They are stood in front of Liam's house an hour later. At the pool, Scott had waited for Liam right outside the changing room's door, making sure his friend was okay. Liam had muttered a soft 'thank you' when he had come out and Scott had smiled, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. There had been a certain tendency to the moment that had spiked up Scott's heartbeat, which had gotten even worse when Liam had held on to his waist again during the ride home.
Scott has put his bike on its stand and he's standing opposite from Liam in silence. The younger one is hopping back and forth, from his toes to his heels, and looking at Scott expectantly. He has already returned the helmet, so it is probably time for him to go inside.
But Liam going inside would mean the end of their date. And Scott figures, given the fact that Liam's not making any attempt in moving, they both don't want it to end. Scott wants this day to last forever, but knows it can't. Then again, he can try to extend it.
"Are you okay?" he asks, knowing it's not a particularly nice question, but finding himself unable to think of something else.
Liam nods, and for the first time ever grants a reassuring smile when he answers, "Yeah, I am."
Scott rubs his nose, grinning at him. "Good," he replies, mind busying itself with trying to think of other stuff to say.
"Yeah…" Liam mumbles, averting his eyes from Scott's; allowing Scott to catch his breath, ironically enough, he feels like he had been underwater the moment they had gotten off his bike.
He turns his head towards Liam's house, seeing that the light in the kitchen is on. Only then he notices the dusk that has fallen around Beacon Hills, looking up when the street lights switch on.
"I should probably go," he then finally deflates. "Your dinner's almost ready, I guess."
Liam glances sideways. "Yeah, probably."
"Alright then."
Scott moves half an inch forward, but then seems to hesitate, wondering if it's appropriate to hug Liam, which is weird, because he has never worried about that before. He can hear Lydia's voice in his head 'Don't give everything away on the first date' and sighs, straightening his back. "I'll see you on Monday," he says, turning around towards his motorcycle.
"Scott?"
"Yeah?"
He watches Liam continuing to rock himself. Back and forth. Back and forth. His hand has grabbed his other arm and he's rubbing it. Scott waits patiently for him to say something, sensing the tension in the air.
"See ya."
Scott bites his bottom lip, hooking his thumbs behind the straps of his backpack and wiggling his shoulders a little. "Bye," he replies, starting to mess with his helmet to get it on.
"Scott?"
Again, he turns around at hearing the mention of his name. "Yes?" Scott asks, now with a bit more hope in his voice.
Liam sticks out a hand tentatively. "I, err…" He scratches the back of his neck. "I just…" he stammers. "I…" He exhales a deep breath, releasing the tension from his muscles. "Thanks for today. I had a great time."
Scott beams at him. "Me too," he says. "So…thank you, too."
Liam nods. "You're welcome."
And Scott is pretty sure this is the most ridiculous conversation he has ever had. He decides three times is a charm and tries to get on his bike again, but…
"Scott?"
The taller one clothes his eyes briefly, sighing. "Ye-"
Liam has shuffled towards him in the meantime and is now right in front of Scott. It startles him, faltering backwards a little. Liam quickly grabs his wrist and tugs him back onto his feet, moving onto his tiptoes himself.
Before Scott can register what's happening, Liam's lips have already grazed against and left his cheek. He can feel the tender ghost of the kiss lingering on his skin and in a mere second Scott decides Lydia can go to hell, so he takes Liam's hand in his and pulls him back. Their noses touch before Scott's lips are pressed against Liam's. Electricity surges through Scott's body, causing him to shiver, and there's this wonderful tingling in his abdomen that clouds his mind into such an intense darkness that he can see stars. Naturally, he flashes back to the garden, then to the first time they talked, the water drop or little pearl of sweat that had fallen onto Liam's bottom lip, the feeling of carton on his fingertips as he held Liam's Valentine's Day card into his hands, the sound of Liam's laughter in the café, the smell of honey and the taste of sweet and sour candy.
