. "I was seeing her while I was still with you, and she knew it too, but she helped me keep tabs on you while you were in prison. She was Joker's doctor and knew some of what was going on in there; she wanted to help you as much as I did. And before you ask, no, she was not happy at all with what I did but helped regardless because you saved her life once."

"When? I'm sure I'd have remembered seeing her someplace," said Elissa, confused.

"It was before you and I knew each other," said Kaidan with a slight chuckle. "You were stopping a terrorist group from bombing Turkey and when one of them grabbed her to take hostage, you killed him and gave her time to run."

"Shit, that was at the beginning of my career, I was barely out of N-school then," said Elissa with a fond smile. "I had no idea that was her."

Kaidan chuckled again. "Well, she remembered you and was determined to help you in anyway she could. Anyway, Rahna helped keep tabs on you while you were in prison and I made sure that you and Joker were able to be together. After you left the Citadel, she and I got married."

Elissa had determined that much already, but still, it hurt to hear that he had cheated on her with Rahna then married her. "I see. So was that you in Purgatory? When Aria died?"

"What? Aria's dead?!" exclaimed Kaidan. "Shepard, I don't know who you saw but that wasn't me. I didn't even know where you had gone to when you left the Citadel, I was still trying to cover your tracks and prevent anyone from chasing after you to wherever you had run off to. Are you sure you saw someone that looked like me?"

"Yes, the man I saw could've been your twin," replied Elissa and she felt a wave of nausea suddenly crash over her, though she was not sure from what. "There's something you need to know, when we were at Sanctuary, we found Rahna's body . . . and your son still alive."

Kaidan looked as if he were going to be sick instead of her. "Rahna's dead?"

"I'm so sorry," said Elissa and she swallowed the bile that had risen in her throat. "And your son's in a growth tank down in the cargo hold, he's unharmed but I thought it would be your place to decide his fate."

"Rahna wasn't even supposed to get pregnant," said Kaidan in a hoarse voice. "The last time she was, she lost the baby and the doctors told her that she was a high risk pregnancy. How? How did this happen?"

Elissa worried her bottom lip. "Cerberus artificially impregnated her with an embryo, he's yours and hers but not naturally conceived." When Kaidan did not reply, she stood up from the chair. "I think I'll leave you now, Alenko. You've told me everything I wanted to know right now and then some. When you're healthy again, we'll decide whether you stay on the Normandy or not."

"How can you leave now?!" cried Kaidan, tears now streaming down his face. "You just told me that my wife's dead! And that I have a son made by fucking Cerberus!"

"And you just told me you cheated on me and why you betrayed me, I think we're even," said Elissa coldly and she left the medbay, intent on seeing Joker.


"What do you mean you're leaving?!" demanded Hilary as Joker set course for the Kepler Verge cluster, as Liara and Elissa had requested.

"I can't be on this ship anymore, Hil," he said though it almost killed him. "I'm not going to be just sit here and lose the woman I love to some asshole."

Hilary rolled her eyes. "But Elissa's not leaving you! She's just talking to Major Alenko, nothing's going to happen between them. She's done with him."

Joker snorted. "I was foolish enough to hope for that once before, but she still held a torch for that bastard."

"And you started dating EDI!" retorted Hilary, tears in her blue eyes as she fought the urge to hit her brother as hard as she possibly could so she could knock some sense into him.

"After they started mending their relationship," argued Joker, trying not to clench his teeth. "I waited for as long as I could, Hil, and even with the world ending around us I waited. But I was done with waiting and EDI seemed perfect for me, so I thought I'd be selfish and snag some happiness for myself before I died."

Hilary crossed her arms tightly against her chest. "And now? You seriously think Elissa's going to go back to him? Jeff, she loves you! She has for a long, long time but you never acted like you reciprocated. She told me that herself, and don't even think of using Dixon as an excuse for not doing anything. He was dead before Elissa and Alenko even met, there was plenty of time for you to make your move."

Joker sighed as he eased himself out of his chair. "Hil, you're too young to understand. I'm just acting preemptively so I can protect myself when the inevitable blow comes."

"You're a coward, Jeff Moreau!" shouted Hilary. "You can't leave!"

"What's going on?" asked Elissa as she entered the cockpit. "Who's leaving?"

Hilary glared at Joker who merely shrugged.

"I am," he said sternly, barely able to look in her eyes as he spoke. "I can't serve on this ship anymore, Commander."

Elissa looked as if he had just shot her. "Wha-why? Jeff, what's wrong?"

