Lily trooped down to breakfast the next morning with her friends, exhaustion threatening to overtake her. The events of the previous night, coupled with a terrible night's sleep, left her with bleary eyes and tousled hair as she entered the Great Hall.

The hall teemed with students, but her eyes snapped immediately to James' untidy black hair at the end of the Gryffindor. He sat with Peter and Sirius, though even from a distance Lily could see the three were barely looking at each other, much less talking. Peter sat between his two friends, facing each in turn and attempting to coax out a reaction with a joke or observation. James remained stony faced; Sirius offered a remark, though it was none too kind judging by the way Peter's eyes widened and he hastily turned away.

The girls meandered over to the table. Lily saw out of the corner of her eye Marlene frowning at the three Marauders.

"Where's Remus?" she asked, taking a seat in front of Sirius.

"Ill," James said, spearing a kipper.

"He wasn't feeling well last night either," Mary mused, sitting next to Marlene and in front of Peter, furrowing her brow. "I hope it isn't anything contagious, it'd be a right pain to be ill this early in term."

"I wouldn't worry about it," James said, still staring moodily at his plate.

Lily took the seat across from him and Alice the one beside her. She looked up briefly, hoping to catch James' eye. She had been meaning to ask him discreetly if things were alright with Sirius, though now it seemed that was unnecessary.

"You lot have a good first night back?" Marlene asked brightly, clearly hoping to direct the conversation to a lively subject. "Plan any new pranks?"

Sirius grunted and didn't look up. James merely shrugged. "It was alright," he said.

Marlene narrowed her eyes and looked between the three boys, a crease appearing in her forehead. "What's wrong with you three this morning?" she demanded.

"Nothing," James said brusquely, looking her in the eye for the first time that morning. "Don't worry about it."

"You're barely speaking!" Marlene cried, appealing to Sirius this time. "What's happened? Did you have a fight? Are you just unable to function properly without Remus?"

"Leave Remus out of this," James snapped, his fork dangling loosely in his hand.

Marlene raised her eyebrows and sat back, looking appraisingly at the boys.

"Er, what classes are you taking?" Lily broke in, speaking to James and giving him a small smile.

James set the fork down on his plate and ran a hand through his hair, regaining a bit of his usual swagger as he listed off his subjects.

"Transfiguration, defense, charms, potions, herbology, and arithmancy."

"Me too," Lily nodded, ignoring the curious glances they were garnering from their friends. "Except I'm not taking arithmancy and I'm continuing with history of magic."

James crinkled his nose and pretended to gag. "Who in their right mind willingly takes History of Magic N.E.W.T.?"

Lily shrugged. "It's interesting," she said, grabbing a muffin. "I didn't grow up around this and I rather enjoy learning about the magical world."

James shook his head with a small smile. "To each his own, I suppose. Though I do think this makes you certifiably insane, Lily."

She laughed lightly and tossed a bit of her muffin at him. "Prat," she said.

The rest of the group stared at them and Lily realized her friends didn't know about her newly formed friendship with James. By the time she had returned to the dormitory last night, they had all been asleep. She blushed and quickly turned to ask Mary about her classes.

McGonagall came over and distributed schedules, reminding them all to check when their free periods fell.

Students began to filter out of the Great Hall, making their way to classes. Lily scanned her piece of parchment and found she had potions first. She grabbed her bag and made to stand up, followed by the others. They waved goodbye to Mary and Peter, neither of whom were taking potions, and began walking to the dungeons. As they exited the hall Remus met them, his eyes rimmed by purple bags and his face drawn. James and Remus walked with Lily, while Marlene and Alice whispered behind them and Sirius trailed the group, his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes glued to the floor.

Lily pushed open the heavy door to the potions classroom and looked around, her heart sinking. She had held on to a thread of hope that Gryffindors and Slytherins wouldn't have the class together anymore, but Severus sat at a table near the door, surrounded by Mulciber, Avery, and Urquhart. His mouth twisted into a sneer when he saw her but Lily averted her eyes. She had no wish to enter into a battle of wills with Severus this early into an already trying day.

She chose a table on the opposite side of the room, realizing sadly that she would have to find a new partner now that Mary was no longer there. James and Remus stood beside her. Sirius hesitated for a moment before going to the table in front of them. Marlene and Alice continued to talk quietly as they cast inquisitive glances towards the others and filed in beside Sirius.

