Summer slid by uneventfully for Lily. After spending all year away at school where her friends were always nearby, and before that passing summers happily with Severus, or in last year's case with James, solitude hit Lily hard. She couldn't remember a time she had felt so lonely at home. Her father maintained his routine of rising very early to go to work and retreating to his room almost as soon as he got home. He had barely batted an eye at Lily's homecoming.
Petunia stayed busy, though Lily suspected her sister's hectic schedule was arranged on purpose so that the two girls rarely saw each other. Day in and day out Petunia rushed to and fro, constantly worried about the minute details of her wedding, which crept closer.
Lily watched her sister run about every day and saw her father plod along as he had since her mother's death. She tried unsuccessfully to forget about James, not to think about how dull this summer was in comparison to the last.
Connor wrote faithfully three times a week, detailing life at home with four sisters. Lily tried to respond with enthusiasm, but between her own boredom and her deteriorating relationship with her family, her letters usually ended up being little more than accounts of whichever book she happened to be reading. He asked multiple times if he might come visit her and meet her father and sister, but Lily always evaded this question. Part of her didn't want to jeopardize her already precarious relationship with Petunia; another, more honest part didn't like the thought of allowing Connor into all her favorite places that right now belonged to her and Severus…and James. Thinking of Connor sitting in the grass with her where she had spent so much time last year, or at the playground where she had discovered she was a witch, it seemed unnatural. He had no place there.
So she made her excuses and soon he stopped asking.
Her friends wrote regularly and, much to Lily's surprise, Sirius became her most frequent correspondent. He wrote nearly every day, entertaining her with stories of the pranks he and James had pulled over the years. Lily found she looked forward to his letters more than anyone else's. Yet she could never quite shake the feeling that there was something false about the letters. Thinking back to what Sirius had told her about his family, she wanted to ask him if everything was alright at home, whether or not he had spoken to his brother. But she never did. It was Sirius' life, she reasoned. He had every right to keep some things a secret.
One particular morning in early August, a week before Petunia's wedding, Lily was sprawled out over the sofa, reading Sense and Sensibility for the umpteenth time. She was in a sour mood. Connor was in Spain with his family and wouldn't be returning for another two weeks. Lily, with the help of Petunia's pointed questioning the day before, had realized she would be all alone at her sister's wedding. The thought made her nauseous.
A light tapping came from the window and Lily shot up from the sofa, eager for a distraction.
Marlene's tawny owl sat on the windowsill and flew happily into the living room when Lily opened the window.
Lily hurriedly fed the bird a treat and untied the letter from its leg. To her chagrin, she saw that Marlene hadn't written her usual long epistle, but only a short blurb, barely half a page. Lily unrolled the parchment, slightly annoyed with her friend.
Her eyes scanned the page and her irritation was replaced by shock.
I'm at James' house, Marlene had written. Sirius ran away from home and is staying here now. He's in bad shape, but James is taking care of him. I don't know what exactly happened, Sirius says he doesn't want to talk about it but James said he was in a right state when he showed up at the door last night, with just a small bag of clothes and a bit of money, muttering about how his family is full of nutters and he refuses to stay there. Which is why I'm writing right now, I'm sorry this is so short, I promise to write a nice long, juicy letter soon, but this was important. Would you want to come to the Potters tomorrow to see Sirius? He said you know a bit about his family and it would be good for him to see someone other than me or James.
Send Gideon back with a response.
Lots of Love,
Marlene
Lily sank down into the sofa, Marlene's letter clutched in her fist. Her heart was heavy for her friend, she remembered the conversation she and Sirius had shared not too long ago about their different family problems. A part of her had really hoped, based on his letters that Sirius had managed to work things out.
Lily exhaled heavily and flopped backwards so she was staring at the ceiling. She had to go. She had to be there for Sirius; she owed him that much. But why, for the love of all that was magical, did he have to be at James' house of all places?