Joker squared his shoulders as best he could. "I'm not going to sit here and watch you go back to Alenko, and I'm damn sure not going to let you break my heart. So I figure it would be best for all of us if I just left, I'll be staying with Feron on the Shadow Broker's ship and help him in whatever way I can."

"You honestly think I'd go back to Alenko after all he's done?" asked Elissa, now breathless. "Jeff, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, why would you think otherwise?"

"Because he's everything I'm not," replied Joker bitterly. "And you're still not over him, are you? You were just with me to fill an empty space in your bed."

"That's bullshit, Jeff!" shouted Elissa, her face flushed with anger. "I love you and I want to be with you! What makes you think I've ever considered going back to him? He treated me like crap!"

"You went back to him after Horizon!" snapped Joker. "And if I recall correctly, he treated you like crap then too! It doesn't seem to matter how he treats you, does it? So long as he's the perfect man, you don't care!"

Elissa was torn between crying and punching him, she had no idea where any of this was coming from and she was distressed to think he would actually leave her. "You rejected me!" she said. "I tried to tell you time after time after I came back that I loved you, but you kept me at arms' length, telling me that you didn't date crewmembers and that regs were in the way. You practically pushed me to him!"

"I might've pushed you away but I didn't want you to go back to him!" shouted Joker and he could feel himself weakening, everything she said was true and he knew he was acting like a fool.

"Then what did you want me to do, Jeff? Sit around and wait for death?" she demanded. "Not have a life with someone, just continue being some chaste leader who denies the fact she's a human being with needs? As I recall, you're always the one telling me I'm just a human."

Another blow to his resolve, she was certainly giving just as well as she was getting.

"I'm going down to the mess," he mumbled as he walked past her, not even daring to look at her as he left. He arrived at the elevator just as it was opening, revealing Miya who had changed into her BDUs and looked as if she had had a shower.

"Hey, Jeff," she said as she exited the elevator but he said nothing back as he stepped in and closed the door. She merely shrugged and brushed it off as one of his many moods and headed to the cockpit where she figured Elissa might be, when she entered through the doors she saw Elissa in a crying heap on the floor, her head in Hilary's lap.

"It's okay, Lissa," said Hilary, trying to be consoling but struggling with her own tears. She was so angry with her brother she could barely see straight.

"Oh fuck," muttered Miya as she sprinted to Elissa's side, falling to her knees beside her. "What happened, Hilary?"

"She and Jeff had a nasty fight," said Hilary as she stroked Elissa's hair. "He said he was going to leave the Normandy because he didn't want to see her crawl back to Major Alenko. Then he said that she would go back to him even though he mistreated her."

Miya shook with fury, that was it, she had had it with Joker and his stupidity. "Where'd he go?"

"Miya, don't," whispered Elissa as she turned to look up at the pink-haired woman. "Don't kill him over this, I can see where he's coming from."

"Lizzie, he basically accused you of being a woman who enjoys being in an abusive relationship!" Miya all but screeched. "How in hell is that okay?"

"It isn't, but he's upset," said Elissa as she sat up and wiped her eyes. "If he wants to leave, then that's fine with me. Just as long as he's happy, I don't care."

Miya gaped at her in disbelief. "What the hell is wrong with you, Lizzie?! Why aren't you angry? What happened to the demon we saw in Sanctuary?! How can you even be okay with this? It's pathetic!"

"I don't know, Miya, maybe I'm just over this kind of shit," she said wearily as she stood up, swaying slightly. "I'm going to go find Garrus and James, we're making plaques for the memorial later. By the way, how's Jack?"

"Still strapped in that chair screaming behind her gag," said Miya, barely able to keep her fury hidden. "We're going to have to release her sometime."

Elissa nodded. "I know, I know. We will when we're ready for the memorial. Maybe she'll have calmed down by then."

"Yeah, okay," said Miya, already calculating how she was going to fix Joker's mess. "Have fun with Garrus and Vega."

"I will," said Elissa as she left. "Oh, and tell Chakwas to release Miranda."

Miya's jaw nearly hit the floor. "What? Why?"

"I can't see any reason to keep her locked up anymore," replied Elissa. "She might have lied to us, but we didn't have any civilian casualties on Rannoch and we could use her help with tracking down Cerberus."

"Fine, I will," said Miya somewhat pleasantly. She knew she would probably find Joker close by, he rarely ventured anywhere beyond the crew deck unless he was in his quarters, which she was sure he was not. With a nod to Hilary she went to catch up with Elissa at the elevator, determined to fix this for her sister.