Lily squirmed in discomfort and looked around the room. Aside from the four slytherins she had seen when she first walked in, there were a handful of ravenclaws sitting together. Connor wasn't there, and Lily hadn't been expecting him. Hestia Jones, who appeared to be the only hufflepuff to pursue a N.E.W.T. in potions, sat towards the back at a table with Emmeline Vance, who caught Lily's eye and gave a slight nod.

Slughorn burst through the door with his usual joviality and Lily's gaze jumped back to the potions master.

"Welcome, welcome," he boomed, grinning around. "Welcome to the beginning of your N.E.W.T. studies." He launched into a speech about the usefulness of advanced potion making and the wonderful concoctions they would be examining in the upcoming year. Lily's mind began to wander as Slughorn droned on. She looked over at Marlene, who was playing absently with the ends of her hair, and to Alice, whose face was turned towards Slughorn, though her eyes were glazed. Beside them, Sirius leaned back in his chair, his face showing boredom, but lacking its usual haughty expression.

"…So find a partner and turn to page 6!" Slughorn called out, rubbing his hands together and flicking his wand to the blackboard so directions appeared in long, spindly handwriting.

Startled, Lily looked around frantically for a partner. Somebody nudged her gently in the arm and she turned to find James glancing sheepishly at her.

"Wanna be my partner?" he asked quietly.

"Er—" Lily hesitated, glancing around at her friends, who were talking quietly once again.

"Please," James said, his eyes pleading. "I can't work with Sirius right now after—" He trailed off.

"What about Remus?" Lily asked, nodding towards the pale boy.

"He's rubbish at potions," James shrugged, a ghost of a smile playing at his mouth. "I'm shocked he managed to scrape an O.W.L. honestly."

"Don't you think it would look odd—" Lily looked away and chewed her lip, trying to catch Marlene or Alice's eye.

"Aren't we friends now?" James asked, raising an eyebrow. "There's nothing odd about two friends partnering up in class."

"Oh, alright," Lily relented, taking out her cauldron and opening her book briskly. "But you'd better not bring my classwork down. I've a reputation to uphold."

"Of course," James said, moving closer so he could see the instructions.

Lily glanced up, expecting to find Marlene and Alice watching her. To her surprise, she found that her two friends had separated. Alice had moved back a seat and now stood beside Remus. Marlene and Sirius remained at the front table.

"Are you sure you want to work with me?" she asked James again as she rolled up the sleeves of her robe. "It won't be strange or—I don't know—"

"Awkward?" James supplied, the corner of his mouth twitching. His eyes gravitated towards Sirius, who was arguing with Marlene over which of them would light the fire beneath their cauldron; his mouth turned down and his shoulders slumped. "No," he said, removing the top of one of the vials in his potion kit, "I don't think it will be."

Still a bit bewildered, but deciding it wasn't worth arguing over, Lily bent down hastily to read the instructions in the book. She added the first few ingredients and set about stirring, counting the revolutions in her head. Beside her, James was doing the same, and Lily took the opportunity to lean in and ask the question that had been plaguing her since they had left Dumbledore's office the night before.

"What was Sirius' punishment?"

He paused for a moment, but continued stirring, not raising his eyes from his cauldron. "He was almost suspended," he muttered. "I reckon if he'd pulled that with someone a little more influential—"

"So someone whose mother or father is on the board of governors," Lily broke in.

"Yeah," James nodded. "I reckon if it'd been one of them he would've been suspended or chucked out. But seeing as it wasn't anybody important—"

Lily made a slightly angry noise. James sent a glare her way.

"You know what I meant," he snapped. "And anyways, seeing as Snape wasn't hurt, Dumbledore let him off with probation and a month of detention."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "That's it?" she asked.

James nodded again, his jaw tightening. "He said something about the worst punishment couldn't come from him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily asked, reaching for the jar of lacewig flies and adding six of them. "Is there going to be something else, something that they won't enforce yet?"

"I think he meant more of a personal punishment," James said, glancing towards Remus. Lily followed his gaze and understood his meaning, her heart sinking for her two friends.

"What did he do when he found out?" she whispered, keeping her eyes trained on Remus and Alice to be sure they weren't showing signs of eavesdropping.

"Sirius went down to the hospital wing to tell him this morning," James replied, his face growing paler. "Pete and I went too, just to be there. It was awful."

"Poor Remus," Lily breathed. "He must have felt terrible."

"He went mental," James said.

