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Petunia Evans

1562 Highbrush Street

Cokeworth

Lily stared at her own handwriting on the unopened envelope which had just been dropped in front of her at the breakfast table. Gingerly, she reached out and took it in her hand. Tears pricked her eyes but she bit them back, unwilling to cry in front of the whole school. She turned her face towards the magical ceiling, which showed blue October skies that only served to upset her more.

"Lily, are you okay?" Alice asked from beside her, looking at Lily's upturned face and quivering lip.

"Yes," the redhead answered, hurriedly shoving the returned letter into her pocket and snatching a fork. "No worries, just my sister being a bit difficult, that's all."

"Just making sure," Alice shrugged and returned to her own plate.

"Oh, Lils," Marlene broke in from across the table where she had been holding a spirited conversation with Sirius Black. Now she was facing her two friends, a wide smile on her mouth. She placed her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her hands, still smiling broadly at Lily and Alice, both of whom were placidly eating their eggs. Marlene always went for dramatic effects. In all likelihood she simply wanted to tell them she had finally gotten a Morgana chocolate frog card. "I heard something interesting this morning," the dark haired girl simpered, her smile fading slightly as her friends merely continued eating their breakfast.

"Oh?" Alice asked absently, skillfully ignoring her friend's pout.

"Yes!" Marlene cried. Clearly whatever she wanted to tell them seemed important to her. "I heard Sarah Carroll telling Emmeline this morning that Connor Goldstein, that Ravenclaw who's in charms with us, fancies Lily."

"What?" Lily asked, her green eyes snapping up to look at her friend. Across the table and a few seats down, she noticed Remus and James Potter looking over at Marlene as well. Remus shuffled closer, his face curious. James, upon realizing that Lily was looking at him, gave her an exaggerated wink and waggled his eyebrows before turning back to his plate and stabbing rather aggressively at his eggs.

"Yes, Sarah was saying he told Mile Pilchak that he thinks you're bloody gorgeous and the smartest girl in the class. And then Miles is on the quidditch team with Bertha Jorkins, who can't keep her mouth shut about anything and apparently was yelling about it yesterday in the courtyard where Sarah overheard."

"Oh." Lily frowned and digested the information while wracking her brain for anything she could remember about Connor Goldstein. She came up with almost nothing. He was an average fifteen-year-old boy who was in Ravenclaw and sat a few rows behind her in charms. His light brown hair fell softly over his forehead and he had chocolate brown eyes. Now that she thought of it, Lily didn't think she had ever heard him talk.

"That's probably rubbish," Alice scoffed. "No offense, dear," she shrugged apologetically towards Lily. "I don't mean that as an insult towards you but you've hardly spoken to Connor and we all know that Sarah Carroll is just an awful gossip and I would hardly call Bertha Jorkins a reliable source."

"But it came from Miles—" Marlene started to defend herself.

"You said Sarah overheard Bertha Jorkins talking about it in the courtyard yesterday," Alice said pointedly, putting an arm around Lily. "And if we were to believe everything Bertha says, then it would seem you have been pretty busy, Marlene."

The brunette flushed.

"Who's Bertha Jorkins?" Lily asked, her brow furrowed. Marlene's head whipped towards her and she gaped at her friend.

"You haven't met Jorkins yet?" Marlene gaped. Lily shook her head. Marlene groaned. "That's not fair. It's the end of October! You're long overdue for a dose of Bertha Jorkins."

"But who is she?" Lily asked again.

"She's a seventh year Ravenclaw and the worst busy body you'll ever meet," Marlene said, frowning at the table.

"She's made it her own personal mission to ruin everyone's life at least once," Alice agreed.

"Well…alright then," Lily said slowly. "So you think it's nonsense what they said about Connor? And I should just ignore it?"

"Well—" Alice hesitated, turning to Marlene for help. Marlene straightened up and turned away from her friends for a moment. James and Remus, who had been pretending to be deep in conversation, looked up eagerly.

"What do you think, Remus?" Annoyance flashed across James' face for a moment as his friend hurriedly slid over towards the girls.

