The January days slipped by and Lily awoke early on the morning of her sixteenth birthday to the sound of muffled footsteps. She sat up in her four poster bed, bleary eyed, and drew the curtains. Sarah Carroll, already dressed in her school uniform, was tiptoeing towards the door, weaving around the debris of clothes and magazines littering the dormitory floor.
"Sarah?" Lily called out, her curiosity getting the better of her. The blonde haired girl whipped around, her brown eyes widening slightly when they landed on the disheveled redhead.
"Oh," she said carelessly, edging towards the door. "I have to meet someone."
"At 6:15 in the morning?" Lily asked dubiously, glancing at the clock on her nightstand.
Sarah gave her a tightlipped smile and moved her hands to pat her already flat hair. "Yes, well
James is an early riser," she said, continuing to smile at Lily as she made to straighten her unwrinkled robes.
Lily's stomach dropped. She struggled to keep her face impassive as she stared at the grinning blonde. Slag! Lying bitch! Her mind screamed.
"Oh," she choked out. She felt her face grow red.
"Well, I'd best be off," Sarah said, flouncing to the door. She turned the handle and was about to step out when she turned around and flashed Lily a self-satisfied smile. "Oh, I nearly forgot," she purred in a saccharine voice. "Happy birthday."
Lily flopped back onto her mattress, her face hot and her mind racing.
She's just trying to rile you up, she told herself sternly. She sighed. Whether or not Sarah had been telling the truth, she had succeeded in getting under Lily's skin.
"Lils?" Alice's voice murmured from the neighboring bed. "What're you doing up at this hour?"
"Oh, um," Lily muttered, unable to think of a valid reason.
"Oi!" Marlene's excited shriek pierced the calm haze and the brunette appeared a second later, bouncing onto Lily's bed. "Happy birthday, Lily!" Marlene cried, pulling the redhead up and wrapping her in a tight hug.
"Thanks, Marlene," Lily mumbled into her friend's chest.
"You're sixteen!" Marlene chattered excitedly, releasing Lily and jumping down to rummage under the bed for something, chattering the whole time. "Blimey, my birthday's not until May. And look!" she called, making an excessive amount of noise from the floor. "You've got a fat pile of presents too!"
"What in Merlin's name is going on?" the irritated mutter of Emmeline Vance carried over to the girls.
"Nothing, Em," Alice said swiftly, shooting Marlene a warning glance. "Go back to bed. We'll make sure Marlene keeps it down."
Emmeline grunted and rolled over, not making another sound.
"For Merlin's sake, Marls, try to keep it down," Alice said quietly.
Marlene giggled and jumped up onto Alice's bed. "But birthdays are so exciting!" she said earnestly. "Say, Lily," she turned to her friend, who was rubbing her eyes. "Since we're up d'you want to open your presents?"
"Er, sure," Lily said, finally looking over the end of her bed and seeing the small pile of gifts which Marlene had been pawing through.
Marlene squealed excitedly and flung herself off Alice's bed. Lily sighed before swinging her legs over her bed and extracting her robe from her trunk and throwing it around her shoulders.
"Hold on," Alice said as she got out of bed. "Let me wake up Mary."
When Mary was awake and had stopped grumbling about being woken up, the four girls sat around the presents at the foot of Lily's bed.
"How did these even get here?" the redhead asked in a puzzled voice as she gazed at the gifts.
"House elves, how else?" Marlene answered, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"What's a house elf?" Lily asked, her brows knitting together in confusion.
"They're elves that work at Hogwarts," Mary said, smiling. "They're odd little things, sort of cute though. There's loads of them in the kitchen if you ever want to meet one."
"And they deliver presents?" Lily asked, now eyeing the packages a bit suspiciously.
Her friends laughed. "Yes," Alice said. "They do the cooking and cleaning and the laundry and deliver presents and things to students. I suppose there's no way for you to have known about them," she added thoughtfully, "seeing as you've lived in the muggle world until now. You almost never see them around the castle."
"Your tutor didn't tell you about them?" Mary asked, peering at Lily curiously.
"No," Lily said. "She really only taught me school lessons and told me about the laws I would be expected to follow. Everything else I heard from Severus and he never said anything about house elves."
"Well, they're not really something you'd think to bring up and explain," Alice said thoughtfully. "At least I wouldn't—"
"Anyways," Marlene cut in, looking slightly bored. "Open the presents, Lily! I'm dying to see what everyone got you!"
