A/N: I know, I know. Please don't hate me for taking so long to update! I promise this was worth the long wait. Enjoy and thank you for still following Elissa and Joker!


Joker woke up the next morning slightly bleary eyed, his head pounding as he attempted to roll over but found himself tangled up in bed sheets, wondering for a few moments how he ended up here. Memories of the previous day started to form in his mind's eye as he pulled himself free of the fabric wrapped around his legs. Glancing down at his left hand he saw the metal band adorning his ring finger and he grinned, for a moment he had been afraid that it was all just a dream. He and Elissa were now married; they were officially husband and wife, and last night had been their wedding reception. Now that he was more aware of what was going on in the world, he noticed that his new wife was nowhere to be seen; the only indication that she had even been in the room in the first place was the partially ripped wedding gown thrown casually on the couch. He blushed a little thinking about the previous night's events, if he were pressed he would have to be honest in saying he was surprised nothing was broken.

Carefully he stretched his arms above his head and then exited the bed, being careful not to slip on the clothes strewn on the floor. He padded over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of sweat pants, pulling them on before he surveyed the rest of the room to see if he could figure out where Elissa had disappeared. His eyes rested on the closed bathroom door and then he heard what sounded like retching behind the door. Quickly he went over to the door and opened it, almost immediately he saw Elissa sitting on her knees with her head over the toilet, a hand holding her hair back as she tried to catch her breath. Joker smiled to himself as he entered the bathroom, kneeling down behind her he replaced her hand with his and held her hair for her, and just in time as she started to be sick again.

"Don't tell me that Commander Shepard's got a hangover," teased Joker as he started to rub her back with his free hand. This was very unusual for her, she could always handle her alcohol better than anyone he knew and to see her like this concerned him greatly, especially after their incredible night before.

"No, I think it's food related," groaned Elissa as she flushed the toilet. "God, I feel like complete shit. Please tell me nothing needs my attention this morning, I don't think I can handle anything right now."

Joker smiled as he helped her onto her feet and she went over to the sink and started to brush her teeth, he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder at a slightly awkward angle. "Do you think you can handle sitting in bed for a few more hours?" he asked, kissing her shoulder. "We've still got a bit of time before our honeymoon's officially over."

Elissa smiled around her toothbrush before spitting into the sink. "I think I can do that for you, Mr. Moreau. So long as you ditch the sweatpants once we get in bed."

"Your wish is my command, Mrs. Moreau," said Joker with a huge smile. "So are you now Commander Moreau? Because that has a really nice ring to it."

"I hadn't given it much thought actually," she said gently, spinning around in his arms, her arms snaking around his neck, "but I do like the idea of being Elissa Moreau, though I'm sure people will still call me Commander Shepard."

"I can live with that," said Joker, putting his forehead against hers. "So long as no one thinks to call me Flight Lieutenant Shepard, I might not care what name people call you but I really don't want them to change mine."

Elissa chuckled and kissed him softly. "Well, Mr. Moreau, how about we return to our bed and enjoy what's left of our honeymoon?"

Joker kissed her softly several times and started to lead her back to bed, an impish grin on his lips. "I like the way you think, Mrs. Moreau."

They hurried back to the bed, alternating between walking and kissing until Elissa fell back onto the bed and Joker landed gently on top of her, his hands already snaking up the tank top she was wearing. She gasped as he tweaked her nipples, rolling them between his fingers and he took the opportunity of her gasp to slip his tongue into her mouth, massaging it against hers. He could feel himself growing hard quickly, already tenting his sweatpants and he thrust it against her core, causing them both to moan in need.

Elissa ran her hands over Joker's bare chest, dragging her nails lightly across his flesh as she made her way down to the waistband of his sweatpants, then she hooked her fingers inside and pulled them down until they were too far for her hands. She then used her feet to slide them the rest of the way down and he stepped out of them, his hands still fondling her chest. His manhood pressed against her core again, she could feel its heat and she groaned against his mouth. They had made love all night but neither was sated.

"Jeff," moaned Elissa as he started kissing down her jawline, sucking on a spot just below her ear.