All of those sensations and memories come back to him in that one brief moment, that in reality only lasts half a second, but Scott knows. Scott knows he wants to do this again and again and again and a sudden blow of wind sweeps up his hair, goose bumps crawling across his skin and he realizes Allison is right there with him, cheering him on. It's all he needs. It's all Scott needs to safely let go of Liam's hands, because he knows. He knows they will do this again, because there is nothing in the world that compares to this feeling and he can see Liam's thinking the same. He can see it in his eyes, because the waves of uncertainty that have always rocked the ocean are now calm and gone. And that can only mean one thing. Only one thing and, God, Scott realizing it causes him to have to reach out to his bike, because he's sure his knees are about to buckle.
Scott can control the weather.
So it's safe to say he's on cloud nine for the rest of the evening. Coming home, he even tells his mom what happened, from start to kiss, from green shirt to finish. He even laughs when Melissa points out that her cooking really is that good, since it was kind of what started it all. Scott even gives her the credit, he doesn't care, because he kissed Liam Dunbar. Cute, adorable, crazily handsome and beautiful Liam Dunbar.
Even the following morning, the euphoric moment still has its grip around Scott's heart. Waking up, the memory hits him instantly. With sleep in his eyes and dreams in the back of his mind, he presses his face into the pillow, grinning like a moron. He almost suffocates himself, wrapping his arms around its softness, pretending its Liam's small frame. Realizing he's being deliciously lovey-dovey makes him chuckle out loud, finally allowing himself to breathe. After turning onto his back and having slid a hand through his messy hair, he takes his phone from the nightstand. His finger flicks across the screen, unlocking it, heart skipping a beat when he sees he has received a message from Liam.
"I didn't do it!" it reads, and Scott clutches his phone to his chest.
He knows exactly what that message refers to; Liam hasn't cut himself last night.
"I'm proud of you," Scott types back, excitedly playing with his phone afterwards; turning it in his hands. Then he follows up with another text, asking what Liam's doing today.
When his phone hasn't given a sign of life for more than fifteen minutes, Scott decides it's time to get up. Downstairs, there's a note on the kitchen's table informing him he will be home alone for the rest of the day. He crumples up the piece of paper, shooting it into the bin at the other side of the room. He scores and Scott swears to God his life cannot get any better. If Liam isn't doing anything today, he's going to ask him to come over. He has no idea what they will do, but Scott just wants to spend time with him. He's already ready to have Liam by his side for the rest of forever, which makes Scott realize he's definitely in love. Head over heels in love. The reason that he's is because, for the first time, it feels the same as it did with Allison. Yes, he knows Allison and Liam aren't the same person, but to Scott, love is love, and recognizing it as something familiar confirms his feelings for Liam are real and not some sort of fling.
He makes himself a peanut butter sandwich, getting pulled out of his mind when his phone vibrates in the pocket of his sweatpants.
"Mason's coming over. Apparently he has to tell me something big."
Scott's face falls a little. "Oh. Okay. What's going on, you think?"
"Knowing Mason, it's about a guy."
Scott snorts and types, "Are you going to tell him about us?"
He is about to hit send, but then deletes the message and wishes Liam good luck instead. Were they an item? Could Scott safely use the word 'us'? Were they there yet? Again, with Allison it had just happened, but somehow with Liam he feels like it needs to be officially stated. Scott knows Liam needs that reassurance; fact over suspicion. His mind doesn't work well with theories: goes overboard with them eventually.
The sound of the doorbell ringing makes Scott look up. He frowns, shuffling into the hallway. He can see two shimmers through the door's window, instantly recognizing them.
"Hey! What are you doing here?"
Stiles has a sneaky grin on his face and Lydia gives him an obvious look. "Duh," she comments, already sidestepping past Scott. "We want to know how the date went."
Scott shakes his head, closing the door behind his friends. "You two are crazy. We're seeing each other tomorrow anyway. Couldn't you just have waited?"
"Please, after everything you have told us you can't expect us to wait that long," Lydia explains, flailing onto the sofa in the living room. "Mama McCall out?"
"She is."
"Come on, dude," Stiles impatiently interrupts. "Tell us. Any uncomfortable moments during your swimming date? Any awkward boners?" He wiggles his eyes suggestively.