"Okay," Lily laughed, reaching for the first package. It was from Mary. Inside were a pair of pretty crystal butterfly hair clips, whose wings flapped every few seconds.
"Oh, Mary, you shouldn't have!" Lily cried, clipping one in her hair immediately. "They're beautiful," she said, admiring the one she held.
"It's no trouble," Mary said nonchalantly, though she looked extremely pleased. "I'm glad you like them."
"I love them!" Lily exclaimed, leaning over and enveloping the girl in a hug. "If all my gifts are this wonderful, it's going to be a wonderful birthday!"
The other presents included a hand mirror from Marlene and Alice that sang out compliments to whoever held it, a large box of chocolate frogs from the four Marauders, though Lily had a sneaking suspicion Remus had gone through most of the trouble, and a magical radio from Connor that everyone oohed and aahed over attached to a note reading "So you can finally listen to some wizarding music."
"Girls," Marlene said suddenly through a mouthful of chocolate frog. "What do you say we skip breakfast and stay here?"
They all agreed and sat back, munching on chocolate frogs and examining Lily's gifts.
At some point Emmeline got out of bed and went down to breakfast. She sent a rather irritated look at her roommates, but went ignored. Lily, as she rolled her eyes and watched Emmeline walk out of the room, noticed one last gift she hadn't yet unwrapped.
Mary, Marlene, and Alice were still fiddling with the radio and taking turns switching the station when they heard Lily let out a strangled gasp. They looked up to see their friend staring down at something in her hand, tears clinging to her eyelashes.
"What is it?" Marlene asked, dropping the radio with a thud and moving over towards Lily. In response, Lily held up the thing she had been staring at. It was a muggle picture of her family, taken two years ago before her mother had gotten sick. It was held in a glass frame with the words Family is Forever engraved at the top.
"Oh, Lily," Mary cooed, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder.
"There's a note," Lily choked out, holding up a piece of creamy stationary covered in thick, scrawly handwriting. Mary took the paper gently and held it so Marlene and Alice could read with her.
Mum was always the gift giver, the note read. I'm sorry if you don't like it or would have preferred something else. Petunia helped me pick it out, she said you were fond of this particular picture. Happy 16th birthday, Lilyflower. We love and miss you very much.
Daddy and Tuney
"There, there," Alice said gently, putting her arm around Lily's shoulders and drawing her close. "Don't cry, Lily, it's your birthday."
"Tell you what," Marlene said, putting the note gently on top of the picture and looking earnestly in Lily's direction. "Tonight we're going to celebrate your birthday properly. Just the four of us. It's been ages since we've had some girl time and we all want you to have a wonderful birthday, Lilybean."
Lily gave Marlene a smile and moved to hug her. "That would be lovely," she said, laughing slightly as she brushed the tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry for making this emotional," she said. "That just caught me by surprise and—"
"Don't worry about it," Alice said gently. Turning to Marlene, she jerked her head towards the two beds at the end of the dormitory that were usually occupied by Sarah and Emmeline. "Are we inviting those two?"
"No," Marlene said quickly, shaking her head for emphasis. "I'll ask James to keep them busy tonight so we can hang out up here."
"Would he?" Mary asked swiftly. "I mean, we all know he has no qualms about entertaining Carroll but would he agree to spend his night with both of them?"
"I think so," Marlene said, a small, evil grin spreading across her face. "I'll just threaten to write his mum and tell her all about the entertaining he's been doing lately. That'll make him cooperate."
"Marley!" Alice cried, smacking her friend lightly. "You're dreadful!"
"Do we want to give Lily a wonderful friend-filled birthday or not?" Marlene cried out defensively.
Lily giggled and appealed to Alice. "It would be nice to spend the night of my birthday with my friends," she said teasingly.
"Alright," Alice conceded, "but I still don't like the part about threatening James."
"Lucky you're not the one who will be doing it then," Marlene said lightly, tossing a bit of wrapping paper at Alice. "Oh, and I'll ask Sirius to get us some firewhiskey too," the brunette added as an afterthought.
"Marlene McKinnon!" Alice cried again in a scandalized voice, her blue eyes staring at her friend.
"What?" Marlene demanded. "It's not a proper party without it! And it won't be much, just a bottle or two to make sure everyone's relaxed. I'm sure they've got at least that much left over from Sirius' birthday that's stashed away somewhere."