"I think Alice is right and that we should remember that Bertha Jorkins isn't a very reliable source," the boy said authoritatively, obviously enjoying the fact his advice had been solicited. Marlene's face fell at his words and Remus quickly added, "but I've definitely seen Connor staring at Lily a few times in charms. It wouldn't be the craziest thing if he did fancy her. And I think they would make a wonderful couple."

"See!" Marlene cried, pumping a fist in the air. "He thinks it's true! Oh, Lils, maybe Connor will ask you to Hogsmeade! I saw a notice that the first visit is to be this weekend, on Halloween!"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves here," Lily laughed, watching James out of the corner of her eye and gauging his reaction. He stared sullenly at the group, his breakfast sitting forgotten on the table. Lily felt a pang of guilt. For the past few weeks, after their row in the corridor when James hexed Severus, Lily had done her very best not to think about him at all. He had continued as he had since they arrived at school, being obnoxious in public and making it very easy for her to reprimand him. Yet there continued to be odd little things…the night she had missed dinner to finish a potions essay and someone anonymously sent up a plate heaped with her favorite things…when she had been struggling with transfiguration she had woken up the next morning to find the essay she had left in the common room had been corrected...when Evan Rosier had called her a mudblood in potions he mysteriously turned up in the hospital wing with nasty boils spreading all over his body…

You have nothing to feel guilty for, she chided herself internally. He's the one who messed everything up. This isn't your fault. She shook her head quickly and turned back to her friends.

"I don't even know Connor," she said. Marlene grinned mischievously.

"Oh don't worry about that," she said. "There are ways to make sure you get to know him."

The fifth year gryffindors all walked to charms together that day. Lily dawdled so as to put as much distance as possible between herself and James without obviously doing so. Marlene and Alice walked with her, the three of them huddled conspiratorially as they discussed Sarah Carroll's gossip.

"You're mad!" Lily hissed at Marlene, who was smiling wickedly.

"It would work!" the girl insisted, crunching her neck so her head was almost directly underneath Lily's chin. "Just shove him into a broom closet and nicely ask—"

"Nicely ask?!" Lily shrieked, wondering if she had unwittingly become friends with a madwoman. "Marley, you don't just shove someone in a broom closet and nicely ask something."

Marlene shrugged, unfazed by the objection. "I guess just start snogging him then and see if he stops you."

Lily's face turned scarlet and she began to sputter. "I-but—I can't—not a—only—no!"

Marlene cackled and Alice laid a hand on Lily's shoulder. "Don't let her rile you up, Lily," the blonde said, her face kind though her eyes sparkled with laughter.

They entered the charms classroom and took their seats, Lily supremely self-conscious when she saw Connor Goldstein walk in. Marlene elbowed Lily in the side and the redhead kept her eyes trained on her desk, her face flaming. She shoved her hands unceremoniously in her pockets. In one she felt a crumpled piece of parchment which she hastily pulled out. The forgotten letter, which Petunia had returned to Lily unopened, sat on the desk and Lily had a sudden urge to rip it to shreds. Taking a deep breath, she got ahold of herself and shoved the parchment into her bag before turning to Professor Flitwick, who was starting the day's lesson.

When Flitwick instructed them to divide in pairs and begin practicing the new charm, Lily and her two friends immediately began discussing the "Connor Situation," as Marlene put it.

"You should talk to him, Lily," Alice whispered, flicking her wand lazily and producing a stream of blue sparks.

"And say what?" Lily demanded. "Oh, hello Connor, I'm Lily and I heard you think I'm bloody gorgeous and that's wonderful, say would you like to go snog in a broom closet?"

"Well, I don't know about a broom closet, but I won't say no to a snog."

Lily whipped around and saw Connor standing behind her, his hand going nervously to his hair. James did the same thing, she knew. Somehow it irritated her less when Connor did it. It seemed endearing rather than obnoxious.

"Er—" she stuttered. Behind her, she heard Marlene and Alice giggling.

"Hi, Lily," Connor said, his hands falling to his side. "I, er, heard from someone that you know about me, er, fancying you."

"You don't even know me," Lily blurted out, her face going beet red as soon as the words left her mouth. Connor's ears went red as well as his eyes dropped to the floor.

"I—I know that," he mumbled, his hand jumping to his hair and brushing it off his forehead. "But I would like to get to know you more…if—if you would be okay with that."

Lily's mouth hung open for a moment. Her face felt as though it were on fire.

