The Gryffindor common room was crowded, but James barely noticed. He sat on a sofa near the fireplace, with Lily at the other end and Marlene between them. Mary and Peter sat together across from them, Peter inching nervously towards the edge. The five were all silently turned towards a pair of armchairs next to the window overlooking the grounds; in the chairs sat Sirius and Remus, who had been holding a fervent, hushed conversation since they had returned from Hogsmeade nearly two hours ago.
James checked his watch and sat back, wondering what was being said. After the scene in the Three Broomsticks, Remus and Sirius had sat on the ground for a full minute, until James' shock wore off and he regained his sense enough to suggest they all go back to the castle. The walk back had been uneventful. Sirius and Remus lagged behind, Sirius waving Marlene away when she tried to approach. When they had reached the common room Sirius and Remus had made a beeline for the armchairs and immediately began talking quietly while the others took their seats on the sofas and waited.
James bit the inside of his cheek as he watched his two friends. Sirius seemed to be apologizing again. His grey eyes were slightly widened and his bottom lip stuck out as he whispered and made big, sweeping gestures with his hands, motioning first at himself and then at Remus.
Remus' face was more subdued than usual, but it was devoid of anger or bitterness, which was an improvement from the last time he and Sirius had talked. James grimaced at the memory of that awful conversation in the dormitory.
He watched as Remus ran a hand through his hair, the corners of his mouth pulled downwards. Sirius leaned forward slightly and laid his hands on Remus' shoulders, his face pleading like a lost puppy.
Remus' hand dropped from his hair and landed at his side. He raised his eyes to meet Sirius' gaze. He eyed Sirius warily, biting down on his lip. Slowly, he nodded his head, his mouth twitching momentarily into an almost imperceptible smile.
Sirius' face relaxed, the worried lines smoothing into relief, and he pulled Remus forward roughly into an enthusiastic, crushing hug.
James' heart swelled as he watched his friends. Maybe everything was really going to be okay and he would have his two friends back. He watched Remus' face turn pink as Sirius' mouth moved in excited apologies. James smiled.
Marlene nudged him in the rib, jarring him from his observations. "Do you think they'll really be okay?" she whispered, nodding towards Sirius and Remus.
James turned and looked down at his friend. As he did so his eyes swept fleetingly to Lily, who was watching Sirius and Remus intently from her perch at the end of the couch. His chest tightened once more at the thought that she was just as invested in his friends' happiness as he was.
James shook his head and turned back to Marlene. Her brown eyes were wide as galleons as she looked at James, her face screwed up in apprehension. He felt a surge of sympathy for her; the rift between the Marauders had been just as hard on Marlene; they were all her best friends too.
"Yeah," James said, giving her a small smile and ruffling his hair as he turned back to watch Sirius and Remus, who had broken apart and were now talking again, "I think everything's going to work out." He leaned back and put an arm around Marlene, pulling her into half a hug like he used to do when they were younger. He had missed her. She always knew how to make him laugh, and he really could use her help now that he and Lily were back on speaking terms.
"I'm glad this is finally getting patched up," Marlene said evenly, leaning back and smiling warily. "We can all be chums again now. I thought for certain this was going to be a replay of last year, when you two could barely be within a meter of each other," she gestured to James and Lily.
James bit the inside of his cheek again and chanced a glance in Lily's direction. Her attention had snapped to him and Marlene at the mention of her name and her face glowed scarlet. James had a sneaking suspicion that his own face had gone red as well.
Lily stared at her shoes and tugged at a piece of hair as she chewed her lip. Her face was screwed up in embarrassment and James felt a pang of sympathy. She looked as though she wanted the floor to swallow her up.
James meant to look away, really he did. The last thing he wanted to do was compound Lily's embarrassment by staring at her. But somehow he found himself searching her face for something. He didn't know what exactly he was looking for, just…something that would give him a clue how she felt.
Lily's eyes flitted up and met his for a second. They both looked away hastily, flushing from the memory of last year. Between them, Marlene simply rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Sirius and Remus, who were whispering again.
James angled his body away from the girls and stared at a spot in front of the fireplace as he picked absently at the sofa's upholstery. He had tried to block out any memories of last year's rift with Lily, particularly that terrible afternoon in the charms corridor last spring. Even now the echo of the words he had said, in front of a crowd no less, made James hang his head in shame. He wanted to forget how big of a prat he'd been to her. And aside from that, they had agreed to start fresh and try to be friends. He intended to honor that.
James felt Marlene's weight shift on the sofa and heard her ask Lily about a muggle song that had been playing in the dormitory earlier. He let out a small sigh and ground his teeth as he readjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose. He looked towards the window, where Sirius and Remus were caught up in their conversation. For a moment James considered walking over to them and asking to be let in the discussion. But no, he decided. This rift had to be patched up by Sirius and Remus alone. However much time it took to repair their friendship, he would give them that.
James' eyes traveled to Mary and Peter, who were engaged in a debate over chess strategies. Mary glared down at Peter, whose face had gone red.
"Are you sure that's what she said?" Marlene's voice rang out. James turned and saw her mouth wide open as she gaped at Lily, who was nodding furiously and trying to shush her.
"Yes!" the redhead hissed, pulling her friend farther down the couch and lowering her voice. "But we can't tell anyone and really as long as they're happy together—"
She was talking about Emmeline and Hestia, James realized. He had almost forgotten about that particular revelation. He sat back and leaned his head against the sofa, closing his eyes. Flashes from the night before came back to him, scenes he both wanted to hold tightly to his chest and also erase completely. Lily giggling madly as she drained her third glass of elf-made wine, Lily glaring as Sarah Carroll talked to bloody Connor Goldstein, Lily standing in the common room, slightly disheveled, and lecturing him about the difference between a walrus and a hippo.
These thoughts worried him; these little moments he and Lily seemed to share now, they brought to mind all too clearly memories of the previous summer. For the sake of beginning fresh with Lily, James had tried valiantly since they had returned to Hogwarts to forget about last summer and pretend there had never been nothing but comradeship between them. They were friends now, nothing more, nothing less. And if he didn't control his thoughts, if he let those happy, crystalline memories of that wonderful summer wash over him, it was almost enough to make him wish…
James shook his head sharply and sat up, glancing around to be sure nobody had seen him start. He and Lily were strictly friends now, he reminded himself firmly. It had taken long enough to convince her to accept his friendship. It would be foolish to hope for anything more.
He turned to face the two girls. Lily wore a gentle smile and she was speaking quietly to Marlene. James listened closely and caught a few words, which sounded very similar to what Lily had told him last night.