"Fine, fine," Alice sighed. Lily got the feeling arguments like this had occurred frequently over the years; Alice had the air of someone who had given up trying to actually reason with their friends but still felt compelled to try.
"Blimey!" Mary cried out, looking at the clock. "Girls, we'd better get dressed or we're going to be late to charms!"
Lily was grinning ear to ear as she skipped down the corridor with her friends. Her unpleasant conversation with Sarah Carroll that morning seemed as though it had happened weeks ago.
Connor met her in the corridor on the way to class and caught her by the waist, giving her a swift kiss on the mouth.
"Happy birthday," he said as he draped an arm over her shoulder and they fell into step.
"Thank you," Lily said. "And thank you for the radio, it's fantastic."
Connor grinned at her and tugged playfully on a lock of her hair. "We need to get you listening to wizard music, Lils," he said. "I'm determined to make you into a Weird Sisters fan by the end of the year."
Lily laughed and gave his hand a squeeze.
"Where were you lot at breakfast?" Connor asked, gesturing with his free hand towards her friends.
"We stayed in the dormitory to open my presents and plan my birthday celebration," she said lightly.
Connor's face fell slightly at the mention of birthday plans but he quickly fixed it into a smile. "And what are you planning for your birthday celebration?" he asked cheekily. "Am I invited to it or is it exclusive?"
Lily shook her head ruefully. "I'm afraid it's exclusive," she said teasingly. "It's just going to be the four of us, a girls night."
If Connor was annoyed, he hid it well. He bent down and gave Lily a peck on the cheek before murmuring, "It's your birthday, you can spend it however you wish."
When they reached the charms classroom Connor released Lily as he went to sit with his friend Miles Pilchak and Lily sat beside Mary.
Flitwick had already begun his lecture when the classroom door burst open and the four marauders strode into the room.
"Boys," Flitwick said reproachfully, looking as stern as he could from his perch on a pile of books. "Why are you late?"
"Peter here got lost, Professor, sorry," Sirius called, patting a sputtering and red faced Peter on the shoulder as they hastily took their seats at the back of the room. "Oh, and happy birthday, Lilybean!" he said loudly.
Flitwick sighed but said nothing else as he resumed his lecture. Lily turned around in her seat to roll her eyes good naturedly at Sirius but was distracted when she noticed Remus. His lucid skin seemed to hang from his body and his eyes were framed by great purple bags.
Remus caught her eye and gave a small smile, though it only served to highlight his resemblance to an invalid. Lily answered with a smile of her own before catching sight of James scowling at her. Puzzled and concerned, she turned back to her notes.
The day passed pleasantly. When Lily sat down next to Mary in potions later that afternoon, she grinned to herself decided it was the best birthday she had had since she had gotten her Hogwarts letter.
"Lily?"
Her grin evaporated at the voice and Lily turned to Severus, who stood before her nervously.
"Yes?" she asked coldly. They had barely spoken since he cornered her after class a few weeks ago; since then she had worked with Mary and done her best to ignore the fact that Severus worked with Urquhart. A small part of her kept hoping he would come up to her one day and apologize, tell her that he was done hanging around Mulciber and his cronies.
"Er," Severus said nervously, "I know we're not on the best of terms right now." Lily snorted. "But," he continued, "I wanted to tell you happy birthday. And give you this." He held out a flower, a perfect lily blossom.
"Sev," Lily said quietly, glancing around the room. Nobody seemed to be paying attention to them. Marlene was deep in conversation with the marauders and Mary was talking with Alice about an article in the latest issue of Witch Weekly.
"I put a charm on it so it won't wilt," he told her, pressing the flower into her hand and staring at her pleadingly.
"This doesn't make everything okay," Lily whispered as her fingers closed around the flower's stem. She held it gingerly with her finger tips, examining the petals which were all a little too perfect to be quite natural.
"I know," Severus said eagerly, more confident now that she had accepted the gift. "But I just thought you should have—" his head whipped around suddenly and Lily looked in the same direction. Mulciber had entered the dungeon, talking over his shoulder to Rosier. Severus gave Lily a fleeting look and with a sinking in her stomach, she understood.
"Happy birthday," he said quickly before turning away and resuming his seat at the table he shared with the other slytherins.
