Scott picks Liam up at quarter to seven. When they get back to his house, Lydia's already there. She has her arms crossed in front of her chest, her index finger tapping at her arm impatiently. "I guess you're home alone?" she suggests, gesturing to the door.
Scott takes off his helmet, innocently scratching at the back of his head. "Sorry."
Next to him, Liam has gotten off the bike as well. He's having trouble loosening the strap under his chin, and with his head being so heavy from the weight of the helmet, it looks really clumsy.
When Scott turns around and sees it, he chuckles. "Come here, hold still," he says, ducking down a little so he can find the section where the straps lock together.
A soft click sounds and Liam's head becomes free. "Thanks," he mumbles, a faint blush rising on his cheeks.
Lydia's watching the whole ordeal with raised eyebrows. Scott doesn't dare to catch her eyes, so he walks straight past her to open the door. She mumbles something along the lines of 'I see all' in his ear, making Scott shiver.
Given the fact Melissa's not home and they have the house to themselves, the three of them decide to sit in the living room, as it's more spacious than Scott's bedroom. Lydia only needs a second to splay out her books and pens, organizing them neatly on the coffee table.
"History on the right," she indicates, "and Chemistry on the left."
Both boys nod obediently, and after Scott has turned on the TV for some background noise, they sit down at their assigned places.
"Okay then," Lydia says. "Liam, you start reading the chapter you need to, and Scott, we'll pick up where we left off. After half an hour we're gonna switch."
Again, the boys obey, and a while later the atmosphere in the McCall household has become very focused. Scott figures it's something Lydia somehow brings with her.
At eight o'clock the news comes on and all three of them look up when they hear their hometown being mentioned.
"The body of a woman in her mid-thirties was found suspended from a tree in the woods of the Beacon Preserve early this morning. Police have found no evidence of a struggle, and so are not treating the death as suspicious. The woman's identity has not been released, but her family have been informed."
Scott catches Liam's gaze, the boy quickly and awkwardly averting his. Lydia's shaking her head at the screen.
"I don't understand how people can do that," she says, still watching the article.
Liam's eyes flick up at her. "What do you mean?"
Lydia turns to look at him. "I mean I don't understand how people can take their own life. You know, every living creature has this core instinct that tells them to survive. I can't imagine what could go on inside their heads that can allow them to switch that instinct off," she explains.
Liam's eyes fall back onto his textbook as he lets out a soft sigh. Scott watches him intently, but Lydia doesn't seem to notice.
"I don't understand how they can be so selfish."
Scott's eyes widen. Sure, he knows about Lydia's past, so he totally gets why she would say something like that, but really? Right next to Liam, when she knows what's going on with him?
He quickly glances at the younger boy, just about able to see his bottom lip quivering.
Scott nudges Lydia, who gives him a surprised look and is right about to call him out on it when she realizes what she has just said. Her facial expression falls and she quickly turns around.
"Liam, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean…"
"It's okay," Liam brushes it off by holding up his hand. He sniffs and then smiles up at her. "I just need to go to the bathroom, that's all." He gets up, not even knowing where said room is, and spurts off.
Lydia screws her eyes shut in a guilty manner. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"
Scott lays his hand on top of hers. "It's okay. I know," he assures her. "I'm just gonna check up on him."
She nods, slight tears in her eyes.
Scott walks into the hallway where the bathroom is. The door has been locked, meaning that Liam has found it. Scott knocks politely. "Liam? It's me," he says. "Could you open up?"
The door makes a clicking sound and Scott opens it, confronted with a pair of eyes full of tears. Liam sniffs, wiping his nose as some of them start to spill across his cheeks. "I'm sorry," he whispers in a quiet sob.
Scott shakes his head. "You don't have to apologize. It's okay."
"No, it's not okay," Liam says, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve. "I know she's right. I know it's selfish. But I just…I can't help…" His voice starts breaking, so he sniffs again. After taking a deep breath, he continues, "I can't help but sometimes think that suicide is okay. I mean, sometimes I picture reassuring people that I'm okay with not being here anymore." He wipes more tears from his eyes, bottom lip trembling. "I could just say I've tried life and that it's maybe just not for me. But hey, at least I've tried and it has been wonderful so far...and maybe that should just be it…"
Scott bites his lip, looking down at his friend. He sighs, unable to resist the urge to comfort him anymore, so he wraps his arms around Liam's small frame, pulling him into a hug. He makes sure the embrace covers every inch of Liam's back, rubbing his spine comfortingly. "Oh, Liam," he sighs, pressing his cheek against the top of the boy's head.
Liam cries quietly against Scott's chest. They stand like that for a while in the dim light of the bathroom, the only sounds drifting faintly from the living room. Scott continues drawing circles onto Liam's back until he has calmed down a little. They don't need to say much, because Scott suddenly understands that it's raining in Liam's head and Scott still hasn't found a way to manipulate the weather.
A couple of minutes later they come back into the living room. Lydia immediately gets up, eyes still a little blurry herself, and puts her hands on Liam's shoulders. "I'm sorry," she says, her emerald eyes as big as a dolls'. "I should've been more considerate, but I'm going to explain to you why I said that."
Liam nods and Scott's face turns more serious. They all sit down at their original spots around the table, only this time, Lydia is much closer to Liam's side than to Scott's. The boy's looking expectantly at her, a little wide-eyed.
"A couple of years ago, right before I started high school, my dad took his own life," she drops the bomb. But somehow there's a calming undertone in her voice. Scott knows why, and where it came from. "He was suffering from depression as well. Now, as a child I didn't notice it as much. Sure, I saw him cry a couple of times, but everyone cries, don't they?" She looks up at the ceiling for a moment, blinking away the brimming flood. "Anyway…at first I didn't understand, obviously. And, still, maybe I don't, but that doesn't mean I don't sympathize." She sniffs. "I guess life just fell too hard on my dad and…I suppose things like that happen." She puts her hands onto Liam's shoulders again, scooting closer. "But that doesn't mean it has to be like that for you. My dad didn't call for help. He even shut my mom out at some point. That's the difference between the two of you and you should always remember that."
The look in her eyes is so pure and strong, Scott can see it even from across the table. He glances at Liam, feeling a little proud when he notices he's keeping himself together quite well.
"How did you get over it?" Liam asks softly.
"It took me a while," she admits, a hint of a smile in her voice. "But then something happened to a friend of ours last year and I decided it was time to go see someone. Not even like a psychiatrist or something, but just the guidance counsellor at school; Ms. Morrell. Maybe you've heard of her?"
Liam thinks for a moment. "Doesn't she also teach French?"
"She does," Lydia smiles. "Maybe you should go see her sometime. She can be very confrontational, but she's also really sweet. I still go to her sometimes."
Scott frowns, because that's something he didn't know. Lydia turns to look at him and scoffs playfully, "You didn't really think you knew everything about me, did you?"
Scott shakes his head, snickering, barely audible. Lydia smiles back at him. Afterwards, she scoots back to her place. "Now, let's turn off that stupid TV and get back to studying."
The boys couldn't agree more.