"Is that why you're ignoring him now?" Lily asked, turning to face James. His jaw was still set, but his hazel eyes were crinkled in sadness. "Do you have to freeze him out like this?" Lily pressed on, her eyes flickering back to Sirius, who was talking quietly to Marlene.

James' jaw twitched as he too looked towards his best friend. "He betrayed his friend for petty revenge, Lily," he said quietly, his voice hard.

"But couldn't you—"

"No," James said firmly, bending back over his cauldron. "At least not right now."

They continued working in silence, occasionally asking the other to hand over a particular ingredient or asking for clarification on the instructions. Marlene turned around several times throughout the lesson and threw Lily a confused glance, though Lily tried to pretend she didn't see.

Slughorn ambled over at the end of the lesson and peered excitedly into Lily's cauldron.

"Miss Evans," he said genially. "One of my stars, and working with Mr. Potter?" His face broke into a wide grin. "Did cupid pay you a visit over the holidays?"

Lily felt her face grow hot and she sputtered out a string of "er—I—no—er" cursing herself for agreeing to be James' stupid partner. To her relief, James took one look at her red face and turned hurriedly to Slughorn with a rueful smile on his face.

"I'm afraid we're just friends, Professor," he said. "Though I rather think we make wonderful potions partners."

"Oh ho!" Slughorn chuckled. "I see. Forgive me, forgive me, dear, if I made you uncomfortable. Well, let's see then. Yes, it's exactly the shade of blue it's supposed to be at the halfway point, it looks marvelous! But then, I hardly expected less from the two of you. One of my brightest pupils and the son of a potions legend!" And with that he waddled away, still chuckling to himself.

"Potions legend?" Lily asked, recovering herself and turning in surprise to face James, whose ears had gone a bit pink.

"Er, yeah," he mumbled, tugging at his collar. "My dad's done a fair bit with potions."

"Oh," Lily said. "I—I didn't know that." It felt odd, not knowing something about James. She had grown used to thinking she knew entirely too much about him.

"Don't worry about it," he said, beginning to pack up his things without looking at her.

The gryffindors went to transfiguration next, where McGonagall started them off with a long and rather intimidating speech about the difficulty and importance of their N.E.W.T. exams, before launching into a complicated lesson on the theory of vanishing and finally handing out matches for everyone to practice.

Marlene had been sending strange looks in Lily's direction for the majority of the lesson and as soon as McGonagall told them to practice vanishing their toothpicks, the brunette hauled Lily, Alice and Mary to a table in the very corner of the room.

Lily found herself a bit disgruntled at this, as she had been planning on working near James so he could help her when she inevitably had trouble. One look at Marlene's determined face, however, squashed any hopes she had had about slipping away.

They each set their matches on the table and drew their wands, but before any could mutter the incantation, Marlene spun around to face Lily.

"What's going on with the boys?" she demanded, narrowing her eyes at Lily, who felt a flush creep back across her face. "Sirius has hardly spoken all morning and they're all acting strangely."

"I don't know," Lily lied, looking away uneasily as her friends stared at her with raised eyebrows. She didn't like lying, she hated keeping secrets, but there was no way to explain what had transpired the night before without giving away, or at least seriously alluding to, Remus' secret.

"You don't know?" Marlene asked in disbelief, her dark eyes trained on Lily.

"No, I don't," Lily said.

"Then d'you mind telling us when you and James became so chummy?" Mary asked, smirking. "Last I heard you thought you guys would never be able to work things out."

"Well, we worked them out," Lily said nervously, her face steaming.

"When did this happen?" Marlene asked, momentarily forgetting her suspicions as she leaned forward with glee, hoping to extract every detail from her friend. "It couldn't have been on the train."

"No, er," Lily stammered, thinking wildly for a plausible story. "It was—er—last night actually. Before we went up to the dormitory. We just decided it was silly to go on as we had been and it would be better to just put everything behind us."

"Really?" Marlene asked. "After all those months of whining and crying and shouting you just…decided it was better not to?"

"Er—yeah," Lily said, biting her lip.

"Blimey," Alice said. "Talk about anticlimactic."

"So that was really all?" Marlene asked again, looking a bit put-out at the lack of a dramatic ending.

"Mhm," Lily mumbled, turning her attention back to her match.

"McGonagall's coming over," Alice hissed. The girls all hurriedly waved their wands and said the incantation; all four matches stayed resolutely on the table.

