The bright, clear chill of February faded away to the grey and dreary sludge of March. Lily mourned the fact that winter was coming to a close. She loved the blanket of snow covering the grounds and the icicles hanging off the castle towers. She had always loved winter because it brought Christmas and her birthday, but winter at Hogwarts held a certain magic which she was reluctant to let go.

The snow and ice still covered the school on a Saturday morning in early March. Lily walked down the spiral staircase as though in a dream. She was late to breakfast and would have to hurry if she wanted to eat before the Hogsmeade visit, but at the moment she didn't care. Wrapped up in her own wonderland, Lily meandered through the common room towards the portrait hole.

"Oof!" she grunted as she collided with another person, toppling backwards towards a table. "Sorry!" she cried as she stood up. "I wasn't paying attention. I'm so sorry, it's just the snow and the icicles look so pretty and I was…"

Her voice trailed off as she looked up and saw James, regaining his balance and straightening his robes, his face turned towards the floor. He glanced up and his hazel eyes locked on her green ones. There was no warmth in them and he looked at her blankly, indifferently.

"it's fine, Evans," he said curtly before stepping back and gesturing towards the portrait hole. Lily took the hint and scurried through, squeaking another quick "sorry," as she went. James clambered behind her and they walked, decidedly separate, to the Great Hall, with Lily ten meters ahead of James at all times.

It's fine, Evans. She replayed his words in her head. It was the first time he had spoken directly to her since the night of Peter's party. Since then, James had adopted a cold formality towards her, ignoring her whenever possible and treating her with stiff cordiality whenever circumstances warranted them to be in close quarters. Seeing as they now shared a mutual group of friends, Lily found herself near James often and he made no effort to hide his coldness towards her. Their friends exchanged looks and sometimes would try to goad James into partnering with Lily for a game of exploding snap, or else force him to sit beside her for a meal, but these attempts were met with harsh glares and weighty silences and therefore were soon abandoned.

He hates me, Lily thought sadly as she approached the Great Hall. The thought tugged at her heart. She had given him every reason to hate her, she knew. He was well within his right to treat her this way. But still, every time he deliberately sat as far as possible from her, every time he refused to speak directly to her, her thoughts rushed back to the laughing boy who had sat beside her in the grass that summer and held her in his arms and declared she was wonderful. Lily sighed and felt her mouth turn into a frown. She missed the boy from last summer more than she would ever let on.

Now he didn't even call her Lily. Whenever he spoke of her he called her by her surname, just as he had this morning. Lily, in turn, had started calling him Potter, though it felt wrong to do so now when she had always known him simply as James.

To her friends and the rest of the school, Lily put on a show of indifference. She didn't want the pity or the rumors that would arise if she publicized how badly his treatment wounded her. And anyhow, she refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing that she felt the sting of his disdain.

Already feeling very tired and gloomy, Lily entered the Great Hall and made her way to the Gryffindor table, where Sirius, Remus, Peter, Marlene and Mary sat. Remus caught her eye and waved as Lily walked over. She gave a small smile before averting her eyes. She had been avoiding Remus for the past few weeks. She needed to talk to him about the letter she had received from St. Mungo's, but no time ever felt right. So she just let the matter weigh on her mind.

"Morning," Lily said dully as she slid into the seat beside Marlene and grabbed a plate of eggs.

"Good morning, Lilybean," Marlene said brightly, either not noticing or ignoring her friend's desolate mood. "It's going to be a lovely day for Hogsmeade, and Sirius was just telling me he might be able to convince Madam Rosmerta to give us firewhiskey instead of butterbeer!"

"Mm," Lily mumbled unenthusiastically hrough her mouthful of food. James had arrived at the table. Without so much as a glance at Lily he sat down next to Peter, on the opposite side of the table and as far away from the redhead as he could have gotten.

"Alice is going with Frank again but she said she'd meet up with us," Marlene plowed on, grinning conspiratorially. "And then we can all jump and ask her what's going on with them. I'm dying to know and she never tells us anything."

"I think she likes to keep some of it private," Mary said.