Joker smirked as he continued his ministrations, one of his hands now trailing over her curves and coming to rest on her hip as his fingers dug gently into her soft flesh. She then wrapped her legs gently around his waist, pressing him even harder against her core and she ground against his manhood, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from Joker. Every sound the other made turned them on almost as much as the way they touched each other, heightening their arousal.

"I love you, Ellie," moaned Joker as he started tugging at her panties, trying to get them off of her as quickly as possible.

"I love you too, Jeff," sighed Elissa happily as she started helping him with her clothes. There was a hint of desperation as they tried to come together again, while they knew they had some time before their leave was up, neither could help the feeling that they were going to be interrupted soon. Their hunch was right.

"Shepard," said EDI above and they stopped moving, Joker still hovering above Elissa, both breathing heavily. "Everyone is waiting in the war room to listen to Miranda's confession, including Miss Lawson and Major Alenko."

Elissa grit her teeth to keep from moaning in agony, it was just like EDI to interrupt them with something equally as important. "Alright, EDI, Jeff and I will be down in a few minutes. Who's watching Tristan while Kaidan's with us?"

"I believe Samantha's babysitting him until his father returns," replied EDI. "Please hurry up, Shepard, the crew is anxious to get this meeting started."

Joker shook his head and rolled off of Elissa, wiping what sweat had accumulated on his brow already. "Stupid, fucking cock-blocking AI. She had to pick now to remind you of that meeting, I bet she knew what we were up to when she started talking."

"I guess I forgot when I scheduled that meeting," sighed Elissa with a shrug. "Can't do much about it now other than ask you for a rain check for tonight."

"Why are you so certain I'll agree to that?" asked Joker with a sly grin. "I do have a wife now and as sexy as you are, I'm madly in love with her and want to spend the rest of my nights making love only to her."

"And don't you forget it," said Elissa, punching him lightly in the arm as she sat up. "Come on, we should probably get dressed before EDI decides to come up here and drag us down there herself."

Joker sighed heavily and sat up as well. "Fine, fine, can you get my boxers off of that beam?"


The crew was gathered around the war table, a thick tension hanging in the air as they all tried not to stare at Miranda or make a comment about Kaidan as they waited patiently for Elissa and Joker to appear. Without Elissa acting as a buffer, James had taken up that roll and was sitting now with Miranda and Kaidan at the end of the table, trying to deter the crew from acting instinctually and tearing them apart. So far he was succeeding but he knew if Elissa did not show up soon, he might not be able to hold the crew back much longer.

"Shepard and Joker are outside the door," said EDI suddenly and the crew all turned to look at the door, waiting for their commander and pilot to enter. The doors opened and then Elissa and Joker stepped through hand in hand, slight smiles on their faces that quickly disappeared when they saw everyone staring at them. For a moment they all just stared.

"Damn it, Ellie, I told you I had something from breakfast on my face," said Joker, feigning annoyance. "Everyone's looking!"

His joke broke the tension and everyone in the room laughed, even Kaidan and Miranda. Elissa led Joker to the table, her smile having returned and when she saw the two friends whom had strayed she winked at them, silently letting them know that she did not hold anything against either of them. Joker took his seat on her left and she sat between him and James, her true emotions hidden behind a stony mask of indifference.

"EDI, bring up the video feed of Miranda's confession," said Elissa coolly though she could feel herself shaking inside. Whatever she was about to hear would probably change everything.

"Shepard, why do you look so nervous?" asked Miranda, as she smoothed the material of her clothes for the hundredth time. "You've heard this before, haven't you?"

Elissa did not miss a beat and met Miranda's eyes calmly. "Actually Miranda, you were confessing everything to EDI, who was disguised as me. Hackett and I decided that would be a better plan than sending me in unarmed in case you tried to do something."

Miranda seemed taken aback by what Elissa said but at the same time she appeared impressed. "Well done, Shepard," said Miranda admirably. "You managed to outsmart me just when I thought you were all out of tricks."

"I'm more than just a pretty soldier, Miranda, you should know that better than anyone," replied Elissa coldly and then she turned her attention back to the holo projector where a floating image of Miranda had appeared. The perspective was as if they were being addressed directly by Miranda, which was a little unsettling. Elissa pressed a button on the console and the image started to speak.

'I have so much to confess, Shepard, and I don't know where to start,' said Miranda's holo.