Joker poked that the food Rupert had given him; it was just some kind of beige sludge that was supposed to be a casserole of some sort but that was not why he had lost his appetite. He had royally screwed up with Elissa, he had let his paranoia and jealousy get the better of him when he should have known nothing was going to happen between her and Kaidan. Now he would probably have to leave the ship, even if he begged to stay.

"You're an absolute, total idiot, Jeff Moreau!" shouted someone and then he felt something collide with the back of his skull. It was not hard enough to crack anything but it was hard enough to make him see stars, when they cleared he was face to face with Miya and he wished the stars would return.

"What took you so long, Miya," groaned Joker as he rubbed the bump that was now forming on the back of his head where her hand had collided with him.

"I had to check on Jack and give her another small sedative," she said, looking him square in the face. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Why in hell would you go off on Lizzie like that?! She didn't do anything wrong and she hasn't given you any indication that she was going to leave you, has she?"

"I—" started Joker but Miya cut him off.

"No, she hasn't," she said, slamming her hands down on the metal table for emphasis. "Actually, all she's talked about with me these last few weeks is how excited she is to marry you, though now I'm pretty sure she's ready to kill herself."

Joker paled, that was the last thing he had expected Miya to say. "Don't even joke about something like that, Miya."

"I'm not," said Miya with an irritated snort. "You didn't see how weird she got after you left, I mean within minutes she just went numb and had no emotion really. After she stopped crying that is."

He buried his face in his hands; he did not want to hear that he had made her cry. "I'm so fucking stupid."

"Preaching to the choir here, dumbass," said Miya as she sat down across from him. "So, how are you going to fix this mess you've gotten yourself into?"

"What makes you think Elissa wants me back?" asked Joker with a sigh. "She hasn't come up here to say anything and I'm a little scared to go down to the shuttle bay. James and Garrus might try to kill me."

Miya rolled her eyes. "Can you possibly get any more stupid? You started this and now you have to finish it, fear be damned. Now, I'm going to tell you exactly what you need to do to get started fixing this mess you've gotten yourself into."


"How's that plaque coming, Lola?" asked James as he finished off one of his, polishing it up nicely.

"Fine," mumbled Elissa. They had been at this for a few hours now, carefully constructing each memorial plaque and engraving each one with a name they had recorded off of the dog tags. She had insisted that they put one dog tag from each soldier on their plaque, as a slightly better memorial but with every intention of sending the other to their families. They needed to know what happened to their child, even if they were spared the gorier details. She herself was working on a specific plaque, one the other two had offered to do in her stead but she had refused, this one was hers alone.

"I finished Adams' plaque," said James softly as he held it up, showing off the well-carved letters and some extra details such as small tools etched across the side. Considering they were no longer bound by Alliance regs, these memorial plaques could look like they wanted and would remain that way even if they were accepted back.

Elissa smiled kindly, it was well done and she knew Adams would have approved. "It looks really good, Jimmy. I approve."

James flashed her a pleased smile. "Thanks, Lola. You know, this is actually pretty depressing, more so than I thought it would be."

"I agree," replied Elissa as she started up a torch. "It's so sad to see someone's life reduced to just a piece of metal with their name on it."

"I felt the same way when Alenko made yours," said Garrus softly. "I'm glad he didn't put it up there on the wall, but still it was a hard fact to face."

Elissa nodded as she started to attach a dog tag to the plaque she was working on, being very careful not to cross the flame over to where the letters were. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin this after spending so much time making the details as accurate as possible. They continued their respective work in silence.

"Hey, Vega," came Miya's voice over the intercom sometime later, echoing in the large shuttle bay. "Miranda's out of lockup and wants to see you. And Garrus, Tali's been looking everywhere for you, she wanted to ask you something about a purchase."

James and Garrus both sighed heavily though for different reasons and put down their tools before heading towards the elevator.

"Have fun!" called Elissa as she turned off her torch, now having finished the plaque at last, she held it up to the light and admired her handy work for a moment very pleased with the finished result. She put it down and wiped her brow, this had been much harder and had taken a lot longer than she had originally thought. Now she was done and she could go upstairs to change into her blues, even though technically she was not supposed to wear them anymore, she thought for a military memorial they would be more appropriate.

Suddenly she heard quick footsteps approaching her position, before she had the chance to react to them she felt hands on her waist and then she was spun around, she was barely able to register that it was Joker before he kissed her. His kiss was deep and passionate, just like it normally was but there was something slightly different about this one, there was more power behind it and she melted easily into his embrace. For a moment she forgot that they had had a terrible fight, that he had said he would leave her, instead she just enjoyed the kiss and all of the sensations it brought with it.