Lily laid the flower on her desk and resolved to keep it. If nothing else, it was a lovely reminder of who Severus could be.
That night Lily found herself in the dormitory with Marlene, Alice, and Mary, feeling giddy and slightly nervous as Marlene took four bottles of firewhiskey out of a bag and placed them on the ground.
"Sirius wanted to throw you a giant Marauder-style birthday party, but I convinced him not to," the brunette said to Lily as she threw the bag in the rubbish bin. "So you're welcome."
"Thank you," Lily said as Marlene rejoined their circle. The idea of a large common room party, which the Marauders were beginning to earn a reputation for, made her feel queasy. Especially one held in her honor.
"Right," Marlene said eagerly, popping the top off one of the firewhiskey bottles. "We have to do a toast in honor of Lily's sixteenth birthday!"
"We haven't got any glasses," Alice pointed out.
"Then everyone take a bottle!" Marlene cried, unfazed. She immediately popped the tops off the three remaining bottles and handed them around, ignoring Alice's dubious expression.
"To Lily!" Marlene shouted happily, raising her bottle up above her head. The others followed suit, though Lily felt a bit silly toasting herself, and they all took a swig from their bottles.
Lily had to force herself not to spit her mouthful out. It burned her tongue, her mouth, the back of her throat, and the entire way down to her stomach where it felt like a small fire was being kindled. She panted slightly as she stared at the amber liquid inside the bottle. She'd had champagne and wine before, but nothing like this vile stuff.
Around her, to her relief, her friends were cringing from their drinks as well.
"Blech," Alice spat. "It never gets better."
"Do you lot drink this stuff often?" Lily asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious about her lack of experience with wizard drinks.
The other three girls chuckled and Marlene leaned forward to pat Lily's knee. "Being friends with James and Sirius means I've drank a fair bit," the dark haired girl said. "But Alice here," she jerked a thumb towards her friend, whose face was still screwed up in distaste, "has only had it once or twice before and now you see why. She's a right baby about it."
"It's disgusting!" Alice cried in protest, pushing the bottle away from her.
"What about you, Mary?" Lily asked quickly, turning towards her fellow muggle-born who seemed to have handled the firewhiskey reasonably well.
Mary shrugged. "I've had a fair few muggle drinks but this is my first time trying firewhiskey," she said. Lily felt a bit relieved. Even if Mary hadn't seemed too bothered by the burning sensation, at least Lily wasn't the only one who had never tried the drink before tonight.
The four girls settled into talking and laughing, the raucous conversation punctuated by swigs of firewhiskey, which Lily found burned less the more she drank. She felt her entire body begin to feel warm and her head spun a little as she set the bottle on the ground, half of the amber liquid now gone.
"What's James doing to distract Sarah?" she blurted out, trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably, judging by the looks her friends gave her.
"He and Sirius are playing a chess tournament against Sarah and Emmeline," Marlene smirked.
Lily nodded, her chest feeling a bit lighter as she took another sip from her bottle.
"D'you reckon Em will go after Sirius now that Sarah and James are together?" Mary asked, hiccupping slightly as she spoke.
Marlene frowned and Alice replied "No, that doesn't seem like something Emmeline would do. And anyways, I doubt Sirius is the type of bloke she'd go after."
"And he didn't seem too keen on spending the evening with her and Sarah," Marlene added, taking a long swig of her drink. "The only way James and I got him to agree was by promising it would only last until midnight."
"You said James was a bit difficult as well," Alice said. "They probably didn't want to commit their Friday nights to keeping Sarah and Emmeline distracted."
"It's a pity Remus isn't here," Marlene said. He wouldn't have made a fuss over it. And he'd probably be more fun to play chess against, you know Sirius doesn't have the attention span to finish a game."
"Where's Remus?" Lily broke in, concern clouding her voice as she thought back to his sickly appearance that morning. "Is he in the hospital wing? Is he okay?"
"He's visiting his mum," Alice said. "She's in St. Mungo's."
"Been ill ever since I can remember," Mary added solemnly, though ruining it with a hiccup.
"What does she have?" Lily asked quietly. She vaguely remembered Remus saying something about his mum being ill. She felt terrible for forgetting and she remembered the pain she had suffered from when it had been her own mother who was terribly ill.
"I don't know," Alice said thoughtfully, tucking a blonde curl behind her ear.
