Chapter 9: The nightmare
Wizarmon observed Makoto through the half opened door of the hospital room. The first rays of sun light could be seen coming through the room's window. The boy had been sleeping for many hours. His face had been frowned most of the time. A nurse had found a cell phone in his pocket and contacted someone. The mage wondered if the Merchant was going to appear.
He felt uneasy. It was impossible to stop worrying over the human. However, Wizarmon had no clue for the reason behind that. But he had to figure it out; otherwise he'd lose his mind. The digimon quietly completely opened the room's door and slipped in. Makoto's white jacket and his other clothes were over a chair close by. He was wearing hospital clothes. The mage tried to concentrate on the other's mind. If he could see some of the boy's memories, maybe he would understand their connection.
He had noticed it when he met Makoto outside Ken's house. The human looked at the digimon in awe. Small tears were forming on those brown eyes. Once Wizarmon formally introduced himself and asked the boy's name; the teenager's face became pale. He looked down and shrieked.
"You can call me Katsura-"
"That's not your name." Wizarmon interrupted quickly. The other looked at him in a strange mix of shock and hope.
"How do you know, Wizarmon?"
"I can tell when someone lies to me. If you don't intend to be honest I'll have to read your mind."
The mage tried. All he found was noise.
"I don't understand… I can't read your mind!"
"You don't need to know my name, do you?" The human had adopted a cold tone. "Let's go already. We have work to do."
The digimon remembered their first encounter as he rest his hands on the forehead of the sleeping Makoto.
I need to concentrate more. He told himself. Wizarmon closed his eyes. He forced himself past the noise and finally saw something. What he didn't expect was that he wasn't seeing through Makoto's eyes.
He had walked into a strange rocky room. There was a metallic chair with restrains in the middle of it. Strings and cables were connected to the chair and covered the ceiling. Makoto was sitting on the floor, in front of the chair, his back to Wizarmon. He was holding someone in his arms. Suddenly, data particles were seen flying from where Makoto was. A metallic sound was heard when a bloody helmet hit the floor, right next to Makoto. It should have been on his lap. Wizarmon ran to the boy and found him alone, covered in someone else's blood. He still kept his arms in a position that made it seem like he was holding someone. The human had a pained expression as he looked at the empty space between his arms. He trembled as big tears fell from his dead eyes.
"Makoto, what happened?" Wizarmon asked in deep concern. "Where is he?"
"I believe it's quite obvious what happened to that boy." A malicious voice came from the other side of the room. "He was of great help until the end. And he will continue to be."
A cloaked figure Wizarmon couldn't discern was coming in their direction. Suddenly he felt an enormous wave of rage coming from Makoto, along with a fierce stream of sadness and desperation. Those painful thoughts invaded the digimon's mind mercilessly.
You killed him. You did this to him. How could you? He trusted you... You tortured him… Now I'll never see him again. I'll never see my little brother again. My little brother... No… NO… Please, no… Bring him back! Give me my little brother back. Please. Please, God… Please, someone… I'll do anything. Let me see him again. I'll do anything… I don't care if I die. I want him back. I want him back… Please, give him back to me… I want him back… Murderer! Murderer! I'll kill you! I'll kill you! You hurt him! You murdered him! I'll make you suffer! I'll kill you! I'll kill you! I'll kill you! I'LL KILL YOU!
Wizarmon was forcefully pulled out of Makoto's mind by a hand on his shoulder. The Merchant was there, in the hospital's room. He was wearing a raincoat, a scarf and a big hat. The mask still hid his face.
"Do you understand the trouble I had to go through to erase your tracks? This was the worst hospital to bring him." The Merchant complained, picking Makoto's clothes up.
"Then next time you take him to the hospital instead of entertaining Demon Lords." Wizarmon said with annoyance. He was, however, still shaken by what he had experienced.
"I'll assume from here. You're free to go to any place you want until I need your services again."
"You can't just grab Makoto and leave. The doctors and the nurses-"
"As I said," the Merchant's voice was sinister, "I erased your tracks. Now get off of my sight."
Unwilling, Wizarmon opened the window and jumped out of the hospital. The masked being watched as the mage flew into the morning.
The Merchant made a movement with his gloved hands and a bubble formed around Makoto. After a few minutes, the boy woke up fully recovered and the bubble vanished.
"You…" The young man said in a weak voice.
"You look terrible, Makoto-kun. Having nightmares?"
The boy gulped and looked away.
"Don't tell me you're regretting Lilithmon's murder."
"I did what I had to do." The teenager murmured, without conviction.
"Get up, there are people wanting to see you."
"People?"
"Don't play dumb. You contacted them and they gave you a number. You're lucky I intercepted those two before they reached the hospital."
Realization made Makoto jump from the bed.
"Where did you take them?"
"They are safe, waiting for you in their favorite bakery, where I dropped them."
"You'll just let me see them?" Makoto was in disbelief.
"You did a good job today. This is a little reward to show my gratitude."