"Yes, I would like that," she said at last.

Connor's face split into a grin. "Brilliant!" he cried, turning around quickly to ensure that Professor Flitwick, who was on the other side of the room helping Mary MacDonald with her wand movement, hadn't heard. "That—that's wonderful. So, er, would you—would you want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend? It's really perfectly fine if you have other plans, I just thought I would ask—you know-to get to know you."

"I would love to go," Lily answered, her own lips twitching up at Connor's embarrassment. It was odd, seeing a boy she barely knew get so flustered because he fancied her.

"Perfect! Fantastic, I—I'll see you around then?" Connor said quickly as he walked away, his head over his shoulder to face her. Lily smiled, both from joy and at the ridiculousness of it all.

"Yes, I'll see you around." Connor's brown eyes crinkled as his grin became even wider and at the moment, Lily forgot all about Petunia returning her letter and James Potter being a confusing toerag and purebloods calling her mudblood. Who cared when this boy she had just met had wonderful brown eyes and nearly tripped over his own two feet because he thought that she, Lily Evans, was bloody gorgeous?

"Aargh!"

Lily's moment was shattered by Sirius Black's screech. Evidently James, Sirius' partner, had been distracted while practicing, and as a result Sirius' nose was now shrinking at an alarming rate.

"Mr. Potter, what happened?" Flitwick cried as he stumbled past desks over to Sirius, who had a hand around his nose. "Let me see it, Mr. Black," the tiny charms teacher said, trying to pry Sirius' hand off his face.

"No!" Sirius exclaimed, pulling away. "Nobody can see me like this. I'm ruined! My face—my beautiful face—ruined!" he put his other hand to his forehead and pretended to faint, causing sniggers to pass through the class.

"Well, off to the hospital wing," Flitwick said, forgoing his efforts to get Sirius to remove his hand. "Mr. Potter, you'll have to find a new partner, I'm afraid. And do try to be more careful with this one."

"Will do, Professor," James said. His tone was light but his face was rigid. Lily couldn't see his eyes, he was staring at the wall in front of him, but she was sure if she had they would have been bright and stormy as they always were when James was upset.

What happened?

Was it because Connor—

No, don't be silly.

"Let's get back to practicing," Alice said softly, tugging Lily's elbow back to their corner of the room. Lily saw both her friends grinning at her and guessed they weren't going to get much practicing done after all.

"What did I tell you!" Marlene squealed victoriously, thumping Lily lightly on the back. "Did you see him, Lily? He's practically in love with you!"

"He's not in love with me, Marley!"

"I said practically! And anyways, he'll be a wonderful Hogsmeade date."

"Right…about that," Lily began nervously. The idea of actually being alone for an entire day ina strange village with a boy she barely knew had just occurred to her as being a bit frightening.

"We'll go with you, if you'd like," Alice said, giving Lily an understanding smile. "Obviously we'll give you a bit of privacy but we'll be there so it won't be so…overwhelming."

"Right," Lily sighed in relief. "Thanks."

"James, would you mind terribly if I was your partner?" The three girls turned to see Sarah Carroll smiling at James while she twirled a lock of hair around her wand. "Emmeline has already gotten it and I'm so rotten at charms I could use more practice."

"Not at all," James answered, flashing the girl a small smile. Lily felt her stomach turn over. Beside her she heard Marlene give a snort of laughter.

"Fancy Sarah Carroll cozying up to James like that," the brunette said, eyeing Lily. The redhead simply shrugged and tossed her hair over her shoulder.

"She's probably trying to get him to ask her to Hogsmeade," Alice said. "You know there's scores of girls who want to go with James. I know for a fact Almira Midgen and Caroline Sloane have already asked him. He was complaining about it last night."

"Well she could be a little less obvious about it," Marlene huffed, clearly displeased with the prospect of Sarah Carroll going to Hogsmeade with her old friend.

They all spun around again and saw James standing beside Sarah with his hand around hers, guiding her wand through the air.

"He's not exactly pushing her away, is he?" Alice said.

Lily said nothing and stared at her shoes. The elation she had felt from Connor's confession and question had evaporated and now she simply felt nauseous. Inside, her mind raged war against itself as she watched Sarah Carroll simper and James give her that small, genuine smile he had given Lily countless times over the summer.