"…there really are lots of people like that, Mar, it just seems that they don't come forward in the wizarding world…"
James smiled and moved down the couch so he was right next to Marlene. She felt him move and whipped around, her face screwed up in shock.
"Did you know about this?" she demanded. Behind her, Lily raised her eyebrows and suppressed a grin. James felt the corners of his own mouth quirk up as Marlene stared at him incredulously.
"I just found out about it last night," he said, shrugging. He caught Lily's eye over Marlene's shoulder and his smile grew even broader. "It's not a big deal, Mar. I mean, really, there are lots of people—"
"Oh, you're full of it, Potter!" Lily cried, laughing as she tossed her hair over her shoulder. "You were more astonished last night when you found out than she is!"
"But what do you mean there's lots of people like this," Marlene said, refusing to be distracted. "I've never heard of a real person—"
"I've never heard of a gay wizard either, but there are plenty of gay muggles," Lily shrugged, letting a smile slip through as she watched Marlene's expression morph from shock to confusion.
"But no one ever—"
"No one ever talks about it, I know," Lily said in a bored voice, rolling her eyes. "This one," she gestured towards James, "told me all about that last night. But listen, I'm serious, it's really not that big of a deal, alright? And we're not supposed to know so we can't just go around asking Emmeline about it—"
"How did you find out?" Marlene asked quickly, a wicked grin appearing on her face. "You didn't catch them did you? Oh, were they in that one broom closet on the third floor—"
"No, I didn't catch them, you git!" Lily hissed, smacking Marlene on the shoulder. "Cynthia told me!"
"Peter's Cynthia?"
"She's a Hufflepuff," James cut in, nodding authoritatively. "Apparently there have been rumors about Hestia for a bit."
"Fancy that," Marlene said, leaning back heavily against the couch. "I never—"
"Oy, Prongs, Wormtail!" Sirius bellowed from his seat by the window. James turned and saw him and Remus standing, looking tired but wearing small smiles. "We're going up to the dormitory," Sirius called in a tone which clearly implied James and Peter were expected to join.
James looked at Peter and nodded before rising off the sofa. He ruffled Marlene's hair and received a piercing glare. "Duty calls," he said, waving at the girls.
"Tell Remus he has to sit by me at breakfast tomorrow," Marlene said, smoothing her hair. "I haven't properly talked to him in ages."
Lily snapped her attention to Marlene at this, and James watched as she furrowed her brow and pursed her lips.
"Maybe because you've been too busy snogging Sirius," James replied evenly, raising an eyebrow and looking away from Lily, who snorted at his remark and relaxed, leaning back against the sofa.
Marlene's cheeks turned pink and her brown eyes narrowed threateningly. "Careful, Jamesy, she said. "Remember I haven't yet had the chance to show Lily that wonderful photo album my mum's got on the mantle at home."
The smile slid off James' face. Lily sat up straighter and looked between him and Marlene, her eyes shining brightly as she laughed. "What photo album is this?" she asked, smirking at him.
"Nothing," James said quickly, running a hand through his hair. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Peter standing at the base of the spiral stairs, waiting for James to join him so they could go up to the dormitory. "Really, it's nothing, don't worry about it. Marlene's just trying to make it look like—"
"When James and I were about three I would always want to play dress up," Marlene said loudly, talking over James and turning to Lily with a mischievous grin. "I had a bin full of my mum's old dresses and it was boring to play alone, so when James and his mum would come over—"
"We were three!" James exclaimed, glaring daggers at Marlene as a red flush crept up his neck. "And I can't believe my mum took pictures of it—"
Lily threw her head back and let out a peal of laughter. "You'll have to show it to me when I visit over Christmas holidays," she said to Marlene, her shoulders still shaking from mirth. "That's something I have to see."
"Right, well, if you two are done taking the mickey out of me," James huffed.
"Oh, you know it's only for fun, Jamesy," Marlene said airily, wrapping an arm around Lily's shoulders.
"Of course, Jamesy," Lily added, grinning at his scowl as she put extra emphasis on the nickname. "You know we would never seriously make fun of you for something like dressing up in Marlene's mum's old dresses." The two girls smiled sweetly up at him, their eyes widened innocently.
James glared at them and made a rude hand gesture. "Well I'm going before you come up with any other brilliant plans to embarrass me," he muttered.
"Goodnight," the girls chirped, giggling madly as James turned on his heel and strode towards Peter, who seemed to be having a hard time keeping a straight face.
"Not a word," James grumbled as they ran up the stairs. His face still felt warm and he knew his ears must have gone red. Behind him, Peter stifled a chuckle and James ground his teeth. He was going to kill Marlene tomorrow.
He and Peter walked tentatively into the dormitory, unsure of what kind of scene they would find. To James' relief, Remus and Sirius were both sitting on the floor, looking a bit uncomfortable but happy nonetheless.
"So, everything's okay?" James asked, running a hand through his hair and looking between his two friends.
Sirius gave a tight lipped smile and looked nervously at Remus, who looked up and bit his lip. "It's starting to be," he answered, meeting Sirius' eye and smiling. "It—I told Padfoot—we're family. You lot are my family and family forgives each other."
James nodded, his eyes travelling to Sirius, whose face had split into an enormous grin. He threw an arm around Remus and pulled him into a hug. James looked over at Peter and caught his eye. Without a word, both boys walked to their friends and sat down beside them.
"We really are a family," Peter said quietly as Sirius released Remus. "I mean, we're all like brothers."
"And we'll always find a way to forgive each other," Remus said, glancing affectionately around. He turned to Sirius. "Even when someone fucks up—"
"Royally fucks up," Sirius mumbled, hanging his head.
"Even when someone royally fucks up," Remus amended with a wry smile, "I—well—I already said this, Padfoot, but just watching your family in the Three Broomsticks—"
"They're not my family," Sirius muttered darkly. "I have no place there."
"You have a place with us," James said firmly, reaching out and putting a hand on Sirius' shoulder.
Sirius raised his head and looked first at James, then at Remus, and finally at Peter. His eyes glistened. "I'm so sorry," he said. "Really, I know I've already said it but—" he shook his head slowly and turned to Remus. "Like you said, you lot are my family. And it's not like how it is for the rest of you. You have your families—your real families at home—I—I only have you. And the fact I almost lost that—for a prank—"
"Padfoot, stop," Remus said gently. "I'm not going to tell you it's all better now, because, well, it isn't, and you know that. I still—I don't know how long it will take me to trust you again. But, watching you in Hogsmeade, it just made me realize—you're my brother. And we can work this out."
Sirius nodded, grimacing. "You're already a step ahead of my parents," he said. "They never gave me a second chance."
"Well you're loads better than them," Peter said confidently.