"Why's she want to do that?" Marlene demanded, piling more potatoes on her plate. "That's the whole point of friends, to tell them all the intimate details of your life! You lot know everything that's going on with me!"

"Yeah, which is nothing," Lily pointed out.

"But if something did happen I would tell you guys all about it!" Marlene pressed, leaning forward in her seat.

"Maybe Alice isn't ready for everyone to be in on all the details of her relationship," Remus said gently, his eyes crinkling in amusement. "It's still fairly new."

"Ugh," Marlene groaned, frowning at her plate. "Everything is so bloody boring right now. Since Sarah Carroll doesn't have a boyfriend anymore," she sent a sharp look in James' direction, but he ignored her, "and Emmeline has never so much as talked about one, and Lily and Alice won't say anything there's nothing to talk about!"

"Why don't you get a boy and then we can all talk about that?" Mary suggested, waggling her eyebrows at Marlene.

"Yeah, that'll be the day," Marlene snorted.

Lily sighed and pushed her eggs around on her plate. The conversation had taken her appetite. The reminder of Sarah Carroll and the subsequent thoughts of why the blonde no longer had a boyfriend made Lily feel ill.

After James had shouted at her and left her in the corridor, Lily had slunk quietly back to her dormitory. At first glance it had appeared empty and the redhead breathed a sigh of relief before falling into bed. Her moment of peace was ruined, however, by an angry banshee of a girl standing over Lily and screeching at the top of her voice.

"YOU!" Sarah Carroll had screamed, her purple face screwed up in rage. "YOU BLOODY SLAG! YOU TWAT! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!"

Exhausted and out of patience, Lily's last bit of composure had snapped. Leaping up, she glared at Sarah Carroll and moved to grab her wand. "This isn't my fault," Lily hissed, her green eyes narrowed into slits. "I never set out to ruin—"

"YOU KNEW BLOODY WELL HE STILL WANTED YOU!" Sarah snarled, her mouth twisting. "YOU KNEW AND YOU—"

"YOU BLOODY KNEW HE DIDN'T LIKE YOU!" Lily screamed back, tears welling up in her eyes as she felt something in her burst. It was all so awful, such a mess. And this girl, this girl who had been instrumental in Lily's misery had the audacity to shout at her and blame her. Rage coursed through Lily and fueled her as she continued to glare at Sarah and yell.

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN LIKE HIM! YOU ONLY WANTED HIM BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE DOES. AND GUESS WHAT, IN THE END HE DIDN'T EVEN WANT YOU! SO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME THIS IS ALL MY FAULT, SARAH CAROLL!"

"AT LEAST I APPRECIATED HIM FOR SOMETHING!" Sarah cried back. "AT LEAST I GAVE HIM THE TIME OF DAY!"

Lily stopped. Her eyes widened. The rage which had consumed her left and she sagged under the weight of the truth in Sarah's words. Lily thought back to James' words in the corridor and her heart sank.

"This wasn't my fault," Lily said quietly, backing towards her bed. "I never meant for this to happen. I didn't lead him on. All I wanted to do was forget and move on. You can't blame me for that."

She dove into bed then, drawing her curtains and lying awake for several hours as the image of James, with his angry, stormy eyes, shouting at her, replayed over and over in her mind.

"Lils?" Remus' voice broke through and Lily looked up, realizing she hadn't been listening to a word anyone said.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly, blushing and flashing an apologetic look. "I spaced out for a moment."

"It's okay," Remus said, looking at her curiously. "I just asked if you're done. We're going to get ready to leave."

Lily glanced around and saw everyone else was standing and waiting for them at the door. She hastily shoved her plate back and jumped up from her seat, tucking a wild strand of hair behind her ear.

"I'm ready," she said quickly as Remus stood up and moved to join her. They shuffled out of the hall, Lily avoiding Remus' eyes and her face still burning from the memory of the dreadful night a few weeks ago.

Lily got ready quickly with Marlene and Mary. Half an hour later the three girls were walking towards the carriages with the four marauders and Connor Goldstein, who had an arm wrapped firmly around Lily's waist and was talking animatedly to her and Mary about muggle cars.