He's free to do what he wants! You don't want him!

But it hurts to see him acting this way with someone else

Did you expect him to hold out forever?

He doesn't have to be so public about it!

He's being just as public as Connor was and that wasn't a problem.

Connor isn't a toerag.

Neither is James.

Yes he is!

No he isn't!

He is and I hate him.

He's not. He's wonderful and you love him.

But I don't want to. I have to stop.


"Girls!" Sarah Carroll screeched the next night as she pounced on her bed. Lily, who had been playing exploding snap with Marlene on the floor, glanced up.

"What happened?" Emmeline Vance asked excitedly from her bed. As Sarah's best friend, Emmeline was required to inquire excitedly whenever Sarah had an announcement.

The girl in question flopped onto her back and gazed dreamily at the ceiling. "You'll never guess who just asked me to Hogsmeade," she said dreamily.

"Oh, was it Hugo Lagerman?" Emmeline asked enthusiastically. "You were saying how he kept dropping hints at the library."

"No," Sarah said, sitting up and smiling at the dormitory. Her eyes lingered on Lily's for a moment before she sat back against her pillows. "James Potter," she said triumphantly.

"Sarah, that's wonderful!" Emmeline squealed, leaping to her feet. "How did you manage that?"

The blonde shrugged. "We just had a connection, I suppose," she said airily. "You know how it is with these things. By the way, Lily," she looked again at the green-eyed girl, who stared coolly back.

"Yes?" Lily asked, trying to keep venom out of her voice.

"I meant to ask you before but I suppose now is as good a time as ever." Sarah's eyes were narrowed and her voice was overly sweet as she smiled at her roommate. "You don't mind me going with James, of course. I know you two have some sort of history, but really that was done before you even got here. It won't be a problem, will it?"

Yes it will be, you bloody no good gossiping slag—

"No, not at all," Lily smiled back, equally sweetly, her green eyes blazing.

"Why aren't you asking me?" Marlene demanded, looking from Lily to Sarah, who were still engaged in their staring game. Sarah laughed derisively at this.

"Why would I ask you? It's none of your business who I go to Hogsmeade with, McKinnon."

"It is when it's one of my bloody best friends!" Marlene cried.

Sarah gave a high-pitched chuckle that held no mirth and squinted at Marlene. "It's still none of your bloody business, McKinnon, so piss off."

"You're the one who came in here screaming about your date!"

"That wasn't for your benefit!"

A heavy silence hung in the air. Marlene sat back down slowly. Emmeline watched the interaction with wide eyes. Lily stared down at the floor, feeling as though someone had gutted her.

"I—I forgot something in the common room," she mumbled. Before anyone could answer, Lily had run out the dormitory, allowing tears to fall for the first time.


Halloween arrived and Lily was lined up with Marlene and Connor to go to Hogsmeade. Alice had been asked out the night before by Frank Longbottom, a sixth year in their house, and so she was waiting up for him. Lily frowned slightly and tugged at the hem of her jumper that was just a mite too short.

It had been a long week. Connor had taken to talking to Lily in charms and walking with her between classes, which excited her, but also left her in a state of constant self-consciousness, feeling as though everybody knew about the date and were watching. In reality, many people were watching. Being new and very pretty and incredibly talented, Lily was an object of fascination to the Hogwarts gossip mill and the student body was interested to see which boy would succeed in winning her heart, especially as it seemed James Potter had lost it over the summer.

James was another reason it had been a long week. He had continued doing the small, quiet favors which Lily appreciated so much, but had stopped with the public and embarrassing gestures. While Lily was glad to be rid of the embarrassment, the newer James only served to confuse her. And now that he seemed to be talking to Sarah Carroll so much, going as far as to sit with her in the common room one night, it was too much.

Marlene left as they began to walk outside, claiming to have seen a friend though she winked when Lily caught her eye. Lily sighed slightly and began twisting her hands around.

"Are you okay?" Connor asked, taking Lily's fidgeting wrist gently in his hand and looking down at her. His eyes looked like pools of chocolate and Lily was struck at that moment of just how attractive Connor really was. How could she not have noticed him before?

"Yeah," she smiled at him. "Sorry, this jumper doesn't fit quite right."