Sirius swept a piece of hair from his face. "Thanks, Pete," he said. "I dunno about that, but thanks."
"He's right," Remus said. "What you did was horrible, Padfoot, but you regretted it. You apologized. That means something."
"And you really are worth twelve of your parents," James chimed in, his eyes scanning his best friend's face.
Sirius' grimace faded and his mouth quirked up into a small smile. "Marauder's honor?" he asked, with an echo of his old bluster.
"Marauder's honor," James grinned. Remus and Peter repeated the sentiment and the four boys fell quiet. James' chest felt lighter than it had in weeks as his eyes swiveled between his friends, together for the first time in weeks. He had missed Sirius greatly, though he wouldn't have dreamed of showing it. Having his best friend back, having the foursome back intact, everything felt right.
"So, Prongs," Sirius said, perking up and grinning slyly at him. "You and Lilybean seem to be spending a lot of time together now."
"Oh," James mumbled, his ears flaming up again. "Not really. I mean, yeah, I see her a lot more now but it's not—I mean I don't think—we're just, you know, in class and—"
Sirius guffawed and Remus and Peter chuckled while James glared furiously at them. "I'm rethinking calling you gits my brothers," he pouted.
"This is what brothers do, Jamesy," Sirius said, grinning as James scowled at the use of the nickname.
"Well let's talk about you and Marlene then," he said.
Sirius was unfazed. "We've gotten closer," he said, grinning. Beside him, Remus' smile faded somewhat.
"Gotten closer?" James choked out, glaring at Sirius. "That's one my bloody best friends, you prat, and I saw you at Slughorn's party and if you're just—"
"Prongs, relax," Sirius said, his voice dropping into a more serious tone. His grin vanished and he sat up a bit straighter and glanced around, as though nervous someone was eavesdropping. "I—I really like her."
"Are you two shagging?" Peter asked, his eyes wide.
James elbowed him in the side and Peter yelped, glaring at him. "It's just a question," he snapped. "And I think it's a fair one."
"Still," James said, scowling, "that's Marls you're talking about."
"It is a fair question," Remus argued, nodding his head slowly and chewing on his lip. He turned towards Sirius and raised an eyebrow expectantly.
A suspicious red flush had crept up Sirius' cheeks. "No," he said, a bit defensively.
James relaxed and uncurled his hands, which he had unconsciously balled into fists.
"I don't just want it to be about snogging or anything," Sirius continued. "I mean, I know what it looks like, but honestly," he glanced up, his eyes slightly glazed, "if I had it my way she'd be my bloody girlfriend. She just didn't want you lot catching wind of it and trying to break my arm or something—"
"Smart girl," James muttered, cracking a smile against his will. Marlene knew him well.
"She's wonderful though," Sirius said. "I mean, really—"
"We know," Remus said, sounding a bit irritated. "We've all been friends with her since first year, James long before that. We know she's great."
"Please spare us the details about your snogs," James added, already cringing at the mental images of his two friends that the conversation had produced.
"Well, speaking of birds who aren't our girlfriends but we wish were," Sirius said quickly, turning back to James, who groaned. "Stop trying to change the subject and tell us what's happening with you and Lily."
"Nothing's happening," James grumbled. "We just decided to start over and become friends, that's all. It's old news, really."
"Friends?" Sirius asked, waggling an eyebrow.
James picked up a fallen pillow off the ground and hurled it at him. Sirius ducked, laughing.
"We're just friends," James reiterated, feeling his face heat up again under the questioning. "And I don't need you putting me through a bloody interrogation—"
"I was just curious," Sirius shrugged, grinning at James' obvious embarrassment.
Beside him, Remus cracked a smile. "It was a little strange at first," he agreed, raising his eyebrows. "One day you two can barely have a civil conversation and the next you're partners in potions."
"And whispering to each other all throughout Slughorn's party," Peter added.
James gave them all a dirty look and opened his mouth to say they hadn't been whispering all throughout the party, Lily had been explaining the Emmeline and Hestia situation to him. Sirius, however, had grown thoughtful.
"Wait a moment," he said slowly, his grey eyes lighting up as they looked at James. "This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with her break up with Goldstein—"
"You mean the break up Marlene caused, not me," James shot back, folding his arms.
Sirius scoffed. "Come off it, Prongs. You can't honestly believe you had nothing to do with that."
"I didn't have anything to do with it!" James insisted, his face burning. He had told himself the same thing ever since the break-up had happened; it had happened because Lily and Goldstein just weren't meant to be together. It had absolutely nothing to do with him.
Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "Whatever you say," he acquiesced, holding up his hands in mock surrender, though his expression clearly said he didn't believe him. "It just seems a bit uncanny."
"Nothing's going to happen with me and Lily," James said through gritted teeth. "Even if I wanted—it doesn't—she's made it very clear that we're just friends. And I had a hard enough time getting her to agree to that so if any of you wankers muck it up I will hex you."
Sirius smirked and shook his head but said nothing. Remus looked amused but turned his attention quickly to Peter.
"We haven't heard much from you, Pete," Remus said. "How's it going with Cynthia?"
Peter's face went scarlet but he grinned. "It's going good," he answered, looking very pleased with himself. "After you lot," he looked pointedly at James, "left us at the party I asked if she'd like to sit with me at the next quidditch match and she said yes. And I only saw her for a bit this afternoon but she looked like she had a nice time."
"At least one of us is making definite progress," Sirius said, clapping Peter on the back. "Way to go, mate."
"I'm going to ask her to go with me on the next Hogsmeade trip," Peter said, looking around as though for permission. "The whole thing, not just meet up for a bit."
"Sounds like a great idea," Remus said sagely, nodding his head. "She seems nice."
"She's lovely," Peter smiled, his eyes glazing over as Sirius' had done earlier. "She's pretty and sweet and she thinks I'm funny! And it was just us for the last bit at Slughorn's party, since everyone left except those Ravenclaws, and we just talked—"
James' mind wandered as Peter droned on about how wonderful his sort-of-girlfriend was. He remembered the days he and Lily had sat out in the grass, talking for hours about anything. If he concentrated hard enough, he could see the whole thing quite clearly: her shoulders sprinkled with freckles and her red hair fanned out in the grass, her knees knocking into his as she pointed out oddly shaped clouds and told him stories about the summers she and her sister had spent at the playground. The memory brought a smile to his face; he could almost feel the breeze rustle his hair, could almost smell the unique odor of Cokeworth in the summer, fresh grass and flowers mixed with acrid smoke, boiled in the humid air.
"Prongs?"
His chest welled up with the familiar weight as he imagined Lily's smile, her wide, carefree grin that made him feel like he was sitting on a cloud.