'Just start somewhere,' said EDI as Elissa, her holo unseen.

'Then you should know that I was aware of the trace on my omni-tool,' said Miranda. 'Which is why I kept it inactive after I sent you that message about Cerberus, that was when I became aware of the trace, because just after I sent that I was ambushed by three Nemesis fighters. We fought for a while before one of them grabbed me from behind and held me, then one of them approached me.' Miranda's voice cracked and she started to tear up. 'The one told me that if I said anything more to you about Cerberus . . . they knew where my brother was . . . they said they would kill him, Shepard. They had orders . . .' She broke off here and started to openly weep. The crew saw EDI's hand enter the frame and gently caress Miranda's forearm.

'Don't worry, Miranda, we'll find him and keep him safe,' said EDI gently. 'Just keep going, you're doing wonderfully.'

Miranda looked up and gave EDI a watery smile. 'You're far too kind, Shepard. If you knew . . . but I guess you will soon. I just . . . please promise me that you won't hate me for what I'm about to say.'

'You know I can't promise that, Mira,' said EDI and Miranda nodded. 'Your secrets resulted in the death of Adams, nearly got James and myself killed, along with so many others. You need to come clean now, before more people get hurt.'

'You don't understand, so many more than Adams died because of me,' said Miranda with a slight sniffle and she could not seem to bring herself to speak again as she looked down at the table.

'Miranda, how many people are dead because of your actions?' asked EDI sternly. 'You have to tell me now.'

Miranda lifted her eyes, the fire evident in them even as a holo. 'The plaque in the Normandy holds the names of some of them.'

The room filled with tension and all eyes turned to Miranda after Elissa paused the recording. Joker was giving her the most hateful look anyone had ever seen, as well as Kaidan and all those whom had served on the original Normandy. Elissa was now standing, her hands resting on the console and instead of giving her friend a death glare like the rest, she just seemed horrified and speechless. Miranda could not meet her eyes and instead looked down at her feet. Moments passed before Elissa could muster up the courage to press the button again but she managed.

'What do you mean?' asked EDI sounding genuinely distressed.

'The Illusive Man sent the coordinates of the Normandy's whereabouts to the Collectors,' replied Miranda with a hard voice, as if she were trying to hold back more tears. 'He knew they wanted you and wouldn't resist such an opportunity to get you, so he sent them to you. They destroyed the SR-1 and you as well, and we were ready to recover you. From what I gathered at the time . . . your death was planned by the Illusive Man, it was a means of getting you on our side so you could stop the Collectors.'

'I don't understand,' said EDI. 'The Illusive Man sold me out to the Collectors just so he could reclaim me as an asset of his own later? That's crazy.'

'I know how it sounds, but it worked out in the end,' said Miranda, for a moment falling back into an operative of Cerberus. 'You stopped the Collectors before they could harm anymore human settlements and we gave you a new life.'

'More like you stole my old one,' sneered EDI convincingly. 'So the twenty-two people who lost their lives that day have you to thank, excluding myself. How many more?'

'Dr. Wilson on the Lazarus station,' replied Miranda somewhat coldly. 'He wasn't a true traitor to Cerberus; he was an Alliance mole, placed there by Hackett to keep an eye on us and he was going to alert him about you. The Illusive Man told me that you needed to have a diagnostics check and the mole had to be dealt with. I came up with the scenario in which both were accomplished.'

'Did Jacob know?' asked EDI and Miranda shook her head.

'No, he was completely in the dark about my plan,' said Miranda softly. 'Lazarus station never blew up, and as far as I know it's still intact and active. Everything was just a ruse; the mechs being hacked, Dr. Wilson being a traitor, the station being blown into a million pieces. All of it was designed to see how well you were operating after our procedures.'

'All right, we're at twenty-three,' said EDI coldly and Miranda looked a little shaken. 'Did you have a hand in anything else? Are you the reason more Alliance soldiers are dead?'

'Not directly,' whispered Miranda and again she looked away. 'James' squad being on Fehl Prime . . . was because of Cerberus. They were the back up plan in case you failed to bring down the Collectors, and it was my idea to use the Alliance. I had no idea it would end with only two survivors, I mean, Delta squad was said to be one of the best.'