Lily chastised herself silently for being so childish. It shouldn't matter where Sirius was or who was with him. What mattered was that her friend needed her. She had to go.
With a sigh, Lily sat up and snatched a pen off a nearby table. Using the back of Marlene's letter, she scribbled out a quick reply and sent the disgruntled bird out the window. Decidedly unsettled, Lily picked up her book and stared at the page she had left off on, not taking in a word.
At ten minutes to one the next afternoon Lily found herself standing on her front porch, waiting for Mrs. Potter to appear and apparate with her to the Potter house. Lily tapped her foot and glanced at her watch, slightly annoyed even though James' mother wasn't expected for another ten minutes.
Lily's stomach twisted and squirmed as she sat and waited. The prospect of seeing Mrs. Potter filled her with dread. She had met the woman a few times last summer and liked her immensely, but had no idea what James had told his mother regarding their fallout.
At two minutes to one there was a small pop and Mrs. Potter stood before Lily, smiling sweetly at the redhead. She was small, a head shorter than her son and the top of her head reached Lily's nose. Her hair had turned grey but her light brown eyes danced with youth and humor.
"It's marvelous to see you, dear!" Mrs. Potter cried happily, stepping forward and enveloping Lily in a crushing hug. "James wrote us straightaway after he ran into you on the train and discovered you're like us. Monty and I didn't believe it, of course. We thought Jamesy was pulling one of his jokes, but then Malena McKinnon told me that Marley had a new friend who had been homeschooled. Oh, I can't believe you're a witch! Of course, I'm sure you thought we were muggles."
"Y-yes," Lily choked out, her lungs constricted by Mrs. Potter's embrace. Either James hadn't told his mother about the dissolution of his and Lily's relationship or else Mrs. Potter liked Lily more than the redhead had ever guessed. "It was a shock for both of us, I think, when I saw James on the Hogwarts Express."
"Well, he's told us you're doing spectacularly in school. I do hope he helped you settle in. I'm glad you're in Gryffindor, it must have been nice to have Jamesy there for you this past year."
"Erm," Lily mumbled, her face flushing. She stared down at her feet. Evidently James had chosen not to share the news of his and Lily's stiff acquaintanceship with his parents. "Yes," she muttered. "We see a lot of each other."
"Well, that's wonderful, dear," Mrs. Potter said warmly. "Now, are you ready to go? You don't have a bag or anything? Well, then, just grab onto my arm here, and make sure you hold on tight. It's going to feel very odd but no matter what don't let go. Understand?"
Lily tightened her grip on the woman's elbow and nodded, wondering briefly what apparition would feel like.
Suddenly the world around Lily disappeared and she felt as though she were being squeezed into a very narrow tube, with the walls squeezing every inch of her. Blackness engulfed her and her chest was being pressed so tightly she couldn't draw breath. The only solid thing left in the world was Mrs. Potter's elbow and Lily felt her grip slacken as her lungs burst for air.
Just as suddenly as it started, the sensation lifted and Lily felt her feet slam into solid ground. Wobbling slightly, she regained her balance with the help of Mrs. Potter's steadying hand and looked around at her new surroundings.
Her jaw dropped. They stood in the middle of an enormous front lawn which rolled out from a large, stone house. Lily's eyes flitted around as she took in every detail. It was magnificent. It looked like something straight from a Jane Austen book.
"It's beautiful," she said under her breath, still staring at the house.
"Oh, yes, it's been in the family for centuries," Mrs. Potter said lightly, taking Lily by the arm and leading the stunned girl towards the front door.
When they reached the door Mrs. Potter pulled out her wand and tapped the heavy wood. Slowly, the door opened of its own accord to reveal a large, bright foyer. Standing in the middle, looking very unsure of himself, stood James, who had obviously been awaiting their arrival.
"Oh, good," Mrs. Potter said happily, releasing Lily and pushing her gently further into the room before bustling over to the adjoining hallway. "I'm going to check on the garden, James I trust you'll keep everyone in order?"