Connor helped the three girls into a carriage and then climbed in himself, sitting next to Lily and putting an arm around her shoulder. The four marauders took the next carriage. Lily turned and glanced over her shoulder briefly to see James and Sirius shaking with laughter over something. Sirius caught her eye and gave her a wink. Lily turned back around and leaned against Connor, the uncertainty which had clouded their relationship for the last few weeks creeping back.

The day after Peter's birthday party had been a nightmare for Lily. By lunch, the entire school had heard what had happened and Lily found herself the subject of numerous curious stares and more than one mean-spirited rumor. Sarah Carroll ignored her but whenever she was in the same vicinity as Lily would begin talking loudly about how humiliated and upset she was over her breakup with James. The worst part, though, was the conversation Lily and Connor had that evening, sitting in a secluded corner of the library.

Lily was working on her charms essay, her quill scratching rhythmically on the parchment. She became aware of the fact that Connor wasn't working anymore and looked up to see her boyfriend watching her intently, his jaw twitching in agitation.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked quietly, already knowing what he was going to say.

"It—it's about last night," Connor replied, his warm brown eyes crinkling as he continued to stare at her appraisingly.

Lily fidgeted and laid her quill down, turning her full attention to Connor and steeling herself for whatever he wanted to say.

"Lily, you know I really like you," Connor began slowly. Lily froze. Her chest tightened and she began twisting her fingers nervously. He was going to break up with her.

"Connor, I know last night was a mess," she said quickly. Her fingers drummed on the table. Her stomach felt heavy and Lily didn't know what exactly she wanted to say but she took a deep breath and kept talking anyways. No matter what, no matter how muddled up everything was, she knew without a doubt that she liked Connor. She didn't want to stop seeing him.

"It was awful for everyone," she continued, her green eyes pleading. Connor looked taken aback but allowed her to speak. "It—I don't know. It was dreadful," Lily said. "It was one of the worst nights ever."

"I know," Connor said gently, putting one of his hands over Lily's. "It was bad. I think we've established that."

"Right," Lily said, laughing nervously. "But it—it doesn't mean anything. I mean…you shouldn't think that—I know it seems like it was a big deal but it's not."

"Lily," Connor sighed, drawing his hand back. He brushed his hair from his forehead and fixed his dark eyes on her. "It's a bit of a big deal. And I just think we need to talk about what happened."

Lily stared at the table for a moment and reached out for Connor's hand. Their fingers interlaced, Lily bit her lip and nodded slowly. "I suppose we do," she said quietly.

Connor squeezed her hand and gave her a small smile before speaking. "Look, Lily, I know you and Potter have some sort of history and that's fine. Really, it doesn't matter to me. But, er, you see why after last night I'm a little…unsure?" He glanced up at her.

Lily nodded again, her face growing hot from embarrassment. She averted her eyes and stared at a spot on Connor's shoulder.

"I have to ask this," Connor continued, his eyes searching her face, "and I promise this is the only time I'll ask. I just—I have to know for sure. You understand that."

"Yeah," Lily mumbled. "I do."

"Right," Connor said, giving her hand another squeeze. "It's not that I don't trust you, Lily. I just need to be completely sure right now. You don't still have feelings for Potter, do you?"

Lily swallowed heavily, her mind racing through a hundred disjointed images as Connor sat expectantly across from her. James sitting with her in the grass, laughing at something she'd said. James hexing Severus. James asking her to be friends. James and Sarah Carroll wrapped around each other and the sinking she felt in her stomach every time she saw them. James ignoring her. James glaring at her from across the table. James shouting at her and telling her he would never be enough. James calling her Evans and walking away without a glance.

"No," she said, quiet but firm. "No, I don't. Anything I felt for him is gone."

"That's all I needed to hear," Connor said, finally giving her a full smile and standing up to move closer to her. Lily watched, her chest still tight for some reason, as her boyfriend bent down and dropped a quick kiss on her mouth.

Lily had thought at the time that the conversation had gone well, and she had nothing to worry about with her relationship. But ever since the party Connor had been different. It was a subtle difference, but Lily found it hard to ignore. He seemed to always need to be around her now. He asked questions any time she talked to Remus or Sirius, asking what they talked about and whether they said anything odd. He was much more physical now, too, always wrapping an arm protectively around Lily's waist or shoulder when they walked together, every so often pulling her closer.