Connor's hand moved to her back and he glanced appreciatively at her jeans and white sweater. "You look fantastic," he said sincerely. "Don't worry about it."

Lily grinned and moved so she stood directly next to him.

"So," she said slowly, her mouth still curled into a smile. "Should we start getting to know each other?"

Connor laughed and removed his hand from her back, moving it to brush his hair from his face. "Yes, I suppose we should," he said. "I'll start…er…d'you just want to ask questions? See what the other person wants to know? If it's something you don't want to talk about just say so."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Lily agreed, nodding.

"Right, so," Connor's voice shifted nervously. "er, do you have any brothers or sisters?"

Lily froze. She hadn't been expecting that question, which was ridiculous as it was a fairly typical question. She recovered quickly, though, and answered lightly. "Just one older sister, though she rather makes me wish I were an only child." Connor laughed again at this and Lily felt her confidence grow. He was very easy to talk to. "And you?" she prompted.

"Four sisters," he said. "Two older, two younger."

"Wow," Lily responded. "So you've got the whole 'girl talk' thing down? Should I come to you for hair advice?"

"I don't know how much help I would be," he joked. "but I would definitely be willing to try."

Lily felt her cheeks flame at this and she gaped at him. "I—well—"

"Your turn to ask a question," he reminded her softly. Lily took a deep breath and willed her face to return to a natural color.

"Right," she said, casting around for topics. Her eyes landed on James, who was helping Sarah Carroll into a carriage. No! She couldn't think of James right now. She was with Connor. Connor who was very sweet and easy to talk to and had lovely chocolate colored eyes. "Er—favorite subject?"

"Well this year I would say charms," he said with a grin as they approached a carriage of their own. "Usually—" he held his hand out to help her in, just as James had done for Sarah, "I like care of magical creatures."

"Really?" Lily asked in surprised.

"Yeah," he said sheepishly. "I like animals a lot. I've been looking into doing something with magizoology once I'm done here."

"That's wonderful!" Lily cried as the carriage rolled towards the village. "Really, Connor, it's amazing you have something you really like."

"How about you, Lilyflower?" he asked affectionately, his eyes bright. "What's the brilliant Lily Evans' favorite subject?"

"Well, I do love charms," she teased. "But if not charms then potions. I adore potions."

"Really?" Connor raised his eyebrows. "That's not usually a subject you hear people say they adore. I think the word 'loathe' is used more often than not."

Lily laughed. "Yes, I know most people aren't very fond of it," she said with a wry smile. "But something about it just relaxes me. I love how there's a process and it's all very straightforward. I'm muggle-born, you know, and so it was a great relief to me when I was learning all these magical things and there was a subject which required no magical knowledge, only an ability to follow instructions."

"Oh yes, I forgot you're muggle-born," Connor said. "What's that like? Was it strange to learn there's a whole other world?"

"Very strange," Lily told him. "It's like I don't fully belong in either, honestly. People back home think I'm strange because I stay in the house and read all sorts of funny books and some people here don't think I belong just because of my birth."

"Well, those are just prejudiced twats who are jealous of your talent," Connor said warmly as the carriage came to a halt just outside the Three Broomsticks. He gestured towards the pub and took Lily's hand. "Would you care to continue getting to know each other inside?"

She nodded and allowed Connor to pull her out of the carriage. They made their way to the bar. Just before they reached the door, Connor turned and bent down, whispering right in her ear, "I must say, Lily Evans, you just become more and more fascinating the longer I'm with you."

She blushed as he pulled away and opened the door. Behind her, Lily heard a grunt. She turned to see James and Sarah entering the pub as well. Sarah was chatting away happily about some fourth year hufflepuff who had kissed a second year. James' jaw was tight and his eyes flashed as they locked onto Lily's before she quickly turned away.

Connor found them a table by a window and they passed an hour discussing whether or not Professor McGonagall had ever been drunk, the merits of both wizard and muggle music, and a new band called the Weird Sisters which Lily had never heard of but Connor insisted was the greatest band to ever live.

"I'll get a record for you," he told her. "You said your birthday's in January? Perfect. I'm going to get you a record and then you'll see. They're wonderful."

