Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit, this story is not for profit, everything belongs to Tolkien.

Author's Note: I would like to thank everybody who followed/favorited/reviewed this story last chapter. I'm sorry for the delay! Your support means so much!

Chapter 20

I hated to admit that Thranduil was right, but disciplining the boys was a fantastic idea. With the right balance of love and firmness they grew to be quite acceptable little princes. The children grew very close to their older brother Legolas, who they went out with almost every day to shoot their arrows or climb or just generally go on adventures.

And Legolas usually went where Tauriel went; he followed her like her very own shadow.

They grew up very quickly. One moment they were little toddlers learning to walk on their chubby little legs, and then it seemed like I woke up one day and they were little boys, eight years old, strong and clever with minds of their own.

Those were good years.

I visited Laketown once or twice, but other than that I did not leave Mirkwood. I longed to know how things were in the south, whether my cousin Baldrick was still the ruler of Lebennin or whether my brother Fiske was still alive, but news of Gondor did not reach us. The people of Mirkwood didn't care much for the goings on in the realm of men, and I didn't want to upset Thranduil by asking. I learned to be content at home with my husband and my children and my friends.

Our arguments during that time were scarce, and when they happened they were usually about our children, but I remember one argument we had one night that wasn't about the children.

It was midsummer, and we sat around feasting and laughing. I was saying something to Esteldes, who was sitting on the other side of me when I noticed that she seemed a little distracted. I followed her eyes across the table and saw that Rumon was staring back at her.

The look in their eyes said it all.

Later that evening, Thranduil was writing something on his desk and I was strumming a harp in our chambers when I said, "It looks like we will be having a wedding in Mirkwood soon."

"Hmm?" He murmured from his desk.

"Rumon and Esteldes. I think it will not be long now before they are married."

At that he put his quill down and turned to me. "Rumon and Esteldes? Married? Why would you say that?"

"Honestly, my king, have you not seen the way they look at each other?"

"No." He was silent for a moment, as if searching his memory for any recollection of the two of them. After a minute he shook his head as if it wasn't worth it. "It just seems to me that Esteldes is too flighty for Rumon. He's a quiet lad. Stern, and serious."

Thranduil spoke the truth. I remember I had thought the same thing years ago when I had first seen the two of them interact together, but I had known even then that Rumon cared for Esteldes deeply. It was she who had seemed to not really notice his affection. That seemed to have changed. I had no idea what had passed between the two of them, but it was plain that he had somehow won her affections.

"So what do you say? Will you give them your blessing?"

He had gone back to his work. "Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"Esteldes is part of your family, and Rumon is not exactly a nobleman."

"That hardly matters. I know from personal experience now that when matters of passion are involved these things will happen anyway, no matter how unsuitable someone's choice may be."

I frowned. Unsuitable?

I decided to be the bigger person and ignore his comment. "It's nice to hear you say that, because we might be having a double wedding."

"Now what are you talking about?"

"Well, Legolas and Tauriel, of course."

"You're joking."

"Honestly darling, sometimes I think you are completely blind. Have you not seen the way that Legolas looks at the girl? How he follows her around? It really could only be a matter of time…"

"It won't be a 'matter of time', as you say, because I won't allow it."

Till this moment I had abandoned my harp for the moment and had begun mending one of the boys shirts(Klirion's in fact), but his words stopped me. "Whatever do you mean you won't allow it?"

Sitting at his table, he raised an eyebrow at me. We stared at each other for a moment, but then he sighed and dipped his quill back into the ink. "Please not tonight, Laurwen. I really don't feel like arguing with you another evening."

Completely dumbstruck, I stood up feeling as if I were a ghost. He had never dismissed me this way before. I was his wife for goodness's sake, and the queen! For once I felt no anger, just very sad. A dead sort of calm came over me.

"Of course, my King."

Smoothing down my dress I started towards the door. I had just started to turn the handle when he called my name. The change in my demeanor must have frightened him.

"Yes?" I answered, not looking at him.

"Please don't be upset. I don't mean that I…"

My voice was quiet when I spoke, interrupting him. "Please Thranduil, just let me leave. I really can't speak to you right now."

I didn't hear him say anything so I took that as assent to go.

….

In the halls I ran into the boys. They were bigger now but they still smiled and jumped to see me.

"Mother, you must come and see what we have done with the pile of mud down by the river! We've positively made a castle out of mud!" Wrane said.

Klirion agreed with his brother and Oriphar grinned. Oriphar was very much a follower of his other brothers. He was the quiet one who reminded me the most of Thranduil.