"Prongs?"
James shook his head, snapping himself out of the daydream. He looked around and saw Remus looking at him expectantly.
"Er, yeah?" he asked, ruffling his hair and hoping they didn't ask what he'd been thinking about.
"I asked if we should all try to find dates for the next Hogsmeade weekend, so we can keep Pete company without ruining his day with Cynthia," Remus said patiently, with the air of one who had repeated himself too many times already.
"Er, yeah, sure," James said absently, still trying to dispel the image of Lily lying lazily in the grass. "Sounds brilliant."
"Good," Peter breathed, looking relieved at the prospect of having his friends with him. "I'd be worried I would muck it up somehow."
"You'll do fine, Pete," Sirius said. "Prongs and I will be extra prattish so you come off looking better."
"Yeah," James chimed in, grinning. "We'll muck up our dates and by the end of it Cynthia will think you're one of the best blokes at Hogwarts, by comparison."
"That sounds like a terrible idea," Remus said dryly. "But don't worry, Pete," he added, giving Peter a sympathetic smile. "From what I've seen Cynthia really likes you, I'm sure it will go well."
"Well, fellas," Sirius said, rising to his feet. "I don't know about you but I'm positively knackered."
"Me too," Peter said, getting to his feet and flopping onto his bed. "Too much happened today."
They all agreed, though it was silently implied they were rather okay with the events which had transpired. Quietly, James changed into his pajamas and got into bed. He looked around the dormitory and felt a surge of warmth towards his three friends. Things might not be entirely better, but, James reflected as he drew the curtains around his bed and pulled the blankets around him, the Marauders were back.
The next day in potions James strode into the dungeons laughing with Sirius, a welcome change from the last few weeks. He slid into his usual spot and took out his book before he noticed Lily. She was not sitting in her usual seat next to him, but had moved up a row so she now sat next to Marlene. Beside him, James heard Sirius grunt in surprise and knew he was not happy with the new arrangement either.
"Er, Lily?" James called out.
She turned around and raised her eyebrows, smiling. "Yes?" she asked.
"Why aren't you sitting in your usual seat?" James asked, his eyebrows furrowing. He hoped the question hadn't made him sound whiney, or worse, offended. He bit his lip as he saw Marlene turn around as well, waggling her eyebrows and poorly suppressing a smirk.
Lily's eyebrows traveled further up her forehead and she looked around at Marlene and then back at James and Sirius. "Oh—" she stammered, her face turning red. "I just—I figured since you two are talking now and everything that you would want to—you know, work together—and there wouldn't be a reason for us to be partners anymore."
James frowned and turned to Sirius, who also looked irritated.
"I rather liked the old arrangement," Sirius said. He caught Marlene's eye and winked at her. James saw her blush and looked away pointedly. The less he saw of Sirius and Marlene's interactions, the better.
Lily bit her lip and looked between Marlene and Sirius, who were both doing an abominable job of hiding their grins.
"Well, I suppose we can keep the old partners," she said slowly, her eyes on the table in front of her. "If—if that's alright with everyone."
"Sounds great to me," Sirius said quickly, hitching his bag over his shoulder and striding over to Marlene, both of them wearing absurd grins.
Lily looked up and her green eyes locked on James', waiting for him to answer before she moved.
"It's more than alright with me," he said, flashing a quick grin in her direction and mussing his hair.
Lily gave him a small smile and nodded before hurriedly collecting her bag and moving back to her seat. She sat down and glanced over at James and had opened her mouth to say something when Slughorn burst through the door.
"Good morning, folks!" the potions master rumbled good-naturedly as he walked to the front of the room. "I trust you're all ready to begin working again after a weekend full of festivities." He beamed as he looked around the room before launching into a speech, at which point James' attention began to wander.
In front of him, Marlene and Sirius were already passing notes and giggling. He pretended not to notice, though when he glanced at Remus, he saw him staring rather forlornly at the two. James frowned and studied his friend, whose forehead was creased as he observed the couple in front of him.
James felt a something poke him sharply in the side and he jumped back, biting back a yelp. Lily stood beside him, holding a quill which she had just jabbed his ribcage with.
"What was that for?" James demanded, rubbing the spot where the quill had made contact.
"Pay attention," Lily whispered, smirking as she replaced the quill on the table. "This potion's rather difficult and it actually takes two people to brew it so you need to know what you're doing."
"You could have just said something," James hissed. "There was no need to use the quill."
"Stop being so dramatic," Lily said, rolling her eyes and tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "I barely touched you."
"Tell that to my rib."
She looked as though she were about to laugh, but quickly straightened and looked at him sternly. "Stop distracting me," she muttered. "I've never heard of this potion before, we need to pay attention if we're going to brew it correctly."
"What is it?" James asked, turning his attention to the blackboard behind Slughorn, which was covered in writing.
"Everlasting Elixir," Lily replied, taking out a piece of parchment and hurriedly scrawling a few disjointed words on it.
"Oh," James said, relaxing. "They're not too bad."
Lily looked at him sharply. "How do you know?" she asked.
"My dad worked with potions a lot," he shrugged. "He's told me a bit over the years."
Lily didn't answer, but bit her lip and turned her attention back to Slughorn, who was rambling about the importance of accurately counting stirs.
James continued to tune his teacher out and concentrated on Lily. She was bent over the table, furiously scribbling notes on her parchment, adding lots of arrows and lines which he supposed to be shorthand, but looked like gibberish. He frowned at the irritated expression on her face and wondered if he ought not to have said anything about his father. Though why something like that would bother her, he didn't know.
"You have the rest of the hour to work on your potions," Slughorn called out, having finished his lecture. "When you get to step eight, place your cauldrons by the back wall where they'll stew until next class."
"Right," Lily said, turning towards him briskly and shoving the parchment into the corner of the table. Her copy of Advanced Potion Making was already open and James saw she had scratched a few notes into the margin as well.
"It says here first thing to do is to boil the dragon blood. I'll measure it out, you start the fire." She pulled her potions kit forward and took out her set of scales and a vial of dark, murky looking liquid.
"That's odd," Lily remarked, quirking an eyebrow. "My kit's already opened—I thought I made sure to close it last time—"
James shrugged and Lily continued her task. She paused for a moment and tied her long hair back before setting about carefully pouring the thick blood onto her scales, her eyebrows knitted together in concentration.
James retrieved the cauldron and with a flick of his wand ignited the small fire beneath it. He watched Lily scrunch up her face and raise her hand towards her face as she examined the scale to be sure her measurement was exact. After a few runs through the squint-and-pour cycle, she must have concluded that it was good enough and delicately poured the viscous, dark red liquid into the cauldron.