'They were, which is why two made it back alive,' snapped EDI. 'Now you're up to twenty-eight and we haven't delved too much into your past yet. This had better be leading up to something because right now we can incriminate you in the death of twenty-eight Alliance soldiers.'

"Twenty-eight," repeated Elissa under her breath. She could not believe that Miranda was indirectly responsible for twenty-eight deaths, excluding her own. "My god."

Joker looked up at her before covering her hand with his own. "We can stop this at any time, Ellie, you know that."

Elissa nodded grimly and she looked over at James, the Marine now looked like he was going to be sick and she was right there with him. Learning all of this was not what they had expected, they had just wanted to know about the trace not all of this, but now they did and none of it could be taken back. She pressed the button again.

'There's one last mission I need you to know about,' said Miranda and she seemed very upset now. 'And you won't be happy with what I'm about to say.'

'I haven't been particularly happy with you since this all started, to be honest,' replied EDI bitterly and Miranda sighed heavily.

'Cerberus is responsible for Virmire,' said Miranda with a slight crack in her voice. 'We arranged it so Saren would use the facility and attract you attention at some point, though this was before his activities pulled some Salarians into the mess.'

'So you're responsible for all of those lost Salarians and Krogan,' snarled EDI, who seemed to be getting angrier and angrier at each confession. 'You're well into the fifties as far as deaths, Miranda. Did you intend for me to sacrifice one of my friends that day or was Ash just an unfortunate human casualty to you and Cerberus?'

Miranda was quiet for a moment as if debating whether or not she should continue on with her story. 'It was intended that you sacrifice Gunnery Chief Williams. The Illusive Man had your death by the Collectors planned out but we needed a test subject, someone whom had died in a way that it would be almost impossible to bring them back. So we manipulated a few events on Virmire so you would be forced to choose between Alenko and Williams but we already knew it would be Williams.'

'How? How did you know I'd save Kaidan?' barked EDI. There was silence for a few moments before EDI spoke again. 'One of your agents was on the Normandy.'

'Yes,' said Miranda and she seemed even more distraught. 'Navigator Pressley had agreed to spy on you for us, he was pro-human and wanted the aliens off the ship and away from the Alliance. He told us about you and Alenko, which is how we knew you'd pick him over Williams. What we didn't count on was Pressley quitting right after the mission was completed, telling us that we were wrong about aliens and that they were far more loyal than most humans he had met.'

'Yeah they are, which is why I prefer their company to most humans,' said EDI darkly. 'What happened to Ashley after you collected her body from Virmire? I'm assuming you took her Lazarus station to be worked on.'

Miranda nodded solemnly. 'We did, and we started working on her right away. By the time you arrived, we already had some idea of what to do in order to ensure a successful recovery. If anything, Williams saved your life, Shepard.'

'At the cost of her own,' spat EDI. 'I want to know where she's buried.'

'She isn't buried, Shepard,' said Miranda calmly. 'If my sources are accurate, she's still in a stasis tank on Lazarus station, very much alive.'

Elissa pressed the button again, she could not hear anything else, it was all too much as it was. Ashley was alive, and had been for years but they had never been told, they had been mourning her death for years when in reality she had only been dead a short while. Elissa had never been so elated and so angry in her entire life.

"You heartless bitch!" she heard Miya shout and all eyes turned to her. "You destroyed all of these lives and you aren't even sorry for it! Lizzie died because of you and so did everyone else on the SR-1 that didn't make it out! Not to mention James' squad. How could you call yourself our ally when you were hiding everything from us?!"

"I agree," said Garrus, his mandibles snapping angrily. "I knew from the start we couldn't trust you but Shepard convinced me otherwise, citing how reliable and helpful you'd been. I should've known better than to go against my instincts."

Jacob could not even look in Miranda's direction; now knowing he had been played as much as the others wounded him deeply, especially given their history. "Typical Miranda," he muttered and there was a murmur of consensus around the table.

"We should've kept you in the core," snarled Joker, his grey-green eyes sparking with poorly hidden hate. "You know what, I think we should hand her over to the Alliance along with this recording, let them know who's responsible for so many deaths."