"Okay, I'll listen to them. I'm just saying I don't think they can possibly be better than the Beatles—"

"Hello, lovebirds!" Marlene called as she slid into a seat next to Lily. Connor looked put out for a minute, but recovered quickly and flashed a smile at Lily's friend.

"Hi, McKinnon, how're you enjoying your day in the village?"

"It's been bloody brilliant," Marlene answered with a grin. "Between you two and Frank and Alice I've had a marvelous time. Connor, have you told our Lily here about the feast yet? Alice and I realized we forgot to mention it to her."

"No, I haven't!" Connor said, turning to Lily, whose eyebrows had shot up at the mention of a Halloween feast.

"There's a feast tonight?" the redhead asked.

"Yes, like the first night," Marlene said enthusiastically. "It's wonderful and the Great Hall is always decorated. You'll love it, Lils, it's positively killing."

"It is very nice," Connor agreed. "You'll have a great time, I promise."

Lily smiled reassuringly at him and they lapsed back into easy conversation, this time with Marlene commanding part of their attention.

"Oy! McKinnon!" The voice of Sirius Black preceded the person and Lily suppressed a groan as she saw the black haired boy, accompanied by Peter and Remus, appear and take a seat at their table.

"Future Mrs. Prongs," Sirius greeted Lily. "Goldstein." He gave Connor a curt nod.

"Hello Black, Pettigrew, Lupin," Connor said without much enthusiasm. Evidently this interruption was less welcome than Marlene's. "What can we do for you?"

"We just wanted to stop and say hello, that's all," Sirius said nonchalantly.

"I haven't seen Lily all day," Remus said, smiling at Lily, who grinned back.

"Oh, let them stay, Connor," she acquiesced. "They'll be less obnoxious if they know we're alright with them being here."

Connor sighed and took one of Lily's hands, but said nothing to argue. Sirius frowned as he looked at Lily and Connor's interlocking fingers.

"So are you two together now?" he asked with no preamble.

"Sirius!" Marlene cried, spilling butterbeer on the table in her indignation. "Don't ask questions like that, you prat! You know bloody well it's their first date now stop trying to ruin it!"

"I'm not trying to ruin anything!" Sirius said, raising his hands up in surrender. "Mad birds always jump to conclusions."

"She has reasons to—" Remus defended Marlene. "You know, Sirius, sometimes you're a little insensitive…"

"I just asked a bloody question!"

"You made things awkward!"

"They were already awkward!"

Connor gave a small cough and removed his hand from Lily's. "Right," he said slowly, looking pointedly at Sirius and Remus. "I'm going to the restroom and then after, would you like to go to Honeydukes, Lily?"

"Sure, Connor," she answered, shooting Marlene a warning don't you dare come too glance.

"Excellent," Connor said before walking away towards the bathroom.

"Er, Lily?" Remus asked quickly once Connor was out of sight.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Would you mind accompanying me outside for just a moment? There's, er, something I need to show you."

"We'll let Connor know you'll be just a moment if he comes back," Peter squeaked.

Lily gave Remus a puzzled look but rose nonetheless.

"What do you need?" she asked once they were outside the Three Broomsticks. Remus glanced around nervously, pulling his cloak tighter around him.

"Er—"

"About bloody time, Moony!"

Lily shrieked as James appeared out of thin air.

"Where did you—"

In answer he held up a bundle of silvery, fluid fabric. "Invisibility cloak," he said simply. "Family heirloom."

"Oh," Lily choked out, still not recovered from the shock. In a moment though, realization and anger hit her simultaneously. She whipped around to face Remus, who was looking at her apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Lily. Just hear him out."

"Remus!"

"He's one of my best friends. And you need this as much as he does." And with that, Remus walked back inside the pub. Lily made to go after him, willing herself not to sneak a look at James, but before she had taken more than three steps she felt his familiar hand close around her upper arm.

"Lily, come on," he pleaded. She froze. She hadn't heard that pleading, that vulnerability since the summer…

"What do you want?" she whispered.

"I want to start over," James said quietly, his hazel eyes staring at her beseechingly. "I want us to be friends. We don't have to be what we were this summer, but I don't want things to continue the way they are now."

"James—"

"I miss you, Lily," he cut her off, his eyes not once wavering. "I miss talking with you and laughing with you. Please, can we just be friends?"