"While it boils we have to stir it four times counterclockwise and one time clockwise every fifty seven seconds," she said, pushing the sleeve of her robes up and checking her watch. "I'll do that, I don't trust you to keep the time correctly. You cut up the dandelion root and goosegrass. The book says how much of each we need."
James nodded and set to work, smiling to himself. Lily was so clearly in her element when issuing potion-making instructions. He wished he could just sit back and watch her. James checked the book and chopped the specified amounts of dandelion roots and goosegrass before setting them aside where Lily could easily reach them when she needed to. He watched in fascination as she stared intently at her watch, her lips counting out the seconds and her wand pointed at the cauldron.
When the blood had boiled Lily added the chopped plants and waved her wand over the mixture, muttering an incantation James didn't manage to catch, but which turned the contents of the cauldron a murky grey.
"We need to let it sit for three and a half minutes and then add a griffin claw," Lily murmured. She tugged her potions kit toward her and began rifling around, eyeing her watch every few seconds.
"I thought—I had—" she muttered half to herself as she rummaged through the kit, shoving vials and pots aside.
"Do you need me to get something from the supply cupboard?" James asked, eyeing her irritated expression.
"No, I'll get it," Lily sighed, snapping the kit shut. "I don't know why—I could've sworn I had them in there."
She walked around the table and over to the supply cupboard at the front of the room, where Slughorn kept extra ingredients and books. Her long ponytail floated behind her as she walked and James was reminded again of how her hair looked spread out in the grass.
To his annoyance, another figure converged on the supply cupboard at the exact moment Lily did. James' lip curled in distaste as Snape sauntered over, eyeing Lily nervously. She either didn't notice the slytherin or chose to ignore him as she opened the cupboard without a word before rummaging through it.
Snape leaned in and put a hand on her shoulder, at which point Lily twitched and stepped away, her face hard. James felt a jolt of satisfaction as he watched her face twist into a glower. Snape's lips moved and he angled himself towards Lily, turning his shoulder so that James could not make out the words he said.
Lily responded, not bothering to hide the anger present on her face. She turned back to the cupboard and snatched a jar from the back before stomping back to the table, leaving Snape staring after her.
James' eyes connected with Snape's and even from across the room, the loathing in the other boy's glare was unmistakable. James cocked an eyebrow and his mouth twisted into a sneer as the slytherin scowled at him. Snape turned around and shut the cupboard door before sulking back to his table; he hadn't even gotten anything from the cupboard.
Lily returned to the table brandishing the jar of griffin claws and mumbling a string of curses under her breath as she stared at her watch. She took the top off the jar and extracted a claw from it, counting down the time and then dropping it neatly in the cauldron where it dissolved with a hiss of steam.
"Er, everything alright?" James asked quietly, moving towards her and bending low so she could hear him. "I saw Snape—"
"I don't want to talk about him," Lily snapped, flinging her potions kit open and taking out a wad of silverweed and shoving it at him. "This needs to be chopped."
"Alright," James said, pulling the silverweed towards him without question. Beside him, Lily huffed and began counting runespoor eggs, her eyes blazing angrily. James looked down at the pile of thin, tangled silver plants Lily had given him. "Lily," he began tentatively, not wanting her to yell at him. "Er, you know we don't need all this, right?"
"Just cut up however much we need," she said quietly, keeping her eyes on the eggs. "I'll put the rest back after."
"Right," James said, picking up his knife and cutting into the plants. They worked in silence for a few minutes, with James carefully cutting and then measuring the silverweed and Lily crushing the runespoor eggs. He noticed the tight line of her lips, and the way her mouth trembled. She didn't pick her eyes up from her work once.
"You shouldn't let him get to you," James whispered, glaring across the room at Snape, who was bent over his cauldron.
"I could say the same thing to you," Lily shot back, a challenging note in her voice.
James raised his eyebrows and looked over the table at her. A few hairs had escaped her ponytail and stuck out a bit behind her ears, curling from the steam emanating from the cauldron. And her eyes—James' stomach tightened as he took in the expression of her eyes.
"I didn't mean—I know I don't have much credibility here," he began. Lily's eyes snapped to him and he saw them dance dangerously. He was pushing his luck; he knew it, but he kept going anyways. "But really, Lily, someone like you shouldn't be worrying about a git like that."
"What does that mean, someone like me?" she asked, narrowing her eyes. James was shocked sparks hadn't shot out of them.
He paused, his mouth hanging open dumbly. Why did he say that? Shit. Shit, shit, shit. "Er," he said quickly, searching for an answer that was both platonic and flattering. "Just, you know, you're so good. And just—kind, and warmhearted. And he's—"
"Best friends with evil pricks who want to join up with You Know Who," Lily finished for him, the anger leaving her voice. She seemed to deflate in front of him, her shoulders sagging and mouth turning down as she stared at the pile of half crushed eggs in front of her. To James' horror, her bottom lip began trembling as though she might cry.
Hesitantly, James reached out and put a hand tentatively on her shoulder. Lily tensed slightly but didn't shake him off.
"I know he was your friend—" he began.
"Best friend," Lily interjected, her green eyes raising to meet his. They had lost the fire which had filled them a moment ago. Now they were clouded over, the corners turning down. She looked almost like a small child who was being punished and didn't know what for.
"Right," James muttered, swallowing back the comment that immediately rose to his lips. "Best friend. But, Lily, he's just trying to wind you up and you can't let him. You're much better than that."
"I know," she said ruefully, twirling a piece of hair around her finger. "It's just difficult—"
"It's always going to be a bit difficult," James said softly, quelling the urge to take her hand. "You can't have that much—history—with another person and not have it be difficult when you have to—er—part ways."
Lily swallowed, her eyes flicking away from his and wandering around the room. They settled on a point over his shoulder and James didn't even have to turn around to know who she was focusing on.
"I suppose we should get back to work," Lily said, her voice trembling slightly but returned to its normal pitch. She shook his hand off her shoulder turned away from him, resuming her task of crushing the runespoor eggs. James watched as her hands shook.
"Everything will be alright, Lilybean," he said, taking her elbow gently.
Lily froze for a second and then relaxed, not looking at him. She continued to crush the eggs. "I hope so," she murmured.
There was a pause, filled by a silence which seemed to weigh on James' chest. There were so many things he wanted to tell her, and so many things he wanted to protect her from.
"Would you mind measuring the neem oil?" Lily asked suddenly, thrusting a vial filled with an odd orange liquid that vaguely resembled honey at him. "We'll be needing it pretty soon."
"Er, yeah," James said quickly, taking the vial from her and picking up his scales. "Whatever you need."