Scott's eyes widen and Lydia throws him an offended look.
"Oh, come on, you cannot possibly believe they didn't end up splashing and messing around with each other?" Stiles defends himself.
In a hurry, Scott retreats to the kitchen to get his breakfast, knowing he won't be able to hide his blush.
When he comes back in, his friends are silently interrogating him with their eyes.
"You guys are the-"
"Tell us!"
So Scott complies, telling every detail about his date, finalizing with the kiss. Lydia has spread her hands in front of her chest, like she has done many times before, and Stiles is just nodding along with his eyes clothes, moaning teasingly. Scott pretends he's going to throw his empty plate at him, causing Stiles to lift his legs protectively, laughing.
"So you're not disappointed I did kiss him on the first date?" Scott asks Lydia after he has finished his story.
The girl blinks at him for a second, confused, because she can't remember having advised Scott. Then she recalls. "Oh, no, you're fine. You guys have been seeing each other for a while."
"Yeah, as friends, not as, like," he swallows, "boyfriends."
Stiles sits up a little. "Are you boyfriends now?"
Scott shrugs. "I'm not sure. I don't think so, anyway."
Stiles cocks his head a little. "Dude, if I kiss Malia, I'd say we were together."
"Yeah, but I'm not sure if it works that way with Liam and I," Scott admits honestly.
"Why not?" Lydia wants to know.
"Because it's Liam. I want to do it right."
Stiles rolls his eyes, groaning. "Oh, man, come on! Then ask him already," he whines. "You two are like…meant for each other. You're there. You're at the…you know…" He gestures with his hands. "…At the spot. The place."
Scott smiles sheepishly, staring at the carpet under the coffee table. "I know…" he mumbles. "…But still. This is Liam. I want to make sure he's okay with it."
Lydia nods slowly, Scott's point dawning on her. "Yeah, I suppose I get that. Given Liam's depression, you want to give him enough space and confidence to be able to express himself."
"Exactly," Scott confirms, giving her a thankful look, because Lydia has managed to turn his thoughts into words in a better way than Scott could do.
"So when are you going to ask him?" Stiles asks, finally a bit more seriously.
"Well, I wanted to see him again today, but he's busy," Scott answers.
"Shame," Stiles replies.
"Not really…" Lydia interferes. "…Now Liam has time to process it all."
Scott looks up. He hadn't thought of that yet. "Yeah, that's true." He smiles. "It's alright," he then says, brushing it off with a wave of his hand. "We'll be alright."
"Just enjoy your pink cloud for a moment…" Lydia swoons, closing her eyes as she sways. Scott joins her playfully.
Stiles purses lips judgmentally. "You guys are pathetic. Hell, I like Malia, but you don't see me going all…" he twirls his index finger next to his head.
Lydia scoffs at him. "Just you wait. After you have kissed Malia, you will be the same."
"Who says I haven't already?"
"Oh, please."
Scott laughs, shaking his head at their friends' bickering. After they have finally stopped, Stiles goes back to their earlier conversation. "Seriously, though, when are you going to ask him?"
Scott thinks for a moment. "Actually…there's one thing left that I have to do first."
Lydia and Stiles give each other a weird look.
The next day, Scott's convinced the universe has taken some of Stiles' characteristics and is toying with him. He doesn't see Liam all day, and therefore has to wait until lacrosse practice. Yesterday, late at night, he had sent Liam a message, telling him good night, but unfortunately he hadn't received a reply to it. That meant Scott hadn't talked to Liam for more than twenty-four hours.
Twenty-seven, to be precise.
Scott hurries to the locker rooms after his last class, recognizing how crazy his feelings for Liam have already become. He is literally running, because he cannot wait to see him. Feeling like a child that can't wait to get to his playdate, he changes, all the while scanning the room, only to find Liam is not there yet.
Coach is about to start his rant when Liam barges through the door, panting a little. "Sorry, got held up," he apologizes after seeing the annoyed look that is being thrown at him.
Scott's heart is pounding in his throat. Liam's steals a glance and Scott instantly starts beaming. The younger one shies away, quickly changing into his gear. Meanwhile, Coach explains their training for the day; Scott only registering half of it.