"Yes, Mum," James said evenly, his eyes glued to the floor. Lily's face flushed and she felt as though she were intruding on something. She hadn't counted on being left alone with James mere seconds after arriving.
Mrs. Potter stood in the hallway, searching through a large trunk for something. James glanced up at his mother and then approached Lily, taking her by the elbow and leading her down a different hallway. As soon as they rounded the corner and were out of Mrs. Potter's line of sight he let go of her.
"You didn't tell her about everything that happened," Lily blurted out, half accusingly.
James flushed and kept his eyes in front of him. "She knows we're not—together," he mumbled.
"But you didn't tell her about everything else," Lily faltered.
He shrugged. "She likes you."
Lily didn't answer and they walked in uncomfortable silence until James entered a drawing room where Marlene and Sirius were draped over the sofa. Lily entered slowly and took in Sirius' appearance. At first glance he looked very much the same, black hair falling neatly over his eyes, his posture relaxed but confident. But the longer she looked, the more Lily found to suggest that her friend was not alright at all. The smile Sirius offered her when she walked in didn't reach his grey eyes, his foot twitched nervously every few seconds, when he thought no one was watching his face fell into a hard, brooding expression.
"Sirius?" Lily asked tentatively, putting a hand on his shoulder and sitting down next to the boy. "What happened?"
He sighed and turned to face her. Though he gave her a small smile, his grey eyes remained cold and stormy. "You know how I told you my family's a bunch of pureblood mania nutters?"
"Er, yes," Lily said quietly, rubbing her thumb in circles on her friend's shoulder blade. Beside her, Marlene and James were seated on the couch, watching Sirius with expressions of interest and wariness.
Sirius looked around at his friends and grunted before sinking back into the sofa. "I got home last month and they start all the same old shit—talking about how I'm a disgrace for hanging around blood-traitors and filth. Somehow they knew about you, Lily. I don't know how, probably my idiot brother repeating something Mulciber or Snape said."
Lily inhaled sharply but didn't say anything. She continued to watch Sirius steadily as he continued his story.
"Well, I got an earful for that one. Something about polluting fine lineage."
Lily paused and opened her mouth.
"No, don't apologize," Sirius said roughly, giving her a smile that came off as more of a grimace. "It's not your fault. You're worth ten of them, Lilybean. Anyways, for a bit it stopped. That should have been a warning but I was so happy they were just leaving me alone. I thought, maybe this is it. Maybe they're going to accept me." His face darkened. "And then a few days ago my dad came into my room and told me they wanted me to join up."
"You mean—" Marlene broke in, looking horrified.
"Yes," Sirius said grimly. "They want me to become one of those mask-wearing muggle baiters who run around torturing people for fun."
"Oh, Merlin," Lily said, her eyes wide as she stared at the boy. "What did you do?"
Sirius shrugged and swept his hair out of his eyes. "I told them to go to Hell. Grabbed my stuff and rode the Knight Bus over here."
"Oh, Sirius," Lily said, edging closer. "I'm so sorry. That's terrible."
"S'alright," he said nonchalantly.
Marlene moved closer too and put an arm around Sirius' neck. "We're here for you," the brunette said softly.
"Thanks, Marls," Sirius answered.
Lily looked past Marlene to James, who had remained quiet. He was watching the interaction with an odd look on his face. His eyes flickered up for a moment and latched onto Lily's. With a start, she dropped her gaze. And turned back to Sirius, who now had Marlene wrapped up in a bear hug.
"Is there anything we can do?" the redhead asked, scooching away from the pair.
"It's enough you came," Sirius said, flashing her an echo of his characteristic grin. "And anyways, I'm waiting until you and Marley clear out before I have my real tantrum. Prongs is the only one I would want for that."