James began measuring the oil. Beside him, Lily continued crushing the runespoor eggs, beating them to dust with her mortar and pestle. Her eyes burned with unshed tears and her chest felt heavy. James' reassuring words replayed over in her mind, yet even those were not sufficient to mask the ugliness of her encounter with Severus.
He had been waiting for her to go to the supply cupboard, she was almost sure of it. Lily clenched her jaw and pounded the eggs as she allowed her mind to turn the memory over.
As she stood at the supply cupboard she heard him approach but chose to ignore it, hoping to simply find the griffin claws and leave without making a scene.
Of course, that was entirely too much to hope for.
He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, as though he were trying to claim her in front of everyone.
She twitched in displeasure before sidestepping him, wishing to create distance between them without resorting to nastiness.
Severus had never been good at hiding his own displeasure.
He leaned closer to her and Lily scowled, grinding her teeth as she rooted around the cupboard for the blasted griffin claws, which she couldn't find anywhere.
"Lily, I'm sorry," Severus whispered quickly, leaning closer so his pleading black eyes filled her view. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. Forgive me, be my friend again. I miss you. Please, you have to—"
"I don't have to do anything," she retorted, keeping her eyes on the shelf in front of her, looking for those stupid goddamn bloody griffin claws. Anger and sadness and revulsion all coursed through her and in her mind she heard an echo of that awful, awful day last year.
Severus opened his mouth. Lily glared, not even trying to hide her anger.
"Believe it or not, Snivellus," she bit out, noting with some pleasure that he paled at her use of the nickname, "even filthy mudbloods like me are allowed to do what we like. I don't have to listen to you."
Finally, she found the jar labeled Claws of Griffin in the back corner of the shelf. Without a word, Lily snatched it and turned away. Fury raced through her but she forced herself to keep moving, not deigning to look back at her old best friend as she stalked back to her seat.
The freshness of the memory and her renewed anger at Severus ripped through Lily like a blade. Where did he get off cornering her like that, asking for forgiveness when she had made it abundantly clear that she could never condone the people he was friends with, the deeds he engaged in? How could he possibly expect her to forget everything he had done just because he told her he missed her? What right did he have—
A tap on her shoulder broke her train of thought and Lily turned to see James looking at her with concern, one eyebrow raised. He dropped his eyes and gestured towards the eggs in front of her, which now had the texture of sand.
"Er, we have to add those in a few seconds," he said.
"Right," Lily muttered, a flush staining her cheeks. She had almost let her thoughts ruin her concentration.
"I'll just—" James mumbled, reaching out scraping the powdered eggs into the cauldron, which began to bubble.
"That's all we have to do today, I think," he said, bending over his book and running a finger down the line of instructions. "Slughorn said to only go through step eight because it has to stew."
"He did," Lily said, straightening up and shaking her head. She glanced over the instructions one last time, just to be sure they hadn't missed anything. When she was assured they had not missed a step, or added anything wrong, she took out her wand and swished it, levitating the cauldron into the back corner of the room. When it landed gently on the dungeon floor she waved her wand one more time and a small sign appeared in front of it, with her and James' names on it.
She turned to James and found him still staring at her, that disconcerting look of worry in his hazel eyes. Lily cleared her throat awkwardly and forced out a small smile.
"So, er, I think we did a pretty good job on that."
"What?" he asked, looking taken aback by her sudden return to good-humor, however forced. "Er—" he paused for a moment. Lily saw him working to rearrange his face into a more neutral expression. "Yeah," he ran a hand through his hair and gave her a half-hearted grin. "It seems like we make a pretty good team, Evans."
"I suppose we do," Lily agreed, letting out an earnest chuckle. "Who'd have thought it."
"Well," James shrugged, following her example and relaxing slightly, "I'm not too surprised. I always thought we'd be a pretty formidable pair, once you came around and agreed to be within five feet of me."
Lily smiled at him, a small, genuine smile with her green eyes lit up. "And to think all last year I didn't know what I was missing," she said lightly, letting her hair down and shaking it out of her face.
"We were both pretty stupid last year," James said, keeping his tone light but looking pointedly at her.
Lily flushed and turned away. The mention of last year dropped a blanket of tension over them. He might not have even meant anything by the comment, she thought, raking her fingers through her hair and making a show of packing up her potions kit. He could have meant it in the most superficial sense.
But then again, maybe not.
"I suppose we were," she said quietly.
Lily felt James' eyes snap to her but kept her gaze on the table in front of her. She heard him draw in a breath and for a moment it seemed as though he were going to say something else.
Before he got it out Slughorn dismissed them and the loud scraping of chairs and stampede of feet on the stone floor ruined any semblance of a moment between them. With a sigh, Lily grabbed her bag and threw it over her shoulder before walking quickly out of the room, leaving James behind her.
"Lily?" she turned and found Remus falling in step beside her as she hurried down the corridor.
"Yeah?" she asked, trying to sound enthusiastic.
"Er, would you mind meeting me in the library later?" Remus asked. His eyes seemed glazed as he stared at his feet and she noticed the corners of his mouth tug down. "I—er—it's okay if you're busy. I just wanted to—talk."
"Of course," she said, smiling. "Would after dinner work?"
"That'd be brilliant," Remus answered as they reached the transfiguration classroom. He gave her a small, forced smile and held the door open before walking in behind her.
Lily found herself distracted through the entire lesson. Even in light of her curiosity about Remus and whatever he wanted to talk about, her mind buzzed over her encounter with Severus in potions.
Her anger towards Severus still simmered, but an overwhelming sadness eclipsed it in transfiguration when she watched Remus and Sirius partner up for the first time in months. She watched Remus wave his wand and glare at the table in front of him as Sirius laughed and corrected his wand movement gently.
She and Severus used to be like that, she thought. Well, they never really laughed together, but they would help each other and support each other. And really, that was the important thing. Severus had been there for her when nobody else was. He had been her best friend for six years.
And really, Lily thought desolately as she tried and failed again to conjur a snail, if Remus could forgive Sirius, she ought to be able to forgive Severus.
Right?
"Let me see your progress, Miss Evans," McGonagall's crisp voice rang out.
Lily started and peered up to see the transfiguration teacher looming over her, her mouth in a thin line.
"Er, right," Lily said sheepishly, turning back to towards her desk and waving her wand. "Videtur cochlea," she said, her mind still on Severus.
To her horror, a finger nail appeared on the desk, clattering against the wood until it settled.
"Well," McGonagall sniffed, raising her eyebrows. "It seems you would benefit from a few extra homework questions, Miss Evans. I expect the five from page seventy four of your book to be handed in next lesson, along with your essay."