He finally has a chance to catch Liam outside, on the field. The team is taking turns shooting at the goal, so Scott steps behind Liam in line – Stiles on his heels.
"Hey," Scott greets him, lightly tapping his shoulder with his glove covered hand.
Liam turns around with a small smile. "Hi."
"How are you?" Scott asks.
"I'm good…" Liam answers, "You?"
Scott ignores Stiles' annoyed groaning behind him. He can practically hear his friend whispering in his ear 'get it over with already'.
"I'm great," Scott answers, voice coated in a thick layer of agitation. "I, err… I was actually wondering if we could hang out tonight. I wanted to talk to you."
Liam nods. "Yeah… I actually wanted to talk to you, too."
Scott's face falls a little from Liam's serious tone. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah," Liam answers quickly, eyes widening a little. "Yeah, no, everything is fine. I promise."
Scott swallows, a bit anxious he pushes, "What…what do you wanna talk to about?"
"I'll tell you tonight, okay?" Liam refutes, reverting his attention back to the training, because it's almost his turn.
"Liam," Scott says, grabbing his arm. "If it's about what happened on Saturday, I'm sorry…"
Scott doesn't know why he says that, because he's not. He's definitely not sorry, he had absolutely loved it. Most likely, he's apologizing because he's fearing the worst.
Liam gives him a weird look. "Scott…" He scoffs. "You don't have to be sorry, it's not about that." He smiles at him reassuringly, before turning towards the goal and taking his shot.
Scott sighs deeply, falling into Stiles' open arms, who is chuckling delightfully.
That evening, Scott shows up at Liam's house after dinner. There's that awkward moment at the front door where neither of them seem to know what to do; if they should hug or kiss each other, so Scott decides to go for an awkward arm wrap right when Liam's about to take off, making it even more uncomfortable. They both exclaim a forced chuckle. Then, Liam rushes them up the stairs, meaning Scott doesn't get a chance to talk to Liam's parents, for the second time around. He's starting to find it a bit odd, not wanting to be the sneaky older guy who's secretly dating their son. So after the door has been safely shut by Liam, Scott brings it to the surface.
"Is there a reason I'm not allowed to meet your parents?" he asks, sitting down onto Liam's desk chair.
The boy throws him a look. "You have met my stepdad," he reminds Scott.
"Yeah, for like, two seconds. I haven't even seen your mom," Scott replies. "Don't they think it's weird?"
Liam shrugs. "They know you were coming over," he attempts to excuse the situation. "And they're usually too busy with work anyway."
Scott nods, but isn't really convinced. However, he decides to let it go for now, since they already have enough to talk about tonight. "So, what's up?" he there for asks.
"Oh," Liam says, sitting down onto the end of his bed. "Err, don't you want to go first?"
"Nah, mine can wait," Scott assures him. He smiles gently as it seems like he has taken Liam a bit off guard by that.
"Okay, err…" Liam stammers, looking for words. "It's just… I thought a lot about what you said on Saturday, about your past and not recognizing your old self anymore and stuff…" He snorts. "Even though that 'old self' was only a week ago, but still, you get my point."
Scott hums.
"Alright, so… Yeah." Liam licks his lips. "I guess I just… I wanted to know, like…" He groans, throwing his head back and rubbing his face. "Sorry, I don't know why I'm having such a hard time all of a sudden." He chuckles awkwardly, before taking a deep breath. "Okay. Yeah, I'm fine. What I wanted to say… No, what I wanted to ask is if-" Another groan.
Scott's eyebrows have risen, amusement on his face. He gets up from the chair, crouching down in front of the bed. His pinky finger catches Liam's, grinning comfortingly.
Liam stares down at it for a second, but then chuckles. "Thanks," he says.
Scott shrugs it off.
"What I wanted to say is that I want to feel the same way as you do. I want to start figuring out how I can put all this behind me, if that makes sense?" Scott nods. "So, I was wondering if you had, like, any ideas. Or tips?"
Scott gives Liam a second to breathe and then asks, "Done?"