Across the classroom, James watched the four girls anxiously. He had known from the moment Marlene grabbed her friends that an interrogation would be taking place. And while he knew Lily had promised not to say anything about Remus or the night before, he knew firsthand how relentless Marlene McKinnon was when she wanted to know something.

With a frustrated sigh and a flick of his wand, he lazily vanished the match sitting in front of him. James smiled to himself. No matter what else, transfiguration always brought him a strange sense of pride. He looked around the classroom, thinking regretfully about the fact none of his classmates would ever know his crowning achievement. They would never be able to admire what he had accomplished the year before.

"Prongs," Remus whispered next to him. "Can you help me?"

James turned and saw Remus glaring at his match, which remained unvanished.

"Yeah," James said, running a hand through his hair.

"I can help," Sirius said from behind them, walking around the desks dividing them and reaching out towards Remus. His face was arranged in an eager smile and his grey eyes shone as he approached his friends. "Here, you just—"

"I'll help him," James said coldly, turning so his back faced Sirius. The boy stopped in his tracks, the eagerness evaporating from his face and leaving only hurt.

"Moony," Sirius said quietly appealing to Remus, his face pleading. Remus looked stricken; he glanced at Sirius for a moment before his face crumpled and he too turned away.

"Don't call me Moony anymore," he said quietly.

Sirius stood gaping at his two friends, his face awash with sadness. "But—"

"Why don't you go back to your seat?" James suggested, grinding his teeth. "You're more of a distraction than anything here."

Remus said nothing and kept his eyes on the table. Sirius didn't move. His pleading face morphed into a glare as he continued staring at his friends. "I have the right to try and help my friends, you know," he growled. He took a step forward, eyes narrowing. "You can't—"

"Sirius, please go," Remus whispered, still not looking up.

Sirius' glare crumbled. His eyes flickered from James to Remus before he slowly turned on his heel and slunk back to his seat.

James looked up and caught Lily's eye from across the room. He knew without having to ask that she had seen the whole thing, or at least the last part. With a sigh he gave her a small smile and turned to Remus to correct his wand movement.

"It's a flick," he said, demonstrating with his own wand. "It should be short and sharp."

Remus flicked his wand and half the match disappeared. "I guess it's an improvement," he sighed, rubbing his purple-rimmed eyes.

"You'll get it," James said encouragingly, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "A lot of the trick to vanishing is getting it straight in your mind what you want to happen. You don't just want the object to not be seen, you want it to disappear completely. There's a difference."

"Right," Remus muttered, slumping in his seat. "A difference."

They both straightened a moment later when Marlene strode over, her dark eyes blazing. She walked right up to James and looked him in the eye, her chin jutting out in a way that reminded him strongly of Lily when she was angry.

"What's going on?" the brunette demanded, keeping her voice low and checking over her shoulder to ensure McGonagall was too preoccupied helping someone else to see them.

"Nothing," James replied defensively, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at his childhood friend. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't tell Marlene what had happened without revealing Remus' secret. "Just leave it alone, Marls."

"Why are you doing this to him?" she asked, her eyes flickering to Sirius, who was watching the exchange warily. "Why are you ignoring your best friend? Your best friend, James, who if you'll remember you invited to live with you this summer! What could have possibly happened—"

"I said leave it alone!" James snapped, his jaw clamping down tightly.

She opened her mouth furiously. "James—"

"Marley, please leave it," Sirius mumbled from behind them, his grey eyes staring in between the two feuding friends.

"Sirius!" she cried, moving towards him. "Don't you think—"

"No," he said firmly, putting an arm around her. "Thank you for the concern though."

James turned around angrily, trying valiantly to get ahold of his temper. Of course Marlene would sympathize with Sirius, he was practically her best friend too. And she didn't know—

His thoughts halted when he caught sight of Remus, who was watching Sirius and Marlene with a pained look on his face.

"I'm sorry, mate," James said, clapping a reassuring hand on Remus' shoulder, thinking that Marlene's anger was the source of Remus' unhappiness. "You know we can't tell her—"

"It's fine," Remus said curtly, shrugging James' hand off and turning back to the half-vanished match in front of him. "Just help me with this bloody spell."

By the time the afternoon came around and it was time for charms, Lily's mood had nosedived and she thought there was nothing she would like more than a long, hot bath and a book. Between her friends' interrogation, the hostile rift between Sirius and the other marauders, and the fact that the teachers seemed determined to crush her under a pile of homework, she had truly never had a more tiresome day.