"Is this… really the case?" Makoto was suspicious. The Merchant leaned toward him and said:
"You came all this way because you wanted your family back. Things must be confusing for you, I don't blame your… weakness."
"Love doesn't make me weak." Makoto stated.
"Love, huh? There are many things you need to understand. I'm giving you the opportunity to do so."
In Taichi's and Hikari's bedroom, when the sun shone on the sibling's faces, it didn't wake them up. The reunion that had started intense only became worse after Ken called Hikari and met them in Yamato's place. The revelation of the boy's visit to the Dark World kept the siblings from sleeping. The chosen children who attended the gathering agreed on having another meeting the following day, with the entire group.
Wizarmon knocked on their window from the outside. Surprised, Tailmon hurried to open it and let him in.
"What the hell happened last night?" Taichi had urgency in his voice.
"Ken told you, right? I don't think I apologized for helping in his accidental kidnapping."
"Who's that mysterious Makoto boy? Why did he kill Lilithmon?" Hikari asked in anguish.
"I'll explain everything to everyone later. But first… would it be too selfish if I talked to Tailmon alone?" Wizarmon pleaded. His voice sounded weak and full of shame and regret. Without anyone saying anything, Tailmon held his hand.
"We'll be back soon." She assured Hikari.
"You better be." Taichi whispered to himself.
Koushiro was running in the dark. Desperately, he looked back and saw nothing. It was hard to breathe. His legs felt heavy. But he couldn't stop. He had to escape.
"It's pointless, Koushiro." A demonic voice came from every direction. "You can never run away from me."
The boy's panic grew.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Koushiro cried. "Don't do that to me again! Please, leave me alone!"
Countless white chains emerged from the ground and bound the boy. He struggled but couldn't free himself.
"No no no no…" His desperation was greater than ever. "Please, no!"
"Your life doesn't belong to you, Koushiro." The voice sounded louder. "Accept already that you are forever mine."
"SOMEONE HELP ME! PLEASE, SOMEONE!"
The chains pulled the young man forward. A ray of white light came from above and shone over a metallic chair with restrains on the arms.
"Not that! Please, not that! Kill me already, kill me but don't put me there again!" Koushiro pleaded among tears.
"You'll never escape this destiny."
"NO!"
"Once more, come to me, my child of light."
"NOOOOO!"
Koushiro woke up on his bed. Tentomon was asleep by his side. The boy had never screamed when having those nightmares, which was the reason nobody ever knew he had them. Trembling, he rose from the bed and walked to the bedroom's door. He opened the door slowly and went to the restroom, closing himself in there. It was small, but the mirror above the faucet made it look bigger. Koushiro opened the faucet and watched the water being expelled. He caught some on his hands and washed his face. Still with the eyes closed, the boy rested his hands on the sink.
"It's not real." He told himself. "Everything is alright. It's not real."
He intended to lift his arms but couldn't do it. It was like they were glued to the sink. Koushiro opened his eyes and saw his arms covered in blood, with silver needles and strings coming out of them. He looked at the mirror and saw his face almost completely red, dripping blood. An iron crown pierced his head with metallic thorns. It felt like fire.
"You can never escape me, Koushiro." The malefic voice said in the back of his mind.
Tentomon woke up after hearing his partner's terrified scream. The bug Digimon raced to the restroom and slammed the door open. He found Koushiro sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. The human was shaking violently, holding his head with both hands and crying.
"It's not real. It's not real. It's not real." He muttered to himself.
"Koushiro-han!" Tentomon tried to get his friend's attention. "What is wrong? Please, talk to me!"
"I never wished for any of this. I didn't want this to happen. Make it stop. Someone make it stop."
"Koushiro-han, can you hear me?" Tentomon touched the boy's arm gently. That made the chosen child look at him.
""…Tentomon…"
"What happened, Koushiro-han? Why are you like this? Are you scared of something?" Tentomon's voice was almost breaking.
"I'm sorry…" Koushiro's voice was very low. "I had a nightmare… and then I thought I had seen something…"
"Don't apologize for having a nightmare." Tentomon gave his partner a hug. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No. It's just that… I don't even understand the dream; I wouldn't know how to describe it…"
"Let me help you to stand up."
Koushiro wrapped his arms around Tentomon and allowed his friend to lift him.
"Thank you… I'm sorry…"
"I've told you already to stop apologizing."
Back to his feet, Koushiro looked at the mirror again and saw his normal reflection. He wiped the tears with the back of his hands and took a deep breath.
"Did I wake my parents up?" The chosen child had urgency in his voice and rushed to the hall. He noticed that the door to his parents' room was open. He peeked inside but found nobody. The kitchen's light was on. He went there with Tentomon. Koushiro checked the outside door. It wasn't locked.
"It's like they left in a hurry. Where would they go in the middle of the night?" The boy murmured.
"I don't know." Tentomon replied, sitting at the table. Koushiro sat across from him and looked down.