Connor was more aggressive with his affection around the marauders now, constantly pulling Lily in to kiss her on the forehead or on the mouth, resting his hand on her knee or on her back. None of the boys seemed to notice, though Marlene would often snigger as she watched the Ravenclaw attempt to keep Lily distracted.

The carriage rolled into the village and Connor climbed down first before helping the three girls out. Lily disembarked last and Connor held her hand tightly as the Marauders joined them and the group walked briskly to the Three Broomsticks.

The pub was bustling, packed with Hogwarts students seeking refuge from the persistent winter chill and an assortment of travelers who all looked rather irritated by the presence of the teenagers. Remus found a large table in a corner of the bar and they all took their seats.

"I'll go get us drinks," James said, standing up and moving towards the bar, where Madame Rosmerta was busy supplying an elderly man with mead. "Everyone want butterbeer?" James asked over his shoulder.

They all shouted affirmation and James disappeared in the crowd of patrons.

"Remus, why don't you help him carry everything back," Marlene said, nudging the sandy haired boy. "He won't be able to bring all eight butterbeers back alone."

"Er, alright," Remus said, looking confused as he rose from his seat.

Marlene watched the boy follow his friend and then turned to the remainder of the group.

"Right," she said authoritatively, addressing Lily and Mary, "after this we need an excuse to go alone and find birthday presents for Remus and James."

"Oh, I forgot those are coming up," Mary said. "What are we getting them?"

"I don't know," Marlene admitted. "We'll figure it out at the store."

"Say you're going to the Shrieking Shack," Peter suggested. "They won't want to go there." He grinned at Sirius.

"Okay," Marlene said, nodding towards the two boys. "Don't you dare tell them what we're doing!"

"Marley!" Sirius gasped dramatically, putting a hand to his chest. "Do you really believe that Pete and I would betray your trust?"

"Yes," all three girls answered in unison.

Sirius smirked but said nothing as James and Remus appeared carrying drinks.

They sat in the pub sipping butterbeer and talking. After an hour they were joined by Alice and Frank, both slightly windswept and red-faced from walking outdoors.

"Have you been here long?" Alice asked as she approached the group.

"A bit, yeah," Marlene answered good-naturedly. "Your timing is perfect, actually, the girls and I were just about to go to the Shrieking Shack."

Alice gave Marlene a puzzled look. "The Shrieking Shack?" the blonde asked quizzically. "Why are we going there?"

"We just thought it would be fun!" Marlene cried, jumping to her feet and ushering Lily and Mary to do the same.

Remus and James exchanged knowing glances.

"Marley, we know you're going to buy our birthday presents," James said with a grin. "You don't have to go through all the trouble of trying to fool us."

"Don't be silly, James," Marlene snapped. "I just fancied some time with my friends, that's all. You are perfectly welcome to join us if you want."

"No, no," James said, holding his hands up in surrender. His mouth twitched up in a smile. "I don't want to ruin your fun."

"Right, well then, girls, should we go?" Marlene asked, turning to Lily, Mary, and Alice, who rolled her eyes.

"Are you coming with us?" Lily asked Connor. "You don't have to."

"I told Miles I would meet up with him at Zonko's," her boyfriend replied, standing up. "I'll go over there. And I can walk you lot over towards the shops."

Lily nodded and they walked out of the pub, leaving the four Marauders behind.

She said goodbye to Connor in front of Zonko's and promised to meet up with him later in the castle. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug before ducking into the joke shop.

"Right," Marlene said as soon as Connor disappeared through the door. "We have to find gifts for Remus and James."

"James will be easy," Mary said. "Anything from the quidditch supplies shop will do."

"And what about for Remus?" Marlene asked, chewing on her lip. "I never am quite sure with him."

"Let's just go in somewhere and look," Lily suggested. "We're bound to find something."

They spent the better part of an hour poking around the shops before deciding to give Remus a new eagle feather quill and a box of Honeyduke's chocolate.