Kaidan nodded. "Hell, if she had as much input on Virmire as she claims, we could hand her over to the Salarians and Krogan as well."

"Fuck, this makes the Boy Scout's screw up seem pretty minor in comparison," said Jack grimly, gesturing at Kaidan. "I say we throw the Cheerleader out of the airlock, deal with the problem ourselves and have a little bit of fun doing it."

"We could always throw her into the eezo core," suggested Tali, her bright eyes narrowed at Miranda as she spoke. "It might stop the engine for a bit, but it'd look cool."

Elissa shook her head. "No, no one's killing anyone," she said though her voice was as shaky as she felt. "EDI, I need you to take Miranda to the AI core again, that's the better option for everyone involved. We'll decide her fate later." She looked squarely at Miranda whom had not looked up for some time.

"Shepard, I'm sorry," she said, lifting her head. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and her blue eyes were shimmering with more, apparently she did feel some remorse for what she had done.

"So am I," said Elissa coolly and then she motioned to EDI, who stood and so did Miranda. Together the AI and former operative left the room. "James, are you okay?"

James had buried his face in his hands when his squad was mentioned and had yet to show his face. "No, Lola, I'm not. Honestly I feel like a fool but I'm sure I'll get over it in time. What about you? How are you feeling?"

"Disgusted," replied Elissa and she felt the world around her start to shift. "We should set course for Lazarus station, rescue Ash before . . . before . . ."

Joker saw her start to sway on her feet though she was braced against the console; he looked at her face and saw her eyes roll in the back of her head. He knew what was coming and could not stop it himself.

"James!" he shouted and the lieutenant looked up just in time to see Elissa fall away from the console. With very little effort he caught her before she fell to the floor and then looked at Joker.

"I think we should get her to the medbay," said James, looking down at the pale and drawn face of his sister. "She doesn't look well and I think she's sicker than she's been letting on."

"I agree," said Joker calmly though his heart was pounding hard in his chest. He was so scared she might be sick and hiding it from him, the last thing he wanted now that he finally had the woman of his dreams as his wife was to lose her so soon. He desperately hoped that she was fine.


Elissa could hear murmuring around her, it was quiet and muffled at first but slowly she became aware enough to distinguish the voices, at least their tones. One was male, somewhat familiar and sounded concerned. The other was female, again familiar and accented, this one sounded more stern and motherly. After another few moments of listening to the voices, she was able to determine whom they belonged to: Joker and Chakwas.

" . . . long has she been ill?" she heard Chakwas say.

"Off and on for a few weeks now," replied Joker, his voice still sounded distant to her. "She was vomiting this morning and didn't eat much at breakfast, then she passed out during the debriefing. What do you think's wrong?"

"I have a few theories but I'm not going to run any tests until Shepard wakes up," said Chakwas sharply, her voice was now more clear. "I saw EDI bringing Miranda back into the AI core, any particular reason?"

Joker was silent for a few moments, contemplating whether or not he should say anything regarding what they learned from Miranda's session with EDI. "I think that's up to Elissa and James," he said thoughtfully. "Let's just say she's in deeper shit than Alenko."

"Now there's an accomplishment," muttered Chakwas and Elissa chuckled at her words.

Carefully Elissa opened her eyes and saw both Joker and Chakwas hovering over her, both seemed concerned but just as equally relieved. She tried to sit up but found her head spinning as she did, when she went to lay back down, she felt an arm wrap around her shoulders.

"You need to take it a bit easier, Shepard," chided Chakwas gently as she helped her lie down again. "Switching between lying and sitting is difficult enough after passing out but changing your mind in between is not a good idea. Now, how are you feeling? Any lingering lightheadedness? And respond with words, not movements."

"No," replied Elissa softly. "I still feel like the room's spinning and my stomach's not doing so well, but other than that I feel fine."

Chakwas did not seem convinced. "Tell me, Shepard, how long have you been experiencing these symptoms?"

Elissa thought about the past few weeks and shrugged slightly. "I guess since after my parents' wedding, but the vomiting and stuff was just because of anxiety. I haven't exactly been able to relax lately."