"Er, right," Lily said while James snorted. "Are you sure? I could—hey," Lily stopped and snapped her head up so she was looking Sirius directly in the eye. She had a wonderful idea. "Sirius," she said, staring at her friend, who looked confused. "Would you like to be my date to my sister's wedding this weekend?"
Sirius raised an eyebrow and then let out a short bark of laughter. "Are you tired of Goldstein?" he asked.
"No!" Lily cried, swatting him on the arm. "He's in Spain and I was going to go alone, but I just thought that it would be much more fun to go with a friend and if you would like—"
"Lilybean, I would love to," Sirius said, cutting her off. Lily beamed at him.
"Oh, wonderful!" she exclaimed, still smiling as Sirius extricated himself from Marlene and gave her a swift hug.
Behind Sirius, James' eyes had dropped back to the floor, a faint flush creeping up his neck and ears. Lily glanced up and her eyes roved over James' face, his scarlet ears and his tight jaw.
"Can I get one of those muggle tuxedos?" Sirius asked enthusiastically, jarring Lily from her observations.
"Er, how about you let me help with your clothes," she suggested, moving away from Sirius and plopping herself down on the floor. "If you draw too much attention Petunia will be after my head."
The rest of the day passed and when Lily returned home she found herself looking forward to Petunia's wedding instead of dreading it. The day arrived quickly and Lily was standing once again on her porch, though this time wearing a pretty green dress instead of a t-shirt, waiting for Mrs. Potter to apparate with Sirius.
Lily ran her fingers through her curled hair, pulling the strands taut and watching them bounce back into loose ringlets. Around the house, her father and Petunia, as well as eight members of the wedding party, were running about frantically trying to ensure that every minute detail was perfect. For the first time since she had heard the news, Lily was exceedingly happy she hadn't been chosen as a bridesmaid. The thought of spending such a lovely August day cooped up in the house counting centerpieces made her shudder.
She almost didn't hear Mrs. Potter and Sirius arrive. That is until Sirius opened his mouth and shouted "Lilybean, look at my muggle suit, don't I look dashing?"
"Sirius, hush," Mrs. Potter admonished, stepping back and eyeing the boy critically. "Make sure you behave," she said sternly, narrowing her eyes as Sirius gave her his best innocent smile. Mrs. Potter rolled her eyes and straightened his tie. "If I hear from Lily that you pulled one of your jokes at her sister's wedding—"
"If he does then I'll take care of him," Lily said in a syrupy voice, the underlying threat thinly veiled.
Mrs. Potter smiled warmly, her brown eyes crinkling. "I'm sure you will, dear," she said. Moving closer to Lily, the woman stood on her toes and whispered into Lily's ear, "thank you so much for inviting him. He needed something like this. James has been so worried about him."
"It was nothing," Lily said, slightly embarrassed by the show of appreciation. "Really, I'm just happy he agreed to come."
"Well, it's done a world of good," Mrs. Potter said kindly, moving back to Sirius and straightening his collar. "And you look lovely, Lily. That shade of green suits you."
"Thank you," Lily replied, looking down happily at her dress. The color did go extremely well with her hair and eyes, much better than the pink nightmares Petunia had bought for her bridesmaids.
"Well, I'm off," Mrs. Potter said, giving Sirius a hug. "Have fun, you two. Stay safe. Behave!"
"We will!" Lily and Sirius called out together. Mrs. Potter smiled once more and then turned on the spot and disappeared.
"Right," Sirius said, turning to Lily. "What do we do now?"
"The wedding doesn't start for over an hour," Lily told him, moving towards the house and gesturing for Sirius to follow her. "I wanted you to come early because, well—"
"You were worried I would be abominably late," Sirius finished for her, not looking offended in the least.
"Er, yeah," Lily said, embarrassed at having been read so easily. "But they're still getting ready and taking things over to the church. So we can just stay here for a bit. Unless," she paused and chewed her lip, "d'you want to meet my dad?"