"He does love chocolate," Alice commented as they left the store. Choosing James' gift was much simpler. Marlene pounced on a miniature quidditch pitch that came with small players and balls that would simulate techniques.

"This is perfect," the brunette declared, examining the set. "The boy's bloody obsessed with quidditch. He'll love it."

Lily looked at the gift and felt a pang of guilt. After all the time she and James had spent together over the summer and how many secrets they shared, for his birthday all he would receive from her would be her name written on a gift she had no part in choosing.

She shook her head quickly and reprimanded herself for having such thoughts. It was done. It was over, had been over for a long time.

"What do you think?" Marlene asked her, holding the set up so it was eye level for Lily. "Do you think he would like it?"

"I think it's great," Lily said, forcing a smile onto her face.

Marlene grinned and rushed to the counter to pay.

They split the cost of the presents and then traipsed back to the castle, Marlene interrogating Alice about her day with Frank. When they reached the dormitory, Marlene flung her cloak off and addressed her friends.

"I suppose I should take these down to the kitchens and ask the house-elves to wrap them and keep them until the boys' actual birthdays," she said. "Do you want to come with me, Lily, since you've never seen a house-elf?"

"Er, alright," Lily said, confused by the abruptness of the invitation but excited to see a house-elf nonetheless. "Yeah, just let me brush out my hair first. It's a mess from walking around outside."

Ten minutes later the two girls walked side by side down the corridor, Marlene clutching the shopping bags. Lily followed Marlene, being ignorant as to the location of the kitchens.

"It's not all that hard to get into," the brunette said lightly when Lily asked. "There's a big painting of fruit down here and you just tickle the pear and you're in."

They walked quietly, Marlene humming under her breath and Lily getting lost inside her head.

"When are you going to make up with James?" Marlene asked suddenly, disrupting the companionable silence. Lily slowed for a moment, her green eyes wide.

"Er—" she stuttered, unsure of how to answer such a question. "I—I don't think we're going to be making up anytime soon, Marley. We're—well, he's not happy with me, which is understandable, but either way—"

"Lily, really," Marlene cut in, her usual affability gone and replaced by a bluntness Lily had rarely heard her use. "You're just as much responsible for whatever is going on as he is. And I've known James for a long time, I love him to death, and I've never seen him act this way."

"Well maybe that should be a clue that we probably won't be best friends anytime soon," Lily replied, unable to keep the frostiness out of her voice. She was annoyed; why in Merlin's name had Marlene asked her such a ridiculous question when the answer was obvious?

"You and James are both being so bloody thick," Marlene said evenly, her own voice hardening. "And no one else will say it but I'm going to because it's true. You're both being stupid and if you would just talk to each other I'm sure you could figure it out."

"No, Marls," Lily said. "James has made it very clear that he's done. And honestly, it's probably best for the both of us if we just forget about it and do our best to avoid each other."

"Are you going to spend the next two years avoiding him?" Marlene asked quickly. "Things can't go on like this, Lily, with the two of you barely speaking when we're all together. And you can't make people choose between you—"

"I don't want anyone to!" Lily cried, stung by Marlene's words. "I don't want that at all! I just meant I think it's better if James and I stay out of each other's way."

"Lily, that's the last thing you need to do," Marlene said in exasperation, stopping in the middle of the corridor and glaring fiercely at her friend. "And you know what I think? I think you both still have feelings for each other and are too scared to admit it."

"What—" Lily sputtered, her face turning red. "That—that's ridiculous, Marley! I have Connor—how could you—"

"Are you telling me that what you have with Connor is really as good as what you had with James?" Marlene challenged.

"I thought you liked Connor," Lily whined, dropping her gaze to the floor.

"I do like Connor," Marlene said loftily. "But I think you're just with him because it's convenient and because he's not James."

"Marlene!" Lily cried, looking aghast at her friend, her eyes shining with hurt. "That's a terrible thing to say."

"It's true!" the brunette insisted, stepping closer to Lily. "And I won't let you do it, Lily! I won't let you hurt James like this. I won't let you hurt yourself like this! Just give him another chance."