"True but when you were coordinating a full scale invasion of Earth, you didn't complain of similar symptoms nor did anyone notice them," said Chakwas crisply. "I noticed you've been using some heartburn medication as well, particularly after certain meals and you aren't eating the same foods as before. In fact you're eating a bit more. Usually when you're stressed you'll workout or something like that."

"What are you getting at, Karin?" asked Elissa, carefully looking over at the doctor. "Are you saying I'm having behavioral changes instead of physiological or what?"

"I'm saying I need to run a couple of tests," said Chakwas and she produced an intravenous needle, with adept precision she inserted the needle into Elissa's arm and took a vial full of blood. She then took the vial and poured the contents into a small machine, starting it up before coming back over with a small bandage for the needle mark on Elissa's arm.

"So what's that machine going to tell you?" asked Elissa as she watched Chakwas prep another machine.

"The levels of various chemicals in your blood," said Chakwas as she activated her omni-tool, which turned on the other machine. "While this is warming up, I'm going to give you a physical examination, with focus on your abdomen since that area seems to be giving you the most trouble. Now stay still and don't move too much."

Elissa obeyed Chakwas' instructions, lying perfectly still on the bed as the doctor pulled up her shirt and started to massage her hands over her abdomen. It was a little strange having someone examine her like this when now just a quick scan with an omni-tool was all that was required but she did not protest and simply let the doctor do her work. She glanced over at Joker whom was watching Chakwas intently and then she looked at Chakwas to see if she could read what was wrong by her expressions. The doctor seemed somewhat serious as she moved her hand lower, gently but deliberately pressing her fingers along an invisible route. There was something wrong.

"Is it her cybernetics?" asked Joker, unable to take the silence any longer. "Are they acting against her body?"

Chakwas looked up and shook her head. "No, I highly doubt it's her cybernetics acting up, I think the problem's more simple than that. Shepard, I'm going to perform an ultrasound on you though I'm sure the blood work will confirm my suspicions anyhow."

"Oh god," groaned Joker. "Does she have tumors or something? Will she have to have surgery?"

Elissa remained quiet, letting Joker ask as many questions regarding her health as he wanted; personally she was in no mood to discuss the possibility of tumors or surgery herself. What she wanted were answers to why she was feeling this way and she would rather be subjected to numerous tests than openly consider what might be wrong without any concrete proof.

Before Chakwas could answer, both of her machines went off simultaneously and she hurried over to the smaller of the two, scanning it with her omni-tool. The screen popped up and she quickly read the print out, her brow furrowed as she examined the results of Elissa's blood work, seeming to look for something particular. It appeared she found it when she nodded quickly and she tapped a few commands onto her keyboard, seconds later Elissa's omni-tool went off.

"You can read that now or later," said Chakwas quickly as she started hooking up her omni-tool to what could only be the ultrasound machine. "God, it's been years since I've had to use this, and here I was considering giving it back to the Alliance. Joker, I recommend you sit down, you've been standing for a while now."

Joker looked as if he wanted to argue but given the circumstances he did not, instead he pulled over the nearest chair and sat down before reaching for Elissa's hand; shocked that this was happening and they had not yet been married for twenty-four hours. He started mentally reciting diagnostics checks for the Normandy to help calm his racing heart.

Chakwas turned to face Elissa and adjusted her shirt to make sure her abdomen was properly exposed before placing her omni-tool a couple of inches above the skin. They sat in silence as the doctor began the scan, moving the omni-tool ever so slightly one way or another until she had the image she wanted. On the screen there was a gold field but on the field were two small dark circles.

"What are those? Holes?" asked Joker, not comprehending what he was being shown right away.

"No, Jeff, those aren't holes," said Chakwas with a bright smile as she turned away from the screen to look at him. "Those are babies. Shepard's pregnant and expecting twins by the look of things."

Elissa and Joker were stunned, neither had expected this news, the possibility had not even crossed their minds but here they were: newlyweds and now expecting parents. Couple that with what had happened earlier and this day had just gotten even more insane.

"I thought I was on birth control," said Elissa quietly, her eyes glued to the screen that showed the shadowed images of her unborn children. "I had an implant."

"I know," said Chakwas quietly. "You did have an implant, but when we had to operate on you to save your life after what happened on Rannoch, I removed it but neglected to put it back in place."