Lily frowned but didn't press it. She resolved silently to ask Remus about his mother the next time she saw him.
The girls continued to talk into the night. As their bottles became lighter, the conversation became rowdier.
"Tell us about Connor," Marlene prompted Lily. "Is he better than James?"
"Er," Lily faltered. Whether from the alcohol or something else, she couldn't think of an appropriate answer.
"He's…good," she answered, her words slurring slightly. Lily's head swam as she tried to work out what to tell her friends. Was Connor better than James? No. The answer came readily to her mind, but Lily shook her head. He's different, she thought. He's different than James and that's what makes him good.
"Come on, Lils," Marlene begged, jutting out her lip and putting her hands together. "Please, please, give us something more. I want to know all about the boy who's good enough to make you giggle like you were this morning walking to charms with him."
Lily sighed but smiled at the memory. She attempted to marshal her thoughts again. "He's just diff—" she began but fell silent as the unmistakable sound of footsteps came pounding up the stairs.
"Shit," Marlene swore before scooping all four nearly empty firewhiskey bottles into her arms and dropping them into her trunk before covering them with a cloak. "I wouldn't put it past Carroll to tell McGonagall we had this if she saw them," she muttered.
They all scrambled into bed, not bothering to change out of their clothes as Sarah and Emmeline burst into the dormitory, chattering excitedly and ignoring their roommates.
Lily lay in her bed and fell asleep quickly, the firewhiskey still burning gently at the back of her throat. It had been a strange day. But, Lily thought as she drifted off, it had been a lovely birthday.
The days following Lily's birthday went by in a blur and February seemed determined to fly by as quickly as possible. Lily felt as though someone had hit fast forward. Her days were spent trying desperately to work her way through the pile of assigned homework and fitting in meetings with Connor and time with her friends.
The month stretched on and Lily spent a wonderful Valentine's Day with Connor, though it was ruined when she walked into the Gryffindor common room and witnessed James and Sarah Carroll "celebrating" the holiday in their own way on one of the sofas.
A week after that episode, for which everyone else offered their utmost sympathy, Lily sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall eating breakfast. The usual cloud of owls descended with the mail and a thin envelope was dropped in front of Lily. She didn't pick it up immediately, as she was busy cutting up a sausage. When she glanced up, she saw Marlene holding the letter with a confused expression on her face.
"Why are you getting mail from Mungo's?" the dark haired girl asked, her eyebrows furrowed together.
Lily felt her face go red and she cast around for an excuse as Alice and Mary turned, having heard Marlene's inquiry.
"Er," Lily stalled. In reality, she had written to Mrs. Lupin the morning after her birthday, addressing the envelope simply to Mrs. Lupin at St. Mungo's Hospital. She hadn't told her friends she had done it, as it seemed too personal to share voluntarily. She now realized she had forgotten to share the fact with Remus as well and as she opened the letter, Lily worried silently that she had just forged a connection with one of her friends' mothers without their knowledge.
"I was just asking for some more information about the coughing draught Slughorn was talking about in potions the other day," Lily lied quickly as she unfolded the letter and angled it so her friends couldn't see the writing.
"You're mad," Marlene laughed, either not sensing Lily's dishonesty or else deciding now wasn't the time to call her on it.
Lily's face screwed up in confusion as she read, then reread the short letter.
"Yes," she said absently, not paying any attention to Marlene as she hastily folded the letter up and shoved it in her pocket. "Yes, I suppose so."
"Good morning, ladies!" the voice of Sirius Black called out from behind them. Lily turned and saw the four Marauders, plus Sarah Carroll, who had attached herself by the hip to James, standing behind them.
"Morning," the four girls chirped back as their housemates took their seats.
"Oh, happy birthday, Pete!" Marlene cried out, smiling at the small boy and setting off a wave of "happy birthday."
"I trust you're all coming to Pete's sweet sixteen bash tonight?" Sirius asked, glancing around the girls. Marlene, Alice, and Mary all nodded in affirmation and Sirius turned to Lily expectantly.
Lily flushed. She had forgotten that the party was that night and told Connor she would spend the evening with him.
"I don't know," she mumbled. "I have plans with Connor."
"Bring him," Sirius said cheerfully, seizing the syrup from across the table and dumping a generous amount on his waffles. "The more the merrier! Right, Prongs?" he asked James, who sat on the opposite side of the table.