I was sure from the way that they were caked in wet soil from head to toe that they were telling the truth. Esteldes had a horrified look on her face as she fussed around them trying to wipe off their faces with a wet cloth.

"I can't come right now; mother has some other things to take care of. Perhaps later." I said. I patted them each on the head with an enthusiasm that I did not feel and made my way down the halls.

In truth I really had nothing else to do, but I was feeling very upset, and whenever I was sad or angry I tried not to be around my sons. I didn't want them to see that side of myself. I wanted them to always feel safe and trust me. I was afraid that seeing their mother unhappy at their age would not be good for them. They were still children; they were too young to have burdens on their young souls.

Strolling around I found myself going down the halls and into a room that I had not been into since Coruven had been here.

On the wall where I remembered it, Thranduil's first wife stared down at me from her portrait. I stared back at her. For how long I did, not know.

….

That evening I stared at the sky on our balcony, not really feeling like returning to bed where Thranduil would be waiting.

I had thought I would be safe out here, but to my dismay he came out after a while to stand beside me.

Fortunately he made no move to touch me or speak to me. He just stood next to me quietly, both his hands gently grasping the rails, saying nothing.

I only spoke after a while, when I realized that I would either have to stand out here all night or talk to him and get this over with.

"I just don't understand…why you don't want Tauriel and Legolas to be married."

His mouth opened and closed several times before he answered finally. "I just don't think the two are right for each other. I don't think they are…a good match."

I nodded; and turned my head away before he could see the face I made and the tears that were streaming silently down my face.

When he pulled my face up to look at his own I saw that his had a horrified expression. "Laurwen…please…I don't understand…"

"Whenever you…ahh…I'm sorry." My words were difficult for even me to understand with the way my nose was stuffed and my throat felt choked up. "I just…whenever you…you say that Tauriel isn't right for Legolas, I know that you are thinking of your own marriage. Of the two of us. That you are saying that we are not right for each other. And that hurts me, Thranduil. Even if it is right. It hurts me so much that I can't bear it."

He said nothing.

I cried harder at that; I already knew that he regretted marrying me, but I had still hoped he would at least try to deny it. Since he didn't, I went on.

"When you say Legolas and Tauriel aren't right for each other…two people so close in age…both elves…best friends who grew up together…I know that you must think we are all wrong for each other, as different as we are. And I know that you regret it. Before we were married there was a fire between us. I thought you would ignore it as I tried to do, but you didn't…you married me and I was so happy. But afterwards you became cold towards me. You hardly ever touched me…you were a little hesitant about the birth of our children. You never tell me you love me…and…you don't look at me like you used to. Indeed you try not to look at me at all. Go on, try to deny it."

"I won't deny it."

I sobbed at his words, trying to wipe the tears from my face. Stepping closer he pulled me into his chest, where I cried onto his bare chest under his robe.

"Laurwen," he said stroking my head, " my love. I do love you. You know I do. You have to understand….it's guilt. I feel so guilty. It's true we aren't right for each other, but I married you anyway. I knew that I should try to help you find your way back to your family, or somewhere else…but I loved you so much. And when I saw how you loved me also I was too delighted to let you go. But afterwards…"

There was a long pause before he went on. I didn't look up so I couldn't tell what his face was like.

"Afterwards every time I looked at you…I felt horrible. Like I had wronged you. You don't think I don't lie awake sometimes at night, practically feverish with my desire to kiss you or touch you or tell you how much I care for you?"

Amazed, I looked up at him. I hardly dared believe what I was hearing. "Thranduil…I'm a grown woman. You surely know that you didn't wrong me…I wanted to stay in Mirkwood. I wanted to be with you."

"You were younger then. You may not have known what was right…"

"I had lived through a lot. I knew my own heart. As I know it now."

Leaning down, he kissed me. And afterwards he met my eyes with seriousness.

"I love you Laurwen. More than that, I adore you and respect you. Don't ever forget it."

Holding me, he stared down at me with eyes that said more than words ever could.

…..

Later on, a few months later, he held my hand, even though we were in public, as we stood by at Esteldes's and Rumon's wedding.

Esteldes was positively glowing in a wedding gown that Delia and I had stitched for her for months. At her side, Rumon was impassive as ever. But when Ellis, who was officiating the ceremony, told him that he could kiss his new wife, I saw him crack a smile for the first time.

Soon everyone was cheering and throwing flowers at them, including my sons who looked dashing in their new outfits.

Sighing as we all watched the new couple make their way to the dining hall for the first time ever, I leaned my head against Thranduil's shoulder.

"I hope they will be happy." I whispered. "As you said, they are both so different, after all."

He put his arm around me. "They will be just fine."