Joker ran his hands over his face, torn between shouting to the world and sitting there dumbfounded. "So, how far along is she?" he asked, certain this was a safe question. "I mean, those babies don't seem to be all that big right now."

Chakwas glanced at the image again and nodded. "I'd estimate Shepard's about four weeks along or soon will be. From what I can tell now, the babies are healthy but now that I know, there are a few more tests I'll have to run before I can say for certain. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and consult with Quaes on a few things. I don't want either of you to leave right now, just until I've had a chance to give Shepard a proper examination." She then tapped a few more commands into her omni-tool and the ultrasound machine started to make a strange noise. The noise lasted a few seconds and Chakwas pulled out a laminated piece of paper, handing it over to Elissa. "Here, for the baby books." Then she left the room without another word.

Joker and Elissa both stared at the image they had been given of their twin children, neither sure what to say about the situation at the moment. The babies were too small to be seen themselves but it was obvious where they were in Elissa's womb. The more she looked at the picture the more dread she felt, she knew she had done so many things wrong the past few weeks, things she would not have done had she known. Even last night she had drunk alcohol, quite a bit actually, and that alone might have harmed her children. She felt as if she had already let her children down and she was not yet a mother.

"Holy shit," muttered Joker, his eyes sparkling with joy as a huge smile stretched across his face. "I'm going to be a dad! Holy shit!"

"Yeah, holy shit is right," said Elissa softly and she put the picture down as suppressed sobs started to wrack her body. She was not entirely sure why she was crying, all she knew was it felt better than just letting the numbness she was currently feeling consume her completely.

Joker stopped celebrating when he saw her crying and instead held her in his arms as best he could, trying to make them both a little comfortable. "It's okay, Ellie," he whispered soothingly. "Everything's going to be okay."

Elissa shook her head. "No, Jeff, nothing's going to be okay! I probably screwed up our kids already doing some of the stuff I did while not knowing I was pregnant. I drank way too much and put them in harm's way by attacking Cerberus and being around all of those toxins in the facility." Tears started to fall as she spoke, unable to hold them back any longer.

"That's what the tests are for," said Joker as he stroked her hair. "If something is wrong with them . . . we'll just have to act accordingly . . . unless you'd rather deal with that now."

She knew he was talking about terminating the pregnancy, and for a few moments she seriously considered going through with the procedure. Not being pregnant would be so much easier, she would be able to fight in battle and not have to worry about potentially harming two innocents. It would also mean she could get to a more secure position in life before she brought another into this world. Then again, she knew she would never forgive herself. She had always longed to be a mother, to have children running and growing up around her, now she had the chance. Yes, the situation was not exactly ideal nor would this be easy for her, but since when had anything worth having been given to her easily? Everything she had in her life she had had to work long and hard for, even her husband, and while getting pregnant had been relatively easy staying that way would be the fight. She would not give up now, not when she had so much to look forward to, this was one fight she really did not want to lose.

"No," she said firmly, her resolve in place. "These are our children, Jeff, and I'll be damned before I lose them. I'm sure this won't be the most pleasant thing I've gone through, but I have a feeling it'll be worth it in the end."

Joker's grin broadened and he kissed her deeply. "I love you, Ellie. And thank you."

She looked up at him slightly puzzled. "Thank you for what?"

"For giving me the chance to be a dad," he replied a little sheepishly. "I know I made a big deal before about not wanting to be one but the truth is, it's always been a secret dream. I just never thought I'd have the opportunity till now."

More tears sprung up in her eyes but she did not care, not anymore. "I love you, too, Jeff. It's surreal to think you and I are going to be parents to two babies in a few months' time. I mean, what kind of kids are we going to raise?"

"Awesome kids," replied Joker with a smug grin. "If they get my charming attitude coupled with your badassery and resilience, we'll set them loose on the galaxy and watch what happens."

Elissa laughed through her tears, the sheer thought of the scenario Joker had come up with was more than enough to erase any doubts she might have been having regarding being a mother. "I think we should tell the crew together," she said when she had calmed down a bit. "I know you probably want to run out there right now and shout it to the galaxy but please, just wait for me."

"Deal," chuckled Joker and he kissed her again.