Joker pulled his lips away after a time and just stared at her, his eyes locked with hers as if he were trying to convey some kind of message. "Elissa," he whispered cupping her cheek, "I am so sorry for what happened earlier. I'm the biggest idiot to ever live, and will completely understand if you want me off your ship. I acted like a jackass to protect myself, I didn't want to hear that you wanted to break up with me but at the same time, I didn't want hear you say you weren't going to. I'm not good enough for you, and I never will be. That's mostly why I freaked out; I know there are men better suited for you than me and I just wanted to leave before I saw myself proven right. Please, forgive me."

He went to pull away and leave but Elissa held him fast, keeping him in her arms.

"I do forgive you," she said in a rough whisper, she was close to tears again despite her better judgment. "I love you, Jeff. You're everything I've ever wanted in a husband, in a friend, and if anything I'm not good enough for you. You should have someone mentally stable; who doesn't have a whole lot of baggage, but for some reason you picked me. The very opposite of those things. And I should have known your feelings towards having Alenko back on board, all I was thinking of was getting answers from him, nothing more, I swear."

Joker laughed, he could not help it. Here he was terrified that he would never be good enough for the Savior of the Galaxy when she was worried that she was not good enough for him, a mere pilot. Not only that but he should have trusted that her intentions regarding Kaidan were completely professional. The irony was unbelievable and made him feel even more stupid but for some reason he did not really care.

"We are probably the strangest couple on this boat," he laughed, pulling her in for another hug. "So do our concerns cancel each other out now?"

Elissa chuckled. "I guess so, I mean, if they didn't then we'd just by super sensitive to everything the other did. Which is what happened, I suppose."

"Since when have you been concerned that you weren't good enough for me?" asked Joker, waggling his eyebrows. "If I recall, it's been mostly me jumping at the slightest hint of insecurity."

"Well," she said shyly, "I was jealous when I saw you ogling EDI when she came in as a blonde bombshell. And this will sound ridiculous, but whenever I've had to kill someone and then face you, all I can see is the blood on my hands. That's been going on since after N-school."

Joker sighed and held her as tight as he could manage. "I guess I really do bring out the humanity in you, Ellie. And you do the same for me, before I met you I thought people just saw my disease, so I closed myself off. You came along and basically brought me back to the human race."

Elissa smiled at him then kissed him softly. "I'm glad humanity didn't lose you, my life would've been incredibly boring without you."

"So would've mine," teased Joker. "Anyway, maybe we should go change, we do have a memorial to hold. Is Zaeed still going to stand guard over Alenko?"

"Yes, and he will until I decide otherwise," replied Elissa as they started walking hand in hand to the elevator. "And I've decided to release Miranda, there's no reason to hold her any longer that I can see. Though that might change when I do hear her confession, but I plan on doing that after things have calmed down a bit."

Joker tried not to groan, he trusted Elissa's decisions regarding their ship but he still was uneasy about letting Miranda out of her holding cell.

"I know you don't approve," said Elissa as she pressed the button to call the elevator. "But think of it this way, with Miranda out and working with David and EDI, we have a better chance of figuring out what Cerberus is doing; and we have a nice cozy place to keep Kaidan if necessary."

"I like the way you think," chuckled Joker, squeezing her hand as they stepped in. "So you really do forgive me for being so pigheaded and boorish?"

"Only if you can forgive me for not talking my plan through with you to take Alenko alive," she said as the door closed. "And for not making it clear enough to you that you're the only man I want."

Joker grinned. "You're forgiven, Ellie."

"As are you, Jeff," she said brightly and kissed him. "You know, I did like your kiss and apology combo."

"Actually, that was Miya's idea," said Joker, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "I was wracking my brain for an idea of how to apologize then she came along, and told me that the best course of action would be to kiss you like I meant it and apologize honestly. If that hadn't of worked, I think I would've really left the ship, unable to face you after acting like such an ass."

Elissa laughed. "I knew you weren't serious about leaving the ship, you'd sooner die than give your pilot's seat to Steve or Hilary. And I'd have come up with some way to stop you from leaving, the Normandy needs her heart after all."

"I love you, Elissa," sighed Joker and they remained silent for the rest of the short trip to their cabin.


The Normandy was quiet as the crew left their posts, dressed in their blues they descended to the third deck, the crew deck and made their way to the memorial wall, which appeared to have been reconditioned to incorporate the new plaques. Their Commander, XO, and pilot were already standing there in their blues with solemn looks on their faces. Beside the pilot was their former XO, her grey eyes on all of them as they entered, holding onto a very broken looking woman whose tattoos seemed to have lost their luster. They knew why, that was why they were here, to mourn with her and to honor their own. When they had filed in completely, the service started.