"Yeah," James said tonelessly, cutting up his sausage and not looking at his best friend or Lily. "brilliant."
And so it happened that Lily pulled a wary Connor through the portrait hole and into the Gryffindor common room later that night. To her surprise, the large room was already packed with people.
"Lilybean!" An obviously intoxicated Sirius greeted her, clutching a bottle of firewhiskey. "And Lilybean's boyfriend," he added, nodding at Connor, who snaked his arm around Lily's waist.
"Black," Connor greeted.
"Hi, Sirius," Lily said, eyeing the liquor bottle, which was already three quarters of the way gone.
"Glad you two love birds could make it," Sirius said. "Welcome to Mr. Peter Pettigrew's Sweet Sixteen Birthday Bash, planned and executed by yours truly." He gestured to the room as a whole before dropping into a low bow.
Lily giggled and made to step around him. "It looks great, Sirius," she told him, noting his pleased smile. "I'm gonna show Connor around a bit, yeah?"
Sirius moved on to greet the next newcomer, leaving Lily and Connor to wander. Alice and Frank Longbottom were cozied up in a corner, sharing a bottle of elf-made wine and whispering to each other. Marlene was entertaining a large group, doing impressions of McGonagall and Slughorn that had the crowd roaring with laughter.
Lily spotted Remus standing with James and Sarah Carroll and for this reason did not approach him. She thought uneasily back to the letter she had received that morning, which was upstairs stashed in her trunk. She would have to bring it up soon, she knew, but perhaps not tonight.
Remus spotted her and gave a friendly wave, which Lily returned half-heartedly.
Lily and Connor passed over an hour milling around, sipping cautiously from goblets handed to them by a staggering Peter. Lily introduced Connor to the older Gryffindors who he didn't know, seeing as he was a Ravenclaw, and they spent a good deal of time listening to Marlene's increasingly questionable impressions of their professors.
When their goblets were empty the couple meandered towards the back of the common room and stopped in front of the drinks table with the intention of refilling. Lily examined the bottles and the table, finding a familiar one.
She felt Connor lean towards her before she saw him and she turned, peering into his dark eyes which crinkled slightly around the edges as he smiled.
"Hey," he whispered, "thanks for bringing me."
Lily grinned and tilted her head up so she was looking him in the eye. "You're welcome," she replied. Connor bent down and kissed her, his hands moving to her waist to pull her closer. Lily could taste the firewhiskey on his breath as she pushed herself up on her toes, pressing her mouth against his.
Bam
They were knocked apart as something large and solid collided with Connor. Lily regained her balance and glanced up to see a very red-faced, slightly swaying James glowering at them.
"Sorry," the black haired boy said curtly, picking for the bottle Lily had selected and replacing it with the empty one in his hand. "You were blocking the table."
Lily bit back an angry retort and grabbed Connor's hand, dragging him to the couch where Alice and Frank sat. Connor sat down with a huff and sat in silent outrage while Lily forced herself to chat mindlessly with Alice and Frank, banishing all thoughts of James Potter from her brain.
She reached out and found Connor's hand, squeezing it. He squeezed back and moved closer to her before putting his arm around her shoulder.
"I hate that git," he said forcefully, glaring at James, who was talking animatedly to Sarah. Lily nodded, her own indignation resurfacing.
"He's frustrating," she said, trying hard not to let her anger with her housemate get the better of her. The last thing she needed was to make a scene at Peter's birthday party. The cold animosity between her and James wasn't the best, but it was better than whatever the repercussions of a public, alcohol-fueled blowout would be. With a small smile, Lily squeezed Connor's hand once again and turned to engage Alice and Frank in a conversation about the next Hogsmeade visit.
Connor took her cue and talked civilly with her friends. Lily relaxed and allowed herself to lean into him as the conversation turned to whether or not the Shrieking Shack was really haunted.
Her peace didn't last long. Over the din of the party, an escalating shouting match could be heard. Slowly, the external buzz died down as more and more people turned to watch the spectacle.
"Give it to me!" Sarah Carroll screeched at James, who was holding his half-empty firewhiskey bottle above his head. His scarlet-faced girlfriend leaped up and tried to snatch it away. James quickly moved the bottle behind his back, swaying on the spot and glowering at the blonde.
"You're so bloody controlling!" He spat, his hazel eyes stormy as he glared down at Sarah. "You don't ever leave me alone."