She perked up momentarily when she saw Connor outside the classroom door; she had been worried they might not have the class together again this year. He put an arm around her waist and kissed her cheek gently while they walked inside.

"How was care of magical creatures?" she asked, choosing a seat in the second row.

"Brilliant," Connor responded, dropping into the seat next to her. "We're starting right off with auguries, fascinating things they are. And Professor Kettleburn said something about being able to take a trip over Christmas holidays to Romania to see some dragons."

"Dragons?" Lily asked, alarmed. "You're not really going to try and train dragons are you? They're some of the most dangerous—"

"We're not going to be training dragons," Connor laughed, leaning forward and kissing her nose. "It will just be to observe them, see how they interact with each other and things like that."

"Oh," Lily said, unable to think of a proper response. She sat back in her chair, her face falling into the creased, worried expression she had been wearing for most of the day.

"Are you alright?" Connor asked, his brow furrowing as he glanced at her. "You look a bit peaky."

"Just a bit stressed out," Lily said. "I've already got loads of work to do this week."

"Me too," Connor said sympathetically, reaching for her hand and squeezing it. "You'll get through it."

She smiled at him, grateful to have at least one person who didn't constantly question her or ask her to keep secrets.

"Er, Lily, I wanted to talk to you about something."

Never mind.

She sighed quietly. "Yeah?" she asked with forced nonchalance.

"Er, well, that one Gryffindor bird, I don't know her name, the blonde who went out with Potter last year—"

"Sarah Carroll?" Lily supplied, her lip curling up at the thought of the girl.

"Yeah, her," Connor said, turning red and speaking quickly. "Listen, I don't want to sound like a jealous boyfriend, but she said something about you and Potter working together in potions—"

Lily had to force herself not to roll her eyes. She straightened slightly in her seat. "Yes, we're partners," she said, feeling inexplicably guilty, though she had done nothing wrong. "Er, you see we decided to put all the drama and fighting behind us and we're friends now…just friends. And he and Black are fighting—"

"What happened with that?" Connor asked, his eyes focusing on hers. "I heard some people talking about that, saying the other three are all ignoring him and such."

"I don't know," Lily said, pressing her lips together. "Whatever it is, it seems to be important."

"Right," Connor said. "Of course. But so you and Potter are partners now because Black's not there?"

"Er, I suppose that's one way of putting it," Lily muttered, feeling her face flush.

"And you're just friends now, you say?" Connor asked, his eyebrows raised slightly, expectantly.

"Yes," Lily said firmly, trying not to show how much the question vexed her.

"D'you have any idea if he and Black are going to put this behind them anytime soon?" Connor asked, a bit too nonchalantly.

"I don't know," Lily said again, though this time truthfully. "I suppose that's up to them."

"I suppose so," Connor said.

Flitwick entered the room then and gave the sixth years yet another speech on N.E.W.T.s before assigning them the task of working on nonverbal spells.

Lily's evening passed quickly. Connor didn't mention James again when they met in the library and Marlene stayed unusually quiet throughout dinner. In fact, Lily was beginning to hope that the events of the day would blow over quickly. After dinner Alice ran off to find Frank, and Lily traipsed back to the Gryffindor common room with Marlene and Mary.

Inside, they found an unusual and rather depressing sight. Sirius Black sat alone in an armchair by the fire, his shoulders hunched and his face appearing rather grey by the dim light.

"Oh," Marlene gasped quietly, moving forward so as to comfort him.

Lily put an arm out, blocking her friend's path. "Mar," she said slowly, glancing back at Sirius, who hadn't appeared to have seen them, "let me."

Marlene gave her a puzzled look. "Are you sure?" she asked, looking a bit offended.

"Yeah," Lily nodded, chewing the inside of her cheek. "We—er—really got to know each other at my sister's wedding. I think I can help."

"Alright," Marlene said dubiously, her eyes flickering to Sirius and softening. "Tell me how he is," she said quietly, before turning and ascending the spiral staircase, closely followed by Mary.

As soon as her friends were out of sight, Lily cautiously approached the sullen boy.

"Sirius?" she asked tentatively.

He looked up, his face drawn. "Lo, Lilybean," he said tonelessly.

"Hi," she said, sinking into the chair beside him. "How are you?"

Sirius grunted but didn't say anything. Lily waited patiently, her mind brimming with sympathy and questions. She waited patiently for Sirius to say something. After all, he must have something to say to her.

It appeared he didn't and after a few long minutes of silence, the question that had been sitting heavily on her tongue since she had sat down slipped out.