"I can't," Lily whispered, backing away slowly. "I can't, Marls. I—I'm with Connor. I like Connor, he—he's safer. Everything's less complicated."

"But don't you want to know—"

"No," Lily said firmly, trying to keep the quiver out of her voice as her lip trembled. "No, I don't. I—I'm sorry, Marls, but it's done."

No longer caring about the house elves or finding the kitchens, Lily turned around and slowly walked back to the common room, angry and sad all at the same time.

Marlene's right, her mind chided. You know she is.

"Shut up," Lily growled to herself as she continued walking.

"You okay, Lils?"

She turned and found Remus standing behind her, peering at her with concern.

"I—" she started to mumble and then stopped and remembered the letter she had to talk to him about. There was no better time than now, Lily reasoned.

"Actually, Remus, I need to talk to you about something," she said. Remus' eyebrows shot up, but he didn't question her.

"Okay," he said. "Should we go to the common room then?"

"No," Lily said quickly. "It should be somewhere more private."

"Er, alright," he said slowly, glancing around quickly before ushering her into an empty classroom and closing the door.

"What's up?" he asked, leaning against a desk.

"Er," Lily fidgeted, unsure of how to begin. "I wrote a letter to your mum," she finally blurted out.

Remus' eyebrows knit together and he looked at her in bewilderment. "You…wrote a letter…to my mum?" he asked slowly, staring at her.

"Erm, well yes," Lily chewed on her lip before launching into her speech. "Alice said something about her being in St. Mungo's because she's ill and I just, I remembered how terrible it was when my mum was ill and so I thought it would be nice to write her and I forgot to tell you and I just wanted to help, I swear! But then I got a letter back from Mungo's and they said that there's no Mrs. Lupin at St. Mungo's and there never has been a Mrs. Lupin there who was ill."

Remus' grey eyes were wide as galleons. He continued to stare at Lily as he let out a heavy sigh and slumped into a nearby chair. Lily watched in horror as the boy put his head in his hands and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Remus," she whispered, moving to his side and putting an arm around him. "I—I wasn't trying to pry or anything, honestly I just wanted to help since I know how awful it is to have a parent who's ill. But—where is your mum if she's not in St. Mungo's? Why did you tell people she's there?"

"My mum's not ill," Remus said softly, still not picking his head up. "She's at home with my dad. In excellent health."

"So she never—"

"No," Remus said, sitting up straight and staring at the floor. "She was never in St. Mungo's."

"Remus," Lily said quietly, squeezing his shoulder. "Why did you say she was?"

"Because—" his voice trailed off and he turned his grey eyes to Lily, searching her face. "If I tell you, you can't tell anyone," he said. "You—you'll probably hate me. I don't blame you. You can stop talking to me, you can stop being friends with me. That's alright, I'll understand. Just…just don't tell anyone else."

"But what—" Lily began.

"Lily, please, just promise me you won't tell anyone!"

"Okay," she assented, sliding uneasily into the chair next to him. "But, Remus, I don't know what could possibly be so terrible—"

"I'm a monster," he said hollowly, turning to look her in the eye. "I'm not considered human by most wizards. I'm just a dangerous, dirty monster."

"Remus—"

"I'm a werewolf, Lily."

There was a pregnant pause. Lily sat back and stared at her friend, her mouth falling open. Remus immediately looked away and put his head back in his hands, rocking away from her.

"I won't tell anyone," she whispered, reaching out to place a hand between Remus' shoulder blades.

"Do you hate me?" he asked in a choked voice. "Do you want to never associate with me again?"

"Of course not," Lily assured him, rubbing his back slowly. "What kind of a friend would I be if I did that? And after all you've done, after how much you've helped me and how kind you've been?"

"Lily," he said, lifting his head to look at her, his grey eyes rimmed with self-loathing. "Don't you understand? I'm not even a human! I'm—I'm a—"

"Remus, stop," Lily said quickly, pulling him into a hug. "Stop that. You're not a monster. You're a human, and one of the best ones I know."

"Most people would be running out the door screaming right now," he said thickly into her shoulder.

"Most people also think I'm an inferior witch because my parents were muggles," Lily said evenly.