"You're completely bloody pissed!" Sarah shot back, lunging for the bottle again. Once again, James moved it out of her reach and towered over his girlfriend. His own face was very red and he looked positively murderous.
"Just let me get bloody pissed then!" He bellowed, his hands shaking. "For Merlin's sake, Lily, leave me alone!"
Nobody spoke for a moment.
Lily let out a horrified gasp. Remus and Sirius, who were standing a few feet away, exchanged looks of panic. Connor's grip tightened almost painfully on Lily's shoulder and Alice and Frank both turned to stare at her, their eyes wide.
James himself wore an expression of mingled shock and horror. He seemed to recover himself slightly as his face went from red to pale. He took a tentative step forward.
"Sarah, I—" he began.
Sarah Carroll, her face a delicate shade of puce, emitted a sound somewhere between a shriek and a snarl. With a furious parting glare, she stalked to the spiral staircase and ascended.
After Sarah's exit, the buzz of conversation slowly returned to the party, though now accompanied by several curious stares in Lily's direction.
"I think I'm gonna go," Connor said softly, withdrawing his arm from Lily's shoulders. "Things seem to be getting a bit out of hand."
Lily's heart sank. "Okay," she said glumly.
They rose from the couch and climbed through the portrait hole before walking down to the end of the corridor where they said a quick goodnight, neither one mentioning what had just occurred.
After Connor had rounded the corner and she could no longer see him, Lily turned to walk back to the common room. To her surprise she found herself looking at James, slumped against the stone wall with his head in his hands. He looked so pathetic and defeated, as though one touch might knock him down. For a moment, Lily forgot her vendetta as her heart broke for the embarrassed, drunk, tired boy. She approached him slowly and put a hand on his shoulder.
"James?" she asked gently. "Are you alright?"
His head shot up and he shook her hand off roughly, fixing her with a stare filled with so much loathing, Lily took a step back.
"You have no right to ask me that," he spat, his hazel eyes sparkling with anger.
"I just—" Lily started.
James cut her off, straightening up so he stood at his full height, though Lily noticed he was still leaning heavily on the wall. "What's the point, Lily?" he asked coldly, glaring at her. "What's the point of acting like you care now? Like you care at all?"
"James—" she stepped forward again, wanting nothing more than to comfort him.
"No!" he yelled, suddenly pushing off the wall and pacing the corridor, swaying as he went. "Whether I'm alright or not it doesn't fucking matter!" He paused and ran an agitated hand through his hair, his face turning red as he spoke, his voice rising with each word. "It won't make you care. It won't make you give me a chance."
"That's not—" Lily tried again.
James shouted over her, resuming his pacing. "Nothing I do is good enough for you, Lily!" He stopped again and slammed his fist into the stone wall, his face red and stormy, even worse than it had been when he shouted at Sarah in the common room.
Lily flinched. She stood rooted to the spot, her wide green eyes trained on the deranged boy in front of her who she no longer had the right to comfort.
"Nothing I do will ever be good enough for you to give me a chance!" James bellowed, rubbing his fist and scowling at her. "So what's the bloody point?"
With a final, withering glare he turned and walked back to the portrait hole.
Lily remained in the corridor, bewildered and exhausted. Her mind turned his words over and over as she tried to make sense of it all. She raised her hands and covered her face with them, letting out a heavy sigh. Once again, her delicately constructed world had been overturned by a boy with tousled black hair and glasses.
Author's Note: I know, I know, this isn't how any of us wants the story to go. Things will get better, I promise.
Reviews make my day much better, please send them.
Cap92A Thank you! I know everyone wants to hate Lily's boyfriend who isn't James but everything will happen for the best, I promise. I also adore Remus so I'm glad you like him too!
xDawn Snowx Thank you! Like I said, I love Remus.
Jilyforeva Thank you so much! I'm sorry there's not more James right now, but I promise (like, pinky promise) that there will be more James/Lily scenes in upcoming chapters.
VileMalfoys Thanks for all your feedback. I'm planning to keep Remus in the story as much as possible, he's one of my favorites.
You'llRegret Thank you so much! I know it's frustrating, but James is a 15 year old boy here and honestly I've never met a 15 year old boy who isn't a frustrating idiot. I hope you keep reading!
MultiFandom Queen 101 Thank you that means so much! I hope you liked this chapter!