Liam chokes out a laugh. "Yeah," he answers, a disbelieving frown on his face. "It's weird how much this…" He wiggles their fingers. "…Actually helps."
"I suppose it's just our thing," Scott replies casually. Liam confirms by making a low noise in the back of his throat.
The older guy moves into a more comfortable position, making sure he doesn't let go of Liam's pinky. He thinks for a moment about the boy's question. "I guess it's all about acceptance," he offers after a while. "So maybe you can start by asking yourself what's keeping you from that."
Liam nods.
"But I don't want you to take on too much," Scott admits straight afterwards. "I mean…so much has happened the past couple of weeks. Don't, like, overdo it…"
"I know," Liam says gratefully. "I'm okay, actually. To be honest, on Saturday I started feeling weird again about everything I had said at the pool, but as soon as I noticed I was overthinking it, I got up and distracted myself. It went well, which is why I texted you."
"I know, and I'm proud of you," Scott repeats his words from Sunday morning. "What did you do?"
A blush colours Liam's cheeks. "I played a videogame."
Scott snorts. "And I'm the terrible liar?"
Liam moans, flailing himself onto his back on the mattress. "Okay, I thought about… Oh, you know what I thought about, leave me alone."
Scott takes the opportunity, crawling up onto the bed next to Liam. "No," he replies as seriously as he can. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Liam reaches for a pillow and nudges Scott's face with it. "Jerk."
Scott grins down at him, putting a hand under his head as he rests on his side. Liam's feet are dangling over the end of the bed, hugging the pillow to his chest. Scott stares down into his eyes. Liam's breathing sounds a little ragged and after Scott notices this, he shifts away a little. "Anyway, I just remembered, I have read this thing about people writing a letter to their old selves? You know, like, an apology or something you want to tell your past self to show you're okay with everything. Maybe that's an idea?"
Liam thinks about it. "I'm not much of a writer, though," he says with a scrunched up nose.
Scott shrugs lightly. "You don't have to be," he says, in the meantime kicking off his shoes to get more comfortable. "Like, you don't have to write an entire book, just a letter."
Liam debates it for a beat longer, but then accepts the idea. "I suppose it's worth a shot, isn't it?"
"Definitely," Scott assures him.
A silence falls between them. One where Scott's arm starts sleeping from the position it's in, resulting in him moving onto his back. Liam scoots a little to give him more space. They both end up staring at the ceiling quietly, each occupied with their own thoughts – or maybe just enjoying each other's company.
"I'm also thinking about telling Mason," Liam breaks the quiet.
Scott turns his head. "About what?" he asks, confused.
"About what I have been going through."
"He still doesn't know?"
Liam shakes his head. "Nope. He has been too busy with Brett, which I don't blame him for," he explains. "I think, since we have been friends for so long, he just expects me to talk about stuff, you know? Like, he doesn't really pay attention anymore. I don't mean that in a bad way."
"No, I get what you mean," Scott soothes. "The only reason why my friends are so on to me all time is because they know me really well. Stiles once told me he can tell from really simple things how I'm feeling? It's weird. I'm even more inclined to believe Lydia's explanation, who just keeps saying she's psychic."
Liam chuckles. "I wouldn't be surprised if she actually is."
"Me neither," Scott admits, grinning. "But…yeah, if you want to tell Mason, tell him. It could be a good thing, maybe you'll start accepting yourself a bit more as well."
"Hmhm, that's what I was thinking. Besides, he is my best friend. And, just yesterday, he was talking about Brett and sure, that's mostly fun stuff, but it did make me realize he basically tells me everything, so I should do the same," Liam confirms. "And now, because of all my talks with you, I can actually explain it."
Scott takes the personal compliment.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Liam then asks.
"Oh, yeah," Scott remembers. Lying next to Liam like this had almost made him think they actually already were an item. "It's actually kinda the same as what you just said about you and Mason. I wanted to tell you about something, since, you know, I know so much about you, I feel like there's this one important thing left you don't know about me. Somehow it just never came up."
Liam's face turns more serious. "What is it?"