"Sure," Sirius said gaily, slipping his hand on Lily's elbow. "Lead the way, Evans."
Lily walked them through the house up to her father's room, where he sat on the bed flipping through an old photo album. In the next room over, Lily could hear the squawking of Petunia and her friends.
"Daddy?" Lily said tentatively, approaching her father slowly. "There's somebody I want you to meet."
"What?" Mr. Evans asked absently, barely raising his eyes from the pictures.
"I have someone you should meet," Lily said, ushering Sirius forward.
Once again, Lily's father hardly looked up. "I suppose this is Connor?" he asked with disinterest, flipping the page of the photo album.
"No, Daddy," Lily said patiently. "Connor's in Spain, I told you that. This is Sirius, he's my friend from school."
"Oh, yes," Mr. Evans said, nodding his head slightly. "Yes, I remember Severus."
Lily stifled a quick giggle and turned to see Sirius' look of horror. He opened and closed his mouth as he stared at Mr. Evans, apparently at a loss for words at such a horrendous mistake.
Mr. Evans looked up properly for the first time since they had entered the room and peered at Sirius curiously. "You've cleaned up well," the older man said evenly. From the next room there was a piercing shriek and Lily winced as her father sighed and stood up.
"I suppose I'd better make sure everything's okay," he said, sounding as though he had lived through a thousand wars. "This is a day I really wish I had your mum here."
"Me too, Daddy," Lily said quietly. Mr. Evans walked past them to the door, but doubled back before he had cleared the room. He looked hard at his daughter for a second before his face crumbled into an expression of tenderness. He reached out and took her face in his hands and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "You look beautiful, Lily," he said quietly, before hurriedly walking out of the room and into the pandemonium.
Lily turned and burst out laughing when she caught sight of Sirius, still aghast. "He thought I was Snivellus!" he cried indignantly.
Lily only giggled and moved to pick up the photo album her father had left out on the bed. Her breath hitched for a moment as she looked down at the black and white picture tucked in the sleeve. It was of her mother and father on the day of their wedding, both wearing radiant smiles. With a small sigh, Lily tugged the photograph out of the album and tucked it away.
For all the chaos that had ensued that morning, Petunia's wedding turned out beautifully. The bride wore her mother's dress, the large ball gown skirt hiding Petunia's bony frame and the beaded top shining exquisitely. Lily watched with more than a little jealousy as her older sister floated down the aisle, her face arranged in a small but glowing smile. Lily thought the image was ruined slightly when Petunia reached the altar and joined Vernon, who rather resembled a particularly ugly bulldog shoved in a suit.
The prayers were said and the vows repeated and Lily watched, with a mixture of pleasure and horror as Petunia gave Vernon a chaste peck on the mouth and was pronounced Mrs. Vernon Dursley.
"What did you think?" Lily asked Sirius while they sat at the reception later.
Sirius shrugged and grabbed two hors d'oeuvres from a passing waiter. "It was alright," he said between mouthfuls. "Though your sister's husband looks like a fat Hungarian horntail."
Lily laughed and dug into the food. She was supremely happy she had asked Sirius to accompany her. He was funny and friendly, but knew enough about her relationship with Petunia not to ask too many questions. Several family members, throughout the course of the evening, wandered over to get a glimpse of the handsome, roguish boy Lily had brought. Sirius thought it was great fun to meet Lily's muggle relatives and amused himself for half an hour by telling them about the time he had fought a dragon. Naturally, nobody believed him, but their reactions spurred Sirius on.
"No, I'm telling you!" He declared to Lily's Great Aunt Martha, who was practically on her toes with delight. "I was just walking through a little Swedish town with my brother, and we see a giant Norwegian Ridgeback coming towards us!"
"Sirius," Lily said warningly, raising her eyebrows. "Let's not get carried away."
"Don't you worry, Lilybean," he grinned, winking ostentatiously. "I know you'll keep me grounded."