"You know that's not true."

"It is. I've heard people talk about me and seen how surprised they are, no matter how well they cover it up, when they hear I'm muggle-born. But it doesn't matter what they think because I have lovely friends like you and Marlene and Alice and Mary, and I suppose Sirius and Peter. And none of you care. So why should it be any different with you?"

"Lily, once a month I transform into a furry killer," Remus said.

"I don't care," Lily replied. "I don't care at all. You're one of the kindest people I know and were the first who was my friend when I came here. I'm not going anywhere."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Lily still running her hand across Remus' back.

"So that's why you say your mother's sick?" she asked. "As a cover to leave school?"

"Yes," Remus said, moving out of her embrace and sitting up to look at her. "I needed a good reason for me to be away once a month. That seemed to be the most plausible."

Lily nodded, her brows furrowing. "Where do you go to transform?" she asked. "I can't imagine Dumbledore lets you run around the Forbidden Forest."

Remus gave a small, wary smile. "I go to the Shrieking Shack," he told her. "There's a tunnel concealed by the Whomping Willow. I go there every full moon."

Lily laughed. "And that's why people think it's haunted?" she asked, grinning. "It's you?"

"You guessed it," Remus said, the corners of his mouth turning up. "You had no idea you were friends with the ghost that terrorized Hogsmeade, did you?"

"I didn't," Lily answered, leaning back in her chair. Remus glanced at her.

"Thank you for understanding," he said.

"Thank you for telling me," Lily replied, moving to stand up. "And I suppose we should get back to the common room before people begin to wonder where we are and make up ridiculous rumors?"

Remus grinned and stood up with her. "I suppose we should," he said, offering his arm with a mock bow. "Shall I walk you back?" he asked jokingly.

Lily giggled and threaded her arm through his. "You shall," she said.

From that day forward Lily found herself checking her lunar charts frequently, counting down the days to the full moon. March slipped by, with the marauders throwing parties for both Remus and James' birthdays. The snow melted and Lily watched her winter wonderland fade away as April beckoned.

As the grounds thawed and temperatures rose, the stress level of the fifth year students skyrocketed as O.W.L. exams loomed over their heads. Lily found herself with Connor in the library most evenings, drawing up study schedules and copying notes.

"This is mad!" she cried in frustration one evening, throwing her quill down and throwing her head on the open book in front of her. "Exams are in two months and we're all studying as if they're tomorrow," Lily moaned.

Connor gave her a sympathetic smile and squeezed her shoulder. "Cheer up, Lilyflower," he said lightly. "We just have to get through this last stretch and survive exams and then we never have to take them again."

"Until N.E.W.T.s," Lily said dully, picking her head up. "I almost wish I was a muggle right now."

"No, you don't," Connor chided. "Because if you were a muggle you wouldn't be here and if you weren't here you wouldn't know me."

Lily laughed and turned to smile at her boyfriend, who was grinning boyishly at her, his dark eyes shining.

"I guess that's true," she said airily, flipping a page in the book. "But you know some of those muggle boys—"

"What's this about muggle boys?" the voice of Sirius Black called from behind her. Lily whipped around and groaned when she saw him standing behind her.

"Go away, Sirius," she said. "I'm trying to study."

"Hello, Goldstein," Sirius said, ignoring Lily and nodding towards Connor.

"Hi there, Black," Connor said unenthusiastically.

"Marlene needs you for something," Sirius said, sliding into an empty chair and turning to Lily with his lower lip jutted out in a pout. "Please come back to the common room with me so that girl won't hex me."

"Sirius—" Lily warned.

"Honest!" he cried, throwing his hands up. "She sent me here for you!"

"It can't be that urgent," Lily said, turning back to her book and picking her quill up.

"She sounded like she meant it," Sirius said. "She was going bloody mental."

Lily sighed and set her quill down. "Do you mind if—" she said, turning to Connor.

Her boyfriend looked put out, but not angry as he nodded his head in resignation. "Yes, yes, it's fine," he said, gesturing for her to stand up.

"Thank you, I'm so sorry," Lily said quickly, bending to kiss him as she threw her things into her bag.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Connor said lightly.