Chakwas came back a little while later with Quaes in tow, both running every test they could think of to make sure the babies were doing well in the womb. It was determined that Elissa's drinking and exposure to some carcinogens had not had any adverse effects on the fetuses and they were doing extremely well. They could not tell however if they babies would be born with Vrolik's since the procedure required would be too invasive and might result in loss of pregnancy. Both Elissa and Joker were alright with not knowing that just yet, understanding that they would learn of the condition at some point before or after the birth. Chakwas advised Elissa on a few exercises she could do to help her body adjust to its coming changes and on some foods she should eat if she started to feel sick again. She also handed her about six different bottles of vitamin supplements before allowing her and Joker to leave the medbay almost an hour after they arrived. Needless to say, the crew was anxious when they finally emerged.

"What's wrong with you?" asked Miya as she met Elissa and Joker outside of the medbay doors. "Are you going to die? Did Miranda's confession put too much stress on you or something?"

Elissa shook her head and smiled, unable to prevent herself. "Nothing's actually wrong with me, Miya, I just . . . have an announcement."

The crew gathered around her more closely than they had been previously, all wanting to hear what was wrong with their commander and friend.

"Come on, Lola, don't leave us in suspense," groaned James, his brow glistening with sweat.

"We're getting some new crew members," said Joker suddenly and everyone looked at him curiously. "Yep, they haven't been properly trained yet as soldiers but I'm sure being around us will change that, given ample time."

Garrus flexed his mandibles in a questioning manner. "And where are these inadequately trained soldiers coming from exactly?"

Joker grinned and he put a hand on Elissa's abdomen, looking directly at her as he spoke. "Someplace special."

His statement took a little while to get to the crew and then once it had settled in, everyone started cheering, except the alien members.

"What's going on?" asked Tali, confused as to what Joker was saying by a 'special place'.

"Shepard's having a baby!" said Jack ecstatically; tears mingled with mascara rolling down her face. "Damn, Joker, that was fast!"

"I'm about a month along, Jack," replied Elissa with a slight shake of her head. "And we aren't having one baby, we're having two."

"By the goddess!" exclaimed Liara as she rushed forward to embrace her friends. "I'm so happy for you both, being a parent will reward you in ways you never dreamed and I can't think of two better people to raise children."

Joker grinned and patted Liara fondly on the shoulder. "Thanks, Liara, we really appreciate that. After helping you out with Ali, I'm sure I'll be fine as a dad."

"Congrats, Moreau!" cried Ken, clapping both Joker and Elissa on the shoulder. "Impressive work, Joker, weren't even trying for one and got two!"

"Tell me about it," laughed Elissa as James stepped forward, a big smile on his face.

"Congratulations, Lola," he said warmly, leaning down slightly to embrace her though not as tight as he normally did. "I can't think of a better mother for any child."

"Thank you, Jimmy," she said kissing his cheek. "I guess we're going to have to get used to calling you Uncle Jimmy or Uncle James."

James rolled his eyes playfully and gently punched her in the shoulder. "Speak for yourself, we're all going to have to get used to hearing two little people calling you and Joker mom and dad. Talk about strange."

"You're an ass sometimes," sighed Elissa and Hilary came sprinting onto the scene.

"I just heard from EDI!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around both Joker and Elissa. "I'm going to be an aunt, I can't believe it! Oh these kids are going to get so spoiled!"

"Step aside, Blondie," said Miya, shoving Hilary away with her shoulder. "Do you two have the slightest idea as to what you're getting yourselves into? Having kids is a big responsibility and so far you've only been barely able to keep a ship and a Krogan alive. What do you think raising kids is going to be like?"

Joker rolled his eyes and patted her on the head. "Well, it can't be as bad as raising you or Grunt has been, so I figure since we've already done a good job bringing up you two we're ready for some other kids."

Miya scowled but she said nothing, instead she wrapped her arms around their respective waists and hugged them for quite a while before releasing them. "I know your kids will be great, just look at how Grunt turned out."

The crew, Elissa, and Joker all laughed together. While it was still a new concept being thought of as parents, neither Elissa nor Joker were as concerned about it as they had been when they first found out. They knew that no matter what happened, they would have all of these wonderful people around to help them whenever a situation was difficult, and they would never be alone. What more could they ask from their family?