Lily laughed and was about to find her father and make sure he hadn't squirreled himself away, when a claw-like hand grasped her upper arm.
"Hey!" Lily cried, whipping around.
"Shh!" Petunia hissed, pulling Lily away from the crowd and to a semi-private alcove near the kitchens.
"Tuney, what are you doing?" Lily asked, trying to wrench her arm from her sister's grip.
"I can't believe you brought one of your people here!" Petunia spat. Lily ceased her efforts to free her arm and stared at her sister's white face, which was screwed up in rage.
Anger roared up inside Lily and she narrowed her eyes. After everything Petunia had done, how she had treated Lily, she had the nerve to tear her away from the celebration for the sole purpose of starting another petty argument. "He's my friend," Lily said fiercely. "Since I wasn't in the wedding I needed a date."
"You could easily have found someone else!" Petunia cried, stepping back slightly but still not letting go of Lily's arm. Her eyes flashed and a dangerous red flush stained her face. "You could have gone with one of the neighborhood boys. Or what happened to that boy James who was around all last summer? He was normal!"
Lily bit back a shriek of laughter. Her face boiled and she clenched her hands into fists. It was all so ridiculous, all so bloody perfect and ridiculous. "He's like me, Tuney!" she shouted maniacally, ignoring her sister's glare and "shh!" "James is like me! He can do the same things I can do and he goes to my school! And guess what, we barely speak anymore. And maybe you would know that if you had bothered to open one of my letters!"
Petunia's face was now bright red and she glowered down at Lily, who held her ground firmly, despite her quaking bottom lip. "You're a freak," Petunia hissed angrily. "You brought a freak to my wedding—"
"I'm your sister!" Lily cried, close to tears. "I'm your bloody sister and all I did was go to school and bring a friend to your wedding and you treat me as though I've done something terrible!"
"Save it, Lily," Petunia said in a strained voice, a vain on her forehead pulsing. "Just stop."
"No!" Lily shrieked, finally freeing her arm from Petunia's grasp and stepping back, her face sizzling. "You can't treat me like this Petunia, it isn't fair!"
"Fair?" Petunia asked in a choked voice, her eyes immediately widening. "You want to talk to me about fair, Lily?" the bride took a step forward, her face hard. "I've spent the last year trying to pull our father out of his grief. I've worked the same shitty office job for three years so that we can pay the bills. I've answered everyone's questions and taken care of everything and made all the arrangements for Mum's will and memorial. And you were supposed to be there so I wouldn't be alone! And you left—" Petunia paused and took a deep breath, the color rapidly draining from her face. She straightened and her eyes met Lily's as she squared her shoulders.
"Today was supposed to be my day," Petunia said quietly. The venom had left her voice and now there was only bitterness. "It was supposed to be the one day where I didn't have to do the thankless work and could have people celebrating me. But no, you had to bring that—that—boy. So I can spend my wedding day answering questions about precious Lily and her handsome, mysterious date."
Lily stared at her sister, her body numb. She wanted to say something; she had to say something. But no words came to mind.
"Even my own wedding day is all about you, Lily," Petunia said harshly. She stepped back again and sent Lily a sad frown before twirling around and sweeping back to the party.
Lily stood stock still in the alcove. Her mind was reeling as she thought back over Petunia's words. A thousand feelings, remorse, shame, anger, sadness, all coursed through her and made her feel as though she were two inches tall. With a heaviness in her chest, Lily trudged back to the reception. She spotted Sirius quickly at the center of a large crowd, talking animatedly about Merlin knew what. She walked up to him timidly, squeezing through people and touching his arm softly.
Sirius looked down at her with a wide grin. "Yes, Lilybean?" he asked genially.
"Can we go?" Lily asked softly, her eyes pleading.
Sirius searched her face for a moment and hurriedly dropped his grin. "Of course," he said, throwing an arm over her shoulder. "Nice to meet you all!" he called to the crowd of people he had been entertaining. They all called their goodbyes and thanks for the stories, but Sirius turned his back quickly and walked with Lily out of the reception hall.