Lily faltered. She wanted so badly to say yes, to hug him and tell him she wanted nothing more than to talk and laugh with him again. But images of Severus infiltrated her mind, and with him came images of the James she hated, the cruel, arrogant James. James who hexed Severus for no reason other than he could, James who threw a firework in someone's cauldron for a laugh, James who hexed younger students simply because they were annoying.

"I don't want to be friends with you, James," she said coldly, wrenching her arm from his grasp. He stared at her, his hazel eyes still imploring.

"Lily—"

"No!" she cried it out, her confusion and anger pouring out in the single syllable. "No. I don't want to be friends with you. You're arrogant. You're a bully. You're mean. I don't want to be friends with someone like that."

His eyes were no longer pleading, but cold and angry. James snapped his jaw shut and glared down at her. "Fine," he bit out, stepping back. "If that's what you want."

"It is," Lily whispered. Her face felt hot, though it was not from embarrassment. Once again, she felt tears needle past her eyes and she fought to keep them back as she turned on her heel and marched back into the pub, never once looking back at James.


The Halloween feast that night was a splendid affair, and Lily surely would have enjoyed every moment of it were no for the bitterness which permeated her mood following her conversation with James.

Marlene had asked what happened to put Lily in such a foul mood, but Lily said nothing and was spared from her friend's relentlessness by Alice, who was eager to share every detail of her date with Frank.

The feast passed slowly and Lily only picked at her food. Connor came over to the Gryffindor table to tell ask if she would like to meet the next day in the library to work on homework. Lily agreed with a smile, but the momentary happiness quickly dissipated once Connor returned to the Ravenclaws.

She was thankful when it was all finally over and she could go back to the dormitory. Lily walked with Alice and Marlene, who were still happily chattering about Alice's day, when they heard rustling coming from a nearby closet. Alice stopped her story of how Frank had insisted on buying her Honeyduke's chocolate, and sighed.

"That's Filch's cleaning supplies closet. Honestly, people have got to be more discreet. I suppose I should do something seeing as I'm a prefect." The blonde walked over to the closet and rapped smartly on the door before opening it. She gave a small shriek and backed up. Marlene and Lily both craned their necks to see what was so shocking. Both their jaws dropped instantly.

In the claustrophobic space, twisted around mops and bottles of vicious sounding magical cleaners, stood a very rumpled Sarah Carroll and James Potter. Both looked sheepishly at Alice. James refused to look anywhere near Lily.

"For heaven's sake!" Alice cried upon regaining her senses. "Honestly, Potter, you arguably have the most extensive knowledge of all the hiding spots in the castle and you choose this closet to snog in?"

James shrugged, his ears scarlet. He mumbled something about "not much time," and then made a big production of straightening his glasses, which sat lopsided on his nose.

"Ten points from Gryffindor," Alice said sadly. "Get back to the common room."

They all walked back in silence, either too tired or too embarrassed to make conversation. In the common room Lily bid goodnight to her friends, promising to tell them every detail of her date the next day." She glanced around the room as she walked to the spiral stairs. James had sat by the fireplace with Sarah and Emmeline, giving them his undivided attention. Lily ran up the stairs and fell into bed, allowing exhaustion to overtake her.

She slept long and hard, so long and hard in fact that she missed breakfast the following morning. When Lily finally made it down to the common room she half expected to find a plate of food with a note, as she had the previous two times she had missed meals.

There was nothing. The common room was deserted. Comprehension dawned on Lily as she realized, though she had suspected all along, who it was that left the food. And then Lily understood. She had chosen this. She had gotten what she wanted.

James was done.


Author's Note: Reviews—send them! I hope you liked this chapter and if you did, or if you didn't, or if you have a suggestion, please tell me! I admit I am a feedback driven person and reviews make my day so much better! I'm going to make an effort to respond to reviews down here from now on.

VileMalfoys Thanks for the reviews and the critiques, I'm trying to make the story as action-based as possible but it gets difficult as it doesn't always follow canon, which is why there is extensive background in the beginning.

Jilyforeva thank you so much, I'm glad you like it!

Alinajow20002003 thank you! I really like the Remus/Lily friendship and plan on really building it up. And I'm glad you like James getting jealous over it because I totally see that as being something he would do!