"Yes, Professor," Lily mumbled, looking ashamedly at the floor and feeling her face heat up.
McGonagall swept away and Lily turned dejectedly back to her desk, descending once again into her unhappy musings.
McGonagall dismissed them with the order to practice before the next class and Lily snatched her books and hurried from the classroom, hoping to avoid her friends who would surely ask why she looked so downtrodden.
She had barely stepped foot out of the classroom when a hand caught her elbow gently. Lily turned and saw James peering down at her, his face screwed up in concern.
"Are you alright?" he asked quietly, bending low as he walked so no one else would hear. "Is it because of transfiguration? Because you know, conjuring's difficult and if you need help I could always—"
"No, it's not transfiguration," Lily muttered, turning away and hoping James would take the hint and leave her alone.
He didn't. He watched her for another moment before his lip curled up in distaste. "Is it about Snape?" he asked, an edge now apparent in his voice. "Because, really, Lily, I meant what I said earlier, you're too good to worry about a git like him—"
"No, it's not him either," Lily said in a strained voice, moving her arm so it was no longer in James' grasp. "I just—I'm not feeling very well today, that's all," she said hurriedly, wishing he would quit looking at her like he knew she was lying.
He probably did know she was lying, but Lily ignored this thought.
"If I can help just let me know," he whispered finally, before moving away and letting her walk alone.
Throughout lunch and dinner Lily remained quiet, picking disinterestedly at her food and evading questions from Marlene and Alice regarding her black mood.
After dinner Lily was exhausted and would have liked nothing more than to go up to her dormitory and sleep, even though it was barely seven o'clock. But she had promised to meet Remus and so Lily trudged down to the library, her book bag hanging heavily from her shoulder and her brain feeling like a fried egg. She spotted Remus quickly, bent over a book at a table in the corner.
"Hi," she said when she approached, dropping her bag onto the tabletop and sliding into the chair across from him.
"Hey," Remus replied, glancing up at her. He looked tired, Lily noted, though not as unhappy as he had been during the fight with Sirius.
"So what's going on?" Lily asked, too tired for subtlety.
Remus sighed and closed his book, pushing it to the other side of the table. He propped his elbows on the surface and held his head in his hands, staring at the floor for a moment.
"Remus?" Lily asked, a bit alarmed at his moroseness. "Is everything—"
"It's killing me, Lily," he said in a choked voice, still staring at a spot on the floor. "Every time I see them. I just—" he trailed off and sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes with the bottoms of his hands.
"Remus," Lily began, struggling to come up with comforting words. "I'm so sorry, I—"
"You can't help, though," he said. "I know. I—I'm sorry for dumping all this on you it's just—too much sometimes and—and I don't know what to do about it—"
"Don't apologize," Lily said firmly, taking one of his hands gently. "It's not your fault. We can't help who we care about."
"But it shouldn't be this hard," Remus insisted, lowering his hands and looking at her with wide, shadowed eyes. "It shouldn't—damnit, it shouldn't be anywhere near this hard!"
"Remus," Lily said, her face crinkling sympathetically. Her thoughts ran to Petunia, to James, to Severus. "It's hard for everyone. It's never easy caring about another person—especially when you've known them for as long as you've known Marley—"
"It's easy for Sirius," Remus said bitterly. "It's easy for him because she feels the same way! It's easy for her—"
"It's not easy for her," Lily murmured. "I don't know very much about her relationship with Sirius—I don't think anyone does. But Remus, when you were—er—not on good terms with each other, she was miserable. She was worried about you and missed you and—"
"But she'll never feel the same way—"
"She bloody well might have if you'd just given her the chance to instead of labeling yourself as unfit for another person," Lily snapped, dropping his hand as a wave of irritation crashed over her.
Remus stared, his face frozen in shock. "It—you don't—it's not the same—" he sputtered, raking a hand through his hair.
"Really?" Lily "Look, Remus, I'm sorry that she's with Sirius and not with you. I'm sorry you have to watch it every day and I'm sorry that it hurts you but for Merlin's sake!" She leaned back and ran a hand through her own hair. "You can't pretend you don't have a little bit of responsibility for this!"
Remus' face grew hard at Lily's outburst. His hands dropped to his sides and he sat back. "You know I couldn't have told her, Lily," he said coldly. "I thought you realized—"
"Give me one good reason why you couldn't tell her," Lily demanded, her voice matching his in iciness. "You told me and did I leave and say I never wanted to talk to you again? No, I didn't. And you've known Marlene for much longer, you're arguably much closer with her than you are with me, and you know that she would never walk out on your friendship because of that, Remus, so stop using it as an excuse to skirt around your feelings."
"So, what, it's all my fault?" Remus asked, an angry flush creeping up his neck as he stared at Lily. "I'm the one to blame here for not wanting to risk losing one of my best friends?"
"That's not what I meant and you know it," Lily hissed, leaning back and folding her arms across her chest, glaring.
Across the table, Remus seemed to lose his steam. The flush on his face receded and sucked the remaining color out of his features as well, leaving him pale. The hard line of his mouth softened and the corners turned down. His grey eyes widened slightly and all at once he put his head in his hands.
"Do you think I'm a coward?" he asked in a small voice.
Lily's heart sank. She didn't regret her words, but the sympathy she felt for her friend at the moment far outweighed her annoyance as she looked at the tired, battered boy in front of her who was so full of fear it seemed to crush him.
"No, I don't think you're a coward," she said quietly. She uncrossed her arms, reaching out and putting a hand on his shoulder, just as James had done to her earlier. "I know it's hard, Remus, but sitting here trying to drown yourself in self-pity—it's not the answer."
"I know," he murmured, his voice muffled by his hands. "I want them both to be happy. I—love—them both—so much, Lily." He raised his head, his eyes wet and ringed with red, puffy skin. "I just—sometimes it's too much."
"I understand," Lily said, her mind wandering from Remus' problems to her own episode that morning. The thought of Severus made her heart sink once again. She shook her head and looked resolutely at Remus. His problems, at least, had the possibility of a happy ending. "Remus, you deserve to be happy."
He said nothing, but bent his head lower so she could no longer see his eyes.
"Marlene and Sirius love you too," Lily continued, her words painfully slow as she tried to make Remus absorb them. "We all love you, and we only want you to be happy. And this—it's hard now, but it will get better. You forgave Sirius, remember."
"I remember," Remus mumbled, staring at the table.
Lily watched him, her stomach tightening as she watched him chew on his lip. "Do you—you don't regret it—forgiving him—do you?" she asked tentatively.