Mrs. Potter wasn't due to collect Sirius until later in the evening so they wandered aimlessly around Lily's neighborhood. Eventually they found themselves sitting on the swings at the park where Lily and Petunia used to play as little girls.
"I take it things haven't gotten better with your sister?" Sirius asked quietly as he swung back and forth.
Lily shook her head sadly. "She hates me," she whispered.
Sirius put his feet on the ground to stop his movement and put an arm gingerly on her back. "It's not your fault, Lily," he said, sounding a bit unsure.
Lily shook his hand off and brushed the hair from her face. Her lower lip began to quiver as she stared at the ground. "It is my fault," she said, not daring to look up at Sirius lest she burst into tears. "I left her here by herself. I never realized—" she broke off, not sure what she wanted to say. She hadn't realized how miserable Petunia was? She hadn't realized how badly her dad was dealing with his grief? She hadn't realized how forgotten her sister felt?
"Lily, you know you couldn't have done anything else," Sirius said, replacing his hand on her back. "You had to go to Hogwarts, you belong there." He paused and gave a small snort of humorless laughter. "No matter what psychotic blood purists like my family think."
Lily gave a small smile. "I know," she whispered. "I just—I thought we could work it out."
Sirius nodded and moved his hand awkwardly up and down Lily's back, trying to comfort her. "That's what I thought with Reg," he said. "I thought he would eventually see sense. But you can't make someone understand something if they're not willing to listen. It looks like he's going to end up just like my parents."
Lily gave a sympathetic nod and they sat in silence for a minute, Sirius still clumsily trying to rub Lily's back.
"Sirius?" Lily said, breaking the silence and looking up for the first time. A few tears clung to her eyelashes, but her face was free of stains. "Why, of all places did you go to James' house when you ran away?"
Sirius paused for a minute and then smiled, his face looking far away. "He's my best friend," he said. "I knew he would understand. He's been great, invited me to move in about five minutes after I showed up at his door. He loaned me clothes, set up an entire backyard quidditch pitch to take my mind off everything. He's the one who wrote to Marley to come visit and asked her to write you—"
"What?" Lily's head snapped up and she stared at Sirius.
"He thought you would want to know," Sirius shrugged, though a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. "And he thought you would want to help."
Lily nodded and sat silently, contemplating everything that had happened, everything she knew about James. He could be very arrogant, and mean-spirited. That much was true. But, Lily thought as she settled back into her swing, he was also capable of being incredibly loyal and kindhearted. He had shown that much over the past week.
"He's a good friend," she murmured.
"He's my best mate," Sirius said. "That's the thing about Prongs, he'll do almost anything for the people he cares about."
Lily raised her eyebrows and turned towards Sirius. "Can I ask about the nicknames?"
Sirius chuckled and shook his head. "Marauder's secret," he said simply.
They lapsed into silence once more, each sitting thoughtfully. This time it was Sirius who broke it.
"James is a good bloke, Lily."
"I know," she said quietly, feeling the flush creep back into her cheeks.
"He misses you," Sirius continued, looking intently at her. "I wish you could hear how he talks about you, how smart you are, how you're the kindest person in the world, how your smile could even make Moaning Myrtle happy."
Lily's face burned and she continued to stare at the ground, pumping her legs so that she swung higher. "I miss him too," she said, not looking at Sirius. "I—I think I was a bit unfair to him."
"He's kind of a berk sometimes," Sirius said. He had stopped swinging and now half stood, half sat, and watched Lily climb higher and higher into the air. "So are you guys going to work it out?" he asked.
From above, Lily sighed. She stopped moving her legs and waited until she lost most of her momentum before answering. "I don't know," she said. "I'm afraid it might be too late. So much has happened—maybe too much. Maybe we just can't be friends at this point."