"Sirius, how could you?"

He didn't say anything right away, but turned his grey eyes to look directly into her green ones. They were lined with worry and anguish. The usual twinkle was nowhere to be found.

"I don't know," he said in a low voice, dropping his head. "I don't know, Lilybean."

"Did you—" she trailed off, swallowed, and reformed the question. "Were you hoping Se—Snape would find Remus?"

"I didn't want him to die if that's what you're asking," Sirius said, his gaze resting on the dancing fire. "I just wanted to scare him—I just wanted him to feel that terrible, soul-sucking fear I've felt every fucking summer since I was eleven years old."

Lily furrowed her brow. "Sirius, what are you talking about?" she asked quietly.

He turned back to her and held her gaze. "You know why I ran away from home, Lily," he said. "You know how I felt there—how I feel now about my brother. You know why I'm worried about him. And that—that greasy little bastard had the nerve to laugh at me for that!" Sirius' voice rose with anger as he continued on, his eyes shining with rage. "He called me a coward for it! For running away from it! For leaving!"

"Sirius—"

"I just wanted him to feel afraid," he said, ignoring her attempt to console him. "I wanted him to experience that, and then see if he would laugh at me again and call me a coward."

"Sirius, what you did was terrible," Lily said firmly. "You could have killed him."

"I know," he said dully, his head dropping into his hands. "I'm not proud of this, Lily. I didn't think."

"No, you didn't," the redhead agreed, placing a hand on his shoulder. "And you broke Remus' trust."

"I know," Sirius moaned, his shoulders shaking as he fought to keep the emotion from his voice. "And I lost my three best friends."

"I don't think so," Lily said slowly, rubbing circles in Sirius' shoulder. "You made a terrible mistake, and they're understandably angry about it. But I think they'll forgive you."

"You think I deserve their forgiveness?" Sirius asked, peering at her.

"I think if you ask for it, you might be surprised," Lily said quietly.

The portrait hole opened and they both looked up in time to see the very three boys in question tumble through, their conversation dying at their lips as they saw Lily and Sirius.

Sirius eyed his friends nervously. "Well, goodnight, Lilybean," he said uneasily, rising from his seat.

"Sirius, you don't have to—" she began, shooting a look at the other three Marauders, whose faces remained impassive.

"No, it's okay," he said, attempting to smile but achieving a sort of grimace. "Thank you for talking with me."

"Not a problem," she said.

Sirius turned and walked hurriedly up the staircase to the boys' dormitory. James, Peter and Remus came and took his place. James opened his mouth as if to say something, his eyes slightly narrowed, but Lily beat him to it.

"How long are you going to go about ignoring him?" she asked, looking between the three friends.

James' eyebrows shot up at the question; he looked a bit annoyed. "You know it's not undeserved, Lily," he said.

"I understand that," she said gently, watching the stairs where Sirius had disappeared. "But you can't leave things like this forever."

"It's just—too early to forget everything," James said.

"And anyways, it looks as though he has Marlene to comfort him," Remus said bitterly, earning a surprised look from James and Peter.

Lily, the only one who understood the source of Remus' frustration didn't say anything. She rose from her own chair, smiling sadly at the three boys.

"I'm off to bed," she said. "I hope you lot can figure things out."

The boys bade her goodnight and Lily climbed the stairs to her dormitory, where she found all the other girls except Emmeline present.

"How was it?" Marlene asked, lying down on her bed.

"Alright," Lily sighed, digging through her trunk in search of her pajamas. "I think they'll work it out soon enough."

"I hope so," Mary piped up. "Freezing him out for no reason, it's mad."

"I know," Marlene said. "And nobody will bloody talk to me about it—"

"Don't worry too much, Mar," Lily said, climbing into bed. "Just let them work it out amongst themselves."

Nobody spoke for a few moments until Mary looked around in confusion. "Say, does anybody know where Em's got to?"

"I haven't seen her since dinner," Lily said.

"Me neither," Marlene added.

They turned to Sarah Carroll, who sat on the corner of her bed. "How would I know?" she asked irritably, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder. "She's always with that Hestia girl now. I hardly see her."

"She'll come up eventually," Mary said, drawing the hangings around her bed. Lily followed suit and lay awake for several hours, staring at the ceiling. This was shaping up to be a terrible start to the year.