Remus' head shot up, a look of horror on his face. "No, no!" he said quickly. "Not at all. It's—I'm glad I did. I need him, Lily. I need my friend, and he needs me and I couldn't—I couldn't keep freezing him out like that—and you saw his family—"
"Okay, okay," Lily said, holding her hands up as Remus sank down again. "I just—wanted to check."
They sat in silence for a moment, both absorbed in their own thoughts. Lily's mind worked furiously, thinking over her conversation with Severus earlier, Remus' thoughts on forgiving Sirius, and the scene in Hogsmeade the day before.
"Remus?" she asked.
He picked his head up wearily, watching her apprehensively as though nervous for her question.
"How did you decide to forgive Sirius?" Lily asked, hoping her face didn't betray her anxiety to hear his answer.
Remus paused for a moment and frowned, shaking his head. "It wasn't a big, long battle," he said slowly. "I was angry at him. And then—I saw in the pub his dad and brother—and Sirius—and I just realized, this is one of my best friends. And I'm angry with him, but I love him more and—and then it was easy."
"So you're still angry about what he did?" Lily asked, biting her lip.
"I am," Remus said. "But he's sorry about it, and however angry I am, I don't think it's worth losing my best friend over."
Lily nodded and sat silently, pondering his response. She thought over her reasons for being so angry with Severus. He had made a mistake, just as Sirius had, hadn't he? He seemed sorry for it. He—she didn't know if she would go as far as to say she loved him, but he had been her best friend for six years. That meant something.
"Do you think I should forgive Severus?" she blurted out without thinking.
Remus' eyebrows shot up into his hair and his eyes widened as he stared at her. "Wh—what?" he choked out, taken aback by the question.
Lily felt her face grow warm and she hastily launched into an explanation. "I just—he—he came up to me in potions today—cornered me actually—and he said sorry about—you know—and he really looked it and I don't know—he was my best friend, Remus and what you said about Sirius—and I—I'm not being unfair, am I? I can be angry and still forgive him, right?" she asked, her voice taking on a pleading note at the end.
Remus' expression softened and he chewed the inside of his lip, avoiding looking at her. "Lily," he said finally, glancing up and locking his sad, grey eyes with her beseeching green ones. "I know you were friends with Snape for a long time, and it's difficult for that to end—"
"It's not much different than with Sirius, though, is it?" she asked, wringing her hands. "They both—"
"What Sirius did was awful," Remus cut her off, his gaze becoming steady as he watched her. "It was terrible and it makes me sick to even think about it. But, Lily, Sirius thought he was playing a prank. It was a horrible, twisted prank, but it was a prank. Snape—when he called you that—Lily, you haven't been here that long you don't know what that word really means."
"I know what it means," she snapped, scowling. "I'm the one who it refers to, remember."
"I know, I know," Remus said quickly. "That's not what I meant. I just mean—you can't possibly understand the depth of hatred and elitism and bigotry that the word entails. I mean, honestly, Lily, other than Snape who have you heard use that word?"
She thought for a moment, hoping to prove Remus' words wrong, though she had a horrible feeling she couldn't.
"Mulciber," she whispered dejectedly. "And Avery."
"Those are the kinds of people who throw it around," Remus said, taking her hand. "It's an—an awful word—just disgusting. And, Lily, while what Sirius did was horrible, it was a decision made in a moment, made out of anger. It was terrible and I'm still very angry, but I know he didn't intend for it to really hurt me."
"And you think Severus does intend to hurt me?" she demanded, recoiling slightly.
Remus tightened his grip on her hand and gave her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Lily. Really, I am. But, you don't use that word—or hang around with those people, for that matter, unless you truly believe—certain things. And those beliefs, the people who subscribe to those beliefs, they intend to hurt you and everybody like you."
"But—" Lily began, trying to find a loophole, some way Severus could be part of that group, one of those people, but still not believe those things. She racked her brains for an excuse.
She couldn't find one. With a heavy sigh, Lily squeezed Remus' hand as tears poured down her face. She made no effort to wipe them away and Remus didn't react except to squeeze her hand back.
"He was my best friend," she whispered, her voice wobbling uncontrollably.
"I know, Lilybean," Remus said quietly, standing up and walking over to wrap her in a hug. He ran his hand across her shoulder blades as Lily soaked his shoulder in sobs. "I'm sorry."
When Lily climbed up the spiral staircase to her dormitory she felt as though she had just fought a war. Her entire body ached and protested; her mind and her stomach felt heavy. The thought of her four poster bed almost made her cry out in relief.
The other girls were already in bed when Lily entered the dormitory. She padded to the bathroom to brush her teeth before quickly changing into pajamas. She had just begun to pull back her bed hangings when she heard Alice's voice.
"Lily?" Alice said drowsily. "Is that you?"
"Yes," she whispered, moving closer to her friend so they didn't wake the others up. "Why?"
"I almost forgot," Alice mumbled, reaching over to her nightstand and picking up a jar. "You left your jar of griffin claws in the potions classroom."
Lily took the jar and studied it carefully. It was the one from her potions kit, she recognized the dent in the lid. She furrowed her brow and looked at Alice sharply.
"This wasn't in my potions kit this morning," she said, fighting to keep her voice steady. "I had to go to the supply cupboard."
"Someone left it by your cauldron," Alice said, setting her head back on her pillow and closing her eyes.
"But I never took this jar out," Lily murmured, thinking aloud. "It doesn't make sense."
"Dunno," Alice mumbled, already half asleep. "Maybe someone took it from your potions kit on accident."
"But how would they have gotten—" Lily stopped. She glared down at the jar and turned to ask Alice another question, but the blonde was now snoring gently into her pillow.
"Bloody hell," Lily grumbled, her stomach dropping. She retreated to her bed and tossed the jar in her trunk. She closed her eyes and tried to think about nice things. Her mind replayed her earlier encounter with Severus over and over, until Lily fell asleep with a heavy chest.
Author's Note: Hey everyone, as always thanks for reading and I hope you like this chapter! Just a few notes:
I got a few comments about James and Marlene's reaction to Emmeline and Hestia, so I just want to clarify my line of thinking here. In canon there's really never a mention of homosexual wizards or witches. I went off of that, and the fact that a lot of pureblood families are obsessed with lineage and took that to mean it was something really taboo in the wizarding world and not talked about. If anyone wants to discuss it more, feel free to PM me!
My updates might take a bit longer and be more sporadic now. This semester has been a lot more challenging than last semester and as a result I have a lot less time to update this story, so apologies in advance.
If you don't already and if you want, follow my tumblr ohdeerjily I post teasers/updates about upcoming chapters and answer questions and write short requested fics!
As always, thank you so much for reading and please review! (Sorry for the super long AN!)