"Of course," Lily replied before she turned and followed Sirius out of the library.

"What does Marlene need?" she asked him curiously.

"Oh, nothing," Sirius said simply, shrugging his shoulders. "I need to talk to you."

"Sirius!" Lily yelled, smacking him in the shoulder.

"I'm sorry!" he insisted, leaning away in case she tried to hit him again. "I needed a reason for you to leave and I didn't think Mr. Boyfriend would appreciate me asking you to come back to the common room so we can have a chat."

Lily sighed but didn't respond. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"It's important, Lilybean," Sirius said.

"Fine, what is it?" Lily huffed, unwilling to give him a complete victory.

"I know you know about Remus," Sirius said, watching and gauging Lily's reaction. She spun around and stared at him, eyes wide.

"How do you know I know?" she demanded.

Sirius shrugged. "It's not hard to figure out," he said. "I saw you had your star charts out and were writing down dates of the next full moons. And you've been talking with him more."

Lily gaped at him. "You figured it out from that?" she asked incredulously.

Sirius merely shrugged again. "Like I said, it was pretty easy to figure out. You had that look of someone who knew something big."

"I had a look?" Lily asked skeptically.

"Yes. Now, I know he probably already asked you not to tell, but I just need to double check. You're the first person other than the Marauders and the teachers who knows. So we weren't exactly sure what to do, but we need your word that you won't tell anyone Remus' secret."

Lily continued to stare at Sirius. Her face screwed up angrily for a moment and she started to hiss, "I would never tell anyone! How could you even think—"

"Evans, slow down," Sirius said, laughing and laying a hand on her shoulder. "None of us really think you'd say anything, but we just want to be sure. You can't tell anyone. Not Marlene. Not Alice. Not Mary. No one."

"I know," Lily said indignantly, still slightly offended. "I was never going to tell anyone."

"Good," Sirius said, looking relieved. "That's all we wanted."

April wore on and Lily continued to watch her lunar charts, waiting anxiously for April 24th, the day of the full moon. Remus appeared in class that day looking sickly, his skin almost transparent and his eyes rimmed with purple bags.

That night, after her friend had gone down to the hospital wing, Lily sat up in the common room, wanting to do something to make Remus' life a little easier.

She got an idea suddenly and ran out the portrait hole, returning twenty minutes later with a tray full of food from the kitchens.

She scurried up the stairs to the boys dormitory, taking care not to bump the tray on anything. She reached the fifth year dormitory and knocked.

The door opened and James peered at her, surprise written across his face.

"Er, what are you doing here?" He asked, staring down at the scarlet-faced redhead holding an overloaded tray of food. Lily became aware of the fact James was not wearing a shirt, and felt her face flush redder.

"Erm," she stammered, "I—I just thought—you know tonight's the night for Remus—and I just—I wanted to do something and thought—food."

James' stare moved from Lily's steaming face to the tray of food she held. Slowly, he reached forward and took the tray from her.

"Right," he said. "He'll appreciate this."

"Yes, well, that was the idea," Lily said quickly, turning on her heel to go. "I—tell him I hope everything went okay and that he's fine!"

"Yeah, I will," James said to her retreating back. "And, Evans?" he called out.

Lily turned around and saw that his face had gone red as well. She fought the absurd urge to laugh at the picture of James Potter, standing shirtless in the doorway of his dormitory, holding a tray of food, with his cheeks flushed.

"Thank you for being so accepting," James said quietly, his gaze moving to the floor. "It means a lot to Remus."

"It—it was no trouble," Lily murmured. "I just treated him the same way he treated me." And she hurried away, smiling to herself and feeling lighter than she had since Peter's party.

Author's Note: Thank you everyone for the reviews, I love reading them! I'm just going to respond to reviews on the site instead of in updates; it's just quicker and more convenient for everyone.

But thanks to Pottergirl3333, StrawberryLemonTea, The-Black-Rose-of-Gallifrey, Alicia Mirza, deant33, jilyforeva, and Cap92A for the reviews you guys rock!

A huge shoutout to VileMalfoys for being my beta!