Things did not improve over the course of the week. The workload only increased, and Lily found herself secretly wishing to go back in time to O.W.L. preparation. She and Connor spoke only about classes now, and Lily felt the strain that secrets put on the relationship. Her friends seemed to be increasingly unreliable, with Alice and Frank attached at the hip, and Marlene spending as much time as possible with Sirius.

The boys had not worked their problems out, much to Lily's disappointment. In fact, it seemed to have only escalated, with the remaining three Marauders and Sirius seeming to be in a midst of a contest to determine who could be colder to the other. They hardly acknowledged each other and Lily didn't know what had caused Sirius to pursue this tactic of regaining his friends' trust.

She walked into the common room one night, returning from a library session with Connor, to find Marlene and Sirius in a far corner playing wizard chess, and James, Peter and Remus in another corner, playing exploding snap. Both parties were doing an admirable job of sneaking glances at the other when they thought nobody was looking. James watched Sirius with a tight jaw and angry eyes; Peter looked nervously as though afraid of being attacked; Remus looked unhappily at the two and always quickly averted his eyes.

Lily watched the spectacle for a moment and saw Remus' downcast face as he turned his gaze back to his cards for the fourth time. Her heart broke for her friend, and she approached him quietly.

The boys greeted her and Lily took a seat beside Remus, leaning in to whisper to him. "I'm sorry," she said, inclining her head slightly towards Marlene and Sirius. "You could always—"

"No," he said, not even bothering to hear the suggestion.

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely."

Lily sat in silence for a minute while the boys continued their game. When the round was done Peter offered to deal her in for the next one and Lily agreed. They passed nearly an hour playing, with Peter winning nearly every round.

"I'm tired," Remus announced after a particularly violent round, throwing his cards on the floor. "I'm going to bed."

"Goodnight," Lily said. Remus smiled sadly and turned to leave, with Peter picking up the cards and following behind him.

"Are you coming, Prongs?" the mousy looking boy called to James.

"I'll be up in a minute," James answered.

Lily looked at him curiously and got up to leave, figuring there was no reason for her and James to stay in a secluded corner of the common room alone. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Marlene watching them, but ignored it.

"I guess I'll go up too, then," she said and made to go, but James caught her wrist gently.

"Have you talked to Remus much?" he asked quietly, his eyes looking concerned.

"A bit," Lily answered, biting her lip. "Not as much as I'd like, why?"

James sighed and released her wrist. "Is he—I mean—is there—I don't know." He brought a hand to his hair and ruffled it nervously, dropping his eyes. "I know he's upset about—you know. But it seems like there's something…more than that. I was—I just wanted to know if you might know anything."

"I—" Lily began, the familiar lie of 'I don't know' already on her tongue and ready to drop. But she stopped. She could lie, it seemed that was all she did now, lie and keep secrets, but somehow she didn't want to lie to James. Not about this, anyways.

James took her hesitation the wrong way and his face turned pleading. "Lily, come on, we're friends now. You can—you should talk to me."

"I know, I know," she said, sitting back down next to him. "It's just—I do know something, but was asked to keep it a secret. If it were mine to tell I would but—" she broke off and glanced at him, begging him to understand. "I promised not to say anything. I'm sorry."

James nodded. "I understand," he said. "But," he looked at her sharply, "if it gets worse, would you—obviously I don't want you to break someone's trust but—"

"If it's necessary, I'll tell you," Lily said, glancing back at Marlene and Sirius, who were rising to go to bed. "I don't think that will happen, though."

"Right," James said, giving her a small smile. "You're a good friend, Lily."

"So are you," she said, rising once again. He didn't stop her this time.

"Goodnight, Lily," he called when she was at the bottom of the stairs.

She looked over her shoulder and saw him still sitting down, his hand in his hair. The image brought a smile to her face. "Goodnight, James," she said, before scampering up the stairs to her dormitory.

When Lily arrived in the room, she saw Marlene, sitting on the edge of Lily's bed with her arms folded.

"Hey, Marley," Lily said tiredly, taking in Marlene's red, irritated face. She hoped she wasn't going to be subjected to another rant about boys' stupidity.

Marlene didn't bother to preface her question. "What happened between the boys?" she asked sharply, her dark eyes glaring at Lily.

Lily froze. She felt her face get hot and swallowed heavily before straightening and facing the angry brunette. "I don't know," she said uneasily.

"Then why," Marlene said loudly, her face growing darker as she hopped off Lily's bed, "are you condoning this? Why are you making it okay for them to do this?"