"You don't believe that," Sirius said knowingly. "I think you're just too scared, Lilybean."
"Maybe I am scared," Lily shot back defensively. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Sirius. "Wouldn't you be scared?"
"I'm not saying I wouldn't," Sirius said. "But you can't live in fear."
Lily chuckled and unfolded her arms, leaning back in her swing. "I think that's the most mature thing I've ever heard you say, Sirius Black."
"Looks like you and Remus are rubbing off on me," Sirius said solemnly. "Good thing I'm living with James. I have a whole three weeks of pranks and tomfoolery to ensure I'm at peak immaturity by the time we go back to school."
Lily laughed and swatted him on the shoulder. "Prat," she muttered good-naturedly.
They stayed in the park, having contests to see who could swing the highest, until it was nearly time for Mrs. Potter to collect Sirius.
"Thank you for coming tonight," Lily said as they walked back to the Evans house.
"My pleasure, Lilybean," Sirius responded.
They arrived at the house and Mrs. Potter appeared minutes later, thanking Lily once again before disapparating with Sirius. Lily stood alone in her front yard for a moment and was about to go inside when she heard a faint shuffling by the garden.
Debating whether to bolt for the front door, or to embrace the Gryffiindor mindset and rush headlong towards the danger, Lily didn't move. She had only just made up her mind that house values don't matter in the muggle world and she should bolt for the front door when the shuffling stopped and Severus appeared.
Lily gasped in surprise, though she quickly recovered and narrowed her eyes at her old best friend. She remembered too late her wand, stowed away in a drawer in her bedroom.
"What do you want?" she asked coolly, her voice firmer than she felt.
Severus' face was hard. "Why didn't you answer my letters?" he asked, ignoring her question.
"Because I have no reason to," Lily said, not taking her eyes off him. "Was I not clear enough in June? We. Are. Not. Friends."
Severus' eyes widened and his nostrils flared. He took a step forward. "Lily—"
"No!" she cried, backing up. "Any friendship we had ended the second you said that word!"
Severus stopped. His sallow face was deathly pale, his black eyes sparkled with rage. "I see," he said in a quiet, constricted voice, as though his anger was physically blocking his windpipe. "So you can pal around with Black, whose family all think that your kind is scum—"
"Don't you think so too?" Lily cut in, her green eyes flashing. "Last time I checked they're on your side."
"I'm not—"
"You are," Lily said shortly, feeling no pity when Severus' mouth turned to a pathetic plead. "And you know what? Sirius Black is ten times the man you will ever be."
Severus' face twisted into a humorless smile. He let out a derisive snort. "At least I don't run away from my problems," he said. "Aren't Gryffindors supposed to be brave? I don't see much bravery in running away from home."
Lily stopped, puzzled. "How do you—" she paused and everything clicked together. Fresh rage filled her as she glared at Severus, who seemed to realize he had given himself away. "You were spying on us!" Lily cried. "Of all the low—"
"A morality lecture from the girl who's pining after a big headed berk while she has a boyfriend?" Severus sneered, stepping towards her.
"I'm not pining," Lily spat, her voice shaking. "and James isn't a berk. He's one of the kindest, most loyal people I've ever met."
Severus' jaw clenched; Lily took a strange sort of satisfaction in knowing she had hit a nerve.
"It's a pity I can't say the same for you," she said loftily. She briefly saw Severus' face contort in anger but she didn't wait to hear his reaction. She ran back to the house without turning back. Once inside she slammed the door and bolted it before sinking down on the cold tile floor. Everything was a mess, but one thing had come out crystal clear over the course of the night. It was impossible for her to forget about James Potter.
Author's Note: WOW THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR FEEDBACK, YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING! For everyone who has written a review, you rock and please keep sending them, I love reading them! For everyone who has followed and/or favorited this story you rock also. I know I promised James/Lily scenes, and chapter 13 is going to deliver on that! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