"Today we honor the death and sacrifice of fifty-three brave individuals," started Elissa in a steady and clear voice, though they all could hear the melancholy kept at bay. "They were not all of our crew, but that doesn't matter now, they were ours by association. Some fought beside us during the Battle for Earth, others we knew through our friends, and some served under our own." She looked to Jack for a brief moment before continuing. "They died at the hands of the enemy, not through battle with an unknown but by unparalleled brutality by our own kind, and so long as I'm alive they will not have died in vain. But now is not the time for revenge, now is a time of quiet remembrance and to bring them to peace. I will start by placing the first plaque on the memorial wall, and after me others will as well whom have received one prior, then you will each be given one from Lieutenant Vega to place as well."

Without another word, Elissa accepted the first plaque from James and turned to the wall; before she placed the first one up she scanned the names of those whom had died before now. There were twenty-one from the crew of the SR-1 and three from the SR-2, all of these deaths were on her conscience even if she knew logically she could not have prevented them though of all of the deaths, Ashley Williams' weighed heavily on her. She had been put in an impossible situation, yes, but she still had had to choose between which of her friends she saved that day. If she ever saw Ash again, in any world, she would ask her forgiveness.

Taking a deep breath she placed the plaque in its designated spot and walked to where Joker was standing, they put their arms around each other's shoulders and looked at the wall, their eyes focused on the new addition. The plaque read: Rahna Alenko. Along the edges were the faint imprints of ivy vines and leaves Elissa had put on based on the etchings on Rahna's wedding band. Tali was next to put a plaque on the wall, when she stepped back they all smiled, she had had the honor of putting Adams' plaque on the wall since she had known and worked with him longer than any of the other engineers. The crew queued and did as Elissa had instructed, each took a plaque or two and put them where they were told: some whispering prayers from various faiths, others saluting the wall when they were finished. Each honoring the fallen in their own way.

David approached Elissa after he had finished at the wall; admittedly she was surprised that he was unharmed from Overlord but from what Chakwas had told her, his damage was very minimal compared to the first time he had been in the machine. Which was good news, however small.

"Commander Shepard," said David softly. "I'm sorry for what my brother did to your friends, I tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen."

Elissa smiled at David. "This wasn't your fault, and no one's blaming you either. Your brother acted of his own accord and his actions are his responsibility alone. I'm just glad that you're alive."

"Thanks to you," he said, his dark eyes shining with unshed tears. "You've saved my life three times now and I have no way to repay you." Elissa looked as if she was about to speak but he pressed on, preventing her. "That being said, I wish to offer my services to you as an engineer. I know a great deal about the Normandy from when I attempted to hack her systems, and it would be a privilege and honor to help maintain her."

Joker and Elissa looked at each other and smiled, they both liked this idea a great deal.

"If you're serious about wanting to assist Tali, Ken, and Gabby then I see no reason why you can't," replied Elissa, putting a hand on David's shoulder. "Speak with Tali, she's now de facto Chief Engineer and should be able to give you access to the necessary systems."

David beamed. "Thank you, Commander Shepard." He then started walking towards Tali, a new spring in his step as he did, probably excited about getting started as an engineer.

"Good thinking," whispered Joker and he squeezed her gently.

Elissa said nothing but merely smiled as she continued watching the crew adding plaque after plaque to the wall. Even Miranda had placed a few plaques, and when she and Elissa made eye contact she smiled genuinely at her, which Elissa returned knowing in her heart she had made the right decision after all. When all of the names were on the wall, they stood back and saluted the wall one last time.

With slight trepidation, Elissa cleared her throat, there was one last part to the memorial and she knew she would have to be the one to start it. She started to sing. "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me."

Gabby and Miranda joined in with her. "I once was lost, but now am found; was blind but now I see!"

The crew then took up the song, even those from different species knew the words, which did not surprise Elissa; most had been to several human funerals and memorials. Their voices mingled together in a beautiful collective, echoing through the deck with a strength and clarity none would hear again.

Elissa stopped singing and looked to Joker, who still was and felt a rush of love towards him, yes he had been an ass but not in the same way Kaidan had been. He had just been scared of losing her again, and she had done nothing to really show that he was the one who possessed her heart alone. That had to change, and soon. "Jeff," she whispered in his ear, "will you marry me?"

Joker turned to look at her, astonishment on his face that quickly changed into absolute joy. "Yes, Elissa, I will marry you."