"What are you—" Lily began, stepping back in confusion.

"He's miserable, Lily!" Marlene shrieked, her face turning scarlet. "And you just waltzed into the common room, didn't even acknowledge him, and got all chummy with his friends who won't give him the time of day—"

"I don't have to pick sides!" Lily cried, folding her arms across her chest.

Marlene glowered at the redhead, her jaw twitching much like James' did when he was upset. "It seems like you already have," she spat.

Lily opened her mouth, but Marlene turned and stalked to her own bed, drawing the curtains.

"You're a terrible liar, Evans," Sarah Carroll said snidely from across the room.

Lily clenched her jaw and jumped in bed without bothering to change into pajamas. She yanked the hangings shut with vengeance, fuming. It was so bloody unfair, she thought, that she was in the middle of this whole mess. Her jaw was still tightened painfully when she drifted asleep, dreaming of Remus' unhappy face and James' hand around her wrist, while Marlene and Alice screamed at her and Petunia danced around.

Marlene had already gone down to breakfast when Lily awoke the next morning, which was perfectly fine as far as she was concerned. She went through the day in a distracted daze, adding too much gurdyroot to her sleeping draught in potions and earning a disappointed frown from Slughorn.

"Are you alright?" James whispered as the potions master waddled away, watching her tentatively.

Lily nodded. "You should work things out with Sirius," she said, not looking at him as she hurriedly packed up her things. At the table ahead of them, Sirius was laughing raucously with Marlene. To Lily's right, she heard Remus apologizing profusely to Alice for dropping the leeches in his cauldron too early and accidentally singing both their robes.

The day did not improve. Marlene remained cold towards Lily and stayed by Sirius, throwing disapproving looks towards her friend every once in a while. Lily sighed and said nothing, silently praying that the boys would come to their senses and the whole business would be settled soon.

Lily was walking to charms, hand in hand with Connor that afternoon, when Marlene barreled towards her, eyes wide and bright with anger.

"I just heard from Sarah bloody Carroll that Snape said you were with James the first night back."

Lily's eyes went wide and Marlene shrieked in irritation. "Now don't you dare tell me you don't know, Lily Evans, what happened between the boys?"

"Hold on," Connor broke in, removing his hand from Lily's and stepping back, his eyes wide. "You were with Potter the first night back?"

"I—" Lily sputtered, unsure of which accusation to address first.

"That's why you ran out of the dormitory so quickly!" Marlene cried, smacking a hand to her forehead and staring at Lily.

"I wasn't—" Lily tried to defend herself.

"You were with Potter?" Connor cut in, now glaring at her.

"We were—"

"Where were you exactly?" he asked, his hands shaking at his side as he stared at his sputtering girlfriend.

"We were just—" Lily started quickly, trying to think of some scenario involving herself and James that wasn't highly incriminating.

"You weren't in the common room, I checked," Marlene said, her voice quaking.

"Merlin's beard," Connor said quietly, a mixture of anger and hurt playing out on his face as he stared at Lily. "I've been so bloody stupid. All this 'friends' rubbish—"

"Connor, no!" Lily pleaded, taking his hand in hers. "Please, it's not like that."

"Then what's it like, Lily?" he demanded, tearing his hand from hers. "What were you doing with him, then?"

"We—" she paused, trying to decide what to say. They were with his werewolf friend? They were trying to save Snape's life?

Connnor's jaw tightened at her hesitation and he backed away, breathing heavily.

"Connor, please, I can explain!" Lily cried desperately, moving to follow him.

"Don't bother," he snapped, turning on his heel and leaving.

Tears welled up in Lily's eyes as she watched him walk away. Beside her, Marlene continued to gape at her, shock evident in her expression.

"You and James—" the brunette began.

"You know bloody well that's not what happened," Lily bit out, willing herself not to cry.

"Then what did happen?" Marlene asked persistently. "Just tell me, Lily, what happened the first night back? Why is James doing this to Sirius?"

Lily sniffed quietly and inhaled deeply. "I can't tell you Marls," she said in a shaky voice. "I—I'm sorry, but I can't." With that she pushed past Marlene, who looked ready to launch another attack, and rushed down the corridor, choking back sobs as she went.

Author's Note: Thank you so much for all the feedback! Keep reading and reviewing, I'm having a great time writing this story! For anyone who's interested I've started posting updates about this story and some teasers, as well as answering any questions on my Jily blog on tumblr. My url is ohdeerjily