"I don't want to talk about that dream."
"I think you'd feel better if you talked about it, Koushiro-han. I don't want to force you… but seeing you like that… it scared me. And I won't stop worrying if you don't tell me something. Please, Koushiro-han…"
"I'm alright."
"STOP SAYING THAT!" Tentomon shouted. "Why are you still lying to me? I just want to help!"
"I don't need help!" Koushiro said angrily, hiding his face in his hands.
"Did it have to do with what the Merchant said? The way he talked about the children who weren't adopted… he was trying to hurt you, wasn't he?"
Koushiro looked up, surprised. Tentomon sunk in the chair, realizing what he had said.
"I-I heard the conversation you had with your parents back when Vamdemon was about to be reborn… I was going to wait until you were ready to discuss that with me…" The bug digimon's tone was apologetically and ashamed.
"Oh, Tentomon…" Now, Koushiro was the one who seemed to be ashamed. "I'm so sorry."
"Koushiro-han, you're not obliged to tell me anything. I don't want to make you feel guilty over it. I just…"
"You want to help me." Koushiro felt guilty. Tentomon was being kind and he was making him concerned. Again. He should have learnt not to do that. "I'm not a good friend, am I?"
"Koushiro-han…"
"When I… when I found out that I was adopted…" Koushiro wanted to be honest with Tentomon. He felt he owed his friend that, especially after everything they went through together. "… I didn't really understand what that meant. I knew that my parents weren't connected to me by blood but I didn't know what to think of it. So I turned on the computer to find answers… but what I found made me feel…"
Koushiro looked down again. Tentomon noticed that he was shaking.
"Tentomon, human beings can be vile sometimes… they make up lies and make people feel horrible for things out of their control… but back then I didn't understand that. I thought it was all true… I thought that I was something worthless that could only bring disgrace to my parents. I thought that I was in a lower level compared to every other person in the world. So I tried to be… I tried not to ever cause problems to anyone. I wanted to help others the best I could… I tried to be the best son possible to my parents. But I end up making others worry about me. I want to change myself. I know what I have to do but I mess up everything all the time."
Koushiro's voice was breaking, and Tentomon felt his heart ache.
"You don't need to force yourself to change all at once, Koushiro-han. You're not the same person you were when we met. You might not notice it but you are getting better." The bug Digimon tried to cheer his friend up.
"Tentomon, you don't understand." The boy continued. He still kept his head down. "There's a part of me you don't know about. Nobody knows about it. It's like there's a force inside me always holding me back. A force I can't escape nor break free from… a force that stops me in my tracks. And even though I want to be honest with you and the others… even though I know I have to confront it… this thing in me doesn't let me burden anyone with my problems. It makes me feel so guilty… and so afraid." A couple of tears fell from the boy's eyes, which made his friend cross over the table and hug him tightly.
"You're not burdening anyone." Tentomon assured. "You have so many people who love you, Koushiro-han. So many people who want your best. And I just want you to be happy."
"I know… but still I…"
"I am glad you told me this."
The human boy could tell that his friend was being sincere. However, the reason behind that escaped his understanding.
"Why?"
"To tell me this required a lot of courage from you. It was hard but you just surpassed the force that paralyzes you."
"There's still so much more…"
"No need to hurry. Take a step at a time, Koushiro-han. I'll be right here to help you. And even when you fail to beat the resistance, I'll still be right here. Until you're no longer scared. And even after that."
The two of them stayed in silence for long minutes. The chosen child hugged Tentomon back, hesitantly.
"I wonder if those children felt the same thing." Koushiro whispered. "If they believed they had no worth… but then, when they thought they had found meaning in their lives, they were betrayed. Whatever I've been through can't compare to that. I don't know what I would do if it had happened to me."
"That will never happen to you. I swear." The digimon had a dead serious tone.
"Tentomon, I didn't mean-"
"I know. Sorry. I meant that I'll never let anyone hurt you."
Tentomon felt Koushiro's body get stiff suddenly. The human broke the hug.
"I think I'm going to buy something for us to eat." The chosen child said, standing up and looking away. "There's a bakery my parents like a lot that has-"
"Koushiro-han, it's okay." Tentomon had a patient tone. "I won't be upset if you want some alone time to think things over."
"Tentomon, I…" The boy wanted to say so many things. Yet, he couldn't find the right words. He felt his voice being sucked by his insides. "S-sorry… thank you…"
"You can still buy me something tasty if it makes you feel better." Tentomon chuckled. Koushiro gave him a little smile, replying "yes."
The boy put on jeans and a hooded coat, grabbed his wallet and went to the bakery. As soon as he arrived there, he saw a couple of girls giggling and pointing to a table a little far from the entrance.
"It's so cute. You don't usually see teens coming with their parents to eat breakfast." One of them said.
Koushiro glanced at the direction indicated by the girls and felt his body freeze.
His parents were sitting across from the boy with the white jacket he had seen the day before.
